Dr. Dot's Blog

This time the big boss of Universal, who produces the 5th Wheel, wrote me and assured me this time it will REALLY be on!

If you stay up LATE next Friday night, which is April 30th, stay up until 1am(which is technically May 1st), and you are just channel surfing, why not have a look at that show, the 5th wheel. I put a lot of time and effort into filming the episode I was on, and it is worth watching. Now, I must say, I know they can use those cartoon like pop up windows and antics to take the piss out of someone on the show if they (producers/editors) didn’t like one of the people on the show, but as far as I know, it went WELL and it was a very sarcastic atmosphere, everyone at eachother’s throats and groins.

If you want to see what I wrote about  the show, click HERE and to see WHO is on the show click  HERE .

I put some really funny photos in that last “HERE” and made fun of the other contestants, it is all part of the vibe there, it is very competitive! By the time they threw me into the 5th Wheel van, the other contestants had already been together the whole day, the females had already showed their tits to the guys and they had already made out with eachother etc.

So it was up to me to convince one of those guys to leave their nasty girls for me. I did this without showing any skin or kissing anyone. Words are oh so powerful!

The 5th Wheel
Episode #3537		Saturday, May 1 12:30AM EDT WGNSAT Saturday, May 1 1:00AM EDT WNYWDT2 Channel 44.2 UPN Saturday, May 1 1:00AM EDT WWOR Channel 9 UPN click HERE to see your local listing
An insomniac New York date has fishing poles, contortionists, truth-or-dare, the Statue of Liberty, Russian beauties, and a “man-magnet.” (TVPG)

To find out the local channel that will air this episode, click HERE . I am taking a risk here, as they may have well twisted it all around in their editing techniques, but what the hell, have a look, have a laugh. The “man magnet” they are writing about is me. They tell all people who are picked to be the “5th WHEEL” to do a short 2 minute monologue about themselves, that would purposely provocate and annoy the other contestants, to stir things up. They really DO tell you to be outrageous and to stir things up. So that is what became of my little clip. They let the two couples spend all day together, swapping partners, and getting all cozy with one another, then they sit them all down in the van and show them all the little video of who the 5th Wheel will be that day.

Naturally the females watching the film are already loathing me and are ready to rip my hair out before I even get onto the van! So, immediately after showing the clip, they throw the 5th Wheel in, this time being me.

You have to be very confident, hold your own, as they all want to verbally rough you up, all at once. After my roughing up on the Howard Stern show back in March 6, 2002 ( in which I did hold my own as good as one can against a room full of obnoxious, agressive PIGS) I have learned to never let that shit happen again, so I was ready and we had a sharp exchange of words, it was fucking funny!

I will be up watching and if I stay up and wait for the show and it doesn’t come on again, I will just give up on ever seeing it. So this is the last time I plus this friggin’ show on the blog. If it comes on and you see it, email me your comments – the good, bad and the ugly ones too.

Dr.

“If you like Fuckin’, marriage ain’t for you!”

My face hurts from watching Chris Rock’s new special “Never Scared” on HBO. It is the funniest shit I have seen since his last special “Bigger and Blacker”. He is definately at the top of my wish list, as to who I would like to massage and hang with. Glad I am not the only one who is against the idea of marriage. It is old fashioned and makes people too comfortable. You just try harder when you are just in love without a contract.

A poem for females….

                                                                                                            

 I shave my legs,

 I sit down to pee.

 And I can justify

 any shopping spree.

 Don’t go to a barber,

 but a beauty salon.

 I can get a massage

 without a hard-on.

 I can balance the checkbook,

 I can pump my own gas.

 Can talk to my friends,

 about the size of my ass.

 My beauty’s a masterpiece,

 and yes, it takes long.                                                                                                  

 At least I can admit,

 to others when I’m wrong.

 I don’t drive in circles,

 at any cost.

 And I don’t have a problem,

 admitting I’m lost.

 I never forget,

 an important date.

 You just gotta deal with it,

 I’m usually late.

 I don’t watch movies,

with lots of gore.

 Don’t need instant replay, 

 to remember the score.

 I won’t lose my hair,

 I don’t get jock itch.

 And just cause I’m assertive,

 Don’t call me a bitch.                                                                             

 Don’t say to your friends,

 Oh yeah, I can get her.

 In your dreams, my dear,

 I can do better!

 Flowers are okay,

 But jewelry’s best.

 Look at me you idiot…

 Not at my chest????

