Tag: ask

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot (September 6, 2008)

Feel free to send me your questions about love, sex and relationships. Don't be shy, I always change the names, your secret is safe with me 😉

 

 
 http://www.ibrokemypenis.com/  

Q.
I have been dating this really special guy (age 30) for 6 months. We took our time getting to know each other and have been having sex for the last two months.
Last time we were shagging, I got on top and squatted on his cock and apparently slammed down on it the wrong way or too hard, or something and he stopped me and said his dick hurts. We couldn't continue, even though we tried, as he was in
pain and his prick was swollen. He left and sent me a text message a few hours later and said he was in the emergency room as I had broken his dick! He stayed in there THREE days and the worst part of all of this is he told his parents, as they needed to bring him clothes and I haven't even MET them yet. I am horrified. How can I continue seeing this man and how should I behave if I meet the parents? SOS!

Vicious Vagina

A.
Oddly enough, I have broken a cock before too. It DOES happen. Telling his parents
means he is an open, honest guy who obviously has a good relationship to his folks,
which is a good think (he could have lied and said he did it while wanking). The best
way to handle this situation is with humor. If/when you meet them, don't apologize
for fucking their son so hard you snapped his willy in half, just leave it and if THEY

mention it, make a little joke like "yes, we were "driving" recklessly that evening"

and let it slide. They are probably proud of their son for being open, honest and having

wild sex like they surely used to.

Q.
I am a 31-year-old brother and my girlfriend, age 23 and I got engaged 3 months ago. Recently she got all dolled up and went out with the girls. They went out dancing and she came home around 3am in a giggly, sexy mood and I am pleased she had fun. We start making out and she says she needs to go to the bathroom. I could hear the shower going so I go in to surprise her. She was washing her pussy and a load of cum was sliding down her leg. I wiped it off and smelt it. It was 100% cum! I stormed out and slept over one of my homies houses.  DEVASTATED DOES NOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL. I demanded the truth and she admitted EVERYTHING; some guy bought her drinks, she sat in his lap and he felt up her legs and arse then he got his dick out under her skirt and she sat on it. Later they fucked again out the back of the club. Of course she used the “drunk" excuse. She has apologized 50 times already. I don't know what the fuck to do.
Shittin’ Kittens   


A.
Although I am aware that being 100% physically true is almost impossible, she crossed the line by putting you in GREAT danger. Had you not walked in and snatched the cum wad from her thigh, you would have never known. She can’t be trusted. The worst part is she didn't use a condom. This cannot be tolerated. If she that ignorant and irresponsible that she can go fuck a stranger in a bar without a condom, why would you want to keep her around? If you stay with her your self-esteem, confidence and most importantly your life will be in constant state of fear and danger.  Show the whore the door.

 

Q.

My boyfriend and I have great sex but whenever he is about to ejaculate he withdraws and wanks over my tits or face or stomach. He very rarely comes inside me. I have never had an orgasm with him because he always withdraws and wanks over me.  I am then left feeling frustrated. I have been with him 2 years but don’t know how to talk to him about this.  He watches a lot of porn and I think that because most of the porn he watches this is what the blokes do, he thinks that is the norm.
Frustrated Fiona


A.
Men shoot their spunk over a woman for numerous reasons (1) In their subconscious they may think
the girl won't get pregnant if they pull out (2) It's fun to watch themselves mark their territory
(3) They are curious as to how exactly big that batch is.
 He should be grateful he has such a good sport as a partner as some girls would get offended when a man sprays his baby gravy all over them. I am guessing he never asks about you having an orgasm and if not, you should learn to speak your mind.  The fact that he is doing something that annoys you is partly your fault because how the fuck is he supposed to know it bothers you if you don't speak up? I assume he isn't a mind reader.
Just come right out and say, "Darling, would you stay with a girl who can't make you cum?” Then he will probably give you a dirty look and answer, "fuck no! why?" then you say, "well, I know it's
 my fault for not saying anything, but I never, ever cum with you, in fact I would prefer you cum IN me sometimes, not just on me, so lets try something different please". If you don't whip up the courage
to say something, then you deserve to just be his loving cum rag.

Q.
I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months, and things have been great,
 but are moving into a beyond the 'surface' stage of our relationship.I haven't
had something like this in awhile and he was very romantic and generous with his
word up until recently. He isn’t seeing someone else and he contacts me
regularly but the sweetness has faded a little. He’s very stressed at work
and the last time I saw him he looked tired and admitted that he takes on
too much and then feels overwhelmed. I freaked a little when he said he has to
find balance. I took it personally because when I had heard that before, it meant that they were
disappearing,and that perhaps I had done something to change their mind.  In my heart, I know
he really cares about me, but I am afraid. He’s invited me to go with his family for
dinner next week, but that urgency to see me has faded and he’s really putting himself
first these past days.I understand that, but I still get fearful that my romantic guy won't come
back.  I apologized for the mini-freak out and explained to him my fears. He was all ears
and philosophical about it.  I just wish I could relax and not worry so much. Any thoughts?
Fearful Freda

A.
You need to chill. Men can smell insecurity, fear and doubt like a dog
can smell another dogs ass miles away.
It’s natural for things to calm after a few months. The only way to keep things
really spicy is to only see each other once a week, but then you can never really
get closer. You’re hooked on that romantic high; that addictive butterfly effect
 a fresh
love has on everyone, but love never stays that intoxicating. Eventually romance turns
 into a familiarity; there is no way of avoiding it. We would all like our lover to be
 mad about us, to imagine they only think of us when they wank, but it's just bullshit;
that only exists in romance flicks.
You shouldn’t have freaked out. Less words and tantrums; more confidence and calm will
prevent them from disappearing. Men need space, patience and above all, less drama.
Realize that you are worth hanging around for and try to feel so happy in your
own shell, that even if you were alone, you would be fine. Men can sense that
and feel free. Just like being in a room alone with a cat, if you close the door,
the cat wants OUT now. If you leave the door a bit open, he will want to sit on
your lap and pine for your attention.

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot July 27 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy..

Q.
Hallo Dr. Dot. I read the ExBerliner magazine every month, and your column is the first page I
turn to. Honest. I have a quick clean question. I am a single, never married 45 year old Hispanic
 male, well educated (2 degrees), not bad looking I am told, good shape (like to work out) etc.etc.
 but I cannot find a date. You have heard it before I am sure. I am thinking of taking dance classes
 to possibly meet interesting women. Good idea or bad idea. What kind of dancing should I learn.
 I have no experience at all with any type of dancing. How should I approach this decision? Thank
You very, very much Dr. Dot.
Pimpin’ Pedro


A.
Dance classes, along with cooking and yoga classes are excellent places to pull. Salsa lessons would
 ensure you meet lots of ladies who either already have a fiery rhythm, or want one. Such classes
 are usually predominantly female and you would end up a popular dance partner. It's tough finding
love in a big city but as a single male, the odds are on your side (lots of gays mean, lots of single
ladies). Make sure your breath is ALWAYS fresh and buy a fresh scent: 'Angle Men' (A-men) from Thierry Mugler
 or Fahrenheit from Christian Dior, these scents make women weak in the knees.

Q.
My girlfriend only wants to shag after lunch. In the morning I wake up and
 am ready for a shag before breakfast; while she's still a zombie. At night
 she's "too tired". Only after lunch does she suddenly get really fucking
 horny but I'm usually at work! Any tricks to turning her on in the early hours?
Morning Muffin Man


 		 
   

A.
Try to take a lunch break when she calls and is horny, run home, shag her, then
 go back to work with a shit eating grin on your face.
Saying 'no' to a hungry pussy is just wrong. About her being "tired" at night,
tell her "just let me do all the work honey, just lay there and let me fuck you".
 Those words usually work like "open sesame".

Q.
Is it gay for a guy to pee sitting down?
Lazy Luke


 		 
   

A.
Having dated a few European men, I can tell you, it’s rather popular over there.
Maybe their wives have more effective ways of threatening them if they leave the
seat up. But then again, peeing while sitting down enables you to:
– Make sure you get all your piss in the bowl
– Takes the weight off your feet
– Requires less concentration
– Getting your face ripped off by females for leaving the seat up doesn’t happen
– Gives you the option of an unplanned dump, should the need arise.
What's not to love? Why let a position define your sexuality? I say go for it,
 no one is supposed to see you do your business anyways. The only disadvantage
 is trying to stuff your morning stiffy down into the bowl.

 

Q.
My wife, god bless her, is 56 and still has her regular periods. When will
it be safe to stop fucking her with a Johnny?
Condom Hell-Holger

A.
You should be happy and proud that you married such a
healthy, ripe woman that still ovulates at age 56. This means she can still get
 pregnant, but from the sounds of things, you two have thrown in the procreating
 towel. If so, why not get snipped? Or she could have her tubes cut and tied.
 You could also have her start taking birth control pills OR use the 'Persona' method.
 A preventive device found in every Pharmacy (also called Clear Blue).

