MISFITS show (Ramones and Black Flag )


The Misfits packed the Starland Ballroom Friday night and let me tell you, when they say “all ages show” they mean it. I saw 8 year old kids running around with their faces painted like Jerry Only’s (Singer of the band).

Jerry Only^                                                                                     Marky Ramone ^

There is only 3 guys in the Misfits, Jerry Only sings and plays bass (Jerry and I go way back), Marky Ramone on drums and Dez Cadena, the former singer and guitarist from Black Flag. I find it cute that since Marky and Dez are ‘without their original band’ that they fit nicely into the Misfits.

Jerry is Mr. PR. He poses for pictures with his fans and spends an hour signing autographs after the show, like a good rock/punk/pop star should! One thing Jerry and I have in common (besides hating cigarettes) is the fact we both were treated badly on the Howard Stern show and we both moan about it and rank on ‘Coward Stern’ when asked about him. HISSSS!

Anyhow, the band played mostly Ramones songs and had the place in an uproar with tons of crowd surfing and occasional stage diving. They sure do make a lot of fucking noise for having only 3 dudes in the band. The kids went WILD!

One by one the crowd surfers would land with a crash in the press pit with a smile on their face, then get quickly ushered out by the security back into the crowd to surf again. That’s another great thing about the Starland Ballroom, even the security is cool!

All band members are somewhat from the area so there were tons of relatives back stage. Jerry’s son was there with tons of friends, I’d say they were all about 16 or 17 years old. I can imagine if Jasmine and her pal Rachel were there, they would have had a blast, lots of cuties there, especially the one with the mohawk wearing the  ‘FUCK BUSH’ T-shirt. I had to think “don’t stand so close to me” a few times :O

Note to perverted self: Must remember my age, must remember my age.

Dez didn’t mind one bit having me document his pre-show make up routine

 ^ Dez all made up and ready to play                ^ Blurry shot of Dez and I

^ Dez without make up

^ Jerry and I before the show.                                   ^ Jerry shows his cool custom made gloves he had made in Boston

Jerry did a huge favor for me a few years ago, he came to my flat and let VH-1 film us for hours. I massaged him and gave him the Bite Method massage (which I invented) and you can see a bit of this chaos if you view the videos on my web site. When Jerry left my flat with the camera crew, he shocked the nosey old lady living below me by yelling  “man, that was the hardest Porn I have ever filmed!” All of my nosey neighbors heard it, but I was pissing my pants laughing. He is wicked funny!

Marky was napping before the show, but when he woke up to go to the little boys room, he saw me in the hall and invited me into his dressing room, problem is, he was so tired and out of it, he tried to lead me into the ladies room instead. LOL!

Anyhow, once I convinced him that wasn’t the dressing room, we went into his room and chatted about old times. I had him sign an old picture of us

I can’t believe he can sleep through all of the chaos that goes on back stage. When I left his room, he said he was going to sleep some more. It’s wicked loud back stage!

Jerry also signed some pic’s for me


 ^ that was taken in my flat for the VH-1 shoot                 ^ Berlin 1997 (Jerry decorated my face when he- signed the autograph)

Listen, my camera is amazing, but I don’t have a scanner. I took a picture of my autographs until I find time to drag my ass to Kinkos and have them all scanned in. Note to self: get a frickin’ scanner!

Jerry Only’s birthday is next week, so his ex-wife’s sister brought him a huge cake

 ^ ‘Happy Birthday Uncle Jerry’                                                ^ Slicing the cake on stage

He is so sweet, after the show, the lucky few fans not only got to meet him and take pictures with him, they also sang him Happy Birthday and after he cut the cake, they all got a tiny piece of it  ( I got a huge piece as I am a pig). Then after all that cake, Jerry and I did some more Howard Stern bashing in his dressing room 😀

Jerry’s personal trainer Steve (sorry, no image) gave me a foot massage. He massaged my left foot 3 years ago at a Ramones party and finally my right foot got a rub down too. Steve decided it was best that I drive Dez home, since it was on my way. Dez lives in Newark.

