Tonight, Saturday night, I was walking down the street at around 10:15 pm with my friend who I call Prince Harry. We had just bought some chocolate from the gas station, and were heading down the same street that the German man attacked me on January 26th
Anyhow I was JUST saying to Price Harry that this was the same area that fucker lives, (he was heading into his house on his bike when he started shit with me, so I assumed he lived in THAT house). As soon as the words left my mouth, a saw a man on a bike, heading our way and I focused to the point where my eyes were watering (you know if you don't blink for a while, your eyes flood) well, sure enough, as he got closer, I recognized him and shouted at him. Prince Harry grabbed him by the scruff of his jacket at said he needs to hold on a minute while I call the Police. The wanker pretended not to know me but I KNOW 1000% it was him.
He even went so far as to have painted his crappy bike a light blue (shitty hand painted job to disguise himself while on the get away vehicle).
I rang the 911, which is the freakin' Fire Department here, lol, and they connected me to the Police. I was shouting, too excited to speak proper German and I have no clue how they understood me, but they said they were on their way. Meanwhile a car pulled up and a man said he was an undercover cop and asked if everything was ok. we told him the scoop and he said he
too would wait until the cops came. The wanker who hit me suddenly said he remembered me and said to Prince Harry "I remember her, she called me a German DICK!". Hello? Probably as he was trapping me against the building , holding me captive, I did shout out some swear words, and I also shoved him to get free and run away from him! (see older blog) But none of that gives him the right to bother me while I am jogging and to hunt me down and knock me out and then flee like a coward. I screamed at him in German that he was a coward and he said "you are a coward!". His English was crap and it was really hard for Prince Harry to hold back from dragging him into the woods and giving him what he gave me, a nice big punch in the face.
Anyways, as the cops were arriving, Mr. Wanker spotted a stick (twig) on the side walk and when he picked it up, I actually thought he was going to try to hurt us with it, but he is so anal, he was simply tossed it into the bushes, as in, to clean the sidewalk. This is the same anal behavior that made him approach me and scream at me for stretching on a building, not even HIS building. The cops got out of their van and asked him for his Identification, and he hadn't any on him. I said "I am sure he lives in building
number 36, don't you!?" and he said "yes" and I said, "see, I knew it was him, that's the guy!" and one of the cops was one of the ones that came on Jan 26th to take my report after I had been beaten up. He remembered me, he said "You are the American lady right?".Yes, he remembers. He was a cool cop, and he totally wanted to find this fucker and now we did. He said that I should just head home and they would be in touch.
30 minutes later, the two cops were at my door. They came in and told me that HE wants to press charges against ME. WTF? We all had a laugh, but still, the cop still had to take his statement. He claims I hit him first on Jan. 26th (that's funny that (a) it took him almost 2 months to do anything about it (b) that he fled after bashing my face and I have pictures to prove it AND the cops saw my bloody face directly after I was knocked out. The cops also said that they checked his records and he has a huge history, a long record of violent crimes. This should come to NO surprise to you that people who are repeat offenders get to walk free here, as yesterday on the cover of all the papers, was a 25 year old woman who was just brutally raped and beat by a man who had already served time for rape AND murder. They let murderes and of course, rapist walk free here. WAAAAAY too liberal, that's why no one is afraid of the law, and that's why they aren't afraid of committing crimes, as they know they will simply get a slap on the fucking hand.
Bad thing is, the fucker knows my last name as he heard me call the cops and they wanted to know my name so I had to tell them
and we don't live far from one another. I find it creepy that he lives RIGHT around the corner from me and knows my last name. My pal Prince Harry said that works both ways, we know exactly were he lives and if the law won't punish him, well, my English friends want to. I really hope justice is served here, that fucker who has a history of hitting people needs to learn his lesson.
The fact that he went so far as to paint his bike and then wait 2 months to file his complaint and his bad record will probably hurt him in court. Having to see his ugly fucking face again was bad enough, now I have to face him in court, ew! Price Harry says he looks about 47 years old. What a PRAT. But I am happy now that I saw him again, happy, nervous, scared, excited, lots of mixed emotions, just thought I would give you an update as many keep asking me "have they caught that fucker who hit you yet!?" Well, now the answer is YES, we caught him (he is still in his apartment, nice and comfy, but the cops have his info now, so we shall see what happens next, which will probably be just a slap on his hand from the Liberal German legal system).
Taking a step back now, back to December, in NYC. I know, it's taking me ages to blog lately, but I have a lot of things going on, lots to juggle indeed. NYC was amazing; it's still my favorite place on earth. I filmed my Ask Dr. Dot column for an internet radio show but who knows if that will ever take off or not. People come to me daily with "great ideas" on how to make me rich/famous, get my books and ideas out there. They all talk SHIT! It was good practice, as now I am thinking of how to make a Pod cast for my column. Only thing holding me back is the fact that I would have to spend even MORE time online (my poor ass doesn't want to be sat on that much). I like to move it, move it, I like to move it, move it. You get the picture.
< Rite Aide
Even though NYC is one of the BEST places on earth to go out and party, my friends and I try to find healthy, fun things to do instead of always hanging out in bars doing karaoke and shaking our asses. Rite Aide and CVS are open 24/7 and so you can shop whenever you fucking want to without anyone rushing, pushing, nagging, etc. We end up in these places very often and well, we like to spice things up by pushing the envelope. My ass needed some air, so I let her out and started a trend amongst my pals. It was a big rush of adrenaline, seeing how far we could REALLY go without getting caught/arrested for indecent exposure.
My Gay friend Danny and I raise extreme amounts of hell, and we don't even need alcohol
to do so. We are naturally high. We had to ask a stranger to take these pics, he wanted some
cash in the end and we were like "ok, check's in the mail fuck face".
Our mutual pal MAX shot this tiny video in Rite Aide on New Years Eve. Well, it was actually
in the wee hours of New Years Day come to think of it. NAUGHTY!
This was really CHEEKY! ^ I am on a bench, in front of the Hoboken Town Hall, and in front of their Nativity
scene. Tsk Tsk, what a disrespectful wench.
^ Ok, that plunger idea was mine. Too bad he kept his undies on 🙁
It's REALLY fun riding in those carts; the place was packed so this shot was difficult to pull off without many
people seeing the ASS.
Funny thing is, I met Danny AGES ago in a Rite Aide, buying a stupid amount of Cotton Balls at 4am. Long story.
My friend FET made this Thong with the Wind movie poster, that's what friends are for 🙂
Daryl is my NYC massage rep. She runs the show in that area when I am away. I trust her BIG TIME, she is so incredibly honest and ambitious and amazing at what she does. I now have 3 reps on my team, Daryl, Catherine (Baltimore) and Roddy (London). They work their way up to that position and it means they are extremely dependable and trust worthy and basically the best at what they do. That guy there in the pic, Don, is a myspace friend. Sometimes when I know I will be in a certain area, I post a bulletin and say "lets RAWK! Let's karaoke!" and I meet some of my myspace pals. Don is a really cool dude. We all went to some cheesy Asian karaoke bar cause my favorite place, IGGY's (upper East Side) didn't have it that night, the night I ask all my myspace friends to come sing with me if they can (Normally they have it 7 nights a week but they didn't that night so I was flappin'!)
Daryl and her "friend" who looks like Tiger Woods. Daryl can sing her ASS off, I was amazed!!!!! People come up to
that guy and ask for his freakin' autograph on a regular basis. He REALLY looks just like him, it's bananas.
Even though Iggy's was closed the one night, it didn't stop me from going back. I LOVE that place, it is a fucking freak show!