 I don’t have a problem,

 With Expressing my feelings.

 I know when you’re lying,

 You look at the ceiling.

 DON’T call me a GIRL ,

 a BABE or a CHICK .

 I am a WOMAN.

 Get it?, you DICK!?!

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A male friend of mine let me in our pure man talk the other day. I get that a lot, I get the raw shit, stuff guys hide from their girlfriends, or even females in general!

 For some reason, they don’t hold back, they tell me the same shit they tell their guy pals. On one hand, that is great, then I can take that knowledge and help people with it, on the other hand, over the years, it has made me jaded, as in, no one can pull the wool over my eyes/bullshit me. Anyhow, he was saying, you see, a woman like you, well you are a “1” . I was like “huh?”-

“Yes, we rate chicks on a scale from 1 to 5, 1 being the best, hottest, 5 being a double bagger, emergency shag” he continued. Us guys, well, we all love to drool over the “1” chicks, but know they are too much trouble, you can never have them to yourselves. All the other guys want them and it is not worth the trouble. We prefer a “3” who thinks she is a “4”.” HELLO!! I was a bit annoyed, but then again, I hear women say the same thing, “He is hot, but I wouldn’t want him for my boyfriend, too many chicks would be after him and I don’t need the extra hassel!”

Funny how when Spring arrives,  I get more business in the “relationship help” department. I get so much work, so many calls, sessions, emails, mostly from females in distress. They are all having  the same crisis. Their guys are all action apathetic. Suddenly their men don’t call much, don’t visit much, they act like they don’t care much.

It is the time of year ladies. Spring, they want to be single and check out the other females. Let them fucking go if they want to. Just get  busy. Work out big time, eat healthy, learn something new, go to new places you have never been to, just go go GO! Nothing worse than chasing a guy. It never works anyways.

How can you prevent this horn-dog triggered behaviour? What could you do differently? Not much, you could buy him a hat or cap of some kind come April 1st, so that not so many sun rays get to his head, which trigger his hormones to go wild and balls to grow bigger. Keep him inside, in the dark like a mushroom if you can. heehee.

Just get busy I say, that’s all you can do or just………

“Love the One You’re With”
by Stephen Stills

If you’re down and confused, and you don’t remember who you’re talkin’ to. Concentration slip away, ‘cause your baby is so far away.

Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

Don’t be angry, don’t be sad, and don’t sit cryin’ over good times you’ve had. There’s a girl right next to you, and she’s just waitin’ for something to do.

And there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

Dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit, dit dit dit.

Turn your heartache right into joy, she’s a girl, and you’re a boy. Well get it together, make it real nice,
You ain’t gonna need anymore advice.

Hi Dr. Dot,

Wolves in Alaska are still running for their lives, but I                     
personally wanted to thank you. With Defenders of
Wildlife, we have already raised over $80,000 and
generated an additional 30,000 petition signatures
demanding that Alaska’s Governor Murkowski end the
savage aerial killing of wolves.

Despite our efforts so far, unbelievably, the killing
continues. We are more committed than ever to ending
this barbaric slaughter. We need your help to step up
our public education and mobilization advertising
campaign calling for an end to aerial gunning which
will run in major newspapers across the country.

Support our efforts here: http://www.care2.com/go/z/13454

Plans for the next ten days include:
** Purchasing ad space in editions of The Washington
Post, USA Today and the Los Angeles Times that will
reach over 1.5 million and help us to reach our goal
of 100,000 petitions. Launching an email mobilization
campaign that will go to over 900,000 wildlife activists
and supporters. See ad: http://www.care2.com/go/z/13503

** The public must understand the brutal nature of
chasing down wolves from airplanes until they are too
tired to run any further. They need to know how wolf
packs suffer when their family members are shot
point-blank, too exhausted to escape.

Our goal is to raise another $45,000 by Earth Day, 4/22,
to place more ads and expand our public outreach and
mobilization campaign. We need your help.
Go to: http://www.care2.com/go/z/13454

Thank you for caring,
Randy Paynter
President, Care2 &
The Petition Site

PS. When I hear about these sickening wolf hunts, I feel better
knowing that so many of you are out there who also care.
Thank you so much for your help — it makes me proud to
be a part of such an amazing community.

You can help here: http://www.care2.com/go/z/13454

The last few days have been so gorgeous, even the buildings in the city are basking in the long awaited sun.

