Sunday night I went to the Bloodhound Gang show at the Columbia Halle here in Berlin. I have never seen them before but saw their silly video for the song "you and me baby
and nothing but mammals, so lets do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel", obviously this band has a great sense of humor. There was a great vibe backstage, everyone
was in a good mood and super friendly. I first massaged the drummer, Adam, who used to be in a band called "A" out of Essex, UK. His twin brother was also backstage and
it took me a while to figure that out. I kept talking to the twin thinking it was Adam, DOH! They are both like 6 feet tall, blond eye candy just for your info. The picture I have down below of Adam doesn’t do him justice…anyhow, I kicked Adam’s ASS like he asked me to. He had knots galore, and apparently had never had a massage before.
(found out today through the rock and roll grape vine that most of the band is hurting and some are bruised from my evil hands. But I do warn people that if they hardly ever get a massage and then then get one from me, they will be hurtin for certain the next day BUT the day after that, they will feel born again. The bruising happens to people who have soft connective tissue).
Harry (singer) getting a rub down ^ a pre-show hug from Jimmy Pop ^
Then I massaged Harry, one of the singers. He is from PA and had his girlfriend Beth along for part of the tour. I massaged her after Harry and she said it was her
first massage too, so the place was full of massage virgins. I love that, I love to be the first one to pop their massage cherry. Gene Simmons and Oasis told me I broke their
massage cherry too *sigh*.
Before the show, Lupus (real name Matt) the guitar player saw me massaging every one and I asked him if he wanted one too. He said "you know what, I fucking HATE
massages. I LOVE to be stressed out and just loathe being rubbed down, so thanks but NO THANKS!" . He said it in a friendly way, but he was adamant about it. Um, remember
my Motorhead blog? Lemmy said the exact same shit before the show, but he caved in and let me rub his hands, then forearms and then shoulders.
Bloodhound Gang’s set list and the pic that Jared gave me. Never met a bass player before that used a pic, or maybe I just never noticed (?)
There were only two big rooms for the band to hang out in and they were adjoined by an open door. I was in one with my massage table, rubbing everyone down,
and all the while Rob, the British lighting dude sat there on the couch with Jared and brainstormed together with two German dudes on what shall appear on the huge
screen up above the stage. They use a lap top to make the text that appears each night and they employ locals to help translate the stuff into that particular countries language
and of course most of it is naughty slang. I was helping out to, coming up with loads of things in German for them. They wanted to say "the first row is really ugly" but I
had them write (in German) "thanks for letting the ugly folks up to the front" . It sounded hilarious in German.. erm, guess you had to be there. lol.
Normally I rub every one down before the show and then go home unless the band asks me to stay and rub them down after the show OR if it’s a band I want to see play. I
have never seen these guys yet and Beth kept saying how fun they were live so I decided to stay and see what all the hype was about…
I stood in the press pit and this is a view of the crowd ^ ………………………………………………………………..Then two German girls were asking me "are you Dr. Dot!??" and they asked to
take pictures with me.. maybe they will see it here online lol…they were so sweet! I think they had the hots for Jared
Jared in action, no shirt, teasing the babes and Jimmy Pop goin’ at it ^
< See the text on the screen?It says "this song is a little gay"
Jared getting Jaeger Meister poured into his pie hole ^ and a fan sitting and eating a WHOLE box of Dunkin’ Doughnuts with the promise that he will vomit profusely soon after
I was wondering why all the German security was bitching about the band, and asked why. They said "because they fucking PUKE all over the stage and sometimes
piss all over it too" (of course they said this in a very sprockets kind of German). I was like "wot!?" oh GOD, I definitely have to see the show now. I haven’t seen that
crap since Alice Cooper did it (years ago)..ok, so these guys are fun AND gross AND entertaining. Sweet! Cliche’ Rock and Roll behavior , I love that.
One of my favorite moments, right before a band ^ goes back on stage, they talk, or pray or what have you, I love to capture that moment if they let me. Too bad my camera
bites weenie. Above right, Jared wearing his I LOVE VAGINA shirt. More men need to wear these shirts, especially in GAY cities like Berlin.
Jimmy Pop ^ getting a belly massage (he is NOT shy at ALL!) Adam the drummer getting abused ^ (sorry gals, he’s married)
Jimmy again ^
After the show, there was an open bar party upstairs with Harry laying the music down… But instead of rushing up to the party (notice I changed and combed my hair for the
freakin’ party?) anyhow, Jimmy finally agreed to let me massage him, what started as just the neck turned into the back, head, neck, face, hands, arms, belly and feet.
He LOVED my massage and was really in heaven. Jimmy is super fucking funny and doesn’t give a FUCK what anyone thinks of him. He poses happily for pictures and
is super nice to fans. I love this kind of star/musician. Super friendly and cool.. love it. I asked him about that "video" I mentioned before (the "Mammals song") and he
said the day they shot that video in Paris , it was almost 90 degrees out and they all had to wear those furry costumes, they were sweatin’ their BALLS off but still had
to film.. LOL!
..
Harry doing his DJ thang ^ (while chatting to Jimmy and Adam). Jimmy Pop is giving me the thumbs up in the pic, but you can hardly tell cause my CAMERA is CRAP!
Oh, I have to explain this picture above right. Jared decided he wanted a massage DURING the after show party. It was 200 fucking DEGREES up there as they weren’t
allowed to open the windows due to the loud music and EVERY one was smoking! Anyhow, all the fans are dancing and keeping one eye always on each member of the
band. Jared is hard to miss, he is over 6 feet tall and all the girls were swooning over him. Anyhow, stands up, peels his Vagina shirt off nice and slow (all the girls are
staring, wonder what’s going to happen next) and he sits down and has me rub his shoulders for 20 minutes (I was sweating to DEATH but still gave it my all). Germans
stare, and I don’t just mean a glance, they STARE until you can feel it burn through your fucking head. They were watching the whole time in disbeliefe that he would just
stop partying and get a rub down. Loads of peeps whipped out their cameras and had a field day .
Beth the Goddess from PA and I at the after show bash ^
I then decided to give Beth a foot rub. So she got her feet out and I was amazing how fucking gorgeous her feet were!
I massaged her feet and calves for at least a half hour. She confirmed my theory that if only men would rub our feet, we would be putty in their hands..
Since we had a crowed watching I had fun sniffing her feet really long for the gawkers pleasure. Beth and I were laughing our ASSES off.
But seriously, she has AMAZING feet, let the foot fettish in you enjoy the beauty above….Her boyfriend is a lucky man!
Lupus and I after his massage. Yeah, you read correctly. He finally surrendered to Dorothy and got the kick ass pit bull style massage. I assume he is the one hurting the most
today in Hamburg, but like they say, "no pain, no gain…"
In short ,the Bloodhound Gang are extremely entertaining in concert and very very fun people. If they are coming to a town near you, go see them, you will have a great time.
Ps. I fly back to NYC this Sunday…I want to be a part of it, New York, New York boooooo WAAAAH!