This one guy brings his freakin' Chinchillas in there while people sing wicked loud (karaoke). I let them crawl all over me
(not the guests, the Chinchillas). After touching those little critters, I have to loathe anyone who wears that kind of fur. MEAN!
I got to see one of my best pals, Jonesy and his gal Barbara at one of my favorite restaurants "44X10". It's called that cause it's ON 44th and 10th. It's fucking LOVELY, the food, the service, the drinks, the staff. PLUS you can park free on 10th ave after 7pm. What more could you want? And of course, it's NON smoking, which is heaven on earth for me. Jasmine and one of her best pal's Rachel joined us: those girls!! Also pictured above, Mechel and I and her pal (Mechel is the one wearing the skull & cross bone shirt) and you can see Danny lurking in the back ground. He was nervous being in another "Breeder" bar (as in, not a gay bar), but he survived.
Back in Berlin, Shai, Danielle and I go out and sing from time to time. I usually have to play body guard and shoo the men away, as those
two are too nice. Not the case with me. Heh heh.
Of course the convo usually leads to oral sex and this time they wanted me to show them what I meant ^ (don't ask)
< Shai singing some country song that mentions "Wal Mart" repeatedly
I can't BELIEVE I still have that fucking shirt. I bought it in NYC at Trash and Vaudville in 1984!! No wonder I'm not a millionaire yet,
I gave out a fortune in Beatles and Stones shit over the years. That bastard cost me $80 and I've never worn it.
OK, I massaged Shai, then Alex, then they got crazy on my massage table ^ They are NOT shy.
I went to Manchester, England on Feb 10th. I was so excited to go there and hang with my friends and Vicki (dressed as a man here) organized me going on a Music related TV show called "Manchester City Social" or something to that effect. The night I landed was pure chaos. The place I was supposed to stay at, well, the guy changed his mind and said "not tonight, but tomorrow" which left me in the fucking shit. Vicki offered me a place to stay at her place, but it's really small and she and her room mate already had guests staying there and so I had to move my shit to another random renters house, a guy named Keir who was mad cool, but the room he rented was FAR from dark and quiet like he said it would be, in fact, I doubt a place could be any fucking LOUDER!.
Anyways, Vick, Will and I went to the party, the party in which women were supposed to dress as old men and men were supposed to dress as old ladies. Didn't sound very fucking appetizing to me, so I came dressed normal and luckily didn't get turned away for showing up without a costume. The party was great and Vicki rapped on the mic, freestyle for what seemed like hours, she is born to entertain and she is getting her own radio show very soon, and personally, I think she belongs on TV, she is so fucking funny. She sings and has a song called "Don't fucking touch me on the dance floor!" which I am SURE would go over very well in the states, as I personally hate dancing in America, as the men think it's ok to hump you raw on the dance floor, some even sandwich you like a piece of lunch meat.EW, fucking EW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sad thing is, they do it cause the girls LET them do it, so they think it's ok to do that to every snatch they see. Wrong fucking answer.
< Too much touching on the dance floor
As you can see, most dressed up for the party.
^ Vicki's breast made a special appearance
This is at a bar called Siam Orchid Lounge (Portland ave). It has karaoke 7 nights a week!! So basically, it's the Iggy's of Manchester. Lots of rowdy fucking
red necks (but the Mancunian accent makes them kewl). It takes for FUCKING HOURS to sing here, so bring lots of time and money
as it's also very expensive. I suggest drinking at home, then going here and drinking water. Their wine SUCKS ASS (screw off cap). It's
great for karaoke, but the food and drinks here bite, get my drift? It's a karaoke-whore hang out. I found it horrifying that they didn't have ONE
James Brown song in their song book. WHAT THE FUCK!? Are you kidding me? Bring your own karaoke cd's to be on the safe side. heh heh.
ps. It's smoky as FUCK in every bar/pub/restaurant in the UK. I can hardly wait for the smoking ban. Amen.
^ Pauline went and washed off that make up and took down her hair. I didn't even recognize her at first. She is a
KNOCK OUT! (she is from Scotland and her accent is so charming, oh LORD!)
Another myspace mate of mine, Jed. He helped me with my bags, helped me get the hell out of Manchester. I
left in a hurry as the guy who found the last place I stayed at seemed to think it was ok to ring my door bell for hours,
sneak into the building and bang on my door for ages and follow me down the street even when I said I don't want
to talk to him, so in some sense, he was stalking me. I am a drama magnet. Holy FUCK!
Vicki and I went out after I filmed that TV show and we ate at a place called Wagamama.
It quickly became my favorite place to eat in Manchester. I ate there several times.
Yummy as HELL!
< Video I made of that expensive HOLE I stated in
A tiny video I made of that OVER PRICED shit hole I stayed in for 5 nights (it was 300 pound for 5 nights, which is like $600 and it isn't even a hotel, it's a flat that has no internet, mold in the bathroom and pubic hairs all over the bed. Fucking EW!!!!!! The bar above, Churchills, is on Canal Street, the gayest street in the UK, which the fags nick named "Anal Treat" (they altered the sign, so instead of Canal Street it's ANAL TREAT). Anyhow, even hetro's hang on this street as it's hoppin' 7 nights a week and Churchills has karaoke tues. thurs and sunday nights. Vick and I went in there and the Lesbo's were really into my leather pants. One even started waltzing with me in the ladies room. I belted out some James Brown and I have to say, the sound is the best in that town for karaoke. Loved it there. Their song book is a foot thick, they have it ALL. Overall, I found Manchester to be EXTREMELY expensive. I had to drag my lap top to Starbucks every day and pay 5 pounds an hour to check my emails. A cup of coffee is like 3 pounds ($6) and to ring a friend on a cell phone, it usually cost about 4 pounds for a quick chat. I don't see how English people survive. Sure I know a lot of stars, a lot of rich folks, but the normal people I hung with were so broke, they couldn't PAY attention, I mean NO ONE has ANY money there, no one! Really sad situation.
The Germans better fucking count their blessings (6 weeks paid vacation per year,6 weeks of paid Sick Days, cheap health insurance etc) as the English have it HARD compared to how cushy it is in Germany. I bet the UK will fall to pieces if they fall prey to converting to the Euro. I doubt they could survive that blow.
Also, the streets and shops and bars are dirty there (Manchester). Litter everywhere and even the canals were loaded with trash, it was fucking nasty. Sorry, but I have to be honest here.I didn't see ANY grass at all, barely any trees and it stunk like garbage. A great town to go party if you are rich, but there is a lot of fighting there as well, very hostile drunks there (and I mean the WOMEN!). Yes, The women, well, they need to put some fucking clothes on, and no, I am not being prude, I mean most are so fucking chubby and ugly and yet wear things 8 times too small for them and they parade around the streets like that in the FREEZING, wet weather. No matter if it's snowing, raining, freezing, they refuse to wear coats, they want to make it as EASY as possible for the men to look at their bodies.
I can't understand why 95% of the people there walk around without a coat on, are they numb? Dumb? Drunk? Afraid of losing their precious coats? Can't afford one? Or all of the above? Please, fill me in on this, so I can peel my jaw off the floor. Call Jerry Springer, he needs to have a Manchester based show.
Now I know exactly where they got the inspiration for the popular UK comics THE FAT SLAGS from!!
Some crazy fucks floating around that town I tell ya and I was MADLY disappointed at the lack of rock and roll. Everywhere I went I heard shitty "music". I was shocked as I thought great music came from that area. I was hoping to at least hear some Oasis, Happy Mondays or James or so, but no, just cheesy bubble gum techno shite that would make the Spice Girls sound like Led Zepp! Next time I go there, I will do massive research as to where to REALLY go for some good music. The TV show I was on had 3 amazing acts on it, I couldn't believe my ears. So I know there is talent there, but where they fuck do they play/hide?
