Project Object: the BEST Frank Zappa tribute band

I guess I was wrong assuming every one knew who Project Object was, or even what it is. My gal pal Elizabeth called me and asked if it was the name of a new secret blog I was building, aw, isn’t that cute.

No, Project Object is the next best thing to seeing Frank Zappa himself live. Last time I saw them was 2 years ago, waaay too long ago. But last Monday, April 4th they opened their “Social Insecurities” tour at the BB King club in NYC with a vengeance. The opening act was a Rush tribute band from Ohio called Momo’s Dance Party and they were fucking amazing. What a great combo, some Rush for an appetizer, then a big Frank Zappa feast to satisfy your hunger! If they come to your state, you must go check them out.

Before the show, I was backstage doing my usual groupie shit (nah, just joking!) I was rubbing down the band getting them all rubbery for the show. Napoleon was practicing his horns all the while, filling the halls with amazing sounds. He is over 60 years old (no one really knows, and he won’t tell, and why should he? It’s rude as hell to ask someone their age, keep this in mind when you meet me, got it?)

Napoleon Murphy Brock with his sax ^

 ^ Napoleon in action                                                   ^ Andre’  tears it up

Napoleon goes WAY back with Frank, google it if you want to dig deeper. Andre’ Cholmondeley is on lead guitar and shares vocals with Ike Wills, Frank’s former right hand man for years. Ike also plays guitar. Napoleon sings and plays a bunch of shit on stage, he moves around like he has hot ants in his pants, the man can move! He keeps the crowd laughing and wide awake with his crazy dancing and funny expressions, he cracks me UP!

< Napoleon is a freakin' sweet heart!

^ Andre’                                            and again with the song set list from Monday night’s show ^


          ^ Yay! See what you missed?                                                                    ^ Robbie on guitar (photo by Cristina)

^ The infamous IKE WILLIS

                                                                                                                             ^ That shot taken by Cristina Grohowski

Frank Zappa’s album Joe’s Garage has a song on it called “Wet t-shirt nite” and during that song, they act out a real Wet t-shirt contest, starring ‘Mary’ who is featured throughout the whole concept album (if you don’t have it yet, why the fuck not?). Anyhow, since I know the album inside and out and all of the lyrics, Andre’ and I thought it would be funny to have me play Mary and come on stage wearing a wife-beater shirt I bought at a cheesy tourist shop next store. Ike would have the honors of getting me all wet. We were afraid of getting all the equipment wet, so he poured the water on my breasts rather than spraying me like they do in real wet t-shirt contest (I’m assuming). So it was my first wet t-shirt contest and it was obvious I was gonna win, as there were no other tits involved except mine.

I have a video, thanks to Cristina, a fellow female Zappa fanatic, of me on stage, but it is currently too large to put on my blog, I am working on getting it shortened.

^ My tits look obnoxious in that shirt hanging there with no bra, tomb raider comes to mind

“And here comes the water!” Ike drenches me, good golly what a mess.

I was acting the part of Mary, saying all the lines like “Look I really need the 50 dollars, I gotta get home” etc, acting dumb as she is on the LP. It was fun, and Andre’ introduced me not as “The charming Mary Canoga park” but as “The charming Dr. Dot from Hoboken” and he plugged my web site after I left the stage, cheers for that Andre’ 🙂

^ Andre’ and I by Cristina Grohowski                                                   ^ Jimmy D and I (he drives the band everywhere) 

Ok, I look fucking ILL in all of these photos, pale, pasty, chubby, what the FUCK! I need a vacation ok? I need a massage and some Dirty Love! I never see the day light, stay on this computer way to much, soon I will grow fangs.


 < we can't forget Don Preston!

^ This was taken the last time I saw Project Object and Don was on key boards with them. He is one of the Mothers of Invention, in other words, he goes WAY WAY back with Frank Zappa and is a super cool dude. Project Object is really the only fix Zappa fans can count on for live entertainment. Every musician in the band is amazing. The bass player, Dave, is young and really humble. He fucking wails on bass but keeps a low profile. The new key board player, Eric, may look like an Army Sergeant, but he is beyond cool. I heard he just shaved off his wild red afro (he is from Norway I think, you know those crazy Viking type dudes!). And Glen on drums, he and I keep in touch all the time per email, but funny enough, he was “afraid” to get a massage this time, claims I was too brutal on him last time, but I think it’s because his gal pal was with him and NO girl likes to watch me tenderize her man hee hee.

If you want to see them and are too lazy/busy  to go to their web site, check this out:

All tickets for tour are now sold through musictoday. Check this page:

10 SUN Worcester MA Tammany Hall ADVANCE TICKETS>> CLICK HERE!!
11 MON Cambridge, MA Middle East opener>>Insidious Rays
12 TUE Providence, RI The Call
13 WED Travel/”Off”
14 THU Chicago, IL Martyrs
15 FRI Chicago, IL Martyrs opener>>Insidious Rays
16 SAT Taylor, MI (Detroit) Trolley Stop opener>>Insidious Rays
17 SUN Cleveland, OH Beachland Ballroom opener>>Insidious Rays
18 MON Pittsburgh, PA Mr. Small’s Funhouse opener>>Insidious Rays
19 TUE Buffalo, NY Club Infinity
4/20 WED Rochester, NY Milestones
21 THU Plains, PA River St Jazz
22 FRI Plains, PA River St Jazz opener>>Insidious Rays
23 SAT Baltimore, MD Funk Box
24 SUN Philly, PA World Café Live

this just in ..! TUES MAY 31-DON PRESTON w/Akashic Ensemble feat. Don Preston-Moog Legend! (Moog Voyager, computer, effects) Andre’ Cholmondeley (Moog Rogue, Moog effects, synths, samples), Cheri Jiosne (Moog effects, synth percussion, loops) –TUESDAY MAY 31 NYC – BB KING’S BLUES CLUB!!

You know his legendary performances on Zappa/Mothers albums like WAKA/JAWAKA and FILLMORE EAST-come see the pioneer of electronica at… BB Kings Blues Club @ MOOGFEST 2005 – The Third Annual celebration of all things Moog. come see one of the first people to ever play a Moog Synth- Don Preston, along with amazing artists like Edgar Winter, Bernie Worrell (P-FUNK), Jordan Rudess (Dream Theater), DJ Logic, Money Mark (Beastie Boys), Adam Holzman (fr. Miles Davis), Living Colour, Sabina & Didi (Brazilian Girls), Steve Molitz (Particle) and many more!! Stay tuned for more DON PRESTON dates May30-Jun5 2005.