< Monitor Method

 

IUD ^ 

She would just keep close tabs with this gadget, finding out when she is most fertile (danger days).
 I am surprised you two haven't tried such things yet as one of the best
parts about being married is being able to ditch the condoms for more pleasurable
 forms of birth control, like the pill or IUD, Diaphragm, the ring or this monitoring
 system I just mentioned. I hope you will be riding bareback again soon.

Q.
I am in a difficult relationship, well not difficult but a confusing one.  At first
 we were friends, mostly via the internet, and then when I moved closer to him, we
started to see each other a lot more; we have been seeing each other (fucking) for
the past 3 months.  I know that he likes me and he tells me so,  he tells me that if
I was closer to him I would be his girl or he would be seeing me everyday; however
when he returns home it’s a different story.  He only will communicate via IM or
 myspace and speaking of that I’m last on his list.
Sometimes I feel that he just doesn't want to be bothered…and considering we are friends;
 I will say, hey? do you need some time alone? (instead of making me sit in front of
the damn pc while he is busy chatting with other ppl)..he just says, don’t be silly but
 then…I end up sitting and waiting.

 I have confronted him in a nice way of course and asked where do I stand with him?
  His response was that, he is confused and unsure what he wants at the moment.  I asked
him if he is keeping his options open?  His response is NO.  He also states that, he
wouldn't like it if I was with someone else…because he wouldn’t be with someone else.
 This is just confusing again!

This is hard for me because I am so in love with him and when he is here I know he is
 mine it’s when he is gone that I feel lost and confused and hopeless.  I don’t want to
loose our friendship but I just don’t know where I stand with him or what he wants but
 then again, neither does he.
Blinded by Love,

 Layla

A.
My advice, start seeing other people as it sounds to me like he has another, even if he
says he doesn't. It’s been said “women can fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships”.
 If he was that into you, he would be begging you to move closer, to let him move near you,
 or to at least see you more often. He would call, rather than chat with you like an online buddy.

When a man is in love and hell bent on making sure the girl is HIS, they don't behave like
 the wanker you are describing. Sorry but I don’t sugar coat. He is taking advantage of you;
open your eyes and realize you are just his fuck buddy and nothing more.
Get gorgeous, get busy and stop "waiting" around for that indecisive fuck face.

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot July 3rd 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy..

Q.
My Fiancé says he is scared he can't have kids because his cum looks
like water. What is this caused by & is he able to have kids still? He has not had a sex drive since his ex gave his baby up for adoption. When we do have sexual intercourse he only last 5-15 mins. Not amused!

Quickie Queen

A.
Sperm consistency always varies. Diet, exercise and frequency of sex can all dictate how thick or watery his juice will be.

Sperm is constantly being made. Even if he just shot his load, a new batch is already in the making and you never know if it will be clear, cloudy, thin or chunky style.
Semen quantity differs among individuals and can also change during different times of a man’s life. Older men usually make a milky or pearly-white spunk and if the guy doesn't empty his balls regularly, it can turn a bit yellow and get really thick like clam (OMG!) chowder. A lot of factors go into the appearance and consistency of semen, including diet and ejaculation frequency. Changing any of these can alter the way your semen looks.
A nocturnal ejaculation may have more prostate fluid in it (which is whiter and thicker),
while a daytime ejaculation may have more sperm and fluid from the seminal vesicles, which tends to be clearer and less viscous. You say he already produced a child, so I would tell him not to worry about being impotent AND you say his sperm is very watery, so if he isn't fucking you, he must be wanking a lot, when you aren't around. This may help him feel (1) Good (2) In control. Since he lost control of his child, wanking may make him feel in control of at least his cock. If he is that afraid, he should go to the Doctor and have it checked out but I think it would be a waste of time and money and make an already tense, unfortunate situation become that more tense, hence killing his sex drive even more. Just avoid talking about it and give him some sexy back rubs while wearing some hot undies. Try to have him get you off before he even attempts one of those 5 minute in and out escapades. Tsk Tsk!


Q.
Why is it I can only cum when I think about my husband having sex with his ex girlfriends? Any details he has given me race through my head and I act them out while fucking him and that is the ONLY way I can get off. I’ve never told him as I am afraid he would think I am nuts.

Am I?
Pervy Pam

A.
Wanting to love your partners past, right down to the juicy parts is nothing to be ashamed or freaked out about.
 A lot of people have to let their mind wander while fucking to cum, as sometimes the here and now is either
too much or too little and letting your imagination take over to get yourself off is a common pastime. I think
it means you are just very into his sexuality and imagining him fucking other girls is a turn on. A few people
 I know have admitted to doing the same thing, just relax and enjoy your home made, in-house porn.

Q.
I am also a massage therapist and want your opinion. Sometimes when I massage male clients,
they do obnoxious things that make me feel very awkward. For example, some point their penis
 South when they lay on their stomachs and I massage their back and back of their legs.
I then have to look at their cock the whole time and this grosses me out. Another popular
 antic is some men lift their asses up off the table so they are almost kneeling. What the hell?
 This makes me so nervous, I am thinking of just massaging females from now on.
Miss Massage



A.
Simply ask the client to “Please point your member North so I don’t accidentally graze it
 with my short fingernails” should frighten their cock as soon the words leave your mouth.
 If they moan about it, insist you can’t concentrate and/or cover “it” with the sheet/towel
and only work on one side at a time, keeping his jewels covered. You could be cheeky and say
“Look, it’s bad enough I have to see your balls squished onto my massage table, do us a favor
 and pack your meat up under your belly”. Humor helps in stiff situations. If they have their
 ass up in the air, it means their ass is an attention whore, so why let it down? Put one
 hand on top of your other hand and use full force when slamming his ass down onto the table.
 He will get the message loud and clear without you even speaking. If he asks, tell him it’s
the “Slam dunk method”.

Q.
For a year I have been seeing someone I have many things in common with, except I don't smoke pot
or do prescription drugs for pain and anxiety.  He always made me feel beautiful, respected and
pursued.  He always made the calls and arranged the dates.  But, he has made it clear to me he
doesn't like to be confronted or be the target of expressed anger.  Once Saturday night we went
out with his sister and her boyfriend to a music rave.  He took a walk with the boyfriend and left
 me with his sister.  When the boyfriend returned 15 minutes later he was alone.  My boyfriend
stayed in another part of the hotel watching some girl band singing and dancing by himself. He
stayed away almost an hour and I found him just because I was looking for something to do. His sister

had to set up her own band.  He came over to me buy I was livid. When he realized I was angry he froze me
out of the conversation later when the 4 of us ordered drinks at the bar. I was hurt and angry the
 rest of the night.  When our date was over he was annoyed at my anger.  He didn't call me for 2 weeks.
Then we exchanged a few emails, he called Easter and on my birthday. I couldn't see him the day he
 invited me to celebrate my birthday over a week ago, and I haven't heard from him since.  Should I
let him go? I rarely confront him, but I can't never get angry.
Fed Up Franny


A.
As nice as he may be, this ganja smoking Peter Pan is lost in his
own little never-never land. He can’t behave anyway
he wants and forbid any backlash. He is probably the youngest
child or a spoiled only child who always got his way.
I would ignore him and move on unless you want to walk on
eggshells your whole life long (exhausting!). If you really can’t live
without this sensitive control freak, let him do all the work, all of
the contacting and planning. Trying to turn a pot head/pill popper
 into a caring, thoughtful partner is an uphill battle. He sounds about
 as useful as a cat flap in an elephant house.

Q.
Why does it burn when my boyfriend cums in me?
Burning Bush Kate

 


A.
Think back. Did all of your other lover’s spunk burn you? If you have
 both been tested for STD’s and came out clean, this could be mother
natures way of saying "this guy is not the right one for you". Smell
and the way one makes you feel can really say a lot about a lover.
 “Love” should feel great, not painful and like someone used a flame
 thrower on your snatch.

Q.
On a recent night out with the girls, I fell ill and came home much earlier than I had planned
only to walk in on a horrifying scene. I am almost too embarrassed to even write it. My
husband was letting our dog lick his balls in the bathroom. I almost fainted when I saw this.
He poured chocolate sauce all over his testicles, making a huge mess on the floor and
submitted our poor dog to a crude act. I left and slept at my sisters house and instead of
being able to pour my heart out, I just can't get the courage to tell anyone but you. I am back at
home now but things are awkward between my man and I; I am hurt, angry and confused.
I feel he has cheated on me, but has he? I mean is that cheating? Is that sick enough that I should leave him?
Should he see a shrink? He claims he was just bored.
Humiliated Hannah

A.
*NOTE: This is the kind of question that makes people think I make them up but I don’t, the world is just full of horn dogs* Sigh.
If you really love him and this is the only problem, you may want to start licking his balls so your
dog doesn't have to do it anymore.. Everyone does daft, embarrassing things and you just happened to walk in on one of his.

