Ask Dr. Dot about KNOBS?

Dear Dot,

I am secretly involved with two men at the same time. One is gorgeous but has a little knob, the other is rather ugly but is hung like a donkey. I feel I have to choose one, what do you suggest?

Joanne      

Montclair, NJ

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Dear Joanne,

Just because you love one, doesn’t mean you have to hate the rest. As long as you haven’t promised them you would be monogamous, why not keep seeing both? Seldom will you find one person to fulfill your every need/desire.

Modern times mean modern love lives. As long as you keep the safe sex rule and don’t make promises you can’t keep, play the field and follow your heart, even if it pulls you in more than one direction. Like Stephen Stills sang “Love the one you’re with”

If you still insist on choosing one, remember that we will all look like raisins later in life and a big knob won’t be so important then. Choose the one who makes you laugh    Too Funny  and treats you the best.

Dr. Dot

 

Dear Dr. Dot

I got together again with my ex who I used to date YEARS ago. He used to be very well hung, now “it” seems to have shrunken. DO men shrink with time?      Peeing

Sad in Queens 

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Hi Sad in Queens,

Just like any muscle, it you don’t use it, it will shrink and wither away. Smoking can also deter a mans manly hood, especially smoking pot. With time and a lot of exercising his muscle, it should get a bit stronger and hence, bigger again.Suggest to him, even on days you don’t meet, to wank like a mad man to get that bugger back into tip top shape.

         Sex

Massage in Boston, Massachusetts ( Dr. Dots newest assistant)

Recently I was in Boston and decided I needed another Massage Therapist in that area. I searched high and low and found the best one in the whole state! (oops, hope Stephanie-doesn’t take this the wrong way, you are both the BOMB!  Bomb 

    Meet Chris,

– the newest member to join the Dr. Dot Team. She runs her own clinic and has more than enough experience to make your body feel amazing. If you are heading towards Boston, write me an email and I will arrange for Chris to treat you and or your entourage with her strong, caring hands. Read more about her below

Dr. Dot     Massage Therapist 

Hi. My name is Chris and I am 32 years old and living in Boston, Massachusetts.

Originally from New York, I found my way to Boston 7 years ago after living in

Minneapolis, where I attended massage school.  I have been practicing massage for almost 10 years now, (licensed in both Minnesota and Massachusetts) but started when I was little, trading back and forth with my friends.  I am a marathon runner and have great knowledge about the body from my years of running and rowing.  Massage was always one of my favorite things in the world, next to ice cream and running, and I knew I had to make it my life.

I am one of the lucky few massage therapists who was sought out by Dr.Dot and I think it was a spiritual thing because working with performing artists, actors and professional athletes has been the biggest thing missing from my life since opening up my own massage studio a few years ago.  I don’t think Dr.Dot or I had any idea how much we’d have in common from our first phone call – from our Volkswagens and our crazy mothers to our ex-boyfriend’s mothers being one of the best things that ever happened to us and our passion for music and working with musicians – we had a fun time getting to know one another when she came to visit me at my massage studio in Lexington, MA.  After a 10 hour day of doing deep tissue massage, Dr.Dot was very impressed with my massage, the strength of my hands and elbows and how I helped her low back pain.

 

Massage is my greatest passion and I love what I do.  My lab-husky, Betty and my big fat 22 lb black cat Alex can tell you or you can read my testimonials on my website from clients (www.LexingtonMassage.com).  I am very excited to get back into working with musicians and others while they are passing through the East Coast – MA, CT, NY, NJ, RI, NH, ME, VT.  I have flexibility with my schedule at my studio as I have a number of other massage therapists who can help me rearrange my schedule so I can accommodate the schedules of people on tour.

 


Comment from BEAV one of the WCCC DJ’s

NoNameNews

July 27, 2004

Many thanks to Dr. Dot…WOW!

So last night I go hang at WCCC in Hartford with my boy Rick the Fluffer. Apparently he has this gal Dr. Dot coming in to give him a rub. I had no idea who she was so I did a little research and was quite surprised to learn that she has laid hands on the biggest rock stars of all time!

Masseuse to the stars, indeed.

Well, let me tell you something. This girl aint no joke and is H-A-R-D-C-O-R-E. She knows her shit, and has mad skillz like you can’t even imagine. I was fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of her magic hands and I still haven’t recovered!

