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selling dolphin, porpoise and small whale products from Japan’s unregulated and unsustainable coastal hunts, as well as large whale products from its ‘scientific’ whaling. Two thirds of products purchased in Seiyu group stores contained levels of mercury, which were higher than levels recommended for human consumption in Japanese government’s health guidelines. Half exceeded the government guidelines for methylmercury concentration. Methylmercury is a potent neuro-toxin, which can cause irreversible damage to nervous systems. Due to widespread mislabeling of cetacean (whale, dolphin and porpoise) products and a lack of adequate government health warnings, most Japanese people are unaware of the risks involved in consuming whale and dolphin products. Best dam karaoke in CT and Joey Ramones B-Day BASH
Like last Sunday, I went to J.J Toon’s in South Windsor (still in CT) for karaoke. As always, Bill was the karaoke DJ and the sound was the best ever.
Even though I was supposed to go with my sister Shannon 
she stayed home and I went alone. This is no big deal for me, I go out most of the time alone anyway, but when you go to do karaoke, you are never really alone, the other karaoke freaks all hang together.
I have written about different karaoke places all over the place and kind of rate them, so I thought I would give my 2 cents about CT area karaoke in case you were heading this way.
A lot of things come into consideration when judging karaoke places, you have to consider the DJ, does he or she have an ego problem and want to sing all night long? Are they fair about letting people sing (or do they have favorites and make one wait for hours?). How is the sound? How does the crowd react? What size is the selection?
There are so many BAD places to do karaoke; it is easier just to mention the good places.
In CT whereever Bill is, you will have the best time and sound. He calls his company “Rising Star Entertainment” and if you email him, you can find out where he is workin’ it:
rstarbfee@sbcglobal.net or call 1-860-568-5814
Bill is the only DJ so far that has all but one song that I like to sing. He doesn’t have “Move Over” yet by Janis, but otherwise he has the biggest selection I have ever seen.
The two best places where he works are 1) Pastoris in Ellington ( can you say “Boon Dots?) it is in cow town but hey, if you are near Hartford, CT or Springfield, MA, it is not that far. He works there on Saturdays, there is a country vibe there, so save your AC/DC for late in the evening after everyone is cocked.
Then there is TOONS on Sunday nights. Tel: 860 289-5457 . Everyone there can see and hear the people singing and they do show love when you sing. There are regulars there that can sing their asses off. One guy is the singer of a country band called Radio Ranch. He is short and decked out in Cow Boy clothing 
and I mean big time. He must be around 65 years old or so, and is so adorable when he sings.He and his cowboy buddies do Elvis and Johnny Cash etc. One guy looks and sounds like the singer of Lynard Skynard.A guy named John does the best version of Unchained Melody that I have ever heard. Where the hell is American Idol when you need them?
Another good thing about karaoke in CT now is there is NO SMOKING in the bars anymore. Life is grand!
Other karaoke places in CT:
Cippino’s in Ellington on Thursdays: Don’t even waste your fucking time.No one cares that there is karaoke going on, the sound sucks and most go there just to play pool and seem annoyed that people are singing. The service BITES- they have one dumb blonde who didn’t even know what dry white wine was. Idiots. And to think, a few years ago the place was called “The Country Squire” and in 1984 when I was dating Joey Ramone ( oh yes I was waaay too young to be dating him) I convinced Joey to have the Ramones come and play there at the Country Squire. My whole High school ( Rockville High) came in disbelief. They were not let down, the Ramones did come ( 2 hours late thanks to CT cops searching their van for who the fuck knows what). Anyhow, you would think the place would at least be grateful ( I even had the Blushing Brides play there- a Stones tribute band) but no, they have forgotten and make you wait for an hour to get served, then fuck it up AND they turn the clocks 30 minutes ahead to make everyone get out a half hour earlier ( a typical CT bar trick). All of our watches/cell phones said 12:30 but the clock at the bar said 1am) WANKERS.
Ten East Main: This shit hole is in Avon.I went there Tuesday night ( remember, I got the $198.00 speeding ticket?) . Another case of don’t waste your time unless you live directly across the street and need a karaoke fix. Bill is the DJ here but he cannot rescue the atmosphere. They stick him in what appears to be a hallway that connects the bar to the billiard area. The snotty fucking college kids who all wore Tommy Hilfiger and GAP clothes seemed repulsed that people actually DO karaoke. Most probably got a fake ID to even get in. They would not have recognized any songs written after 1999 and just kept rolling their eyes at anyone who wasn’t wearing the standard college khaki colored mall type uniform.
Free Spirit:Vernon bar that has been going on since I was born.Kenny is the bar tender there, who used to run the Country Squire. He is a HUGE Ramones freak and it was he who begged me to have the Ramones come to Ellington. They have karaoke on Sundays but it is a weird crowd there. It has always been confusion in that place, no one knows what kind of vibe is going on there. Should you sing Shaggy?50 cent? Led Zepp? They usually play that super annoying techno-reggea shit, I mean the fast version of reggae. Is there a NAME for that shit? It sounds to me like Bob Marley on speed or something. Hate it. I love funk and some reggae, but that shit is horrible. This place was a hang out for coke heads years ago, but I don’t know if it is still like that.It is a dive, everyone knows it, but still goes there.
