Dr. Dot's Blog

           

This GORGEOUS creature above left is SPICE, she is from Greek decent 🙂  and my all time favorite animal. I got her in 1998. She is so peaceful and calm, so polite how she takes the leaves gently from your hand and she even comes to me (as quickly as she can) when I call her name!

She has huge eyes,which you can’t see, sadly, in these photos. The turtle tattoo I got on my ankle was drawn from a photo of Spice. (I am having it covered with a flower as no one can tell it is a turtle and I am tired of explaining it is Spice from a front view).

The second photo is Spice on the left and SUGAR on the right. I got Sugar a few months before Spice. No one can tell if Sugar is male or female yet! I think she is a girl, as she hisses and acts bitchy. She always looks grumpy and if she could say “talk to the hand” she would. Sugar is of Afganistan decent, the tiny little Arab!

 I adore them SO MUCH. They are the ONLY things in the world that can calm me down. Watching them eat and walk around makes me relax. I wish I could have them with me all the time, but it wouldn’t be possible or fair. The breeder I bought them from , I call him, Mr. Turtle, watches them for me until I settle down. He lives in Berlin in a HUGE house and has a giant Turtle farm. He has over 70 turtles and does sell them, but he makes you sign papers and they cost A LOT. He is a BIG turlte fan and doesn’t just breed them to make money. He is a real estate broker and is rolling in dough, he just does the turtle thing as a hobby.

He has had some of his turtles for 35 years! They live to be over 100 years old so even if I pick my babies up in 5 years, it’s cool. I visit them most every time I go to Berlin and he sends me photos of them. They are an endangered animals so you can’t just drag them around with you from country to country. I miss my babies 
    
  

  I had another one, Pepper, who recently passed away. He was given to me a couple years ago, a Polish turtle. Mr. Turtle told me he died of HERPES! I was like “what? Did he have unsafe sex or what? How does a turtle get herpes!?” Apparently, it is a virus that strikes animals too, not through sex though and Pepper passed away. RIP Pepper 🙁  
  

   
  

  

 My massage assistants are all smiles lately. I have sent them to massage Sting and sometimes to massages Eric Claptons band too. Getting paid to rub someone as handsome as Sting seems almost unfair. They are in disbelief. How can work be so dam fun?

 

Yesterday, I met up with Felicia (who is 5 years older than me but used to babysit me when I was 5 in Ellington)  and my half sister Shannon (we found out in 1994 we have the same biological Father named Salvatore Giacomini- long story)  in Vernon, CT and we all piled frantically into Felicia’s monster of a SUV (that means BIG gas guzzling jeep for those of you who aren’t from the US) and sped off to Mohegan Sun where Sting was awaiting my massage. Felicia was coming along with her table to rub down the rest of the band, who sometimes don’t get a massage cause Sting is bogarting the massage therapist.

 

Shannon came along, well, to look sweet and parade around in a white Dr. Dot T-shirt and have fun. This was her second concert in her life so far, first one being Tom Petty (nice choice!) a few years ago.

 

Privately, I am usually 30 minutes late. When it comes to business, I am on time. This time, I beat Sting to the venue. Due to heavy rain, his private plane had to circle around for an hour before landing! Must have been frustrating as he only flew from Manhattan to CT.

 

Anyhow, everyone was still in a great mood even though there was a delay. Sting and the band went directly to the stage to do the sound check. Us gals sat front and center for the sound check and it was mind blowing. For me, the sound check is always better than the show; you get to see the real stuff! William (scroll back a few days if you don’t know who William is by now) comes on stage during a song and puts Stings coffee down on a monitor for him. Kipper, the keyboardist does most of the singing during sound check, I assume it is to let Sting save his voice for the show. Kipper actually sounds like Sting when he sings anyways. He has produced Stings last two albums, the guy is multi talented.

Above: William on stage during sound check chatting with Dominic.That is Kipper at the right.

 

 

Dominic nodded and smiled when he saw me sitting there with the girls, then Sting saw me and gave me a friendly grin. My sister and Felicia were so ecstatic while all this was going on. When the music stopped, Dominic yelled, “Dot, I owe you money!” from the stage.

Let us remember this as the FIRST (and probably last) time a rock musician 1) Remembers he owes you money 2) Admits he owes you money 3) PAYS you the money he owes you without being hounded or threatened!

 

I actually could NOT believe my ears. What a sweet heart! I massaged him last week (as you read) and he was short $40 (hey, most rock stars don’t even carry cash on them at all) so he said he would pay me next time he saw me. A man who keeps his word. Nice one!