Not cool using animals for sexual pleasure but life goes on. Buy a rubber tablecloth and some sugar free chocolate sauce

(to avoid any yeast infections) and show him you too, can lick his chocolate covered balls.

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot May 23, 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy..

 

Q.
I have met lots of guys who don't care what the woman wants but I've
met a couple who ask me what I want does this mean the feelings run deeper or
they are still after that one thing?
I've also have heard that if a guy helps you out with your bra and clothes
he loves you. Is this true or does this just show that he is a master player?
Young and curious

A.
Unless the man is flaming gay, he will want pussy. We are put on this earth to breed,
so naturally, they are after that "one thing". Their behavior is the important thing.
If they make you laugh, treat you well and you can feel that they love you, then they do.
Ignore the words; they can blind your judgment. You can't evaluate a man's love by things
like removing your knickers or asking how you like your oral, that's too general. Good men and players
alike will do such things. A man can say "I love you" a million times, but
if he is treating you like shit, what good are the mandatory verbal treats? It's his actions,
not his words that tell the truth.
 

Q.
My ex will NOT stop stalking me. He creates different email addresses and myspace accounts just
to torment and threaten me. All I did wrong was NOT want him anymore. It seems I have to pay
for that "mistake" the rest of my life. What is the best way to stop such a prick in his tracks?
Petrified Patty

A.
Print out all of his nasty messages; photocopy them several times, along with a picture of his face
attached to the stack of papers and bring them to his work/office/parents (whoever means the
most to him). Do the same with the emails, copy and paste them all into one long message and send
it to everyone you both know and in the subject line write "Isn't he a sweet heart?". If he keeps
bothering you, bring one of the "booklets" to the local police so they can keep it on file.
Asking a 6 foot tall male friend to visit him can't hurt either. Hammer time.

Q.
My husband and I have broken up a few times due to his inability to remain physically true. We
 are both Italian, so cheating usually isn't grounds for divorce (bad attitude is). After a 6
month break, we finally moved back in together and all is well except he won't make love to me.
Recently we were driving in my car, phone rang and it was a woman who said she has been seeing
 my husband for the last 20 years and that he married me secretly so she wouldn't find out and
 that he was two timing me. I knew about this skank already and he promised me he would delete
her number. I forced him to show me his cell phone. Her fucking number was still in there. I made
 him delete it right in front of me. I was calm, but cold to her on the phone and then ripped his
face off verbally.
He is seeing a therapist about his infidelity but I am wondering if you think a man like that
can ever really change. He claims he wants to have a baby this year. I am lost.
Just a Woman in love

A.
Next time she calls, tell her "Two timing? Oh honey, you got that all wrong. He is 4 timing and
you are just one of the holes he calls when he gets bored. Our relationship is an open one,
so just take a fucking number." Your apathetic attitude is your best weapon against her. Not
 sure he is worth all the effort though. He seems to have a problem with integrity in general;
not a good trait. Make a time limit in your mind and if hasn't straightened up by then, you
should cut your loses and move on. European or not, bullshit is an international turn off.

Q.
I have a bit of a problem. My clitoris is very tiny, I mean REALLY tiny. Even
when I'm aroused it's still really small. This makes it pretty much impossible
for me to orgasm because my clit is so sensitive. In fact, the only way I can
orgasm is by masturbating. I do it by laying on my stomach with my hands flat
under my abdomen  and grinding my clit up against my hands. I have to have
clothes on too, because it's too sensitive without it. This is very frustrating
for me and my husband because he doesn't know how to stimulate me because
every time he tries I have to make him stop,

So I was wondering, is there a way to make my clit bigger? I think this would
help me alot because the nerve endings in my clitoris wouldn't be all in one
itty bitty space, thus making it insensitive.

If there isn't a way, then what would you suggest I do? I've told him what I
like but he still can't do it, and orgasm by masturbation isn't so great
anyway because I feel like I'm not actually getting a good orgasm… they only
last about 5 seconds, if even.
Clitty Cat


A.
They have pumps out there you can buy, just like the penis enlargement pumps. I
think it's a bunch of bullshit, these tools may feel good and increase ones
confidence buy tricking people into thinking "My clit/cock is swollen, so it
must be bigger" but they don't work. Try using your husband instead of your
hand. Do exactly the same thing you do alone, but do it on top of him with
lots of lube. If that doesn't work, have him lick you, there is nothing softer
than a tongue for those sensitive spots.

Q.

I have a Fart question. I know you have written about how to avoid farting in
front of your lover, but these one cheek sneaks can't go on forever, can they?
I live with my boyfriend now and he farts around me, so when can I start farting
around him? This is the first time I have lived with a guy and my first long
term relationship. I don't want to let it all hang out and loose him, yet I hate running
to the bathroom every time my ass is acting up. When can we fart without shame?

Farting Frauline

 

A.

The Fart Threshold; an unavoidable topic when living together. If he is already telling
you he loves you, then it's ok to let one rip in front of him occasionally. You simply
 have to know if his love is real or not. Who wants conditional love? ("If you fart,
 I won't love you anymore"). Make it fun by blaming it on him . Men fart all
the time, their dogs fart all the time, so they will only be shocked the first time they
hear you cut one. When it does, giggle and change the subject; act like it never happened.

Q.
  I am the Husband of Tainted Tammy that has been writing you, you know "THE BITCH" that
 gets it 5 times a week, for which I am extremely thankful for. My side of it is that
 when we 1st met I let all my skeletons out of the closet which weren’t a lot but I was
a recreational intravenous drug user, (did it about 10 times my whole life) I got involved
with a bad bunch of people and I was the ride for the most part and didn’t have much of
a sex life due to an abusive up bringing at the hands of my father both physically
 & mentally since I was a wee boy. When it was her turn she told me she lost her virginity
@ 17 to a guy that was 21 & he raped her, so I said to myself @ that time "no big deal she
had sex with this guy 1 time it wasn’t her fault and that was the end of it" now 18 years
later she is telling me it was an ongoing sexual
relationship and each time I bring it up the story changes, I was so angry at this guy that
 I was going to inflict physical damage to him and get even as he took my wife’s purity
 from me but now that the truth has come out I feel I can’t hurt this guy because now I see
it was consensual on both parties. This all could’ve been avoided  if she was just up front
from the beginning; I would have married her anyway but I almost feel like she got me on
 false pretences, I love her with all my heart but the deceit really hurts after all these
 years, thanks,
Mr. Bitch

A.
That part was left out in her email to me; I didn't know she was lying about her past. But the past
is the past and I totally frown upon the idea of digging up one's “skeletons”, unless there’s
children involved. Since you were abused in the past, honest and purity must be extra important
to you; hence her blurry past is eating you alive. Take her for a walk and have her tell you the
 whole freakin’ story once and for all. Say "tell me the truth and I shall drop it forever!". Let
her vent and keep your word, just let it slide, otherwise it will just be a constant annoyance and
it will drive you both apart.
If you love each other and want to stay together, you need to clear this shit up. She said you were
 “depressed and
not the same anymore.” Why not tell her why? You have to communicate or it won't work. Just because
you weren't the first guy IN your woman, doesn't mean she isn't pure. She has been with you for years,
 and she has sex with you very often, that shows that her love for you is pure. You can't beat that.
 Let the past die, it's over, done with and know that we all make mistakes.
(*note: the wife has since written  and they’ve cleared everything up and are happy as clams in water)

Q.
I’m pregnant and very horny most of the time. My husband seems to be into it. We got married recently and he wanted kids right away, so here I am, pregnant and jealous. My first husband cheated and I’m paranoid again. I try to keep telling myself men cheat. I don’t ever want to be divorced again. I know if he did cheat I would have to cheat just to build up my ego also. I already have a child and realize how hard it is on a marriage. I’d like to feel like I shouldn't have to worry. I’m a pretty sexual person and love my husband and would like to feel like he only wants to be with me. He tells me he’s waited his whole life for me and wanted to be married and have a baby. He is  37 and I’m hoping he is really ready for all of this. He has been doing whatever he wants for so long. Are all men going to cheat no matter what?
Nervous & Knocked-up

pregnancy can be super sexy ^

A.
Some men cheat; so do some women, but there are those that are satisfied with what they have. The way you described your husband made it sound like he initiated the marriage and pregnancy, so you really don't have to worry.
Had you trapped him in a marriage due to an "accidental" pregnancy, well, then it would be a whole different situation. Your sex drive and confidence will keep everyone happy. Worrying while pregnant isn't good for the baby at all and it's pointless to stress about something that hasn't happened, so just breath deep and enjoy your bun in the oven and the hot baker who helped make it.