Colonial Inn:Vernon banquet hall- my senior prom was held there and they do all Rockville class reunions there. They have karaoke there on weekends and it is horrific. All of the polyester clad fat ladies come galloping in after they had their wedding reception or class reunion. Everyone sings in groups of 20 and it always SUCKS. Avoid this place at all cost. The DJ there at the time I went was Cadillac Jack. He likes to sing every 5th song, so the wait is pretty long. He has a good selection but there are too many technical difficulties every time. He has a following, but they are usually very fat girls who love his voice.
Shenanigans:EastWindsor- they have karaoke every Sunday night, crappy atmosphere, all the karaoke fans ( about 10 ) huddle at one table and keep their backs to the rest of the place which hates karaoke. Most go to play pool and eat, not sing. Sound is ok, but they have a different DJ every time I go.It is stiff there, no one has ever let loose.BORING.
The Skyline: Windsor Locks: I could WALK there from my Uncle Jacks, so I have been there a few times. It is FUCKING LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The sound system is the loudest I have ever heard, which means you have to SCREAM at the people you are with and by the time it is your turn to sing, you have no voice left! Bring a pad of paper and pens to write to your friends or a chalk board, you will need it! People hear do a LOT of show tunes and country songs, it is too loud, too light, too fucking annoying. DJ is nice and fair, good selection, but if you would tell him it is too loud, he would probably not let you sing.
Jimmy’s Pizza Palace:Enfiled- this is where I lost my karaoke virginity. My Uncles, Aunt and Cousins all made me get up there and sing.The crowd hated me when I walked in, I was wearing a black rubber ( looks like paten leather) dress ( no cleavage, but short) and had my hair up like Princess Leah. The girls (older,fat lumber-jack types) at the bar were whipping beer coasters at me from time to time so it was hard to get up and sing.I pulled off a mean version of Proud Mary and that was that. The DJ there is really friendly and makes wise cracks in between each song.He will make you feel welcome, but the crowd there is closed minded and mean. His sound is good, but selection isn’t the biggest I have seen.
Star Struck: Plainville- ( still CT) This is the most famous karaoke place in CT.They have a tiny room when you walk in to practice any song they have before you get up and do it on the HUGE stage. Which I think is great. BUT you will only get to sing once every 3hours of you are lucky. It is crowded and the DJ is a power/control freak and his extremely jealous girl friend is by his side the whole time hating every cute chick who puts a song in. I am not exaggerating. The couple play out their love drama all night. He makes comments over the mic about how hot that girl was or how sexy that version of Fever I just sang etc, and then there is hell to pay from his jealous bitch. It goes on and on and I can’t believe the owner doesn’t interfere. Two New Years Eve’s ago, I went there with my relatives and I waited 2 hours to sing. I put in “Piece of my heart” but when I got on stage, the jealous girl friend played Nelly’s “it’s gettin’hot in here”! I said, hey, that isn’t the song I requested” she said “Too bad, you are singing it!” and so I was up there in front of about 600 people trying to RAP and it sucked bad. They all danced anyways thanks to the alcohol, but it was the only song I got to sing and it was the worst. I can’t do Nelly ok?It is expensive as hell there and they make people kiss their asses to sing. Hate it. Uncle Jack just told me it closed down.It reopened under the name “Club 290″but no longer does karaoke. Glad to hear it, wankers! He said there is a place called “DE JA VOU” OPENED ON RTE 10 right down the road from the old Star Struck. Hope they have different DJ’s this time.
That is enough karaoke chit chat for now. Moving right along.
I will be working Wednesday at the Joey Ramone B-day Bash, check it out:
I have to go and lend a hand to Arturo and the lads. Gotta get movin’
Greetings from Windsor Locks CT
Dr.Dot
It’s human nature
“You don’t know what you’ve got ’till it’s gone”
How true. So many people writing to me about the same subject, Love. They all have one thing in common it seems. They all want the one they can’t have, the one that is apathetic and doesn’t pine for them. It may be fun and challenging, but I say, just take the one (be it a friend or lover) that adores you.
Why bother longing for a friend or romantic interest that doesn’t care about you? It is a test to your soul: 1) will you take the bullshit? 2) How long will you keep on giving without receiving? 3) Do you need pain to feel love?
I think it is best not to bother with a person that doesn’t want you, appreciate you or give to you like you do to them. Save yourself a LOT of hassle, just don’t take it.
Sure, it is human nature to strive for something that is hard to get, but you have to draw the line somewhere. In fact, I think the man should yearn to keep passion alive, just not in vain.
Ever have a friend that expects you to call him/her more than they call you? Who has time for that shit? It is the yin and yang; it has to be even no matter what the relationship. Sure when one is ill or down, the other should give more, but not long term. Avoid emotional vampires and you will be strong, get respect and love yourself like you should. (I don’t mean wanking either).
I still haven’t been able to download the new photos I have taken since I have been here in CT, but I can post a VERY embarrassing pair of photos that were just emailed to me from an old friend who used to work for the band the Inspiral Carpets. This band had me go-go dance for them on stage in Berlin a few times around the same time I was doing those Madonna impersonator shows
I figure the photos will come out someday anyways, so why not now? Can’t believe the ever-present gum in my mouth and tacky hair/make up. In the top photo I look obnoxious with the gum,hair,phone etc- slap me will you?
