Doug from CT comments on my Turtle’s Sex

Dear Dot,

 you conclude incorrectly that since Sugar appears to have “bitchy attributes” that Sugar is female. After closer inspection of the picture of Sugar and Spice, and taking into account both turtles behavorial patterns and lineage, I have come to the conclusion that Sugar is most definitely male. In the photo, I discovered a “Gleam” in sugars eye as he was looking at Spice. It was the “I want to do the turtle nasty with you, the naughty, the nice, the ‘give it’ to you Spice.” The reason he appears “bitchy” is because of his Arabian lineage, and his strict observance of the Koran. In fact he lusts after, longs for, yet despises Spice for her “free love,” Greek heritage and shell wiggle as she walks. She’s an infidel, walking with her head UNCOVERED, extended out FAR and HIGH beyond the perimeter of her shell, where it should be kept retracted, hidden, out of sight. So you see, Sugar is indeed a male, He’s just not turtley enough to ‘git’ some Spice in his life; He’s just a virgin, suffering from male back-up syndrome, a Muslim religious zealot, who displays outwardly bitchy female attributes.