Ask Dr. Dot June 2010 ( Sex, Love and Relationship advice)

Please feel free to send me your questions, I always change the names around, so your secret is safe with me: drdot@drdot.com 

 

 


Q.


I think I am experiencing the 7-year itch 4 years too soon. I feel like this happens to me in every long-term
relationship I’ve been in! At about 2 yrs into I’m just not that attracted to the guy as much, but the love is still very much there. I couldn’t imagine my life without him, but my sex drive is almost nonexistent these days!
I just don't understand. He is the most attractive man to me that I have been with; I love his body and our sex is amazing! In fact, I never had an orgasm until we had sex when I was 20! So, I knew he was the one for me.
But, now I’m just not interested. I never take it like I use to. Am I depressed? I just don't get it. Does this mean the relationship has run its course? I know I haven’t been happy at my day job and I have been thinking about just quitting to purse my modeling career.
It's just risky making a career move, you know? I have a lot on my plate so I have been hoping my lack of sex drive is because I am a workaholic. But, that’s not good either… sooo confused!!!
Fickle Francine

 

 



A.

You are only 22. THAT is why you feel that itch. You are too young to settle down and you are at the perfect age to experiment with career moves. Take a chance, we only live one time. This is not a dress rehearsal. The older you get the harder it is to make changes and take chances. In my opinion it is extremely difficult to keep the passion alive after a few years, you really have to work at it that's why I think sleeping in separate bedrooms or living near each other instead of with each other are good ideas to keep the flame alive. Perhaps you could try pulling away for a while, taking a break to concentrate on your career and see what happens.
If it is true love and meant to be, a break won't matter. A LOT of young girls fall for the first guy that makes them orgasm. They think, "Oh my GOD, this is the ONE! He made me feel like I've never felt before" but if you can make yourself cum; you can get that same physical feeling you get with most partners. Sex is naturally better when you are madly in love with the person but he doesn’t turn you on anymore, you may need to take a breather.
If you are on the birth control pill, an infamous passion killer, look into other forms of birth control like the
nova-ring or condoms.

Q.

What does it mean when a girls clit turns blue and then purple? My girlfriend's clit turned blue and then purple. Freaking out here. Does she have a disease? Did I break it?

Bewildered Bob



A.


When a cock or a clit gets engorged it can turn blue or slightly purple thanks to the blood rush to that area. If it STAYS blue/purple the next day, it means it is bruised. Clit must have had way too much fun the day/night before. Ice it and give it a rest. However, if it STAYS blue/purple it could be caused by an irritation of the vulva, known as Lichen Simplex or a plain ol' yeast infection, if so have her bring it in to her Doctor for a tune up ASAP.

Q.


I have been banging this 23-year-old girl who has the longest
and biggest pussy lips I have ever seen and I am 29.I mean it looks 
like she is giving birth to Mick Jagger, lips first.  

She isn't shy about getting naked and fucking but says she doesn't
like men going down on her. I assume it's because of her enormous trim.
Do lips like those mean she is a whore?
It looks like she's been pounded thousands of times, lots of mileage you know?
I am baffled but petrified to mention it to her.

Curious George
 
 
 
 

A.

Consider it a good thing that vagina's are all slightly different in appearance, smell, taste, etc. Just because her meat curtains happen to be longer than your last girl doesn't mean she is whoring it around. Just because a man has a huge cock doesn't mean HE is whoring it around (although they usually are because of the long line of people wanting a ride.
Labia size is usually hereditary, but is sometimes increased by taking the pill (or any hormones), aging, giving birth or from a ridiculous amount of sex, but having said that, there are many porn stars with tiny flaps, so you can't generalize vajay-jays apart from saying any pussy is better than no pussy, so don't look a gift pussy in the mouth, just be grateful you're getting some.

 Q.

My girlfriend says I'm too big for anal, although she's willing to try. Any tips for making it better for her?
Wonder Willy
 

 


A.

