October in Berlin (Birthdays and a visit from Arturo Vega)
So another birthday has come and gone (Friday was my Birthday and naturally I will just let you wonder how old/young I am )
Jasmine and I spent most of the day at the Ritz Carlton Hotel, at their Spa. Jasmine has never had a facial or anything of the sort, so it was funny to see her experience it all. The service was great, but their techniques were half ass. Not worth the 600 euros is cost, at all. They rushed us, left Jasmine's face a mess and didn't have time to do my manicure (had to do it at home). Just warning you if you were thinking of spending money on the place.. The lady who does my facials since 10 years at the Europa Center is the best, by far. I guess I shouldn't have cheated on her 🙂
The last few days have been very eventful as my friend Arturo Vega (art director for the Ramones) has been in town. He just turned 60 but does NOT act it or look it. A youthful Libra, like myself, heh heh. I have known him since I was 15 years old. When I first started dating Joey Ramone. Anyways, Arturo is in town for some art exhibition he is taking part in. He designed EVERY single Ramones album/cd cover. He invented THAT Ramones symbol most people know, in fact, he even got it tattoed on his back:
< Arturo Vega
Some pics of us over the years…..
^ 2002 NYC
< 2004
I have one of us together when I was just 16 and I just tried to find it, but it will take days to find that one pic. When I do find it, I will post it as it's hilarious.
Below are some pictures I took the other day, showing Arturo around Berlin.
Arturo near the Sony Center, Potsdamer Platz
Jewish Monument near Brandenburger Tor ^
^ The typical Brandenburger Tor (gate) pose 🙂
Artie loved this building with the big D on it ^ . I am pretty sure it's an Art related/performance hall- building, but don't quote me on that.
We stood in line for ages to get to the top of the Reichtag (like the White House of Germany). The view was nice, I just wish we got there earlier, as it was kinda dark as you can see..
Unfortunately they were cleaning that glass dome, which you can normally walk around, literally. There is a winding path inside that you can scale, but we arrived at an awkward time, as they were vacuuming and mopping.
The middle of the dome, looks so futuristic ^
View from the top of Reichtag ^
No trip to Berlin is complete without a stop at Tacheles, the broke down building that squatters took over after the wall fell in 1989. They took over, making it into a bizarre art museum of sort. One artist, Tim Roelofs, is so successful, he has his own, rather permanent, shop on the 3rd floor. I even bought a piece from there, for my Dad for Christmas (keep that info on the down low 🙂
No, this is NOT the piece I bought for my Dad. But I find it entertaining and thought it was worth sharing.. (also by Tim Roelofs)
There are many freaks who live and/or hanging out in Tacheles. Never a dull moment. This girl from Sweden for example, has the longest Dreads I have ever seen on a chick. She was asking me if I had any weed to share. Didn't have any on me, lol, but I gave her some spare change for posing for me and to help in her search.
Be happy she has her mouth closed. Her tooth (and I mean TOOTH, not teeth) was rather disturbing.
Arturo was not impressed much by Tacheles like most people I drag there. He said he has seen similar/better/worse places in Holland for example. I guess at his age, and the fact he hung with the Ramones for over 25 years, you pretty much have seen it all. The Ramones signed their first ever record contract in his kitchen. He has pictures of that in his flat, which is like a Ramones museum.
Speaking of Ramones museums, our friend Flo, who is probably the biggest Ramones fan I have ever met, runs the Ramones Museum in Berlin. Arturo has been hanging out there every day since he's been there. I will go and film there tomorrow..
Click HERE to see the museums myspace page..
I gathered together with some friends at White Trash, the night after my birthday….just to have some laughs, no big woop…
Arturo talking to Paualo and Martina (one of my best friends & also a Libra 🙂 ^
Me ^ wearing the "DD" charms (in the usa, people call me 'Double D') I bought myself for my birthday. ^ Daniel givin' us the Dr. Evil pose.
Sansi, my friend and drummer and his lovely girlfriend Chrissy (also a Libra) and Bjoern, an old friend of mine since many years (who sometimes also acts as an agent for me).
It was fun, but after 3 hours of White Trash, I had to bolt with Freaky and Arturo to sing some karaoke. The first time since my tonsillectomy one month ago. My pipes are in working order again, it was so fun to sing again, and finally Arturo got to witness the madness 🙂
x
Art work by Tim Roelofs ^ (notice the "woman" to the right holding her penis) Ahem, welcome to Berlin.
Berlin, baby
Sooooooooooooo, back in Berlin. The flight, as predicted, killed my ears and throat. Whine ,whine, whine. I know. Since I have been back, I have been going to bed at 7pm and getting up at 6 am. Can't seem to stop this insanity, but I am sure once I get better and go for a late night of karaoke, this early morning crap will be cured. I sit here for hours working online, thinking to myself, what do people do this early in the morning? I feel like I have too much time on my hands and all of my friends are still sleeping.