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot May 14, 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy..

Q.
I am dating a guy, since 3 weeks now and he keeps talking about his ex.
He has shown me many pictures of her, some nude ones as well, and she is
 fucking gorgeous and it makes me feel inadequate. Now that I think back,
 most of the men I have dated have pulled this shit. I am always polite and give compliments,but inside I
want to (a) rip up the cunts picture (b) knee the guy in the balls for showing it to me.
 How can I  stop such ignorant behavior without coming across as insecure or bitchy?
Sick of it all Sally

A.
It’s ridiculously easy to get pictures of giant cocks online. Craigslist is
 famous for having people post nude pic’s of themselves. Find a picture of
the biggest cock you can find, hell, most guys who have monster cocks are
happy to send them to any curious female  (or male for that matter). Print it out (or save it on your computer) and
 when a guy shows you pictures of his hot ex girlfriend, show him the monster cock and say
“well, this is the only picture I saved of Dan” (< insert any name). That will shut him the fuck up.

Q.
 
I totally love my wife, but the sex is FAILING…she'll let me do whatever I want,
most whenever I want, but she does nothing in return.  NOTHING.  It's miserable.
Like spankin' the monkey.  We're both working hard and have a busy family. 
What should I do?  Is there no way out? Does this mean it’s time for an affair?
Divorce?
Fucking the Boring Golden Cage

^ Help her live out her fantasies 

A.
On one hand, you have it better than most guys; at least she lets you "do
whatever you want, when ever you want", which is more than most married men get.
 But it is no fun having a passive partner. Mix things up a bit, hire a baby
sitter and bring her to a hotel, bring her lingerie shopping and fuck in the
 dressing room.  Ask her what would turn her on? It's a popular, but sad dilemma.
 The old challenge was to get the girl, now it’s keep her hot and horny. Massage,
 wine, hotels, porn, vacations, you really have to work at it to keep your busy
wife in the mood to be your sexy bitch under the sheets.

Q.
My name is Michelle and I am 12 years old.  I am not really sure what I am.  I
love men, but I think more about women sex, and all that shit.  I guess I wish
I had a boyfriend at school, but when I come home, (and at school sometimes) I
am all about women, and masturbating.  I was wondering if you could help me
with two things (by the way my parents don't know and I would like to keep it
that way)
1. What am I?  Lesbian, Bisexual, Bi-curious, Straight?
2. How can I make myself cum without my parents finding out?
I masturbate when I am in bed, on the toilet and in the shower.
Please help me figure this out, I feel I am a grown up woman in a little girl’s
body, I am ready to explore and want to be ready for when IT first happens.
Please don’t patronize me because of my age; I am very mature in every way.
Lolita

 
A.
Part of being 12 years old is discovering who and what you are, which
could change several times in your lifetime.
There is no need to label yourself, just do what you like and what feels
natural. Most young girls feel more comfortable experimenting with other
young girls as their bodies are so similar and it feels safe and comfortable.
It could be you end up a lesbian or it could be that you get bored of girls
and yearn for boys sooner or later, only time will tell and you have lots of it
so stop stressing about your genitals and concentrate on school or you won't
have a home to masturbate in once you leave school.
Ps. If your parents haven’t noticed that you are masturbating in the shower,
toilet and in bed, I sincerely doubt the will notice you having an orgasm.
Perhaps part of the reason you are giving yourself so much attention, is
because you are yearning for some unconditional love from them. Speak up;
 tell them you need a hug.

Q.
  I've been dating my boyfriend for five months now. It’s actually no longer
dating but a serious relationship. We have talked a lot about our relationship
and he told me that he can see a future with me, which I am very happy about
because he is an amazing guy and I really like him. So here is the
problem, we went drinking the other night and he told
me that he doesn’t like my bag because its ugly. I didn’t get offend after all he
is my boyfriend I want him to be honest. But he also told me that he had spoiled
his exes in the past. He told me he got one a Gucci bag and a lot of
other expensive things. He also said that he spoiled them all but me. I don’t
know how I should take this. How should I take this?? I'm not a materialistic
girl but I feel that it’s so unfair because I have done a lot more for him in
these 5 months than his exes ever could. he's the one with the well paid job
but I’ve been the one spoiling him and he claims that he can see a future with
me and didn’t with his exes yet he spoiled them and here he is telling me that my
stuff is ugly but hasn’t got me anything like he had for his exes. How should I
go about dealing with this? I'm hurt and frustrated. please help thanks.
Whipping Post Pauline

A.
A lot of men start out spoiling their girlfriends, and unfortunately, each time
they get hurt and/or burned, the toughen up, become harder, more jaded, but that
is how they become a man, one that can focus on his career and then his girlfriend,
not the other way around. Face it, if a man is completed besotted with his lady, he
is soft and may find it hard to concentrate on his work, which in counterproductive
if he wants to take care of his lady and their future children. It's hard for men in
that sense; they want to be kind, but have to protect themselves from being turned
into a powerless wad of jelly. A good man concentrates on work, but is still kind and
attentive to his lady. Some lose balance and decide "I am never going to be that
generous and sweet again; the next girl will suffer and know who the boss is!” This
is indeed unfair to the next girlfriend, who is; in this case you with the ugly cheap bag.
You have to let him know it is ignorant to tell you about spoiling his ex's and it's like
throwing pearls at swine, bragging about the expensive gifts while degrading your
accessories (only gay men even notice a fucking hand bag!).
Write him a note and say the only time you want him to mention bags is when he is
buying you one or putting his “bags” on your face. Just because you are into this man,
 doesn't mean you have to put up with that arrogant behavior. He was obviously hurt by
 one of these Gucci loving bitches and is taking it out on you. Mention that you too
deserve to be spoiled, and it doesn't
have to be with material items either. If he won't spoil you, make yourself available
for the one who will. 

Q
I’m the mother of 2 young women. I never tell them when
or with whom to have sex, simply because I know I can't control this, and they will
do what they want or need to do. I want them to be good people who enjoy sex
and every other part of their lives. I have always been open with them when they have asked
any questions about sex and relationships. So, between me, their friends, the pop
culture and the internet, I know they have any info they need about sex and relationships
-short of the hindsight gained by good and bad experiences of their own. I am most fearful
though that my opinion about something going on in the life of my 20 year old, is the wrong
one for a mother to have. Nonetheless, it is my opinion.

She is in love with a 44 year old married man.
They would probably be a fine couple. I have told her that it might be the best thing
to back off because she will ultimately not be able to feel good about being a wedge between
two married people. This woman (his wife) could be her, could be me, could be her friend.
And, would it ever be possible for her to be trusting of a person who has cheated on a wife
or someone he has made a commitment to?

I can't say that she's making a wrong decision, because I am not my daughter.
She was born with the maturity of a 21 year old, and this man (I've not ever met him.)
is a youthful 44 year old with the spirit of a 21 year old. He is not a player.
I've checked him out without his knowing so.

Are my Morals out of whack? Am I being too
"Non-judgmental”? I’ve told her all of the drawbacks of this situation but
I want to support her and I know of others enjoying age gap relationships, like Celine Dion,
Michael Douglas, Nicolas Cage, etc.

I have been married for 25 years and there isn’t any divorce in either of
our family histories. I am pretty sure that there has been cheating whether hidden or
accepted in those histories. I don't like cheating. It makes me sad just to hear of it.
Then there is Karma and another man or woman with a potentially shattered life.
Why am I not preaching to my daughter about "morals"? Tell me please, I can take it.
Momma Karma

A.
Young girls love to see how much power their pussy has: Could it lure another man away
from another woman? Could it break up a marriage? Can I make boys buy me things with it?
It's a big power thrill and an incredible aphrodisiac.
Flirting with and/or fucking a married person is like playing with fire. There are enough single
people around to seduce. The unhappily married person should have the balls to end their marriage
before starting another relationship on the side. I am against marriage in the first place; just
the pressure of being so tied down makes most want to stray at one point or another, so why fucking
pretend? Sure, being married makes it nice for the kids at school and gives people a tax break,
but it's an old fashioned tradition that ends in divorce more that 50% of the time.
If he did leave his wife for her, she would have a new title: "home wrecker" and most
of the time, when a man leaves his wife for his mistress, the mistress gets bored, as the challenge
is gone. Buy a copy of the book called 'The Rules for your daughter and leave it in her room.
It's not the greatest advice, certainly not as modern as mine but it will show her that she is in fact,
getting the short end of the stick. Don't be a friend; be a parent and tell her you don't approve.
Karma will prove to her that it's not a good idea to touch other women's men, as what goes around,
will in fact, come around.

