Last blog before I go to Europe…now with pictures ;)

In 12 hours I am flying to Europe again for two whole months. I will decide what I am doing next at that point. I spent most of the day today filming with a TV production company (won’t mention any names). They find me exciting and are thinking of doing a show with me, or even perhaps my own show. I have heard this all before so I won’t get excited about it now.

A woman named Jessie flew up from Houston to take the Dr. Dot test. In order to join my world wide team of Massage Assistants, you have to massage me to prove how good you are. I needed a body to massage today for the filming and so I massaged her. Then after that I was interviewed for ages, all the while Jessie was pumping the parking meter with quarters so I wouldn’t get a ticket. She was such a big help and so fun, we got along great. When the TV crew left, she massaged me and I was very impressed. When I told her "You’re hired" her eyes filled with tears of joy, it was so cute! I felt like Donald Trump for a minute. But just a minute. Then she and I went to the Hard Rock Cafe at Times Square. It is fairly new and I haven’t seen it yet. It was gorgeous, fun and tasty. Jessi and I found out we have a LOT in common. Not just the fact that we are both rock chicks who do massage for a living, but she is a mom and can burp really loud too (not nearly as loud as I can, let’s get that straight). She went to 16 different schools ( I went to 15 different schools), she does massage to make her feel calm and so do I. That is the only place I get to think without some distraction. Anyways, then we walked around in the pouring rain, taking pictures when it stopped for a bit. It started again and we nipped into a shop to buy two tacky, 99 cent plastic rain bonnets.

   < Jessie at Times Square

    ^ How fucking gorgeous. NYC through my sun roof (taken with one hand while driving lol!)

We finally got to Smiths, an Irish bar that has karaoke on Tuesday nights. With my favorite karaoke Dj in NYC, Sabrina running the show, I knew we would have a blast. Jonesy showed up and suddenly the unimportant karoake contest that was going on, got serious lol. In the end, Jonesy won and I was runner up (big fucking deal). Jessie sang the last song. She didn’t sing anything all night long, then suddenly she whips out this rap. A long rap that she made up. It was fucking hilarious. Everyone was like WTF?


   ^ Jonesy and Jessie ( wearing her rain bonnet)-   and then Jonesy again with yours truly  (Jonesy is one of my best friends)

 I had more fun then I thought down in Georgia. It was soooooooooooo nice to see my Dad and the rest of the family again. His house is so big and in a peaceful spacious, friendly neighborhood, it was wonderful. I even got up around 11am/Noon every day, which is much earlier then normal. I actually got out into the sunlight every day! It was warm and sunny the whole time. There were no family feuds at all, just fun. We all went out for karaoke the last night I was there and during my AC/DC number I said "wake the fuck up people!" to get them going (all red necks in there watching sports etc). After my song, an older man came up to me (had chewing tobacco in his mouth and a trucker hat on) and said "You’re a foul mouthed young lady!" . I said "GOOD!". Then when it was my time to sing again, I said, "yes, it’s me, the Yankee again. I am a foul mouthed young lady. I would wash it out with soap but I’m afraid of getting a yeast infection". Then I sang Proud Mary and brought the house down. My whole family was doing back up from their table singing "Rollin, Rollin" .



  ^ Me singing "Proud Mary (Rollin’ Rollin’…)  and then the next day, hung over with my Dad, Chester. My Dad adopted me when I was one year old (he was only 17 years old, the same age as my Mom). He has shown me so much love and turned me onto Zappa, I owe him the world and more 🙂

                                   < My favorite Niece, Melissa. She is 10 but has the mind of a clever 20 year old. She squeezed a few massages out of me, even though everyone else had only one. She LOVES massage and was helping with the oil and lotion, blankets etc, when I was massaging everyone else. She even helped do the 4 handed massage on my Dad and Aunt. She did their feet while I did their back. I think she will grow up and be the next Rock and Roll Dr.!. I think she looks like Angelina Jolie a bit, she is breath takingly beautiful and smart as hell. There is no stopping this girl, look out! 🙂

I want to post pics of the whole Fam Damily but they are shy. Melissa is NOT shy, so there she is.


Figured out, slightly, how to use the new blog editor, took ages to post these pictures, but I had to share them, they were burning a hole in my pocket…. You would think that I would fall right into bed once I got to Berlin, but no, I had to go give a massage to a Sheik, part of the Royal Family of Saudi Arabia. Super wealthy, I think they rented out the whole Hotel. He told me about how the death penalty works over there. It is the reason there is hardly any crime over there. They still do the eye for an eye thing. If someone kills another they will be killed. If some one accidentally kills someone, it is up to the dead persons family if they are killed or not. The Saudis are Muslims and believe they will live eternally once they die if they did something good. So, sometimes others offer a few million to the relative of the dead person to "please, forgive them and let them live". What do they gain for that? They believe doing such a deed will ensure them eternal life once they die. In other words, they are trying to  buy good karma. He didn’t speak perfect English or German, but that is what I understood. It was a very interesting couple of hours for me (and hello, big tipper). He even showed me an execution video he took with his nokia cell phone. A man had his head chopped off for murder and all of the public got to see (they see every execution apparently). Now I will have pleasant dreams here in my freezing cold flat in Berlin. lol. Haven’t seen Jasmine yet, she is at another Protest. Always protesting Racism. That’s my girl.

Gotta sleep. xo