Spain wins

Berlin is very silent tonight apart from a few car loads of Spanish fans honking their horns at their 1-0 victory over Germany. I feel bad for the Germans, they were so supportive and hopeful.


Most have been saying "Picking a goalie like Jens Lehmann for the tournament was the worst decision made by trainer Joachim Loew". Doesn't matter now, it's over and done. Oh well, there's always next year..

Congrats Spain, you played an incredible game! 

He loved it

Berlin is bursting with anticipation today. You can almost hear the people holding their breath whilst awaiting the big football match tomorrow. I will certainly be watching the show, but not on fan-mile, as it's too crowded and unpredictable, as in, you don't know if you're going to get smashed in the face or not.

Thursday MORNING my phone rang at 10 am. Normally I don't hear it as I turn it on silent, but because the night before was a bit wild (that was the night Germany beat Turkey and the wild Exberliner party night) and even though I ONLY drink two glasses of wine when I go out (any more and I end up blowing chunks) I still felt tired as fuck due to all the cig smoke in the air at Kaffee Burger. ANYWAYS, when I come home from a night out, I stay up even later than normal, catching up on the 300+ emails I receive whilst out.

So I had only been sleeping two hours, and they weren't even a good two hours as the construction workers seemed to be tearing down every building within a mile radius of my flat, the concierge of the Adlon hotel called and said the President of Georgia wanted another massage from me RIGHT NOW before his flight at noon. Um, sorry, can't do it.

I am not lazy by no means, but it's easier for me to do a massage at 4 am than at 10 am. 4 am is NO problem, I am still wide awake, full of energy, but 10 am for me is like 3 am for most normal people, who sleep from 10 pm to 6 am. I had to decline and the Pres will either be (1) angry and never talk to me again or (2) take that as a challenge and REALLY invite me to Georgia as he promised to finally get round two of "the best massage" he has ever had in his life. We shall see.  I think this was the first time I said "no" to a hotel here in Berlin, but after two hours of extremely interrupted sleep, the massage would have been half-assed anyways and I would rather to NO massage than a shitty massage.


Irish gals out on the piss ^  

Was out last night for a bit of karaoke at Oscar Wilde again. Can you believe the two dark haired girls at the top of this ^ picture are 17 years old (left side) and 15 years old (right side)? Well, I also didn't look 15 when I was 15, but it's funny seeing 15 year olds drink beer, as you know in Yank land you have to be 21 to even get into a bar. Berlin is so liberal. I sang 'River Deep Mountain High',  'Stay with me' < Rod Stewart, and 'D'yer Maker' < Led Zepp..  I love to sing but HATE being around drunk people who keep repeating themselves over and over again and there is one guy that is there every time I go there who SWEARS to GOD he is Smokey Robinson. Everyone believes him too- except me.


I'm like, fuck right off, if you were Smokey (didn't he die?) then why the fuck are you singing the same two songs every time karaoke is on? He sings "simply the best" by Tina Turner and "kiss" by Prince. Again, I love to sing, but karaoke is a freak magnet. Not sure how much more of it I will take. Ugh. Thing is, I don't like to just go out and drink as I don't drink much, so I have to have something to do, as in table soccer or karaoke, or I get bored. Hanging around in a bar just doesn't appeal to me. Watching a football match is good fun though but still, drunks irk me to no end.


Tough for me as I LOVE Rock and Roll but most of the guys who LOVE rock and roll are into drugs, drinking, lying around doing nothing. I love rock and roll, but work out, eat healthy as fuck and don't smoke and barely drink and I am as ambitious as Donald Trump (not as rich, just as ambitious) ha! Boo fucking hoo, I don't fit in. ha ha. Gotta run, it's gorgeous out

Germany wins over Turkey


 ^ "fan mile" (in background you can see the Adlon Hotel where Michael Jackson dangled the baby out the window AND where I massaged the President the other night).


I am sure you heard it already, but last night Germany won over Turkey in football (soccer to the yanks) 3-2. It was a close game the whole time, super exciting!!!

Martina, my preggy gal pal, is lovin' her extra cleavage ^ I found it hard to look in her eyes whilst talking to her with such lovely optical distractions right in front of me, now I know how it must feel to be a man

Martina (my pregnant girlfriend) and I went and watched it in Oscar Wilde Irish pub, which is normally a peaceful place, BUT last night hard core German football hooligans, all with shaved heads, Doc Martin boots and Nazi symbols filled the place. At first there were just ten of them and it was funny watching them scream and shout and carry on, but then 20 or so more piled in and it got scary. Martina is German and said the songs and chants they were belting out were old German Nazi songs. The other Germans in the place were also getting very very uncomfortable with this, but even the owner and bar tenders were petrified of them, so no one could do anything. It was even too crowded to leave at one point. The shit really hit the fan when the power went out. There was a massive storm in Basel which caused a disruption of video footage, which means, all over the world, people who were watching it live, had to watch a blank screen for a few minutes during the match, and that happened 4 times, which created even more anticipation and frenzies galore.



