“Be in my video” .. Dr. Dot in Stakka music video

First I want to say today has been one hell of a Monday. I woke up, looked at my text messages and got one from DEZ the guitarist of the Misfits (former Black Flag) which said “Hi Dotty, how are you?” and there was a photo of him in his scary gear, you know, white make up and dark eyes, wearing a hood, I was like OMG! LOL! What a thing to wake up to. Then he called to chat, he was about to go sound check in North Carolina. He is getting married soon and wants me to meet his woman. I will go to their Halloween show at BB Kings in NYC and finally meet her. Dez is wicked cool, you should read the blog I wrote about the Misfits and Dez a few months ago, you may grow to love him too. Click HERE to see that hilarious blog.

Then I went to a recording studio owned by my pal Michelangelo and his band called SUPERHERO. They helped me lay 5 tracks down for a just for shits and grins demo cd. I did 'Dirty Deeds', 'Highway to Hell', 'Black Dog', 'Old time Rock and Roll'(don't think Tom gay fucking Cruise please, think Bob kick ass Seger!), 'I Feel Good' (James Brown), and 'Rock and Roll (Led Zep). Took ages but it's done and sounds great. If I can figure out how to get the bastard online, I will share it with you. I have no voice now lol!

It has taken two years, but finally the MTV headed music video I took part in is finally done. The director sent me the link today. The artist is called STAKKA (real name is Shaun Morris) and he is a Drum & Bass star in his native UK (he lives in Brooklyn but is from England). The song is called 'Mars Attacks' and it is pretty good even though I don't like that type of music, it sounds cool! Click HERE to read more about STAKKA.

I play his girlfriend and you will first see me in the middle of the video wearing a officers hat in the office and then talking to him on the phone then at the end I rub his chest and walk with STAKKA then kiss him. The concept is, aliens are taking over the USA and Stakka saves the day…

It should air soon on MTV internationally.

Ask Dr. Dot (How to make her orgasm through penetration/Wet nursin’ it)

Dear Dr. Dot,

For some reason, I can't make my girlfriend come by penetration. Giving her oral 
gets the job done, but it takes ages and my jaw hurts after and I get a rash from 
her stubble. Anyhow, it makes me feel inadequate when she complains to me about it.
Does this mean I am not good in bed? Am I missing out on some sort of secret? She is 
only 18, maybe it's her fault! We need help please.
Dear Jimmy,
First,throw some blankets on the floor, beds are too soft, she may never feel you properly on
a soft mattress and your cock will seem bigger and harder when you do it on the floor. 
Have her get on top of you, insert yourself, then put loads of 'KY Jelly' or your favorite  
lube on your lower abs, from the cock up to the navel button, it all has to be wet (hopefully
you don't shave that area, as stubble will scratch her clit big time!). Grab her ankles, and 
slide her back and forth like a cheese grater (she is the cheese, you are the grater) her clit 
will protrude in this position and rubbing it up against your lower abs should make her cum. 
Talk dirty to her, tell her how fucking sexy she is, how you REALLY want her to cum all over you
this will help her get there. Try to lick her tits while she is on top, (your hands will be busy 
holding her ankles and grinding her into your lower abs) so use your mouth to lick and suck her 
nipples. Your reaching up to suck her breast will make your stomach muscles harder which makes 
it easier to rub her clit properly. This really works but may be hard if your belly is out of 
shape, but if you really want your girl to cum all over you and scream for joy, stick with it.

Good luck
Dr. Dot
Dear Dr. Dot,
 Is it true that if someone sucks on my boobs for a few weeks that I will produce milk? 
Freaky Fran
Dear Fran,

Yes, it is true. Even if you are not pregnant, if the breast are sucked on a few times a day for a few weeks, the breast will start producing milk. The suction makes the body think there must be a baby around and it produces milk. You would have to find someone to suck on your tits at least 3 times a day and for 20 minutes each time in order for that to work. In the very far past, some women had this done to wet nurse. Upper class ladies who had a baby but didn't want to breast feed would hire a wet nurse (a woman to nurse their baby). Sometimes the wet nurse had a baby of her own, but not always. It is really hard to get pregnant while breast feeding, but it is not a reliable form of birth control, so I wouldn't try this if that is what you had in mind. It certainly won't do you any harm, but it is a tedious task to get the milk to arrive, but some might see it as a good challenge and worth all hard work. Let me know how it comes out (pun intended).

Dr. Dot

Painting of Dr. Dot by Amy Rowland


A friend of mine from myspace, named Amy also knows as  “Rock on Bitches”  did something so amazing for me, she painted an amazing portrait of me, framed it and sent it to me. How sweet is that? It is already hanging in my living room, I LOVE it. Thanks Amy! Check out another painting she did. Click

Whatcha doin’ Dot?

Catherine (my Baltimore area massage assistant) drove up from Baltimore to spend a couple days with me, just to trade massages and laugh up a storm. I massage her for two hours, we eat something, then she massages me for two hours, we eat and so it goes on and on 😀  Life is so rough. If you could just see my hair!


Europe bound, again


Oh so busy lately, and now I am getting ready for my regular trip to Berlin, Germany again. I fly there on Oct. 2nd and return on Oct 29th. Jasmine gave me a list of which cds she wants me to burn for her:  Physical Graffiti (Led Zepp), The White Album (Beatles), Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking (Roger Waters), Relics (Pink Floyd), Obscured by Clouds (Pink Floyd). I thought she already had all of these, guess not. So I am busy playing DJ at home. So happy she has a good taste in music 😀

My column will start to appear in a popular New York newspaper starting in a couple weeks, so I am happy about that, yay! I don’t want to say which one yet, as it’s bad luck to speak about unhatched eggs.