Q.
Tell me why, why, why every single website that involves sex winds up (quickly)
with the guy getting a blow job?  I am straight as an arrow, but since I love
having my tits sucked long and hard, sometimes I would like to watch before my
boyfriend comes over to get me started.  I look for sites with strictly tit
sucking and find virtually nothing.  It says, "watch the blonde get her tits
sucked just before she goes down on the guys cock"?  Give me a break.  How about
something to get the girls going"?  Maybe I should write a sex story about it. 
I did that for a friend of mine and he said every time he reads that e-mail
again, he gets off.  It almost all of it is about having my tits hanging in his
face and him working them over.  Must work for some guys too!  Thanks.  Your
column is great!

Tittie Talia

A.
That's an easy question to answer. Most porn is made by men for men, so
tit sucking is just a tiny side order. They make it obvious what really
turns them on, marathon blow jobs, DP and all those sticky cum shots.
Perhaps this is a challenge for you, start producing some porn that will
turn women on and we can finally abolish that annoying belief that using
the tip of your tongue to flick the clit for a few seconds actually does
anything for us. Why not film your boyfriend grabbing, licking and sucking
your jugs for a good half hour and next time you want to rub one out,
you can just watch your personalized video and wank.

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot…. March 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…

Q.
My husband turns 42 this year and he's become this insecure person.  He was never like
this very insecure, withdrawn, needy, and at times high strung. We have sex 5 times a
 week sometimes twice a day.  He brings up my first long term relationship up constantly.
 This past relationship was 23 years ago, lasted 2 years and I was only 17. I have been
 married to my Husband for 17 years and now this is coming up in conversation constantly.
 My first relationship was HELL, we hardly saw each other and all we did was fight and
 I chose to forget about it a long time ago but he keeps bringing it up because the
 fuck I was with took my virginity and my husband feels it was
 Memorable, but not for me because it was basically forced and at that age and you put
yourself in stupid situations.  I don't think there are too many women out there that say
 what a beautiful experience it was losing their virginity. I am sure there is some but
 it's not the majority.  My question is how do I get him to get past this?  Or is it
something I have to live with?  Should I let him go and maybe he can find himself a
“memorable” virgin to deflower?  I don't want him to tear me down to bits so I feel
tainted while I am married to him.  But I don't know how much more of this I can take-please
 advise!! By the way LOVE YOUR COLUMN-IT IS THE BEST!!!!!! 
Tainted Tammy

A.
The Bitch gets sex more than 5 times a week, even after 17 years of marriage
 (this must be a world record)  and yet he is still “insecure, withdrawn, needy, and
at times high strung"?
What a spoiled prick. Dogs, like Men, are on their best behavior when they want to be
fed. Keep his "bowl" half full, as in; keep him hungry for you and he may be a bit nicer
to you. Being TOO nice to men, giving them TOO much sex doesn't make them love you more,
 it can have the opposite effect, it can make them ungrateful, lazy and it can turn them
 into monsters. Sure, they all say they want sex everyday, but then there is NO
challenge and they feel they have all the power, like yours; he feels so powerful that
he picks on you about something that happened decades ago. Ask him "are you that fucking
 bored?” Tell him you are done talking about the past and it’s killing your sex drive to
 the point where you don't want to fuck him anymore let alone several times a week if he
 keeps up this bullshit.
He is probably unhappy about other things, like turning 42, and no matter how much pussy
 he gets, it won't make him happy, only he can make himself happy, so stop trying so
 hard to please him, you are only making it worse. Sometimes when people are miserable,
 they actually resent folks being too nice to them as they subconsciously feel they don't
 deserve it. In other words, he doesn't deserve all that pussy if he is being a wanker.
Good luck with that, I would tell him to be nice and drop the past or move the fuck on
 as he obviously doesn’t know how good he has it.

Q.
I have a girlfriend whom I love very much and she loves me very much. Making
love is like unbelievable; we both have a great connection and 80% of the time
we both orgasm together. Though it seems like every time she is on top of me I
can’t seem to hold an erection for more then 5 minutes. In fact when I feel my
self losing my erection, I switch positions right away. I have never ever had
this problem with other woman before. One thing I noticed is that she gets very
wet and usually cums two to three times, and literally drips gulps of fluid. Do
you think it's her fluid that is making me lose my erection? I can’t understand
this. please help me.
Wet Willy

A.
You say it didn't happen with other women, so it could be her dripping wet pussy
gets too loose/relaxed to keep your cock hard. It is a compliment that she gets so wet,
so be sure not to whine about it, just take your hand from time to time, and wipe
her pussy (ask her to lift up for a second and wipe her). Your dry (clean) hand will take
enough excess fluid away to regain some resistance which you surely loose when it
gets so slippery, hence you loose your stiffy. If your hand isn't enough, then you
should keep a clean, soft rag around to sop up her juice from time to time; mop that
baby up and keep going as a juicy girl is good thing.

Q.
My wife and moved to Berlin, Germany 6 months ago as my job has relocated me here.

(we are both from the UK). She can't
speak German and hasn't been able to find a decent job. She is extremely fit, very
good looking indeed and so I wasn't that surprised (but not happy) to find out that
she is working for an online, sexy web cam chat thingy. One of my work mates found her
and actually paid her for a chat (he claims he was just checking to make sure it wasn’t full nudity,
it’s topless). We had a giant argument about this and she doesn’t see
anything wrong with it, but I want her to quit. I feel World War 3 coming on, please
answer fast.
Nervous Nate

A.
You can’t force her to stop so try to think positive; those girls can earn loads of cash,
they never meet the men they chat with and it’s good for her ego; getting told she
looks good will boost her confidence and sex drive. Plus, she is obviously grooming
 herself well, so she will stay looking hot for you too. Women do those things for two
 reasons (1) Not enough income (2) They like to be admired and looked at. It could be worse,
 she could be stripping in a club, where men can meet her and maybe even touch her. So
count your blessings, your double income and be happy you married such a sex bomb you
lucky bastard.

Q.
 
A few years ago, my wife was attacked and
robbed in a bar she worked in. Her and the
manager were stripped and left bound and gagged
for hours until they were able to work themselves
free. She said she was "fondled slightly" by the criminal,
who she has described as "not unattractive."
She says it could have led to rape although it didn’t,
but the probability of it kept her wet!
Ever since that incident, she constantly referrers to it
during our love making. She admitted almost
from the day it happened that she was aroused by
the entire thing and masturbates while
thinking about it and she says she cums the hardest
while thinking about the ordeal while we screw.
Now she wants me to tie her up and re-create it.
I refused.  I'll talk about it, but not this.
She now calls it an "erotic encounter!"  It was a crime,
not an encounter or a fantasy. It makes me very upset.
How can something like this be arousing? I'm concerned
 that she has some type of personality disorder.
What do you think?
Disgusted Dan
 
A.
It's common for people to find a sexual way to look
at drama in order to digest and deal with it.
Had your wife been violently hurt and still wanking over it,
then perhaps she has a screw loose but if she was just stripped,
 gagged and fondled perhaps that turned her on. Imagine you were
stripped and gagged by a hot female thief? Try to put yourself
in her shoes.  If this is the only thing that makes you think
she could be nuts, I’d let it slide.
She is just a pervert in bed and lord knows there are loads of
those around.
There is no way to change her way of thinking and the more you
tell her it's sick or wrong, the more forbidden and naughty it
 will get for her. Why not tie her up once and act it out, just
to shut her up and make her fantasy finally come true.
Even people who have never been raped act it out in the bedroom
 as a fantasy.
Try it once then tell her later that you are getting bored
reliving her “encounter” and you want to play out one of your
 fantasy’s now  and don't sugar coat it either. If you can’t beat
 ‘em, join ‘em.