I guess it's the same in every major city, if you hang out in the tourist center of town, you will get CHEESE.
Me at a tiny English bus stop ^ and a tiny video I made of the country side ^
On my 7th day there, I decided it was time to escape. I was thinking of staying 2 weeks but the place I was staying at fell prey to a stalker and it was getting so expensive, the whole trip cost me more than 1000 POUNDS (that's $2,000) and for what? I still don't know the answer to that. A very special friend of mine came and rescued me, he drove me to the South of England, near Gloucester and I got to see the lovely country side (Prince William lives a mile from there). THIS is the side of England I love, countryside, fresh air, polite folks, no litter, rolling hills of green, cute pubs and loads of land to walk around on, undisturbed. I guess I prefer the country side over the big cities. The ONLY big city I love is NYC, litter and all.
"There's no place like home"
(but where is home? "Home is where the heart is. On the bus")
Just came back from Manchester, UK, will do a major blog as soon as I catch my breath… it was a crazy trip, as usual.. Anyhow, meet our new Massage Therapist, Sadie. She can massage you in or around London when ever you want a Dr. Dot style massage. If you are heading there or are already there and want a massage, let me know x
Hi my name is Sadie and I live just outside of London, England. I worked freelance in Illustration for a year after completing a course at the London College of Fashion. To earn some money I worked in the Banking industry for two years, but that was definitely not for me. I wanted a more creative job that matched my personality & interests.
I have always loved massage and decided to enroll on a course, I totally absorbed myself and completed last year in Swedish massage. I am now on an advanced course for Swedish massage that specializes in deep tissue, and hope to go into Reflexology and Holistic therapy at the end of the year. I would also love to study abroad for different massage techniques and therapies; I am always looking for ways to enhance my massage techniques and create a more unusual and tailor made experience for the client.
I met Dot last year at a party and we got talking straight away, I was instantly inspired. I had never met anyone so focused and ambitious. When Dot explained the Dr.Dot team and gave me a leaflet I couldn’t wait to audition. I massaged Dot later that week and was thrilled and shocked to have been offered a place on the team!
Email me at info@drdot.com and write "Sadie/London" in the subject line if you want to book a massage
Meet Carolina,
She is located in Ibiza.
You can read about her and see her picture below. Looking forward to helping
you relax,
x Dr. Dot
My name is Carolina and I´m from Valparaíso, Chile. I moved to Barcelona in
2001 and soon began studying Natural Therapies. Now I live in Ibiza.
I have since completed my
studies and I now work in Therapeutic Massage and specialize in Hot and
Cold Stone Massage, Lymphatic Drainage, Cyriax (deep transversal massage),
Reflexology and Thai Reflexology, Infantile and Traditional Thai Massage,
Craneo-sacra Therapy and Aromatherapy.
Before moving to Spain I studied journalism and, as well as doing my
Therapy work, I am also a freelance journalist for a health magazine. I
have worked backstage as a news reporter in concerts and art shows, so I feel
that I have a lot in common with Dr Dot. I enjoy this work a lot, and
working as a part of Dr Dot’s Team means that I can now combine my two passions:
music and massage.
When I heard about Dr Dot I wrote her a letter her asking to be a part of the team.
I was then asked to give one of her assistants a massage and, well, the rest is
history! At the moment I am working in different places around the Barcelona and
Cataluña. For example, I work in a beautiful Health Spa situated on the coast just
south of the city and a Gym which is exclusively for females. I also have many clients,
of different ages and back-grounds, whom I visit at their homes.
When I was Thailand recently doing a course on Thai Massage, my teacher in Chan Mai
used to call me “magic hands” – so I guess I was doing something right!
If you want a massage, email me: info@drdot.com and put “Carolina/Barcelona” in the subject line and I will write back right away.
Instead of posting my NYC blog, I have to get this out now. Tonight, while jogging with my iPod on full blast, I stopped to stretch (like I do several times). I put one foot up on what ever is closest, a fence, building, step, etc. It was after midnight, which for some is a strange time to jog, but for me, very normal. I was stretching and a German man wearing thick glasses started yelling at me. I couldn’t hear a word he was saying, so I just kept on stretching thinking he must be drunk or have mistaken me for someone else.
He had a bike in his hand, and was walking it fast towards me, still yelling. I said, over my music “I can’t hear you and I don’t speak German” which isn’t true, I can speak German but at this hour, I really don’t want to talk to a strange man on the street anyways, and especially not while I am working out. I want to just focus and get it over with.
He came way up into my face yelling and started to trap me against the building with his bike, cornering me. I said “woah! Don’t touch me!”. Now I could hear what he was screaming, and he seemed furious that I didn’t speak German and yelled “You should speak German here in Germany! Do not ever put your feet on a building like that!”.
At this point I didn’t give a shit what he was screaming the point was he had me cornered and I couldn’t get out, even after a few tries so I pushed him and his bike just enough to squeeze out and I ran between to parked cars out onto the street, thinking he couldn’t squeeze through that gap very fast with his bike. I was wrong.
He followed me on the side walk, me running as fast as I could. I ran like mad, the freezing cold air hurting my lungs. Instead of taking a right onto my street, I kept on and took the next right as I didn’t want this freak knowing where I lived.
There was no one out on the street, unfortunately and the street I turned onto was dark. I was panicking as I didn’t know if he was still following me. Half way down that street I turned back and sure enough, he was. I ran faster and took the next right and there was a man walking his dog. I thought about stopping and asking for help, but was so freaked out, I just kept running. I passed a bar that is open 24 hours a day, and thought about running in there too, but I didn’t want to be cornered by this guy at all, so I took another right which brought me onto my street. He sped up to me on his bike, cut me off so I couldn’t move and punched me EXTREMELY hard in my mouth; I fell back, knocked out. When I snapped out of it, I was screaming and crying and blood was pouring out of my mouth, and the cowardly German was already half way down the street.
My cries for help went unheard and no one could have caught him anyways. I ran into the bar bleeding and the drunks all poured out. None of them understood me because I was crying in English, and they couldn’t help anyways. So I ran home and called the Police.
Sorry, no pretty picturse today ^
This reminds me of the time I was punched out by a German man in NYC (!!!!) right on 2nd ave, right out side of a karaoke bar. You can click HERE to read that story and HERE for the follow up. He kept calling me a “Jude Votze”, (which means Jewish Cunt) “Jude Schwein!” (which means Jewish Pig) because of my Jewish Star of David necklace basically.
Even though I am not Jewish, I have many Jewish friends. The guy was caught and charged with a hate crime. About 10 years ago here in Berlin, before I had a cell phone, I was in a phone booth talking to a girlfriend, broad day light and a German guy was waiting very impatiently out side, pacing. He opened the door, grabbed the phone out of my hand, hung it up, then slapped me violently across the face, than ran.
Just last week, I was in a disco, which I NEVER do, with my friend Shai. As I went to the bathroom, an Earth Wind and Fire song began to play, so I started dancing alone. The dance floor is on the very bottom floor and everyone up top can look over the railing at the dancers. I looked up at Shai most of the time, smiling as in “come down here girl” and a German dude, who looked a bit like Woody Allen started trying the hump dance with me and talking to me and I politely moved away.
He started to talk to me and I said “ I don’t speak German” and kept dancing and looking up at Shai. He then walked up to me and said “We do not want your big tits on this dance floor bitch” so I spit in his face. Then he shoved me wicked hard across the dance floor and Shai was looking and shocked as hell and asked one of our male friends to check it out. I just kept ignoring the guy, dancing, hoping he had learned his lesson. He came back and said MORE obnoxious slander and shoved me again.
