Tag: sex

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Ask Dr. Dot…. March 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…

Q.
My husband turns 42 this year and he's become this insecure person.  He was never like
this very insecure, withdrawn, needy, and at times high strung. We have sex 5 times a
 week sometimes twice a day.  He brings up my first long term relationship up constantly.
 This past relationship was 23 years ago, lasted 2 years and I was only 17. I have been
 married to my Husband for 17 years and now this is coming up in conversation constantly.
 My first relationship was HELL, we hardly saw each other and all we did was fight and
 I chose to forget about it a long time ago but he keeps bringing it up because the
 fuck I was with took my virginity and my husband feels it was
 Memorable, but not for me because it was basically forced and at that age and you put
yourself in stupid situations.  I don't think there are too many women out there that say
 what a beautiful experience it was losing their virginity. I am sure there is some but
 it's not the majority.  My question is how do I get him to get past this?  Or is it
something I have to live with?  Should I let him go and maybe he can find himself a
“memorable” virgin to deflower?  I don't want him to tear me down to bits so I feel
tainted while I am married to him.  But I don't know how much more of this I can take-please
 advise!! By the way LOVE YOUR COLUMN-IT IS THE BEST!!!!!! 
Tainted Tammy

A.
The Bitch gets sex more than 5 times a week, even after 17 years of marriage
 (this must be a world record)  and yet he is still “insecure, withdrawn, needy, and
at times high strung"?
What a spoiled prick. Dogs, like Men, are on their best behavior when they want to be
fed. Keep his "bowl" half full, as in; keep him hungry for you and he may be a bit nicer
to you. Being TOO nice to men, giving them TOO much sex doesn't make them love you more,
 it can have the opposite effect, it can make them ungrateful, lazy and it can turn them
 into monsters. Sure, they all say they want sex everyday, but then there is NO
challenge and they feel they have all the power, like yours; he feels so powerful that
he picks on you about something that happened decades ago. Ask him "are you that fucking
 bored?” Tell him you are done talking about the past and it’s killing your sex drive to
 the point where you don't want to fuck him anymore let alone several times a week if he
 keeps up this bullshit.
He is probably unhappy about other things, like turning 42, and no matter how much pussy
 he gets, it won't make him happy, only he can make himself happy, so stop trying so
 hard to please him, you are only making it worse. Sometimes when people are miserable,
 they actually resent folks being too nice to them as they subconsciously feel they don't
 deserve it. In other words, he doesn't deserve all that pussy if he is being a wanker.
Good luck with that, I would tell him to be nice and drop the past or move the fuck on
 as he obviously doesn’t know how good he has it.

Q.
I have a girlfriend whom I love very much and she loves me very much. Making
love is like unbelievable; we both have a great connection and 80% of the time
we both orgasm together. Though it seems like every time she is on top of me I
can’t seem to hold an erection for more then 5 minutes. In fact when I feel my
self losing my erection, I switch positions right away. I have never ever had
this problem with other woman before. One thing I noticed is that she gets very
wet and usually cums two to three times, and literally drips gulps of fluid. Do
you think it's her fluid that is making me lose my erection? I can’t understand
this. please help me.
Wet Willy

A.
You say it didn't happen with other women, so it could be her dripping wet pussy
gets too loose/relaxed to keep your cock hard. It is a compliment that she gets so wet,
so be sure not to whine about it, just take your hand from time to time, and wipe
her pussy (ask her to lift up for a second and wipe her). Your dry (clean) hand will take
enough excess fluid away to regain some resistance which you surely loose when it
gets so slippery, hence you loose your stiffy. If your hand isn't enough, then you
should keep a clean, soft rag around to sop up her juice from time to time; mop that
baby up and keep going as a juicy girl is good thing.

Q.
My wife and moved to Berlin, Germany 6 months ago as my job has relocated me here.

(we are both from the UK). She can't
speak German and hasn't been able to find a decent job. She is extremely fit, very
good looking indeed and so I wasn't that surprised (but not happy) to find out that
she is working for an online, sexy web cam chat thingy. One of my work mates found her
and actually paid her for a chat (he claims he was just checking to make sure it wasn’t full nudity,
it’s topless). We had a giant argument about this and she doesn’t see
anything wrong with it, but I want her to quit. I feel World War 3 coming on, please
answer fast.
Nervous Nate

A.
You can’t force her to stop so try to think positive; those girls can earn loads of cash,
they never meet the men they chat with and it’s good for her ego; getting told she
looks good will boost her confidence and sex drive. Plus, she is obviously grooming
 herself well, so she will stay looking hot for you too. Women do those things for two
 reasons (1) Not enough income (2) They like to be admired and looked at. It could be worse,
 she could be stripping in a club, where men can meet her and maybe even touch her. So
count your blessings, your double income and be happy you married such a sex bomb you
lucky bastard.

Q.
 
A few years ago, my wife was attacked and
robbed in a bar she worked in. Her and the
manager were stripped and left bound and gagged
for hours until they were able to work themselves
free. She said she was "fondled slightly" by the criminal,
who she has described as "not unattractive."
She says it could have led to rape although it didn’t,
but the probability of it kept her wet!
Ever since that incident, she constantly referrers to it
during our love making. She admitted almost
from the day it happened that she was aroused by
the entire thing and masturbates while
thinking about it and she says she cums the hardest
while thinking about the ordeal while we screw.
Now she wants me to tie her up and re-create it.
I refused.  I'll talk about it, but not this.
She now calls it an "erotic encounter!"  It was a crime,
not an encounter or a fantasy. It makes me very upset.
How can something like this be arousing? I'm concerned
 that she has some type of personality disorder.
What do you think?
Disgusted Dan
 
A.
It's common for people to find a sexual way to look
at drama in order to digest and deal with it.
Had your wife been violently hurt and still wanking over it,
then perhaps she has a screw loose but if she was just stripped,
 gagged and fondled perhaps that turned her on. Imagine you were
stripped and gagged by a hot female thief? Try to put yourself
in her shoes.  If this is the only thing that makes you think
she could be nuts, I’d let it slide.
She is just a pervert in bed and lord knows there are loads of
those around.
There is no way to change her way of thinking and the more you
tell her it's sick or wrong, the more forbidden and naughty it
 will get for her. Why not tie her up once and act it out, just
to shut her up and make her fantasy finally come true.
Even people who have never been raped act it out in the bedroom
 as a fantasy.
Try it once then tell her later that you are getting bored
reliving her “encounter” and you want to play out one of your
 fantasy’s now  and don't sugar coat it either. If you can’t beat
 ‘em, join ‘em.

 

Q.
I have a perfect BF who treats me great but I have taken advantage.
 For the last few months I have been a vicious shrew to him. I said
some really cruel stuff that I didn’t mean!. He is still with me but
 the twinkle in his eye has gone, and I can sense he’s lost his
confidence. He used to be so funny and full of life. To make things
 worse, the hot bartender at our drinking hole has noticed our relationship
 sinking and she now flirts with him in her slutty clothes; last time
we were there she was really pushing it, I know she wants him. He goes there
 on his own sometimes, what can I do to stamp my mark on him again? She
 wasn’t sniffing around before when things were perfect. My eyes are starting
to water now thinking about it. I care about him and want to make it up
to him. How can I get him back to his normal self? Why did I act like that?
 Flirting with Disaster

 


A.
Don’t worry about “getting him back to his normal self”, you need to
 get back to normal. Sometimes we use our partner/lover as a whipping
 post, we forget that only our parents have to love us, anyone else
can (and will) walk away if you treat them badly. Perhaps you are drinking
 too much caffeine? Caffeine can make people very edgy and bitchy.
Think hard about your habits and routines and see if you can find any thing
 that is contributing to your bitchy behavior. Some people get too cozy when
 they are being treated well. They start to get high off of the power of
 having the upper hand in the relationship and they just take advantage,
like you were doing.
Write him an honest letter; keep it short and sweet, tell him you are embarrassed
 for being so evil and ask him if there is anything you can do to make it
 up to him. Don't go over board though; just start being sweet and grateful
 right away. Massage him, give him loads of oral and let him do most of the
talking for a while, and give him some space. When he reaches out, be there,
 be kind and if you two are meant to stay together, things will be like they
used
 to be, sparkle and all. Now about the hot vulture. Never mention her to
 him and vice versa! That would only make them gravitate towards each other.
Start giving him amazing, really long blow jobs, take your sweet old time,
and sit him naked on the corner of a bad, kneel down on a pillow, naked on
the floor in front of him, make sure there is a mirror in back of you, so
 he can see you from behind while you blow him and lick his balls,. I doubt
going to a bar would be on his mind anymore. Dress sexy around him, red dress
, cleavage, STOCKINGS.
 Start doing fun things with him, tell him the bar is starting to bore you,
 bring him bowling, out to karaoke, anything that would keep you two out of
 that bar and be fun! (try to do this transition slowly, so he doesn't think
 you are going over board).
When you see the bitch at the bar, be really nice and friendly to her and
 tip her a lot, it's harder for a girl to steal another girl’s man when she
is "friends" with her.

