Dr. Dot on facebook: www.facebook.com/drdotislovinlife
Q.
For a year I have been seeing someone I have many things in common with,
except I don't smoke pot or do prescription drugs for pain and anxiety.
He always made me feel beautiful, respected and pursued. He always made
the calls and arranged the dates. But, he has made it clear to me he doesn't
like to be confronted or be the target of expressed anger. Once Saturday
night we went out with his sister and her boyfriend to a music rave. He
took a walk with the boyfriend and left me with his sister. When the boyfriend
returned 15 minutes later he was alone. My boyfriend stayed in another
part of the hotel watching some girl band singing and dancing by himself.
He stayed away almost an hour and I found him just because I was looking
for something to do. His sister had to set up her own band. He came over
to me buy I was livid. When he realized I was angry he froze me out of the
conversation later when the 4 of us ordered drinks at the bar. I was hurt
and angry the rest of the night. When our date was over he was annoyed at
my anger. He didn't call me for 2 weeks. Then we exchanged a few emails,
he called Easter and on my birthday. I couldn't see him the day he invited
me to celebrate my birthday over a week ago, and I haven't heard from him
since. Should I let him go? I rarely confront him, but I can't never get angry.
Fed Up Franny
A.
As nice as he may be, this ganja smoking Peter Pan is lost in his
own little never-never land. He can’t behave anyway
he wants and forbid any backlash. He is probably the youngest
child or a spoiled only child who always got his way.
I would ignore him and move on unless you want to walk on
eggshells your whole life long (exhausting!). If you really
can’t live without this sensitive control freak, let him do
all the work, all of the contacting and planning. Trying to
turn a pot head/pill popper into a caring, thoughtful partner
is an uphill battle. He sounds about as useful as a cat flap
in an elephant house.
Q.
Why does it burn when my boyfriend cums in me?
Burning Bush Kate
A.
Think back. Did all of your other lover’s spunk burn you? If
you have both been tested for STD’s and came out clean, this
could be mother natures way of saying "this guy is not the
right one for you". Smell and the way one makes you feel can
really say a lot about a lover. “Love” should feel great, not
painful and like someone used a flame thrower on your snatch.
Q.
My girlfriend only wants to screw after lunch. In the morning I
wake up and am ready for a shag before breakfast; while she's
still a zombie. At night she's "too tired". Only after lunch
does she suddenly get really fucking horny but I'm usually at work!
Any tricks to turning her on in the early hours?
Morning Muffin Man
A.
Try to take a lunch break when she calls and is horny, run home,
shag her, then go back to work with a shit eating grin on your face.
Saying 'no' to a hungry pussy is just wrong. About her being "tired"
at night, tell her "just let me do all the work honey, just lay
there and let me fuck you". Those words usually work like "open sesame".
Q.
Is it gay for a guy to pee sitting down?
Lazy Luke
A.
Having dated a few European men, I can tell you, it’s rather popular
over there. Maybe their wives have more effective ways of threatening
them if they leave the seat up. But then again, peeing while sitting
down enables you to:
– Make sure you get all your piss in the bowl
– Takes the weight off your feet
– Requires less concentration
– Getting your face ripped off by females for leaving the seat up doesn’t happen
– Gives you the option of an unplanned dump, should the need arise.
What's not to love? Why let a position define your sexuality? I say
go for it, no one is supposed to see you do your business anyways. The
only disadvantage is trying to stuff your morning stiffy down into the bowl.
Q.
My wife, god bless her, is 56 and still has her regular periods. When will
it be safe to stop fucking her with a rubber?
Rubber Hell
A.
You should be happy and proud that you married such a
healthy, ripe woman that still ovulates at age 56. This means she can still get
pregnant, but from the sounds of things, you two have thrown in the procreating
towel. If so, why not get snipped? Or she could have her tubes cut and tied.
You could also have her start taking birth control pills OR use the 'Clear Blue
Easy Fertility Monitor’ available at
would need protection during her "dangerous Wal-Mart, CVS. etc (In Europe it's called
"Persona" and you can get it in any Chemist)
She would just keep close tabs with this gadget, finding out when she is most fertile. I am surprised
you two haven't tried such things yet as one of the best
parts about being married is being able to ditch the condoms for more pleasurable
forms of birth control, like the pill or IUD, Diaphragm, the ring or this monitoring
system I just mentioned. I hope you will be riding bareback again soon.
Q.
I am in a difficult relationship, well not difficult but a confusing one. At first
we were friends, mostly via the internet, and then when I moved closer to him, we
started to see each other a lot more; we have been seeing each other (fucking) for
the past 3 months. I know that he likes me and he tells me so, he tells me that if
I was closer to him I would be his girl or he would be seeing me everyday; however
when he returns home it’s a different story. He only will communicate via IM or
myspace and speaking of that I’m last on his list.
