Napoleon Murphy Brock and the Grande Mothers tour (Frank Zappa alumni :)


31 OCT. LE TRABENDO PARIS Porte de Pantin
2 NOV.  DE BEES BAR Winsford, Cheshire
 3 NOV. The Deaf Institute, Manchester

Ask Dr. Dot Sept. 2010

Please feel free to email me  with any questions you have, I always change the names around, so you're secrets are safe with me 😉 






I found out the man I've been with for three years has been having a very intimate correspondence with a woman. Not sexually but emotionally. He knows I can open his email as we sometimes shared it for work. He deletes some mails but forgets to delete others. I know it's invasive but I just couldn't stop.
We live apart as he "loves his space". He is 36 and I am 45 but I look young for my age and he looks old for his age.
I'm very dependent on him, not only emotionally – my 16 year old son sees him as the male authority, we spend vacations all together, etc.
He's never seen this woman, only talks to her on the phone sometimes as I learned from his mails. 
I don't blame the woman as he made her believe he's single. She's married but obviously looking for changes in her life. I knew he liked to be surrounded by women – both virtually and in reality so I thought she was just one of his fan club but this is different. He's talking to her practically in the same way he talks to me.
I'm trying to ignore this and not tell him anything but it's torture. He sees something is wrong with me. He treats me so nice, we see each other almost daily and have sex only once a week ( I want it more!).
What's worse we've long planned to spend Christmas holidays with my son and his mother in the country where she lives. The woman lives in the same country.
Now my boyfriend tells me he wants to stay there longer to spend more time with his mother after we leave. What should I do? Cancel the trip altogether?
 But my son wants to go and I have my own friends there that I wanted to see. Keep ignoring this and let him do whatever he wants to do? But I'm very emotional and I know I won't be able to feign indifference for a long time. it makes me really sick, I can't concentrate on anything and I know it damages my ties with my son and other people and even my work performance.


Cynthia the Couga




The more you try to prevent this meeting from happening, the more exciting and important it will become for him. If you email her and tell her he is 'taken',  you will loose him for good as he clearly likes and demands his freedom. If you confess that you have been following this affair per email, he will see you as a nosy, sneaky, jealous and clingy ball and chain. You two are not engaged, not married or even living together so neither of you can demand monogamy. Would you REALLY want to prevent him from doing something he really wants to do? You would then start to wonder if he is only with you because you intercepted and what would stop him from finding another female fan in the future? Don't mess with fate. If it is meant to be, it is meant to be. Like the boss says, everybody has a hungry heart. He may just be bored. You say he treats you and your son very well and takes care of you and even fucks your properly once a week. You can NOT expect more from a person.

 You can't chain them physically down and put blinders on them ensuring they are focused only on you and why would one want that? 
Just remain calm, stay busy, work out, stay sexy and easy going, get ready for your trip and see how it unfolds. Either way you win. He will either find her boring in
person or irresistible and this would then set you free from the  constant wondering and feeling of being 2ND in line. You can't change this situation, you can only change how you handle it. Perhaps SHE will find out he is taken and flip out making him appreciate you even more. Let him play his little game, you need to stay busy and enjoy your life, we only get one, this is not a dress rehearsal. 


 I just starting seeing this amazing girl and we have great sex often, she is amazingly beautiful but a little insecure in bed not helped by the fact shitty ex bf told her she was a wank jump. I am really into giving her orgasms whenever possible but basically the head job discussion is completely OFF LIMITS. She has advised it's strictly Christmas or birthdays, but has made it clear she's just not into it. I've tried the denial method but fuck that, I love eating vagina. Part of me thinks who cares I'm with someone who likes me but I think maybe the denial is making me want it more. She is young (21) and I'm 34 which is fine, but she had a tough time in her teenage years.