One thing that pisses me off about Germany is the way the men think of girls as completely equal. Perhaps in Politics, this is a good thing, but everywhere else it sucks. They do NOT open doors, compliment or help females in need, ever. Even when play fighting with a boyfriend, they will hit you as hard as they can.
I have been told this by many of my girlfriends who live here and date Germans as well. They will not buy you a drink, flowers or help with the rent even if you live with them. And they think NOTHING of punching a woman square in the face. I am afraid to go out here anymore. When I called the Police, they came in (with the Ambulance team) and asked me to explain everything. They said there could be two explanations. 1) the guy was the land lord of that building and is anal as fuck about foot prints (it isn’t even wet out tonight) or (2) because the initial contact (stretching locating on building) was directly next to the Kreuzberg park, which is very dark and rumored to be dangerous at night, they think he may have just used that as an excuse to talk to me then perhaps intended on dragging me into the park to rape me. Either reason is fucked up.
The Doctors (the Ambulance team) said I have to ice my upper and lower lip, the blood clot will take a few days to go away, but thank God (I think my Mom and Granny are up in heaven looking after me) my teeth were not broken, nor my nose. My lips and nose are swollen up like balloons and I wonder what Mr. Joe Jackson will think of my appearance when I massage him tomorrow evening. He just moved here from London, telling me how much he loves Berlin. I told him I want to move to the UK and so, I guess the grass is always greener.
I am still shaking like a leaf when I type this and was hesitant to even write about it, as if the German press gets wind of it, they will for sure be like “oh, she is just doing that for publicity” just like they did when the Nazi like German knocked me out for wearing the Jewish Star. Showing sympathy is not one of their better qualities. One paper, the “Berliner Zeitung” (which is known to be very right wing) tried to turn it around “our poor German citizen is sitting in jail for a couple days, poor guy”. They made me out to be the bad guy. Very frustrating indeed. They just can’t admit that there are still very racist men here.
A black dude was beat into a coma a few months ago here in Berlin. Luckily the found the two skin heads and they are now in jail. I have to say, I afraid to live in Berlin, it is violent, especially for women. Not GUN violent, but cave man style violent.
You can and will get punched, randomly, female or not. I have many girlfriends tell me their tales and tales of other girlfriends who get shit walking home at night. I will never leave the house without mace again. I mean, I was just out JOGGING, not bothering anyone and this shit happened.
I can barely type this because my hands are shaking so bad. NOT AMUSED with German men at this point. Chivalry is not in their dictionary. If you are a German woman, and can still breed, do us all a fucking favor and teach your baby German boy, it is NOT ok to hit a girl. For fucks sake! I assume the house I was stretching on was the German bully’s house, so the cops and I went there to check it out.
They will now get my pictures of everyone who lives in the two buildings that are next to each other to be safe and I will hopefully spot this bastard and bring him to court. Like I have time for such shit, but he needs to learn a lesson. Germans always register with the Police, where they live and all have photo identity cards, so it shouldn’t be too hard to pin point the guy. WANKER. Next blog will be a happy blog, I hope. I am thinking to myself, like most victims do, “was it my fault? Did I provoke this? Could I have handled this better?” I try to think of what I could have done differently, but when a strange man corners me at night, and won’t let me go, I act naturally and push and flee.
I just don’t get it how a man can punch a female in the face. I told the German Police, that in America, it's not acceptable for a man to hit a girl. They said "it happens hereALL the time". Nice!
I have been ill since Halloween with Pneumonia but I finally got well enough to work again. My friend Nathan East, who plays bass (for many big names like Michael Jackson, Eric Clapton, Rod Stewart, Bon Jovi, Quincy Jones and loads more) suggested that I come to his gig in Berlin, as he is touring with Herbie Hancock now.
^Herbie is a wonderful person
The last time I saw Nathan was about 8 years ago when he was on tour with Eric Clapton. I massaged them all back then and was amazed that Nathan insisted on riding his mountain bike from the Hotel to the concert hall, which was MILES away and in East Berlin. It was already (it gets dark early in the winter).. but he was confident that he could find it and he did. He is soooo outgoing and fun. Nathan is a perfectionist and you can hear that in his music. That's why he only works with the best musicians around. He has been called one of the best bassist in the world…You can read all about him by clicking HERE
After I massaged Nathan, we all met in the lobby to go to the gig which was at the UdK (university of Art) here in Berlin. I met their tour manager Phil and was told he is also Paul McCartney's tour manager, so we chatted about Paul a bit *sigh* I LOVE PAUL! Anyhow, next time Sir Paul tours, I may be able to massage him..yay!
Nathan introduced me to Herbie outside the hotel, he was super friendly and has a warm, contagious smile. He was driven to the gig in a sleek black Mercedes and the band and I went in a van. VInnie was so tired that he was delirious and hence, FUN. Vinnie sort of reminds me of Dee Dee Ramone; he is funny even when he isn't trying to be.
Vinnie Colaiuta is on tour with Herbie too, playing drums of course. Vinnie has slept through his wake up call (he was napping) and was a bit tired, but perked up when he saw me and gave me a big hug. Last time I saw Vinnie was this past summer when he toured with Jeff Beck. Poor Vinnie, he hasn't been getting much sleep on tour, I feel really bad for touring musicians, no matter HOW cushy the tour, no matter how rich they are, it's still hard on the body. You hardly ever get a good night's sleep and the constant sitting (in the tour bus, on the plane, on the train, backstage) and irregular meals and meeting new people every day can be exhausting. If I could give them a gift of 8 hours sleep, I would. Massage does help, but nothing beats a good sleep.
Backstage, before sound check, Herbie asked me if I would like to join him chanting later. He is a Buddist and has been for the last 25 years. I told him I was open minded and would love to try. I was thinking, maybe this could be the answer to my nasty sleep disorder.
During the sound check I got to stand on the stage and watch the geniuses in action. Vinnie is so exciting to to watch, no wonder he gets so many hits on youtube.The last time I saw Vinnie was n the summer when he was drumming for Jeff Beck. He said he was actually planning on a long break but "when Herbie called, well, that was a no brainer, of course I said yes, he is one of my hero's."
Nathan had me film him while he sang "I just called" (Stevie Wonder) with his high tech camera during the sound check. I am almost certain if he wasn't busy being on of the best bassist on earth, he would be a full time photographer. He takes more pics than I do and he always makes sure the background, angle and lighting are right. Nathan is also madly in love with his wife and super proud of his twins. He shows off pics of them so proudly. It's nice and refreshing to meet a man in the music business that tours so often to still be so dedicated and in love with their wife. In fact, I rarely meet anyone anymore that is so in love with their spouse. People usually moan about how they wish things were like they used to be, in the beginning of the relationship, or the complain about "the ol'ball and chain". My Father and Step Mom are madly in love STILL after 25 years and they were the only couple I knew that were like that until I met Nathan. I thought to myself "all women would love a man like that". Nathan is such a positive person and he radiates that. This man truly loves life. I love being around people like him, it recharges your battery, takes away any jaded edges you have lurking around (well, at least for a while). To top that all off, he can sing his ass off too. Herbie chose the best musicians for his quartette.
I was really surprised when Herbie told me he had never collaborated with Zappa. He said they had spoken a few times about doing so, but things always seem to get in the way. I could tell he regrets that deeply, as he speaks so highly of Frank, which just confirms how cool Heribe is.
Herbie during sound check ^
My friend Shai ^ arrived during the sound check. Herbie was standing on stage with a mic in his hand and I introduced her to him. He spoke into the mic for all to hear "Shai? How do you spell that?" Shai spelled it for him. "Oh, nice! Great name!" Herbie is so friendly! After the sound check, Herbie invited us into his dressing room. I gave him a quick back massage and they he asked us if we wanted to chant.