 

Q.
I have a perfect BF who treats me great but I have taken advantage.
 For the last few months I have been a vicious shrew to him. I said
some really cruel stuff that I didn’t mean!. He is still with me but
 the twinkle in his eye has gone, and I can sense he’s lost his
confidence. He used to be so funny and full of life. To make things
 worse, the hot bartender at our drinking hole has noticed our relationship
 sinking and she now flirts with him in her slutty clothes; last time
we were there she was really pushing it, I know she wants him. He goes there
 on his own sometimes, what can I do to stamp my mark on him again? She
 wasn’t sniffing around before when things were perfect. My eyes are starting
to water now thinking about it. I care about him and want to make it up
to him. How can I get him back to his normal self? Why did I act like that?
 Flirting with Disaster

 


A.
Don’t worry about “getting him back to his normal self”, you need to
 get back to normal. Sometimes we use our partner/lover as a whipping
 post, we forget that only our parents have to love us, anyone else
can (and will) walk away if you treat them badly. Perhaps you are drinking
 too much caffeine? Caffeine can make people very edgy and bitchy.
Think hard about your habits and routines and see if you can find any thing
 that is contributing to your bitchy behavior. Some people get too cozy when
 they are being treated well. They start to get high off of the power of
 having the upper hand in the relationship and they just take advantage,
like you were doing.
Write him an honest letter; keep it short and sweet, tell him you are embarrassed
 for being so evil and ask him if there is anything you can do to make it
 up to him. Don't go over board though; just start being sweet and grateful
 right away. Massage him, give him loads of oral and let him do most of the
talking for a while, and give him some space. When he reaches out, be there,
 be kind and if you two are meant to stay together, things will be like they
used
 to be, sparkle and all. Now about the hot vulture. Never mention her to
 him and vice versa! That would only make them gravitate towards each other.
Start giving him amazing, really long blow jobs, take your sweet old time,
and sit him naked on the corner of a bad, kneel down on a pillow, naked on
the floor in front of him, make sure there is a mirror in back of you, so
 he can see you from behind while you blow him and lick his balls,. I doubt
going to a bar would be on his mind anymore. Dress sexy around him, red dress
, cleavage, STOCKINGS.
 Start doing fun things with him, tell him the bar is starting to bore you,
 bring him bowling, out to karaoke, anything that would keep you two out of
 that bar and be fun! (try to do this transition slowly, so he doesn't think
 you are going over board).
When you see the bitch at the bar, be really nice and friendly to her and
 tip her a lot, it's harder for a girl to steal another girl’s man when she
is "friends" with her.

Posted on

Bring “Ask Dr. Dot” back to the NY Press (hey, it’s worth a shot)

The NY Press is apparently regretting letting my sex column "Ask Dr. Dot" go this past September. How do I know? All of the bad press they are receiving about the hiring and firing of several sex columnists since mine was dropped. Hey, we all make mistakes. 

Please write to the editor of the NY Press (David Blum) that you would like to see my column back in their paper:

EDITORIAL@NYPRESS.COM

 

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot …… Jan. 9th 2007

Feel free to send me your questions. I never use anyone's real name, so don't be shy…

 

 

Q.
I am dating a college guy, who seems like a potential long-term partner. All of his friends
are married (which is a good sign) and when he invites me out on dates, it’s usually with
 a few other couples. Last time the husbands were very friendly to me and I got bitchy
vibes from the wives. I can’t help it if I am like one of the guys—I am fun. It’s been a
week since I heard from him and I sense it could be due to the ice storm from the wives—they
 may have scathed their husbands and him for having such a social girlfriend. I also told him
in a drunken moment that I am only interested in having fun and not looking for anything serious.
 How can I make things better? I don’t want to lose him.

—Skated on Thin Ice

A.

It’s great that he hangs with relationship minded couples and a good sign that he brings you
into his social circle. One on one dating is already nerve wracking but when you toss in a few
bitchy females and flirty males it becomes a complicated high school style Bitch-fest. Let him
contact you first, as nothing keeps a man away from a woman he adores, not even a challenging
 comment like “I don’t want anything serious.” When he does contact you (if he doesn’t,
it’s his loss) tell him you love being with him but are too shy for group dates. If he insists,
 agree but tell him you would prefer just drinks or just dinner and to look for your “lets leave”
 glance because you can’t wait to get him alone to suck his cock. Just be yourself and if the
ladies don’t like you, they will hopefully ban their husbands from dates that include you,
 saving you from being the complicated nag.

Q.
My new boyfriend leaves stuff behind every time he comes over to fuck me. He also leaves a mess
 in my kitchen. Everything else is perfect. How can I tame this cave man?

—Tidy Tess

 

A.
He is marking his territory, and if he is the only one you are dating/shagging, find a corner
or drawer for his left behind “markings” and if that is only bad thing he does is leave a mess
 in your kitchen, consider your self lucky, it’s not even worth mentioning. Let it slide and
save the bitching for important things like cheating, blatantly drooling over other women in
your presence or making you buy your own dinner/drinks.

 

 

Q.
I’m not sure how to handle this situation.  I am engaged to a woman who
used to have a 4 year relationship with another woman.  Everything
couldn’t be better with her accept I have a small concern which I have to
say does not affect how I feel about her I love her dearly.  I fully
satisfy her sexually, whether it be through intercourse, oral sex or a
good ol masturbation.  The intercourse is Great!!  She on the other hand
has given me maybe three blow jobs which she did not finish off, and one
hand job, during the span of almost 2 years. I don't want to sound like I
am complaining and being selfish.  That is furthest from the truth.  I
THINK I could live without those things it's just like missing out on a
bit of fun.  Now, we have agreed no intercourse until we are married which
is about three months away.  Again, I have satisfied her sexual hunger in
every other way, and she has not even put her hand on my member, so
needless to say, I am experiencing a bit of sexual frustration.  How do I
handle this other that coming right out with it.  "Why don't you suck my
dick!?"  I don't see that working to well.  I don't doubt her love for me
at all, I just think she may still be a bit repulsed with the thought of
putting my dick in her mouth or jerking me off.  How do I tactfully deal
with this?

Sincerely

Blue Balls

shagging is fun, but nothing beats oral pleasure

 

A.
You confuse me; you say "The intercourse is great" then you say "we
have agreed to no intercourse before marriage". Wtf? She was fucking you
but now suddenly, no sex (apart from you licking her out on a regular basis)
until you walk down aisle with her?
What we have here is a woman who doesn't appreciate your cock enough to do
to it what a cock loves the most, getting head. Asking "Why don't you suck my
dick?" is a perfect question, it hits the nail right on the head, but maybe you have to
rephrase it a bit. I have said this before, but maybe you missed it, just stop
going down on her and when she asks why, say "good question, I was going to
ask you the same thing, why the lack of oral sex?".
3 unfinished blow jobs in 4 years, now no hot beef injections until marriage
 and you STILL want to marry her? Her pussy must
be lined with velvet my friend. Be a man and speak up about your normal, healthy oral sex
craving and find out before you take the leap if you are in for a life time of
this one sided oral sex routine BULLSHIT. Sounds to me like you are settling. If you marry
her you may end up cheating to get your cock sucked elsewhere, so think hard about this,
you need to step up to the plate before it's too late.

Q.
 I'm dating this girl and last night on my way home from a business meeting and I drove by her
 house (it's on the way to my house from that part of town, I'm not a stalker) our subdivisions
 are close to each other. Anyway her long term ex-boyfriend was at her house. It was like 10 PM.
 That made me kinda nervous because I spoke to her an hour before that and she said she was in
bed and getting ready to go to sleep. So now I'm kinda bummed out. She called me a little while
ago this morning and she said she was tired and I asked her what time she went to sleep and she
said like 9 ish. I was trying to quiz her hoping that she wouldn't lie to me and didn't mention
that I drove by her house. I'm mostly bothered because I feel like she's lying to me. It doesn't
 bother me that she was hanging out, even though the ex bf thing makes me skeptical. 
How do I handle a situation like this?
You are my hero,
Pissed off Paul

 

A.

If she was in bed with him, sleeping, then she isn't a liar, just a two timing cunt. Heh heh.
No, seriously it could be she is just dating more than one guy.
Since you are only "dating" I would keep my options wide open, (pun intended) like she is, and
 instead of wasting energy on someone you now know you can't trust, take that energy and go out
and meet other girls. Is she really worth all the hassle?
If you DO decide to confront her, make sure it's in person, so you can see her face and watch for
 tell tale signs of lying (pathetic shocked look on red face; going into extreme details and
having your questions mainly answered with questions). Be prepared for her to say she is seeing
other men but there is still no excuse for her lying to you and if you tell her how you know, she
will think you have been stalking her. I would just move on and play the field, but if you do shag
her again, make sure you have condoms with you.

Q.
                       
I have made a foe par on quiet a large scale. I was on the phone to my girlfriend of 6 months,
 as the conversation came to the end I blurted out 'I love ya'… it wasn't even 'I love you’ but
 'ya' . She promptly squeaked and we both hung up! I feel like such a fuck face, it's such a
silly way to say those words for the first time, but it just happened.  It’s not the kind of
thing I say lightly at all; I really do feel it for her. I just thought when I told her if would
 be  a) a little bit later on b) in a much better way.
 My wonderful male intuition doesn't give me much of an idea if she feels the same, or how I can
 come back from this situation with my head held high. What’s the best course of action? WTF?