Very intelligent and talented lady and I just wanted to give her a shout out her and say thanks for the abuse! (I mean…yeah, it hurt…but it was good pain, the best kind!)

Check her out at her main site DrDot.com, or her more “racy” site PureDrDot.com. (I suggest the latter…as painted boobs are involved!) You can also always use the link on the right of our pages for a quick fix.

Thanks again Doc!!!

Beav

Check out Beav’s site : www.nonameradio.com

I am SO happy to be back in NYC.

Dr. Dot

ps. I have LOADS of photos to down load, crop and put on this blog. I have so much to do now, don’t even know where to begin.   Hmm 2 

Viva Lance Armstrong

Armstrong’s tour de force

17:22pm 25th July 2004 Lance Armstrong secured a record sixth Tour de France victory on the Champs Elysee after surviving the final stage unscathed.

The Texan, who recovered from testicular cancer before winning his first Tour in 1999, became the first man to win six editions of the most competitive race in cycling.

In doing so, he surpassed five-time winners Jacques Anquetil, Bernard Hinault, Eddy Merckx and Miguel Indurain.

After covering 3,391.1 kilometres in 20 days’ racing, the 32-year-old finished with a comfortable lead of six minutes, 19 seconds ahead of the German champion Andreas Kloden. Ivan Basso of Italy was third.

Although his achievement is unprecedented, Armstrong has not often looked stronger and he is considering returning next year to try for a seventh victory.

That will dismay his rivals, none of whom were in the same class as the US Postal rider this year.

This was supposed to be his toughest July yet with the route designed to counter his strengths, while at least four competitors were said to have realistic chances of beating him.

However, Jan Ullrich, a winner in 1997, did not even manage the second place (schade war Deutschland?) he has achieved on the three other occasions he has raced against Armstrong in the Tour.

Tyler Hamilton, meanwhile, and the Spanish duo of Roberto Heras and Iban Mayo all dropped out with injuries before the finish.

Richard Virenque gave the French reason to celebrate as he won a seventh Tour of the Mountains jersey while Australia’s Robbie McEwen secured the green points jersey.

 With a goddess like Sheryl on your side, winning is easier. I adore Lance and his ambition, not even cancer can keep the man down. CONGRATS Lance.

Emotional roller coaster rides (and some week old photos)

Ah, life if the suburbs, it gets dull, so to make things lively and exciting, relatives scrap and fight. So good to be here in CT again, getting screamed at by various relatives after they have a few drinks. Makes you want to move here.

We didn’t go to NYC after all, too much driving. We stayed up in MASS for a few more days where gray squirrels and the Red Sox rule. We headed south to CT on Tuesday night and arrived at 1am or so and got hit with bad news. NO INTERNET!

Have I gotten so high maintenance that I can not surrive with out internet? I thought I was suffering already with a MAC lap top up at Betsy’s, not being able to down load photos or use cute colored letters to treat your eyes to some fun while you should be working.

But now, no internet, I felt like a junkie must feel with no smack. My uncle Billy who just miraculously got out of jail, what should have been a 20 year sentence for a fatal car accident (he was in passanger seat and was fighting with his gal who was driving) anyways they hit an on coming car 4 years ago and killed the driver 🙁  and he has been sitting in jail ever since. Apparently my bitchy phone call motivated his appointed lawyer to get an appeal, he won and is now free. I do not make this stuff up, I actually sugar coat things so Jerry Springer doesn’t call.

Anyhow, Billy and I both yearn for the internet so we hounded the cable company and that didn’t work, so I called a guy who calls himself the Computer Guy aka Tim, an older southern man who helped us several times by coming over and charging next to nothing to fix the PC.

Since then, lets see, Jasmine had her two best buddies come here to join us and the house is packed, it is hot as hell and as usual, the yearly family feud has broken out over who the hell knows what. It sucks always being the visitor, you walk on egg shells and feel bad about your strange habits. Can’t wait to have just one big ass house somewhere and make everyone come visit me for a change. Naturally my yard will be full of dogs.