He set it all up, and everyone came in to join us, except Vinnie, I think he was too tired. Herbie handed us a booklet with all of the verses he was going to say and we were to follow. He has been doing this every day for the last 25 years, so he doesn't even need to look at the book. It sounds Japanese to me, and he speaks very fast, we got lost at one point and Herbie turned around, found our spot were we should have been and never even missed a beat with his chanting. We were gob smacked.Amazed. He gave us a card with the web site and info we need to chant. Almost every city has a Buddha center. It was so relaxing and calming, I find myself chanting now, when I get stressed. You can read up about it online..Apparently Herbie is really famous for his participation as I have been approached online by people who say they are also Buddhist and they have chanted with Herbie too.Wtf? Small world.
The show was long, well over 2 hours. It was amazing, sounded perfect.Herbie is really charming on stage, he talks sometimes in between songs, and the people love it. He makes them all laugh. He needed help translating something; he needed the German words for his song "Watermelon man" and I shouted it out in German for him (note: I am NOT German, no German blood, I just have a flat here and speak the lingo). Anyways, Herbie repeated it in German and it was super cute. If Herbie is to play anywhere near you, do check out the show, the band is TIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! After the show, my daughter Jasmine and her "friend" Julian, who is from Italy, came backstage to say Hi to Herbie, Nathan, Vinnie and Lionel. Nathan entertained us with a few magic tricks, he is a magician too (jack of all trades!). I am glad Jasmine gets to meet such musical legends, they are rare and should be treasured. I was going to go to Italy and massage Herbie and co. at a few Italian shows but as I said before, the first show was canceled and it just didn't work out. Looking very forward to seeing the lads again..
My massage assistant in Italy, Melissa, got to massage them in Milan for a few days. She also chanted and went to see the Buddha center with Herbie. Mad cool.
I should actually be posting my Herbie Hancock Blog, but it's sooo long I thought I should post this short one first. I have been ill (Pnuemonia) since Halloween and just now feel better and of course as soon as that happens, all the work I could wish for falls into my lap at once. I am off to massage Herbie Hancock and his band (Nathan East, Vinnie Colaiuta and Lionel) this coming Thursday. I will fly to Naples then stay there for 4 days with them (well, I will share a room with my lovely massage assistant, Melissa who lives in Italy) and they she and I will head north to maybe massage them again in Milan or just wing it and tour around. I haven't been to Italy since I massaged Bruce Willis in 1999. Since I am 50% Italian, I figure I should go and refresh my memory as to how gorgeous it is there, while working at bit at the same time.
Anyhow, since I will be seeing Herbie and co. soon, maybe I will just wait until I get home from Italy to do one giant blog. Meanwhile, one of my closest friends in the Rock scene called me Sunday.. Phil, the guitarist of MOTORHEAD. In case you thought that all REAL rock stars have turned into PC loving vegetarians who are too domesticated to destroy things, I just wanted to let you know, Phil is STILL the real deal, the typical Rock Star in the flesh. He loves to shock people and NOTHING embarrasses him, so as you can imagine, it's tons of fun to hang out with Phil. One time, in Germany, he bought one of those candy bikini's and wore JUST that and a pair of snake skin cow boy boots and walked into the gas station and was browsing magazines and drinking coffee for a good 20 minutes. Every German who walked in almost shit themselves. Phil is HILARIOUS!!
Phil invited me (last minute as usual) to go with him tonight (well, Dec. 4th) to Lepzig to join him for a TOOL concert. He said he would be going on stage with them and playing one song with them (which would be the 2nd time this week he has jammed with them). I have never seen TOOL live, so even though I was MAD busy preparing for my trip, I agreed and Phil, his body guard and two German pals of Phil all crammed into a tiny ass car and drove from Berlin to Leipzig. We were told it was only an hour drive. WRONG answer. It took 2 hours and being cramped up like that makes me batty, but Phil kept us laughing the WHOLE trip.
Out of all of the bands I have met and massed over the years, I would have to say TOOL is one of the hardest bands to meet. I met them because Phil brought me backstage and introduced me as he and the guitarist, Adam went over last minute details. But most people will not meet Tool, it's just not going to happen unless you KNOW them. They love their down time and the backstage area is controlled like the press pit at a sold out Stones show, but tighter. I was wondering what the hell all the hype is about this band and tonight, well, last night, I was going to find the fuck out.
Phil is like a groupie for this band. He LOVES them. In fact, he said about a hundred times, that TOOL is his favorite band. Phil jammed with them during their 6th song, so before that we (Phil, his body guard- also named Phil and I watched the show). What pissed me the fuck off and annoyed me to bits was the singer. Sorry, no ass kissing here. He didn't look at the audience ONCE. He had this gas mash on that has a microphone welded into it. Hard to explain but imagine someone wearing a big ol' gas mask and then having half of a microphone sticking out of the mouth piece. He NEVER ONCE took that ugly thing off. He had a fake Mohawk on, no shirt and TIGHT, peg legged jeans with cowboy boots. EH? WTF?
He sang mostly to the back screen, which had images flashing on it the whole time. A mix of Grateful Dead hippie lights with nasty Marylin Manson type images mixed in. I know, I should be grateful that I saw their show for free,. blah blah, but this singer irritates me like a yeast infection gone wild. I stood part of the time next to the stage. Backstage but next to it, so you can see the show from the side. Guess what Mr. Slim Cut Jeans did when he was bored? He bowled. He had his assistants all decked out in scientists coats and one of them had the grueling task of setting up 12 (or 16?) plastic bottles of Evian like bowling pins OVER AND OVER AGAIN, the whole show long, so the singer could roll what appeared to be a white roll of electrical tape into the bottles. Naturally all of his paid help had to watch each time and praise him when he scored. Some people were moaning that Jennifer Lopez is a Diva because she hired a man to tweak her nipples during her video shoots to keep them perky, I don't see the fucking difference in Diva behavior, sorry. The band is talented… But the singer, in my opinion, looks like he just got out of the army and can't decide if he wants to play cowboy or Indian and I find it fucking arrogant that he never once faced the crowd or removed his mask. Whatever! Light show, well, it was rad, but I've seen it before at many Pink Floyd shows and in fact, the music reminded me of a mix of Pink Floyd peppered with Marylin Manson and Radiohead. NOT original at all.
Again, the drummer, bassist and guitarist are outrageously talented, loved them…
The Holier then though sought after pass ^ and Phil, showing me his new Pirate style jacket ^
^ Phil has me in a head-lock…. and Adam (they are buddies). Adam was wondering if I would put him on my massage flyer. I told him "No, not unless I massage you".
I am wearing a Frank Zappa shirt that a girlfriend made for me. Thanks Ines. Last night, Dec 4th, was Frank Zappa's death anniversary:
(born December 21, 1940, died December 4, 1993). I asked Adam if he ever listened to Frank, he said "a bit". Phil is a Zappa fan. yay!
