Tag: ask

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot ( Buy her new boobs?/ Catching up on the Pill & Groupie love)

This is my syndicated Sex Column. Feel free to write me with any problems you may be having and no need to be shy, I always change the person's names around.

x

 

Q.
How can I politely hint to my girlfriend that I want to buy her a new pair of tits for her Birthday?
 Hers are nice but less than a handful. I love her but need more Breasts.
Tittie Man Stan

 


A.
She will either be offended (imagine she bought you a penis extension because your knob wasn’t big enough for
 her) OR she will let you buy them and get turned on by all that extra attention she is suddenly getting from men
(her confidence may soar) and she may want to try them out on those other, adoring men, who also love her new
 implants. Unless your girl asks you for them, it’s probably better just to enjoy what she has and use your
imagination. Don’t fix what isn’t broken.


Q.
I am probably too young to be reading your column (I am a 15 year old girl) but I learn a lot from you and education
 is never a bad thing. I am on the pill and sometimes I forget to take one. I have a steady boyfriend and yes,
 we do screw very often. My question is, what if I sleep over his house and forget a pill or two, can I make it
 up by taking them when I get home? I don’t want to get pregnant; my Dad would kill both of us.
Little Suzy

c


A.
No, you can not make up for forgotten pills. If you take two at once, you will throw up violently (well, it may take 3
to make you blow chunks). You just have to be religious about taking them. Take one every morning you wake and if you miss a day, take it the next morning you can. The only way to avoid getting knocked up is by using condoms or not fucking at all. If you missed a day or two, put a rubber on him to be extra safe. If he whines about the condom (like most guys do) tell him it’s sexier to wear a condom than to be changing diapers.


Q.
I have fallen for probably one of the most unavailable men on the planet and can't get myself unhooked. I keep showing up at his gigs, as he is a hot Brooklyn rocker dude, he keeps coming home with me, or in the past, me to his, and we have sex – which is OK. And then he leaves a few hours later. The sex has been increasingly more like 'meat and potatoes' mainly because I think he does not want me to get too attached to him and fall in love. He never takes me out on a date – we only have sex after his gigs, I am a 38 year old groupie to a 40+ rocker. Why do I do this? Because I love the warmth he creates at his shows, because I think he is a brilliant writer and I am in love with his voice and have found so much music I like through him.
 This has been going on and off for a year and a half. I don't want to marry him – just have some sort of passionate breakthrough -how can I make him feel something and show it?
 -Groupie Love


A.
First of all, if you fall for unavailable men, you may subconsciously feel you don’t deserve to be loved. Dig deep, find out why and fix it.
I am totally against trying to convince a man to like you. The men either love you, or they don't. I have also been in your shoes, and it doesn't feel good, it feels like you are number 2, or maybe even number 3 and that is not good for one's self esteem.
You are settling for tiny scraps of affection he tosses your way when it's convenient for him.
It may go on like that forever, or until you demand more.
Dating a pop/rock star is never easy (look at Jerry Hall, Pam Anderson, Heather Locklear).
If the man isn't head over heels for you by now, he never will be.
I am sorry if you were expecting tips on how to convince him to love you, but I have to speak my mind. Great blow jobs do keep a man happy,
 but you should only do that if you like to do it, not to convince a guy you are the one for him.
Successful and famous men are used to having women fall at their feet and do whatever they want, whenever they want, so they usually end up
falling for a women who doesn't give a fuck about their fame or fortune, one that acts indifferent; one who is a challenge. All men LOVE a challenge and face it, you aren't one for him. You are his booty call, and maybe not his only booty call.
Shake things up a bit by not being available for the monthly meat & potatoes. Maybe it would heat things up if you went to one of his shows with a hot male "friend" to finally see if he gives a shit or not. I totally understand the groupie love; the hero worship; I would probably do the same for Paul McCartney, but then again, I would pretend to not really care about who he is, like Heather did when she met him (yeah, right, an English girl who doesn’t know who the Beatles are). Only difference would be I wouldn't fuck it up like she did.

 

 Q.
My wife got pregnant last summer and she miscarried about six weeks into the pregnancy.

She thinks it happened because we had sex right before she lost the baby. The sex was a

little rough, but everything I've ever heard is that there's

 no way having sex can cause a miscarriage. There's many other factors that could have

caused it, and she knows it. For one thing she smokes, even when she's pregnant.

She's pregnant again, and she's afraid to have sex,

fearing it could cause her to lose this one too, yet she's still smoking as much as ever.

I just don't understand this. Doctors have told her, smoking is not good for the baby,

having sex will not hurt the baby. Yet she's more focused on giving up sex rather than her smokes.

How can I convince her that it's okay to have sex, but put it gently that maybe the smoking has

been the problem the whole time?

 

Future daddy–or not?

A.

Sex will not cause a miscarriage. Smoking will. Smoking increases the risk

of losing a genetically normal baby. Women who smoke more than

14 cigarettes a day are about twice as likely to miscarry.

The risk of miscarriage increases with the number of cigarettes a woman smokes.

Women who smoke during pregnancy are ignorant and selfish.

Go online with her and surf, there are endless articles that prove sex is FINE

during pregnancy, and smoking is can be deadly. I feel for you buddy, I really do.

 

 

Q.

I wank nearly every day so I am worried would I run out off cum, so how many

times can we cum?

Young, Dumb and hopefully, full of cum

A.

Lucky for you, you are a never ending fountain of spunk. Your balls produce about

about 300 million sperm every time you cum; they start brewing a new

batch as soon as you shoot your wad. It's impossible to run out of sperm.

In fact, the more often a man cums, the more sperm he produces, which explains why

Men never use up all their sperm. Wank away my friend.

Q.
I am in a tough situation and bet you can help. I was friends with this guy long ago,
and he got married and I became best friends with his wife. In fact, I get along with
her much better than I ever did him. Before I became such great friends with her, he used
to ask me to let him use my apartment to screw other girls. As time passed, this stopped
because he noticed that his wife and I were best buddies. Now it bothers me badly not to
tell her the truth that I know he cheats on her. He doesn't treat her well anyways and I
just wish I could tell her he is not worth the stress he puts her through. I am afraid but
something inside me tells me she has to know. Do I tell her or not?
Stuck with the Truth


A.
Would YOU want to know if your man was cheating? Even though the truth will set you free,
it may well turn you into the enemy. The messenger usually gets shot. Some people are so
in love that they don't want to believe the truth, even if you had photographs of him
cheating, she may find a way to deny it; to defend him. She may end up thinking of you
as the one trying to break up her marriage. What would you gain? Nothing. If she is meant
to find out that her husband is a lair, and then she will. What will be, will be. If she finds
out and knows you knew all along and asks why you didn’t tell her, blame it on me.