You get the idea, gorgeous weather, nice breeze through Central Park. I walked by the Dakota, where that ASSHOLE shot John Lennon on my way to the park. There are always people gathered out front, no matter what time of day or night. They are there to show love. I roller-bladed around the park one time, which is 7 miles. Dodging the many bikers and horse drawn carts, dogs on LONG leashes etc.

There were so many people on the Grand Lawn, I looked to see if Bob Dylan was in the middle somewhere playing or something, but no, just a normal sunny day in the park- packed full and happy.

I find the biggest problem in the park for women is finding a place to pee. There are only two places that I know of to go to and the lines are about a block long, so forget it. You can’t find a private bush or hope to drop your knickers real quick and have a pee without anyone seeing you, both ideas are absolutely impossible. There are always people around no matter what square inch of land you find in the park. I had to go to like 110th street ( which I think is already Harlem) and ask the NYC Bus Department  if I could roller-blade in and use their bathroom. I was the only white cracker around for miles, but they let me. I personally never saw the black/white thing. I get along with anyone until they give me a good reason not to. After I used the bathroom, the bus drivers ( all black) were shootin’ the breeze with me, asking me to show them how to skate someday. I told them I can’t drive a bus, so we are even. We had a few laughs and I was off. Thinking the whole time how wierd it is that from almost one block to the next you go from million dollar apartments to Harlem, where it is obvious the people struggle for every dime they earn. I feel safe no matter where I go to, as the people can sense that I do not think I am better or worse then they are. It is all about how you carry yourself. Use your body language to let people know “he, it’s all good, let’s get along and forget this class/color bullshit!”.

Anyhow, after skating, I had a bit to eat at Dallas BBQ on 72nd street ( almost corner of Central Park West- near Dakota) and thought, why not let you know where my favorite places to eat are and maybe some favorite places to go etc, in the city. If you knew HOW fucking picky I am in restaraunts, you would know that if I suggest a place, it IS GOOD. I am no diva, but I can cook really well and if I go out to eat, it had better be much better than what I can cook or at least have perfect service. So, for food here we go:

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Dallas BBQ ( think they have 5 or 6 locations just in Manhattan alone but the one on 72nd street is REALLY clean and has amazing service probably because of the neighborhood it is in, they want to be ready for when Mike Tyson pops in again)

Dallas BBQ is rather inexpenisve AND gives you huge portions, like this obnoxious thing they call the ONION LOAF:

Can you see how BIg this thing is?  

I had to whip out my camera and take photos, prompting everyone around to laugh their asses off. I wondered how many calories are in that heap of onions and fat. It could feed a small country, it is about a foot tall! Anyways, they have BBQ ribs, chicken, baked potatoes, fries, corn bread, all that stuff and more ( I ate a salad and some of that Onion Mountain and was so full, I had to take my BBQ home and I just ate it, it was AWESOME). So, if you want down home cookin’ in the city and don’t want to spend a fortune ( or dress up) go to Dallas BBQ. You can stuff yourself for under $10!

Moving right along.

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Yaffa Cafe: 97 St. Marks place between First ave and Ave A.

This place is open 24/7 everyday! You can get eggs, pancakes, salads, pasta, seafood, crab cakes, and incredible desserts. The best part about this place is the famous decor.It has paintings of Elvis, plastic friut everywhere, gilded statues and big tacky fountain out back for when the weather is fine. There is not one square inch of wall that isn’t decorated, so you will always have something to chat about. The prices are great! Again, you can have a meal, dessert and drink for under $15. Love it!

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Sala: 344 Bowery at Great Jones street 1-212-979-6606 ( you may have to reserve a table on weekends).

This place is a bit pricey, average main course is about $17 ( not including drinks and tip!). I love it because it is an extremely romantic place, huge wooden doors that make you think you are entering a castle and it is lit up by candles everywhere. It is a Spanish restaraunt that has a breath taking wine list.Bread topped with garlicky saute’et mushrooms are just one of the many tasty tapas you can order. They have a downstairs lounge that has an almost Moorish setting of bead-encrusted blue tiled walls and most of the week they have a cool DJ there to entertain while you sip gorgeous wine. Anyone looks good here in the lighting and even the tables are covered in colored tiles that make up for the perfect setting for a date. Yummy, gorgeous, but expensive. Expect to pay around $65 for two people (or more if you drink a lot). Very polite service but tell them right away, you DON’T do tap water. ( I read that each glass of water in NYC has been in and out of at least 9 different people by the time you drink it! EW!)

