Q.
Why do most men pull away after sex and seem so disconnected?
Brown Sugar
A.
Men are not wired like women are. A very sarcastic but realistic way to get straight to
the point: "Men cuddle to Fuck and Women fuck to cuddle". You simply can not take this
personally. In fact, I found that the more apathetic I am after sex, the more the male
wants to cuddle. They feel SO intimate and out of control when they have sex that they
have to reestablish their Independence by pulling away, it usually happens subconsciously,
they aren't even aware that they are acting slightly selfish. I think cuddling is over
rated anyways; once you are both finished with sex, give each other some freakin' space to
breathe… Girls get energy, men basically slip into an after sex coma, they want to savor
the orgasm and talking or cuddling can be distracting. Let them pull away, they will come
to you when they need/want to, let them lead, there is no point making an issue out of it.
use this time (when he is busy on cloud nine) to go wash your naughty parts or get a glass
of water/wine etc..Don't stress, just let things flow and understand, that is how men behave
after sex..
Q.
There is this guy that I’ve been friends with for about 6 months. we are very
close and talk to each other almost every day, go out for lunch often and
travel together. He’s in the music business but not in a band. He’s a really
good guy and I've fallen for him, even though I didn’t find him initially
attractive. He says he cares for me and would do anything for me – even
offered me money when I was short on bills – I declined the offer. Basically,
takes very good care of me. One BIG problem – he's married. Now, nothing
physical has happened between us, as I have too much respect for him to ruin
his life. I don’t think his wife knows that I even exist – but I have
tremendous guilt about being so close with a married man. it's easy for most
people to say, then back off – but every time I have I miss him tremendously
and he calls from wherever he happens to be (even if it's Japan) to see where
I’ve been and if I’m ok. I know nothing about his relationship with his wife –
not even her name. although he talks about the rest of his family. there are
no children. Having been married, I know that he should not be keeping me as a
close friend and if I were his wife I would not want him around me. But, I
have kept it at arms length and even when we are drinking nothing has
happened. He has said on more than one occasion, "if he weren't married . ."
I guess what I’m looking for is advice on if I’m doing something wrong here.
He is always the one to contact me – I never call him – when I need to ask
him something I’ll send him a text or email – he calls me back or for no reason
at all. Ok – I’m done babbling
– give it to me!
Ramble-on Rose
A.
When someone takes the big plunge, as in, standing in front of a crowd saying
“I do” and “till death do us part” they should lie in the bed they’ve made. You feel
guilty because you know it’s not cool. Men are the gas and women are the breaks.
Also, the more time you spend with a taken man, the less time you have to meet
and get closer to a single man.
A LOT of married men say "if I weren't married" and "I will leave her soon" etc..
it's usually fucking bullshit. They give their best to the mistress and the wife
gets the tired fucking left-overs. I am not prude at all, just have seen WAY too
many girlfriends get hurt from married men and vice versa.
Why even bother hanging with a taken man? It will only lead to no good and if he
did leave his wife for you, you could never trust him; he could very well be taking
care of some other single woman, paying her bills and checking in on her etc.
If he is in the nurturing mood, he should have a child. If he doesn't like his marriage,
he should leave his wife, but not in the cowardly way (for another) he should end it,
wait a while, then try for you. This is yet another reason why I frown upon marriage.
It’s old fashioned and it seems the pressure of marriage is what makes people want to
stray. There are millions of single men, why waste time on a taken one?
Q.
Dear Dr. Dot,
I’m currently seeing this girl, and it’s going very well. She seems to like
me very much and the sex is great. But I’m used to more sexually adventurous
partners, and while I’m not bothered by the fact that she isn’t as
experimental as my usual type, there is one thing I wish she’d change- she
doesn’t swallow.
She dodges my cum whenever I finish anywhere outside of her (we are protected)
and often runs to the sink to spit it out if it’s in her mouth. I know she’s
happy when I do cum (and she cums frequently), but I just wish she would play
with my cum a little, feel it on her skin or taste it or something, anything
(I’ve been told by previous partners that I taste nice). How can I bring this
up without seeming needy or fetishistic?
-Needy Ejaculating Dude.
A.
I know many women who don't like to give head let alone swallow
a guys tide. Sometimes it's not the taste that makes a girl run
for the sink, it's the thought of doing it, texture and/or amount of spunk
she gets in her mouth. Are you a chunky style man? This will make most
girls gag. If not, it could be she was brought up thinking it's disgusting to
swallow or just plain find it unhygienic.
As with all things, communication is important, you
have to hint around to her like "it would turn me on if you let me cum
onto your tits" or "rub my juice all over your face ok sweetie?" Tell her it’s
good for her skin, which is true BUT make sure you don’t get any of your spunk
in her eyes! It stings like hell, makes the eye swell up and it will stay
blood red for hours. If after you ask her to do it and she still resists, you
may have to soothe yourself with the fact that you are at least getting oral
sex on a regular basis. Not
everyone can say that.