Posted on

The NY Press passes the buck

Getting ready to have my tonsil operation. They will be removed Tuesday morning, bright and early ( I will probably just stay up as I have to be there at 6am).

The fact that the NY Press dumped a few of it's writers, me and Ed Koch (former NYC mayor) included because of their new format isn't as annoying as the fact that they probably knew ahead of time, like end of July that they would be dumping my column as that is why they didn't bother to pay me for all 4 of my August columns or the first week of September's column. For all 5 weeks, my column was printed but yet they won't pay. They are passing the buck. The new editor David Blum changes his story all the time. First excuse was "it will just take longer, but you will get paid". Then it was "It is not my responsibility" then he told the New York Post reporter Keith Kelly that I was already paid and that he is "only in charge since 1 August" (DUH, that means he should pay me for August and Sept, no? WTF!??). The New York Press is simply passing the buck.

 

LAWYER TIME. 

Jerry Portwood, the old editor, well, he is still there, but was demoted as now David Blum is the big cheese, claims it is the new editors responsibility. The paper simply disrespects it's writers; always has, always will. For the couple years I wrote for them, my column was ALWAYS punctual, yet my pay was always late. Always. They conveniently paid one month late and yet let me know one week before my column was dumped so you can imagine, I will never get paid. It's not the amount that bothers me, it is the principle that big corporations like Manhattan Media (which bought the paper recently ) can shit on the little people and get away with it.

The Libra in me is into justice and I can see it will take a while until Justice is served. I will keep you posted. Of course emails to David Blum and Jerry Portwood wouldn't hurt either. heh heh..

"Let it go" some say. Just let it go. Let the German guy who chased me (stalked me) and knocked me out in January get away with it, let the NY Press get away with having 5 weeks of my great sex column for free. Let everyone just go ahead and take advantage. Nice people get walked on, like a fucking rug. Karma is taking a break I see. Hope she gets back soon and kicks some serious ass. 

Jasmine is in Italy now, studying Italian. She loves it there. I will visit her in October.. she said where she is, is like the Kreuzberg of Italy. Hippies galore. Dread locks galore. Cross yer fingers she is safe over there, my little flower.

ttyl

x

 

 

Britney Spears finally explains ^ her less than excellent performance at the MTV "music" awards last week

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot lives on

 
Q.

Why do most men pull away after sex and seem so disconnected?

Brown Sugar

 

A.

Men are not wired like women are. A very sarcastic but realistic way to get straight to
the point: "Men cuddle to Fuck and Women fuck to cuddle". You simply can not take this
personally. In fact, I found that the more apathetic I am after sex, the more the male
wants to cuddle. They feel SO intimate and out of control when they have sex that they
have to reestablish their Independence by pulling away, it usually happens subconsciously,
they aren't even aware that they are acting slightly selfish. I think cuddling is over
rated anyways; once you are both finished with sex, give each other some freakin' space to
breathe… Girls get energy, men basically slip into an after sex coma, they want to savor
the orgasm and talking or cuddling can be distracting. Let them pull away, they will come
to you when they need/want to, let them lead, there is no point making an issue out of it.
use this time (when he is busy on cloud nine) to go wash your naughty parts or get a glass
of water/wine etc..Don't stress, just let things flow and understand, that is how men behave
after sex..

Q.

There is this guy that I’ve been friends with for about 6 months. we are very
close and talk to each other almost every day, go out for lunch often and
travel together. He’s in the music business but not in a band. He’s a really
good guy and I've fallen for him, even though  I didn’t find him initially
attractive. He says he cares for me and would do anything for me – even
offered me money when I was short on bills – I declined the offer. Basically,
takes very good care of me. One BIG problem – he's married. Now, nothing
physical has happened between us, as I have too much respect for him to ruin
his life. I don’t think his wife knows that I even exist – but I have
tremendous guilt about being so close with a married man. it's easy for most
people to say, then back off – but every time I have I miss him tremendously
and he calls from wherever he happens to be (even if it's Japan) to see where
I’ve been and if I’m ok. I know nothing about his relationship with his wife –
not even her name. although he talks about the rest of his family. there are
no children. Having been married, I know that he should not be keeping me as a
close friend and if I were his wife I would not want him around me. But, I
have kept it at arms length and even when we are drinking nothing has
happened. He has said on more than one occasion, "if he weren't married . ."
I guess what I’m looking for is advice on if I’m doing something wrong here.
He is always the one to contact me – I never call him – when I need to ask
him something I’ll send him a text or email – he calls me back or for no reason
at all. Ok – I’m done babbling

– give it to me!

Ramble-on Rose

 

A.

When someone takes the big plunge, as in, standing in front of a crowd saying
“I do” and “till death do us part” they should lie in the bed they’ve made. You feel
guilty because you know it’s not cool. Men are the gas and women are the breaks.
Also, the more time you spend with a taken man, the less time you have to meet
and get closer to a single man.
A LOT of married men say "if I weren't married" and "I will leave her soon" etc..
it's usually fucking bullshit. They give their best to the mistress and the wife
gets the tired fucking left-overs. I am not prude at all, just have seen WAY too
many girlfriends get hurt from married men and vice versa.

Why even bother hanging with a taken man? It will only lead to no good and if he
did leave his wife for you, you could never trust him; he could very well be taking
 care of some other single woman, paying her bills and checking in on her etc.

If he is in the nurturing mood, he should have a child. If he doesn't like his marriage,
 he should leave his wife, but not in the cowardly way (for another) he should end it,
 wait a while, then try for you.  This is yet another reason why I frown upon marriage.
 It’s old fashioned and it seems the pressure of marriage is what makes people want to
stray. There are millions of single men, why waste time on a taken one?

Q.
Dear Dr. Dot,
I’m currently seeing this girl, and it’s going very well. She seems to like
me very much and the sex is great. But I’m used to more sexually adventurous
partners, and while I’m not bothered by the fact that she isn’t as
experimental as my usual type, there is one thing I wish she’d change- she
doesn’t swallow.
She dodges my cum whenever I finish anywhere outside of her (we are protected)
and often runs to the sink to spit it out if it’s in her mouth. I know she’s
happy when I do cum (and she cums frequently), but I just wish she would play
with my cum a little, feel it on her skin or taste it or something, anything
(I’ve been told by previous partners that I taste nice). How can I bring this
up without seeming needy or fetishistic?
-Needy Ejaculating Dude.