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44&X :  It is called 44 times ten because it is on 44th street and 10th ave! Check it out their web site 

I go to this place the most. I LOVE it. It is really right on the corner of 44th and 10th, and it is all glass, so you have a cool view of Hells Kitchen while you eat. In other words, there isn’t a bad seat in the place! All of the waiters ( 99% of them are gorgeous gay men) have on t-shirts that say “Heaven” on the front, and “In HELL” on the back. I have brought many stars here to eat and their managers too. They all love it. The menu is so bizarre, you can get anything here, buttermilk fried chicken with waffles and grits, or beef filet slathered with a sweet tomatoe jam and served with mashed potatoes mixed with butter beans or grilled short ribs over polenta. ( I only eat chicken as far as meat is concerned) . The salads are creative and desserts to die for. The wine is the best here I have ever tasted and the all white HUGE dining room, they always have cool music playing and there are too many waiters, so you never have to wait for anything! The menu  has an Aisian and Southwestern mix to it, so everyone will be happy here it is AMAZING! Again, it is a bit pricey, so only go there with someone who wants to invite you to dinner (hee hee). I am getting hungry now just writting about the place! It is only open Mon-Wed 5:30pm-midnight; Thursday and Friday5:30pm to 12:30am;Sat and Sun 11:30am to 3pm then again from 5:30pm to Midnight. Enjoy!

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Cafeteria: 119 Seventh ave ( in Chelsea) tel: 212 -414-1717  ( it is always packed, so you might have to call if you want a table).

This place is packed because Sex and the City has filmed there a few times and the food is good! It is not a place to go if you are a hetro female and want to pick up a hetro men. No no no. This is the gay area of Manhattan, so you won’t even have to make yourself gorgeous to go out to eat if you are a hetro gal ( which is a good thing). It is pretty loud and busy, lots of action. The menu is intersting ( the have green eggs and ham, like from the cat and the hat story, but they use pesto to make them green). Gorgeous salads and healthy foods. It doesn’t take long to eat here, the waitresses are lingering around like voltures in hopes you are finally finished and will get the hell out of there so they can seat the next paying customer, so you can’t linger here like you do in Starbucks. But it is thrilling, tasty and not that expensive.

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By now you must be thinking, god, is that all you do is eat? Well, I do go out sometime to have a drink, but usually only to do karaoke. If you don’t know the name of my favorite karaoke places by now, why not? Find out what bar/club is having karaoke in NYC and the surrounding burrows buy clicking here .

 Lucky Chengs is on 1st street and 1st ave ( almost on the corner) this is the now famous karaoke/transvestite chinese restaraunt/karoake club/bar that Britney Spears went to last week and was almost beat up by a jealous girl from the audience. Britney was apparently judging the boxers or brief contest and got a bit to touchy-feely with one of the male contestants.Anyhow, Lucky Cheng is exciting and a good laugh, but the transvestite karaoke dj will sabotage your song if you are a straight, good looking woman ( hence, competition) and this is a fact. The song list is SHIT and you can’t bring your own.

There are always men dressed as women and women dressed as men, and men who used to be women and vice versa fighting over the mirror in the “ladies” room. I think it is dirty and over-rated, but what the hell, check it out.

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Other clubs that are fun, that have nothing to do with karaoke are: Niagra ,CBGBS ( both in lower east villiage) which both have a punk aroma to them, and Niagra used to be one of Joey Ramones hang outs. Also, Black and White ( think it is on 10th street between 2nd and 3rd ave) extremely cool music and on Sundays they have open mic for poets and story tellers. Free entrance.

If you are an ass kissing VIP follower, try to get into Bungolow 8 which is where all the big wigs hang out and go to see and to be seen/photographed. I have been there and almost got ill from all the brown-nosing I saw.

Anyhow, I may think of more later, but have to get my broken ass down to the Chiropractor and have him crack my bones.

Lovin this weather-

“Good day sunshine!” Beatles

Love

Dr. Dot

ps. Naturally, if you are in the mood for the best massage in the world, I or one of my assistants can give you a rub down while you visit the city 😉

Normally I tell the women who call me for relationship help, that I think men are a lot like dogs(don’t chase them, give them freedom, etc.) but lately, I have been thinking about it and found that men have alot  in common with cats.

1) If you are in a room with a cat and you close the door, the cat will immediately want OUT. But if you open the door and sit back down, the cat will want to stay in the room with you and cuddle. They just want to know the door is open and they can leave if they want. (This is why marriage is a bad idea).