Oral Otis




You have "great sex often" with a  girl who is more than ten years younger than you? Please count your blessings and stop whining. Eventually she will come around and let you lick her pussy on a more regular basis. She is 21,  which is when most women are merely starting to figure out what they like and dislike in bed AND you just started seeing her, so please chill and be more patient. Ask her if she would try 69 with you, that way her pussy isn't the only focal point. If she still frowns upon it, oh well, you are still getting what most men crave; regular great sex with a younger woman. If you give up and leave her, the next girl may hate GIVING oral, then you will really be fucked!





 I am a Premature ejaculator. I doubt I am the only one with this problem, but I suffer from this greatly. My last girlfriend cheated on me and when I confronted her she said "I had to fuck someone else, you don't satisfy me" since then, I haven't stated another relationship as I am feeling unworthy of any pussy. My penis is rather large, but I can't hold out for more than 2 minutes. Any advice you have for me would be a gift for me.

Quick Nick





There are some tricks you can try (1) Wank off hours before you see your girl (2) Always use a condom so it doesn't feel so overwhelmingly amazing (3) Fuck standing up (ejaculation will take longer as your brain is slightly preoccupied keeping you standing & less blood will be in your cock; some has to be in the legs to keep you up and moving  (4) Make her cum BEFORE you even start fucking her so she has less to complain about if you finish quickly once you're in there (5) Date a woman who could care less about sex (I KNOW there are many out there, I hear about them everyday from their frustrated partners).



Relatives keep giving winding me up about being a 36 year old single woman. I really can't take all of this nagging anymore. They harp on me every chance they get. The "I just haven't met Mr. Right" expression isn't helping anymore. Am I the only one who just doesn't care if I am dating or not? I have a cat so I am never lonely.
Sick of it All Sally


At the next family gathering as soon as someone goes there, in a very loud pitch say "I am single because I refuse to take it up the ass, which is a deal breaker nowadays." See how that grabs them.

 I love my wife of 18 yrs; everything used to be OK. I had a drinking problem, and I rarely got sex even though I wanted it.  I tried EVERYTHING to turn her on.
She's the receiver; never makes any effort to instigate or give sexual pleasure. I quit drinking a year ago and realized how controlling she is. We would be at a party, I would say “I'm going to go talk to whoever” & she would grab my shirt and tell me "NO, stay here, have a drink" Family members would put me down, yet she never said anything, etc.  She yells at me for no reason/snapping. I told her it gives me chest pain, yet she continues.
I let her control the bills; she has ruined my credit!
All this was OK till I started standing up for myself. We Almost divorced 3 times this year, but avoided it by me giving in and trying "once more".  Each time we reconciled she would give me all the sex I wanted (for awhile). Then started snapping at me again. I really cant afford to leave her, I don't make enough to live by myself and I love her but I WANT sex, BTW, she Loves me eating her out, but wont give me head where I get to come in her mouth, I told her I really want that- ( not happening ) when we do have sex shes never into it, she just tells me to " hurry" I feel I'm missing out on a lot. I don't know what to do. She says she Loves me more than anything- hhhmmmm

Suffocated Steve


In my opinion, if she "loves you more than anything" she would let you cum in her mouth, stop bitching at you and smack the shit out of people who put you down. She is probably so used to you being drunk and apathetic that she doesn't really know the real you anymore and can't understand why you can't be ordered around anymore. If you are going to stay with her, you need to write her a letter so you can get your real thoughts out on paper without her having the chance to interrupt or snap at you while doing so. Tell her you are sorry for being drunk for so many years, but you are back and it is time for you to make up for loss time and take charge of your bills, household, spunk and life in general. She can either relax and enjoy the new your or move the fuck on and spend some other wimps money. Words don't mean anything. Anyone can SAY "I love you" but their actions reveal the truth of the matter. I would personally rather be broke than live with someone who sucks in bed, spends all my money and nags at me. If you do leave her, avoid getting married again, the same fucking thing will happen all over again. Like Chris Rock says "if you like fucking, don't get married".


