Ask Dr. Dot


                                                                    ^ The good ol’ days in Berlin. A night out with Pantera ( RIP Dime Bag)


I have been with a great guy for about 16 months. We have a great sex life and have been engaged since June. At first I think I had an emotional block preventing me from having an orgasm, but now I have a hard time, I think, ’cause there’s no foreplay and he cums too quick. It leaves me feeling very used.
He feels bad and says that he can’t help it, that I turn him on and that he doesn’t know how to ( or even want to ) stop when he comes close to orgasm to take care of my needs first. It doesn’t always happen, but I find that things are done too fast and sometimes it hurts because I’m not aroused enough.
How do I get the boy to think not only of his needs? How do I even know if he really does have a hard time controlling his orgasm? I really need to know if that is a real problem with men or if my sexual needs aren’t as important to him as his needs are to me.

Pissed off Paula


How can you call a one sided sex life "Great"?.

The fact that he says "he doesn’t want to stop" shows you that he doesn’t give a flying fuck if you cum or not.

He is just in it for himself (that behavior is acceptable and expected on a one night stand, but not from a fiance’) and why except a marriage proposal from a man who doesn’t even try to make you cum? Did you think he would change and suddenly and give a shit? Sex is usually stars out amazing with a partner and sadly gets a bit routine after a few years, but it sounds like it was never good if he doesn’t at least lick you until you cum (it could be all down hill from here unless you speak up big time!).

It’s not a problem with all men, like you asked, just the lazy ones.
Also, you ask how to get him to think of your needs? That is the simple part, two words: withhold pussy. Make it clear, that a quick one sided in & out is turning you off to the point where you can’t be bothered even fucking him for a while. He should make you cum first, either with his mouth or his fingers and/or a dildo, etc, if he can’t manage it with his cock, then let your two minute man go for it. He sounds like a selfish prick to me, good thing you figured out the sex life sucks before you tied the knot. Some will argue that Sex isn’t everything, but it is in a Sex column.


Ever since I’ve been on the pill, I have been really moody and needy. My boyfriend (of 2 years) likes the fact that we can fuck without a condom on, but hates it that I get moody. In fact, he actually gets pissed off at me for crying.

This makes it worse. He says it’s the pill but I think it’s his apathetic ways that make me sad. When a man rejects your
tears, does that mean he isn’t really into you? Shouldn’t he be holding me close and comforting me? Am I nuts?

Sad Eyed Sadie


The birth control pill works by tricking our body into thinking it’s always 3 months pregnant, that’s why we can’t get pregnant on the pill, because we are already pregnant (according to our hormone levels). How do pregnant woman behave? Emotional, clingy, insecure about their looks, sometimes jealous, sad with mood swings and they get chubby (no wonder so many men cheat when their woman is pregnant).

So, it’s no surprise that you feel that way, but if it gets too extreme, you need to try a different pill and get that shit under control because NO man wants a cry baby. They usually get fucking mad when their woman cries because it makes them feel helpless and guilty and they get mad at you for making them feel that way. Most prefer a strong, stable woman so they can be the softy ( Look at Ozzy and Sharon for example). Don’t bug him with unexplained, unwarranted tears, they can’t handle all that emotional turmoil!

Call a friend or relative when you are really down in the blues and talk it out to see what’s really bothering you or you will have a real reason to cry when he leaves your wimpy ass.