 
Terrible Call Terry

 

A.
Be grateful she didn't say it first, as that would be even more difficult. It would be best not
 to mention your slip up, just say it again the next time you two are doing the dirty. Rolling
 around on top of each other is a great atmosphere for professing one's love. If she doesn't
say it back but keeps dating you and everything else is fine, it could mean she is just the
type who takes her time with that. I know people who never say it and who could blame them?
 Actions are always more important than words in a relationship.

Q.
My wife reads you religiously and I need some help, I have a great wife who loves me to no
end and I have a relationship most would be jealous of, my problem is I am a porn junkie
dating back to before I knew her, She just found a bunch of adds that I printed from Craigslist.com,
 I never act on them or call any of the girls but I do email back and forth to them and she has
seen this. I love her with all my heart, we have a very active sex life 3-4 times a week and she
is always willing to experiment with me in the bedroom, we have been married for 18 years and I
am still very much attracted to her, I just don't know why I am so curious to go back to this site.
Why?!
Junk Junkie

Some images are hard to resist ^

 

A.
Because you're a man. You didn't mention her reaction. I think looking at porn is fine; communicating
with these girls from your past is rude to your wife. How would you like her keeping in touch with
 hot men from her past, just to be "friends"? Always turn the situation around and put yourself in
the other person's shoes. Watching is fine, actively keeping in touch while married is pushing the envelope.

Q.
I want to try talking dirty to my boyfriend, as I like it when a guy talks dirty to me in bed. We have
slept together a few times already and unfortunately, he hasn't even come close to dirty talk. He is 24
 and I am 21, and he is rather shy but great in bed. How do I introduce dirty talk in bed without
coming across as, well, a pushy, dirty whore.
Dirty Dana

Speaking your mind is refreshing ….

A.
Get him to mount you, doggy style, as there is less pressure when you are not eye to eye and say
 "fuck me harder", see his reaction, if he goes with it, then toss in a few other lines
like "my pussy LOVES you in there" etc, and hopefully after a few rounds of you being vocal, he will
 know it's safe to try it as well. You may have to ask him to talk dirty to you, as some men respect
 women so much that are hesitant to blurt out "you like that you dirty bitch?" to a girl. Say it
over drinks one night that it would really turn you on if he spoke dirty to you in bed, this will
 give him a chance to tell you if he likes it or not as asking him during sex may make him feel
obligated and/or cornered if he really doesn't like it.

 

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot December 21 2008 (Happy Birthday Frank Zappa :)

Q.

I have a question on etiquette for casual-sex pals. By "pals" I mean that the
only kind of interaction I have with this person is purely sexual (aside from
the pleasantries of "how are you" on the way in and "have a good day" on the way
out. Even though I'm sure to be equipped with the appropriate prophylactic, my
pal brings over condoms. He throws the four or five condoms on the floor near
where we're getting it on. If we happen to just use one condom, he's always sure
to grab the three or four unused condoms on the way out. Now, something about
that act seems almost rude. It's like when you bring over a cake or a bottle of
wine to Simeon's house for dinner: you don't take the leftovers home with you.
Do you think it's rude to take home the unused party favors, even if they're
condoms?
Condom Snob
  < Don't be a cheap bastard

A.
It is tacky to take the unused condoms with you. It's like saying "I will
definitely need these between now and the next time I will be in you, and I am
definitely too cheap to buy new ones for my new conquests." The only thing worse
would be for him to come empty handed and expect you to supply the condoms, then
take a few with him.
Aaah, the perks of casual sex.

Q.
Hi Dr. Dot,
Your column rocks!
I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year. I'm 45, she's 33, both in
great health. I came close to breaking up with her a few times within the
first four months, as she did not want to become intimate. She convinced me to
stay, and we've been having sex for several months now, and we're monogamous.
However, she's the least sexual person I've ever been with- she does not like
me to touch or kiss her vagina (even the lightest touch is met with "it hurts,
please don't touch down there"). She has a very methodical system of having
sex; first she masturbates to orgasm, and then allows me entry. This is the
only way she'll allow it. No oral either way, and not even any kissing. This
is barely acceptable to me, but the frequency which she allows (I want it
every day, she allows it once a week) is not acceptable at all. Also, she
never uses her tongue to kiss, keeps her mouth closed, and our kissing never
lasts more than a few seconds. When I bring any of this up, she says I a
m calling her an "ice princess", calling her frigid, which she gets very
defensive about. She claims there has never been any molestation in her past,
and that she's normal and I'm oversexed. I've had long-term, very sexual
relationships in the past without complaint, but I don't know how to handle
this, other than breaking it off. She's a wonderful girl and very much
marriage material, other than this issue.
Do you have any advice?
At Arms Length Larry
A.
You want it "every day"? Good luck finding someone who wants it every day for
ever and ever. Anything less than once a week is bullshit but every day could
turn into a chore. A dull routine.
In my opinion, you will have to leave her OR marry her and cheat to get your
fill. Imagine a whole life of no head, no French kissing etc.
*yawn*

Q.
I still live with my parents, even though I am 23. I am a very horny girl,
compared to my friends. I like to have random sex (always safe sex!) with men
I just met at a party or bar. I have fucked a few guys in public and it turns
me on more than in a bed. Any ideas or tips on how to make things run
smoother? I always end up getting disturbed when I jam out with my clam out.
Spanish Fly-girl

A.
Lead your prey into the ladies room and bring him into a stall. Lock the door
and in the doggy style position, have one hand on the flusher and one on back
of toilet. Every time someone
knocks or gets nosey, make really loud vomiting sounds, like you are puking
your guts out and flush periodically. This yakking sound usually sends people
running. If he can keep shagging you through all that, he is a keeper.
Construction sites, stair ways of hotels and malls are usually empty, just aim
for the top floor so there is no traffic. I still haven't joined the Mile High
club yet but I can imagine that would be the hottest, riskiest place ever.

Q.
I am a flaming gay, hot 20 year old guy. I live in an area that is plagued by
straight college guys, which make me Horney but confused. How do I tell if
they can be swayed to take a walk on the wild side? I don't want to get
punched out but I have to get laid or my blue balls will start dragging on the
fucking ground. Send help fast.
Dainty Danny


 
A.
Eye contact has got to be the best way to tell if a guy likes to pack
chocolate or not. When you gaze into their eyes and they get pissed off,
bingo, not gay. Posting ad's online will save you time as well as telling
waiters who you KNOW are gay that you are going home to have a pull should get
you laid in no time. Embrace your sexuality, if you are gay, let it be known
and word will get out and hopefully the guys who are curious or also queer
will gravitate towards you. Straight guys know that buying lots of drinks for
their date increases their chances of getting in there, so why not try it on
yours?

Q.
How can I tell if a guy has a big dick? Gawking at their hands and feet has
let me down in the past.
Desperately Seeking Big Dick

  < Big Nose; Big hose

"Wie die Nase des Mannes, so sein Johannes; An der Nase des Mannes erkennt man seinen Johannes"

A.
The Germans say you can tell by how big/small the man’s nose is. If you have a
chance, just make out with them, clothes on, just bumping, grinding, feeling
around. If he doesn’t measure up to your cock standard, stop kissing and tell
him “I am sorry, we are moving too fast” and politely end the date/face
sucking session and move on. My girlfriends and I have concluded that most men
with giant dicks are usually GIANT DICKS. Sadly.

Q.

Here's my story
I’m 32 and find myself in my first relationship ever – I’ve never felt too comfortable,
 nor turned on, by sex….and now I have a boyfriend that I like but I am not turned on
when we have sex…and needless to say, I do not cum….I’m somewhat self-conscious
 when it comes to broaching this up with him, but I would like to enjoy sex with him but
 am not sure if this is possible-how do I find out what turns me on (and no, I
do not have an active imagination.I’ve tried.I do not even care to masturbate.
waiting and Wanting

^ Don't wait, Masturbate

A.
If you are on the birth control pill, overweight or depressed, that could be the reason
for your lack of sex drive. If none of those apply,
it could be that you are just not a sexual person, in this case, my
heart goes out to you.
Just like a smoker can't quit unless he wants to, a non sexual person can't cum
 unless they want to. Only you can an swer that question.
You are right not to tell him your dilemma, as no man wants to hear that their
 Girlfriend doesn't like to fuck. However, if you are screwing and
there is a spot that you want to him rub/lick/reach, then make sure you tell him.
 Communication is the key to good sex. Maybe you don't like to masturbate because
you haven't done it correctly. Soooo, start practicing asap.