A.
I know many women who don't like to give head let alone swallow
a guys tide. Sometimes it's not the taste that makes a girl run
for the sink, it's the thought of doing it, texture and/or amount of spunk
she gets in her mouth. Are you a chunky style man? This will make most
girls gag. If not, it could be she was brought up thinking it's disgusting to
swallow or just plain find it unhygienic.
As with all things, communication is important, you
have to hint around to her like "it would turn me on if you let me cum
onto your tits" or "rub my juice all over your face ok sweetie?" Tell her it’s
good for her skin, which is true BUT make sure you don’t get any of your spunk
in her eyes! It stings like hell, makes the eye swell up and it will stay
blood red for hours. If after you ask her to do it and she still resists, you
may have to soothe yourself with the fact that you are at least getting oral
sex on a regular basis. Not
everyone can say that.

Q.

 I was wondering if you could tell me where the line is between

charming persistence and creepy stalking. It sounds corny, but I’ve got a

crush on a girl, and I don't want to ease so much that she falls for someone

else, but I also don't want her to get a restraining order against me; not that

I’ve done anything to merit one. My problem is I have plenty of confidence,

which I've been told is the most important thing, but my form is – how sh ould I

put this – potentially intimidating.

 At 6 feet tall and 255 lbs., with growing out damn near every hole in me,

I've been told by people who know me that to people who don't, I look like a

crazy mountain man. Of course, almost all of their suggestions include the words

"scissors", "contact lenses", and "American Eagle"; or something to that effect.

I am very fond of my mane, and the ancestry that it comes from, and see no

reason why I should have shave down and spend half my paycheck on my

 wardrobe? To make a long story short (too late, I know), I need to know if there

is indeed a line between persistence and stalking, and how to identify it. I

would imagine it's different for every woman, and if so, is that an indication

of what type of woman she is? I would greatly appreciate your input on the

situation as a woman, as listening to my male friends has led to nothing.

 

willing to learn,

Mountain Man

 

p.s.: if you could, please use my question in your column. I’m sure there

lonely souls out there, both male and female, who are lonely as well; simply for

lack of knowing where the line is drawn.

 

 

A.

Try to tune into her actions and tone of voice when you talk to her:

Does she sound happy to hear from you when you call or say hello?

Does she smile and look into your eyes? Does she tell you when she is free?

It REALLY helps if you tune into a girl's signs. If we don't like a guy, we

find excuses to avoid meeting up with them and we turn off (not smiling, ending

each conversation as fast as possible). Ask her out for lunch or to a movie, if she

says yes, she doesn't hate you. Also, never call a girl everyday, as this may

either bore her or make her too secure. Keep her on her toes by quality not

quantity communication.

Things that are NOT a good idea are (a) showing up at her home or work place unannounced-

and I mean NEVR do this, even if you are dating for a long time. It's still called

STALKING and is the biggest, creepiest turn off! (b) Book a vacation for two without

asking her. These kind of surprises are too pushy and in my eyes, a sign that you are in

for more controlling behavior, even if it is disguised as a generous gesture.

 Just because you are a big hairy oaf, doesn't mean girls

won't fall for you. A lot of women love big, hairy men. They want the opposite

of themselves, someone big and warm to protect them. Yoko Ono sang it best "every
man has a woman who loves him". Chin up and keep trying.

x

Q.

 
I just broke up with my boyfriend a little over a week a go, and I did agree to

be friends. Problem is, he does not seem to get that we have broken up. He still

calls me more then 10 times a day, still calls me pet names, and still thinks we

can go out on random dates. Recently I planned on going out on a date with

someone new. He didn't seem to get that I didn't need his help with the new guy.

He just kept calling that whole day asking if I needed help getting to where I

was meeting the new guy. He just doesn't get it. He still even says he loves me

and goes in between saying 'I want you back' and 'if you want to move on, don't

let me stop you.' What do I do about the clingy psycho?

 Another problem, I'm interested in a guy that is in my lab. Can't quite tell if

he reciprocates the feeling. What are the normal signs you males give off? What

can I say? I'm bi and mainly spend my time girl watching. Not seeing of a guy

likes me back.

 

Beautiful Bi Bitch

 

  

A.

 
I am curious as to why you ended it with your ex. This would help

me help you. It is normal after a break up that one still holds on, so his behavior

isn't really psycho, he just can't seem to let go as easy as you can.

You must be able to see his number on your phone when he calls, so stop

answering his calls if you REALLY want him to stop calling! You are not doing him
any favors; you are merely making him suffer as he wants more than friendship and you don't.

You have to tell him the truth. If you want him out of your life, tell him you want
a change and you need time alone to think. Even if you think there is a slight chance of
 you two getting back together, tell him you need time to think. You need space and time.
 Take advantage of the Caller ID on your phone and stop answering him.

About the guy in your lab. If you can't tell he likes you, it isn't even worth

your time. Men let the ladies know when they are interested. It's not the female’s job
 to drag it out of him. Men pursue, women are pursued.  Naturally this doesn’t apply to
 gays/lesbians/bi’s. But if it’s a heterosexual man you want, let him lead, for the best results.

Q.
Is it safe to cum inside my pregnant wife? I don’t want to make her have twins or cause any harm.
I hate condoms and I am too horney to wait until it comes out.
Freaked out Frank
 
A.
You are either too naive or dumb to be procreating anyways, but I will answer you to calm your nerves.
 No, it won’t harm the baby (unless you fuck around with other women without a condom and drag some nasty
 disease home to your wife). And you can’t get pregnant women pregnant again.    

* Send all your questions to me, I will change your name to save your sorry ass from embarrassment

x 

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot ( Anal Sex= HELL/ Those freakin’ ex’s/ 69 is stupid)

Round 159 of Ask Dr. Dot. Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…

Q.
My guy keeps bugging me for anal sex. I have heard from ALL of my
 friends that it hurts and it’s unpleasant. He practically begs me,
 says “If you love me you’ll allow it at least once”. I do love him
 but his dick is already too big for my vagina. I need help, fast.
Exit Only Alice

 

A.
Men always think we LOVE having a hard cock rammed up our poop shoot
 because they see porn stars begging for it in their “movies”. Fact
 is, it hurts; especially if the man is well hung. His begging for
your tighter hole is similar to you begging for him to have a wider cock.
  If you let him try it once, he is bound to love your tight ass and
 will be gagging for it all the time. If you’re against it, don’t
open Pandora’s Box or it will be a major pain in the ass.