Baltimore statue will honor Frank Zappa


Baltimore statue will honor Frank Zappa A bust of legendary musician and Baltimore native Frank Zappa will officially be dedicated Sept. 18, The Baltimore Sun reports. Members of Zappa's family are expected to attend the ceremony, which will take place at Eastern Avenue and South Conkling Street in Highlandtown, where the bust will be erected.


The location outside the Southeast Anchor Library was chosen in part because Zappa was a staunch advocate for free speech. The bust, which will sit atop a tall column, is a gift to the city from a Zappa fan club in Lithuania, and is being readied for shipment to the United States.

Ask Dr. Dot Feb. 2010

 Feel free to email me your questions. Don't be shy, I ALWAYS change senders name to keep their dirty little secrets private:





I’m four months pregnant, happy and healthy. Thing is, I have trouble getting & staying wet
before and during sex. I’ve tried lubes and they help but they’re so greasy and it turns my
 boyfriend off when I apply lube. He thinks he does not arouse me because I’m not getting
wet like I used to. I am turned on but maybe pregnancy makes me dry. He always gives me
 oral before we have sex to get me wet but I always get dry before we finish. It’s frustrating me.
Please let me know of any products that aren’t greasy, yet safe or if you know of any techniques to help us.
Knocked up & Frisky



Perhaps your subconscious is drying out your snatch; a little voice in the back of your head
suggesting that having sex while pregnant is bad. Find that little voice and gag it. A lot of
women get extra horny while pregnant; the combo of having bigger breasts, extra hormones and
not having to worry about getting pregnant usually sets them on fire. If you are having problems
already at 4 months, it may get worse so you need to make it clear, verbally, to your BF that he does turn you on and you need his cock or you'll go crazy. Get some “K-Y natural feeling liquid personal lubricant" and after he do his best orally, and you start to dry up, have him playfully drizzle some lube on your pussy; make it fun, tell him "pour some lube on my thirsty twat babe". Rather than trying to ignore the situation, bring it right out into the open and make it fun. Give him plenty of head to keep him happy and everything should be fine.

I am 23 years old and have been dating an 18-year-old girl for a few months. I popped her
cherry the first month we were together and since then she has gone from clingy, to
psycho. I used to call her and court her, but now she doesn't give me the chance. She
is all over me like a rash to the point where I want out. When I try to pull away, she throws
a massive fit and threatens to kill herself. She cries, pulls her hair out and even cuts herself.
If I leave and she does kill herself, I will have to live with that guilt forever. If I stay, I am
suffocated in every way. She makes me feel obligated to stay with her forever because I
took her virginity.
Poppa Cherry




This emotional blackmail has got to stop. Find
a way to contact her parents/best friend/relative that she admires
and listens to most and arrange a private meeting. Explain the situation
and tell them she needs help and you need an exit. Write her a letter and
tell her you care about her but want to be single to concentrate on your life,
as most 23 year olds (and 18 year olds!) do. If you feel that isn't strong enough,
tell her you have doubts about your sexuality and have met a guy that you have
feelings for. Telling her you are gay is an easy way out. You can't argue with
that. Then stop all contact with her as any form of communication with just lead her
on and prolong the agony for both of you. Lesson learned, popping cherries is fun,
but seldom worth the drama that usually comes with it.





I meet (and bed) women easily but I've been having trouble getting
off with them lately. I concentrate so hard on pleasing them that I end up having
to finish myself off.  Now, I don't mind it if I'm getting the woman off but they seem to get frustrated that they can't bring me to cum, and eventually leave me. Help.

Rage against her Machine




Nice to hear you are putting out such efforts to please women. Try to avoid wanking
 24 hours before you jump in bed with a lady. A nice goal would be to get to know one girl so
well that you know how and when she will end up cuming, then try to climax together.
 Or make her cum, and then have her suck on you (or your favorite means) until you shoot your load.
If they just came, I don't see why they give a fuck how or when you get yours.
Tell her it turns you on to wank off onto her breasts or at worst, tell her you spent so much
energy making her cum you are too tired to cross the finish line. In the end, you will know it's the
 right girl when (1) you can still cum with her or after her (2) she doesn't fucking mind what you do, as long as she is with you.





