Q.
I had been obese all my life and I had designed all my life around my obesity. Always reading, not going out, working at my local parish. One day I decided I wanted to lose weight; I became conscious of what I ate and the pounds just started to melt away! I hadn’t realized my accomplishment until my own mother didn’t recognize me and walked right by me at the supermarket! Suffice to say I lost all my friends because they said everyone looked at me now, leaving nothing for them! I was heartbroken until my parents urged me to stop crying over people who were so blatantly jealous of me and that I should go out and live the life I had never lived with their blessings. And then my father added: "You don’t only look normal now; you look gorgeous! Why didn’t you do this earlier?"
All my life I dreamed to be able to see my favorite band live on stage and then maybe try my luck backstage but was always ashamed of the way I looked. Even though I am proud of my looks today, I dread that my dad is right. I think I’m way too old for daring to pose as a groupie backstage. I’m 32 going on 33, (but I’ve been told I look much younger). Do you still I got a chance of realizing my dream even if it is for just one time?
Hopeful
A.
Congrats for shedding your extra weight. It not only looks better and makes one feel sexier, it is healthier to have a normal weight. You already proved to yourself you can accomplish things you set your mind to, so trying to meet a favorite band should be a breeze compared to losing lots of weight. Start out trying to meet a couple local bands and see how they react to you. If that goes over well, why not try for your favorite band? You only live once. I wrote an informative article called "How to get backstage without blowing anyone" that may give you some pointers. Click HERE
Q.
Will a lady get pregnant by fucking at her back (anal or oral) not vagina? I want to fuck my girl but she should not get pregnant,please suggest me some good idea.
A.
Are you for real? Put a rain coat on your cock dumb ass.
Q.
I have been seeing a girl recently, things have gone well. Now, like any other red blooded male I feel a desire to mark my territory. I’ve tried the basics, leaving watches behind etc. etc. but I feel I should do something more permanent. Taking ques from mother nature I am considering marking my territory with urine (not just leaving a few drops on her toilet seat, I mean pissing on her door etc.) Do you think this is appropriate in this day and age? Or is my testosterone-driven agenda clouding my rational thought process? If I decide to go ahead where would be the best place to do it?
Territorial Tom
A.
I think that’s a brilliant idea. Wait until really late at night when you kiss your sweetie good bye then whip it out and piss all around her building. Not her front door as that would end up smelling like Grand Central Station after a while. Just on her building or in her yard etc. Just knowing you marked your territory will give you an extra shot of confidence, an extra spring in your step, which is an irresistible trait. Try not to get caught, as that could result in making her sick or even worse, turning her on.
Q.
I just finished reading your response to the guy who thinks he doesn’t produce
enough sperm when he ejaculates. I have the OPPOSITE condition: When I cum,
it’s like a geyser, and it doesn’t matter if it’s because of masturbation or
sex. Every woman I’ve ever been with is startled after having sex with me for
the first time; they can’t believe that I have cum so much, and wonder if I
had not orgasmed for days or weeks before having sex with them. In your
response to "Little Load Larry," you said that shooting such heavy loads isn’t
normal. So is there something wrong with me?
Big Load Al
A.
No, nothing "wrong" at all,it’s just that you are juicier. You should maybe go
into porn. Just kidding.
If the women get freaked out, just say "wow, I usually don’t cum so much, you do
this to me baby" and they will think of it as a compliment rather than as an
inconvenience or wet freak show. But don’t take it personally if none of them can swallow
your tide without pausing a few times.
Q.
Not sure if anyone has asked you this before or not, but how do you tell a girl that she has
bad breath? My new girl is great in bed and is a sweet heart, but her mouth smells like
ass. I just can’t get myself to tell her this.
Grossed out Gary
A.
I know, I know, this is a tough one. Casually mention one day that one of your work mates/Friends just
dumped his girlfriend because her breath was so bad. And/or frequently offer her mints. If she still doesn’t
get the hint, stop kissing her and offer her another mint. If that doesn’t work, she is too dumb/ignorant to
kiss anyways.
Q.
