Ask Dr. Dot

                                 

Dear Dr. Dot,

I live at home with my parents even though I am 35 years old. I have two problems. First one, it is kind of embarrassing to tell girls that I live at home and secondly, how can I make them happy in bed and avoid the squealing? I am best friends with my parents but they don’t want to hear my sex life.

Chris M.

Dear Chris,

Nowadays, the economy forces many people to live with their folks. I personally know a lot of people who still live at home, male and female. Females living at home are accepted easier than the male who still lives at home. The sooner you tell the girl about your living arrangements, the better. Tell her you are saving up for a house and/or will move out once you meet “the one”. If she frowns or gives you shit about it, either move out for her or move onto a more tolerant girl. You could also say “this way I have more money to spend on dating” and show her a good time. As far as the squealing goes, bring her out for some karaoke before you bring her home. Have her sing some ‘Guns and Roses’ or ‘AC/DC’, that should help her lose her voice a bit (or bring her on a few scary roller coasters) you get the idea. If you can’t swing that, try to keep a finger or two in her mouth, she will hopefully suck your finger(s) and that will keep her quiet.

Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

For the last 2 months I have been dating a man who was dumped by his ex one month before he started dating me. He told me she “treated him like shit” but he still has feelings for her, especially now that she wants him back. I really like this guy, should I fight for him or let go? How can I make him forget her?

Alicia

Dear Alicia,

Fighting over a guy is about as useless as a cat flap in an Elephant house. Apparently he likes abuse, and unless you are willing to abuse him, let him go get his dose. Don’t take his wishy-washy ass back unless you too are into being treated like shit. It’s always best to ask a person when you first meet them, how long ago was their last relationship. Anything less than 6 months is bound to have some rebound trouble near by. I would tell him “don’t let the door hit you on the way out”. Do you really want to be second choice? I think not. Love works best when the man is more in love with the woman anyways; this man sounds like he is in love with another woman and if he can live without you, let him!

Dr. Dot