Yesterday they showed the Access Hollywood interview and I am sure Chris Botti is planning a drive by shooting on me right now. I cannot believe how our segment was edited; they didn’t even show his interview or name on the screen. This is exactly why it is hard to get a star to allow cameras to film them getting a rub down, because you never know when their bit ends up on the cutting room floor.
Chris was kind enough to let us film in his flat and say how great I massage and pose for photos etc, then they edit it all out? TV can be so cruel; they only showed me for 1 minute (which is better than nothing knowing how much a 1 minute commercial on NBC at prime time would cost). So I can’t complain, but I will complain on Chris’s behalf. That was dam mean of them to cut him out and now he is probably mad- or maybe he didn’t see it- that would be the best thing. I think he said he was off to vacation, hopefully somewhere where there is no TV.
(ABOVE:Chris Botti in his flat in March )
I did bring a famous photographer with me that loved photographing Chris in his all white flat (Rob Hahn) and I hope the photos appear in Rolling Stone or something.
Last run in with the cops was Friday afternoon; I was roller blading around the Bradley International Airport (International for them means to and from Canada from CT!!). Anyways, I love to speed skate around the airport every time I come here and a cop pulled me over and I said “Sorry, I can’t HEAR you!” due to my walkman blasting out Eminem. He insisted on yelling anyways, so I took off the headphones and asked him what is his beef. He said I was skating too fast and he should give me a ticket.
This happened to me before in South Beach, Miami, but why here? He said he would let me off but to slow down. What is going on here? How can you skate too fast? Or was he just trying to chat me up? He had one of those thin porn star mustaches, ew!
FYI, Lisa is back with the “unemployed, lying, pot smoking- handsome sponge”, as predicted. She in fact was upset at me for yelling at her sweetie, when it was her who asked me to drive there and tell him how mean he is to her. Never, I repeat, NEVER interfere with a drama queen and her loser lovers, you will end up the bad guy in the end, as for most chicks, Dick rules over friendship more often than you think.I know of so many females that ignore their gal pals the second they get a man in their lives. How very shallow, how weak. No matter whom I am dating or in love with, my girls come FIRST. Friends last forever, lovers come and go. You can give advice to people about a bad relationship or one that leaves them in tears too often, but you can’t make someone quit a bad habit, be it drugs, bad men, alcohol or even to diet, you just can’t. They have to do it themselves. Amen.
Everybody Plays The Fool
Main Ingredient
Everybody plays the fool sometime
There’s no exception to the rule
Listen, baby, it may be factual, may be cruel
I ain’t lyin’, everybody plays the fool
Falling in love is such an easy thing to do
And there’s no guarantee that the one you love
Is gonna love you
Oh-oh-oh, lovin’ eyes they cannot see
A certain person could never be
Love runs deeper than any ocean
You can cloud your mind with emotion
Everybody plays the fool, sometime
There’s no exception to the rule
Listen, baby, it may be factual, may be cruel
I want to tell ya
Everybody plays the fool
How can you help it when the music starts to play
And your ability to reason is swept away
Oh-oh-oh, heaven on earth is all you see
You’re out of touch with reality
And now you cry but when you do
Next time around someone cries for you
Everybody plays the fool, sometime
They use your heart like a tool
Listen, baby, they never tell you so in school
Dr. D
Getting to know the local Police
Basically I have been on a non-stop karaoke binge since last Friday. The CT girls left Friday night, I met Shannon Saturday night, the Sunday (Mothers day night) was a big blur of *smart food popcorn, cops and what Lisa calls a “sausage fest”.
First lets get familiar with the Vernon, CT terminology, according to Lisa that is:
1) Sausage Fest: When there are more men then women in a place (bar, club, party).
2) FYI : For your information ( sounds obvious, but people say it all day long around here)
3) Mad Mode: As in “He is in Mad Mode” very angry mood.
4) Pop corn situation: when one or more bags of extra large *smart food are being thrown around your car at once. (Usually MY CAR) *smart food is a brand of cheese-flavored popcorn
Sunday night at a place called “Toons” we went to karaoke. It was a sausage fest and the sound there couldn’t have been better. The owner, who looks EXACTLY like Eric Idle from Monty Python sang many Paul McCartney tunes (after hearing me do “Oh Darlin”) . Turns out he is a singer in a band and they do mostly Paul and the Beatles, so we went back and forth all night doing songs, it was heaven having him sing “Maybe I’m amazed”.
We rocked that place and I ended up bribing the DJ to stay until 1am ( he wanted to stop at 11pm!). When the place closed, the owner let Lisa and I hang for a while to hear my Beatles Anthology 2 cd (he had never heard it before) and he gave us drinks on the house. The police (who are VERY fucking bored in CT) were circling the place shining their lights into the bar to see what was going on after hours, so we all ducked down out of the way.
When the coast was clear, Lisa and I piled into my CLEAN (freshly detailed) VW Golf. Lisa was steamin’ drunk by now and insisted on calling her freshly disposed boy toy named Steve. Steve has been toying with her heart for several weeks, which always ends in her crying and me Steve bashing to her on the phone to get her strong again.
