Month: April 2007

The band 'the Zimmers' give the old folks a chance to prove you're never

too old to Rock and Roll  

 

x

 We need you to be "quicker on the draw" than the Bush Administration to prevent the senseless
 slaughter of Rocky Mountain wolves.

All you have to do is click — and you'll instantly send an Official Citizen Comment that
 opposes the Administration's plan to strip Greater Yellowstone's wolves of their federal
protection and leave them at the mercy of Wyoming and Idaho.

Already, state officials are circling, waiting for approval to kill hundreds of gray wolves
 in Yellowstone's wild country and central Idaho.

The governor of Idaho himself said, "I'm prepared to bid for that first ticket to shoot a wolf myself."

Appalled by this impending massacre, NRDC Members and online activists are fighting back — at their
 computer keyboards — and have submitted over 50,000 Official Citizen Comments in just 2 days!

But we need to barrage the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service with even more comments — our goal is
200,000 — and that's why we need you to submit your Official Citizen Comment RIGHT NOW.

With only weeks to go before the public comment period ends on May 9, we need every NRDC Member
 and online activist to take action on the wolf's behalf.

The comeback of the gray wolf from the brink of extinction in Greater Yellowstone is one of our
 country's greatest environmental success stories. Don't let the Bush Administration destroy
that success!

Click here now before the hunters are allowed to pull the trigger.

* Ask me anything and don't be shy, I won't use your real name 😉

 

Q

I’m the mother of 2 young women. I never tell them when

or with whom to have sex, simply because I know I can't control this, and they will

do what they want or need to do. I want them to be good people who enjoy sex

and every other part of their lives. I have always been open with them when they have asked

any questions about sex and relationships. So, between me, their friends, the pop

culture and the internet, I know they have any info they need about sex and relationships

-short of the hindsight gained by good and bad experiences of their own. I am most fearful

though that my opinion about something going on in the life of my 20 year old, is the wrong

one for a mother to have. Nonetheless, it is my opinion.

She is in love with a 44 year old married man.

They would probably be a fine couple. I have told her that it might be the best thing

to back off because she will ultimately not be able to feel good about being a wedge between

two married people. This woman (his wife) could be her, could be me, could be her friend.

And, would it ever be possible for her to be trusting of a person who has cheated on a wife

or someone he has made a commitment to?

I can't say that she's making a wrong decision, because I am not my daughter.

She was born with the maturity of a 21 year old, and this man (I've not ever met him.)

is a youthful 44 year old with the spirit of a 21 year old. He is not a player.

I've checked him out without his knowing so.

Are my Morals out of whack? Am I being too

"Non-judgmental”? I’ve told her all of the drawbacks of this situation but

I want to support her and I know of others enjoying age gap relationships, like Celine Dion,

Michael Douglas, Nicolas Cage, etc.

I have been married for 25 years and there isn’t any divorce in either of

our family histories. I am pretty sure that there has been cheating whether hidden or

accepted in those histories. I don't like cheating. It makes me sad just to hear of it.

Then there is Karma and another man or woman with a potentially shattered life.

Why am I not preaching to my daughter about "morals"? Tell me please, I can take it.

Momma Karma

< Homewrecker/ Husband snatcher? 

A.

Young girls love to see how much power their pussy has:

Could it lure another man away

from another woman? Could it break up a marriage? Can I make boys buy me things with it?

It's a big power thrill and an incredible aphrodisiac.

Flirting with and/or fucking a married person is like playing with fire. There are enough single

people around to seduce. The unhappily married person should have the balls to end their marriage

before starting another relationship on the side. I am against marriage in the first place; just

the pressure of being so tied down makes most want to stray at one point or another, so why fucking

pretend? Sure, being married makes it nice for the kids at school and gives people a tax break,

but it's an old fashioned tradition that ends in divorce more that 50% of the time.

If he did leave his wife for her, she would have a new title: "home wrecker" and most

of the time, when a man leaves his wife for his mistress, the mistress gets bored, as the challenge

is gone. Buy a copy of the book called 'The Rules for your daughter and leave it in her room.

It's not the greatest advice, certainly not as modern as mine but it will show her that she is in fact,

getting the short end of the stick. Don't be a friend; be a parent and tell her you don't approve.

Karma will prove to her that it's not a good idea to touch other women's men, as what goes around,

will in fact, come around.

