Ask Dr. Dot

(If you are eating while you read this column, finish your food first lol)

Dear Dr. Dot,
I travel a lot and my boyfriend is alone for long periods of time. I bought him a few porno’s to keep him busy, but is that enough to keep a guy from cheating? I can’t change jobs just to keep him company and he can’t travel with me. Any tips for me?
Ruth  NYC

Dear Ruth,
If you travel a lot, I assume your job pays well enough to buy him something that could keep him entertained. Have you ever heard of the
Real Doll? It is a life size doll made of latex and can be custom ordered with what ever hair or eye color, breast size etc, you think he will like. (They make man dolls too). I checked out their web site ( and they cost $1,999. It could make wanking more exciting for him, but there is never any guarantee when it comes to a person being physically true.
Dr. Dot

Hey Mike,
That old saying “You are what you eat” is 100% true. If you drink beer, your spunk will taste like beer, if you smoke cigs, it can taste like chewing tobacco. Also, if you don’t drink enough water, it can come out like chunky style clam chowder (and it will even taste like it if you eat a lot of sea food). Yeah, I know, ew! But put yourself in her shoes, and just that thought alone should get you drinking more water, eating a lot of fruit (yummy, strawberry flavored!) and veggies. Eat and drink healthy for a few weeks and have her do another taste test, I am sure it will improve. Oh, and wash that thing real quick before inviting someone for a snack.
Dr. D!

Hey Dr. D,
My girl friend says my sperm taste bad. At first she wouldn’t swallow, not I can’t even get her to go down on me. I love her and everything else about her, but come on; life without head is not worth living. My penis and I would be eternally grateful if you come up with a way to get her going down again.