 

He jumped off the stage and came up to me with a $50 bill and just said, “Keep the change Dot.” He is so cool; wearing white leather Birkenstock open-toed sandals everywhere he goes. He is so relaxed and friendly.  

Above: Shannon and Felicia during sound check. At right, Sting during sound check.

 

The girls were glued to Rhani when they met him (Stings percussionist). They both find him erotic and sexy and cute and all that. I massaged Sting for almost 2 hours and at the same time Felicia was in another room massaging Dominic and Kipper, then the soundman, Jim.

Shannon was lured into the bands dressing room and was sipping $300 bottle champagne with them. She is so innocent and sweet (rated G version of me) and the lads were pleased to meet her.

Her eyes were so wide open and somehow like a deer caught in headlights the whole night, like “WOW! I am backstage at Sting and talking to Sting!” She didn’t talk much, just looked very happy. I introduced her to Sting after his massage and she was blushing her ass off.  

My sister Shannon, blushing with Sir Sting

I had things to do and left her there chatting with him, she was glowing all night and talking about how polite and friendly he is and “the accent” got to her. Most of the management and crew have British accents; it is heaven to hear the banter backstage.

While Felicia was still massaging, Shannon and I sat in our seats (8th row center from the stage) and watched Annie Lennox do her stuff. She ROCKED! Her voice is like an angel and she moves like a cat, she is confident, cool, unique, fucking AMAZING. You know me, attention span like a fruit fly who drank too much coffee, but I sat there with my mouth wide open and watched this woman show how it is supposed to be done.

 

I could write a whole blog about how impressed I was with her, but I will spare you. She is fit, strong and still gorgeous. He voice blows Mariah Carey off the map. After her one-hour show, I asked Sting to introduce me to her, so he did and he told her “Dot has been massaging me for years Annie, she is the best!” What an intro! Annie’s accent is SO charming (born in Aberdeen, Scotland). Amazing that you can’t hear any of her accent when she sings, but when she speaks, it is a heavy accent (I get Goosebumps listening to her talk).

 

I told her in every way possible (without sounding obsessed) how much I enjoyed her performance and that I hope to massage her soon. She told her assistant to take my number down, so cross your fingers for me will ya? 

 

  Annie and I   ^

 

 “There are two kinds of artists left: those who endorse Pepsi and those who simply won’t.”
-Annie Lennox

 

Sting, Rhani and Annie chat before show ^

 

Ok, prepare for one of the dumbest things ever said backstage. I was all aglow, near the part of the backstage where the band goes out onto the stage, observing the ritual they do before they walk out there, be it praying, shaking their hands in the air, holding hands or what have you.

Annie and Sting were chatting, all the back up singers were chatting, the band was ready to walk out there, as Sting and Annie do a song together and everyone was excited. Felicia walks up to me and I whispered, “Oh GOD, I just met Annie Lennox, I am so fucking excited, she is so amazing, look at her!” Felicia looks over and says to me “Hey, she looks just like the singer of the Eurythmics!” . The look I gave her was priceless. I said “Do NOT say that again, that IS her!” Fucking HELL! I thank you LORD that Annie, or anyone else, didn’t heard that blurt out of musical ignorance. Thank you LORD.

 

Sting and my massage assistant Felicia ^

 

But then again, Felicia shouldn’t know any of her music; she is a HARD CORE Bon Jovi fanatic. End of Story.

 

We then watched half of Stings show and said good-bye to William and were on our way before the traffic jam. The ladies were more than grateful and were bouncing off the walls on the way back to Vernon. I even got my pal Laurie an autographed Sting photo for her living room wall. It is so rewarding keeping the faith and lending a hand when it can make someone so happy.

 

Sting rips up the stage ^  My camera can not make such great photos from a distance.

 

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Sting: “If I ever lose my faith in you” :

 

 

You could say I lost my faith in science and progress
You could say I lost my belief in the holy church
You could say I lost my sense of direction
You could say all of this and worse but

If I ever lose my faith in you
There’d be nothing left for me to do

Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world
You could say I lost my faith in the people on TV
You could say I’d lost my belief in our politicians
They all seemed like game show hosts to me

If I ever lose my faith in you
There’d be nothing left for me to do

I could be lost inside their lies without a trace
But every time I close my eyes I see your face

I never saw no miracle of science
That didn’t go from a blessing to a curse
I never saw no military solution
That didn’t always end up as something worse but
Let me say this first

If I ever lose my faith in you
There’d be nothing left for me to do

 

 

Dr.

