Ask Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

My boy friend hates to snuggle after sex, not even for a minute. During foreplay, he is really romantic and very touchy feely, which I love.  He says he loves me and it feels like he does when we have sex, but as soon as he climaxes, it’s like he can’t get away fast enough. I have asked him to stay and hold me but he just scoffs and breaks free. This makes me wonder if he really does love me or not. What’s a good way to get a guy to snuggle?


Dear Cindy,

Sounds harsh but ‘Men snuggle to fuck and women fuck to snuggle’. Yes, this is a generalization, but reasonably accurate. Don’t take it personally, just try to make the pre-sex snuggle last as long as possible. You could say something like "darling, sometimes I don’t mind a quickie, but lets really savor this now". There is no point in trying to force someone to do something just for your sake; imagine how horrible it would feel if he started snuggling after sex just to shut you up? That would be worse then no snuggle at all, no? If that’s the only problem you have, consider yourself lucky.

Dr. Dot

Hey Dr. Dot,

the girl I’m dating keeps pressuring me to marry her. I love her and all, but we are both young (she is 27 and I am 29). I want to keep my options open (what if someone way better crosses my path?). We have been dating for a year and all is well, we get along fine and the sex is great, I don’t see a reason to change anything. How can I keep her and the situation the same?

Randy Ralf

Dear Ralf,

Ask her "show me 5 happily married couples that you (or we) know and I will think about it". I am sure she will have a hard time finding 5 happily married couples (I only know one – my Dad and Step-mom) and I know folks all over the world. If by chance she does whip out 5 happily married couples and is still pushing you, and you really don’t want to lose her, get engaged, which can go smooth for a year of more and see how it goes. It’s not the end of the world and you can always divorce if you both feel it was a mistake (word: prenup). Or, tell her that marriage is an old fashioned idea that hardly works in this day and age and 50% or more end in divorce. Women love to get married for security and to have a lovely party with a pretty dress and to show everyone how in love you both are. You could always just have a "We’re in love" celebration with the dress and all, without the paper work and justice of the peace. Never do anything against your will though. True love is hard to find so don’t count on "someone better" coming along, that is just a gamble.

Dear Dr. Dot,

I have been seeing this hot guy now for a month and sometimes I sleep over his house (and vice versa) and this sometimes turns into long weekends in bed. The only problem I have is I have no idea how to fart around him.  I mean, my bathroom is right next to the bed room and if I let one rip, he would surely hear it. By the end of the weekend, I feel like a floatation device from holding all that gas in. It gets so bad that I don’t even want to screw because I’m afraid all that poking and prodding inside me will push out all those saved up farts. I am serious about this, I know it sounds silly, but I am going crazy. How long does one have to wait to fart out loud around a lover? I mean, everyone farts right?

Gassy Gail

Dear Gassy Gail,

When can one play the fart card, good question. I suppose you have to wait until the premiere of the awkward "I love you" comes up. First get comfortable with the "Love" part, then once you are both in love and have admitted you are in love verbally, you can break wind. Men think that women don’t fart. They are always shocked when it happens for the first time. Pussy farts seem to go over without even an eyebrow being raised but just plain farting is for some reason a complete turn off (unless you are in West Virginia). You could try the one cheek sneak, but never on a flat surface (this only works on a pillow or soft fluffy sofa). Try having a radio in your bathroom (and bring it to his as well) to blast out some loud rock music (ac/dc perhaps) to play when you go to the toilet. Just let ‘er rip when the music is loud and no one gets hurt (carry a small spray bottle of perfume with you or a match). Avoid carbonated drinks, Indian food and any kind of beans when you know you will see him. If it happens, just laugh about it and blame the dog/cat/hamster or him if you have to. You could always make it fun by warning him with the ever popular "Pull my finger".

 Dr. Dot

ps. Went to Atlanta, had more fun then I thought I would. It was SO great to see my Dad again, he is the best. Love him!!! Since I leave Thursday for Europe, the pics from my trip will have to wait. WAY to much to do right now, sleep is a thing of the past.