The thrill has kind of died now over the photos, but better late than never:

This one above is Laurie, a friend of mine now, but years ago, she was the friend of my aunt Caron and Nancy, in other words, I have known her since I was 5 years old or so. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body and I think her face resembles Burnedette Peters a bit. Her 21-year-old son, Rick, is a DJ on WCCC, Connecticut’s best classic rock station. He does the late show on Monday and Tuesdays I believe. I mean the REALLY late show. I will be his guest this Monday night and he said I may be able to play what ever I want, in other words, predominantley Frank Zappa, Beatles and Led Zepp, maybe some OLD Pink Floyd (I won’t even listen to anything with out Roger Waters on it) and then maybe some Alice Cooper or Janis, Doors or Moody Blues. I will try not to swear  🙂

 That is Felicia and Kill Bill at Pastoris in Ellington.

 Shannon and I at Pastoris.

 This is Steve, I call him Elton because he sings EXACTLY like Elton John. Very cool dude.

Above, from right to left is Steve, Shannon, Laurie, her man and the blonde is Shannon’s cousin, whom I guess somehow, must be related to me. We almost had words when she proudly talked about her being a Republican and how she loves Bush and works in Hartford at the Capital in politics and will absolutely vote for Bush. If I was a dog, the hair on my back would have been standing up so tall, it would have looked like a fucking mohawk. I guess it is best NOT to talk politics in a bar after drinking margaritas . Live and let live, live and let live, I keep telling myself.

I have more photos, like the one of Chris whom I hired up in MASS, but I will wait until I get my ass back to NYC to download more photos and crop them and all that crap, as this PC could die any minute.

Billy, my uncle I mentioned before, loved it when I printed out my blog and sent it to him. I am not much of a letter writer as I have too much writing to do as it is, so this blog is kind of a lazy way to keep in touch with everyone at the same time, without having to type the same shit over and over again to all of my pals.

Anyhow, he loved it and showed it to all of the inmates and it was entertainment for all of them, glad it helped fight off boredom for someone.

Last night, (Friday) Jasmine, Rachel and Hannah all went to the mall and then to Golf Land in Vernon. My ol pal Vickie Lindstrom brought them from the mall to Gold Land, and we thought all would be well. I got a call from them and they were yelling “the place was held up and robbed! we have to give statements cause we were witnesses!” HELLO! Are my family police/drama magnets?

Can’t we just go out once without the cops being involved? I think not. Anyhow, They were screaming and all I was thinking was, GREAT! Rachel’s mom will LOVE this, I let them go to where crazy guys dressed in army gear run amok with huge shot guns?

The guy (how pathetic must you be to HOLD UP an arcade?) was dressed from head to toe in Army clothes and was packing a huge gun. First he held up the staff with big ass knives, got his loot and waved the gun around while he ran off. The girls saw the whole thing and several cop cars (they said a dozen) came and also some under cover detectives. The girls were giggling the second time they called, saying the detective that was interviewing them went to Rockville High School with me and knew me as Dot Jagger/Leckner.

I told them to put him on the phone. His name was Steve, but I wouldn’t recognize him unless I saw him, he found it amusing these 15 year old gals there with German passports, he was like, “what the HELL are you gals doing in Vernon, CT!!??” They told him and he said, ah, Vickie brought you here, and Dot? Oh, I know her too!” We had a good laugh on the phone and he dropped them at Denny’s (most exciting place in Vernon) as the Golf Land was closing and I wasn’t there yet.

The girls LOVE to go to Denny’s and gawk at the scanky looking crowds that pile in there after 11pm. It is so entertaining to eat and watch the stream of weirdoes come in and out of the place. It is open 24/7 so anyone who is under 21 hangs out there and then when the bars close (a whopping 1am) folks come there to eat and see if there isn’t something they could drag home with them.EW!

My assistants Joy and Catherine have been busy massaging the manager of KISS’s (Doc) wife, Wendy. She LOVES my team. I haven’t massaged her yet; I hear she is gorgeous and sweet too. I am to massage a band called Disturbed (do YOU know who they are, as I don’t) on July 30th in NJ.

I have missed a lot of what’s going on because I have had NO INTERNET!! Can you feel me! I guess camping would be out of the question for me, as I am too high (tech) maintenance, I admit it.