2)If your cat is really hungry, notice how they brown-nose and purrrr, wrap their tails around your legs while you open the can of food. They are all lovey dovey. They won’t let you out of their site! However, after you feed them, they want nothing to do with you. They find a nice warm spot and clean themselves and carry on about their furry lives. Even if you try to pet them after they ate, they act like “talk to the furry PAW!” and “as IF!” and scurry away, UNTIL they get hungry again, then it starts all over again. What to do about it? Keep them a bit hungry all the time and give them freedom, just keep really busy yourself.

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It is GORGEOUS out here in NYC, sunny, breezy, no clouds, everyone is smiling away. Paradise.I will go rollerblade and work off that Berlin ice cream situation.

Lovin’ life

Dr. Dot 

April 15, 2001 

“Joey Ramone, lead singer of legendary punk band the Ramones, passed away Sunday at the age of 49.

The towering frontman, born Jeffrey Hyman, did not respond to treatment for lymphatic cancer, a disease that attacks the body’s ability to fight infection. U2’s “In a Little While” was playing in his room at New York-Presbyterian Hospital when he died at 2:40 p.m.”  Sad, sad day.

Hope Joey is up there in Rock and Roll heaven having a good time, and knowing that he is still loved down here.

Love you Joey

Dot

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“If you don’t register, you can’t vote and if you don’t vote, democracy doesn’t work.”- Frank Zappa

Register to Vote Today

Dear Dr. Dot, Are you and your friends and family registered to vote? As a member of the Union of Concerned Scientists activist network, we know you care about the democratic process and want to make sure that your voice is heard. Generally, only about 50 percent of eligible voters actually cast a ballot. Here are two easy things you can do to improve these numbers:  1. Register Today with easy online tools http://www.registrationbyworkingassets.com/UCSUSA 2. Spread the Word If you are already registered there is still more you can do. Send the following letter to your friends, family, and coworkers to encourage them to register to vote. Copy and paste the text into a new email and send it to your contacts. Dear [recipients name], More than 200 million Americans are eligible to vote in state and national elections, yet barely half voted in the 2000 presidential election. As that election demonstrated, every vote counts. It is time that we had a real increase in participation in this process. Register today and encourage your other friends as well.  Thanks to the web, it is now easier than ever.  Just click on this link and fill out the online form, http://www.registrationbyworkingassets.com/UCSUSA Sincerely, Dr. Dot So I am home now ( don’t know why the letters are so huge) but as predictied, it was the flight from HELL. From my Berlin house door, to my NYC house door, it took all in all 18 hours! I am exhausted. Please think of Joey for at least one minute today and smile. And, if you haven’t registered to vote yet and you CAN vote here, please feel free to do so above, it’s easy and we need some good folks in the White House if you get my drift. overly tired, Dot

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Tuesday, April 13th

So, after 3 weeks of watching ALL of the Sex and the City reruns ( I have every season on DVD) and many pints of haagen-daas, I am leaving tomorrow, back to NYC.

Jasmine and I have had MUCH quatlity time together, hey, we are best buddies! I have to get my ass home and get the career ball rolling again. Hard to live two lives, I tell you that.

Today Jasmine looked at me and said “pk, it’s official, we are Sex and the City JUNKIES!”. Some one call the cops. But seriously, there is nothing better to watch ( apart from my Simpsons dvds- we got ’em all).

I have rented several dvd movies here too. Just saw the ‘Italian Job’, not bad. Saw a Russle Crowe film last night ( Command -something or other) it was supposively nominated for 10 Oscars. It was like Braveheart but on a friggin boat. Jasmine picked out “Wicked” starring Julia Stiles (absolute CRAP), then I saw “Invisible Circles” with Cameron Diaz ( annoying drug/suicide flick). Then the one where Matt Damon is stuck together with Greg ( guy from As good as it gets)- that was good for a laugh or two, but not more. Eva Mendes has officially joined the “Bimbo” league with this film.

Kill Bill was extremely cool except for two things: 1) It never shows or explains WHY the fuck they are chasing Uma Thurman or want to kill her!  2) Dumb ending (“does she know her kid is still alive”) and that’s it? They just leave you hanging ( probably to prepare for part 2. But I have to say, Uma KICKS ass! And of course, you see the typical foot fettish escapades of the Director ( Quentin Tarrantino-spelling?) He is crazy about womens feet, and reminds you in every flick he does.