 

 

 

Dear Dr. Dot, I am going to get a massage next week, my first ever. How should I prepare? What do I wear? What happens if I get a stiffy during the massage? Frank M., East Rutherford, NJ Dear Frank, Always shower before you head to your massage appointment. If you can’t, buy some baby wipes and wipe down the most offensive areas. You can relax knowing you aren’t fuming, and the therapist won’t be scorning you in their mind the whole time. Don’t eat a big meal directly before the rub down. You will feel like you are laying on a rock and your belly will be making embarrassing noises if you do.  Since it is your dime, you should wear whatever you want during the massage. Most therapists have seen it all and won’t be bothered either way. Boxers will hold down your stiffy if you get excited, but you can also hold “him” down by asking the therapist to give you extra towels to drape around your pelvis area (tell them you get cold easily). NOTE: Don’t mention your stiff if you get one. It is just one of those things that happens, breath deep and let it go.  Remove all jewelry and your watch. Your hair will look like hell after, so if you have somewhere nice to go after, warn them to avoid your whole head. If you don’t have them do your scalp, it is worth looking like Don King afterwards.  Don’t talk during your massage, unless you need to ask for more or less pressure or inform the therapist about an injury. Talking is counterproductive and makes the time fly very fast. It also distracts the therapist and you won’t get the best results if they have to keep chatting to you. If they won’t shut up, do find the courage to say “I would prefer to enjoy this massage in silence”.  It is your time and money and you should speak up if something is bothering you (you want music, or silence; the room is too cold/hot). The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Ok, time to explain the photos above. On the left, Johnny K.  who looks EXACTLY like Marky Mark (Mark Wahlberg) me, and Jonesy. They are both from Boston and we met a couple weeks ago in Iggys (karaoke bar in NYC) and they were admiring my Led Zepp tunes and I was covered in serious goose bumps when Jonesy belted out “Me and Mrs. Jones“. Holy Shit he can sing. He had the girls all hot and sweaty, screaming and feeling faint. Amazing that tiny white cracker can sing like a big black man. And he performs the song, you know, gets into it, acting it out which is the whipped cream on the cake. Hate it when folks just stand there and sing, you gotta FEEL the song. Check out Jonesy’s web site . He does stand up comedy and in my opinion will make it BIG soon. He is a force heading towards the big screen- mark my words. Then the other photo is of my good pal Seth (was the singer of Mensch, now an actor) me and again, Jonesy. When these guys do karaoke, it is a spectacle; they take over the joint and can rap, rock and sing a love song that brings tears to the ladies eyes. It is not only raining men at that point, it’s raining talented men. I heard there is a big photo of Sting and I in the Hartford Courant today, I hope 7/11 has a copy left for me 🙁

I find the obsession with feet rather interesting. It is harmless but odd. My web master, Nobbi took THIS photo of my feet last time I was in Berlin.

In my experience, if a girl is well grommed in the feet area, she is also well groomed in the important areas and vice versa.Take care of those dogs ladies.

Vincent (Starry, Starry Night) Lyrics

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and GRAY,
Look out on a summer’s day ,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul,
Shadows on the hills ,
Sketch the trees and daffodils ,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In COLORS on the snowy linen land,

Now I understand ,
What you tried to say to me ,
And how you suffered for your sanity ,
And how you tried to set them free ,
They would not listen ,
They did not know how ,
Perhaps they’ll listen now ,

Starry, starry night ,
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze ,
Swirling clouds and violet haze ,
Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue ,
COLORS changing hue ,
Morning fields of amber grain ,
Weathered faces lined in pain ,
Are soothed beneath the artists’ loving hand,

Now I understand ,
What you tried to say to me,
And how you suffered for your sanity,
And how you tried to set them free ,
They would not listen ,
They did not know how ,
Perhaps they’ll listen now ,

For they could not love you ,
But still your love was true ,
And when no hope was left inside ,
On that starry, starry night ,
You took your life as lovers often do ,
But I could have told you Vincent ,
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you ,

*Starry starry night,
Portraits hung in empty halls,
Frameless heads on nameless walls,
With eyes that watch the world and can’t forget.*
Like the strangers that you’ve met ,
The ragged men in ragged clothes ,
The silver thorn of bloody rose ,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow ,

Now I think I know ,
What you tried to say to me ,
And how you suffered for your sanity ,
And how you tried to set them free ,
They would not listen ,
They’re not listening still ,
Perhaps they never will…,

 

So, freezing my breast off in the COLD Berliner sun was in vain, they in fact could have made me into a cartoon without me even being there, or not?