^Phil explaining how Ahmet Zappa wants him to play on his album and reciting some of the obscene lyrics 🙂
< Adam is very polite, nice guy.. (needs to dump that singer though)
It is now 7:35 am and I am STILL UP. Have to get up in a few hours and massage at the MOTORHEAD show here in Berlin..ttyl
I know, I know, it has taken me 6 days to complete this blog, but I am dam busy- hard to believe I know. No matter, the sweet taste/smell/sound of Juliette and her Licks are still fresh in my mind. Honestly, I had only heard that she has a band a year ago in NYC, my Jewish friend, Seth Abrams, who is very good friends with the band H20 told me about Juliette and the Licks, that they were playing in NYC and he wanted to bring me but at the last minute, it fell through, blah blah, apparently it was sold out as fuck and I couldn't be bothered to try to work/con/beg my way in, so I missed the show. Seth said it was amazing and I now know that was an understatement. I formed my band just this past April and was told by a few that I remind them of Juliette and I hadn't seen any of her videos or even heard any of her songs. Now that I have seen/heard her, I though "fuck it, why even bother! I will just throw in the towel right now, no point in even trying". This woman RULES Rock and Roll (and even Punk). She does stuff on stage I wouldn't dare do, things I couldn't do, things David Lee Roth did in his prime, things Iggy Pop tried to do. "She will rock you" (see the Rolling Stone magazine cover she graced).
When I showed Juliette this picture I printed out for her to sign ^ I said "I hope your band isn't upset that I just have a picture of you instead of the whole band" she smiled and said "oh please, they are SO used to 'the Juliette show' ". She is sooooo funny, I was laughing my ass off the whole night..
I massaged some of the band before Juliette even arrived. They were on a tiny Promo tour and were already all knotted up, tired and stressed out. They are NOT getting special treatment, they are paying their dues like all bands do. Living on 3 hours of sleep a day, riding in buses instead of sleeping in hotels and yes, barely getting paid.
I know Juliette from her films, From Dusk til Dawn, Hysterical Blindness (my favorite), What's eating Gilbert Grape, California, Natural Born Killers and Cape Fear, etc etc…she has done about 50 films in 8 years, I think she is a work-o-holic. It seems she has just put the movie star career on the back burner to focus 100% on the Rock star career. It was a big risk and for the life of me, I can't think of another actor/actress that has done it successfully, but she is on her way to being the next female icon. I won't dare compare her to Janis Joplin, as Juliette is of course hotter, very modern, very very flexible and she stage dives, head first, then crowd surfs without fear, something Janis nor any other female rock/pop star has done, to my knowledge. She flirts with the audience sometimes in between songs and everyone, even females, melt.
She couldn't have chosen a better band to back her, they are tight and in person, are super cool, no attitudes, no ego's just great musicians (oh, they are all hot too, but that's besides the point completely).
Set list ^
This is Todd, formerly of H20 (just google it ok?). Seth lives or lived in the same building as Todd ^ in NYC. Todd is calm, cool, collected and extreme eye candy. The band has her back, the click so well together.
Kemble, is also extreme eye candy ^ , is very polite and friendly and WAILS on guitar!
The drummer is fairly new, not sure why they changed drummers, but this one learned all of their songs in 3 weeks. His name is Ed ^ and he is from Austin, Texas. I totally kicked his ass; wonder if he could move properly the next day.. but he needed it. Drummers always need deep tissue massage, more than anyone else in the band…
< Kemble in action
I did get a new camera – a bigger and better Sony cyber shot with 7.2 mega pixels, but still, it's not the best camera for onstage shots.
The band came out in full force and never let up. They had the crowd going mad, they were slam dancing so wildly that even I was getting crushed and tossed around and I was waaaay up front on the side near the amplifier (my ears are still ringing). She brings out the crazy fucking Indian in you, she makes you want to play, get sweaty and just ROCK.
It must have been hard when she first started out with her band, I can imaging the critics bashing her before she even started "oh great, another star wanting to change careers". But I am sure they have eaten their words now, as if you hear her sing, you can't imagine why she ever chose a career doing anything else. Even if being a Rock star for a while was a role she wanted to try out, she has become THAT rock star, she IS the REAL DEAL.
I imagined since she is such a well know movie star that she would have a big hair and make up crew on tour with her, body guards and personal assistants to grant her every wish. I was dead wrong. She has NONE of those. Paul, the tour manager, takes good care of her. He, by the way, multi tasks, he does tour/production and personally catches her when she is done body surfing. Juliette is lucky to be surrounded by so many great people who all care about her and want to help make this Rock and Roll journey work like a charm.
^ If you watch closely, you will see Paul (big blonde man) helping Juliette after her crowd surfing
Juliette spoke to me while we all had dinner in the catering room as if she knew me for years. She makes you feel welcome and comfortable. Actually, she is pretty much exactly how I imagined she would be, similar to the role she played in "What's eating Gilbert Grape". Laid back, FUN, cute as hell and sexy without even trying.
Everyone is drawn to her and her irresistible charisma. She is NO DIVA, she is the opposite, a pure rock chick , running around without any make up, worn out jeans and an old YES concert t-shirt on, before and after the show. She wanted her scalp and feet done before the show and when I was doing her feet, she said when her band makes it big, and she can afford me, she wants to bring me on the road to massage her every day. For me, that is the biggest compliment *sigh*.. I am still purring. I did warn her that she would want to marry me when she tried my foot massage. She was really loving it (note to men: I TOLD you, ALL women want is their fucking FEET DONE properly, so get busy).
After the show I massaged her again… she was really ill that night, a cold and living off of 3 hours of sleep over the last few days.
She still looks amazing in my opinion, not that she cares, she is SO not into the whole hair and make up thingy. She carries her own bags and didn't make any demands at all.
The band did a rather long meet and greet after the show even though they were dead tired. She posed with people for pictures and signed loads of autographs like a champ.
Watching her and seeing how much work this REALLY involves ( I have seen it for years, but watching her do it from scratch was different). I really saw first had what it takes to keep a band going, it's SO MUCH WORK, it actually turned me off wanting to take my band to the next level. Touring is HELL and it takes so much out of you. I felt sorry for the whole band and wish I could have gave them SLEEP as a present on top of the brutal massages. I over heard her mention that she just turned down a HBO series, which would have been amazing for her career, to keep working with her band. She said "I'm gonna ride this thing until the fucking wheels fall off!!!". Now THAT is Rock and Roll.
Their two month tour started yesterday (see the dates below) and if they are heading to a town near you, please go check them out, you won't believe your eyes and ears.
These pictures are from their myspace page ^ you can hear my favorite song of theirs American Boy on there…check it!
Sep 26 2006 8:00 Concorde 2 Brighton Sep 27 2006 8:00 Astoria London Sep 28 2006 8:00 MDH Manchester Sep 29 2006 8:00 Leadmill Sheffield Okt 2 2006 8:00 Rescue Rooms Nottingham Okt 3 2006 8:00 The Village Dublin Okt 4 2006 8:00 ABC Glasgow Okt 5 2006 8:00 Metropolitan University Leeds Okt 8 2006 8:00 Backstage Werk Munich Okt 10 2006 8:00 New Estragon Bologna Okt 11 2006 8:00 Rolling Stone Milano Okt 12 2006 8:00 Usine Geneva Okt 13 2006 8:00 Cooperative de Mai Clermont-Ferrand Okt 14 2006 8:00 Vents Des Suds Toulouse Okt 16 2006 8:00 Sala Apolo Barcelona Okt 17 2006 8:00 Sala Arena Madrid Okt 18 2006 8:00 Kafe Antzokia Bilbao Okt 20 2006 8:00 Trabendo Paris Okt 21 2006 8:00 Den Atelier Luxembourg City Okt 22 2006 8:00 Uebel & Gefaehrlich Hamburg Okt 23 2006 8:00 Pumpehuset Copenhagen Okt 25 2006 8:00 Folken Stavenger Okt 26 2006 8:00 John Dee Oslo Okt 28 2006 8:00 Trädgårn Gothenburg Okt 29 2006 8:00 KB Malmo Okt 30 2006 8:00 Debaser Medis Stockholm Okt 31 2006 8:00 Platensbar Linkoping Nov 4 2006 8:00 Palladium Warsaw Nov 5 2006 8:00 Roxy Prague Nov 7 2006 8:00 Coccon Club Frankfurt Nov 8 2006 8:00 Gloria Koln Nov 9 2006 8:00 Starclub Dresden Nov 10 2006 8:00 Riff Bochum Nov 11 2006 8:00 Karlstorbahnhof Heidelberg Nov 13 2006 8:00 Paradiso Amsterdam Nov 14 2006 8:00 Solus Bar Cardiff Nov 15 2006 8:00 Wedgewood Rooms Portsmouth Nov 16 2006 8:00 University Newcastle
My friend (right) Fabi and his girlfiend (left) are soooooo smitten with Juliette. They begged me to introduced them. Fabi helped produce
a song for my band and he is super cool, so I did. This picture cracks me up, it looks like Fabi is punching his girl in the face. lol.