Simon, of American Idol/X-Factor Fame has been in touch and I will hopefully be massaging him again soon. Ditto with Joe Jackson, Harry Connick Jr. and Rod Stewart and his entourage. Finally Harry will be able to get a massage from me personally. He has been using my team for ages but has yet to meet the Doctor. He even spoke about my team on stage one night on his tour, saying how much he loves Dr. Dot's massage team. He will freak when he gets a massage from me, he ain't seen nothin' yet 
The guilt of not blogging has been rather strong, sorry about that. I went to my local Ear, Nose, Throat doctor yesterday here in Berlin, just to see how things were in my throat and hear a different opinion and this Berliner bases Doctor freaked out when she looked in my throat, thus spreading panic into me. She said (all in German of course) that the Americans butchered me, that there is still lots of left over tissue he (my USA based ENT Dr. ) "forgot" and that I am bound to have many more tonsil related problems as there is still left over tonsils lurking about in my throat. GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, when I told her I was home 2 hours after the operation, she turned a nice shade of maroon with rage. She didn't believe me and when I convinced her she was still irate and slagging off the American health care routines. She told me in Germany you have to stay "AT LEAST" one week in the hospital after such an operation. Not so in the USA, where they ask you to leave as soon as you wake from the anesthesia. Buh Bye they say as they shove you out the door…. "don't call us, we will call you".
The pro's and con's between the USA and Germany have been taunting me for 18+ years now, I am a Libra and have trouble making up my mind about every thing, so this is driving me batty. "Should I stay or should I go now?" runs through my head all the time. So afraid of making the wrong choice, that I make none and continue to live two lives, spreading myself thin. Naturally there are pro's to this situation, otherwise I wouldn't keep doing it. Hard to get bored if you keep moving "I don't know but I've been told, you never slow down, you never grow old" a quote from a very underrated Tom Petty..
So before I left, as you may know, I went to see Steve Vai and had fun hanging out with him. Somehow we got to talking about Farts, as you do, and he said "Farts are like God's little joke on us". So I went online and ordered him a fart machine. I sent it express mail up to Christin, my friend and also the worlds biggest Vai fan. They are pals, Steve always makes time for her, so she is not just a fan. Anyways, they met at a local Starbucks in Boston before the show, and she gave him my fart machine.
Steve & Christin ^ – Steve opening my Fart Machine 
Anyways, Jasmine returns tomorrow from Italy (she has been studying Italian in Bologna). I can't wait to give her mad hugs and kisses, yay!
Gotta run, things to do..ttyl
x
Zappanale videos (blog to follow shortly)
Ask Dr. Dot
Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…
My column, "Ask Dr. Dot" can also be seen weekly at:
and www.nyrock.com
Q.
I was wondering why my girlfriend always gets bladder and urinary tract infections.
Do you think she is fucking around behind my back? Is it me she is allergic to?
This happens to her like every couple of months so I just find it hard to believe.
Pessimistic Pete 
A.
It’s common for women to get those. Smashing the tip of your cock into her clit
(which is
directly above the urethra) forces bacteria up into the bladder and urinary tract.
I know men do this in porn flicks, so men think it’s a smooth move, but it can
cause females many trips to the gyno. Also, hopefully she already knows that wiping
front to back is healthier than wiping back to front (dragging all that nasty
bacteria from the back door to the front is a recipe for trouble) ditto with
sleeping in a thong. Make sure you wash your hands with soap and hot water before
you two do the wild thing as well. Now you know she is prone to them, help her
prevent them. If she was fucking around behind your back, she would come down with
much worse things than a balder infection (if she was dumb enough to go bareback that is). 
Q.
Last year, I was 38, and for the 1st time ever, a woman took a liking to me, and
invited me over one night. Before this, I had never even held a female’s hand. My
life has always been so lonely. So the first night, she totally seduced me and I
tried to resist but eventually gave in. I have never been so scared or excited in
my whole life.
This went on two weekends a month, after midnight as not to disturb her 2 children
(single Mom).
I was never happier, but lost in a magical world of confusion. Her life changed,
and she could no longer be with me, but my love for her was/is too overwhelming.
She seemed to be the girl I’ve always dreamed of but now she changed, pulled the
love rug straight from out under me.
I was gutted. We still chat online, as she is going through a tough time, but I
miss her and our dirty romps.
I have no friends to confide in, so I turned to the Internet. I made friends,
poured out my feelings on a forum, and a lady who was going through the same thing got
to know me and since Feb we have had chats and cyber sex on a daily basis. We both
lost control it feels, and she is as much in love with me, as I was with my ex-g/f.
But she lives in another country. She will not leave there because of family
(she is a single Mom), and I don't feel ready enough to leave here.
I still love my ex but she has no intention of a relationship.