She needs to lie on her back and prepare to do it missionary style. Let her guide your cock with her hand, don't shove it rite in or she will veto the process rite away. Use LOADS of lube and be patient. It will hurt, no doubt about it, but if you start in this position it will hurt a tad less. Better her than me. OUCH!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Q.

Do you think a couple can get back together after a divorce?
It has been 2 years since we divorced and I want her back again. I love her madly. I am not sure if she has moved on or not.
The way I feel right now it would be a miracle if we got
back the way we were. I really do love the girl but the one thing I think may kill that chance is since last May when we separated, I've been with other people since and I don't think she will take that well. I have to tell her the truth though, I can't lie about it. Do you think a girl would care about that or am I being paranoid for no reason?

Hopeful Hans

 
 


A.

Some say it's best not to reheat old soup, but it may work out if you don't marry her again. Try to start fresh, date her and don't ask her what she's been up to + avoid answering her when/if she asks. Just ask her to start fresh and leave the past behind. All that matters is that you still love her. Tell her "I've dated a bit, but could not get over you" and leave it at that. Don't offer any extra information as it may just hurt her and scare her off.

 
 

 
Q.



I am back in the dating game after a nasty marriage/divorce. I feel like a virgin which seems to feel good and bad at the same time. Bars
don't interest me, but pussy sure does, so I am out and about rather often lately. One thing I am dreading, is the question "how many
lovers have you had?" from the ladies (I am a fit 42 year old). You see, my wife was my first ever in bed. I was hers. I did slip up and
nosh a few women during our marriage, but still. I do NOT look good on paper as far as sexual experience goes. Should I lie and make
up a number? Or come clean and tell the ladies I am pretty much boring in bed thanks to lack of experience.



Innocent Ike



 

 

A.



 

One should NEVER answer this annoying (how many partners have you had?) question. You just can't win, so just say 
"not many, as I am very picky" . If they keep nagging you about it, remind them that the past is over and you prefer to 
focus on the present, which is all one really has.

 


Q.


Recently my girlfriends mom found out that our “friendship” has turned into “dating” and now her mom hates me and thinks I converted her daughter into being gay because in the past she's always dated men when actually her daughter had a crush on me and chased me.
Do you think her mom will snap out of it and accept our relationship or dislike me forever? We planned on spending the holidays together (Christmas & New Years) but my g/f thinks it's not a good idea because of her mom, but i think we should go ahead with the plans or else her mom will feel like she has the power to control our relationship and stop us from being together. Help.

Delicious Dike

 

 

 


A.


First of all, the Holidays are extremely over rated and BORING, so if I were you, I would just be sweet as pie and tell your girlfriend "go ahead darling, do what you want to do, I will be fine and entertain myself. I just want you to be happy and have fun" which (1) makes you look like the easy going,
independent, understanding partner (2) gives you free time to do whatever you want during the mundane shopping spree called Christmas. You will save so much money not having to buy her ignorant family gifts and she will SURELY get bored out of her fucking mind and miss you so badly because of
your mellow attitude that she will probably sneak away from the judgmental witch to munch your carpet as often as she can. Do NOT waste any energy trying to please or piss off her family, just keep busy and remain patient and sweet to your girl and she will realize it's more fun to hang with you than a
controlling Mom. The more her Mom bitches, the better you will look to her.  You must be dam fun to divert her attention away from her usual diet of cock, so keep that in mind, chin up and keep smiling.

 

Ask Dr. Dot November 2009

Please feel free to send me your questions anytime. I always change the names around, so no one except me, will know your dirty little secrets. Email them to me at: drdot@drdot.com

 

Q.

I meet (and shag) women easily but  I've been having trouble getting
 off with them lately….sometimes I do, but more often than not I concentrate so hard on
 pleasing them that I end up having to finish myself off. Now, I don't mind it if I'm getting the
 woman off but they seem to get frustrated that they can't bring me to cum, and eventually leave me.
What do I do?

Rage against their Machines

 

 

 

A.