Every time there was a goal from either side, stools went flying, beer was tossed everywhere (Martina and I were dressed in girly dresses and little strappy sandals and got SOAKED). There is no stopping these guys. A few took off their shirts and showed they had Nazi ( swastikas  ) all over them as well as this one: 

Every country has it's nationalists, but this is the closest I have been to the chaos they bring. Sometimes it seems football and nationalism go hand and hand together, sigh. This one hooligan KEPT spilling beer down Martina's back (who is 7 months pregnant) and I asked him to back up and be careful and he just screamed at us and made obscene hand gestures. Scary guys.

 One of the Jewish waitresses was off duty and sitting with us during the whole match, she was not amused. Anyways, not sure how the Turks dealt with losing as there were NO TURK supporters what so ever in that pub, or on the streets in that area afterwards. I am sure they are pissed off, gutted, sad. However, the Germans are in the BEST mood ever, the sun is shining and Berlin is heaven on earth at the moment (if Jasmine was here it would be even better, but she is still in Italy). 


Lots of great concerts coming up again here in Berlin, Motorhead, Radio Head, etc.. I will never be able to decide between NYC and Berlin. I just can't. I love them both. So instead of me trying to decide, I decided not to decide. Less pressure. ha! Next month the official smoking ban will be enforced ( I will believe it when I see it) then Berlin would be even BETTER. The Oscar Wilde pub is smoke free; LOVES IT! But "Kaffe Burger " where we went after the match to help the Exberliner celebrate it's 6th anniversary, was smoky as fuck. Oh, it's predominantly men there, and even being 7 months pregnant< Martina & I were getting hit on non-stop. So, if you are a lady and looking for a man in Berlin, head to Kaffe Burger. jeeze!! 



A different Georiga on my mind part 1 (part 2 found here: )

Berlin is treating me WELL these days. Saturday night I massaged Ronald Steven Lauder the youngest son of Estee Lauder.For some reason I thought the family was French and was surprise to find out he is from Brooklyn. Ha! Super funny guy who LIVES for massage. He is currently building a massage room in his house. He told me my massage was the best one he has ever had, so maybe I will be massaging he and his wife in that massage room when I get my arse back to NYC. 

TONIGHT was even better. I massaged the best looking President on earth, Mikheil Saakashvili . < click to read more about him)..He is the President of Georgia and super fun to talk to. He originally wanted only a 30 minute massage but 90 minutes later, he told me my massage is "the best massage I have had in my life so far". Mikheil had body gaurds outside the massage room the whole time, who were all over 6 feet tall and like 4 feet wide. One spoke English really well and told me his favorite group is Metallica. Ha. He said "I am a rocker!" so we got along fine, whilst waiting for the President to finish his work out. I was excited to finally get to massage a President. I have massaged the Prince of Saudi Arabia before and a few Mayors, but this was the first President for me. 

During the massage 'Mr. President' was very witty. I was massaging his massive neck and told him "wow! Your neck is so tense!" and he answered "no kidding, I have RUSSIA sitting on it!". We both laughed so hard. I was feeling comfortable and asked him if he had ever been to Georgia, as in, Atlanta Georgia and he laughed and said of course. Then I took it even further and asked him if he's ever heard "Georgia on my mind" from Ray Charles. I was laughing while I asked him and said "these are just stupid questions reporters aren't allowed to ask you" ha!!  I told him my family lives in Georgia (they are from New England but migrated South to Atlanta, k?). He said I should come to visit the COUNTRY Georgia, and I said I was too scare, I mean, I can't even point it out on the fucking map. He assured me if I came, his security would look after me. SOOOO I may be going to Georgia this summer. He swears they LOVE Americans there. I told him that is probably the ONLY place on earth that "loves Americans".He said he studied at Columbia University in NYC and lived in Washington DC, which he said are his favorite two places in the US. 

 Even his body gaurd's faces lit up when I told them I am American. The Pres and I were cracking jokes about how serious Germans are. LMFAO!! He said "We Georgians are the complete opposites of Germans" ha!! Now I can't wait to go and discover this mysterious country that has only 5 million people in it, yet has their own Playboy magazine (you know, Playboy UK, Playboy Germany, Playboy GEORGIA!". He told me that. We talked about that because I had just told him I write for Penthouse Forum and gave him a copy (the copy which has yours truly on the cover). He asked me a lot of questions to, about where I learned massage, about my family and life. I try to avoid talking during a massage but if someone is chatty, we chat. Sometimes we were silent, as when I massage, it's hard work and it's hard to talk and massage deep tissue at the same time, I start breathing hard and I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. heh heh.