Do I run and hide from both? Do I move to the woman who has already proposed 3 times.
The online sex is amazing, but we started this at a time when neither of us was thinking
clearly. The poor lady is lost without our daily chats. I feel for her, but if my
relationship failed so fast here, what chance does moving country really have? We have
never even met.
Both women are mistrustful and viciously jealous, and as much as I crave companionship,
I don’t want to hurt anyone. What on earth have I gotten myself into? I feel totally
out of control. Like a small child, out of his
depth in love/life matters he has no knowledge of. I feel like a cheat, a liar, dirty,
used, afraid and lost.
Lost in Cyber Space Sal
A.
Online romances often lead to huge disappointments. I don't know ONE happy couple that
met online. The internet has a way of making things looks better than they really are.
With an online romance, there is no trash to take out, no grocery shopping, no monthly
bill discussion or bad breath in the morning. No farting under the covers, no expensive
dinners, it's JUST the foreplay part of the relationship, which is what makes it so
appetizing. Even if you meet the person you are fondling yourself for on web cam, and
the sex is indeed great, you will eventually go home again and maybe think "wow, that
was amazing" but it's still, not reality! You have to live in the same area, separately
and date for a while before you really get to know someone for real. Then, and only
then, can you build a proper relationship. Even long distance relationships are hard
as when you visit her or vice versa, one of you will have A LOT of free time as you will
be "on vacation" but the other one still has their normal routine (work, shopping,
and housework) and they will feel overwhelmed with this visitor up their ass 24/7.
Point is, I think you should wean yourself off of your online pacifier, no matter how
hard it is, as it is just a waste of your reality time! Use the experience you learned
from the other indecisive woman who lives near you as a way of chatting up new ladies.
Now you KNOW the game, go and use the info to your advantage.
Go out to pubs (never mention this crazy shit you have going on to new ladies fyi)
or go take a yoga class/aerobics class and meet new women. If they ask what became of
your "ex" say “she moved away” end of story.
You are not alone; this society breeds lonely people who nurse their lonely hearts
online. It's not BAD, but it's not reality. You only live one time so get out of the house
and meet some REAL people near you. Moving doesn't sound like a bad idea either, but
never move for/to someone, just do it because you want to.
Q.
I am tired of failed relationships. I try everything (cooking all the time,
dressing nice, letting them move in, buying them nice presents, doing all
the house work, etc) to keep them around, but it never works out, what do
I have to do to keep them around?
Lady Jane
A.
NOTHING. Don't do anything you wouldn't normally do, be yourself. If they still
come and stay, it will last longer. Some people put up a false front when they
meet someone new. This is unwise, as sooner or later the real you will come
through and the change may be a shocking let down. In fact, a woman who gives
too much makes a man feel strange and could encourage a lazy & ‘take you for
granted’ attitude. Just be yourself and sooner or later, some one will adore
the real you. Putting too much effort into things is exhausting and when you
tire, it could back fire. And as I’ve said many times before, lots of oral sex
and laughter will make anyone more desirable.
“Lies, drippin’ off your mouth like dirt”
"and we're so dumb they're lining up at our door"
Help block power plant on Navajo lands
Please speak out now against plans for a dirty, coal-fired power plant in New Mexico that would release mercury and other toxic contaminants into the environment, pollute waterways and threaten human health.
Go to http://www.savebiogems.org/yellowstone/takeaction right away and tell the Bush administration to reject the proposed Desert Rock power plant. A global energy company and the Dine Power Authority want to build the plant on the eastern edge of the Navajo Nation in northwestern New Mexico. The Four Corners region is already home to two of the most polluting power plants in the country. If we don't act now, this area could soon be besieged by a new wave of environmental hazards. In addition to mercury, the proposed Desert Rock plant would increase emissions of soot and soot-forming pollutants, which can cause asthma attacks, heart disease and other health problems.
Furthermore, the Navajo Nation would receive less than five percent of the projected electricity output from Desert Rock, even though many Navajo people still have no electricity in their homes. Most of the power would likely be exported to Las Vegas and Phoenix. Last month, NRDC Members and online activists turned out at public hearings in Albuquerque and Santa Fe to oppose the Desert Rock plant, which would significantly increase global warming pollution in New Mexico at a time when states should be working to curb these dangerous emissions.
Please add your voice to this outcry.
click HERE to sign
I would love this life style too
(Not laying around eating all day, I mean taking care of the Hippo of course)
yay!
