Ask Dr. Dot


I am 34 and just found out I can not conceive children.

 Now I have given up all hope of ever finding a man that would want me and stay with me forever.

I would be grateful for any advice you can spare.

No bun Barb


"Forever?" It’s 2006, wake the fuck up.

There are some men who don’t want to have kids and there are MANY men who already have

enough children from previous relationships that just want a lady with no baggage, so they can be

her number one "baby". Sometimes having a kid together actually drives couples apart, as it is the most

 strenuous task two people can go through together. That is one less problem you have to worry about,

just try to see the positive side of your situation. If you radiate "woe is me" people will smell it and it’s

a HUGE turn off to men. As seedy as it may sound, check dating web sites for "single fathers" or

 "divorced fathers" ads. You may be surprised how many eager men are out there who want a woman

 for fun, not for reproduction.


Yo Dot, first off, you one fly sista. You dope on a
rope. i swear. But I got me a situation on my hands
and i could use some advice.
I’m a stand up comic at a club and the host and I have hung
out a few times. I think I could definitely shag her
but I’m worried about – ya know- shitting where I
eat..etc… she claims she is going to make a job
change soon but I dont know if that’s true or even when
that will be and I dont know if I can wait that long.
Shit, I mean she is SMOKING HOT!!! what’s a boy to

Da Fruit Fly


If you are both single, and she wants you, give it to her good. As we all know, you never know

 when your time is up, so do like Janis and "get it while you can".


I caught my husband cheating on me. Caught him a few times now and he swears the ladies mean

 nothing to me , but it makes me flip out and cry for weeks. We get along perfect in every other area of

 love and life but this can not go on. How much of this is a woman supposed to accept before she leaves?

I am tired of his pathetic lies but I love him. Help me.

Wise to the Lies


No one is perfect. If you get along in every other aspect but he strays, you may want to try a

 different approach. Notice when you chase a dog, he only runs further away? But if you stand still

and get busy, act like you are having fun and ignore the dog, it will usually come back to you and see

 what the hell is so entertaining. This also works with men. Rather than whining and complaining about

 what he is doing when he isn’t with you, get busy and have fun. If he tries his petty fibs on you, casually

say "don’t insult my intelligence with your lies, just spare me ok?". Make him know his games bore you.

The more freaked out you get, the more exciting the other women become to him. If you are apathetic,

 they won’t seem nearly as fun. This approach is tough, but in these modern times, practical and realistic.

 All that should really matter is how your partner is treating you. You can’t control what they do when they

 aren’t with you and it will only make you crazy wondering.


I hate my labia, you know, the meat curtains. The lips are too long and one is a tad longer then the other.

I won’t make love in a lighted room, that’s how ashamed I am. Am I the only one with this problem? I want
a pretty camel toe.


Dear Mighty Meat,

Take note that men aren’t really bothered much by most imperfections, they are just happy to get laid.

 I have asked men if they prefer tiny lips or big ones and they usually say (in the same tone a parent talks

about their offspring) "I love them all just the same!". But, if this is affecting your self esteem to the point

 where you feel unattractive, you could have them altered surgically. Bad side of that is you have to wait 6

weeks to try out your new and improved lips. I found a place for you that deal with that: Have a nice trim!