After the massage, he was in a super good mood and even posed with me. I didn't even BOTHER bringing my good Sony camera as I thought, nah, he would never pose with a rock and roll massage therapist. BUT he did, so my blackberry camera had to do:


I told him I massage a lot of rock stars and he asked which ones, I told him a few names, Kiss, Sting, The Stones… and he said "I feel honored now!" ha ha! He is so fucking cool! Genuinely friendly, not diplomatically friendly, know what I mean? He had his body gaurds send down to bottles of Georgian wine "Mukuzani, Special Reserve, aged in French barrels for 20 months" and 100 euro tip. What a man!!!!!!!!  He now has a new fan.

Oh, by the way, when I arrived to massage the President at his hotel, there was a BIG FUCKING FUSS;  LOADS of security outside and no one was allowed in a that moment because Ms. Rice (Condoleezza Rice, National Security Advisor) was about to enter the same hotel. I told the cops, "the freaking president of Georgia is waiting for a massage, let me in!" ha ha. They didn't believe me at first, but after a walkie talkie check, I was escorted in. This hotel is happenin' at the moment. Not allowed to say which hotel right now…. I am behaving. 




Berlin is happier than ever right now. The Turks are happy as they won the other night and now Germany won against Portugal, so we have happy Turks along side Happy Germans, enjoying the warm weather. Life is grand here apart from the fucking construction workers who have been doing who knows WHAT since January in my court yard, who start making EXTREME noise at 7:30 am sharp, which leaves me about, uh, one hour of silences after my head hits the pillow at 6am as always. Lucky for them there are laws protecting them, ha ha.


So today (June 19th) is Jasmine's 19th birthday. OMG! Just thought I would throw that out there, she won't want me going on and on about it. sigh. I  am so swamped lately that even thinking about blogging makes me nervous. I have so much to write and so many pictures to crop and upload and explain. Perhaps I will find time this weekend to put a dent in the France and Italy blog. Jesus I have to much catching up to do AND my New Years resolution was to actually re-write my WHOLE book again so I can see if anyone wants to publish it. Thing is, I get asked several times a day per email "where can I find your book" or "where can I buy your book?" so I know there is a demand for it and I know it will help me sleep getting all of this info out of my fucking head (like taking a huge mental dump) so I can free up memory space on my mind before I get Alzheimers and forget it all. Feck!

So much to do everyday, so many emails and columns to write that I never get around to the fun writing.. I think it's better to have too much to do than not enough. I simply can NOT understand people who get bored. WHAT? Bored? I just don't comprehend. I have no time to be bored. There is always something to do, in fact, more than one thing to do; I'm not even bored when I sleep, I have naughty dreams keeping me entertained.

Oh, I saw the Sex and the City movie tonight and LOVED IT!!! I went with  my girlfriend Martina (who looks, dresses and acts just like Charlotte AND is 7 months pregnant, so at the part in the film where Charlotte was super pregnant, it was so funny looking at Martina!). Anyways the film is fabulous and we want MORE! On another note, I watched an episode of WEEDS, which everyone told me about; told me how much I would love it. HATED IT. What a waste of time that was. STUPID. Don't waste your time. Sometimes before I sleep, Pooh and I watch something on my MAC lap top (which I LOVE now by the way) and it's usually Meerkat Manor or Gene Simmon's Family Jewels which I order from iTunes. LOVE THEM.


I am just rambling on now, I have to get to bed before the trash men and construction workers start making their war sounds. Will write again soon,


Help protect the last 100 remaining Ocelots

Help protect the last 100 remaining Ocelots from the Threats Posed by a Border Fence


There are between 85 and 100 remaining in the Texas area This Fall, Homeland Security plans to build hundreds of miles of fencing between Texas and Mexico. This fence has grave consequences for the small populations of Ocelots that still remain.

Speak out now for the protection of the endangered Ocelot!

Many Ocelots travel from Texas into Mexico for water and to breed, and this fence will almost definitely disrupt this natural migration and could threaten the last remaining Ocelots.

An environmental impact statement released by the Department of Homeland Security stated, "Habitat loss and fragmentation especially along the Rio Grande pose a critical threat to the long-term survival of the ocelot. Efforts are underway to preserve key habitat and biological corridors necessary for ocelot survival."

Tell them to keep their word! Sign the petition today :

CLICK HERE to sign