I took this shot of the band just minutes after they got off stage.. Juliette is so low maintenance, so naturally beautiful.
^ Jason, the bass player is the only one I didn't get a solo picture of, he was really busy with his new lap top, and I came to this conclusion about Rock stars, Lap tops are
the main reason modern day rock/pop stars stay out of trouble now a days. They now have something constructive to do before and after the show, surf online, mainly on myspace.com. Whereas years ago, before the internet / Lap tops were so popular and easy to get, the artist would be bored out of their minds on tour, as they are only on stage for 2 hours, what the FUCK else do you expect them to do the other 22 hours? No wonder Jimi, Janis, Keith, Jim and co. all partied too hard, it's fucking boring waiting around for show time. So in some perverted way, the internet has saved Rock and Roll. Amen.
Q. My girl and I are very much in love, so there's no problem in that respect. The thing is, we've had better sex before, in that she used to cum once or maybe twice 'per intercourse' 🙂 but now I can't seem to satisfy her so much anymore. It seems that I cum too fast, it's like I've trained my body to enjoy too much too fast, or she's just too good. How do I get to please my woman again? Thanx! Quick Shooter Shane
A. You should "train" yourself to eat her pussy until she cums before you even get in there, where you "accidentally" cum to fast. Make it your goal to hear her scream and moan with pleasure, then celebrate your victory by giving her a good dose of your liquid love.
Q. I have a problem I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and in those two years of having sex with him I have not came ONCE! I don't know what the problem is. When we have sex i cant feel anything its like it is 'numb'.. please tell me what my problem.. Numb Nelly
A. Sounds like you are with the wrong boyfriend if 2 years have gone by, no orgasm and you "can't feel anything". Ask yourself these questions: Have I climaxed with other men in the past? and Can I make myself cum? If the answer to both of these questions are yes, the problem could be he isn't doing you correctly, you need to speak up and show him EXACTLY how to make you cum. If the answer to the questions is NO, then you need to spend more quality time alone, working on how to trip your own trigger, then once you learn that, integrate it into your sex life, making sure you show him everything. This "numb" feeling and the fact you can't feel anything could mean he is too boring and/or small for your snatch for you to be shagging him. "I've gotta spot that get's me hot, and you ain't been to it"
Q. Prior to me, my ex-girlfriend dated guys with bigger penises than mine. She always told me it was tiny to just tease me and when I broke up with her she told everyone I had a small one, and my friends never stopped picking on me for 3 years. I know I’m a little over 5 inches and that should be around average but being told you have a small penis for 3 years will subconsciously make me fear it is, even if I know it isnt. But now, I have a new girlfriend, I really love her and she loves me, and I cant describe how compatible we are on a sexual and sensual level and when were kissing, but I just found out that her ex and first boyfriend had a 9 inch penis (despite knowing you should never ask about exes). We haven’t had sex yet, but were both nearing the point where we want to. Will my 5-inch dick satisfy my girlfriend, even if the guy before me had a long willy? Does the vagina get bigger after a big one? She also told me her and her ex never finished actual intercourse, despite trying many times, because it was painful for her. I understand that this may just be my ego talking, because it just might be big-mouthed ex-girlfriend all over again, but even though, I really want to give my woman the best mind-blowing sex ever. I bet I can give her a rocking time with foreplay or going down on her, because kissing for the two of us is amazing and only fuels our passion even more… but I just want to know if I can still pleasure her in actual intercourse. And I can’t go down on her because she thinks its disgusting. So all I can do is foreplay, play with her down there, and intercourse.
A. Telling a new boyfriend about her ex's big cock is just as mean as you telling your new girlfriends that your ex was a rich model, it's just plain evil. You should stop them in their tracks when they do this and tell them "uh that's too much information darling", OR "that's so funny you say that as my last girlfriends pussy was MUCH tighter than yours". You have to convince her to let you lick her pussy. This will be your golden ticket to winning her over for good. Massage her feet for over 20 minutes, while she sips some gorgeous red wine. Lick and massage her calves, thighs, she may not notice when you start to lick her clit, nice and slow, like cow with a big tongue. You simply have to convince her to let you try. Don't worry about your cock size, as long as it stays hard and you make her cum, that's all you need. You should be happy you got rid of that mean HOLE who made fun of your penis size.
< Mean hole
Q.
I've been seeing this girl for a while now, we met, started kissing…..later on sex…you know the score, took our time etc etc. Now when she first started blowing me she did not swallow. I did'nt mind cause cum dont taste that good to me. Now we have been together for 3 months she has started to hold my balls look me in the eyes and swallow. It makes me feel great. I feel in love with her within weeks. I was not sure how she felt about me, i guess i am trying to ask is does the fact that she has started to swallow (and give other extras in bed) point to the fact she is really falling for me. A friend ( a girl) told me most girls only swallow for guys they REALLY like.??? Spunky Steve
A. Woah "Cum don't taste that good to me". Bravo for admitting you taste your own spunk, takes a real man to do that. Well, I'm guessing it's your own spunk you are talking about (?). Anyways, YES!, it means she digs you now, she accepts you and every drop of you. Now don't fuck it up by asking her "Do you love me?". Just enjoy!
It’s embarrassing how much time has passed since I met and massaged Jeff Beck and I am just now blogging about it. I think it was 8 weeks ago? This show was July 15, 2006.
Nevertheless, he is fresh in my mind. Jeff is SO FUCKING FUNNY, he could just hang up the guitar and do comedy, but his main passion, I found out, is restoring old
cars, working on them, making them gorgeous… I think he LOVES music, but just does it still to support his car hobby 🙂
The man hasn’t an arrogant bone in his body, so polite and humble, so real, so fucking cool! I was in heaven that day, sun was shining, Jeff Beck on guitar, Vinnie Colaiuta on drums, the band was amazing. Buddy guy opened and I could HEAR him play through the open window in the dressing room (it was an outside gig at little castle) but I couldn’t see him as I was busy massaging Jeff and Vinnie. I know Vinnie from his days with Zappa and then later, Sting. Vinnie is hysterical as well, so my face hurt from laughing the next day.
Jeff told me a lot of funny things that happened to him in his life and about his relationship with Roger Waters, who I had just massaged recently as well. Roger is a HUGE Jeff BECK fan and he “felt honored” to have Jeff play on his ‘Amused to Death’ album. A LOT of people want to hire Jeff, but he is simply too busy and sometimes can’t be bothered. He does what he wants and when he wants it, but is never arrogant about. I have heard first hand that he was chosen to be the next Rolling Stone after Brian Jones died; but Jeff just never hung around for the audition. He just didn’t give a shit. It’s an amazing balance he has, being that confident but not at all arrogant, one that I have seldom come across in show biz. I doubt he has any enemies, they all love him and want him to play with their band, but Jeff is hard to get, just naturally, not a calculated hard to get, if you know what I mean.