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot Feb. 1 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…

 

Q.

I am only 18 and I have a few questions that I am afraid to ask anyone else. Go on and laugh if you
will but what is the sticky white shit in the bottom of my girlfriend’s panties? I investigate them
(read: scratch and sniff) when she is in the bathroom or on the phone. Smells nice, but is that her
cum? Also, I am afraid to go down on her, it looks so scary and I am afraid I may do it wrong.
Curious George

A.
The "sticky white shit", you mean, her clitty litter? That is her juice, nothing to be alarmed about
 unless it looks like cottage cheese and scratches her snatch every chance she gets. First of all,
there is only one way to find out how to lick her correctly and that's by doing it and stopping
every once and a while and asking her "like that?". Don't do the man thing and drive around for ages
 without a map and without asking for directions, just ask her. Make your tongue nice and wide and
lick her like a cow licks a block of salt is a good way to start and keep in mind "real men eat pussy".

Q. My young, hot girlfriend makes me buy her expensive lingerie but I hardly ever see her
 in it. When we make love, she is usually naked already or wearing boring white panties.
 Do you think she is selling it? Should I confront her? Don’t want to be pushy, as she is
the boss for sure.
Big Spender

 

A.
Sounds to me like you are being played. She is probably wearing it for some other lucky
fucker. Speak up and convince her to wear it for you. Ask her to allow you to choose what
she will put on for you before you screw. Tell her you want to dress her and quickly take
inventory, then you will know if she sold it, is just too fucking comfy to bother or worse,
 wearing the good stuff for the other guy.

Q.
My girlfriend keeps asking me if I find her girlfriends sexy. She says shit like “would you
do Joanne if you could?” or “Isn’t Sophia sexy?”. In fact, I do think her friends are fine,
and would bang every one of them had I the chance, but why would my girl ask me that? Is
 this a sign that she is a tad gay? Is she hinting around for a threesome? Could this be the
best girlfriend on earth that allows me to say whatever I want or is this too good to be
true? Thoughts please Doctor D.
Paranoid Pete

A.
Watch your ass Pete, you are being lead into a (literally) booby trap. Just smile and say,
 “none of them are as gorgeous as you babe”. If she wanted a threesome, she would start one
or ask you for one, but this sounds more like her picking your brain to find out if you would
fuck around with her friends. If you admit “yeah, I would love to shag Sophia silly”, you
 will be under close inspection, even if it’s unwarranted. Take the high road and save the
fantasy talk for your buddies or there will be hell to pay.
 
Q.
I have two questions; hope that doesn’t make me sound needy. I am 21 and I love fucking my 25
year old boyfriend, and yes, we do use safe sex. I am really attracted to him and he is great
in bed (giant cock, very generous, lots of stamina) but what I don’t understand is why my pussy
dries out after about 15 minutes of sex. I am turned on as hell but dry. Second problem, how
 the FUCK do I avoid pussy farts?

Dried up Butter Cup

Pussy Farts are a universal problem ^

 

A.
You say you use safe sex, so I am guessing it’s the condom that is causing your snatch to evaporate
 so quickly. They some how rob us of our juices, wiping the walls of your pussy dry with each
stroke. Try to use lubricated latex condoms. Avoid lambskin condoms because they don’t block
HIV and STDs. Always keep a water-based lube near the bed, as oil based ones will melt the condom.
 Pussy farts usually occur in the doggy style position,  or when the cock stuffs air up your hole
like a bicycle pump, just try to keep him in you, rather than having him come all the way out and
avoid arching your back when you do it doggy style, air sneaks in easier like that. Keep your slot
 nice and tight by Kegeling ( Pussy Pilates).

"Nice and Tight" ^ like Scarlett

 

Q.

I'm 33, from here, grew up in a middle class household, with one sibling.
I had to learn a lot about the way the world works.
My girlfriend grew up in Australia. She's 32, from a large, very wealthy family.
She is wonderful but going through a brutal divorce and cries all the time. She questions
my feelings for her. I hate to hear people cry about everything. I find it weak and
annoying. I'm aware that life is hard for her right now. But it's killing me! I give her
advice and then she turns it around on me and my life. When I hear this shit, I get quiet.
Then she knows that I'm upset and starts to apologize. She also
has Multiple Sclerosis I know what this does to her. I love her and I'll wait for her.
 
I am very loyal and know I am a good boyfriend;
I don't give up on people, hold grudges or worried about wasting time.
I've read your advice to others and was amazed by your vision and need input,
some other way to look at this dilemma.
At wits end Wally 

 


 
A.
Some of those tears could be from missing her family and their support.
I realize some may get emotional about a divorce but she should be happy, not sad, that she
can now move on and concentrate on her new relationship and the future, not crying about the
miserable past (most divorce because of bad times, not good times). Some of the tears could
be from the fear of her disease and/or perhaps she is on the pill? The pill can make any
woman an emotional wreck. Ask her if she is on the pill as many women just can't handle the monthly
hormonal roller coaster ride the pill brings them on. It can push some into deep depression.
Write her a letter and tell her you were hoping she would be relieved and happy about
finalizing her departure from her ex, not sad and you are taking those tears as a sign she
isn't happy about your future together. Perhaps if she reads this she will finally see that her
 whining is becoming selfish and making you feel responsible.
You can't save her from her disease, but you are there for her so that should be enough to dry
those miserable tears.

Q.

I started dating this guy and things got very good, very fast. It feels legit, and I
know he is not a player type, he's doing all the right things; dinners, plans to go away,
he introduces me to everyone, etc. The intensity has calmed a little (it's been a month now)
and he is still proving his feelings with actions and less with words, but I am still hungry
for him chasing me a little. I think I am just addicted to intensity.
Do you think that once guys decide they may have a future with a girl,
they ease up after the initial courting because they are plotting their lives together – i.e.
how am I going to support us, etc..?
I am trying to just flow and not create dramas just to have the intensity.
I want to continue playing my cards right. Can you suggest anything without much game playing ?
 My instinct is to date others to protect myself, but that is an old script I
want to rid myself of..help!

Passion Hungry Hannah

A.
This is the sort of thing that makes men consider us high maintenance. He's doing every thing
 correctly, but you still want more. We all love passion but that initial high one gets with
 a new partner can not last forever.
You can either keep dating new people to get that rush or find another way to get it like bungee
 jumping, roller blading , learning karate OR using your imagination and screwing your partner
 in forbidden places/situations.
Of course it won't be the exact kind of rush, but it will keep things exciting. You don't need
to play any cards or games to make him chase you more, just let him date you like he does and if
he is doing everything right, like you said, you may end up with a life long partner who may not
 be shooting fireworks out of his ass, but will be there for you and as time goes on, stability
becomes more attractive than constant passion.
You can save the drama part for the bedroom, like I said, and use your imagination to keep the rush alive.
 

 

My column, "Ask Dr. Dot"  can also be seen at:


  www.nyrock.com

and www.exberliner.com    

AND as of May 2008 in  Penthouse Forum 

 

Posted on

Bring “Ask Dr. Dot” back to the NY Press (hey, it’s worth a shot)

The NY Press is apparently regretting letting my sex column "Ask Dr. Dot" go this past September. How do I know? All of the bad press they are receiving about the hiring and firing of several sex columnists since mine was dropped. Hey, we all make mistakes. 

