Ask Dr. Dot (Massage trading and bed hog)

Dear Dr. Dot,

I took your advice on how to massage and have been massaging my guy for a while now. Problem is, he is too tired and/or lazy to return the favor. He rubs my feet for a few minutes while he watches the game and slacks off after 2 minutes. This is not a rewarding hobby.

Elizabeth, East Rutherford

Dear Elizabeth,

I have a standard solution for that one way street routine. I tell the guy, massage me for as long as you want me to massage you after. If he massages me for 20 minutes, he gets 20 minutes, if he is a lazy twat and only rubs me for 2 minutes, then that’s what he gets in return. Make sure he goes first 😉

Dr. Dot      Massage Therapist 

Dear Dot,

I have been screwing the same girl for months now. For some reason I can’t go to her place, so she always comes to mine for sex. My room is really small and my bed is a single bed so it is annoying when she sleeps over. How can I ask her to leave after sex without coming across as a bastard?   Sinister 

Jim  NYC

Dear Jim,          

Most of us would like a lover who comes over, shags us like a wild beast and then leaves quietly, but some like sleeping next to their partner. Tell her your bed is too small and you need your rest to function properly or you have a sleep disorder. If she puts up a fuss, suggest sleeping at her place if her bed is bigger. This should solve the mystery about her place and/or get your bed back to yourself after the romp.     Boy In Bed