Q.
 I've been dating this girl for almost 7 months. Most of her guy friends
are guys that she has slept with in the past. She says that she has
only been with a few guys like 8 or something but she still hangs out
with half of them. Like going out to lunch and sometimes dinner. Always
exclusively and never with her friends while I'm at work. Is this good
girlfriend behavior? She says they are all just her friends and I believe
her but it makes me uncomfortable…I don't hang out with anybody that
I slept with in the past except one of my ex girlfriends who I dated
 and calls my girlfriend more than she calls me so that’s a lot different.
 Anyway one guy that she went to lunch with a week ago and also slept
 with in the past. Sent her a text message at like 10 or 11 at night
 asking her to hang out. She said she was watching a movie with me but
then he replied that he would try harder when she was single. That
really upset me and she was really upset when I brought it up she said
 that he was drunk and isn't like that normally. She didn't reply to the
text message after he said that. She also talks to her ex boyfriend of 4
 years a lot. Sending myspace comments back and forth and texting. He
 even brought her over a gift last week. She's pregnant.. with my baby.
  It's important to that I work these things out with her. What
 am I supposed to do here? Is it wrong for me to tell her that she
needs to cease relationships with past flings? How do I tell her that?
Nervously Neil
 

A.
Ok, she has all the power now. So you can not tell her what to do,
or even suggest it at this point. Do NOT mention them again!
Once the baby is born, she won't have any extra time for these
clingy fools. Just concentrate on her and put the blinders on to the
Ex boyfriends. They are her ex's; you are her guy and father to the baby.
You need to be more mature (I know they are aggravating and irritating
but do not let them win). Offer her foot rubs, lower back rubs and
just be fun to be with. She will want to be with you rather than them.
Like I said, when the baby comes, those wankers will just blend into the
Past; they will be history as her baby and you will keep her more than
busy and hopefully, content.

Q.
I am only 19 but I am sexually active even though I am a tad shy.
 I have noticed that the few men I have slept with all want to “69”.
I go with the flow, but to be honest I don’t like it. Why are men so
 hooked on this? I find it embarrassing to have someone be face to
face with my ass hole. What if they think it’s ugly? What are they
THINKING when they are that close?
Firm & Fruity Fiona
 
A.
Why are they hooked on it? Exactly the same reason you hate it.They
love the close up view of your twat and chocolate star fish in their
face.  Don’t worry about them criticizing your crack, as I am sure
they look upon it adoringly. I hate it for a different reason: it’s
unpractical. How can one enjoy receiving great oral when they have to
 concentrate on giving great oral? What a stupid fucking concept. I am
 positive the 69 position was invented by some horny, unpractical,
 caveman. Another downside; there is always that chance your man was
 in a hurry the last time he wiped his ass. Sniff.

My column, "Ask Dr. Dot"  can also be seen weekly at:

WWW.NYPRESS.COM

and   www.nyrock.com

and www.exberliner.com    

 

Posted on

The ExBerliner turns 5 years old (readers survey)

The English Berliner magazine called EXBERLINER, which I have been writing for, for 5 years, finally printed their reader survey. My column, "Ask Dr. Dot" won 80% of their votes, making my column number 1. I am really flattered and honored Kiss

^ Top half of cover

 

 ^ I am in the top favorite and most hated list too. heh heh.

This is their web site, if you are in or heading to Berlin and want to know what's up in English.

Click  HERE 

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot – June 1, 2007

 

Dr. Dot on facebook: www.facebook.com/drdotislovinlife  

 


Q.
For a year I have been seeing someone I have many things in common with,
except I don't smoke pot or do prescription drugs for pain and anxiety.
 He always made me feel beautiful, respected and pursued.  He always made
the calls and arranged the dates.  But, he has made it clear to me he doesn't
 like to be confronted or be the target of expressed anger.  Once Saturday
 night we went out with his sister and her boyfriend to a music rave.  He
took a walk with the boyfriend and left me with his sister.  When the boyfriend
 returned 15 minutes later he was alone.  My boyfriend stayed in another
 part of the hotel watching some girl band singing and dancing by himself.
He stayed away almost an hour and I found him just because I was looking
 for something to do. His sister had to set up her own band.  He came over
to me buy I was livid. When he realized I was angry he froze me out of the
conversation later when the 4 of us ordered drinks at the bar. I was hurt
and angry the rest of the night.  When our date was over he was annoyed at
 my anger.  He didn't call me for 2 weeks.  Then we exchanged a few emails,
 he called Easter and on my birthday. I couldn't see him the day he invited
 me to celebrate my birthday over a week ago, and I haven't heard from him
since.  Should I let him go? I rarely confront him, but I can't never get angry.
Fed Up Franny

A.
As nice as he may be, this ganja smoking Peter Pan is lost in his
own little never-never land. He can’t behave anyway
he wants and forbid any backlash. He is probably the youngest
child or a spoiled only child who always got his way.
I would ignore him and move on unless you want to walk on
eggshells your whole life long (exhausting!). If you really
can’t live without this sensitive control freak, let him do
all the work, all of the contacting and planning. Trying to
turn a pot head/pill popper into a caring, thoughtful partner
is an uphill battle. He sounds about as useful as a cat flap
 in an elephant house.

Q.
Why does it burn when my boyfriend cums in me?
Burning Bush Kate

 

 

 

 
A.
Think back. Did all of your other lover’s spunk burn you? If
 you have both been tested for STD’s and came out clean, this
 could be mother natures way of saying "this guy is not the
right one for you". Smell and the way one makes you feel can
really say a lot about a lover. “Love” should feel great, not
painful and like someone used a flame thrower on your snatch.

Q.
My girlfriend only wants to screw after lunch. In the morning I
wake up and am ready for a shag before breakfast; while she's
 still a zombie. At night she's "too tired". Only after lunch
does she suddenly get really fucking horny but I'm usually at work!
 Any tricks to turning her on in the early hours?
Morning Muffin Man

 

 

A.
Try to take a lunch break when she calls and is horny, run home,
 shag her, then go back to work with a shit eating grin on your face.
Saying 'no' to a hungry pussy is just wrong. About her being "tired"
 at night, tell her "just let me do all the work honey, just lay
 there and let me fuck you". Those words usually work like "open sesame".

Q.
Is it gay for a guy to pee sitting down?
Lazy Luke

A.
Having dated a few European men, I can tell you, it’s rather popular
over there. Maybe their wives have more effective ways of threatening
them if they leave the seat up. But then again, peeing while sitting
down enables you to:
– Make sure you get all your piss in the bowl
– Takes the weight off your feet
– Requires less concentration
– Getting your face ripped off by females for leaving the seat up doesn’t happen
– Gives you the option of an unplanned dump, should the need arise.
What's not to love? Why let a position define your sexuality? I say
go for it, no one is supposed to see you do your business anyways. The
only disadvantage is trying to stuff your morning stiffy down into the bowl.