Steve is an unemployed 33-year-old LOSER, who has several sugar ma-mas all around town. Lisa and Steve have been friends for a few months and he openly told her about all of his sexual escapades, usually one new girl a week, never committing, always leaving them in tears, and ALWAYS having them pay for what ever he does and eats or drinks, basically a fairly handsome SPONGE. Handsome as far as Vernon, CT standards go, which means he wouldn’t stand a chance in any given city, but trust me folks, the pickin’s are slim here, they always have been!
Anyways, Steve has Lisa care for him in everyway all week long and then suddenly, he disappears every single weekend, finally dragging his tired from shagging all weekend ass over to her house Sunday nights to be nursed back to life again. Lisa decided that she is no longer falling for this shit and so she has been ignoring him and she has been in “mad mode” since his last disappearing act.
However, after a few “CC and Ginger” drinks (whatever the hell that is) she was feeling pretty vindictive and wanted to call him at 1:45am. I told her not to, but I had to drive and she did it anyways. Steve drops over to her condo at all hours of the day or night unannounced and is always welcomed with open arms (and milk cartons) but when she called HIM at 1:45 am, it was a different story. “Who the HELL do you think you are calling me at 1:45am!” I heard him yell (he came to her house at 3:30am on Friday night) so she gave them phone to me and I barked at him a bit and gave phone back to Lisa. We stopped at 7-11 ( a shop that is ALWAYS OPEN) and I bought two giant bags of Smart Food Popcorn. I handed the bags to Lisa and she put them on her lap.
She insisted we drive to his apartment (it’s called STALKING !) and I told her it is SO not a good idea, but she REALLY wanted to “just drive by”. She called him again and told him he must come out and he was all cranky and hesitant (read: he had a girl up in his love shack).Lisa was out of the car when she was on the phone and when she got back IN my car, she SAT violently onto the bags of Popcorn and the explosion was amazing.It was snowing popcorn in my formerly clean car.
Lisa told him he MUST come down because “we have a pop corn situation here”. I am sure the guy just came down out of pure curiosity as to what a fucking popcorn situation really looked like. He came out and all hell broke lose. Lisa got out and yelled, he yelled, then I got out and yelled, telling him Lisa is NOT one of his weekly skanks and the game is over, stop making her cry and using her for food and fun. Well, someone called the cops. He went back into his cave and a bag of popcorn was thrown into the back of his PURPLE pick up truck just for fun.
As we were pulling out, two police cars pulled up behind us, bright lights and all. The first cop, a young hottie flashed his BIG ol’ flashlight in my car and was wondering why the fuck it was covered in pop corn. We were trying our hardest not to laugh. I had told Lisa not to talk much as she was obviously drunk as a skunk. I told the hunk of an officer that Steve usually is the one showing up late at night making trouble and he has been putting poor Lisa through emotional turmoil. Then another cop walked up with the BIG flashlight and puzzled look on her face: “Lisa? Is that you?” . Apparently the female (definitely a dike) officer already knows Lisa on a first name basis. You know you are a drama queen when the cops know your first name 🙂
The friendly female loving cop adored us and totally understood when I told her that guy lives off of sugar ma-mas and is a big fat liar. The angry lesbian with a badge went up with the other cop to talk to Steve and when they came out, they simply handed us a “Domestic Violence Assistance” paper with many phone numbers on it in case someone gets violent I guess. The female cop gave us a knowing wink and told us to go free on our merry pop corn way.
That same night, Lisa’s friend Michael came over to calm Lisa down and then the phone rang and another friend needed us to go help get their keys out of the car, they locked their keys in a car that was running! So we all went (3:30am now) to help and nothing worked, so we called the police (must have been the same police) and they said no way are they coming out again to help us and to finally get our Asses home to bed. Luckily my skinny arm got up under the window and I could unlock it with a few minor bruises to show for it.
Monday night was kind of a rest night, we were at Felicia’s home spa trading massages and laughing up a storm. Then Tuesday night was more police trouble. I swear, CT is such a POLICE state; it is CRAWLING with cops (good looking cops by the way).
I was on my way to Avon, CT to go sing (yes, I am a karaoke addict) and I was given a map how to get there, ALL back roads. I love to drive fast and these back roads here are crowded with grandparents all out for a nice drive, driving SLOW as can be.
The speed limits change every few miles here, and I guess I didn’t notice that I was going too fast. As soon as I flew by the cop car, I knew I was dead meat.
Sure enough, I got pulled over. Huge amounts of blue, red and white lights flashing around. The road I was on has almost NO lights on it so we were definitely the big attraction for everyone who drove by.
The cop (again, young and good looking) asked me for my papers etc, and I asked him if I was going to fast. He laughed and said, “Uh, you were FLYING!” Apparently I was going 64 miles per hour in a 35-MPH zone. He said he would have taken me to jail if he wanted to, but since I was late for karaoke, he made an exception. 😉
I got a choice handed to me. I could come back to CT on May 24th and go to court and try to get the find reduced (which would probably NOT happen) or I could pay a $198.00 fine within 5 days and all would be forgotten.
SO, I paid the $198.00 today and now it is over with. Last year around this time, I got a $280.00 ticket for speeding and most of all, the horrible fuzzy dice “obstructing my view” (hanging from my mirror). I have only been in CT since late Saturday night and I have had 4 encounters with the police. I better not stay too long here!