I’m in a relationship, all is good. BUT, my girlfriend has been out of town for about 2 months and my ex girlfriend, who I chat with online periodically asked me over for tea. Well, I had a good meal and ended up getting rid of a nagging 2-month dry spell.  I really don’t have feelings for her in a relationship kind of sense, I was just sexually frustrated and my ex was in for the kill from the get go. I guess I just let the wrong “head,” think for me. In the morning we had another round. I’ve never cheated before and don’t intend on doing it again as I feel like a complete cunt. I doubt she would understand but oh the guilt. Should I tell her?

Randy Ralf



Do NOT confess your infidelity to your girlfriend. It may free you of guilty feelings but it will
crush her and ruin the relationship. Everyone makes mistakes. Hopefully it
was a safe-sex kind of mistake but if not, go have yourself checked out and use condoms
for a while with your girlfriend so you don't harm her (tell her you have an urinary tract infection).
Every one gets "super horny" and you aren't married, so you won't burn in hell, you will just have a guilty complex for a while which could in turn, make you more grateful for your girlfriends love which may even enhance your relationship. Twisted, I know, but you are not the first person to have a fling and you won't be the last. Just keep it to yourself no matter what as what one doesn't know, won't hurt them (at least mentally/emotionally).


Greetings from Mesa, Arizona

Out here for the Tour Link convention. Palm trees, orange trees, sun…. all good so far. HATED the flight- 5.5 hours, omfg. Could have flown to the UK in that time. I use twitter a lot now, much more than this blog, so if you want to follow me on twitter I am at:


Holding on for dear life in back seat of taxi

 Ronzilla ^ and Pooh

NY native and fellow karaoke FREAK, showed me and Rachel around Mesa and we ended up in a bar called the Tilted Kilt for karaoke. Hard putting up with drunks (local drunken men) when you are sober, ugh!

Local Mesa Dot Bot, Rachel ^ spoiling my feets after karaoke


View from my hotel room ^ (if you look closely you will see some orange trees)


Lazy cunt Pooh just lies around all day while I go out and bring home the bacon. Pffft. 


Orange trees EVERYWHERE here in AZ. Lovin' it so far…



… and Palm trees too. I can imagine it must be hotter than hell here in the summer though.


Mesa, Arizona Dot Bot April ^ massaging my aching feet :p

Doesn't she resemble a young Grace Slick ?


In the pilot seat of a 19 million dollar private jet at the Tour Link "Jet BBQ". I felt like a fish out of water there


Went out to karaoke with a few dot bots and local friends at Uncle Monkeys. REALLY STRANGE! I ordered a GLASS of club soda with a splash of cranberry juice, no ice, and this is the "glass" they brought me. lol. It is super cheap in AZ. And sunny. So I can see the attraction. Not much ambition going on, people seem to just wanna chill out there. To each his own you know?


 After karaoke at Denny's, 1:30 am ^ I was being interviewed by some guy, not sure what will become of it. Dot Bot Rachel was in on the action, I made some funny videos, will post asap. 



Dave Gahan is fantastic

So after two days of massaging Dave again, I am thinking he is for sure one of my favorite clients. Simon Cowell, Joe Jackson too. Dave is so mellow, low maintenance for sure a big star. Generous, polite, charming, fun. He is looking fitter than ever! I swear every time I see him he looks younger. He is in tip top form now in every way. Healthy as can be. Good to see that.

Dave was kind enough to put me and my friend on the guest list for Saturday nights Berlin show. Great seats and backstage passes. The show was incredible and I am not even a big Depeche Mode fan. I only know a few of their songs. I am a rock chick, no doubt about that. Beatles, Frank Zappa, Hendrix, Led Zepp, Ac/Dc, etc. BUT I did enjoy the show. The sound was fucking PERFECT and the band was tight. Lights and video were mad cool and Dave's dancing is so erotic on stage, I could tell the whole venue wanted to shag him. Seriously.