;;
;;
The show was predominately male (ladies, keep that in mind, if you want to meet COOL men with great taste in music, go see ANY Zappa tribute band, Steve Vai and/or
Jeff Beck in concert, you can have your pick!). Jeff’s show was only instrumental. He said sometimes he has some woman on tour with him singing (Beth Hart)
and she sounds ike Janis. Of course when I heard that I sang him a few bars of Bobby McGee and told him I am for hire (heh heh).
I stood in front of the stage watching him in awe and my friend was chatting a bit to me (not loudly) about something that had just happened in the crowd and a
Jeff Beck fan screamed “How the FUCK can you talk during a Jeff Beck guitar solo!????”. Nuff said.
“
Vinnie warming up backstage
Vinnie is So adorable, so fucking fun! Last time I saw him was when he was on tour with Sting, and I think that was 9 years ago. He and Terri Bozzio are the best drummers around (yes, I LOVE John Bonham, I am talking living drummers). Vinnie doesn’t even know how many fans he has. He just plays, He is so straight now, no booze, no smoking, just music and that’s it. Sooner or later the rockers realize they have to get and stay healthy if they want to remain in the strenuous rock and roll circus and that includes getting a massage whenever possible. They know when I am around, they are in for extreme deep tissue and they know I will make they cry like babies. They love it. My massage team is known for it’s brutal capabilities and we have been labeled the ‘Pit Bulls of Massage’. Music to my ears *sigh*.
If you want to hear Vinnie on a great Frank Zappa cd, just get “Joe’s Garage” and you will see why he is so sought after….
< when he toured with Sting
After the show, Jeff and I were standing in the production office and he was pouring very expensive champagne into my glass
and my friends glass too (Jeff is SUPER generous!). We were just shooting the breeze and telling jokes when a German security guard came up to
us and since she knows me (I am rather known here in Berlin) she looked and us both and said “well, there are many fans out side and they want to know
how long you will be back here” and before anyone had a chance to say anything I belted out “tell them I am busy and they will have to wait”.
Jeff and I both burst out laughing. That’s the kind of humor Jeff has, not stiff at all, he loves a good laugh. Love him!
^ Jeff’s reaction when he found out where the ‘Cosmopolitain’ drink was made famous
After the show my friend (male friend by the way) and I were invited by Jeff to join them all on the bus (don’t make a fuss, just get on the bus) for
some “special” drink that Jeff likes to make everyone. Of course we came along happily, it’s not every day, nor every year Jeff invites you for some bevy’s.
We were all cracking up and exchanging stories, and Jeff played bar tender. He was so excited to mix this drink for me, one he thought I had never heard of before.
He handed it to me and said “this, my dear, is called a “Cosmopolitan“. Now, any girl who was hooked on “Sex and the City” like I was has heard of that drink years ago.
I was like “uh, Jeff, that drink was made famous on Sex and the City”. He was like “eh?” . He had never seen it. I explained that it’s a show that had 4 women on it and they always talked about men and went out and drank that drink. He went “WOT!??? I’ve been making and drinking a GIRLS DRINK!???” The whole bus roared with laughter.
Vinnie wanted a foot massage on the bus, so I gave him one. He made faces and noises like I’ve never seen before. I said “you sound like me the first time I had anal sex”
Again, the bus was hysterical. I am telling you this lot knows how to laugh, even the bus driver was hilarious. If you see Jeff Beck heading to a town near you,
it will be worth every penny to go see him, he is the BOMB!!!!
Moving right along. I got a new camera, as you can see and I am trying out the video options as often as possible.
This is a view from my favorite town in the USA, Hoboken. Hoboken is better than NYC because it is only 5 minutes away from NYC
yet still clean, safe, cheaper, friendlier, etc. I just LOVE that place… I walk down the street and I seem to know everyone and vice versa.
I love that small town feeling, but I have to have the big city at hand, and as you can see from that video, it’s REALLY at hand..
ps. Flying back and forth is killing me. You can’t bring any lip stick, lotion, powder, tooth paste, you can’t bring FUCK ALL on the plane anymore, which makes my Pet Peeve, flying, even worse now. They do sell, however, expensive as FUCK lotion etc, on board, how convenient, those wankers! Yeah, you Hetro men won’t have a clue what I’m on about but us ladies/queers know, we need lotion and chap stick at least or we dry up like raisins. I put some lotion into a condom, tied it into a knot and crammed it up my, yeah, there. You have to be smarter than the average bear to make things happen. So I had my lotion! heh heh.
I didn’t have much time to play recently in NYC but I did manage to see some of my friends….
This was our official 2nd show as BITCHFEST. What pissed me off is the FUCKING FOG. Here it’s not too bad
but at some points I couldn’t (1) Breath (2) see the audience or my band. WTF!??????
For me the BEST part of the show was watching Jasmine climb up on stage and then crowd surf. Then, during
Back in Black, I did as well. This was my first time crowd surfing and it was fucking FUN! I will do this from now
on. How often does one see a daughter, then the Mom crowd surf at the same show? It was fucking hilarious.
I had to have a word with the German crowd though, as at first the crowd surfing didn’t work. Jasmine and her friends
were just let down, as in, dropped. I was like “hello, you’re supposed to catch and carry the bodies, not stand there and sip
your drinks and laugh”. They finally got the hang of it and it was marvelous. The sound man made a crappy video and sound
recording and when I figure out how to up load it, i will post it. You can see Jasmine surf and then me for a bit too).
From left to right, Vitri (back up vocals, Chrisi (drummers girlfriend, me and Danielle, back up vocals ^
Dr. Cock likes to draw cartoons, this one is of He and I ^ My friend Martin^ (Aussi) and some unknown dude backstage
Um, after the show, we had fun with my camera… don’t ask.^
Communication Breakdown
Tush
Move over
Dot welcomes audience
Black Dog
You really Got me < Back up singers come on stage
Heart Breaker < Back up singers
Dirty Deeds < Back up Singers (leave stage After Dirty Deeds)
American Woman
Dot introduces band
Highway to hell
Helter Skelter
*Back up singers come back on stage, Dot introduces them
Piece of my Heart < Back up singers
Back in Black < Back up Singers
BAND LEAVES STAGE
ENOCRE:
SANSI (drummer) COMES BACK ALONE FIRST AND DOES:
Moby Dick
(whole band comes out now)
Whole Lotta Love
Twist and Shout < Back up singers come and sing and twist/dance
Our set list ^
I have known “Fricky” since 1992. He is really strange, an artist. He let me draw the Zappa stache on him, yes! ^
Danielle, me and Sarah (she is from Sweden) partied ALL night after the BITCHFEST show…..
THIMO my guitarist will cheat on us this Wednesday 🙂 ^
Check him out, he ROCKS!!!!!
< The newspaper the next day, after the BITCHFEST show….itvch
< BB is the KING!
I saw BB KING live this past Thursday. It was one of the best show’s I have ever seen. He almost had me in tears
when he told the crowd he would never be passing through this town again, as he is “80, almost 81 years old” and his health
isn’t the greatest. I had to literally swallow my tears. He was so charming and funny how he told the crowd so many tiny stories and
his voice, Jesus, even if he didn’t play a mean guitar, I would pay to just hear the man sing. BB, I LOVE YOU!!!!!
He even went so far as to have painted his crappy bike a light blue (shitty hand painted job to disguise himself while on the get away vehicle).
< Rite Aide
< Shai singing some country song that mentions "Wal Mart" repeatedly
"There's no place like home"
< Adam is very polite, nice guy.. (needs to dump that singer though)
< Kemble in action
< Mean hole
< If she swallows, it means she likes you
;;
“
< The newspaper the next day, after the BITCHFEST show….itvch