Q.
I am finally single again after 6 long years of HELL with my ex girlfriend who loathed sex.
Now I am dating a married mother of 2, yes, I know I'm a mother fucker. She said she will never
leave her rich but boring husband but loves to fuck me. Problem is, she is super jealous. She
has been bitching about my female friends and even trying to read my text messages etc.
I find the attention flattering as my ex didn't give a shit but I am starting to feel smothered.
How can I improve this otherwise perfect set up?
Backdoor Man
A.
The best way to stop jealousy is to stop it right away. Show your new partner their boundaries as soon
as they start to over step them. Telling a woman "I find jealous very unattractive; a complete
TURN OFF!". This should end it, if not she is stubborn or dumb, both traits are worse than jealousy.
Remind her gently that she is sleeping with another man every night, then kiss her to shut her up.

Q.
Is it bad to not really wanna date guys with no money anymore?  Been there done that, the whole
 broke guy thing, and I just feel like I am going backwards when I start dating guys with little
funds. I am not superficial like it sounds, and I know guys with bucks can be dicks, too.
Anyway, I have a lot of guys asking me out these days, but none that really really have their
shit together, and I feel that going out with them is a waste of time since I know that I really
don't want them.  I would rather be alone honestly than do a sympathy date or fuck. And I don't
think I am shutting myself out to some great guys because I dated so many from all over the world
that I feel my weeding out factor is strong now. I just wonder if now my standards are ridiculous.
high, that is.

Classy Kate

A.
Men leave their old wives for young, fertile women all the time. Men stare at young, perky tits on a
daily basis, not only because they look gorgeous, but because it's natures way of drawing them to a
fertile partner. The same goes for women being drawn to strong, secure men, which used to be just
a muscular thing centuries ago, but now, a bank account has replaced the muscle attraction for most
women. Just like animals, the female chooses the most eligible partner to breed with, so do modern
ladies. It doesn't mean they are gold digger's, it means they are looking for a secure man to have
kids with and/or to settle down with. Making sure he can take care of you and your possible offspring
is normal. Some men actually respect and yearn for a woman who expects a lot from them. It somehow
motivates them,it challenges them and most men LOVE a challenge! (Sports, wars, competitions, gambling).
Nothing wrong in falling for a man who can also support you. "Would you walk away from a fool and his money?”

Q.

Please forgive my English, I am French. For four months, I lived with my girlfriend and
 her 4-year-old daughter. My girlfriend is always stressed … I did everything possible
 to help her; I take good care of the child. She moved in with me because she lived in
a far away town. Since she moved in, she seems always under stress and the result is
that she is angry for no reason and talks to me like crap. Plus, she is always so tired
and we have sex only two to four times a month (at the beginning it was a least everyday,
 sometimes twice a day)! The point is, when we do, sex is always very wild and good.
I love sex, maybe too much, and I feel I don't have enough. The more I ask my girlfriend,
 the less I have. She tells me it’s not about me, that it’s only because her work is
 bothering her, that she is not used to the stress of living in a big city, plus the
fact that my flat is too small (one room for the two of us plus her daughter). I can
understand her reasons, but the point is I really feel like starving for sex.

—Crazy Horse

A.
Now you know why I frown upon living with a lover. If you love sex, don’t live together.
 I know, it’s too late and most folks aim for it their whole life, but that is my personal
 opinion. If you have to live with someone, having your own room could keep things hot,
 so save up and get a bigger place—it will be worth every penny if you are getting your
leg over more often. Now, moving onto your cold shrew. She may be drinking too much coffee,
 this makes everyone stress out! Try to buy some decaffeinated coffee and sneak it into
her real coffee without her knowing. Also, massage her feet every night, each foot 10
minutes or more. Then her legs and back, this should make her want sex, maybe even ask
you for it. Candlelit massage and a glass of red wine and some cow-tongue oral sex should
bring on the taming of the shrew.

Happy Holidays,

Love Dr. Dot

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot (the Bitch is back)


Q.
I can not sleep with another person. I don't mean sexually, I mean literally. I can not
sleep next to another person (just my cat) This has offended many women. Can this be corrected?
Lester the Loner

 

A.
Funny you mention that, as I have the same problem. I can't even sleep in the same room
as another person. You are not alone. In fact, I think it stems from being a light sleeper
and/or fear of intimacy. Face it, when you sleep next to someone, it becomes a habit. It
can make you dependent on that person when you equate them with sleep. For me it is more
intimate than sex. It could also be just not wanting to hear another person scratching,
tossing and tossing off, farting and snoring all through the night. There is nothing wrong
with you. Just explain to them sleep is a very personal thing for you, and since your mind
is so busy working on saving the world, it is hard for you to turn it off and any distraction
at all will disrupt your badly needed rest. If you are shagging your partner properly, they
shouldn't mind where, when or how you sleep, as they will be too tired to give a shit.

Q.
I hate to use condoms, my cock goes limp when I put one on. I prefer to pull out right before I
cum, by how can I convince my new girlfriend to waiver the condom rule?
Raincoat dodger


 

A.
It is not her fault if you can't stay hard enough for a condom, so it's ignorant and rude to try to
make her screw you without one so you can get your rocks off. If she prefers safe sex, respect her for
that. Now about that pull out myth….
Pre-cum, which is that clear liquid that seeps out of your dick during foreplay and intercourse
has loads of sperm in it too. There is a high chance of some sperm left in the urethra mixing with
the new precum Even before you cum which can get her pregnant. You are playing with
fire if you screw without a condom on. An expensive, dangerous fire. Only if you are in a monogamous
Relationship for a long time, where you both had time to be tested for nasty diseases, you
trust each other, AND if she is taking birth control, should you have sex without one. This "pulling
out" method is a good idea, but is about as dependable as a wet paper bag.

Q.
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year now and the sex was great, and
now the past 2 months my boyfriend cums in about 3 min. He used to be able to
last awhile. Why does he get off so fast?
Ms. Loveme  Longtime

 

A.
He is getting lazy and selfish.
Time to rock the boat. Make him lick you until you cum, and then he can enjoy his
3 minutes. Tell him you are getting bored with the quickies. Men like a girl who
can speak up and says what she wants, especially in bed.

< comfort zone

Q.
I am facing a dilemma I have no clue how to handle, and it’s getting
quite frustrating. This is what's going on:
I am completely in love with my girlfriend. Though we have only been together
for a year, we spend every day together, and I would love to do so for the rest
of my life. I am in no way unsure of my emotional feelings toward her, but I
have another problem.
I don't know why, but I have always been very interested in sodomy. I don't know
why, it's not a conscious decision.
She has given me head a few times, though she has only done it until I came on
two separate occasions. One time she swallowed, and the other time she didn't. I
know how other people's sex lives are often void of oral, so I don't see myself
as incredibly unfortunate, but there's one thing that tips the scales, and that
is that I frequently go down on her. It'll usually happen about 3-4 times a
week, if not more, and it’s not very rare for twice in a day.
Don't get me wrong, I love doing it, and I am very good at it, as she comes
every time. But I feel like our sex life is very one sided. I've tried talking
to her about it, but all I get are answers like, "I just don't feel like it" or
"Do we have to do it all the time for our sex life to be good?" (I don't
understand how that last one even applies though, because she's getting some
practically every night.) I don't know how to stress this point well enough to
her, without seeming like a sex hungry jerk. I also suffer from the fact that I
was in a different relationship about two years ago, and that girl gave me head
all the time, (almost nightly) and we did anal once. (That's when I got my thing
for it.)
I guess my question is what makes you enjoy giving head? I love giving her head,
and I've asked her once, maybe twice, if she liked doing so to me, and all I get
is an "I don't mind." I feel very unsatisfied, and seeing as I please her with
my tongue on an almost nightly basis, I feel she should do the same.
I do not want a "Doing it because I have to" blowing though. That sounds
horrible.
Hungry for Head


A.
First of all, stop eating her out. When she asks why you stopped, tell her "I
don't feel like it" or "do I have to in order for our sex life to be good?"
She should get the fucking message loud and clear. She is selfish and spoiled by
your eager mouth.
I really think you want anal sex because it reminds you so much of your ex who
satisfied your oral cravings, like a good girlfriend should.
Look what happened to Bill Clinton when he wasn't getting head from Hilary. Stop
giving and you will start receiving.
It is clear you are more into her, then she is into you. She is obviously into
sex, as she lets you lick her clean every night, so it just boils down to her
being selfish and just not into your cock like she should be.

ps. Maybe you and "Loveme Longtime" should get together 

Q.

If a girl swallows for you does it mean something? I mean
do women swallow on one nighters? What does it signify?

Delighted but scared

A.
It means you hit the Jack Pot. Some may scoff and label such a willing
creature to be too promiscuous; down right slutty. Then again, it takes
two to tango; two to be naughty enough to give it up on the first “date”.
 When a woman swallows you, it means she accepts you completely;
she REALLY likes you. She’s a keeper 😉
 


Feel free to send me your questions. I never use a person's real name, so fire away:

drdot@drdot.com 

x

Dr. Dot