The crowd showed them so much love, they did NOT hold still one minute and knew every word to every song. VERY high energy. No wonder he is so fucking fit. 


I feel funny asking Dave for an autograph as we are buddies and he is my client and I am his therapist but this will look nice on my massage wall. He was mad cool about it, like no big deal. I adore him for that. This pic above was from last time, in June He was just getting over being ill in the pic above. I think you can tell he is much healthier now by the new picture below:

Sigur Ros was his choice of massage music again and I have to admit, they are growing on me now. 






I left early because I am swamped with work at the moment and not feeling well (Kidney/Urinary Tract infection) and I left my friend there, she said she was fine alone. BUT she left after the show and didn't even go backstage as she is shy. I thought, wow, so many people in there would have LOVED to go backstage but neither of us did lol.

I did not even take a camera into the show, I nabbed this just now from Youtube for your pleasure, and you know I like to give pleasure.



The last few years I have only massaged Dave, but I have massaged Martin before too, years ago in Berlin at the Waldbuhne:


I have seen him since, at the hotel always, and he is super polite and sweet- we shared an elevator in June. I have to say, he is fucking gorgeous in person. Schwing! He smelt so nice when I massaged him that time and I asked him what scent he was wearing and it was Amen, from Thiery Mugler. (Angel for Men). Smells sooooo delicious. I went out and bought Angel for women because of that day and I sometimes still wear it (I have a favorite perfume, not tellin' you though 🙂

I massaged Andrew too but can NOT find the picture right now, and it's bothering the shit out of me, ugh! I will find it, thing is, it isn't labeled on my computer so it will take hours, hours I don't have, to find it. sigh. I have to say, I am not a big fan of their music but to know THEM is to love them. Such wonderful guys. I only know (and love) "No Good" and "Enjoy the Silence" and then I like "Just can't get enough" and my friend played me "Personal Jesus" and I love that song but only knew the cover version from Marylin Manson. So kill me why don't ya?


Gotta run. Here are some old DM things I found today on my MAC



Their tour dates, hopefully coming to your area soon, see them if you can, they are on FIRE right now!!


Jan 9 2010            O2 Arena                             Berlin, Germany

Jan 11 2010         Budapest Sportarena                     Budapest, Hungary  
Jan 14 2010         O2 Arena                             Prague, Czech Republic 

Jan 17 2010         Stade Couvert Regional                 Lievin, France   
Jan 19 2010         Palais Omnisports de Paris-Bercy                             Paris, France

Jan 20 2010         Palais Omnisports de Paris- Bercy                             Paris, France
Jan 23 2010         Sportspaleis                       Antwerp, Belgium
Jan 25 2010        Arena                    Malmo, Sweden

Jan 26 2010        Scandinavium                    Gothenburg, Sweden

Jan 29 2010         Koengen                             Bergen, Norway

Jan 31 2010         Globe                    Stockholm, Sweden
Feb 2 2010           Hartwall Arena                  Helsinki, Finland 

Feb 4 2010           SKK Arena                           St. Petersburg, Russia

Feb 6 2010           Olympiiski                           Moscow, Russia
Feb 8 2010           Palace of Sports                                Kiev, Ukraine
Feb 10 2010        Lodz Arena                         Lodz, Poland   

Feb 11 2010        Lodz Arena                         Lodz, Poland      

Feb 14 2010        Arena                    Zagreb, Croatia  
Feb 17 2010        Royal Albert Hall                               London 
Feb 20 2010        The O2 – London                              London  

Feb 22 2010        Forum                   Horsens, Denmark

Feb 23 2010        Forum                   Horsens, Denmark

Feb 26 2010        ESPRIT Arena                     Dusseldorf, Germany 

Feb 27 2010        ESPRIT Arena                     Dusseldorf, Germany