Nice to hear you are putting out such efforts to please women. Try to avoid wanking
 24 hours before you jump in bed with a lady. A nice goal would be to get to know one girl so
well that you know how and when she will end up cuming, then try to climax together.
 Or make her cum, then have her suck on you (or your favorite means) until you shoot your load.
If they just came, I don't see why they give a fuck how or when you get yours.
Tell her it turns you on to wank off onto her breasts or at worst, tell her you spent so much
energy making her cum you are too tired to cross the finish
line. In the end, you will know it's the right girl when (1) you can still cum with her or after her (2) she doesn't fucking mind what you do, as long as she is with you .

 

Q.


I am currently seeing this 28year old – I'm 31.  It's been 9 months.  I know all his friends, his parents,
and he wants to see me, calls, etc..
We have had a few dramas – what beauties – but in the end we worked thru it and we keep moving forward.
We are both fireballs and a little stubborn – him more than me, but he is patient and forgiving. We are both 'catches'.
 The problem: he is not verbal at all – but when I mention it, he does try to correct it. There is very little talk of future.
 I asked him over dinner if he saw me in his future and he said “yes”, and that he “doesn't waste time”.
Is the non-verbal thing ok, if he is showing in other ways? Should I stay in this and keep flowing or change it by breaking up? Part of me thinks maybe he'll never be ready.

Ms. Stay or go


A.

You asked a question I would personally never, ever ask a man: "do you see us sharing a future?". That is a waste of breath
and shows them you are insecure and aiming at putting pressure on them. He said "yes, I don't waste time". This should have
made you feel really confident, but you are still questioning the relationship. You seem to be looking for a way out, in my opinion. Love doesn't come with insurance and all we have is today. You can not ensure a future with anyone.
You can get hit by a car; he could die of cancer. Just chill and enjoy the present with
this man who seems to really love you (you met his parents, friends, he verbalized seeing you in his future).
So what he isn't verbal? If you want verbal, date a woman.


Q.


I need another Dr. Dot pep talk.
Got rid of that first asswipe this past fall…while on the rebound found
another guy.
He suffers from depression, obsessive compulsive and ADD….One day he's hot,
the next cold.
One day he's in love with me, the next he totally abandons me. It's like a game
for him. He loves it when I come crying back. He's sent me into such a state of depression with all of his problems that I started antideperssants for the first time in my life.
I've done so much for this person….helped him and his kids out in so many
ways. I just can't go on with his split personalities (I truly think that's what
it is). It's wearing me out completely. He's starting to make me feel nuts. On a
side note….he can essentially be classifed in the 'white trash' catagory which
is something that I normally wouldn't fall for…however, I was hurting/rebound.
I'm having a hard time letting go…for no reason, yesterday, for the 10th time
in the past 3 months he dumped me again.

 Scorned Suzy

 

 

 

A.


I too took anti depressants ONE time because
of a moody ex. I luckily got so ill off them that first time, I had to go to the emergency room
and get an iV.
He probably knows you are too good for him and rejects you over and over again.
This is a test for your soul: how much shit are you going to take? How much low will you go?
You need to pass the test and show fate that you love yourself enough to walk away from people
who treat you badly. If YOU don't love yourself, how do you expect anyone else to? Make
borders from now on;
limits to what you will and won't put up with and stand by them no matter what.
Do not call this wacky cunt back and ignore any attempts he makes to reach you
and you will pass the test and your confidence will start to soar, bit by bit. We ALLOW
people to treat us bad, so you can't blame them if you allow it.

Q.


I know this might sound selfish but please help me out, I have going out with this guy
and he decided to go back to his mother’s child, the problem I can not get him out of
my mind is blowing me off so badly I can even concentrate, I can’t just cope I even go
 to the extent of driving pass near their house incase he I see him.  I tried to get him off
 my mind but it comes back so heavily on me that I cry uncontrollably. I thought time
was the best healer but it does work for me  I’m just madly in love

Crazy in Luv

 

 

 

A.