Today my “Ask Dr.Dot”column appears in the Steppin’ Out magazine. It comes out every Wednesday all over NY and NJ. Click HERE to check it out.
Send any questions you have to me and perhaps I can get them in the magazine with a good answer for you.
Off to bed
Greetings from the wilderness of CT
Dr.Dot
Oh the Foot Slaves, what would we do without them?
Dearest Goddess Dot,
If you are ever in vancouver and require a footslave
to perform oral foot massage on your gorgeous feet,
pick me, as your slave for the day.
sincerely,
patrick 
CT Girls on the loose in NYC
I am in CT now, at my Uncle Jack and Tom’s house. My pit bull Frankie is so excited to see me, he won’t let me out of his sight now
Dr. Dot’s favorite places to eat in NYC (part 2)/Chris Botti is a Hottie
While trying to stop the war, one can work up one hell of an appetite, so I have been going out to eat a lot lately and decided to take notes and pass them onto you, check it out:
1) Gabriel’s Bar and Restaurant
11 West 60th street</street />( between Broadway and Columbus) tel: 212 956-4600
I went to Gabriel’s for the second time last week and was impressed for the second time. Gabriel’s is upper class, even though I got away with wearing sneakers. They boast they are the “winner of the wine spectator award of excellence” from 1997 to the present.
It is an Italian restaurant with gorgeous decor and atmosphere. I love the roasted head of garlic they serve and the salads, bread and chicken are delicious. Check it out:
http://www.gabrielsbarandrest.com/ 
The web site is so cool, you can take a virtual tour of the place, sniff it out you know, to see if it is up to bar for you and your date. Count on at least $100 for two, and dress nice.
2)Aureole 34 East 61st Street tel. 212 319 1660
One of the best meals, well, no, actually THE best meal I have ever had was last Saturday night. It was kind of a business meeting that turned out to be kick ass. A client and new found friend of mine, Amir 
invited me to what has got to be NYC’s most expensive restaurant. We had to wait at the bar for our table, so champagne was ordered. I am not much of a drinker, but could you say no to a $285 bottle of 1995 
Dom Perignon ? Didn’t think so. Even the bread sticks were gourmet! (note:above photo of Amir and I was taken later at a karaoke joint, you have to wear a tie at the restaurant).
Click HERE to see the web site.
I had the vegetarian menu, which was about $150. It came with 7 courses. They were all small but packed with so much flavor and so rich, they fill you up. The service was the best I have ever had and they give you a dessert tray of pralines and other fattening but mouth watering exotic chocolate crimes to keep you busy while the real dessert is being prepared.
If I would have known 7 meals were heading my way, I would have fasted for the whole week before. For the most expensive and gorgeous eating experience of your life, I HIGHLY recommend Aureole.
3) Mexican Radio – 19 Cleaveland place tel:212-343-0140
By FAR the best Mexican Restaurant I have been to. Their Guacamole rivals mine and that means it is DAM good. 
The service is a tad too friendly, the waitress starting going ON and ON about her life to the point where I was falling asleep into my black beans, BUT better too friendly then bitchy like Berliner waitresses I suppose. The food is so amazing; you will forget the clingy, over- friendly -for -the- tip waitress in no time.
Anyone will look gorgeous in the lighting, it is warm and flattering and the walls are colorful eye candy. They have a web site with full menus, click HERE to see it.
It is fairly priced and the margaritas are by far the best I have ever had. I don’t drink often, or much, but if I do, it will be for 1)great wine 2) $300 a bottle champagne 3) Mexican Radio’s margaritas! Yeah baby! If you tell the staff you are psychotic, hence, “handicapped” you can use the bathroom upstairs, other wise it is a hike down stairs to the can.
On my site www.drdot.com in the VIDEOS section, there is now a 4th video to view; it is the UK show I did back in October, demonstrating the bite method and all. By the way, if you come to me for massage and want the Bite Method, tell me BEFORE I cover you will oil, otherwise it won’t happen. I won’t bite an oily back, it would make me feel like I am nibbling on sardines and you KNOW I hate FISH!
Have you seen the latest issue of PEOPLE magazine? Well, I will massage Chris Botti; he is in the new issue of People, voted as one of the “50 Most Beautiful People”. You may recall me writing about him back in my blog in March. Click on his photo to get to his fabulous web site 
Anyways, I will massage him today (Friday) in front of TV cameras for the show NBC “Access Hollywood” . They are interviewing me about how important massage is for artists and will ask Chris how it feels and hopefully he will moan “awesome, she rocks!” or something similar. I promised Chris a few free massages for his kindness; not easy to get a star to let someone film their massage session! Yes, massaging such a babe is hard work, but someone has to do it.
Great thing about Chris is his sense of humor and taste in music. Yes, he is eye candy, but he is wicked fun to hang out with AND generous! I forgot to tell you, that time I massaged Sting in Atlantic City, Chris was back stage giving out chocolate covered fruit. Apparently a certain fan of his gives him this HUGE platter of top notch chocolate covered berries, pineapple, bananas etc, and it is too much for him bring on the plane, so he is so sweet, he was even going up to the security and roadies and offering them some of his delicious gift. I wolfed down most of it ( hee hee, just joking- I had a few strawberries).