But then again, rolling around in the mud/dirt with bugs and having to wear flip flops cause the shower floor is too nasty and smells like ASS doesn’t sound appealing to me anymore, I did that for years following the Grateful Dead. Can’t believe they are on tour, I miss Jerry!

Gotta scoot.

 Dr.

Ask Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

I can’t keep an erection, especially with a condom.

Chris.K     Jersey City

Hey Chris,

My theory is, fluoride is responsible for softies. In the US, there is a lot

of fluoride in our drinking water, which  gives us nice teeth but makes our

men soft down there. In Europe, the men have horrible teeth but are as stiff

as a board and can go all night; so,it must be the water! Try drinking Evian or

imported water for a month AND try to make your lady orgasm before you even

grab for a condom.

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Hi Dr.

I need cheap ways to look gorgeous.The competition is stiff here in the city

and I am not rich.

Christy,   NYC

Dear Christy

1. if you have those porno-like  fake nails, stop getting them, men don’t

care about them anyways.Do your own pedicure and coat toenails and cuticles

with vaseline before showering to make the polish last longer.

2. Forget brand named clothing, jewelry and shoes. It doesn’t matter as long

as you look clean and polished.

3. Shave, don’t get waxed. It saves time and money.

4.Wet and Wild lip liner, nail polish etc is super cheap and no one will

know the difference.

5. You can cut corners on everything except your hair, pay for a good

colorist, but get a $10 cut at a barber shop.

6.Drink club soda when you go out. It hydrates your skin and only tap water

is cheaper.

7.Buy a oil free sun block for your day cream, you don’t need any other face

cream in the day. For night  time, ask your dermatologist for a prescription

cream that erases fine lines.Use vaseline around eyes.

         

       

Kiss in Boston (Paul Stanley got the Dr. Dot rub down)

“Dot – I don’t know where to begin….I had SUCH a blast tonight (last night) from the bar to meeting Paul Stanley….I don’t BELIEVE I met him…he looks fuckin GREAT!” …Robyn

Let me back track here about Thursday night before I get to the amazing Paul Stanley part. I was told by Mike, Betsy’s son, NOT to go to Red’s bar and Grill in Lynn Mass to do karaoke. He said “Dot, it is a Hell’s Angels bar, you will get stabbed and they all do coke there, people get killed there” blah blah blah. The more shit he talked about the place, the more determined I was to go out and do karaoke there! The Dj, “Jimmy Ice Entertainment” had told me about the place. I met him last year when he was the karaoke DJ at another place in Lynn. So at least I would know someone there, he and his pal Joe. After miles of the NASTIEST neighborhoods I have seen in a LONG time, I mean, I am NOT prejudice at ALL, but I was the only white cracker around for MILES. I stopped into a shop to get cough drops (trick to sound better at karaoke) and people were just staring at me like “I know you lost white girl”.

It doesn’t matter to me what color people are, you are either cool, or you’re not. BUT this area looked scary, run down and dangerous. Like they say “Lynn Lynn the city of Sin, you never come out the way you went in”. Anyhow, I crossed some rail road tracks and there was Reds. I pulled in and the parking lot had an all girl soft ball team out side smoking cigs. I didn’t see any Hells Angels, K? Inside there was several TV’s adorning the wooden walls and some folks playing pool. I sat at the bar and noticed most of the folks at the bar were older and all buying lotto/lottery tickets the whole time and they were engrossed in some kind of lottery game or show on half of the TV’s (don’t ask, as I am no expert on that) AND on the other TV’s, there was a Red Sox game. I doubt there is any other city in America that is SO into their local baseball team as here in Bean town. What the HELL is so exciting about watching a game that 1) You aren’t actually playing 2)You have no control over who wins or loses, but get upset anyways if your team loses 3) The men wear tight polyester pants 4) Takes HOURS to end Oh Gawd I just can’t share the joy and or agony of watching any sport, I want to do something, not watch it. People from Boston are so obsessed with the Red Sox and baseball in general, it boggles the mind. All women in this huge area like it or not, are baseball widows.