 

Q.

Tell me why, why, why every single website that involves sex winds up (quickly)

with the guy getting a blow job?  I am straight as an arrow, but since I love

having my tits sucked long and hard, sometimes I would like to watch before my

boyfriend comes over to get me started.  I look for sites with strictly tit

sucking and find virtually nothing.  It says, "watch the blonde get her tits

sucked just before she goes down on the guys cock"?  Give me a break.  How about

something to get the girls going"?  Maybe I should write a sex story about it. 

I did that for a friend of mine and he said every time he reads that e-mail

again, he gets off.  It almost all of it is about having my tits hanging in his

face and him working them over.  Must work for some guys too!  Thanks.  Your

column is great!

Breasty Barb 

 Big, Small, famous, plastic, etc, breasts should never be ignored. 

^ Scarlett Johansen, we LOVE your breasts

A.

That's an easy question to answer. Most porn is made by men for men, so

tit sucking is just a tiny side order. They make it obvious what really

turns them on, marathon blow jobs, DP and all those sticky cum shots.

Perhaps this is a challenge for you, start producing some porn that will

turn women on and we can finally abolish that annoying belief that using

the tip of your tongue to flick the clit for a few seconds actually does

anything for us. Why not film your boyfriend grabbing, licking and sucking

your jugs for a good half hour and next time you want to rub one out,

you can just watch your personalized video and wank.

Q.

I have met lots of guys who don't care what the woman wants but I've

met a couple who ask me what I want does this mean the feelings run deeper or

they are still after that one thing?

I've also have heard that if a guy helps you out with your bra and clothes

he loves you. Is this true or does this just show that he is a master player?

Young and curious

< You can't blame them for trying

A.

Unless the man is flaming gay, he will want pussy. We are put on this earth to breed,

so naturally, they are after that "one thing". Their behavior is the important thing.

If they make you laugh, treat you well and you can feel that they love you, then they do.

Ignore the words; they can blind your judgment. You can't evaluate a man's love by things

like removing your knickers or asking how you like your oral, that's too general. Good men and players

alike will do such things. A man can say "I love you" a million times, but

if he is treating you like shit, what good are the mandatory verbal treats? It's his actions,

not his words that tell the truth.

Q.

My ex will NOT stop stalking me. He creates different email addresses and myspace accounts just

to torment and threaten me. All I did wrong was NOT want him anymore. It seems I have to pay

for that "mistake" the rest of my life. What is the best way to stop such a prick in his tracks?

Petrified Patty

 

A.

Print out all of his nasty messages; photocopy them several times, along with a picture of his face

attached to the stack of papers and bring them to his work/office/parents (whoever means the

most to him). Do the same with the emails, copy and paste them all into one long message and send

it to everyone you both know and in the subject line write "Isn't he a sweet heart?". If he keeps bothering

you, bring one of the "booklets" to the local police so they can keep it on file. Asking a 6 foot tall male friend

to visit him can't hurt either. Hammer time.

  

Q.

My husband and I have broken up a few times due to his inability to remain physically true. We are both European, so cheating usually isn't grounds for divorce (bad attitude is). After a 6 month break, we finally moved back in together and all is well except he won't make love to me. Recently we were driving in my car, phone rang and it was a woman who said she has been seeing my husband for the last 20 years and that he married me secretly so she wouldn't find out and that he was two timing me. I knew about this skank already and he promised me he would delete her number. I forced him to show me his cell phone. Her fucking number was still in there. I made him delete it right in front of me. I was calm, but cold to her on the phone but ripped his face off verbally.

He is seeing a therapist about his infidelity but I am wondering if you think a man like that can ever really change. He claims he wants to have a baby this year. I am lost.

Just a Woman in love

 

 

A.

Next time she calls, tell her "two timing? Oh honey, you got that all wrong. He is 4 timing and you

are just one of the holes he calls when he gets bored. Our relationship is an open one, so just take

a fucking number." Your apathetic attitude is your best weapon against her. Not sure he is worth all

the effort though. He seems to have a problem with integrity in general, not a good trait. Make a time

limit in your mind and if hasn't straightened up by then, you should cut your loses and move on.

European or not, bullshit is an international turn off.

 

Q.