 

It's not "selfish" it's foolish. "Madly in love", key word being MAD, as in crazy.
Love can make us crazy. Think with your head for a minute and you will see it's insane
to pine after someone who doesn't want you anymore.
 It's over, he made his choice, you need to really just move on.
No one likes to be left; to lose, but it happens sometimes.
You can not make him come back; what will be, will be. Start taking good care of yourself; working out, eating healthy
and sleeping properly and keep as busy as you can so you can dump that needy feeling
the will surely turn off any new guys.  Listen to as much Frank Zappa music as you
can get your hands on; he makes fun of love and heart break and what you really
need now, is a good laugh.

 

 


Q.


 I just met someone 1 week in a half ago and he's really cool. The thing is that he said
he was single but admitted he had been seeing a girl like dating for over a year but
it wasn't exclusive. I don't believe him cause I know men will say anything to get with
a girl but I also give him the benefit of the doubt. He started text messaging me  the
 same day we met and then a few days later started to call me to chat and stuff but it
 has been a week and change and he hasn't even asked me out. The weekend came
 and he said nothing.

I have been unavailable when he asked to see me the other day just to say to say "hi",
 of course cause i don't want be too available for him, and also because he asked to
 see me for one minute to give me a kiss and a hug and I feel that I can get a kiss and
a hug from my grandma or Mom or dad and quite frankly don't feel that he has even
earned that much. If I accustom him to just do that he'll think I would settle for just that.
Hell probably think IM worth just a drive or a hello in front of my house!!lol. Anyway
I know its only been a week and a few days but he should be trying to get to know
 me impress me wine and dine me if he's interested… Atleast go out for drinks.
 He's always complimenting me and when he asked to see me the me other day
 i brushed him off and a few min after we hung up he text messaged me telling me
he was outside and if it was possible to see me just for one min.. he appeared in
front of my house before i even answered anything lol… i haven't kissed him or
anything and i really like him but i don't know if he likes me that much or if its just that
 he does have a relationship with that girl… I just don't know if I should continue
 getting to know him or just drop this…?????

 

Shaky Sandra

 

 

A.


"a few min after we hung up he text messaged me telling me
he was outside and if it was possible to see me just for one min.. he appeared in
front of my house " ????

uh, can you stay "stalker"? He sounds like a pushy, creepy, lying
player to me, ew.

 

 

 

Ask Dr. Dot January 2009

 

This is my Sex/relationship column. I have been writing it for over 6 years. It appears in the Exberliner magazine , Penthouse forum and NY Rock as well. I always change the names around, so feel free to ask me anything and I will answer you personally and it may even make the column

x


Q.
I cheated on my bf while I was on holiday and he found out. I don’t know why I did it.
My man has been exceptionally good to me. When I was exposed he just called me a slut
and walked off. The next day he came round and demanded to know the details, saying he
could not make up his mind about me till he knew everything. I could not say anything
 because I was crying so much I couldn’t talk. He is glad I admitted to it. Should I tell
 him all about how it happened? How can I get him to stay with me? I need him in my life.
 How long will it take for us to work this over? Should I buy him a present or something
 similar……right now he will not even kiss me.


Beaver Deceiver


 

A.
For some reason Men love to know the exact details when they catch their woman cheating
 (seen the movie "CLOSER" yet?). It's best not to give him the details, as if he does
 forgive you, which it sounds like he will (if he was really done with you, you wouldn't
 have heard back from him) then he will always have that scene running through his mind".
 Just write him an email or text and tell him you were drunk,
 missed him and that you regret it with every bone in your body; you are SORRY. That's all
 you can do. Giving him a gift or apologizing too much just makes you look even guiltier.
 You didn't LOVE this guy you fucked around with; it was just a physical thing, so it
shouldn't get blown out of proportion. It's not like you were seeing him for months and
fell in love, it was just a tryst. Men understand as they can usually separate love and lust.
 Tell him going into details is difficult as you were so drunk and you don't even want to
relive such a mistake. Assure him it won't happen again and sit back, be patient and give him
some space to think. Let HIM make the first move! Otherwise you will appear desperate and it
 will remind him that you are feeling guilty; not good. Ease your mind by knowing life will
go on & what's meant to be will be.