Q.
I was wondering if you could tell me where the line is between
charming persistence and creepy stalking. It sounds corny, but I’ve got a
crush on a girl, and I don't want to ease so much that she falls for someone
else, but I also don't want her to get a restraining order against me; not that
I’ve done anything to merit one. My problem is I have plenty of confidence,
which I've been told is the most important thing, but my form is – how sh ould I
put this – potentially intimidating.
At 6 feet tall and 255 lbs., with growing out damn near every hole in me,
I've been told by people who know me that to people who don't, I look like a
crazy mountain man. Of course, almost all of their suggestions include the words
"scissors", "contact lenses", and "American Eagle"; or something to that effect.
I am very fond of my mane, and the ancestry that it comes from, and see no
reason why I should have shave down and spend half my paycheck on my
wardrobe? To make a long story short (too late, I know), I need to know if there
is indeed a line between persistence and stalking, and how to identify it. I
would imagine it's different for every woman, and if so, is that an indication
of what type of woman she is? I would greatly appreciate your input on the
situation as a woman, as listening to my male friends has led to nothing.
willing to learn,
Mountain Man
p.s.: if you could, please use my question in your column. I’m sure there
lonely souls out there, both male and female, who are lonely as well; simply for
lack of knowing where the line is drawn.
A.
Try to tune into her actions and tone of voice when you talk to her:
Does she sound happy to hear from you when you call or say hello?
Does she smile and look into your eyes? Does she tell you when she is free?
It REALLY helps if you tune into a girl's signs. If we don't like a guy, we
find excuses to avoid meeting up with them and we turn off (not smiling, ending
each conversation as fast as possible). Ask her out for lunch or to a movie, if she
says yes, she doesn't hate you. Also, never call a girl everyday, as this may
either bore her or make her too secure. Keep her on her toes by quality not
quantity communication.
Things that are NOT a good idea are (a) showing up at her home or work place unannounced-
and I mean NEVR do this, even if you are dating for a long time. It's still called
STALKING and is the biggest, creepiest turn off! (b) Book a vacation for two without
asking her. These kind of surprises are too pushy and in my eyes, a sign that you are in
for more controlling behavior, even if it is disguised as a generous gesture.
Just because you are a big hairy oaf, doesn't mean girls
won't fall for you. A lot of women love big, hairy men. They want the opposite
of themselves, someone big and warm to protect them. Yoko Ono sang it best "every
man has a woman who loves him". Chin up and keep trying.
x
Q.
I just broke up with my boyfriend a little over a week a go, and I did agree to
be friends. Problem is, he does not seem to get that we have broken up. He still
calls me more then 10 times a day, still calls me pet names, and still thinks we
can go out on random dates. Recently I planned on going out on a date with
someone new. He didn't seem to get that I didn't need his help with the new guy.
He just kept calling that whole day asking if I needed help getting to where I
was meeting the new guy. He just doesn't get it. He still even says he loves me
and goes in between saying 'I want you back' and 'if you want to move on, don't
let me stop you.' What do I do about the clingy psycho?
Another problem, I'm interested in a guy that is in my lab. Can't quite tell if
he reciprocates the feeling. What are the normal signs you males give off? What
can I say? I'm bi and mainly spend my time girl watching. Not seeing of a guy
likes me back.
Beautiful Bi Bitch
A.
I am curious as to why you ended it with your ex. This would help
me help you. It is normal after a break up that one still holds on, so his behavior
isn't really psycho, he just can't seem to let go as easy as you can.
You must be able to see his number on your phone when he calls, so stop
answering his calls if you REALLY want him to stop calling! You are not doing him
any favors; you are merely making him suffer as he wants more than friendship and you don't.
You have to tell him the truth. If you want him out of your life, tell him you want
a change and you need time alone to think. Even if you think there is a slight chance of
you two getting back together, tell him you need time to think. You need space and time.
Take advantage of the Caller ID on your phone and stop answering him.
About the guy in your lab. If you can't tell he likes you, it isn't even worth
your time. Men let the ladies know when they are interested. It's not the female’s job
to drag it out of him. Men pursue, women are pursued. Naturally this doesn’t apply to
gays/lesbians/bi’s. But if it’s a heterosexual man you want, let him lead, for the best results.
Q.
Is it safe to cum inside my pregnant wife? I don’t want to make her have twins or cause any harm.
I hate condoms and I am too horney to wait until it comes out.
Freaked out Frank
A.
You are either too naive or dumb to be procreating anyways, but I will answer you to calm your nerves.
No, it won’t harm the baby (unless you fuck around with other women without a condom and drag some nasty
disease home to your wife). And you can’t get pregnant women pregnant again.
* Send all your questions to me, I will change your name to save your sorry ass from embarrassment
x