I have a bit of a problem. My clitoris is very tiny, I mean REALLY tiny. Even

when I'm aroused it's still really small. This makes it pretty much impossible

for me to orgasm because my clit is so sensitive. In fact, the only way I can

orgasm is by masturbating. I do it by lying on my stomach with my hands flat

under my abdomen and grinding my clit up against my hands. I have to have

clothes on too, because it's too sensitive without it. This is very frustrating

for me and my husband because he doesn't know how to stimulate me because

every time he tries I have to make him stop,

 

So I was wondering, is there a way to make my clit bigger? I think this would

help me alot because the nerve endings in my clitoris wouldn't be all in one

itty bitty space, thus making it insensitive.

 

If there isn't a way, then what would you suggest I do? I've told him what I

like but he still can't do it, and orgasm by masturbation isn't so great

anyway because I feel like I'm not actually getting a good orgasm… they only

last about 5 seconds, if even.

Clitty Cat

  

 

A.

They have Clit/ Pump Cylinders out there you can buy, just like the penis enlargement vacuums. I think it's a bunch of bullshit; these tools may feel good and increase ones

confidence buy tricking people into thinking "My clit/cock is swollen, so it

must be bigger" but I doubt they work. It may be fun playing with them though. Try

 using your husband instead of your hand. Do exactly the same thing you do wank alone, but do it on top of him with lots of lube, if you have to, start out with your panties on, if that’s what you are used to. If that doesn't work, have him lick you, there is nothing softer

than a tongue for those hard to reach, sensitive spots.

I still have to do the"Lisa visits Berlin" blog. She left a few days ago, back home to Connecticut and I miss her already. We had a blast. Before she came, I made a tiny "Movie" of Berlin. It took for fucking AGES to make this thing and editing is hell, so know wonder people in the Movie biz rake in the cash. Anyhow, the video was 313 MB. Youtube only allows them to be 100MB, so I had to compress it and so the quality kinda suffered. However, I am taking the 313MB version and dividing it into 3 parts so if you want to see the better quality versions they will be on YOUTUBE soon (under Dr. Dot).
They won't have any narration though, just video with kick ass music. Anyhow, here is my "movie" hope you like it.

Oh, I was supposed to be going to London this month, but can't. I have to go to Monte Carlo first, then NYC. I am filming with RTL in Monte Carlo for the Grand Prix thingy. I will be massaging the moderator for the cameras and so on..Don't worry,  I won't be driving 🙂

THEN it's off to NYC, home sweet fucking home. I LOVE YOU NEW YORK! x

 

This is pretty funny…

Will Farrell's little clip called "The Landlord"

click  HERE   to see it… 

Q.
 
I totally love my wife, but the sex is FAILING…she'll let me do whatever I want,
most whenever I want, but she does nothing in return.  NOTHING.  It's miserable.
Like spankin' the monkey. Like a blow up doll.  We're both working hard and have a busy family.  
What should I do?  Is there no way out? Does this mean it’s time for an affair?
Divorce?
Fucking the Boring Golden Cage

Some men enjoy a blow up doll  ^

A.
On one hand, you have it better than most guys; at least she lets you "do
whatever you want, when ever you want", which is more than most married men get.
 But it is no fun having a passive partner. Mix things up a bit, hire a baby
sitter and bring her to a hotel, bring her lingerie shopping and fuck in the
 dressing room.  Ask her what would turn her on? It's a popular, but sad dilemma.
 The old challenge was to get the girl, now it’s keep her hot and horny. Massage,
 wine, hotels, porn, vacations, you really have to work at it to keep your busy
wife in the mood to be your sexy bitch under the sheets.