The men are THAT glued to the game. I am sure they would prefer to watch their beloved Red Sox over a strip show hands down! Anyhow, there were no coke sniffing bikers at this BORING bar and once again, 80’s style perm/hair do’s ruled the room. I asked someone at the bar, “Is this the White peoples bar?” as I looked around and noticed there was NO hispanic or blacks anywhere around. Strange, as the area all around the bar was absolutely dark skinned. Odd how all the white folks gather at this boring bingo bar and watch baseball on TV. The karaoke thing was merely an annoying distraction to the TV crowd. They were kind of pissed off every time some one sang, and when they clapped so effortlessly at the end of every song, I know it was because they were glad the fucker stopped singing. It was NO fun to sing there ,as you really had the feeling the whole bar wanted you to shut up so they could hear the game. I sang two songs and beat feet out of there. You KNOW the place sucked if I leave early, as normally I pay the staff to stay longer so everyone can sing longer.Not the case here. In short, I don’t recommend it at ALL, even if there is NOTHING to do, stay home and wank instead, or eat ice cream.Plus, if I hear that song from the Grease sound track again, actually, any of the songs, I will vomit profusely.

 Since KISS didn’t want a massage before the show, their very cool manager Doc asked me to be at the hotel around midnight to massage Paul. I could have gone to the show, but Great Woods (tweeter center in mansfield mass) is far from Wakefield and it is a bitch to get through the traffic (ask my assistant Stephanie who had to get through it to massage Sting). I decided I would pass on seeing the show. I mean, they put on a KICK ASS show but I wasn’t in the mood to fight traffic. I asked my pal Robyn to meet me at Seaport Bar & Grill on 150 Northern ave in Boston.Along the way I got to see most of downtown Boston and I remembered how quaint it is. It is clean, small, friendly but has so many construction sites and one way streets, it is almost impossible to find your way around in a car there. Better to just park where ever you get off the highway and take a taxi. Anyhow, I saw online that this Seaport Bar has karaoke on Friday and Sunday nights. It is actually on the water, big boats docked all around it and all. We had a great time (I will post photos from all of this on Tuesday) catching up and laughing our sarcastic asses off. She wasn’t in the mood to sing, but I was ( I sang 1 Beatles tune and 2 Zepp tunes). There is a great vibe in this joint, everyone is happy and friendly, very into the karaoke and it is cheap as HELL there. Didn’t catch the DJ’s name, but it is a guy in his late thirties who speaks with a heavy Boston accent (it is fun making them say the words “park the car”). This DJ is the best so far in MASS, he is fair, every one sings when it is their turn, (regardless of breast size or if they are a regular) the sound was awesome and he only played music in between singers briefly while he looked for the next song. I highly recommend this place.I have to say, I felt a tad like Jessica Simpson for a second when I asked the bartender what the difference between chicken tenders and buffalo tenders was. I even said “I don’t mean to pull a Jessica Simpson on you, but what is the difference?”.Hey I was a strict vegetarian from age 10 until just 2 years ago, now I just eat chicken a couple times a month for protein, so this buffalo thing threw me off.

 Robyn and I took a taxi to my car and I can’t believe it only cost $10 to park at a garage in Boston! In NYC it would have cost me $40. This place is cheap! We drove to the Ritz Carlton Hotel and dragged my massage table (yeah, the one I am not supposed to be carrying) to the fancy smancy bar. We sat at this dinky table, me with one eye on the lobby/door to see when the band would come in. Tiny parades of scantily clad groupies (I will DEFINITELY be inserting a photo of them HERE asap) were already circling the bar.It reminded me of the good old rock and roll days when there were still groupies around. I seldom saw them in Germany, actually only when KISS played did I see such groupies. They all strolled around the bar looking like “uh, we are just normal guest here, don’t mind us”. Most had painful Fuck Me shoes on with micro mini skirts and bleached Vince Neil/Poison hair.I was thinking to myself “they still make you?” but I wasn’t feeling mean, I understand their desire, their hunger and curiosity.

Three of them sat down on a sofa across from us and asked me in such a sweet, innocent girly kind of way “could you take a photo of us?”. I did -and one with my camera too. They drove down from Manchester, NH for the show. They asked about my shirt (I changed into my drdot.com t-shirt in the car) and I showed them my flyer. One of them said she had been to my site before, so I gave her my flyer. All three gals were gawking at my flyer when Paul Stanley and Eric of KISS walked into the bar.Paul said “Dr. Dot! How are you?” . The groupies jaws (and Robyn’s too) all dropped in amazement. I gave Paul a hug and introduced him to Robyn. Paul then introduced me to Eric, who acted like he knew me, but when I massaged KISS over the years, Peter was on drums, so I had never met Eric.I told Paul I live in NYC now and he said that he lives in LA and I said no problem, I have two great assistants out there. He said “Dot, sending one of your assistants to massage me would be like me sending an assistant out on stage to do my show, people want the best, not the rest”.