Please write to the editor of the NY Press (David Blum) that you would like to see my column back in their paper:

EDITORIAL@NYPRESS.COM

 

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot …… Jan. 9th 2007

Feel free to send me your questions. I never use anyone's real name, so don't be shy…

 

 

Q.
I am dating a college guy, who seems like a potential long-term partner. All of his friends
are married (which is a good sign) and when he invites me out on dates, it’s usually with
 a few other couples. Last time the husbands were very friendly to me and I got bitchy
vibes from the wives. I can’t help it if I am like one of the guys—I am fun. It’s been a
week since I heard from him and I sense it could be due to the ice storm from the wives—they
 may have scathed their husbands and him for having such a social girlfriend. I also told him
in a drunken moment that I am only interested in having fun and not looking for anything serious.
 How can I make things better? I don’t want to lose him.

—Skated on Thin Ice

A.

It’s great that he hangs with relationship minded couples and a good sign that he brings you
into his social circle. One on one dating is already nerve wracking but when you toss in a few
bitchy females and flirty males it becomes a complicated high school style Bitch-fest. Let him
contact you first, as nothing keeps a man away from a woman he adores, not even a challenging
 comment like “I don’t want anything serious.” When he does contact you (if he doesn’t,
it’s his loss) tell him you love being with him but are too shy for group dates. If he insists,
 agree but tell him you would prefer just drinks or just dinner and to look for your “lets leave”
 glance because you can’t wait to get him alone to suck his cock. Just be yourself and if the
ladies don’t like you, they will hopefully ban their husbands from dates that include you,
 saving you from being the complicated nag.

Q.
My new boyfriend leaves stuff behind every time he comes over to fuck me. He also leaves a mess
 in my kitchen. Everything else is perfect. How can I tame this cave man?

—Tidy Tess

 

A.
He is marking his territory, and if he is the only one you are dating/shagging, find a corner
or drawer for his left behind “markings” and if that is only bad thing he does is leave a mess
 in your kitchen, consider your self lucky, it’s not even worth mentioning. Let it slide and
save the bitching for important things like cheating, blatantly drooling over other women in
your presence or making you buy your own dinner/drinks.

 

 

Q.
I’m not sure how to handle this situation.  I am engaged to a woman who
used to have a 4 year relationship with another woman.  Everything
couldn’t be better with her accept I have a small concern which I have to
say does not affect how I feel about her I love her dearly.  I fully
satisfy her sexually, whether it be through intercourse, oral sex or a
good ol masturbation.  The intercourse is Great!!  She on the other hand
has given me maybe three blow jobs which she did not finish off, and one
hand job, during the span of almost 2 years. I don't want to sound like I
am complaining and being selfish.  That is furthest from the truth.  I
THINK I could live without those things it's just like missing out on a
bit of fun.  Now, we have agreed no intercourse until we are married which
is about three months away.  Again, I have satisfied her sexual hunger in
every other way, and she has not even put her hand on my member, so
needless to say, I am experiencing a bit of sexual frustration.  How do I
handle this other that coming right out with it.  "Why don't you suck my
dick!?"  I don't see that working to well.  I don't doubt her love for me
at all, I just think she may still be a bit repulsed with the thought of
putting my dick in her mouth or jerking me off.  How do I tactfully deal
with this?

Sincerely

Blue Balls

shagging is fun, but nothing beats oral pleasure

 

A.
You confuse me; you say "The intercourse is great" then you say "we
have agreed to no intercourse before marriage". Wtf? She was fucking you
but now suddenly, no sex (apart from you licking her out on a regular basis)
until you walk down aisle with her?
What we have here is a woman who doesn't appreciate your cock enough to do
to it what a cock loves the most, getting head. Asking "Why don't you suck my
dick?" is a perfect question, it hits the nail right on the head, but maybe you have to
rephrase it a bit. I have said this before, but maybe you missed it, just stop
going down on her and when she asks why, say "good question, I was going to
ask you the same thing, why the lack of oral sex?".
3 unfinished blow jobs in 4 years, now no hot beef injections until marriage
 and you STILL want to marry her? Her pussy must
be lined with velvet my friend. Be a man and speak up about your normal, healthy oral sex
craving and find out before you take the leap if you are in for a life time of
this one sided oral sex routine BULLSHIT. Sounds to me like you are settling. If you marry
her you may end up cheating to get your cock sucked elsewhere, so think hard about this,
you need to step up to the plate before it's too late.

Q.
 I'm dating this girl and last night on my way home from a business meeting and I drove by her
 house (it's on the way to my house from that part of town, I'm not a stalker) our subdivisions
 are close to each other. Anyway her long term ex-boyfriend was at her house. It was like 10 PM.
 That made me kinda nervous because I spoke to her an hour before that and she said she was in
bed and getting ready to go to sleep. So now I'm kinda bummed out. She called me a little while
ago this morning and she said she was tired and I asked her what time she went to sleep and she
said like 9 ish. I was trying to quiz her hoping that she wouldn't lie to me and didn't mention
that I drove by her house. I'm mostly bothered because I feel like she's lying to me. It doesn't
 bother me that she was hanging out, even though the ex bf thing makes me skeptical. 
How do I handle a situation like this?
You are my hero,
Pissed off Paul

 

A.

If she was in bed with him, sleeping, then she isn't a liar, just a two timing cunt. Heh heh.
No, seriously it could be she is just dating more than one guy.
Since you are only "dating" I would keep my options wide open, (pun intended) like she is, and
 instead of wasting energy on someone you now know you can't trust, take that energy and go out
and meet other girls. Is she really worth all the hassle?
If you DO decide to confront her, make sure it's in person, so you can see her face and watch for
 tell tale signs of lying (pathetic shocked look on red face; going into extreme details and
having your questions mainly answered with questions). Be prepared for her to say she is seeing
other men but there is still no excuse for her lying to you and if you tell her how you know, she
will think you have been stalking her. I would just move on and play the field, but if you do shag
her again, make sure you have condoms with you.

Q.
                       
I have made a foe par on quiet a large scale. I was on the phone to my girlfriend of 6 months,
 as the conversation came to the end I blurted out 'I love ya'… it wasn't even 'I love you’ but
 'ya' . She promptly squeaked and we both hung up! I feel like such a fuck face, it's such a
silly way to say those words for the first time, but it just happened.  It’s not the kind of
thing I say lightly at all; I really do feel it for her. I just thought when I told her if would
 be  a) a little bit later on b) in a much better way.
 My wonderful male intuition doesn't give me much of an idea if she feels the same, or how I can
 come back from this situation with my head held high. What’s the best course of action? WTF?

 
Terrible Call Terry

 

A.
Be grateful she didn't say it first, as that would be even more difficult. It would be best not
 to mention your slip up, just say it again the next time you two are doing the dirty. Rolling
 around on top of each other is a great atmosphere for professing one's love. If she doesn't
say it back but keeps dating you and everything else is fine, it could mean she is just the
type who takes her time with that. I know people who never say it and who could blame them?
 Actions are always more important than words in a relationship.

Q.
My wife reads you religiously and I need some help, I have a great wife who loves me to no
end and I have a relationship most would be jealous of, my problem is I am a porn junkie
dating back to before I knew her, She just found a bunch of adds that I printed from Craigslist.com,
 I never act on them or call any of the girls but I do email back and forth to them and she has
seen this. I love her with all my heart, we have a very active sex life 3-4 times a week and she
is always willing to experiment with me in the bedroom, we have been married for 18 years and I
am still very much attracted to her, I just don't know why I am so curious to go back to this site.
Why?!
Junk Junkie

Some images are hard to resist ^

 

A.
Because you're a man. You didn't mention her reaction. I think looking at porn is fine; communicating
with these girls from your past is rude to your wife. How would you like her keeping in touch with
 hot men from her past, just to be "friends"? Always turn the situation around and put yourself in
the other person's shoes. Watching is fine, actively keeping in touch while married is pushing the envelope.

