Dear Dr. Dot,
What do I do about an ex girlfriend that dumped me for
another dude, but still wants to be friends? I would like to stay on good
terms, but keep my distance and move on. I start to heal and she gets mad that
I “ignore her” and she does silly things like comes into my work and flaunts
her boyfriend and says stuff that hurts me. I have never said one derogatory
thing to her. I have been cool to her and her boyfriend. But she won't go
away! It has digressed to the point that I changed my instant messenger screen
name and make it impossible for her to keep tabs on me. Yet, it's obvious she
has her ways. I have deleted her from my myspace friends list and all yet she
keeps putting in those “friend requests”. She won't go away! I don't
understand this. Can you make heads or tails outta this? I am a nice guy by
nature. But am ready to be an asshole. Ever heard one like this?
Gordon
Dear Gordon,
I bet you give good oral, that's what this is all about. She thought the grass
was greener on the other side of the fence and left you. Her new guy probably
doesn't lick her plate clean if you get my drift and now she is regretting it
and hence, freaking out. She is obviously not over you, but that's her problem
Now, as it sounds to me, you are over her. If you took her back, you couldn't
trust her anymore, and you must be turned off by her idiotic behavior. You are
right to feel the inner asshole in you trying to get out. You may have to let
him out to get the point across. Try writing her a letter and saying “Listen,
you made your bed, now lie in it. I can not be friends with you, it is too
disturbing, please move on and leave me alone. Peace.” . If that letter
doesn't help, you will have to embarrass her in front of her new whipping
post. When she drags him into your work again, repeat the words from the letter
and she will crawl away with her tail between her legs. Haven't you ever heard
that Stones song “let me go”?…
Dr. Dot
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Dear Dr. Dot,
I am 20 years old and I am concerned about my small penis it is almost 4
inches long fully erect but only 2.5 inches in circumference all my friends
say I have a pencil dick girls often laugh my fully erect penis and say “is that all
you've got?” or “where is it I can't feel it”. Will I ever find a woman that will get
pleasure out of my penis? Can I make it bigger?
Tiny Tim
Dear Tiny Tim,
I know how you must feel, I have dated a few tiny men and they always felt bad
about this situation. You could aim to please the female first with your mouth.
Make it your mission to become the BEST man around for oral sex and they won't
care about your cock size.(I have written a few times about how to lick a woman the right
way, scroll back in time in my blogs/columns).Take your tongue and make it
flat and big like a cow, then make sure you lick the clit (hope you know where
that is!) nice and firm, up and down, never losing contact. Keep it wet and ask if it is the right spot, never give up until she cums, then start shagging her, she won't even care about your cock size if you make her cum with your mouth!
Also, my male friends tell me that Asian women have really tiny, tight
vagina's, so you could try them out, they seem to like small sized men as they
are small too. Like any muscle, your cock will get a tad bigger and stronger if you work it
out a lot, you know, wanking and shagging, so try to wank a lot.(“Sir Wank A Lot”).
Like Yoko Ono sang “every man, has a woman who loves him”.Not all men have to
be big, there is someone out there who will love you just as you are, don't
worry about that. Women know that men with huge dicks are usually HUGE DICKS!
Hence, small dick men are super nice, so it all depends what is important to
the woman, a nice guy or a huge cock. Seldom do they come together.
Hope that helped
x Dr. Dot
PS. You can't really make it bigger with an operation, so just wank.
PPSS. Make the ladies laugh and they will usually overlook most flaws.
PPPSSS. I just noticed “all of my friends say I have a pencil dick” uh, hello, why are all of your
friends looking at your dick in the first place?