My new girl is great, sex is wonderful and everything else, BUT she has one thing about her I don’t understand. At first the sex was just normal but now she knows me better she has revealed a rather bizarre fetish. She likes to watch Wallace and Gromit as we make love. She has also moaned Wallace’s name while she touches herself. I can deal with this, it doesn’t bother me too much but recently she has gone even further. The other night she presented two costumes, one for me, one for her…of Wallace and Gromit. She wants us to wear them while we have sex, with me as Wallace and her as Gromit. I think she an amazing woman, but if I give in to this will we ever have normal sex again?
Scared Stiff
A.
*For those of you who live in a cave, Wallace and Gromit are an Oscar winning animated duo with heavy Northern English accents. Wallace is a bald man and Gromit is his dog.
Wallace does have a sexy accent, so I understand her yearning. Nothing wrong with role playing and acting out ones fantasy, as long as no one gets physically hurt. If you are dead against it, tell her you can’t shag a dog or even someone dressed up as a dog because you frown upon bestiality
Q.
I met a girl and fell madly in love she said she is also in love with me and
wants to be with me. We both are looking for a long term relationship. When we
met she told me she had mostly male friends and knows that I do not
particularly care for the situation, but am willing to meet them and work on
my own insecurities from previous relationships ( I have been hurt in the past
by a girl who told me someone was just a friend). She told me they were all
purely friends and had never been with any of them previously. Now that I have
given my entire being to her she has confessed that one of them was an ex
lover. She said when they first met they only intended to enjoy each others
companionship without any strings. But during the relationship she fell in
love with him. He told her all the things she wanted to here to get what he
wanted. When she told him how she felt the relationship ended. Now she claims
they are only friends but sees him and speaks to him regularly on the phone.
She told me she knows it will never go anywhere but she still has very
strong feelings for him. When I found out I was devastated, I told her if she
really wants our relationship to go forward she would have to stop all contact
phone and e-mail conversations with him. She said she knows she needs to let
him go but does not know if she can. The situation is tearing me up inside
every day and now I am not sure that I can really trust what she tells me
since she was not up front with me when we met. I want so much to be with her
I’m not sure if I am thinking straight. The last time we spoke she said she
left him a message saying they need to talk and that when they do she is going
to tell him they can no longer be friends. I am not sure if she can do this and
if she does can I really believe that it is over or that they may still have
contact without letting me know. I don’t know what to do or say and need a
woman’s perspective on the situation.
Please help, "Crushed"
A.
Everyone lies a bit and it’s usually to save someones feelings from getting
hurt. She told you she still has strong feelings for him, nothing can change
that apart from time and perhaps falling deeply for you, but still, love
doesn’t die, it just subsides. I would tell her you need a break to think
about all this, which will surely show you if she can or can not live without
you. He appears even more attractive to her now because he is so forbidden, so
you need to make him less appealing. You have to put your love to the test.
This ex-boyfriend shit will never end unless you call her bluff.
Take a break and if she comes back to you, she is all yours and you will be
more confident and perhaps trust her again. If she doesn’t come back, it may hurt but
at least you will know the truth and you will be free to love someone else who puts you
number one on her list, where you deserve to be.(I would personally show her the door).
Q.
How do I convince a girl to blow me?
Eager Earl
A.
Say "Ladies first" and give her oral sex, then it will be your turn..
Q.
I have a problem with not being able to find other lesbians to have sex with. Can you give me some advice on where to find willing lesbians that would have me as a sexual partner.
Lesbo Lilly
A.
Make yourself a page on myspace.com and make it clear you are a Lesbian and look for some in your area. That site is much better than a dating site, everything is out in the open, you can see who you are communicating with and find someone close to you to meet. Unless you live in the middle of no where, there should be gay bars/clubs near you, if not, you may want to relocate to the nearest big city, as that’s where most open minded and sexually adventurous people live. Check out: www.lesbiannightlife.com
You could always try to convert a straight girl. It’s been done a million times before. Approach a woman and say "Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side" then show her how wide you can make your tongue.Works every time.