 

 

 

 
Q.


My wife, god bless her, is 56 and still has her regular periods. When will
it be safe to stop fucking her with a rubber?
Rubber Hell

A.
You should be happy and proud that you married such a
healthy, ripe woman that still ovulates at age 56. This means she can still get
 pregnant, but from the sounds of things, you two have thrown in the procreating
 towel. If so, why not get snipped? Or she could have her tubes cut and tied.
 You could also have her start taking birth control pills OR use the 'Clear Blue
 Easy Fertility Monitor’ available at
would need protection during her "dangerous Wal-Mart, CVS. etc (In Europe it's called
"Persona" and you can get it in any Chemist)
 She would just keep close tabs with this gadget, finding out when she is most fertile. I am surprised
 you two haven't tried such things yet as one of the best
parts about being married is being able to ditch the condoms for more pleasurable
 forms of birth control, like the pill or IUD, Diaphragm, the ring or this monitoring
 system I just mentioned. I hope you will be riding bareback again soon.

Q.
I am in a difficult relationship, well not difficult but a confusing one.  At first
 we were friends, mostly via the internet, and then when I moved closer to him, we
started to see each other a lot more; we have been seeing each other (fucking) for
the past 3 months.  I know that he likes me and he tells me so,  he tells me that if
I was closer to him I would be his girl or he would be seeing me everyday; however
when he returns home it’s a different story.  He only will communicate via IM or
 myspace and speaking of that I’m last on his list.
Sometimes I feel that he just doesn't want to be bothered…and considering we are friends;
 I will say, hey? do you need some time alone? (instead of making me sit in front of
the damn pc while he is busy chatting with other ppl)..he just says, don’t be silly but
 then…I end up sitting and waiting.

 I have confronted him in a nice way of course and asked where do I stand with him?
  His response was that, he is confused and unsure what he wants at the moment.  I asked
him if he is keeping his options open?  His response is NO.  He also states that, he
wouldn't like it if I was with someone else…because he wouldn’t be with someone else.
 This is just confusing again!

This is hard for me because I am so in love with him and when he is here I know he is
 mine it’s when he is gone that I feel lost and confused and hopeless.  I don’t want to
loose our friendship but I just don’t know where I stand with him or what he wants but
 then again, neither does he.
Blinded by Love-Layla

 

 

A.
My advice, start seeing other people as it sounds to me like he has another, even if he
says he doesn't. It’s been said “women can fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships”.
 If he was that into you, he would be begging you to move closer, to let him move near you,
 or to at least see you more often. He would call, rather than chat with you like an online buddy.

When a man is in love and hell bent on making sure the girl is HIS, they don't behave like
 the wanker you are describing. Sorry but I don’t sugar coat. He is taking advantage of you;
open your eyes and realize you are just his fuck buddy and nothing more.
Get gorgeous, get busy and stop "waiting" around for that indecisive fuck face.



Q.
Hello Dr. Dot. I read the New York Press every Wednesday, and your column is the first page I
turn to. Honest. I have a quick clean question. I am a single, never married 45 year old Hispanic
 male, well educated (2 degrees), not bad looking I am told, good shape (like to work out) etc.etc.
 but I cannot find a date. You have heard it before I am sure. I am thinking of taking dance classes
 to possibly meet interesting women. Good idea or bad idea. What kind of dancing should I learn.
 I have no experience at all with any type of dancing. How should I approach this decision? Thank
You very, very much Dr. Dot.
Pimpin’ Pedro


A.
Dance classes, along with cooking and yoga classes are excellent places to pull. Salsa lessons would
 ensure you meet lots of ladies who either already have a fiery rhythm, or want one. Such classes
 are usually predominantly female and you would end up a popular dance partner. It's tough finding
love in a big city but as a single male, the odds are on your side (lots of gays mean, lots of single
ladies). Make sure your breath is ALWAYS fresh and buy a fresh scent: 'Angle Men' (A-men) from Thierry Mugler
or Fahrenheit from Christian Dior, these scents make women weak in the knees.

Q.
I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months, and things have been great,
 but are moving into a beyond the 'surface' stage of our relationship.I haven't
had something like this in awhile and he was very romantic and generous with his
word up until recently. He isn’t seeing someone else and he contacts me
regularly but the sweetness has faded a little. He’s very stressed at work
and the last time I saw him he looked tired and admitted that he takes on
too much and then feels overwhelmed. I freaked a little when he said he has to
find balance. I took it personally because when I had heard that before, it meant that they were
disappearing,and that perhaps I had done something to change their mind.  In my heart, I know
he really cares about me, but I am afraid. He’s invited me to go with his family for
dinner next week, but that urgency to see me has faded and he’s really putting himself
first these past days.I understand that, but I still get fearful that my romantic guy won't come
back.  I apologized for the mini-freak out and explained to him my fears. He was all ears
and philosophical about it.  I just wish I could relax and not worry so much. Any thoughts?
Fearful Freda


A.
You need to chill. Men can smell insecurity, fear and doubt like a dog
can smell another dogs ass miles away.
It’s natural for things to calm after a few months. The only way to keep things
really spicy is to only see each other once a week, but then you can never really
get closer. You’re hooked on that romantic high; that addictive butterfly effect
 a fresh
love has on everyone, but love never stays that intoxicating. Eventually romance turns
 into a familiarity; there is no way of avoiding it. We would all like our lover to be
 mad about us, to imagine they only think of us when they wank, but it's just bullshit;
that only exists in romance flicks.
You shouldn’t have freaked out. Less words and tantrums; more confidence and calm will
prevent them from disappearing. Men need space, patients and above all, less drama.
Realize that you are worth hanging around for and try to feel so happy in your
own shell, that even if you were alone, you would be fine. Men can sense that
and feel free. Just like being in a room alone with a cat, if you close the door,
the cat wants OUT now. If you leave the door a bit open, he will want to sit on
your lap and pine for your attention.

Q.
I cheated on my bf while I was on holiday and he found out. I don’t know why I did it.
My man has been exceptionally good to me. When I was exposed he just called me a slut
and walked off. The next day he came round and demanded to know the details, saying he
could not make up his mind about me till he knew everything. I could not say anything
 because I was crying so much I couldn’t talk. He is glad I admitted to it. Should I tell
 him all about how it happened? How can I get him to stay with me? I need him in my life.
 How long will it take for us to work this over? Should I buy him a present or something
 similar……right now he will not even kiss me.
Beaver Deceiver


A.
For some reason Men love to know the exact details when they catch their woman cheating
 (seen the movie "CLOSER" yet?). It's best not to give him the details, as if he does
 forgive you, which it sounds like he will (if he was really done with you, you wouldn't
 have heard back from him) then he will always have that scene running through his mind".

