Preparing for a Tonsillectomy

Day 8 after surgery and it still feels like I gargled razor blades and drank lemon juice and tobasco sauce directly after.  Catherine went home 3 days ago, then I had Danny (anal ring toss) stay with me for 2 days in case I needed help. Danny and I raise too much hell; we laugh too much, so I asked him to leave me alone to suffer again. Which make me think of a list of things to warn people who are preparing to get a tonsillectomy. A check list for them; things I have learned that could maybe make things easier for someone else. 

1) Go shopping before and get baby food but NOT applesauce, as it has citric acid and burns like hell. Plums went down the best. Get soft bread, chicken soup and baby wipes. Baby wipes are helpful the first week as we are not supposed to shower, so they are good for wiping the offensive areas. Get vitamin water (I am guessing they only have those in the USA) and "Power-c" is the best one as the others have too much citric acid. You need to drink more than just water to keep up your electrolytes. Get a min chalk board or scetch pad to write on so you don't have to speak the first few days at ALL. But some Cloreseptic Throat Spray as it's s good to numb the pain, but only after like 5 days, as the first few days it's too sensitive for such a spray. Get anti-nausea tablets ahead of time, as your Doctor could be a slacker like mine and not write you a prescription. These pills help when you can't eat but need pain pills. Trust me. 

2) Avoid ice cream that is dairy based the first 3 days as it clings to the wounds and makes  a mucus and it's already difficult to sleep as it is. Pear sorbet is good as the others (strawberry or orange ) burn like HELL.

3) Tell everyone you know that you are having the operation and ask them NOT to call you for a week as speaking hurts. The dumbest thing in the world is CALLING a tonsillectomy patient after their operation. They can't speak as it hurts like HELL!!!!!!!!!! Have people text your or email you and get back to them when and if you feel like it. 

4) Find a serious friend to look after you, post OP. We all have goofy friends and serious friends. Choose the serious one to look after you as they will understand that laughing and talking is not an option and will have their head on straight and hopefully be dependable for you, like Catherine was for me.

5) After a few days, gut a piece of bread (discard crust to the birdies) and zap some chicken soup broth (mushed carrots that come in chicken soup are great too) in the microwave for 20 seconds and take it out and tear up the soft bread and let it absorb the soup. Once it is completely cooled, slowly chew it and swallow. This was the best meal I had so far since this whole thing started. It is hard to slowly chew as I am so fucking hungry my body wants to wolf it down, sigh. That reminds me, I lost 10 pounds already but am starting to feel soft in the middle, like my Pooh bear. I can't work out so I'm getting soft. ugh! Which brings me to number 6..

6) Work out as much as possible before the operation as you can't exercise for WEEKS after. Eat really healthy (well, always anyways) the last few days before the OP as you won't be eating well for ages. 

7)  Gargle with salt water every couple of hours after the surgery to help my throat heal faster, and it seemed to work real well. Just take plain old table salt, preferably the iodiized kind, mix it with warm water, and gargle with it for at least a minute every couple of hours, or as often as you possibly can. It tastes like shit, but it really does help your throat heal up faster. And be sure to drink as much water as you possibly can so that you keep yourself hydrated

8) Those Slim Fast shakes or any protein shake that you like help after a few days, as they keep you loaded with vitamins and liquid and taste great.  Like drinking a meal.

 9)Shower right before you check into the Hospital. You won't be able to wash for a few days.

10) Honey dew and  Cantaloupe melons seem to go down just fine (at day 7). I am sure they would go down earlier too. It is hard to get enough vitamin C during this whole ordeal, so this is the fruit I found to be the easiest to eat


Well, that's all for now, but when/if I think of something else,  I will slide it on in here asap.




< Schwing!