Q.
I want to try talking dirty to my boyfriend, as I like it when a guy talks dirty to me in bed. We have
slept together a few times already and unfortunately, he hasn't even come close to dirty talk. He is 24
 and I am 21, and he is rather shy but great in bed. How do I introduce dirty talk in bed without
coming across as, well, a pushy, dirty whore.
Dirty Dana

Speaking your mind is refreshing ….

A.
Get him to mount you, doggy style, as there is less pressure when you are not eye to eye and say
 "fuck me harder", see his reaction, if he goes with it, then toss in a few other lines
like "my pussy LOVES you in there" etc, and hopefully after a few rounds of you being vocal, he will
 know it's safe to try it as well. You may have to ask him to talk dirty to you, as some men respect
 women so much that are hesitant to blurt out "you like that you dirty bitch?" to a girl. Say it
over drinks one night that it would really turn you on if he spoke dirty to you in bed, this will
 give him a chance to tell you if he likes it or not as asking him during sex may make him feel
obligated and/or cornered if he really doesn't like it.

 

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot December 21 2008 (Happy Birthday Frank Zappa :)

Q.

I have a question on etiquette for casual-sex pals. By "pals" I mean that the
only kind of interaction I have with this person is purely sexual (aside from
the pleasantries of "how are you" on the way in and "have a good day" on the way
out. Even though I'm sure to be equipped with the appropriate prophylactic, my
pal brings over condoms. He throws the four or five condoms on the floor near
where we're getting it on. If we happen to just use one condom, he's always sure
to grab the three or four unused condoms on the way out. Now, something about
that act seems almost rude. It's like when you bring over a cake or a bottle of
wine to Simeon's house for dinner: you don't take the leftovers home with you.
Do you think it's rude to take home the unused party favors, even if they're
condoms?
Condom Snob
  < Don't be a cheap bastard

A.
It is tacky to take the unused condoms with you. It's like saying "I will
definitely need these between now and the next time I will be in you, and I am
definitely too cheap to buy new ones for my new conquests." The only thing worse
would be for him to come empty handed and expect you to supply the condoms, then
take a few with him.
Aaah, the perks of casual sex.

Q.
Hi Dr. Dot,
Your column rocks!
I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year. I'm 45, she's 33, both in
great health. I came close to breaking up with her a few times within the
first four months, as she did not want to become intimate. She convinced me to
stay, and we've been having sex for several months now, and we're monogamous.
However, she's the least sexual person I've ever been with- she does not like
me to touch or kiss her vagina (even the lightest touch is met with "it hurts,
please don't touch down there"). She has a very methodical system of having
sex; first she masturbates to orgasm, and then allows me entry. This is the
only way she'll allow it. No oral either way, and not even any kissing. This
is barely acceptable to me, but the frequency which she allows (I want it
every day, she allows it once a week) is not acceptable at all. Also, she
never uses her tongue to kiss, keeps her mouth closed, and our kissing never
lasts more than a few seconds. When I bring any of this up, she says I a
m calling her an "ice princess", calling her frigid, which she gets very
defensive about. She claims there has never been any molestation in her past,
and that she's normal and I'm oversexed. I've had long-term, very sexual
relationships in the past without complaint, but I don't know how to handle
this, other than breaking it off. She's a wonderful girl and very much
marriage material, other than this issue.
Do you have any advice?
At Arms Length Larry
A.
You want it "every day"? Good luck finding someone who wants it every day for
ever and ever. Anything less than once a week is bullshit but every day could
turn into a chore. A dull routine.
In my opinion, you will have to leave her OR marry her and cheat to get your
fill. Imagine a whole life of no head, no French kissing etc.
*yawn*

Q.
I still live with my parents, even though I am 23. I am a very horny girl,
compared to my friends. I like to have random sex (always safe sex!) with men
I just met at a party or bar. I have fucked a few guys in public and it turns
me on more than in a bed. Any ideas or tips on how to make things run
smoother? I always end up getting disturbed when I jam out with my clam out.
Spanish Fly-girl

A.
Lead your prey into the ladies room and bring him into a stall. Lock the door
and in the doggy style position, have one hand on the flusher and one on back
of toilet. Every time someone
knocks or gets nosey, make really loud vomiting sounds, like you are puking
your guts out and flush periodically. This yakking sound usually sends people
running. If he can keep shagging you through all that, he is a keeper.
Construction sites, stair ways of hotels and malls are usually empty, just aim
for the top floor so there is no traffic. I still haven't joined the Mile High
club yet but I can imagine that would be the hottest, riskiest place ever.

Q.
I am a flaming gay, hot 20 year old guy. I live in an area that is plagued by
straight college guys, which make me Horney but confused. How do I tell if
they can be swayed to take a walk on the wild side? I don't want to get
punched out but I have to get laid or my blue balls will start dragging on the
fucking ground. Send help fast.
Dainty Danny


 
A.
Eye contact has got to be the best way to tell if a guy likes to pack
chocolate or not. When you gaze into their eyes and they get pissed off,
bingo, not gay. Posting ad's online will save you time as well as telling
waiters who you KNOW are gay that you are going home to have a pull should get
you laid in no time. Embrace your sexuality, if you are gay, let it be known
and word will get out and hopefully the guys who are curious or also queer
will gravitate towards you. Straight guys know that buying lots of drinks for
their date increases their chances of getting in there, so why not try it on
yours?

Q.
How can I tell if a guy has a big dick? Gawking at their hands and feet has
let me down in the past.
Desperately Seeking Big Dick

  < Big Nose; Big hose

"Wie die Nase des Mannes, so sein Johannes; An der Nase des Mannes erkennt man seinen Johannes"

A.
The Germans say you can tell by how big/small the man’s nose is. If you have a
chance, just make out with them, clothes on, just bumping, grinding, feeling
around. If he doesn’t measure up to your cock standard, stop kissing and tell
him “I am sorry, we are moving too fast” and politely end the date/face
sucking session and move on. My girlfriends and I have concluded that most men
with giant dicks are usually GIANT DICKS. Sadly.

Q.

Here's my story
I’m 32 and find myself in my first relationship ever – I’ve never felt too comfortable,
 nor turned on, by sex….and now I have a boyfriend that I like but I am not turned on
when we have sex…and needless to say, I do not cum….I’m somewhat self-conscious
 when it comes to broaching this up with him, but I would like to enjoy sex with him but
 am not sure if this is possible-how do I find out what turns me on (and no, I
do not have an active imagination.I’ve tried.I do not even care to masturbate.
waiting and Wanting

^ Don't wait, Masturbate

A.
If you are on the birth control pill, overweight or depressed, that could be the reason
for your lack of sex drive. If none of those apply,
it could be that you are just not a sexual person, in this case, my
heart goes out to you.
Just like a smoker can't quit unless he wants to, a non sexual person can't cum
 unless they want to. Only you can an swer that question.
You are right not to tell him your dilemma, as no man wants to hear that their
 Girlfriend doesn't like to fuck. However, if you are screwing and
there is a spot that you want to him rub/lick/reach, then make sure you tell him.
 Communication is the key to good sex. Maybe you don't like to masturbate because
you haven't done it correctly. Soooo, start practicing asap.

Q.
I am finally single again after 6 long years of HELL with my ex girlfriend who loathed sex.
Now I am dating a married mother of 2, yes, I know I'm a mother fucker. She said she will never
leave her rich but boring husband but loves to fuck me. Problem is, she is super jealous. She
has been bitching about my female friends and even trying to read my text messages etc.
I find the attention flattering as my ex didn't give a shit but I am starting to feel smothered.
How can I improve this otherwise perfect set up?
Backdoor Man
A.
The best way to stop jealousy is to stop it right away. Show your new partner their boundaries as soon
as they start to over step them. Telling a woman "I find jealous very unattractive; a complete
TURN OFF!". This should end it, if not she is stubborn or dumb, both traits are worse than jealousy.
Remind her gently that she is sleeping with another man every night, then kiss her to shut her up.