Just write him an email or text and tell him you were drunk,
 missed him and that you regret it with every bone in your body; you are SORRY. That's all
 you can do. Giving him a gift or apologizing too much just makes you look even guiltier.
 You didn't LOVE this guy you fucked around with; it was just a physical thing, so it
shouldn't get blown out of proportion. It's not like you were seeing him for months and
fell in love, it was just a tryst. Men understand as they can usually separate love and lust.
 Tell him going into details is difficult as you were so drunk and you don't even want to
relive such a mistake. Assure him it won't happen again and sit back, be patient and give him
some space to think. Let HIM make the first move! Otherwise you will appear desperate and it
 will remind him that you are feeling guilty; not good. Ease your mind by knowing life will
go on & what's meant to be will be.

 

Q.
For the last year and a half I've been in a relationship with one of the most
gorgeous girls I've met inside and outside I think I am in love with her but
there's one issue (actually multiple issues).  I am 23 and she is only 20.   I
am very independent, have my own place, work somewhere in Wall Street and
graduated from college almost 3 years ago.   I come from a very poor and humble
family and feel that I have already accomplished a lot.  My girlfriend on the
other hand is 20 and still in school, her parents pay for her car, give her
money every week, and pay for everything.   Now the big one: She has a
curfew! she has to be home at 10 every night, which would be ok with me if I
was in high school but all of a sudden I cant handle it.   Also please note
that even though she is young she makes good money in her part time job (at least
more than $20 an hour) I tried very hard to make this work but after a year I
feel like I should go out there and meet people that are on the same stage as
me…The icing on the cake is that her family is Jewish and I am not so they do
not approve of me so there's no way I can convince them to leave the situation.
Even though I love her lately…I've just been thinking really about where
this all going…and at the end of the day I am just not happy…what’s your
take on this?
Master Baiter


A.
Just because you love one, doesn't mean you have to hate the rest. You are 20-fucking-3.
Your life has just begun. You will meet many people in your life and if you
try and settle down now, it probably won't last, especially with so many odds
against you. I sense a bit of resentment from you towards your younger, sheltered/spoiled
20 year old Jewish Princess. Her family will not bend unless you concert and even so, if
they are so anal as to put a curfew on a 20 year old, why would you want to be part of
that family?
Imagine how strict they would be if you had kids with her? You obviously year
to meet others so do it. Leaving her would be easy, just blame it on her
family not accepting you and her curfew. Tell her you want to be friends but
want to be single. You are a young and ambitious man in a big city, in other
words, it's raining pussy.

Q.
I recently moved to a new town and had my tits made bigger (new town; new
jugs) and I love them. But every time I go out, people, mostly men, ask me
“are those real?” and they are not even huge. This really pisses me off.. I
don’t know how to respond without looking like a liar or coward. Some even ask
about my breasts before they ask my name or if I want a drink. Any suggestions
would be greatly appreciated.
Breasty Beauty

 

 

 

A.
A few ideas off hand: (1) If you weren’t so ignorant, you may have found out
yourself (2) Does it really fucking matter? Or if you have a sense of humor
(3) No, I just bought them on Ebay, aren’t they fucking bodacious?

Q.

Me and my girlfriend get along well; we have the occasional small fight
but nowadays, Sex has gotten outta hand, it just seems I can’t cum any more.
Me and my girlfriend have tried almost every position, including foreplay.
We try crazy things like her dressing up or fulfilling fantasies, but she
just can’t handle it, we go at it, and then she cums, and im stuck in a not so
sticky situation. She does kegel exercises and is indeed nicely fitted to my
penis, however she says my penis is too long, and there are times when I can feel my
cock hit a dead end so to say. Sometimes causing her a rush of excitement,
others causing pain. Any ideas on what to do?
Long Dong Silver

 

 
A.
Too long does hurt our delicate love cave, but avoiding the doggy style
position could help avoid extreme pain. Let her be on top, so she can control
the pressure, or when you are on top, be gentle. Perhaps take a break from all
of the bells and whistles and just have her blow you for a good hour. That
should make you cum.  Tell her not to forget your balls or your taint (tain't
your ass, and it tain't your balls). Never met a man who can't cum from great
oral.

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot


Q.
My girl and I are very much in love, so there's no problem in that respect.
The thing is, we've had better sex before, in that she used to cum once or maybe
twice 'per intercourse' 🙂 but now I can't seem to satisfy her so much
anymore.
It seems that I cum too fast, it's like I've trained my body to enjoy too much
too fast, or she's just too good. How do I get to please my woman again?
Thanx! Quick Shooter Shane

 A.
You should "train" yourself to eat her pussy until she cums before you
even get in there, where you "accidentally" cum to fast. Make it your
goal to hear her scream and moan with pleasure, then celebrate your
victory by giving her a good dose of your liquid love.

Q.
I have a problem I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and in
those two years of having sex with him I have not came ONCE! I don't know what
the problem is. When we have sex i cant feel anything its like it is 'numb'..
please tell me what my problem..
Numb Nelly

You could get a MAN DOLL and practice on him ^

(click on link to get one ^)

A.
Sounds like you are with the wrong boyfriend if 2 years have gone by, no
orgasm and you "can't feel anything".
Ask yourself these questions: Have I climaxed with other men in the
past? and Can I make myself cum?
If the answer to both of these questions are yes, the problem could be
he isn't doing you correctly, you need to speak up and show him
EXACTLY how to make you cum. If the answer to the questions is NO,
then you need to spend more quality time alone, working on how to
trip your own trigger, then once you learn that, integrate it into
your sex life, making sure you show him everything.
This "numb" feeling and the fact you can't feel anything could
mean he is too boring and/or small for your snatch for you to be shagging him.
"I've gotta spot that get's me hot, and you ain't been to it"

Q.
Prior to me, my ex-girlfriend dated guys with bigger penises than mine. She
always told me it was tiny to just tease me and when I broke up with her she
told everyone I had a small one, and my friends never stopped picking on me
for 3 years. I know I’m a little over 5 inches and that should be around average
but being told you have a small penis for 3 years will subconsciously make me fear
it is, even if I know it isnt. But now, I have a new girlfriend, I really love
her and she loves me, and I cant describe how compatible we are on a sexual
and sensual level and when were kissing, but I just found out that her ex and
first boyfriend had a 9 inch penis (despite knowing you should never ask about
exes).
We haven’t had sex yet, but were both nearing the point where we want to. Will
my 5-inch dick satisfy my girlfriend, even if the guy before me had a long
willy? Does the vagina get bigger after a big one? She also told me her and
her ex never finished actual intercourse, despite trying many times, because it
was painful for her. I understand that this may just be my ego talking, because it
just might be big-mouthed ex-girlfriend all over again, but even though, I
really want to give my woman the best mind-blowing sex ever. I bet I can give
her a rocking time with foreplay or going down on her, because kissing for the
two of us is amazing and only fuels our passion even more… but I just want to
know if I can still pleasure her in actual intercourse. And I can’t go down on
her because she thinks its disgusting. So all I can do is foreplay, play with
her down there, and intercourse.