Q.
My name is Michelle and I am 12 years old.  I am not really sure what I am.  I
love men, but I think more about women sex, and all that shit.  I guess I wish
I had a boyfriend at school, but when I come home, (and at school sometimes) I
am all about women, and masturbating.  I was wondering if you could help me
with two things (by the way my parents don't know and I would like to keep it
that way)
1. What am I?  Lesbian, Bisexual, Bi-curious, Straight?
2. How can I make myself cum without my parents finding out?
I masturbate when I am in bed, on the toilet and in the shower.
Please help me figure this out, I feel I am a grown up woman in a little girl’s
body, I am ready to explore and want to be ready for when IT first happens.
Please don’t patronize me because of my age; I am very mature in every way.
Lolita
< Lolita (aka Jail Bait)
A.
Part of being 12 years old is discovering who and what you are, which
could change several times in your lifetime.
There is no need to label yourself, just do what you like and what feels
natural. Most young girls feel more comfortable experimenting with other
young girls as their bodies are so similar and it feels safe and comfortable.
It could be you end up a lesbian or it could be that you get bored of girls
and yearn for boys sooner or later, only time will tell and you have lots of it
so stop stressing about your genitals and concentrate on school or you won't
have a home to masturbate in once you leave school.
Ps. If your parents haven’t noticed that you are masturbating in the shower,
toilet and in bed, I sincerely doubt the will notice you having an orgasm.
Perhaps part of the reason you are giving yourself so much attention, is
because you are yearning for some unconditional love from them. Speak up;
 tell them you need a hug.

Q.
 I've been dating my boyfriend for five months now. It’s actually no longer
dating but a serious relationship. We have talked a lot about our relationship
and he told me that he can see a future with me, which I am very happy about
because he is an amazing guy and I really like him. So here is the
problem, we went drinking the other night and he told
me that he doesn’t like my bag because its ugly. I didn’t get offend after all he
is my boyfriend I want him to be honest. But he also told me that he had spoiled
his exes in the past. He told me he got one a Gucci bag and a lot of
other expensive things. He also said that he spoiled them all but me. I don’t
know how I should take this. How should I take this?? I'm not a materialistic
girl but I feel that it’s so unfair because I have done a lot more for him in
these 5 months than his exes ever could. he's the one with the well paid job
but I’ve been the one spoiling him and he claims that he can see a future with
me and didn’t with his exes yet he spoiled them and here he is telling me that my
stuff is ugly but hasn’t got me anything like he had for his exes. How should I
go about dealing with this? I'm hurt and frustrated. please help thanks.
Whipping Post Pauline

< Only a certain kind of  "man" knows a lot about hand bags

A.
A lot of men start out spoiling their girlfriends, and unfortunately, each time
they get hurt and/or burned, the toughen up, become harder, more jaded, but that
is how they become a man, one that can focus on his career and then his girlfriend,
not the other way around. Face it, if a man is completed besotted with his lady, he
is soft and may find it hard to concentrate on his work, which in counterproductive
if he wants to take care of his lady and their future children. It's hard for men in
that sense; they want to be kind, but have to protect themselves from being turned
into a powerless wad of jelly. A good man concentrates on work, but is still kind and
attentive to his lady. Some lose balance and decide "I am never going to be that
generous and sweet again; the next girl will suffer and know who the boss is!” This
is indeed unfair to the next girlfriend, who is; in this case you with the ugly cheap bag.
You have to let him know it is ignorant to tell you about spoiling his ex's and it's like
throwing pearls at swine, bragging about the expensive gifts while degrading your
accessories (only gay men even notice a fucking hand bag!).
Write him a note and say the only time you want him to mention bags is when he is
buying you one or putting his “bags” on your face. Just because you are into this man,
 doesn't mean you have to put up with that arrogant behavior. He was obviously hurt by
 one of these Gucci loving bitches and is taking it out on you. Mention that you too
deserve to be spoiled, and it doesn't
have to be with material items either. If he won't spoil you, make yourself available
for the one who will.

< I guess HE would spoil you

My friend Lisa is here from CT (usa) until April 9th. We have taken LOADS of pictures and have had a million laughs. I have known her since my high school days, so it's fun showing an ol' pal around Berlin. She was lucky so far with the weather. She landed  on Thursday and it has been sunny ever since (except today, it went from HOT to Freezing like THAT). I will blog as soon as I get a chance, the pics are great! We tried to see Knut, the famous baby Polar Bear yesterday, but you can only see him from 11am till noon and from 2pm to 3pm and since we arrived at 4pm, we were shit out of luck. They run that Zoo with an iron fist I tell you. The pics below are from last week, when me and my pals were out for a great night of karaoke. Stephanie, another American living in Berlin, has a tattoo on her finger as you can see and so I got my Sharpie (fat permanent marker) out and drew one on the rest of us. yay!

ps. Jasmine is in Rome fyi, having the time of her life.  

x 

 

;;;

 

ppss.

Click HERE   to laugh your ass off (it takes a while to load, but it's well worth the wait)