Q.
Is it bad to not really wanna date guys with no money anymore?  Been there done that, the whole
 broke guy thing, and I just feel like I am going backwards when I start dating guys with little
funds. I am not superficial like it sounds, and I know guys with bucks can be dicks, too.
Anyway, I have a lot of guys asking me out these days, but none that really really have their
shit together, and I feel that going out with them is a waste of time since I know that I really
don't want them.  I would rather be alone honestly than do a sympathy date or fuck. And I don't
think I am shutting myself out to some great guys because I dated so many from all over the world
that I feel my weeding out factor is strong now. I just wonder if now my standards are ridiculous.
high, that is.

Classy Kate

A.
Men leave their old wives for young, fertile women all the time. Men stare at young, perky tits on a
daily basis, not only because they look gorgeous, but because it's natures way of drawing them to a
fertile partner. The same goes for women being drawn to strong, secure men, which used to be just
a muscular thing centuries ago, but now, a bank account has replaced the muscle attraction for most
women. Just like animals, the female chooses the most eligible partner to breed with, so do modern
ladies. It doesn't mean they are gold digger's, it means they are looking for a secure man to have
kids with and/or to settle down with. Making sure he can take care of you and your possible offspring
is normal. Some men actually respect and yearn for a woman who expects a lot from them. It somehow
motivates them,it challenges them and most men LOVE a challenge! (Sports, wars, competitions, gambling).
Nothing wrong in falling for a man who can also support you. "Would you walk away from a fool and his money?”

Q.

Please forgive my English, I am French. For four months, I lived with my girlfriend and
 her 4-year-old daughter. My girlfriend is always stressed … I did everything possible
 to help her; I take good care of the child. She moved in with me because she lived in
a far away town. Since she moved in, she seems always under stress and the result is
that she is angry for no reason and talks to me like crap. Plus, she is always so tired
and we have sex only two to four times a month (at the beginning it was a least everyday,
 sometimes twice a day)! The point is, when we do, sex is always very wild and good.
I love sex, maybe too much, and I feel I don't have enough. The more I ask my girlfriend,
 the less I have. She tells me it’s not about me, that it’s only because her work is
 bothering her, that she is not used to the stress of living in a big city, plus the
fact that my flat is too small (one room for the two of us plus her daughter). I can
understand her reasons, but the point is I really feel like starving for sex.

—Crazy Horse

A.
Now you know why I frown upon living with a lover. If you love sex, don’t live together.
 I know, it’s too late and most folks aim for it their whole life, but that is my personal
 opinion. If you have to live with someone, having your own room could keep things hot,
 so save up and get a bigger place—it will be worth every penny if you are getting your
leg over more often. Now, moving onto your cold shrew. She may be drinking too much coffee,
 this makes everyone stress out! Try to buy some decaffeinated coffee and sneak it into
her real coffee without her knowing. Also, massage her feet every night, each foot 10
minutes or more. Then her legs and back, this should make her want sex, maybe even ask
you for it. Candlelit massage and a glass of red wine and some cow-tongue oral sex should
bring on the taming of the shrew.

Happy Holidays,

Love Dr. Dot

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot (the Bitch is back)


Q.
I can not sleep with another person. I don't mean sexually, I mean literally. I can not
sleep next to another person (just my cat) This has offended many women. Can this be corrected?
Lester the Loner

 

A.
Funny you mention that, as I have the same problem. I can't even sleep in the same room
as another person. You are not alone. In fact, I think it stems from being a light sleeper
and/or fear of intimacy. Face it, when you sleep next to someone, it becomes a habit. It
can make you dependent on that person when you equate them with sleep. For me it is more
intimate than sex. It could also be just not wanting to hear another person scratching,
tossing and tossing off, farting and snoring all through the night. There is nothing wrong
with you. Just explain to them sleep is a very personal thing for you, and since your mind
is so busy working on saving the world, it is hard for you to turn it off and any distraction
at all will disrupt your badly needed rest. If you are shagging your partner properly, they
shouldn't mind where, when or how you sleep, as they will be too tired to give a shit.

Q.
I hate to use condoms, my cock goes limp when I put one on. I prefer to pull out right before I
cum, by how can I convince my new girlfriend to waiver the condom rule?
Raincoat dodger


 

A.
It is not her fault if you can't stay hard enough for a condom, so it's ignorant and rude to try to
make her screw you without one so you can get your rocks off. If she prefers safe sex, respect her for
that. Now about that pull out myth….
Pre-cum, which is that clear liquid that seeps out of your dick during foreplay and intercourse
has loads of sperm in it too. There is a high chance of some sperm left in the urethra mixing with
the new precum Even before you cum which can get her pregnant. You are playing with
fire if you screw without a condom on. An expensive, dangerous fire. Only if you are in a monogamous
Relationship for a long time, where you both had time to be tested for nasty diseases, you
trust each other, AND if she is taking birth control, should you have sex without one. This "pulling
out" method is a good idea, but is about as dependable as a wet paper bag.

Q.
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year now and the sex was great, and
now the past 2 months my boyfriend cums in about 3 min. He used to be able to
last awhile. Why does he get off so fast?
Ms. Loveme  Longtime

 

A.
He is getting lazy and selfish.
Time to rock the boat. Make him lick you until you cum, and then he can enjoy his
3 minutes. Tell him you are getting bored with the quickies. Men like a girl who
can speak up and says what she wants, especially in bed.

< comfort zone

Q.
I am facing a dilemma I have no clue how to handle, and it’s getting
quite frustrating. This is what's going on:
I am completely in love with my girlfriend. Though we have only been together
for a year, we spend every day together, and I would love to do so for the rest
of my life. I am in no way unsure of my emotional feelings toward her, but I
have another problem.
I don't know why, but I have always been very interested in sodomy. I don't know
why, it's not a conscious decision.
She has given me head a few times, though she has only done it until I came on
two separate occasions. One time she swallowed, and the other time she didn't. I
know how other people's sex lives are often void of oral, so I don't see myself
as incredibly unfortunate, but there's one thing that tips the scales, and that
is that I frequently go down on her. It'll usually happen about 3-4 times a
week, if not more, and it’s not very rare for twice in a day.
Don't get me wrong, I love doing it, and I am very good at it, as she comes
every time. But I feel like our sex life is very one sided. I've tried talking
to her about it, but all I get are answers like, "I just don't feel like it" or
"Do we have to do it all the time for our sex life to be good?" (I don't
understand how that last one even applies though, because she's getting some
practically every night.) I don't know how to stress this point well enough to
her, without seeming like a sex hungry jerk. I also suffer from the fact that I
was in a different relationship about two years ago, and that girl gave me head
all the time, (almost nightly) and we did anal once. (That's when I got my thing
for it.)
I guess my question is what makes you enjoy giving head? I love giving her head,
and I've asked her once, maybe twice, if she liked doing so to me, and all I get
is an "I don't mind." I feel very unsatisfied, and seeing as I please her with
my tongue on an almost nightly basis, I feel she should do the same.
I do not want a "Doing it because I have to" blowing though. That sounds
horrible.
Hungry for Head


A.
First of all, stop eating her out. When she asks why you stopped, tell her "I
don't feel like it" or "do I have to in order for our sex life to be good?"
She should get the fucking message loud and clear. She is selfish and spoiled by
your eager mouth.
I really think you want anal sex because it reminds you so much of your ex who
satisfied your oral cravings, like a good girlfriend should.
Look what happened to Bill Clinton when he wasn't getting head from Hilary. Stop
giving and you will start receiving.
It is clear you are more into her, then she is into you. She is obviously into
sex, as she lets you lick her clean every night, so it just boils down to her
being selfish and just not into your cock like she should be.

ps. Maybe you and "Loveme Longtime" should get together 

Q.

If a girl swallows for you does it mean something? I mean
do women swallow on one nighters? What does it signify?

Delighted but scared

A.
It means you hit the Jack Pot. Some may scoff and label such a willing
creature to be too promiscuous; down right slutty. Then again, it takes
two to tango; two to be naughty enough to give it up on the first “date”.
 When a woman swallows you, it means she accepts you completely;
she REALLY likes you. She’s a keeper 😉
 


Feel free to send me your questions. I never use a person's real name, so fire away:

drdot@drdot.com 

x

Dr. Dot 

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot October 28 2007

Q.
I'm married to the hottest chick ever. We have two awesome young kids, a great apt.
 good jobs and are 100% faithful to each other in mind and body. However she is literally
 addicted to "mom" chat rooms, "Myspace" and the computer in general. Subsequently our
 sex life has all but disappeared.
 