A.
Telling a new boyfriend about her ex's big cock is just as mean as you telling
your new girlfriends that your ex was a rich model, it's just plain evil.
You should stop them in their tracks when they do this and tell them
"uh that's too much information darling", OR "that's so funny you say that
as my last girlfriends pussy was MUCH tighter than yours".
You have to convince her to let you lick her pussy. This will be your
golden ticket to winning her over for good. Massage her feet for over 20
minutes,
while she sips some gorgeous red wine. Lick and massage her calves, thighs,
she may not notice when you start to lick her clit, nice and slow, like cow with a
big tongue. You simply have to convince her to let you try.
Don't worry about your cock size, as long as it stays hard and you make her
cum, that's all you need.
You should be happy you got rid of that mean HOLE who made fun of your penis
size.

  < Mean hole


Q.

I've been seeing this girl for a while now, we met, started kissing…..later
on sex…you know the score, took our time etc etc. Now when she first started
blowing me she did not swallow. I did'nt mind cause cum dont taste that good
to me.
Now we have been together for 3 months she has started to hold my balls look
me in the eyes and swallow. It makes me feel great. I feel in love with her within
weeks. I was not sure how she felt about me, i guess i am trying to ask is
does the fact that she has started to swallow (and give other extras in bed) point
to the fact she is really falling for me. A friend ( a girl) told me most girls
only swallow for guys they REALLY like.???
Spunky Steve 

A.
Woah "Cum don't taste that good to me". Bravo for admitting you taste your own
spunk, takes a real man to do that. Well, I'm guessing it's your own spunk you
are talking about (?).
Anyways, YES!, it means she digs you now, she accepts you and every drop of
you. Now don't fuck it up by asking her "Do you love me?". Just enjoy!

< If she swallows, it means she likes you

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot

 

Q.

I live next door to my Ex-Husband with my new husband. My Ex-Husband left me for my sister, so she lives next door with him. As you can imagine the tension is high. Things started happening when my Ex-husband threw a plastic bottle at my car as I left my drive one day after an argument with him. My Ex gets in contact with me regularly regarding our kids, and to complain about my new husband (that he is too loud as he is reshaping our yard with loud tools). There was been so many fights that it has almost ended in violence on several occasions. I am stuck in the middle of all this testosterone. I love my new husband dearly and don't want him to get into trouble, but my ex-husband threw the first stone. My new husband wants to go round with the baseball bat and kill him. What should I do to control this situation
Greetings from Suburbia HELL

A.

WTF? Just move!

Q.

I just met this handsome guy in his 50's.  I want a serious relationship with
him but he mostly fantasizes about us being with another women and me making
love to her while he watches.  Although we have not been intimate yet, is this
possibly a relationship that could get serious without a third party.  Does it
mean that he will not be faithful or is this just a fantasy to help him get
turned on?

Sexy Sadie


 

A.

If you just met him, haven't even fucked yet and he is already trying to drag other bodies into your bed, it's not a good sign.

Everyone has sexual fantasy's but they usually wait to verbalize them, after things start to get too familiar and stale.

It doesn't mean he will cheat, it just means he is very direct, impatient and doesn't give a shit if you like the idea or not.

"Serious relationship"? He doesn't sound serious to me at all and  "Handsome" is never enough, he has to be kind and care
about your feelings. If this is his way of courting, tell him to fuck off.


Q.

I'm in a bit of a situation that's turning' me more gray headed then usual. I can't seem to decide on the best route to take here. I moved back to my home 6 years ago to help take care of my mother, she's 76, gave birth to me at age 40. My biological father was a married man already with family. She raised me by herself on welfare for 14 yrs until she remarried. I was adopted then but never got very close to her husband (who later left her for a younger woman). I returned back to this Podunk hell hole I now live in and my life previously was much different, meaning, I had a good day job, nice apt. and car, lived alone and played in bands on weekends. Now, after 6 years of living with my mother, because none of my family will give the time of day to check on her, I can't afford to put her in a home nor do I really want to. But my personal life has taken a serious blow these last years. I can't have women sleep over under the same roof as mom. My love life has been a complete failure with the girls I've met around here, they  just don't understand my situation.  My guts tell me to spread wings and fly the coop but my heart says it would be mean. I need freakin' advice in a bad way. Some direction, motivation?

Super Son

A must have ^

A.
Any woman that falls for you, will love you even more for caring about your Mom.  It's a VERY good sign when a man cares for his mom, in fact, if a girl wants to know how a man will treat her in the long run, she simply has to see how he treats/talks about his mother. Keep that in mind and you will see your situation as a plus, not a minus. You can't leave your Mom hanging, without her, your ass wouldn't be here. You are doing the right thing and should feel great about it, that will make you shine and hence, attract a lovely lady. You need to sort out the sleeping over situation, everyone has to compromise, your Mom should understand that, in fact, she doesn't have a choice, so help your Mom, but make your own rules about your love life or you simply won't have one. The girls probably understand that you take care of your Mom, but get turned off by the fact you don't have the balls to insist upon sexy sleep overs. Mom is probably too deaf and blind by now to notice any romps you would have at home anyways.

  < Mom won't mind

 

Q.

Please answer me as soon as possible. It's really urgent because I met a man on-line

 and we have been flirting for months. I have a really cute face, but I am kinda over

weight. I am good at hiding that fact with the way I pose in pictures.

Now he has booked a flight to come see me and when he sees my body, he

may freak out. I obviously can't lose 50 pounds in 3 weeks, so what can I do?

Should I tell him now that I am a wide load?

Big Legged Emma

A.

False advertising and on-line dating go hand in hand. People tend to exaggerate and bullshit on-line, so you never know,

he may be shorter than he says or have a limp dick/bad breath. Don't worry so much, just make sure you are fun and if

it does come down to sex, make sure you blow him like you have diabetes and his dick has all the insulin in it that you need,

as in, give it to him good. He won't even notice the extra padding.