I am grateful, don’t get me wrong, for my second cover of the EXBERLINER magazine, I just like to complain, especially at 6:30 am when there is no sex or chocolate to be had.You have so been there so don’t even try it.

My assistant Stephanie and Joy are so dam happy that they were sent to massage Sir Sting when I couldn’t be there; they are rantin’ and ravin’ about his fit figure. We love Sting.

Gotta sleep

xx Dottie 

On my recent trip to Berlin, I tested out a Massage Therapist named Gunda. She has been eager to join our team for quite some time now. Gunda came to me and gave me a 2 hour massage and showed me all of her amazing credentials. She is German but lived in Australia for a couple years, so her English is very good. She is a tough girl with a rockin’ sense of humor, perfect for our team.

Gunda is also punctual and clean, and EXTREMELY organized. I thought she MUST be a Virgo, but she isn’t. If you or your artist/entourage are heading to Berlin, let me know and I will send her your way. Her photo is in the body of this email.

 Once again, thank you for your time,

Dr. Dot

                           

My name is Gunda    born on 13th april 1978 in northern Germany. Like Doctor Dot I started to give massage as a kid, walking on my mothers back. As I moved to Berlin, age 20, I began to study natural medicine. I really got into massage then. Learning Shiatzu, Tui Na, swedish massage and later on Hawaiian LomiLomi.

   Reading a lot about oriental philosophies I got interested in Martial Arts. I do Aikido, which is a good way to learn more about your body and natural movement. In 2003 I opened up a massage institute with a female colleague. I give massage in a premium fitness club and assist my teacher in training Tui Na massage. I am doing qualifications to become a health practioner(GPA)this year.

   When a friend told me about Doctor Dot I looked up her website and contacted her straight away. Just a couple of days later I got an answer and we made an appointment. I gave her a two hour massage and it impressed her very much. I am now under contract with Dr. Dot. We got on very well and she said she likes my style. So here I am, part of the Doctor Dot Team!

I drove like wild fire to Camden (shit hole) NJ to get to Sir Sting on time. I made it in two hours flat and I was a minute early. Gorgeous weather and lots of smiles surrounded the Tweeter Center, which must be directly on the border of Philly, PA and Camden, NJ.

This was the first show of the summer tour in which –     

–  Annie Lennox would be opening for Sting and somewhere during the show they do one or two songs together. I massaged Sting for almost 2 hours before the show. He is in GREAT spirits, calm, happy and incredibly healthy looking. He even feels healthy. His hair is getting long he looks amazing. He said that “Trudie loved you” to me, which is always nice to hear.

My all time favorite Tour Manager, hands down, William Francis was in good spirits too,

even carried my super heavy massage table for me  

William has the sharpest sense of humor going, he makes me laugh with his cheeky comments

 and British sense of humor, which makes my work heaven on earth. Most wouldn’t understand me when I say, that it is not only the artist/stars that make my job so fun, but it is the people like William and Alan Dunn (Stones) etc etc, that are like family for me. Sure, we have tiny fights like everyone does, but it only strengthens the bond. You DO NOT want to make William mad, he is a fire cracker, but so I am, it is somehow funny if we have a “word”. Also, I have something in common with the people who dedicate their lives to the music biz, they are always on the road, living out of suitcases, will drop everything for the artist and the love of music, you have to love music in order dedicate yourself properly. It’s the Rock and Roll family. I feel at home backstage, like it’s my habitat or something! I love how it operates so smoothly and all (and the catering or course).

It has taken me years to learn the vibe of backstage, to know how to stay out of the way, or be there exactly when needed. You have to know the rules and respect the scene. You have to know when is the time to ask for an autograph and when not to even think about it. Call it Backstage Awareness if you will. I massaged Stings Percussionist after I massaged Sting, his name is Rhani Krija.  He is from Morocco, but was raised in France and went to school for a long time in Germany. So we spoke German together the whole time, in fact, as soon as he found out I spoke German, he wouldn’t speak English anymore. Very strong dude, and super cool. Then after a while, the one and only Dominic Miller, Stings guitarist who gets to open the show with a show of his own, broke out his guitar and started warming up  

 Dominic is charming, deep, intelligent and very attractive. Somehow he reminds me of how Mick Jagger used to look in the Seventies. Hot.