Before the computer came along we had vibrant, frequent, imaginative and mutually fulfilling sex.
 
These days I'm lucky if we have sex once a month. When we do, it is under the covers, lights
off and late at night.  I come home with flowers, wine, cook diner and get the kids to sleep.
 Is she waiting for me in the bedroom in a black lacy garter belt, thigh high fishnets, half
cup bra and spiked leather collar like she used to?
  No. She is not. Instead she says, "Don't pressure me to go to bed! I'm on the computer right now!
" I am frustrated, hurt and miserable. How do I get my wife off the computer and back into the bedroom?
 
Desperate for the solution,
 
Cuckolded by the computer.

A.
Having children usually does dampen the sex life of most couples. It's not them that do it, but
the task of being parents that sadly lets sex fall low on the list of priorities. Kids should and
do come first for most mothers but this chat room shit has got to stop. I got bored just reading
about it. Thing is, if you are making a decent salary, it may be worth it to stop buying flowers
and wine and invest in a part time, trust worthy nanny to help with the mundane chores which would
 then give your wife more free time to tend to the kids, work out, buy sexy panties, etc.
You could maybe bargain with her and tell her you are willing to trade (nanny for her, more time
 and sex for you both).
You may have to write her a romantic note and tell her you are sad that she gives people she has
 never met (and will probably never meet) her undivided attention. The net is a double edged sword.
 It helps so many people but yet kills so many marriages and sex lives. You really have to speak up
 and tell her sweetly you feel neglected and miss her. If telling her nicely doesn't work, unplug
the PC and wisk her away in your arms to bed, even if she's throwing a tantrum, she has to see
 the light or lose a good man.

Q.
I was thinking about an advice column you wrote a few weeks ago about internet relationships…
 I have been involved (business & friendship) with a girl in Belgium for a long time. However,
 we grew closer & closer.  I admit to letting my dick do the thinking instead of my brain, but
 I finally came to the conclusion to break this entire thing off.
She's a married woman who has no problem cheating on her husband with me (someone she's never met in person.).
 Because of that I feel I cannot trust her. If she'll lie & cheat on someone she's been married to for
 YEARS and has a child with, why wouldn't she fuck me over too?

Am I wrong here? I will miss her friendship so I am sad. but I think I’m doing the right thing by
getting out of this shitstorm of emotions and focusing on the REAL people I can look in the eye.
It was your column that opened my eyes to the situation, and no matter how much it hurts now,
I do think it's the right thing. I just want a non bias opinion. After all, you're the doctor…

 Wide awake Wade


A.
You hit the nail on the head. Even though it’s almost normal in Europe to have affairs, the fact you
already can’t trust her is a giant red flag and what if you don’t even click when you meet? 
Use your new found free time to meet local ladies instead. All the smoke and mirrors one can hide behind
online can be very misleading and disappointing. Love never comes with insurance but that situation
sounded way too risky.

Q.
When I think about proposing to my lady I feel tears approaching; is it ok to cry in front of your woman?
I have given her 4
years of strength; if I show emotion will she think less of me?

Mr. Softie

A.
It’s normal to leak tears in such special moments, such
as proposals, the birth of your first child or when you both
cum at the same time, you know, big moments, don’t sweat it, just do it.

Q.
Is it true that if someone sucks on my boobs for a few weeks that I will produce milk?
 
Busty Britney
 
A.
Even if you’re not pregnant, when the breast are sucked on a few times a day for a few weeks,
they will make milk. The suction makes the body think there must be a baby around and it produces milk.
You would have to find someone to suck on your tits at least 3 times a day and for 20 minutes each time
in order for that to work. In the past, some women went through this to wet nurse. Certain female
aristocrats who didn't want to breast feed would hire a wet nurse (a woman to nurse their baby).
Sometimes the wet nurse had a baby of her own, but it wasn’t necessary.  Some men go nuts over
lactating breasts, so if you have the time and a willing feeder, it can be a sexy (but tedious) adventure.

 

Q.
My boyfriend says I need to learn how to give better head. It hurts my neck, so I never do it for long. It's not like I can take a class
or something. Any tips for me?

Eager Ester

A.

Make him sit on the corner of a bed. You kneel down on your knees (this will
prevent your neck form hurting).
Take his cock into your hand (your best hand, if you are left handed, use your
left hand, if you are right handed, use your right hand).
Hold his cock very firm, imagine the whole time how it feels for his cock.
Just like us girls like a big fat cock, men like a small, tight, wet, pussy.
Suck on the tip of the cock and at the same time, use your hand to hold it
tightly but move it like he is fucking a pussy, you know, stroke it , He
should only notice that you have it in your mouth, he should not see or notice
the hand much. Keep it wet so your hand slides nicely while you keep the head
of the cock in your mouth. Your mouth and hand should work together, the same
pace, the same direction, the same stroke. Ask him once, "does this feel good
baby?" and if he says yes, KEEP doing it, until he cums and when he cums,
don't miss a beat, let him cum in your mouth, and store some of cum in your
cheeks like a hamster does food, and swallow a tiny bit at a time so you dont
choke. He will be happy that you swallow his cum!
and try to look him in the eyes once in a while when you blow him, this makes
him know that you accept him, which is VERY important for a guy.
Act like you LOVE to suck his cock, that you can't get enough of blowing him
and he will go crazy over you!!
Make sure you blow him for a little bit, and say "is this how you want to cum
later? In my mouth?". Then fuck him or make him eat you, and make you cum,
THEN blow him again until he cums, he will be yours forever.

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot ( Buy her new boobs?/ Catching up on the Pill & Groupie love)

This is my syndicated Sex Column. Feel free to write me with any problems you may be having and no need to be shy, I always change the person's names around.

x

 

Q.
How can I politely hint to my girlfriend that I want to buy her a new pair of tits for her Birthday?
 Hers are nice but less than a handful. I love her but need more Breasts.
Tittie Man Stan

 


A.
She will either be offended (imagine she bought you a penis extension because your knob wasn’t big enough for
 her) OR she will let you buy them and get turned on by all that extra attention she is suddenly getting from men
(her confidence may soar) and she may want to try them out on those other, adoring men, who also love her new
 implants. Unless your girl asks you for them, it’s probably better just to enjoy what she has and use your
imagination. Don’t fix what isn’t broken.


Q.
I am probably too young to be reading your column (I am a 15 year old girl) but I learn a lot from you and education
 is never a bad thing. I am on the pill and sometimes I forget to take one. I have a steady boyfriend and yes,
 we do screw very often. My question is, what if I sleep over his house and forget a pill or two, can I make it
 up by taking them when I get home? I don’t want to get pregnant; my Dad would kill both of us.
Little Suzy

c


A.
No, you can not make up for forgotten pills. If you take two at once, you will throw up violently (well, it may take 3
to make you blow chunks). You just have to be religious about taking them. Take one every morning you wake and if you miss a day, take it the next morning you can. The only way to avoid getting knocked up is by using condoms or not fucking at all. If you missed a day or two, put a rubber on him to be extra safe. If he whines about the condom (like most guys do) tell him it’s sexier to wear a condom than to be changing diapers.