Sometimes I feel that he just doesn't want to be bothered…and considering we are friends;
I will say, hey? do you need some time alone? (instead of making me sit in front of
the damn pc while he is busy chatting with other ppl)..he just says, don’t be silly but
then…I end up sitting and waiting.
I have confronted him in a nice way of course and asked where do I stand with him?
His response was that, he is confused and unsure what he wants at the moment. I asked
him if he is keeping his options open? His response is NO. He also states that, he
wouldn't like it if I was with someone else…because he wouldn’t be with someone else.
This is just confusing again!
This is hard for me because I am so in love with him and when he is here I know he is
mine it’s when he is gone that I feel lost and confused and hopeless. I don’t want to
loose our friendship but I just don’t know where I stand with him or what he wants but
then again, neither does he.
Blinded by Love-Layla
A.
My advice, start seeing other people as it sounds to me like he has another, even if he
says he doesn't. It’s been said “women can fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships”.
If he was that into you, he would be begging you to move closer, to let him move near you,
or to at least see you more often. He would call, rather than chat with you like an online buddy.
When a man is in love and hell bent on making sure the girl is HIS, they don't behave like
the wanker you are describing. Sorry but I don’t sugar coat. He is taking advantage of you;
open your eyes and realize you are just his fuck buddy and nothing more.
Get gorgeous, get busy and stop "waiting" around for that indecisive fuck face.
Q.
Hello Dr. Dot. I read the New York Press every Wednesday, and your column is the first page I
turn to. Honest. I have a quick clean question. I am a single, never married 45 year old Hispanic
male, well educated (2 degrees), not bad looking I am told, good shape (like to work out) etc.etc.
but I cannot find a date. You have heard it before I am sure. I am thinking of taking dance classes
to possibly meet interesting women. Good idea or bad idea. What kind of dancing should I learn.
I have no experience at all with any type of dancing. How should I approach this decision? Thank
You very, very much Dr. Dot.
Pimpin’ Pedro
A.
Dance classes, along with cooking and yoga classes are excellent places to pull. Salsa lessons would
ensure you meet lots of ladies who either already have a fiery rhythm, or want one. Such classes
are usually predominantly female and you would end up a popular dance partner. It's tough finding
love in a big city but as a single male, the odds are on your side (lots of gays mean, lots of single
ladies). Make sure your breath is ALWAYS fresh and buy a fresh scent: 'Angle Men' (A-men) from Thierry Mugler
or Fahrenheit from Christian Dior, these scents make women weak in the knees.
Q.
I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months, and things have been great,
but are moving into a beyond the 'surface' stage of our relationship.I haven't
had something like this in awhile and he was very romantic and generous with his
word up until recently. He isn’t seeing someone else and he contacts me
regularly but the sweetness has faded a little. He’s very stressed at work
and the last time I saw him he looked tired and admitted that he takes on
too much and then feels overwhelmed. I freaked a little when he said he has to
find balance. I took it personally because when I had heard that before, it meant that they were
disappearing,and that perhaps I had done something to change their mind. In my heart, I know
he really cares about me, but I am afraid. He’s invited me to go with his family for
dinner next week, but that urgency to see me has faded and he’s really putting himself
first these past days.I understand that, but I still get fearful that my romantic guy won't come
back. I apologized for the mini-freak out and explained to him my fears. He was all ears
and philosophical about it. I just wish I could relax and not worry so much. Any thoughts?
Fearful Freda
A.
You need to chill. Men can smell insecurity, fear and doubt like a dog
can smell another dogs ass miles away.
It’s natural for things to calm after a few months. The only way to keep things
really spicy is to only see each other once a week, but then you can never really
get closer. You’re hooked on that romantic high; that addictive butterfly effect
a fresh
love has on everyone, but love never stays that intoxicating. Eventually romance turns
into a familiarity; there is no way of avoiding it. We would all like our lover to be
mad about us, to imagine they only think of us when they wank, but it's just bullshit;
that only exists in romance flicks.
You shouldn’t have freaked out. Less words and tantrums; more confidence and calm will
prevent them from disappearing. Men need space, patients and above all, less drama.
Realize that you are worth hanging around for and try to feel so happy in your
own shell, that even if you were alone, you would be fine. Men can sense that
and feel free. Just like being in a room alone with a cat, if you close the door,
the cat wants OUT now. If you leave the door a bit open, he will want to sit on
your lap and pine for your attention.
Q.
I cheated on my bf while I was on holiday and he found out. I don’t know why I did it.