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next day ( Wednesday)

Now I am in the airport in Zurich, Switzerland, using the cheesy computer. I have to keep tossing coins into it out of fear it will shut down in the middle of my blog.

I only had a 4 hour layover here! I ate at a gorgeous Thia restaruant and bought hand made pralines.The Swiss may be boring, but they are clean, organised and take their food very seriously. You could eat off the friggin floor here it is so clean!!

I am just rambling on here. I will add more photos to the blog when I get home and settled. I will need a couple days of sleep after this.

Hope the plane doesn’t crash.Not a fan of flying. Germs galore, dry diesel smelling-air, having to SIT STILL is the hard part. I drive everyone on the plane mental as I am constantly getting up and strolling around, using the bathroom and stretching my limbs all over the place. I go crazy on planes. I should just take some sleeping pills and conk out, but I am afraid I would get run over by one of those vicious food/drink carts. I also loathe sitting next to 1)HUGE people who smell 2)chatty and or moody babies ( actually, don’t want to sit next to any babies) 3) Chatty people who talk about their niece/nephew  for hours and hours 4) Males who try to convince me to join the mile high club. I once scammed into buisness class. Try it; just make sure you are last to board, then scan any empty seats in buisness class, find one that it similar to your seat number, for example; if your seat is really 43, pick 13 in buisness class and IF they call you out on it, say “sorry!!! I don’t have my contacts in, I could have sworn that was a 13” and be very apologetic and crawl back to Coach class where everyone will scathe you with their eye rolling looks. But it usually works. They are NOT about to question eveyone in buis class as to who belongs where. Just a friendly tip 😉

Gotta get my butt on the plane,

catch you later

Dr. Dot

http://i.flowgo.com/greetings/rapeasterbunny/rapeasterbunny.swf

Happy Easter! Click that link above for a good laugh (sent to me by my good pal Bjoern)

oh, make sure your speakes are on to get full effect.

Dr. Dot

ps. This is in the German paper, the BZ ( Berliner Zeitung) today, Easter Sunday.

http://bz.berlin1.de/aktuell/news/040411/sting.html 

a tiny article about the Dr. visit to Berlin 😉

An urban youth was asked to do a simple homework
assignment,

Befuddled by the whole school thing, he was given a                                             
set of
vocabulary words to use in sentences. Here’s what he
handed in:

1.  HONOR ROLL – We was playin’ poker on the stoop the
other
day, and man, I was HONOROLL.

2.  PLANET – I got me some seed to grow weed, so I
PLANET in
the backyard.

3.  DISMAY – I went for a blood test, the doctor
pulled out a
big needle. He said, “DISMAY hurt a little.”

4.  OMELETTE – Every time I start a new job, OMELETTE
go after
a week.

5.  STAIRWAY – When me and my homies get high, we
STAIRWAY into
space.

6.  MOBILE – I went to buy crack, I was short on cash,
my man
said, “Gimme one MOBILE.”

7.  DEFENSE – I ran from the cops, and hopped DEFENSE
and got
away.

8.  AFRO – I got so mad at my bitch, AFRO a lamp at
her.

9.  AFTERMATH – I like to be high in school, so
AFTERMATH I go
to the field and smoke weed.

10.  LOCKET – I slam the door so hard, I LOCKET.

11.  DOMINEERING – My girly’s birthday was yesterday,
I got her
a DOMINEERING.

12.  KENYA – I needed change fo the subway, so I axe a
stranger
KENYA spare some change.

13.  DERANGE – DERANGE is where da deer and antelope
play.

14.  DATA – At my basketball game, I scored thirty
points. My
coach said, “DATA boy!”

15.  COPULATE – I called 911 and an hour later when
they show
up, I said, “COPULATE!”

16.  FASCINATE – My girly’s boobies are so big. Her
shirt has
ten buttons, she can only FASCINATE.

17.  BEWARE – I axed the man at the unemployment
office, “Is
this BEWARE I get a job?”

18.  DIMENSION – I be tall, dark, handsome… and not
DIMENSION
hung like a horse.

19.  COATROOM – The judge said, “One more outburst
like that,
and you’ll be thrown out the COATROOM.”

20.  DECIDE – I like Vonda and Yolanda, but I like to
have a
couple of womens on DECIDE.                  

Ladies, be sure to keep your meat curtains tucked in, that’s too much information for us- k?

Dr.