My assistant Felicia (see my site to see her) and long time partner in crime Lisa ( remember her, I wrote about her last august when she ripped open her freakin THUMB- go to blog entries August 27 and 28th to see Lisa and perhaps there is a few photos of Felicia singing “I’ve got friends in low places” standing on a table at a CT karaoke club 🙂
Where was I? Oh yes, Felicia and Lisa will pick me up in a quasi “limo” around 3pm and we will all shoot over to Chris’s flat to film. If the NBC director wants to film Chris getting the 4 handed massage, Felicia will be on hand, if not, the girls will shop till they drop until I finish filming. Then we will all go to a few of the Tri Beca Film Festival parties I was invited to. The girls have never heard of the film fest, and if you haven’t and are curious, click HERE to check it out. Robert Deniro is the host of the festival this year, would love to run into him, he is one of my favorite actors.
I will let you know when the NBC /Access Hollywood thing will be aired and post cool photos of the shoot.
Before I go, I want to dedicate a song by my hero, Frank Zappa, called “When the lie’s so big” enjoy:
They got lies so big 
They don’t make a noise
They tell ’em so well
Like a secret disease
That makes you go numb
With a big ol’ lie
And a flag and a pie
And a mom and a bible
Most folks are just liable
To buy any line
Any place, any time
When the lie’s so big
And the fog gets so thick
And the facts disappear
The Republican Trick
Can be played out again
People, please tell me when
We’ll be rid of these men!
Just who do they really
Suppose that they are?
And how did they manage to travel as far
As they seem to have come?
Were we really that dumb?
People, wake up
Figure it out
Religious fanatics
Around and about
The Court House, The State House,
The Congress, The White House
Criminal saints
With a “Heavenly Mission” —
A nation enraptured
By pure superstition
When the lie’s so big
And the fog gets so thick
And the facts disappear
The Republican Trick
Can be played out again
People, please tell me when
We’ll be rid of these men! –
Frank Zappa
Dr. Dot
Throwing gasoline onto the fire
I read the German and British papers online everyday, just to see what their version of the news is, usually they have a more realistic version of what is going on.
In the US, no matter what TV channel you watch or what paper you read, you will NOT get the gory details of the War in Iraq, because if the media did that, no one would want to volunteer to go fight for their country.
If we are only shows tiny pieces of the truth, perhaps Bush will get re-elected (that is what the government hopes). I am totally against this war, HATE it that Bush is in the White House and think that if Americans see more of what is going on, they might get so sick to their stomachs, that they just might get off their asses and vote that war happy fucker out of the White House.
Above, see the British Soldier pissing on the Iraqi prisoner. Next, see Iraqi prisoners made to lie naked on top of each other while the American soldiers have a laugh. (*note: I am not feeling pity for Iraqi soldiers, I feel pity for anyone involved in a war)
Normally I wanted to write about the incredible restaurant I was invited to the other night and fill you in on what I have been up to, but seeing the news the last few days and reading the news online has made me almost cripple with grief. Yes, I am a hippie at heart, peace and love baby, and usually I don’t like to cram my political views down anyone’s throat, but something has got to change or this will be the next
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Peace
Dr. Dot
Puppy Love
Hey Dot,
Anyway, I have been trying to get the puppy, Leo, into a training program for the handicapped but no luck so far. This dog is way too special to go to the pound or just anyone. I love him like a baby. If youcould work it out so you some one you know could take him that’d be great.
We will be needing to go to Fla in mid June to close on the house so my fiancee sez he has to go by then. ; (
Hugs,
Shira
Hey people, Dot here, can you believe how fucking CUTE that puppy is ? It should be illegal to be that cute.
I already have 3 turtles and 2 dogs, all of which can not live in the flat I am right now, so I have to “stash” them at friends and relatives houses until I plant roots and get a big fat house.
I would take that puppy in a heart beat if my landlord wasn’t such a wimp ( can’t stand up to his mommy).
So if you adore the dog as much as I do and find space and time for him, let me know ASAP and I will arrange a doggie delivery!
“Pigs On The Wing (Part Two)”
You know that I care what happens to you
And I know that you care for me
So I don’t feel alone
Of the weight of the stone
Now that I’ve found somewhere safe
To bury my bone
And any fool knows a dog needs a home
Pink Floyd
“You gotta read this”
a magazine called “You gotta read this” did an interview with me, felt liberating:
DON LEMMON ASKS: First of all, what is a day in your life like? What do you do from waking to hitting the hay each day?
YOUR REPLY: I am a night owl ( not a party girl, just a night person) and I am usually on the computer until around 4 or 5 (AM!) each night. Then I sleep until around 1pm, get up , answer about 300 emails, I have to answer about 30 phone calls a day from all over the world ( which I hate!) I have a protein shake, jog and work out at home, eat something healthy and get ready to either go massage someone, get a massage ( my audition for new assistants) or run errands. On a night where I find time, I try to sneak in some karaoke in the city ( NYC).
DON LEMMON ASKS: What would you say is the highlight of your career so far and how does it compare to your overall career goal?