Q.
I have fallen for probably one of the most unavailable men on the planet and can't get myself unhooked. I keep showing up at his gigs, as he is a hot Brooklyn rocker dude, he keeps coming home with me, or in the past, me to his, and we have sex – which is OK. And then he leaves a few hours later. The sex has been increasingly more like 'meat and potatoes' mainly because I think he does not want me to get too attached to him and fall in love. He never takes me out on a date – we only have sex after his gigs, I am a 38 year old groupie to a 40+ rocker. Why do I do this? Because I love the warmth he creates at his shows, because I think he is a brilliant writer and I am in love with his voice and have found so much music I like through him.
 This has been going on and off for a year and a half. I don't want to marry him – just have some sort of passionate breakthrough -how can I make him feel something and show it?
 -Groupie Love


A.
First of all, if you fall for unavailable men, you may subconsciously feel you don’t deserve to be loved. Dig deep, find out why and fix it.
I am totally against trying to convince a man to like you. The men either love you, or they don't. I have also been in your shoes, and it doesn't feel good, it feels like you are number 2, or maybe even number 3 and that is not good for one's self esteem.
You are settling for tiny scraps of affection he tosses your way when it's convenient for him.
It may go on like that forever, or until you demand more.
Dating a pop/rock star is never easy (look at Jerry Hall, Pam Anderson, Heather Locklear).
If the man isn't head over heels for you by now, he never will be.
I am sorry if you were expecting tips on how to convince him to love you, but I have to speak my mind. Great blow jobs do keep a man happy,
 but you should only do that if you like to do it, not to convince a guy you are the one for him.
Successful and famous men are used to having women fall at their feet and do whatever they want, whenever they want, so they usually end up
falling for a women who doesn't give a fuck about their fame or fortune, one that acts indifferent; one who is a challenge. All men LOVE a challenge and face it, you aren't one for him. You are his booty call, and maybe not his only booty call.
Shake things up a bit by not being available for the monthly meat & potatoes. Maybe it would heat things up if you went to one of his shows with a hot male "friend" to finally see if he gives a shit or not. I totally understand the groupie love; the hero worship; I would probably do the same for Paul McCartney, but then again, I would pretend to not really care about who he is, like Heather did when she met him (yeah, right, an English girl who doesn’t know who the Beatles are). Only difference would be I wouldn't fuck it up like she did.

 

 Q.
My wife got pregnant last summer and she miscarried about six weeks into the pregnancy.

She thinks it happened because we had sex right before she lost the baby. The sex was a

little rough, but everything I've ever heard is that there's

 no way having sex can cause a miscarriage. There's many other factors that could have

caused it, and she knows it. For one thing she smokes, even when she's pregnant.

She's pregnant again, and she's afraid to have sex,

fearing it could cause her to lose this one too, yet she's still smoking as much as ever.

I just don't understand this. Doctors have told her, smoking is not good for the baby,

having sex will not hurt the baby. Yet she's more focused on giving up sex rather than her smokes.

How can I convince her that it's okay to have sex, but put it gently that maybe the smoking has

been the problem the whole time?

 

Future daddy–or not?

A.

Sex will not cause a miscarriage. Smoking will. Smoking increases the risk

of losing a genetically normal baby. Women who smoke more than

14 cigarettes a day are about twice as likely to miscarry.

The risk of miscarriage increases with the number of cigarettes a woman smokes.

Women who smoke during pregnancy are ignorant and selfish.

Go online with her and surf, there are endless articles that prove sex is FINE

during pregnancy, and smoking is can be deadly. I feel for you buddy, I really do.

 

 

Q.

I wank nearly every day so I am worried would I run out off cum, so how many

times can we cum?

Young, Dumb and hopefully, full of cum

A.

Lucky for you, you are a never ending fountain of spunk. Your balls produce about

about 300 million sperm every time you cum; they start brewing a new

batch as soon as you shoot your wad. It's impossible to run out of sperm.

In fact, the more often a man cums, the more sperm he produces, which explains why

Men never use up all their sperm. Wank away my friend.

Q.
I am in a tough situation and bet you can help. I was friends with this guy long ago,
and he got married and I became best friends with his wife. In fact, I get along with
her much better than I ever did him. Before I became such great friends with her, he used
to ask me to let him use my apartment to screw other girls. As time passed, this stopped
because he noticed that his wife and I were best buddies. Now it bothers me badly not to
tell her the truth that I know he cheats on her. He doesn't treat her well anyways and I
just wish I could tell her he is not worth the stress he puts her through. I am afraid but
something inside me tells me she has to know. Do I tell her or not?
Stuck with the Truth


A.
Would YOU want to know if your man was cheating? Even though the truth will set you free,
it may well turn you into the enemy. The messenger usually gets shot. Some people are so
in love that they don't want to believe the truth, even if you had photographs of him
cheating, she may find a way to deny it; to defend him. She may end up thinking of you
as the one trying to break up her marriage. What would you gain? Nothing. If she is meant
to find out that her husband is a lair, and then she will. What will be, will be. If she finds
out and knows you knew all along and asks why you didn’t tell her, blame it on me.

Posted on

The NY Press passes the buck

Getting ready to have my tonsil operation. They will be removed Tuesday morning, bright and early ( I will probably just stay up as I have to be there at 6am).

The fact that the NY Press dumped a few of it's writers, me and Ed Koch (former NYC mayor) included because of their new format isn't as annoying as the fact that they probably knew ahead of time, like end of July that they would be dumping my column as that is why they didn't bother to pay me for all 4 of my August columns or the first week of September's column. For all 5 weeks, my column was printed but yet they won't pay. They are passing the buck. The new editor David Blum changes his story all the time. First excuse was "it will just take longer, but you will get paid". Then it was "It is not my responsibility" then he told the New York Post reporter Keith Kelly that I was already paid and that he is "only in charge since 1 August" (DUH, that means he should pay me for August and Sept, no? WTF!??). The New York Press is simply passing the buck.

 

LAWYER TIME. 

Jerry Portwood, the old editor, well, he is still there, but was demoted as now David Blum is the big cheese, claims it is the new editors responsibility. The paper simply disrespects it's writers; always has, always will. For the couple years I wrote for them, my column was ALWAYS punctual, yet my pay was always late. Always. They conveniently paid one month late and yet let me know one week before my column was dumped so you can imagine, I will never get paid. It's not the amount that bothers me, it is the principle that big corporations like Manhattan Media (which bought the paper recently ) can shit on the little people and get away with it.

The Libra in me is into justice and I can see it will take a while until Justice is served. I will keep you posted. Of course emails to David Blum and Jerry Portwood wouldn't hurt either. heh heh..

"Let it go" some say. Just let it go. Let the German guy who chased me (stalked me) and knocked me out in January get away with it, let the NY Press get away with having 5 weeks of my great sex column for free. Let everyone just go ahead and take advantage. Nice people get walked on, like a fucking rug. Karma is taking a break I see. Hope she gets back soon and kicks some serious ass. 

Jasmine is in Italy now, studying Italian. She loves it there. I will visit her in October.. she said where she is, is like the Kreuzberg of Italy. Hippies galore. Dread locks galore. Cross yer fingers she is safe over there, my little flower.

ttyl

x

 

 

Britney Spears finally explains ^ her less than excellent performance at the MTV "music" awards last week

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot lives on

 
Q.

Why do most men pull away after sex and seem so disconnected?

Brown Sugar

 

A.

Men are not wired like women are. A very sarcastic but realistic way to get straight to
the point: "Men cuddle to Fuck and Women fuck to cuddle". You simply can not take this
personally. In fact, I found that the more apathetic I am after sex, the more the male
wants to cuddle. They feel SO intimate and out of control when they have sex that they
have to reestablish their Independence by pulling away, it usually happens subconsciously,
they aren't even aware that they are acting slightly selfish. I think cuddling is over
rated anyways; once you are both finished with sex, give each other some freakin' space to
breathe… Girls get energy, men basically slip into an after sex coma, they want to savor
the orgasm and talking or cuddling can be distracting. Let them pull away, they will come
to you when they need/want to, let them lead, there is no point making an issue out of it.
use this time (when he is busy on cloud nine) to go wash your naughty parts or get a glass
of water/wine etc..Don't stress, just let things flow and understand, that is how men behave
after sex..

Q.