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot

Q.

In your last column, you told a man he could improve his penis strength and size by "using it", you said the penis had muscle. Oh my god, Muscle in penile tissue?—and you are supposed to be a sex expert? The only muscle that I am aware of is the one between your ears. Get a real job where you wont misinform people about important health issues.. Of course,the idiot that posed the question is but one step above you.

Amply endowed

A.

 I don't normally answer already answered questions, but Mr. "Amply Endowed" (all the blood that should be in your brain is obviously in your "ample" appendage), you've irritated me like a fucking rash. You seem to be "unaware" of that giant tool you have. There are a few muscles in the cock, one is called the Pubo Coccygeal (PC), that helps maintain an erection and can control premature ejaculation. The width of the penis is determined by two others; the Ischio Cavernous (IC) and Bulbo Cavernous (BC). These two sheets of voluntary muscle wrap around the shaft of the penis like the belts on a radial tire. When pumped and contracted they give added rigidity and thickness to the shaft. As with any of the voluntary muscles, these can be exercised and both their strength and size improved. Like I said " the more you use it the bigger and stronger it gets". Now, kiss my ass, wanker and stop whining about advice you get for FREE. ps. Since when is the size of a man's cock an "important health issue"?

 

 Q.

I am seeing a married man since 1 year, he often comes to me for sex. I love him deeply and love our sex. I often wonder if he getting any at home from his wife and/or if I am his only Mistress. He says she never fucks him and yet he takes ages to come. What's wrong with this picture? How can I find out if I am the only one, or at least the only OTHER one?

Suspicious Sally

  < Take 'em off Bitch!

A.

You can't gauge how often a man is "getting sex" by how fast he shoots his load. He could be wanking several times a day but no intercourse, which could make him last a bit longer, or have a few different women, you will never know. He cheats on his wife, chances of him being true to you are slim, take off your rose colored glasses so you can see that trying to find out where you stand is a huge waste of time. You can't count on or make demands on a borrowed man.

 

Q.

I have a boyfriend who is incredibly small, I want to break up with him because I can't feel him when we have sex, so how do i do it without being horrible. ….'Don't want no short dick man–Mandy'

^ NOT the right way to let him down easy

A.

 First let me tell you how to avoid this dilemma in the future. After you've kissed for a while, give his cock a good squeeze. If he is either too big *sigh* or too small, slowly end the make out session and tell him things are moving too fast, you have to go. Now, to let the poor fella down gently, tell him you decided you want to be single again, or your ex has won you back. The BEST way to get rid of any man without hurting his feelings is to tell him "I'm tired of sex; I don't just want it anymore."

 

 Q.

 My girlfriend (of 8 months) just told me she is pregnant, even though she was on the pill. She claims the anti-biotics she was taking are the reason the pill didn't work. I am freaked out and want to know if this could be true or did she do this on purpose?

Petrified Pete

 A.

It is true, taking certain antibiotics make the pill less effective. Doubting her about this is not a good idea, all you can do is politely ask her what she plans to do and to avoid this situation in the future, remember, No Glove, No Love.

 

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot

Q.

Me and my boyfriend are both rather young. We have just started watching porn together and it is rather awkward just sitting there watching it, I mean, what does one normally do? It feels odd how we both just sit there in silence.

Wondering Wanda

 

A.

Try doing it doggy style while you both watch your naughty film or lie on your back while he munches on you (you can have your head hanging over the bed and watch watch upside down or look to the side). When guys watch porn together, they just sit there in silence, but when a couple watches it, you are supposed to get busy. Don't ask him, just get naked and into position, he will follow your lead.

 Q.

  I've been with my boyfriend 10 months now, we are very sexually active and experiment quite alot. He's made me cum through my clitoris, however he has never made me have a vaginal orgasm at all, I have also tried to find my g spot myself, they say it is meant tho be about 2 or 3 inches inside you, however i cannot find anything there at all, i am getting very upset and annoyed by this and I am wondering if it is possible that some women cannot have a vaginal orgasm at all, please help me because it is becoming a major concern of mine, thanks Clity Kate

 

A.

 First of all, this G-spot bullshit is highly overrated. When one is looking for mine, it just makes me have to piss. Ditto with all of my gal pals. The clit is like a tiny penis, in fact, some will argue that it IS a tiny penis that just never grew. SO you have to treat it similar to a penis. Could you make a man cum just by touching his balls? Highly unlikely. One of you would have to touch his cock to get him to cum. Same with the clit. He can lick your clit or slide against it while you two are shagging to get you to cum. Stop worrying so much about a 'vaginal orgasm' or your mysterious G-spot and just enjoy the fact that he can make you cum. I know many women who can't cum at all, so count your blessings.

Q.

My boyfriend of 6 years has never liked kissing or giving oral sex.. also the frequency is about every 12 days… he is 51, and all his other girlfriends have complained about the same issues.. is he gay? Curious Carol

 A.

Honey, if you have been dating him for 6 years and still don't know if he is gay, you have serious problems. Gay men don't date women first of all. They like cock. Did you and the other girlfriends stop to think that maybe he is just a man who doesn't like to suck face/pussy? Kissing is extremely intimate as is oral sex. Some people are just not that deep. Like it or leave it.

 Q.

I am 22 and my girlfriend is 21,and she always wants to suck my dick.That's fine but she always bites it. What would you do to stop this?

crazycasey


A.

 Put a bunch of coins in a tin can and the next time she blows you and her fangs dig in, shake the can aggressively. Dog trainers use this tactic but I am sure it will work for your toothy gal. Tell her to roll her lips over her teeth, like she has no teeth, just gums (like that old lady in the film 'King Pin') and tell her not to let her teeth touch your willy. Explain to her that it's is like being in heaven and hell at the same time.

^ Sex with teeth = Heaven and Hell

 Q.

I have been seeing this guy for three months now… horizontally we are a great match and have a lot of fun… vertically, I unfortunately am finding him more and more boring… and he seems to have fallen in love with me… how do I deal with this situation without breaking his heart??? Bored Bonnie

A.

Why not enjoy the horizontal part with him as much as you can and when you are done tell him you have things to do. Keeping busy is good for the soul, so is great sex. It is hard to find someone who is perfect for you in every category. Be honest with him and tell him you love having sex with him but that's about it. Some men don't mind being on call just for sex. Relying on someone to entertain you is ridiculous. Also, in this day and age, if you are up front about wanting to see other people and practicing safe sex, it's not frowned upon to date more than one person (one who is fun, one who is good in bed, one who spoils you, etc). Besides, there is no "Mr. Right" there is only "Mr. Right-NOW".