 

Q.
My guy keeps bugging me for anal sex. I have heard from ALL of my friends that it hurts and
 it’s unpleasant. He practically begs me, says “If you love me you’ll allow it at least once”.
 I do love him but his dick is already too big for my vagina. I need help, fast.


Exit Only Alice



A.
Men always think we LOVE having a hard cock rammed up our poop shoot because they see porn
stars begging for it in their “movies”. Fact is, it hurts; especially if the man is well hung.
 His begging for your tighter hole is similar to you begging for him to have a wider cock.
 If you let him try it once, he is bound to love your tight ass and will be gagging for it
all the time. If you’re against it, don’t open Pandora’s Box or it will be a major pain in the ass.



Q.


 I've been dating this girl for almost 7 months. Most of her guy friends
are guys that she has slept with in the past. She says that she has
only been with a few guys like 8 or something but she still hangs out
with half of them. Like going out to lunch and sometimes dinner. Always
exclusively and never with her friends while I'm at work. Is this good
girlfriend behavior? She says they are all just her friends and I believe
her but it makes me uncomfortable…I don't hang out with anybody that
I slept with in the past except one of my ex girlfriends who I dated
 and calls my girlfriend more than she calls me so that’s a lot different.
 Anyway one guy that she went to lunch with a week ago and also slept
 with in the past. Sent her a text message at like 10 or 11 at night
 asking her to hang out. She said she was watching a movie with me but
then he replied that he would try harder when she was single. That
really upset me and she was really upset when I brought it up she said
 that he was drunk and isn't like that normally. She didn't reply to the
text message after he said that. She also talks to her ex boyfriend of 4
 years a lot. Sending myspace comments back and forth and texting. He
 even brought her over a gift last week. She's pregnant.. with my baby.
  It's important to that I work these things out with her. What
 am I supposed to do here? Is it wrong for me to tell her that she
needs to cease relationships with past flings? How do I tell her that?


Nervously Neil

 


A.


Ok, she has all the power now. So you can not tell her what to do,
or even suggest it at this point. Do NOT mention them again!
Once the baby is born, she won't have any extra time for these
clingy fools. Just concentrate on her and put the blinders on to the
Ex boyfriends. They are her ex's; you are her guy and father to the baby.
You need to be more mature (I know they are aggravating and irritating
but do not let them win). Offer her foot rubs, lower back rubs and
just be fun to be with. She will want to be with you rather than them.
Like I said, when the baby comes, those wankers will just blend into the
Past; they will be history as her baby and you will keep her more than
busy and hopefully, content.

How to win ANY woman over ^

 


Q.


Why do all the best men end up with bitches? My husband and I have a male friend
 who is the perfect guy; he’s handsome, has money, is smart, ambitious & treats
women perfectly. Over the last 5 years I’ve seen him be screwed over repeatedly.
 He attracts moody, selfish women; of course in the beginning they’re nice.
 Quickly the worm turns & they mistreat him. This guy is a very confident,
successful business man. It pains me to see such a great man wasted. All these
bitches use him like a credit card. Double dates kill me! It’s not fair because
some of my girls swoon over him but he’s always taken by some slut and of course
 being the man he is he is very loyal, doesn’t flirt. Should I intervene?


Meddling Mary

 

A.
Ever heard the term "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen"? A lot of men LOVE to be treated
like that. It turns them on. It's a challenge. I am not defending the woman you are
moaning about, I am being neutral. You say they are usually "sluts". Hmm, I wonder
 what could possibly keep him around? Dirty, hot sex perhaps? Women who have the upper
 hand are usually very confident, and that’s a huge turn on for most men. Not all
men want an agreeable, good girl. As hard as it may be for you to witness, that is
 what he chooses and one can not change a man. Maybe someday he will get tired of
the demanding divas and snap up one of your "girls" but I wouldn't hold your breath
 or get involved. Count your blessings you have a blissful marriage and that
you’re out of the dating game.