Ask Dr. Dot

It now only takes 48 hours for my happy mood to wear off after landing in Berlin. It has been freezing here and the sky has been grey the whole time except for yesterday evening, the sun came through for a couple hours. Jasmine is so busy now in her life, I hardly get to see her. On one hand I am happy that she is so independent, but sad that I have to stand in line to get some time with her. She is busy going to many protests, she is very left wing and is involved in some political groups who attend many protests. She also takes guitar lessons and school keeps her super busy and the amount of friends she has just boggles the mind.

Most of my friends are so busy too, it’s hard to just come back and get into the grove rite away. I also noticed something. I have some girl friends that call me often and email me almost daily from Berlin when I am home in NY, yet when I am actually here in Berlin, I hardly hear from them let alone see them. I also have a pal in NY who I hardly see or speak to, but when I get to Berlin, he calls me more than anyone else from the US. I wonder if some people are afraid of intimacy or what is that about? Is it safer to conduct a friendship 3,000 miles away?

A VERY good friend of mine, who was a tad more than a friend at one point, is in a coma since March 15th. I was devastated when I heard the news and couldn’t believe it as he was so strong and healthy. 6’5″, body builder (which is usually not my type) non-smoker, hardly drank etc. He got a lung infection and was put into an artificial coma by the Doctors to stabilize his breathing and heart beat. But when they tried to bring him out of that coma, it didn’t work, so now he is in a vegetative state coma. I went to visit him on Saturday and it was a sad sight. He is withering away, very thin and he was all sweaty. His sister said he always has a fever. I massaged his hands and shoulders and talked to him, but he was asleep the whole time. She said when he is away, his eyes are wide open, but when I was there, they were closed the whole time. He did flinch when I tried to unclench his fingers. It can’t be good for them to be so clenched up so stiff the whole time. I didn’t force them open, I was just trying to stretch them for him and get the blood going. He is only 27 the poor guy. So now you know why I haven’t blogged much lately, I am over here in Berlin and sad. Seeing Jasmine is so great, but when she is busy, I feel like I am in no mans land, in between lives. A lot of people I know here are ill and/or really broke. Seeing Mike in a coma made me realize how short life really can be and to count my blessings again. Berlin needs a miracle. I did get my column done, so here it is:

Hi Dr. Dot,

 I have a few issues that i need help with. Firstly i am very 
concerned about the size of my penis as it is only 3ins whilst erect. This has 
made me very shy as the last two girlfriends made fun of my size and said that i 
was unable to pleasure them. My second problem is that i am 22 and living with 
my nan who is very religious and doesn't believe in sex before marriage so that 
stops me from bringing girls to the house so what am i to do? My final problem 
is that i have frequent problems with cannabis and even when i try as hard as i 
can i can't seem to get off it, it has even lead me to stealing off my nan to 
pay for my addiction. please can you tell me what to do!
Hi Matthew,

You can’t change the penis situation but you can improve your sex routine by giving girls the best oral sex of their lives. You know, having a huge cock isn’t everything in life. In fact, in my experience, the bigger the dick, the bigger the DICK it’s attached to. Most really sweet guys have tiny dicks, they have to try harder and women know this. You will eventually attract the rite woman, one who values being treated good in other ways then just being stuffed good. You can give oral and use dill dos too while you’re at it. Women pine after a lover who insists she cums first before he does. All those things will be on your side.. except, the next part, living with your nan.

If you don’t like it, work harder and get your own flat, sneaking girls in and out will just make you look silly. The pot addiction can hurt your sex drive and make you apathetic, I would stop that habit until you have your own place, as pot can make everything seem ok, when it’s not, like stealing from your nan, you will go to hell for that, not even Dr. Dot can help you on that one. I think there is some sort of viscous cycle going on here, you smoke because your living and sex situation is bothering you, which makes you steal and feel bad about yourself and to numb it, you smoke again. Did you know pot makes your dick limp and weak? It is true. Just like any muscle, the more you use it, the stronger and bigger it gets. Forget pot, get busy wanking and saving for your own flat.
Dr. Dot

Hi Dr. Dot,
I could use some of your expert love advice.  This Asian girl I’m going out with, before I saw her naked, I always thought she had decent boobs.  Well, it turns out she wears a padded bra so they look fine, but she’s actually pretty small. I don’t really care too much about boob size,  I’m totally happy with a B-cup… One of her boobs a B cup, but then her other boob is way smaller.  It’s weird, and she told me she’s really insecure about it and she wants to get a boob job. Normally i’m always against boob jobs but when she told me she’s going to get a boob job, I could tell she wanted me to discourage her from getting it and tell her “no don’t be crazy, you’re fine.”  But honestly, I think she would be a lot better off with a boob job, even though I think sticking a saline bag in your chest is gross.  I think she’s one of the rare exceptions because she’s not only very small, but uneven too.  She’s really insecure about it and a boob job would not only actually make it look better, but probably help the way she feels about herself.  So I kind of danced around the subject, didn’t really encourage or discourage it, but I should probably take a firm side.  And it’s not like she’s rich either, she’s kind of poor so $6000 is A LOT.  What do you think I should do?
Loving Louie

Dear Louie,

Look her in the eyes and say “I like you either way, so what ever makes you happy”.
That’s the ONLY way to get out of this safely. I presume you aren’t paying for them (maybe she thinks you will and that’s why she mentioned it) so just put it all in her corner, otherwise she may  loathe you for encouraging her to change her body, and if she does get the money from you, there is a good chance she will want to try out her new toys with other guys which could give you a heart attack and empty bank account.

Dr. Dot