My man has been exceptionally good to me. When I was exposed he just called me a slut
and walked off. The next day he came round and demanded to know the details, saying he
could not make up his mind about me till he knew everything. I could not say anything
because I was crying so much I couldn’t talk. He is glad I admitted to it. Should I tell
him all about how it happened? How can I get him to stay with me? I need him in my life.
How long will it take for us to work this over? Should I buy him a present or something
similar……right now he will not even kiss me.
Beaver Deceiver
A.
For some reason Men love to know the exact details when they catch their woman cheating
(seen the movie "CLOSER" yet?). It's best not to give him the details, as if he does
forgive you, which it sounds like he will (if he was really done with you, you wouldn't
have heard back from him) then he will always have that scene running through his mind".
Just write him an email or text and tell him you were drunk,
missed him and that you regret it with every bone in your body; you are SORRY. That's all
you can do. Giving him a gift or apologizing too much just makes you look even guiltier.
You didn't LOVE this guy you fucked around with; it was just a physical thing, so it
shouldn't get blown out of proportion. It's not like you were seeing him for months and
fell in love, it was just a tryst. Men understand as they can usually separate love and lust.
Tell him going into details is difficult as you were so drunk and you don't even want to
relive such a mistake. Assure him it won't happen again and sit back, be patient and give him
some space to think. Let HIM make the first move! Otherwise you will appear desperate and it
will remind him that you are feeling guilty; not good. Ease your mind by knowing life will
go on & what's meant to be will be.
Q.
For the last year and a half I've been in a relationship with one of the most
gorgeous girls I've met inside and outside I think I am in love with her but
there's one issue (actually multiple issues). I am 23 and she is only 20. I
am very independent, have my own place, work somewhere in Wall Street and
graduated from college almost 3 years ago. I come from a very poor and humble
family and feel that I have already accomplished a lot. My girlfriend on the
other hand is 20 and still in school, her parents pay for her car, give her
money every week, and pay for everything. Now the big one: She has a
curfew! she has to be home at 10 every night, which would be ok with me if I
was in high school but all of a sudden I cant handle it. Also please note
that even though she is young she makes good money in her part time job (at least
more than $20 an hour) I tried very hard to make this work but after a year I
feel like I should go out there and meet people that are on the same stage as
me…The icing on the cake is that her family is Jewish and I am not so they do
not approve of me so there's no way I can convince them to leave the situation.
Even though I love her lately…I've just been thinking really about where
this all going…and at the end of the day I am just not happy…what’s your
take on this?
Master Baiter
A.
Just because you love one, doesn't mean you have to hate the rest. You are 20-fucking-3.
Your life has just begun. You will meet many people in your life and if you
try and settle down now, it probably won't last, especially with so many odds
against you. I sense a bit of resentment from you towards your younger, sheltered/spoiled
20 year old Jewish Princess. Her family will not bend unless you concert and even so, if
they are so anal as to put a curfew on a 20 year old, why would you want to be part of
that family?
Imagine how strict they would be if you had kids with her? You obviously year
to meet others so do it. Leaving her would be easy, just blame it on her
family not accepting you and her curfew. Tell her you want to be friends but
want to be single. You are a young and ambitious man in a big city, in other
words, it's raining pussy.
Q.
I recently moved to a new town and had my tits made bigger (new town; new
jugs) and I love them. But every time I go out, people, mostly men, ask me
“are those real?” and they are not even huge. This really pisses me off.. I
don’t know how to respond without looking like a liar or coward. Some even ask
about my breasts before they ask my name or if I want a drink. Any suggestions
would be greatly appreciated.
Breasty Beauty
A.
A few ideas off hand: (1) If you weren’t so ignorant, you may have found out
yourself (2) Does it really fucking matter? Or if you have a sense of humor
(3) No, I just bought them on Ebay, aren’t they fucking bodacious?
Q.
Me and my girlfriend get along well; we have the occasional small fight
but nowadays, Sex has gotten outta hand, it just seems I can’t cum any more.
Me and my girlfriend have tried almost every position, including foreplay.
We try crazy things like her dressing up or fulfilling fantasies, but she
just can’t handle it, we go at it, and then she cums, and im stuck in a not so
sticky situation. She does kegel exercises and is indeed nicely fitted to my
penis, however she says my penis is too long, and there are times when I can feel my
cock hit a dead end so to say. Sometimes causing her a rush of excitement,
others causing pain. Any ideas on what to do?
Long Dong Silver
A.
Too long does hurt our delicate love cave, but avoiding the doggy style
position could help avoid extreme pain. Let her be on top, so she can control
the pressure, or when you are on top, be gentle. Perhaps take a break from all
of the bells and whistles and just have her blow you for a good hour. That
should make you cum. Tell her not to forget your balls or your taint (tain't
your ass, and it tain't your balls). Never met a man who can't cum from great
oral.