YOUR REPLY:Meeting Paul McCartney and touring with Frank Zappa was for me the highlights, as they are my heroes. Moderating the Berlin Film Festival in Germany was also a highlight, my overall career goals are so huge, I am aiming to take fitness, massage and humor and make a TV show that rivals Ophras, I have more ambition than you can imagine, I have only just begun kicking butt here in the states!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Who was the first person to tell you getting into this profession was a crazy idea? At what point did you agree (even if it was momentarily)?
YOUR REPLY: The manager of the Stones told me when I was 18 that no one would want to read such a book ( The diary of a rock and roll masseuse) and tried to make me ” focus” on other goals, but it only made me more determined. I once stopped massaging Rock stars for a few months in 1987 to study photography at UNH, but after a few months the Grateful Dead toured again and I couldn’t resist reviving my career all over again, I just can’t stop!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Have you made some contacts using the internet that you know you wouldn’t have made if it weren’t for the web?
YOUR REPLY: Of course! The Associate Press article was made possible by the internet, every one finds me, including you Don, via internet, I could NOT live with out it. My web site gets over 1 million visitors per month, so I rely on the net!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Funny how it usually works. We grow up wanting to be firefighters or nurses, then due to the glory of media, rock stars, actors, or millionaires and then reality sits in. What’s your story? How did you get into what you do?
YOUR REPLY: I was raised by very young hippie parents. They only listened to Rock, smoked grass, and all that hippie crap. The had me walking on their backs at age 4 and 5 already, and then I would massage my parents, especially my mom. So massage and music is what I was raised on. My parents constantly brought me to rock concerts and by the time I was 14, I was going on my own with friends. I wanted to meet my “heroes” and tried. It was not easy to do that after the shows. I then came up with the idea to go to the concert halls in the day time, before security was tight and offer massage to get in for free. I was 15 years old and massaged Def Leppard in Hampton VA, that is when it clicked that my massage talent could bring me closer to the stars and get me in to see music for free. It is, needless to say, snowballed into an amazing career for me, but it wasn’t an easy task!
DON LEMMON ASKS: What would your dream project be?
YOUR REPLY:I have many! I want to do a movie, I have written a screen play, it super funny, but I can not give details. I want to have my own weekly show ( daily is to much) I want to have a chain of massage/spas all over the world, bring out my own line of Massage oils, tables, and “how to massage” DVDs, plus publish all 4 of my books,so you see, I haven’t just “one” dream project.
DON LEMMON ASKS: Tell me one of the negatives aspects of your field. Do not say there are none!
YOUR REPLY: People give me shit all the time, assuming I shag the stars because I look sexy in some of my photos; other massage therapist who are madly jealous over my success write me hate mail, sometimes the stars don’t want to pay, they try to put that part off, everyone wants something for free. Most ALL articles written about me have at least 3 wrong quotes and facts in them! But the press won’t let you proof read their story before it goes to print, that’s why folks, don’t ever believe everything you read!
DON LEMMON ASKS: What are your 5 favorite websites?
YOUR REPLY: Discovery Channel ( Animal Planet), David Letterman, www.drdot.com, Frank Zappa.com, Beatles.com, www.catch.com, I am not much into surfing, I am always writing my blog everyday and have no time to surf! I use www.ask.com constantly!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Tell me something people do not realize about you, maybe it’s not a secret, maybe it’s not anything special, but it could be something no one else has ever asked you about until now.
YOUR REPLY:I am an extreme animal activist, I donate to so many funds and watch Animal Precinct every night. I HATE cigarettes beyond belief and I don’t drink, I am a health not, everyone thinks that because I hang out with rock stars, I must party, but I don’t!
DON LEMMON ASKS: What’s the craziest thing you have experienced in the industry? Maybe it’s something you witnessed and didn’t participate in that would shock us, make us laugh or show us another side to things besides the obvious.
YOUR REPLY: Charlie Watts of the Stones actually sketches his unmade bed in every single hotel he has slept in since the last 30 years, I get to see such things, which makes my job special. I got to see KISS do their own face make up before a few shows, I got to BURP into Frank Zappa’s sampler on the 1988 tour and he used my burp throughout the tour to make fun of the TV evangelists, so now you can hear my burp on his CD called ” the best band you’ve never heard in your life”. I have seen over 20 years of strange shit going on back stage, it would never fit in this interview, that is why I wrote the book ” Butt Naked and Backstage” which isn’t out yet here.
DON LEMMON ASKS: Anything embarrassing happen when YOU were trying to look cool? What?
YOUR REPLY: I fell down while massaging Bruce Willis for the first time. He had the room so freakin dark, I forgot I put a stool near the head area of the massage table. I did one arm and while moving quickly around to do the other arm, I flipped over that stool, almost like a cartwheel! I landed on my butt and Bruce was like ” Dot, where are you? ” After that night, he always called me Ms. Bean ( as in Mr. Bean is clumsy too).
DON LEMMON ASKS: The biggest lie about your industry ever is:
YOUR REPLY: That I fuck stars!
DON LEMMON ASKS: The biggest PLUS FACTOR about your industry is:
YOUR REPLY: I am my own boss, I constantly get free advertising thanks to the press interest in me, so my biz keeps growing like crazy. I have seen over 3,000 concerts for free ( that was my original plan!) and I get to see every star I massage naked, the full monty! AND, I get the best stories out of them, because, when they are naked, they never shut up!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Have the people around you changed since you’ve gotten recognition for your work? Sometimes those who weren’t so supportive in the beginning, suddenly became supportive or possibly vice versa; they became less supportive. Do fans freak you out?