“Dominic Miller was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina in 1960. He spent his boyhood in Argentina, moving to Racine, Wisconsin in 1970. He started to learn guitar at the age of 15, and later studied with Sabastio Tapajos and at London’s Guildhall School of Music where his contemporaries included violinist Nigel Kennedy and Mike Lindup of Level 42. He met producer Hugh Padgham in 1989, which led to him playing on Phil Collins’ But Seriously album and then Sting’s The Soul Cages album in 1991. Dominic has since worked with Sting on every album and tour since 1991, and Sting describes him as being “my right hand and my left hand.”

I will massage Dominic on Wednesday and I do hope I get to massage Annie someday soon, I ADORE that woman, but don’t we all?

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)                                          
Annie Lennox

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody’s looking for something.

Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.

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Even after 6 hours of driving and 3 hours of massage, I was still on the ball. Eric Clapton’s manager wanted a massage, so I went to his rescue. I have known Mick for years. He is wicked funny and should have been in Monty Pythons Flying circus, he looks and acts the part. He said Eric is in top form and in a SUPER good mood AND is playing better than he ever has. So, if you are on your way to one of the Clapton shows, you are sure to be pleased. He told me that Billy Preston will be joining the band up in Boston, that will be DYNAMITE!

In NYC, it is raining music, and I say, let it rain, let it rain.

“The rain is falling through the mist of sorrow that surrounded me.
The sun could never thaw away the the bliss that lays around me.

  Let it rain, let it rain,
  Let your love rain down on me.
  Let it rain, let it rain,
  Let it rain, rain, rain.

Her life was like a desert flower burning in the sun.
Until I found the way to love, it’s harder said than done.

  Chorus

Now I know the secret; there is nothing that I lack.
If I give my love to you, you’ll surely give it back.”  Eric Clapton

Dr. Dot

Last night I went out to eat with my ol’ pal Tim Carmon -check him out:

 

Keyboards player Tim was trained at the USA’s Duke Ellington School of Arts, and is also a drummer and vocalist.   He has performed live with, among many others, Babyface, Gladys Knight, Lalah Hathaway, Jon B., Shai and Wayman Tisdale, and acted as musical director for artist including Eric Benet, Kenny Lattimore, II D’Extreme and Something For The People.  On television he has backed many of the above-named artist as well as Mary J. Blige, Gerald Albright, Mavis Staples, Ron Isley and others.  Tim’s recording credits include playing on Peter Andre’s “Owe It All To You”, Vybe’s “Knock Me Off My Feet”, Gerald Albright’s “About Last Night”, Eric Benet’s “Smile”, II D’Extreme’s “You Can Have My Love” and the Solid Rock Christian Choir’s “Live in D.C.”

As a songwriter or producer Tim has worked on many recordings, including Something For The People’s “There I Go/ You Don’t Have To Be Alone”, nine songs on II D’Extreme’s From One Extreme to Another,  Lalah Hathaway’s remixed “Let Me Love You” and Beverly Crawford’s “If I Can Dream”.

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He brought a friend of his along, Vadim, a funny  Russian guy (with a Southern accent) who is currently on tour playing guitar for Earth, Wind and Fire. Knowing that I would be massaging musicians from two of the best bands in the world made my meal taste better. Vadim even plays with Chicago when the two bands play “If you leave me now” together. Imagine that, Earth, Wind and Fire playing with Chicago. Oh god, I would watch and dance to every song- no pee breaks! Tim is wicked funny and tried to beat me once at table soccer, but lost sadly- but then Eric gave me the ass-whoopin’ of my life and that humbled me. I am sure he (Eric) can beat anyone at that game.     Here is a photo I took of Tim a few years ago, he is smiling because we hadn’t started yet.He thought he would win, tsk tsk. 🙂

Time for another rematch.

Tim has invited me out to LA to his studio to have me sing some tracks.I love to sing but could never tour like the rock stars do, it’s HELL! Different place everyday, never know where the good food is and freaks like me with a sleeping disorder, well, forgettaboutit.