 NOTE: Here is a word from Robyn: “After an emotionally exhausting day full of hysterical crying, beach lounging, compulsive shopping then more crying – I obviously needed help from a pro. Lucky for me, Dr. Dot was in Boston and I knew a few hours of girl time would cure all that ailed me. We met at the Seaside Bar and Grill on the waterfront where Dot and I gossiped over a few cocktails. She also gave me some much needed relationship advice. Dot is one of the few people who can “kick me in the ass” so to speak and give me the honest advice that I need. So thanks Dot! But the purpose of our jaunt to the Seaside was so the lovely Dr. could get her Karaoke on. Man, that woman can belt out a Zeppelin tune that would make Mr. Plant’s jaw drop. All the men (even the ladies) were in awe. Then the clock struck midnight and Dot had to shuffle off to the Ritz to meet up with the Kiss crew after their show at the Tweeter Center. So we’re sitting in the bar watching the scantily dressed groupies filter in and the next thing you know Paul Stanley is standing behind me. My jaw hit the floor. I never get star struck but there he was the singer of Kiss without make-up looking absolutely fabulous. He greeted Dot with a big hug. The last time she massaged him was in Germany so she informed him she’s in the states now. However Paul lives in LA not the NY/NJ area where Dot’s based. But she informed him she has assistants in LA and Paul replied “Dot, I don’t want an assistant. That’s like me sending an assistant on stage to sing – no one wants that, they want the best.” I thought that was the funniest thing ever – but its true. No one can beat a Dr. Dot massage. Dot and Paul took off to massage land and I walked home screaming into my friends answering machine “I just met Paul Stanley from Kiss!!” Thank god Dot lives 237 miles away from me – I don’t think Boston could handle the two of us together. So thank you Dot for yet another memorable and therapeutic evening.”  Robyn Hale Editorial Advisor FAT CITY Magazine PO Box 120196 Boston, MA 02112

Back to my train of thought. Doc (manager) walked in the bar and said hello.He was planning on getting a massage after Paul. Doc is a VIP manager type, he kicks ass and does so with a smile. Last show I saw of KISS, he insisted that I sit on the sound board and watch the show, and he sat me in his chair. He has a directors type chair, you know, those Hollywood type chairs with the stars name embroidered on it, and his says ‘DOC’ on it. I felt honored to be in the kings chair. Respect. Doc and Eric went off and relaxed in the bar, and were probably adored by the harem of gorgeous ladies that lingered around. Paul didn’t want a drink, he said (rather loudly in front of the groupies) “No, I don’t want to sit here at all, I want my rub down Dot”. He had a sore hip from all that jumping around he does on stage, so we headed up to his giant suite. Paul is not your ordinary rock star type. Not brown nosing one bit here, you know me, I don’t do that, but the man is very deep, he has his head screwed on properly and multi-talented. He showed me many paintings he has done on his lap top and the art he does would make Ronnie Wood a bit jealous. He does portraits, like one of his dad and a self portrait that rivals top notch art work. He has his art work on display and for sale in galleries out in LA. I told him people would buy it in a heart beat if it was available online, it is gorgeous material.