Super excited about the fact that Simon Cowell of American Idol has been using my team for massages. Yay! The word on the team is he is super nice, polite and generous. Our team rules.
x
More Zappa drama ( this time, Pro- Gail)
Here is Ed Mann's (Zappa alumni) opinion on this whole situation. (Not sent to me, but forwarded to me)
Sent: Thursday, July 26, 2007 9:06 AM
Subject: Re: Gail vs the Germans
Hey Everyone
re: this event
I have to say that I agree with Gail – ARF fucked up royally, Just meeting Ahmet is in no way making an agreement with ZFT, nor is having Napoleon sing with Sheik Yerbouti any form of tacit endorsement by ZFT, and for ARF to mention those things as some sort of defense and their "18 years" of all they have been thru with ZFT, ARF did not see this coming? THAT is Dumb.
To be clear: ARF Head is a capitalizing promoter, just like any other promoter. The leader is a super duper capitalist who knows how to make gazillions Euro. Yes he has poured money into Z-nale but he is also building an institution which someday will make him lots of money, he is a guy who understands investment and return, just like Frank did.
I have read some responses in which z-fans react with this pre-enabled hate towards Gail and ZFT about "being ripped off for ticket money because of Gail" – This is not Gail acting out against the fans, this is the result of the promoters/ARF lack of professional procedure which then leads to bad experiences for fans. For an event this Big – naming a street for her husband, ARF should have contacted Gail formally long ago when this was in the planning stages (they have been into this for a couple of years), offer to fly her over and put her up in a grand hotel, ask her to speak, show her every respect, pay her a great fee, and then get on with it. This BTW is not unusual, the surviving spouses of many great composers required similar – fees, etc.
ARF operates in a big self created arena that is all about celebrating and making money off of FZ's persona. I recognize that they love FZ to death too and I understand the healing effect FZ's work has on the post WWII German populace. But if anyone wonders why there is such animosity toward ARF from Gail, I think this example serves to illuminate the big "why"….and now that the event is happening ARF is doing the crybaby thing and pointing fingers at Gail? Really Really Dumb.
It is big-time non-pro fuck-up shit like this that just makes it worse for the Zappa community at large.
OK
Ed
HERE'S ARF-SOCIETY'S REPLY:
From: yellowshark
Sent: Friday, July 27, 2007 9:11 AM
Subject: Re: Gail against the Germans
Dear Ed,
Many thanks for these bright prospects, you’re wishing for Zappanales and Arf-Societies future in your email dated July 26, 2007.
We more than hope your guess – we’ll get a return of investment in the near future – comes true! This will be the safest and only base for all music – and zappa-interested people – worldwide, to enjoy more sophisticated and successful Zappanale festivals in the coming years.
We are honoured to read, that you really compare our voluntary work with Frank Zappas professionalism and cleverness. You’re absolutely right, saying that we acted naive and really unprofessional when we first tried to make contact to Gail and the ZFT, but even we are learning more about this year after year.
Do you really believe a more professional behaviour would have had any influence on Gail's reaction to our simple request of cooperation? I don’t! All she said in a telephone call (oh yes we talked to her personally) is the only chance for cooperation is:
If she gets total control about who’s allowed to play and all musicians have to subordinate their program under her creativity.
Thanks again Ed, maybe we see you back on stage in Bad Doberan one of the next years! If all your good wishes for us come true, we should get the chance to get you financed again.
By the way, Arf-Society has never had, or will have, any influence on Gail's behaviour. All we do is support her business, as allowing to sell her products at the festival through traders, who are all members of the Arf-Society, without asking any charges for this.
All of our Zappanale-CD’s and DVD’s are officially registered by the German GEMA, to keep the composers rights and the ZFT is paid by this.
Come on Ed, who’s got the return of investment?
We better should tell the fanbase about this.
Best
Thomas Dippel
President Arf-Society e.V.
AND FINALLY ED'S RESPONSE:
From: Ed Mann
Sent: Monday, July 30, 2007 11:36 AM
Subject: Re: Gail against the Germans
Greetings Thomas,
I do absolutely mean what I wrote and yes I do believe that the building of a Brand is what is going on. Wolfhard knows well how to invest and make money and one day Z-nale will be a money maker…any fans that choose to volunteer are unpaid workers toward this end result. Wolfhard KNOWS how to make money. In the case of Z-nale, FZ is his Brand. And I do believe that the years of problems between Gail and Z-nale has turned to Gail vs. the entire Zappa alumni (save Terry and Steve). Z-nale has played a part in making that worse and it has been going on for so long that now things are worse than ever. Sorry to say this; I do not intend to hurt anyone, but this is the truth as I see it. That ARF did not see this coming (from Gail) for the upcoming street-naming event amazes me. I do believe that before things were in place, the right kind of organization, professionalism and respectful pre-contact with Gail would have resulted in a positive effect.
So to be positive, take this for what it is worth, ARF would be well advised to bring their activities up to professional standards and not let unskilled volunteers be given the authority to make critical ARF decisions. The way I see it now, as a result of the street naming event and how things have transpired, and Gail's reaction to it – progress has been set back a good 5-10 years for the entire Zappa community.
I am just being honest with you.
Best wishes
Ed