Ask Dr. Dot


Dear DD,

My boyfriend and I are both 18 years old and have sex on a regular basis. Once I got pregnant and had an abortion and it was hell in every way possible. I can’t take the pill because I smoke and my gyno says it’s bad for me, yet my guy hates condoms. He told me that if I jump around and then pee right after sex, I can’t get pregnant. I am too afraid to ask my Mom about this so can you tell me if it is true?


Dear Penny,

That has got to be the dumbest shit I have ever heard. Jumping around and pissing after unsafe sex will not prevent you from getting pregnant, nor will the ever so popular “pulling out” right before the guy shoots his wad. There can be up to 1 million sperm in pre-cum. Even having sex during your period could get you knocked up. Men have been known to make up stories to get in there with out wearing a condom, as it feels better, but now that you know how much an abortion hurts, don’t accept any bullshit. Use condoms along with spermicidal foam to be on the safe side. Too bad if he hates condoms; ‘no glove, no love’.

Dr. Dot

YO! Dr. Dot

Over the summer I was playing soft ball and got to be pals with the team. One of the guys had a hot girlfriend and would bring her to the games. I got to be friends with both of them and she would cut and highlight my hair (yeah, I am a bit vain). Anyhow, now they have broken up, she still does my hair (for SUPER cheap) but calls me just for the hell of it and has asked me to call her if I wanted to go out. She is flirty with me and I do want to fuck her silly, but I think it’s bad to date a kinda friends ex gal. I am lost because I can’t afford other hair dressers and don’t want to lose her, but if I don’t call her, she may get mad. Help!


Dear Jonesy,

Shagging this girl would be a bad move. Summer wasn’t that long ago, so the break up is fresh and she may just be doing this to make her ex jealous and they may end up back together and you would look like an asshole if you went for it. Even if she isn’t after revenge and really does just want you in her, think of all the pressure. If you don’t do it right or don’t commit, you lost yourself an inexpensive, friendly hairdresser. Best thing is to just tell her “look, I think you are great, but I have met someone else and I can’t”, or “I think it would mess up our professional relationship, so lets just keep it how it is, sugar”.

Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

I met a girl online, fell in love and had her move in with me. She has turned into a lazy drunk and won’t even work. Now I don’t know what to do. She has crashed my car and even got arrested. I still have feelings for her but I need my space back. She kinda changed her life for me, but now I have no life. I would feel mean just tossing her out on the street. Any clever ideas?


Dear Kurt,

If she doesn’t work, how does she get money for booze to be the lazy drunk? Stop supporting her bad habits, no money for booze, no booze in the house first of all. She will then be sober. When she is sober, talk to her tell her she has to change or move out. That is one of the problems with meeting someone on line, you never know their secret habits (drugs, alcohol, porn addict etc.) all of which can be easily hid over the Internet. If you really love her and can’t part with her, at least get her to go to AA meetings but it sounds to me like you have become her parent and this is no fun. If she doesn’t snap out of it, buy her a bus ticket and send her on her way or you could just move out and leave her with the bills.

Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

My best friend is cheating on her boyfriend, whom is also a friend of mine. He is in jail and gets out in a year and it is killing me not to tell him the truth. She says she loves him, yet drags a different man home every weekend and has sex with him. I find this disgusting and wrong. Should I tell him? I don’t want to see him get hurt but also don’t want to lose her friendship. This is a difficult situation and it’s bugging me big time.


Dear Crystal,

First of all, let destiny run it’s course, let things happen naturally, don’t get involved like that in other peoples business, its bad karma. Speaking of karma, know that what will be, will be and if she is being cruel to him, she may get a taste of her own medicine someday, but that is not your problem. Secondly, perhaps she really does love him and just fucks the other guys for fun. Men seem to be able to separate love from sex easily, they can be madly in love with one woman and yet fuck another and not let it interrupt the love they have for their woman. This has been going on since the beginning of time, no one can change it. Maybe your girlfriend has it all set in her head and heart, she loves him, but has ‘exercise’ with other men until her big love gets out of jail. All the time and energy you are wasting on worrying about them surely must put a dent in your love life, no?

Dr. Dot