Q.
A while ago, you disclosed your perfume to attract men in response to a horny lady. What about men? Is there a perfume that women can’t resist?
—Shower-less and Stinky
A.
Angel for Men (or its nickname “A*MEN”) by Thierry Mugler or Fahrenheit by Christian Dior. Not too much, just a dash here and there. A*MEN has chocolate in it and will make women’s mouths water when they get a whiff. The first time I massaged Depeche Mode, they were all wearing it, and I have to say, it was difficult for me to concentrate on my work. You will definitely notice more attention from the ladies when you wear these.
Q.
Why do men, straight and gay, shave their armpits? I can’t tell you how un-sexy I find this, and I’m a gay man who came of age in the Chelsea district of New York in the early ’90s—birthplace of the chest wax for guys. Don’t give me that “It’s cooler in the summer” or “It just feels cleaner” nonsense. It’s stupid! And it’s emasculating somehow. I suspect the same forces (i.e. unattractive German women who can’t get the knack of walking in heels) have moved this to the top of their lists, having been successful in their campaign to teach their men to pee sitting down.
—Hairy Hal
A.
It can’t be that gay men have given into dominating women and their wish to make the men shave. Since when do gay men give a fuck what women think/want? I think it started from certain ad campaigns and films in which shaved men were on display. Weak minds get sucked into such images and think that is what they have to do/wear/buy in order to get their pee-pee wet or at least gain a little love and acceptance. Also, young people usually have less hair so there must be a hidden agenda there (no hair=youth). I find it repulsive when men (hetero or gay) shave anything other than their face. Giving into trends or demands is just a sign of low self-esteem. Not to say shaving/waxing means low self-esteem, just pointing out that the further you go out of your way to look good and do annoying things like shave for more attention is just trying too hard, which is never sexy. Being yourself, hairy and all, is the hottest thing on earth in my eyes. When I see hetero men with shaved armpits/crotches, I cringe: It’s a sign of being high maintenance and vanity. Shall we start a “stop shaving” campaign? I will be your biggest supporter. Let it grow!
Q.
Why is it that when I masturbate I ejaculate only little sperm?
—Little Load Larry
A.
It could be that you need to drink more fluids, and if you wank many times per day, naturally it can’t be a full load every time. Even if a drop comes out, it’s still enough to populate the world, so don’t panic and try not to compare your load size to those one sees in porn. Those guys are chosen because of their (1) large schlongs, (2) stamina and (3) liters of spunk that shoot out of them (all of which are not the norm).
Q.
My boyfriend and I have had anal sex twice now. I have never had a strong urge to do this, but I am willing to try anything. The problem is that it scares me how much he likes it. The intensity of his orgasm is much greater than when we have vaginal intercourse. I also feel less connected to him this way, almost used. It isn’t that it is not at all pleasurable for me, or that I don’t want him to experience the greatest possible pleasure. I just feel he will want it more than “regular” intercourse. Am I weird for feeling used and less connected emotionally to him because of his intense enjoyment of anal? Help me please!
—Pain in my Ass
A.
I’m sure most of the girls reading this feel you. We wonder, “Now that he’s had my ass, will he always want my ass? Does he like my ass better than my pussy?” and, “Since when is ass back on the menu?” I have asked many men about this ass phenomenon, and they do admit the fascination is due to the tight fit and most importantly, because it’s so taboo and dirty (literally). You are the boss of your body, so don’t put up with anal sex if you don’t like it. If it’s just “OK” with you and you do it as a favor, use it as a treat, like once a month or on special occasions. If you give in every time, he will think he can do whatever he wants with you, whenever he wants. If it’s a treat, he’ll appreciate it more. No point in wasting time analyzing why he wants to fuck your ass, just be happy he likes to be in you. But make sure you call the shots.
< Some men love receiving anal sex too