There is this guy that I’ve been friends with for about 6 months. we are very
close and talk to each other almost every day, go out for lunch often and
travel together. He’s in the music business but not in a band. He’s a really
good guy and I've fallen for him, even though  I didn’t find him initially
attractive. He says he cares for me and would do anything for me – even
offered me money when I was short on bills – I declined the offer. Basically,
takes very good care of me. One BIG problem – he's married. Now, nothing
physical has happened between us, as I have too much respect for him to ruin
his life. I don’t think his wife knows that I even exist – but I have
tremendous guilt about being so close with a married man. it's easy for most
people to say, then back off – but every time I have I miss him tremendously
and he calls from wherever he happens to be (even if it's Japan) to see where
I’ve been and if I’m ok. I know nothing about his relationship with his wife –
not even her name. although he talks about the rest of his family. there are
no children. Having been married, I know that he should not be keeping me as a
close friend and if I were his wife I would not want him around me. But, I
have kept it at arms length and even when we are drinking nothing has
happened. He has said on more than one occasion, "if he weren't married . ."
I guess what I’m looking for is advice on if I’m doing something wrong here.
He is always the one to contact me – I never call him – when I need to ask
him something I’ll send him a text or email – he calls me back or for no reason
at all. Ok – I’m done babbling

– give it to me!

Ramble-on Rose

 

A.

When someone takes the big plunge, as in, standing in front of a crowd saying
“I do” and “till death do us part” they should lie in the bed they’ve made. You feel
guilty because you know it’s not cool. Men are the gas and women are the breaks.
Also, the more time you spend with a taken man, the less time you have to meet
and get closer to a single man.
A LOT of married men say "if I weren't married" and "I will leave her soon" etc..
it's usually fucking bullshit. They give their best to the mistress and the wife
gets the tired fucking left-overs. I am not prude at all, just have seen WAY too
many girlfriends get hurt from married men and vice versa.

Why even bother hanging with a taken man? It will only lead to no good and if he
did leave his wife for you, you could never trust him; he could very well be taking
 care of some other single woman, paying her bills and checking in on her etc.

If he is in the nurturing mood, he should have a child. If he doesn't like his marriage,
 he should leave his wife, but not in the cowardly way (for another) he should end it,
 wait a while, then try for you.  This is yet another reason why I frown upon marriage.
 It’s old fashioned and it seems the pressure of marriage is what makes people want to
stray. There are millions of single men, why waste time on a taken one?

Q.
Dear Dr. Dot,
I’m currently seeing this girl, and it’s going very well. She seems to like
me very much and the sex is great. But I’m used to more sexually adventurous
partners, and while I’m not bothered by the fact that she isn’t as
experimental as my usual type, there is one thing I wish she’d change- she
doesn’t swallow.
She dodges my cum whenever I finish anywhere outside of her (we are protected)
and often runs to the sink to spit it out if it’s in her mouth. I know she’s
happy when I do cum (and she cums frequently), but I just wish she would play
with my cum a little, feel it on her skin or taste it or something, anything
(I’ve been told by previous partners that I taste nice). How can I bring this
up without seeming needy or fetishistic?
-Needy Ejaculating Dude.


A.
I know many women who don't like to give head let alone swallow
a guys tide. Sometimes it's not the taste that makes a girl run
for the sink, it's the thought of doing it, texture and/or amount of spunk
she gets in her mouth. Are you a chunky style man? This will make most
girls gag. If not, it could be she was brought up thinking it's disgusting to
swallow or just plain find it unhygienic.
As with all things, communication is important, you
have to hint around to her like "it would turn me on if you let me cum
onto your tits" or "rub my juice all over your face ok sweetie?" Tell her it’s
good for her skin, which is true BUT make sure you don’t get any of your spunk
in her eyes! It stings like hell, makes the eye swell up and it will stay
blood red for hours. If after you ask her to do it and she still resists, you
may have to soothe yourself with the fact that you are at least getting oral
sex on a regular basis. Not
everyone can say that.

Q.

 I was wondering if you could tell me where the line is between

charming persistence and creepy stalking. It sounds corny, but I’ve got a

crush on a girl, and I don't want to ease so much that she falls for someone

else, but I also don't want her to get a restraining order against me; not that

I’ve done anything to merit one. My problem is I have plenty of confidence,

which I've been told is the most important thing, but my form is – how sh ould I

put this – potentially intimidating.

 At 6 feet tall and 255 lbs., with growing out damn near every hole in me,

I've been told by people who know me that to people who don't, I look like a

crazy mountain man. Of course, almost all of their suggestions include the words

"scissors", "contact lenses", and "American Eagle"; or something to that effect.

I am very fond of my mane, and the ancestry that it comes from, and see no

reason why I should have shave down and spend half my paycheck on my

 wardrobe? To make a long story short (too late, I know), I need to know if there

is indeed a line between persistence and stalking, and how to identify it. I

would imagine it's different for every woman, and if so, is that an indication

of what type of woman she is? I would greatly appreciate your input on the

situation as a woman, as listening to my male friends has led to nothing.

 

willing to learn,

Mountain Man

 

p.s.: if you could, please use my question in your column. I’m sure there

lonely souls out there, both male and female, who are lonely as well; simply for

lack of knowing where the line is drawn.

 

 

A.

Try to tune into her actions and tone of voice when you talk to her:

Does she sound happy to hear from you when you call or say hello?

Does she smile and look into your eyes? Does she tell you when she is free?

It REALLY helps if you tune into a girl's signs. If we don't like a guy, we

find excuses to avoid meeting up with them and we turn off (not smiling, ending

each conversation as fast as possible). Ask her out for lunch or to a movie, if she

says yes, she doesn't hate you. Also, never call a girl everyday, as this may

either bore her or make her too secure. Keep her on her toes by quality not

quantity communication.

Things that are NOT a good idea are (a) showing up at her home or work place unannounced-

and I mean NEVR do this, even if you are dating for a long time. It's still called

STALKING and is the biggest, creepiest turn off! (b) Book a vacation for two without

asking her. These kind of surprises are too pushy and in my eyes, a sign that you are in

for more controlling behavior, even if it is disguised as a generous gesture.

 Just because you are a big hairy oaf, doesn't mean girls

won't fall for you. A lot of women love big, hairy men. They want the opposite

of themselves, someone big and warm to protect them. Yoko Ono sang it best "every
man has a woman who loves him". Chin up and keep trying.

x

Q.

 
I just broke up with my boyfriend a little over a week a go, and I did agree to

be friends. Problem is, he does not seem to get that we have broken up. He still

calls me more then 10 times a day, still calls me pet names, and still thinks we

can go out on random dates. Recently I planned on going out on a date with

someone new. He didn't seem to get that I didn't need his help with the new guy.

He just kept calling that whole day asking if I needed help getting to where I

was meeting the new guy. He just doesn't get it. He still even says he loves me

and goes in between saying 'I want you back' and 'if you want to move on, don't

let me stop you.' What do I do about the clingy psycho?

 Another problem, I'm interested in a guy that is in my lab. Can't quite tell if

he reciprocates the feeling. What are the normal signs you males give off? What

can I say? I'm bi and mainly spend my time girl watching. Not seeing of a guy

likes me back.

 

Beautiful Bi Bitch

 

  

A.

 
I am curious as to why you ended it with your ex. This would help

me help you. It is normal after a break up that one still holds on, so his behavior

isn't really psycho, he just can't seem to let go as easy as you can.

You must be able to see his number on your phone when he calls, so stop

answering his calls if you REALLY want him to stop calling! You are not doing him
any favors; you are merely making him suffer as he wants more than friendship and you don't.

You have to tell him the truth. If you want him out of your life, tell him you want
a change and you need time alone to think. Even if you think there is a slight chance of
 you two getting back together, tell him you need time to think. You need space and time.
 Take advantage of the Caller ID on your phone and stop answering him.

About the guy in your lab. If you can't tell he likes you, it isn't even worth

your time. Men let the ladies know when they are interested. It's not the female’s job
 to drag it out of him. Men pursue, women are pursued.  Naturally this doesn’t apply to
 gays/lesbians/bi’s. But if it’s a heterosexual man you want, let him lead, for the best results.

Q.
Is it safe to cum inside my pregnant wife? I don’t want to make her have twins or cause any harm.
I hate condoms and I am too horney to wait until it comes out.
Freaked out Frank
 
A.
You are either too naive or dumb to be procreating anyways, but I will answer you to calm your nerves.
 No, it won’t harm the baby (unless you fuck around with other women without a condom and drag some nasty
 disease home to your wife). And you can’t get pregnant women pregnant again.    

* Send all your questions to me, I will change your name to save your sorry ass from embarrassment

x