YOUR REPLY: oh, you mean, to people kiss my ass now? Yes, in Germany I am a star and I noticed this brown nosing effect already long ago. I get on the VIP guest list to every party, get into every club for free, get free food etc, I don’t take it seriously at all, I still have my old friends and do not let any of that shit go to my head, I have been around it since I am 15, I have seen every angle of it, even how people kiss the stars butts all the time, in fact, that is why the stars love me so much, i DO NOT brown nose! Fans don’t freak me out, I am polite and cool to them and they relax around me, fans only freak out if you treat them like a fan!
DON LEMMON ASKS: What is your most frequently asked question and/or what question makes you crazy whenever asked but you somehow remain composed enough to answer?
YOUR REPLY: “Who is your favorite star?” or ” Can you get Mick or Sting to let us video tape you massaging him?” ( TV stations ask that every time, as if Mick would just allow cameras to tape me massaging him! For FREE no less!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Who do you see in the media, on TV or hear on the radio that just makes you wonder how in the hell they got there or who in the hell does this person know?
YOUR REPLY: Lil’ Kim is so nasty to look at, she has had more plastic surgery and has fake hair, eye color, boobs, teeth, lipo and her clothes simply scream “CRACK WHORE”. I can not even look at her without feeling ill. I also find Ben Affleck totally BORING, what was J.Lo even thinking?
DON LEMMON ASKS: Tell me a joke!
YOUR REPLY: THIS IS EVE’S VERSION
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
So, how is everything going?” inquired God.
“It is all so beautiful, God” she replied. “The sunrises and
sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful.
But I have just this one problem. It’s these three breasts that you have
given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly
knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on
bushes. They’re a real pain,” reported Eve. Eve went on to tell God that
many other parts of her body such as her limbs, eyes, and ears ! came in
pairs, and she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more
symmetrically
balanced, as she put it.
“That is a fair point,” replied God. “This is my first shot at
this, you know.I gave the animals six breast, so I figured that you needed
only half of those,but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right
away.”
God reached down, removed the middle breast, and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed, and God once again visited Eve in the Garden.
” Well, Eve, how is my ! favorite creation now?”
“Just fantastic,” she replied, “but for one oversight on your
part.
You see, all the animals are paired off. The Ewe has a Ram and the Cow has
her Bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.”
God thought for a moment and said, “You know, Eve you are right.
How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will
immediately create a man from a part of you……now let me see….
” WHERE DID I PUT THAT USELESS BOOB?”
NOW, DOESN’T THAT MAKE MORE SENSE THAN THAT BUSINESS ABOUT THE RIB?
(well, you asked for a joke!)
DON LEMMON ASKS: What is your favorite music album and what music group do you listen to most often?
YOUR REPLY: Joe’s Garage and anything by Frank Zappa, then ” Abbey Road” and ANYTHING by the Beatles. I also like Led Zepp,old Pink Floyd, and Janis Joplin, Hendrix, Moody Blues, and sometimes I like funk, I love Prince and Outkast.
DON LEMMON ASKS: Who should hang up their hat in this business? Why?
YOUR REPLY: Michael Douglas, because I find him dull and annoying AND I hate the fact that no matter how friggin old he gets, he always plays the boyfriend or husband of some pretty young thing, even in real life- EW!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Tell me your favorite movie genre, name a few titles, and the video or dvd you have watched the most:
YOUR REPLY: I like romantic comedies and just plain comedy in general. Guy Ritchie films:Snatch, Lock Stock and even Swept Away!I love Ben Still and Adam Sandler. Forrest Gump is amazing, I have watched it at least 20 times. I also love Austin Powers, and LOVE Sex and the City ( I know it is not a movie, but I LOVE every episode).
DON LEMMON ASKS: What is the TV show do you miss from childhood… I used to love Land of the Giants and Dance Fever (kidding)….
YOUR REPLY:Happy Days, Sesame Street, Fat Albert!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Ever had someone from school or an odd job back in the day try and track you down after realizing what you do for a living now?
YOUR REPLY: Oh, every day. Everyone I have ever met seems to find me now online. I have gone to 15 different schools in 12 years of school, from TN, to GA, to ME, to NH, RI, CT, VA etc etc, and they ALL find me now and want to chat. Almost every boy I have ever kissed too!
DON LEMMON ASKS: If you were anyone else besides yourself, who would you be (even for just a day, on a good day) and did you emulate them growing up?
YOUR REPLY:Paul McCartney or Ellen Degeneres, I didn’t know of Ellen when I was growing up, but I like her style and humor. Paul has moved the whole word with his lyrics and he is a true man, an animal activist, I love him.
DON LEMMON ASKS: Who is the most intriguing person in your business today besides yourself? Why?
YOUR REPLY: I think Drew Barrymore and Angelina Jole, both are gorgeous, rich, famous, but caring and fun, not slutty or dumb, like most females in the biz. I adore their strength and inner beauty.
DON LEMMON ASKS: What did we forget?
YOUR REPLY: My web sites www.drdot.com and www.puredrdot.com 
Don Lemmon
www.donlemmon.com