Dez and I got into my car and the CD that was blaring from my cd player was live Frank Zappa from 1984, sound board (as in, not legal) but so fucking amazing. I said, sorry, you have to listen to Frank while I drive.

He looked at me long and hard and said ” I can’t fucking believe this!”. I was like, “Wot?” He says “I am a Zappa fanatic!”. Sure enough, he sang along to every song, knew every word! I decided to test him a bit and threw in “Over night sensation” (an old Zappa album) and he knew every fucking song on that too.

It was so funny in the car. He was air guitarring and singing along with me, we both air guitarred every amazing Frank solo,  wicked funny!!! He invited me up to his flat to see his Frank Zappa painting that someone gave him and I reluctantly went up there, I mean, it was like 2am already and I was beat. I am glad I went up! He has more Zappa video footage than I do and so much music, I felt like a kid in a candy shop. He whipped out his

(yeah, you pervert, thought I was gonna say willy right?)

acoustic guitar and started playing some Zappa off the Uncle Meat album, but I thought it would be nicer to sing along to Me and Bobby McGhee instead. So here’s Dev standing and playing while I sang. The neighbors were not amused. Dev gave me a tour of his flat, he has it done up like a castle inside. He has a face mask of Bella Lugosi , as in, when he died, they poured plaster onto his face and made a mask. Dez has one of them among other dead peoples masks hanging around. He has some stuffed bats. As in, the tiny animal. He also has a skeleton of a bat

framed on the wall. I could imagine Ozzy and/or Alice Cooper living here if you get my drift. After dissing Frank Sinatra in the car, I found out he is a big Frank Sinatra fan (yikes!). He has Frank’s mug shot for when he was arrested for crude behavior in Hoboken at age 17. I don’t care, I stand by my opinion, if you are a karaoke freak like I am in the NYC area, you grow to hate Bon Jovi, Frank Sinatra, Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel for the mere reason, that every fucker around sings their songs at karaoke as if there were NO other artist to sing, you get sick of them, honestly!Same fucking shit every time you go out “Piano Man” “Living on a prayer” “Born to Run” and “New York state of mind” give it a fucking rest will ya!? Try some Paul Simon or Kiss for a change.

Anyhow, oh yes, the Zappa painting   it hangs very prominently in his living room.


 He indeed LOVES ZAPPA. And, as I always say, any fan of Zappa, is a friend of mine. I had to take a picture of Dez’s guitar case  love the hand written text on there. I will massage Dez next week and he wants to show me some famous pizza palor in Brooklyn but therefore he must endure some karaoke in the city with me 😀

Now for some Starland Ballroom shots. Like I said before, the staff there is one big happy family. The kitchen is the main hang out and there is always someone ‘on’ there, as in, on stage, making the jokes. Paul and Brain are the cooks and Paul is a massive Dead Head (Grateful Dead fan in case you live in a cave). Paul feeds me and I massage him (will work for food)


^ Paul (Mr. Food)                                             ^ Ilya in  “I’m big in Europe” shirt.   ^ Hot Roadie chick


^ Vinnie the magician                                                      ^ Rada; Rada’s breast, me, her brother Ilya, Nick and Paul

The staff are all comedians, we all take turns cracking jokes and each band has to walk through the kitchen and sometimes they hang out and crack jokes with everyone. Vinnie the magician is amazing with cards, you can hardly tell from this picture of him, but he made it look like cards were pouring out of his mouth. Rada and Ilya are bother and sister and are from Israel and are so fucking sweet. I spend more time massaging the staff then the rock stars, and I love it.

I am off to bed, I have to get up in  6 hours to visit NYC’s best Tattoo shop called the “Last Write”. Something has to be done about that nasty excuse for a tattoo I have on my right ankle, I need a cover up tattoo. I will fill you in on Zack Wylde tomorrow. He rocked by the way!