Plus, most KISS fans know, that Paul was played the lead role in Phantom of the Opera up in Toronto from May until October 1999. He got raved reviews and told me they want him to star again in the play on Broadway as soon as he has time, for three months or so. He showed me photos of him dressed as the phantom and he looks so mysterious. While were surfing around on his lap top, I showed him my web sites and the links section, I asked him if the KISS banner I had was the correct site as there are so many KISS sites, he clicked on it and said , yes, that is the one (http://www.kissonline.com) and he showed me around that site. How cool that was having Paul show me the KISS site and showing him mine. He saved my www.puredrdot.com site in his ‘favorites’ on the lap top. 🙂 I was also honored to see his private photos of his cute as a button 10 year old son. Curly strawberry blonde hair, light brown eyes, oh gawd he is an angel. The girls haven’t a chance when he grows up. I massaged him for around 90 minutes, sweating my ass off to give him the best massage ever, plus he must have had the fire place going, as it was super warm in his room and it smelled of fire wood. He said he had spent the day before walking around Boston shopping.He doesn’t seem to mind when people recognize him or ask for autographs, he said it is normal to him and I know they adore their fans. He is in great shape by the way, and wins the prize hands down for the best calves in rock and roll. I mean, I have massaged him many times before, but his calves are in top shape now, like a professional bicyclist who just finished Tour de France or so. I don’t think Paul smokes or drinks, and I know he eats super health. He says he doens’t eat before a show as it may make him too sluggish, ditto with massage, he never gets a massage before the show as it relaxes him too much.

After the massage he wrote me a check, how cool is that to have a personal check from Paul? It has his name on it in full, Paul Stanley. I doubt I will even cash it, it is just too brilliant. I was admiring his jewelry while he was writing the check and he told me most of it was made for him personally in Japan. He has exquisite taste in jewelry, I know, I know, I sound SO ass kissing here, but I can’t help it, he is fucking cool. His jewelry is all silver and he has these thick, kind of linked chains, but each link has a design on it and one has a big purple square brilliant stone on it, looks like something a king would wear. They all have those clasps on them, you know the one the Brits have on their pocket watches, the silver bar that slips through the silver hole. They look like royal jewels. Even his wallet is majestic looking, dark brown suede with silver and stone jewels on it, and it has a long thick silver chain that can detach if needed to prevent pick pockets, I said “I doubt anyone gets close enough to you for that Paul”. He is relaxed, friendly and very intelligent. Organized, clean and has impeccable taste, like I said, not a typical rock star. He said the band is better than ever right now, tight, full of energy and tough as nails. I regret not seeing the show now. It is kind of embarrassing when the star asks you “So, how did you like the show” and having to say, well, I didn’t go, it was too far, etc. It was so late by the time I left, Doc didn’t want a massage anymore, and so Paul got the concierge up there to carry my table down for me, what a gentleman! I didn’t take any photos, I already have a whole KISS section on my sites and when a person gets a massage, they get so relaxed and covered in oil, that is NOT the time to take a photo. No matter, take my word for it, Paul is looking great! I will post his autograph soon though. I tell you, it is such a pleasure to work with KISS, especially Paul, he is generous (HUGE tipper) and very polite and fun to chat to.

I can’t wait to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. I guess I will head down to NYC later tonight, Jasmine has her gal pal Rachel Liebeskind (the daughter of Daniel Liebeskind who is the architect doing the new world trade center) with her and they are demanding to go to the city, apparently CT is too dull for them for a whole week. I understand this, as it is true, if you are under 21, keg parties in the woods and hanging in the mall is about all the burbs have to offer the wild youth. This has GOT to be my longest blog ever, your eyes must need a massage by now. I will be adding photos and links, color and all that when I get my hands on a PC. KISSes

Dr. Dot

Doug from CT comments on my Turtle’s Sex

Dear Dot,

 you conclude incorrectly that since Sugar appears to have “bitchy attributes” that Sugar is female. After closer inspection of the picture of Sugar and Spice, and taking into account both turtles behavorial patterns and lineage, I have come to the conclusion that Sugar is most definitely male. In the photo, I discovered a “Gleam” in sugars eye as he was looking at Spice. It was the “I want to do the turtle nasty with you, the naughty, the nice, the ‘give it’ to you Spice.” The reason he appears “bitchy” is because of his Arabian lineage, and his strict observance of the Koran. In fact he lusts after, longs for, yet despises Spice for her “free love,” Greek heritage and shell wiggle as she walks. She’s an infidel, walking with her head UNCOVERED, extended out FAR and HIGH beyond the perimeter of her shell, where it should be kept retracted, hidden, out of sight. So you see, Sugar is indeed a male, He’s just not turtley enough to ‘git’ some Spice in his life; He’s just a virgin, suffering from male back-up syndrome, a Muslim religious zealot, who displays outwardly bitchy female attributes.

 Doug