I will go there and sing, record some tracks, but who the hell knows when.Tim says LA is great, but he will have to convince me, because from what I have seen of LA, it SUCKS. I hated it with a passion. Sure the weather is gorgeous and the palm trees too, but there is no culture and everyone is full of SHIT.”Who do you know!?” Is the first question people ask you. FUCK OFF! The men, even the straight ones, have groomed eye brows and wear make up, everyday. And of course, I have to quote my hero, Mr. Frank Zappa, as his opinion of LA hits the nail on the head, this is “Tinsel town Rebellion”

From madam wong’s to starwood
To the whiskey on the strip
You can hear the crashing, blasting strum
Of bands that come to be real hip
And get a record contract
From a talent scout some day
They’ll sell their ass, their cocks and balls
They’ll take the check ‘n’ walk away
If they’re lucky they’ll get famous
For a week or two perhaps
They’ll buy some ugly clothes to wear
And hope the business don’t collapse
Before some stupid magazine
Decides they’re really good
They’re a tinsel town rebellion band
From downtown hollywood

Tinsel town rebellion, tinsel town rebellion band
It’s a little bitty tinsel town rebellion
A tinsel town rebellion band

They used to play all kinds of stuff
And some of it was nice
Some of it was musical
But then they took some guy’s advice
To get a record deal, he said,
They would have to be more punk
Forget their chops and play real dumb
Or else they would be sunk
So off they go to s.i.r. to learn some stupid riffs
And practice all their poses
In between their powder sniffs

Chop a line now, snort it up now
And when they think they’ve got it
They launch a new career
Who gives a fuck if what they play
Is somewhat insincere

Tinsel town rebellion, tinsel town rebellion band
A tinsel town rebellion,
A tinsel town rebellion band
Did you know that in tinsel town the people down there
Think that substance is a bore
And if your new wave group looks good
They’ll hurry on back for more
Of leather groups and plastic groups
And groups that look real queer
The tinsel town aficionados
Come to see and not to hear
But then again this system works
As perfect as a dream
It works for all of those record company pricks
Who come to skim the cream
From the cesspools of excitement
Where jim morrison once stood
It’s the tinsel town rebellion
From downtown hollywood

Is everybody happy?
Oh never mind!
No problem!

---

And one more, his song FLAKES is also the fucking bomb, from the

” Sheik Yerbouti” album:

Flakes! flakes!
Flakes! flakes!
They don’t do no good
They never be workin’
When they oughta should
They waste your time
They’re wastin’ mine
California’s got the most of them
Boy, they got a host of them

Swear t’god they got the most
At every business on the coast
Swear t’god they got the most
At every business on the coast
They got the flakes

Flakes! flakes!

They can’t fix yer brakes
You ask ’em, “where’s my motor?”
“well, it was eaten by snakes…”
You can stab ‘n’ shoot ‘n’ spit
But they won’t be fixin’ it
They’re lyin’ an’ lazy
They can be drivin’ you crazy

Swear t’god they got the most
At every business on the coast
Swear t’god they got the most
At every business on the coast
Take it away, bob…

I asked as nice as i could
If my job would
Somehow be finished by friday
Well, them whole damn weekend
Came ‘n’ went, frankie
Wanna buy some mandies, bob?
‘n’ they didn’t do nothin’
But they charged me double for sunday

You know, no matter what you do,
They gonna cheat ‘n’ rob you
Then they’ll send you a bill
That’ll get your senses reelin’
And if you do not pay
They got computer collectors
That’ll get you so crazy
’til your head’ll go through th’ ceilin’
Yes it will!

I’m a moron, ‘n’ this is my wife
She’s frosting a cake
With a paper knife
All what we got here’s
American made
It’s a little bit cheesey,
But it’s nicely displayed
Well we don’t get excited when it
Crumbles ‘n’ breaks
We just get on the phone
And call up some flakes
They rush on over
‘n’ wreck it some more
‘n’ we are so dumb
They’re linin’ up at our door
Well, the toilet went crazy
Yersterday afternoon
The plumber he says
Never flush a tampoon!
This great information
Cost me half a week’s pay
And the toilet blew up
Later on the next day-ay-eee-ay
Blew up the next day
Woo-ooo

We are millions ‘n’ millions,
We’re coming to get you
We’re protected by unions
So don’t let it upset you
Can’t escape the conclusion
It’s probably god’s will
That civilization
Will grind to a standstill
And we are the people
Who will make it all happen
While yer children is sleepin’,
Yer puppy is crappin’
You might call us flakes
Or something else you might coin us
But we know you’re so greedy
That you’ll probably join us

We’re coming to get you, we’re coming to get you

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Tomorrow and Sunday I will be massaging Sting and his tour manager, William again, they are my most frequent customers at this point. They are also a blast to hang with, so it doesn’t feel like work. 

Obviously I am a music junkie, no way around it.

Gotta hit the sack

Dr.