NYC is awesome right now, still very warm and humid, everyone running around with smiles on their faces, it’s amazing, I love this place (even though the stench of trash is overwhelming in the heat).EW! Thinking about going to Georgia for Turkey day, haven’t been down there for a couple years, but now that my Dad is living in the USA again, I need to go and raise some hell with the fam damily 😉

I feel very restricted lately with my blog, it apparently pisses a lot of people off, which makes it a fucking drag to write. I want to be free to say what I want, but keep getting threats and people pissing and moaning to me. What a drag! Gag orders galore… booooo! As I write this the song ” I want to break free” by Queen plays in my head 🙂

Need a vacation? There is the “Ultimate Hippie Vacation” for sale on EBAY. My pal Glen, the drummer of Project Object pointed this out to me, I have to share it. Click HERE 

Ask Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

What do I do about an ex girlfriend that dumped me for
another dude, but still wants to be friends? I would like to stay on good
terms, but keep my distance and move on. I start to heal and she gets mad that
I “ignore her” and she does silly things like comes into my work and flaunts
her boyfriend and says stuff that hurts me. I have never said one derogatory
thing to her. I have been cool to her and her boyfriend. But she won't go
away! It has digressed to the point that I changed my instant messenger screen

name and make it impossible for her to keep tabs on me. Yet, it's obvious she
has her ways. I have deleted her from my myspace friends list and all yet she
keeps putting in those “friend requests”. She won't go away! I don't
understand this. Can you make heads or tails outta this? I am a nice guy by
nature. But am ready to be an asshole. Ever heard one like this?


Dear Gordon,
I bet you give good oral, that's what this is all about. She thought the grass

was greener on the other side of the fence and left you. Her new guy probably
doesn't lick her plate clean if you get my drift and now she is regretting it
and hence, freaking out. She is obviously not over you, but that's her problem

Now, as it sounds to me, you are over her. If you took her back, you couldn't
trust her anymore, and you must be turned off by her idiotic behavior. You are

right to feel the inner asshole in you trying to get out. You may have to let
him out to get the point across. Try writing her a letter and saying “Listen,
you made your bed, now lie in it. I can not be friends with you, it is too
disturbing, please move on and leave me alone. Peace.” . If that letter
doesn't help, you will have to embarrass her in front of her new whipping
post. When she drags him into your work again, repeat the words from the letter

and she will crawl away with her tail between her legs. Haven't you ever heard

that Stones song “let me go”?…

Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,
I am 20 years old and I am concerned about my small penis it is almost 4
inches long fully erect but only 2.5 inches in circumference all my friends
say I have a pencil dick girls often laugh my fully erect penis and say “is that all
you've got?” or “where is it I can't feel it”. Will I ever find a woman that will get
pleasure out of my penis? Can I make it bigger?

Tiny Tim

Dear Tiny Tim,
I know how you must feel, I have dated a few tiny men and they always felt bad

about this situation. You could aim to please the female first with your mouth.
Make it your mission to become the BEST man around for oral sex and they won't
care about your cock size.(I have written a few times about how to lick a woman the right
way, scroll back in time in my blogs/columns).Take your tongue and make it
flat and big like a cow, then make sure you lick the clit (hope you know where
that is!) nice and firm, up and down, never losing contact. Keep it wet and ask if
it is the right spot, never give up until she cums, then start shagging her, she won't even care about your cock size if you make her cum with your mouth!
Also, my male friends tell me that Asian women have really tiny, tight
vagina's, so you could try them out, they seem to like small sized men as they
are small too. Like any muscle, your cock will get a tad bigger and stronger if you work it
out a lot, you know, wanking and shagging, so try to wank a lot.(“Sir Wank A Lot”).
Like Yoko Ono sang “every man, has a woman who loves him”.Not all men have to
be big, there is someone out there who will love you just as you are, don't
worry about that. Women know that men with huge dicks are usually HUGE DICKS!
Hence, small dick men are super nice, so it all depends what is important to
the woman, a nice guy or a huge cock. Seldom do they come together.
Hope that helped
x Dr. Dot
PS. You can't really make it bigger with an operation, so just wank.
PPSS. Make the ladies laugh and they will usually overlook most flaws.

PPPSSS. I just noticed “all of my friends say I have a pencil dick” uh, hello, why are all of your

friends looking at your dick in the first place?

Hurricane Katrina

Since this storm has hit, I have been staying at home and watching the news, which is a non stop tear jerker. Bush had to cut his vacation short, boo fucking hoo. Too bad most of our money and troops are tied up in a senseless war in Iraq. I hope this country finally sees how incompetent George W. really is. My heart goes out to the people who are homeless and injured, shook up and confused. I can’t believe this is happening here, it’s like a bad movie. Hard to laugh at the moment with so much suffering going on.

“If it keeps on rainin’, levee’s goin’ to break,
If it keeps on rainin’, levee’s goin’ to break,
When The Levee Breaks I’ll have no place to stay.

Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Lord, mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Got what it takes to make a mountain man leave his home,
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well.

Don’t it make you feel bad
When you’re tryin’ to find your way home,
You don’t know which way to go?
If you’re goin’ down South
They go no work to do,
If you don’t know about Chicago.

Cryin’ won’t help you, prayin’ won’t do you no good,
Now, cryin’ won’t help you, prayin’ won’t do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.” Led Zeppelin

One of the only things that has made me burst out laughing lately is this: