Tag: sex

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot (November 2008)


Feel Free to ask me any question, I always change the names around, so know one will know your identity, except me. I answer all questions personally. You can find my columns on line, just google "Ask Dr. Dot". It also appears in Penthouse Forum every month as "Calling Dr. Dot".

x

Dr. Dot

 

 

Q.

My girlfriend and I broke up last Summer when she moved to Asia. But for the last year that we
 were living together we didn't have sex I started watching porn to satisfy myself. Now that I am
dating again, I seem to have a harder time staying stiff when I am with a woman. I don't have a
difficult time when I'm watching porn though. Obviously, I can get an erection. Am I addicted
 to porn, or have I just developed the beginnings of ED? What can I do to figure this out?
I just don't know what's normal anymore. I never had this problem in my life.
Softie Sal

 

A.
"ED"? Wtf does that stand for? Eating disorder? Exiguous Dick?
It could be your penis is rebelling. He is pissed the fuck off he lived with
a pussy for a year and didn't have any access at all, only your hand was there for him. Now he
 is showing YOU who's boss. Take control again and retrain him.  Your cock is spoiled by
your over tentative hand. No one can fuck you like you and porn if fun but it can make men lazy.
 There is no need for bringing your hand out to dinner, giving it compliments or foreplay.
Porn provides the scene and your hand provides the "pussy". Time to break up the monotony
 and prepare for real pussy. Cut back a bit on the porn and wank once a day
 instead of 4 times a day for example. It's hard for a normal girl to compete with a Double-Penetration-hungry
 porn star on her first date. Try to start all over again, getting excited over a date, her smell, glimpse of cleavage,
possibility of a first kiss, the anticipation, and the foreplay when it finally comes. Kind of like putting a fat
 kid on a diet, even though it's parents own a Haagen Daz ice cream shop. It must be done.

 

Q.
I am a randy young woman, with a slammin' sex life. What bothers me though is
how often I have to put the breaks on spicy make out sessions when it comes to
the penetration point. Most of the time, the men I make out with don't have condoms
but still want to fuck. Naturally I say no and they either are upset that I don't have
any on me or that I won't let them shag me without a condom. Why are men so
willing to dive into an unknown pussy without protection? Is it because I look
so innocent or are they just dumb? And is it our job as females to suddenly be
the condom machine?
Pissed off Patti

 

A.
They may be so willing to dive in without protection because
they’ve probably been lucky so far, not having experienced a STD
that turned their cock purple with red spots or having knocked up a girl
on a one night stand. These fearless, horny buggers who, thanks to
their raging hard on, aren't thinking at all. I’d be lying if I said protected sex feels
better than bareback but you have to protect yourself from Aids, STDs and pregnancy,
unless you’re in a long-term monogamous relationship.
A man expecting the lady to carry condoms is as arrogant as it is ignorant.
We don't own a cock, so we shouldn't have to tote rubbers around; they
don't own a pussy and shouldn't have to supply us with tampons. Next time
you get busy with a man who hasn’t any protection,
 take a walk to the corner shop together and make him buy condoms. This will
 teach him that you are a safe, responsible,
yet fun and eager. Great combo.

Q.
I’m 18, I’ve never had a proper girlfriend before although there’s
a girl in my life currently who I really want to date. I’m totally straight, there’s no
question about that and I love being a man. The thing is that I like dressing up in
women’s clothes. I don’t know what it is that  makes me do it but I can't help it.
 What makes it worse is the fact that they’re my sister’s clothes. I don’t feel anything
 sexual towards her at ALL.
I want to stop but whenever I try and resist the temptation, I fail. I always tell myself
'right you’re not going to dress up' then 5 minutes later I am admiring myself dressed up.
 Would any girl be completely scared off by this sort of thing if I tried to tell her about it?

Dressed up Dan

 

A.
You may as well just embrace your fetish now and get it over with, rather than struggling with it
for years, going to therapy which you don't need, blah blah blah. We ALL have our weird sides,
and I mean everyone. Young girls may not understand this habit of yours, but older women will.
Thing is, you shouldn't change for anyone. You like the feel and look of women's clothes on your
body and who can blame you? Our clothes look and feel sexier than men's clothes. Perhaps this
is your cue to take up a career in Fashion. Lots of straight men make ladies clothes and I know
quite a few straight men; some rock stars even, which love to cross dress in private. It's not a
a big deal, honest. There is no sense in hiding things from the girls you choose to date. Don't tell
them until you are sure you can trust them and you can even make it fun like when you are both
naked before/after sex, just get up and try her clothes on; it will surely make her giggle. Make her
try your clothes on as well. Don't sit them down for a serious chat about your habit, just slowly
weave it into things. I am sure they have strange habits they keep from you as well. Life would
be boring as fuck if we were all just plain, boring and straight laced. Be proud that you're different.

Q.
A lot of my exes, past lovers and current girlfriend wouldn't let me make them cum. Why is this?
I get them right to it and they stop me. Do or did they want us to cum together maybe?
 Or with my most recent ex, she was very shy. Maybe she was shy about cumming in front of me?
Honestly, their climax is  more important to me than my own and I wanted to know what you have
 to say about it.

Climax Carl


A.
It could be a control issue, afraid to lose control and hand it over to you. Maybe they can't let their hair down,
have fun and give into pleasure. Sometimes, women never find out HOW to cum. It's obviously not as easy
for girls to cum as it is for guys. Since everyone is different, the only way you will find out, is by asking each
girl you get in the sack. Just come right out
and ask them if it happens again. Say, ""Can you make yourself cum?” If she says "yes" then ask her to show
 you how she does it. Bed is no place to be shy or afraid to ask questions.

 

 

Q.
Hoping your advice will save my love life. I have always been the giver in my
relationship and now I am thinking of asking my woman to marry me. We have an outrageous sexy life and have been together for 2 years and we still make each other crazy in bed. I love her a lot but she has sometimes been unkind. She is demanding and no matter how much I give, it never seems to be enough. Her attitude does turn me on but I wonder if she will ever treat me a bit better, like if I ask for her hand in marriage. I would marry her but wonder if this will give away all my power?
Every time I pull away from her she tries to pull me back. I feel like
things have come to a head and its do or die. Should I pop the question? (I swear I treat her soooooo good.)

Whipped Woody

A.
Everyone is "unkind" now and then. If you think marriage
will change things, you need to get a grip. If you find yourself
pulling away from her, then marrying her is a stupid idea.
Marriage is not even necessary anymore. People do not
need a contract to love one another. A big party to celebrate
your love and commitment should satisfy everyone's need
to wear tacky dresses and receive presents from friends and
family, but why the contract? The very thing that people
think will make them feel like they've "sealed the deal" is the
same thing that leaves them craving for regular sex, which
seldom occurs in a marriage, hence the fact that most marriages
end in divorce anyways. If she is mean to you, grow some balls
and ask her why. If things don't improve, move on and find
a woman who loves a giver (there are plenty of them out there).

Q.

I am a 23 year old female, and was wondering if you had any suggestions as to
how to make "doggy style" feel better for me. For some reason, when my fiancé
and I try this, it is uncomfortable EVERYTIME. Sometimes painful, sometimes just
flat out UNCOMFORTABLE! I know He loves it, as he keeps asking me to do it, so we need to perfect this.

Any tips?! thanks!

Don’t-like-the-Doggy Daisy

A.
I am guessing your man has a long schlong. You can try it standing, and cross
your legs tight when he is in you, to be able to control how deep and hard he
prods you but squeezing his cock with your pussy (crossed legs make the grip
tighter). If you do it on the bed, tell him to go in you, and then carefully lie flat
On your stomach, with him in you, and again, close your legs together tightly
And cross your legs. He will love the tighter grip and you will love the fact
He isn't playing pool with your ovaries anymore. If it STILL hurts, try to keep
One hand on the base of his cock while he fucks you to control how deep he
Goes. If none of that works, stop doing it doggy style. Get on top of him and
squat on him so you can control the pressure. You may have a cyst or two on
your ovaries, which is very common. You can either have them removed or
start taking the pill, which pretty much makes them disappear.

 

 

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot (September 6, 2008)

Feel free to send me your questions about love, sex and relationships. Don't be shy, I always change the names, your secret is safe with me 😉

 

 
 http://www.ibrokemypenis.com/  

Q.
I have been dating this really special guy (age 30) for 6 months. We took our time getting to know each other and have been having sex for the last two months.
Last time we were shagging, I got on top and squatted on his cock and apparently slammed down on it the wrong way or too hard, or something and he stopped me and said his dick hurts. We couldn't continue, even though we tried, as he was in
pain and his prick was swollen. He left and sent me a text message a few hours later and said he was in the emergency room as I had broken his dick! He stayed in there THREE days and the worst part of all of this is he told his parents, as they needed to bring him clothes and I haven't even MET them yet. I am horrified. How can I continue seeing this man and how should I behave if I meet the parents? SOS!

Vicious Vagina

A.
Oddly enough, I have broken a cock before too. It DOES happen. Telling his parents
means he is an open, honest guy who obviously has a good relationship to his folks,
which is a good think (he could have lied and said he did it while wanking). The best
way to handle this situation is with humor. If/when you meet them, don't apologize
for fucking their son so hard you snapped his willy in half, just leave it and if THEY

mention it, make a little joke like "yes, we were "driving" recklessly that evening"

and let it slide. They are probably proud of their son for being open, honest and having

wild sex like they surely used to.

Q.
I am a 31-year-old brother and my girlfriend, age 23 and I got engaged 3 months ago. Recently she got all dolled up and went out with the girls. They went out dancing and she came home around 3am in a giggly, sexy mood and I am pleased she had fun. We start making out and she says she needs to go to the bathroom. I could hear the shower going so I go in to surprise her. She was washing her pussy and a load of cum was sliding down her leg. I wiped it off and smelt it. It was 100% cum! I stormed out and slept over one of my homies houses.  DEVASTATED DOES NOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL. I demanded the truth and she admitted EVERYTHING; some guy bought her drinks, she sat in his lap and he felt up her legs and arse then he got his dick out under her skirt and she sat on it. Later they fucked again out the back of the club. Of course she used the “drunk" excuse. She has apologized 50 times already. I don't know what the fuck to do.
Shittin’ Kittens   


A.
Although I am aware that being 100% physically true is almost impossible, she crossed the line by putting you in GREAT danger. Had you not walked in and snatched the cum wad from her thigh, you would have never known. She can’t be trusted. The worst part is she didn't use a condom. This cannot be tolerated. If she that ignorant and irresponsible that she can go fuck a stranger in a bar without a condom, why would you want to keep her around? If you stay with her your self-esteem, confidence and most importantly your life will be in constant state of fear and danger.  Show the whore the door.

 

Q.

My boyfriend and I have great sex but whenever he is about to ejaculate he withdraws and wanks over my tits or face or stomach. He very rarely comes inside me. I have never had an orgasm with him because he always withdraws and wanks over me.  I am then left feeling frustrated. I have been with him 2 years but don’t know how to talk to him about this.  He watches a lot of porn and I think that because most of the porn he watches this is what the blokes do, he thinks that is the norm.
Frustrated Fiona


A.
Men shoot their spunk over a woman for numerous reasons (1) In their subconscious they may think
the girl won't get pregnant if they pull out (2) It's fun to watch themselves mark their territory
(3) They are curious as to how exactly big that batch is.
 He should be grateful he has such a good sport as a partner as some girls would get offended when a man sprays his baby gravy all over them. I am guessing he never asks about you having an orgasm and if not, you should learn to speak your mind.  The fact that he is doing something that annoys you is partly your fault because how the fuck is he supposed to know it bothers you if you don't speak up? I assume he isn't a mind reader.
Just come right out and say, "Darling, would you stay with a girl who can't make you cum?” Then he will probably give you a dirty look and answer, "fuck no! why?" then you say, "well, I know it's
 my fault for not saying anything, but I never, ever cum with you, in fact I would prefer you cum IN me sometimes, not just on me, so lets try something different please". If you don't whip up the courage
to say something, then you deserve to just be his loving cum rag.

Q.
I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months, and things have been great,
 but are moving into a beyond the 'surface' stage of our relationship.I haven't
had something like this in awhile and he was very romantic and generous with his
word up until recently. He isn’t seeing someone else and he contacts me
regularly but the sweetness has faded a little. He’s very stressed at work
and the last time I saw him he looked tired and admitted that he takes on
too much and then feels overwhelmed. I freaked a little when he said he has to
find balance. I took it personally because when I had heard that before, it meant that they were
disappearing,and that perhaps I had done something to change their mind.  In my heart, I know
he really cares about me, but I am afraid. He’s invited me to go with his family for
dinner next week, but that urgency to see me has faded and he’s really putting himself
first these past days.I understand that, but I still get fearful that my romantic guy won't come
back.  I apologized for the mini-freak out and explained to him my fears. He was all ears
and philosophical about it.  I just wish I could relax and not worry so much. Any thoughts?
Fearful Freda

A.
You need to chill. Men can smell insecurity, fear and doubt like a dog
can smell another dogs ass miles away.
It’s natural for things to calm after a few months. The only way to keep things
really spicy is to only see each other once a week, but then you can never really
get closer. You’re hooked on that romantic high; that addictive butterfly effect
 a fresh
love has on everyone, but love never stays that intoxicating. Eventually romance turns
 into a familiarity; there is no way of avoiding it. We would all like our lover to be
 mad about us, to imagine they only think of us when they wank, but it's just bullshit;
that only exists in romance flicks.
You shouldn’t have freaked out. Less words and tantrums; more confidence and calm will
prevent them from disappearing. Men need space, patience and above all, less drama.
Realize that you are worth hanging around for and try to feel so happy in your
own shell, that even if you were alone, you would be fine. Men can sense that
and feel free. Just like being in a room alone with a cat, if you close the door,
the cat wants OUT now. If you leave the door a bit open, he will want to sit on
your lap and pine for your attention.

Posted on

The guilt is going to kill me

I am so f*cking busy since I landed, massage clients of mine are kind of fighting over who gets the next massage. They have been waiting for months, so new clients sadly have to wait a bit. This one man has been asking for a massage the last couple days and I told him he could have one next week. Now I feel like a prick. Look what he wrote me today:

 

 

"We had spoken / e-mailed several months ago. I had read some of your advice in the New York Press. I had written to you and you always responded to me in a very funny and considerate way. As a normal man, your picture attached to your
work always drove me crazy. Anyway, I'm in the Army Reserves and my unit is
being activated. I am leaving the city today and will be head to Camp Shelby,
Mississippi on September 3rd to get ready for our deployment. for the past few
weeks, I've been doing some things in the city that I had thought about but
never did. For example, earlier this month I went to my first Yankees game.
I've been hitting restaurants that I've seen but never tried. Things like that.
Yesterday I got this wild idea that perhaps I would be able to meet you so I
took a chance and decided to write. I should have planned ahead but I won't get
into my organizational abilities. Unfortunately, I will have to wait many
months until I get the opportunity to meet you.

Thank you for getting back to me.

Brian" 
 

 I hope he makes it back to the US alive. 

Fuck George Bush and the Government for sending so many people to fight wars he started. I was thinking something last night that will sound like me nagging AGAIN, but it's my blog and I will vent if I want to. So there. One thing that pisses me off SO MUCH about the USA is the fucking AIR CONDITIONING. It is SO FUCKING COLD in all restaurants, shops, cafes, bars, cars, homes, hotels, omfg!!! I went into Blimpies last night (sandwich shop that originated in Hoboken, NJ) and ordered a healthy sub on whole wheat but it was BELOW zero in there (all employees wearing heavy sweat shirts, jeans, hats) that I HAD to take it to go. I ate it in my fucking car outside. I turned blue just waiting for them to put the sandwich together, couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there.  You go out to eat here and it's colder than a meat locker. THEN they serve you ICE WATER. OMFG. I don't know ANYONE in Europe who has an air condition and my friends all think I am a diva because I have a fan in my room. A tiny, plastic fan, mostly to drown out the noise of my annoying neighbors who love to recycle their glass bottles at 8 am. My friends whine about how much electricity my fan is using. ha ha. If they ONLY knew what goes on over here in yank land. 

 Jasmine told me during her school orientation she had to wear a jacket, hat and scarf as she was freezing. What the FUCK is wrong with this place? Every apartment I have been in has at LEAST two air conditioners running full power, full time. NO WONDER there is an energy crisis. Come on people. It is summer, enjoy the summer weather. You HAVE to bring so much clothing with you when you go out here. It is HOT as FUCK outside, but if you go ANYWHERE indoors, you freeze your cunt off. Most Americans are over weight, which makes them sweat and feel extra hot, so they "need" the air conditioning so they don't sweat like a pig. If everyone would eat less, use less energy, the world MIGHT start to like us. BUT NO, we were NEVER taught to think this way here in the USA. No one teaches you to turn off lights when you leave a room, turn down the heat if you don't need it, recycle, etc. They just consume, consume, CONSUME without thinking "hey, maybe I should do my part and save electricity and energy and recycle as the world is only getting more and more crowded and someday energy supplies may deplete!". You would think the massive BLACK OUTS they have would wake people up. BUT NO! The Government would never hold a press conference and say "come on people!!! recycle or fucking die!!" because we have to keep up the "land of the free" charade. 

Land of the FREE: Free to waste, free to ignore, free to consume without any concerns of the rest of the world, which, like it or not, do effect everyone. I find myself wearing MORE clothes in the summer here than I do in the winter. It's out of control. THEN there are the dryers. Everyone in the USA has a dryer to dry their clothes. I don't know ANYONE in Germany that owns a dryer. NO ONE. We hang our shit dry and it's no big deal. Clothes last MUCH longer that way anyways. I even hung Jasmine's cloth diapers dry every fucking day. Took a while, but it feels great to conserve. It's hard coming back here to the land of waste, I mean, plenty. 

Cracked me up the other day (more like a smirk of disbelief) when they were discussing on the news how Californians are the first folk in the USA to start taking care of their left over food wastes. AS IN, instead of throwing your orange peels and left over food in the normal trash, they put it all in a special container, handed out to them by the town office and it gets picked up and used as fuel/soil fertilizer. NO FUCKING SHIT Sherlock. I have been doing that, just like everyone else in Germany and most of Europe for YEARS. In the USA, they even have garbage disposals built into their sinks and they STILL throw left overs in the trash, which is why we have land fill problems. We have to wake up here and change the way we do things. It's so annoying how far "we" are behind here in the USA. Very sad. I apologize for our ignorance. Sorry. 

x

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot July 27 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy..

Q.
Hallo Dr. Dot. I read the ExBerliner magazine every month, and your column is the first page I
turn to. Honest. I have a quick clean question. I am a single, never married 45 year old Hispanic
 male, well educated (2 degrees), not bad looking I am told, good shape (like to work out) etc.etc.
 but I cannot find a date. You have heard it before I am sure. I am thinking of taking dance classes
 to possibly meet interesting women. Good idea or bad idea. What kind of dancing should I learn.
 I have no experience at all with any type of dancing. How should I approach this decision? Thank
You very, very much Dr. Dot.
Pimpin’ Pedro


A.
Dance classes, along with cooking and yoga classes are excellent places to pull. Salsa lessons would
 ensure you meet lots of ladies who either already have a fiery rhythm, or want one. Such classes
 are usually predominantly female and you would end up a popular dance partner. It's tough finding
love in a big city but as a single male, the odds are on your side (lots of gays mean, lots of single
ladies). Make sure your breath is ALWAYS fresh and buy a fresh scent: 'Angle Men' (A-men) from Thierry Mugler
 or Fahrenheit from Christian Dior, these scents make women weak in the knees.

Q.
My girlfriend only wants to shag after lunch. In the morning I wake up and
 am ready for a shag before breakfast; while she's still a zombie. At night
 she's "too tired". Only after lunch does she suddenly get really fucking
 horny but I'm usually at work! Any tricks to turning her on in the early hours?
Morning Muffin Man


 		 
   

A.
Try to take a lunch break when she calls and is horny, run home, shag her, then
 go back to work with a shit eating grin on your face.
Saying 'no' to a hungry pussy is just wrong. About her being "tired" at night,
tell her "just let me do all the work honey, just lay there and let me fuck you".
 Those words usually work like "open sesame".

Q.
Is it gay for a guy to pee sitting down?
Lazy Luke


 		 
   

A.
Having dated a few European men, I can tell you, it’s rather popular over there.
Maybe their wives have more effective ways of threatening them if they leave the
seat up. But then again, peeing while sitting down enables you to:
– Make sure you get all your piss in the bowl
– Takes the weight off your feet
– Requires less concentration
– Getting your face ripped off by females for leaving the seat up doesn’t happen
– Gives you the option of an unplanned dump, should the need arise.
What's not to love? Why let a position define your sexuality? I say go for it,
 no one is supposed to see you do your business anyways. The only disadvantage
 is trying to stuff your morning stiffy down into the bowl.

 

Q.
My wife, god bless her, is 56 and still has her regular periods. When will
it be safe to stop fucking her with a Johnny?
Condom Hell-Holger

A.
You should be happy and proud that you married such a
healthy, ripe woman that still ovulates at age 56. This means she can still get
 pregnant, but from the sounds of things, you two have thrown in the procreating
 towel. If so, why not get snipped? Or she could have her tubes cut and tied.
 You could also have her start taking birth control pills OR use the 'Persona' method.
 A preventive device found in every Pharmacy (also called Clear Blue).

< Monitor Method

 

IUD ^ 

She would just keep close tabs with this gadget, finding out when she is most fertile (danger days).
 I am surprised you two haven't tried such things yet as one of the best
parts about being married is being able to ditch the condoms for more pleasurable
 forms of birth control, like the pill or IUD, Diaphragm, the ring or this monitoring
 system I just mentioned. I hope you will be riding bareback again soon.

Q.
I am in a difficult relationship, well not difficult but a confusing one.  At first
 we were friends, mostly via the internet, and then when I moved closer to him, we
started to see each other a lot more; we have been seeing each other (fucking) for
the past 3 months.  I know that he likes me and he tells me so,  he tells me that if
I was closer to him I would be his girl or he would be seeing me everyday; however
when he returns home it’s a different story.  He only will communicate via IM or
 myspace and speaking of that I’m last on his list.
Sometimes I feel that he just doesn't want to be bothered…and considering we are friends;
 I will say, hey? do you need some time alone? (instead of making me sit in front of
the damn pc while he is busy chatting with other ppl)..he just says, don’t be silly but
 then…I end up sitting and waiting.

 I have confronted him in a nice way of course and asked where do I stand with him?
  His response was that, he is confused and unsure what he wants at the moment.  I asked
him if he is keeping his options open?  His response is NO.  He also states that, he
wouldn't like it if I was with someone else…because he wouldn’t be with someone else.
 This is just confusing again!

This is hard for me because I am so in love with him and when he is here I know he is
 mine it’s when he is gone that I feel lost and confused and hopeless.  I don’t want to
loose our friendship but I just don’t know where I stand with him or what he wants but
 then again, neither does he.
Blinded by Love,

 Layla

A.
My advice, start seeing other people as it sounds to me like he has another, even if he
says he doesn't. It’s been said “women can fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships”.
 If he was that into you, he would be begging you to move closer, to let him move near you,
 or to at least see you more often. He would call, rather than chat with you like an online buddy.

When a man is in love and hell bent on making sure the girl is HIS, they don't behave like
 the wanker you are describing. Sorry but I don’t sugar coat. He is taking advantage of you;
open your eyes and realize you are just his fuck buddy and nothing more.
Get gorgeous, get busy and stop "waiting" around for that indecisive fuck face.

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot July 3rd 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy..

Q.
My Fiancé says he is scared he can't have kids because his cum looks
like water. What is this caused by & is he able to have kids still? He has not had a sex drive since his ex gave his baby up for adoption. When we do have sexual intercourse he only last 5-15 mins. Not amused!

Quickie Queen

A.
Sperm consistency always varies. Diet, exercise and frequency of sex can all dictate how thick or watery his juice will be.

Sperm is constantly being made. Even if he just shot his load, a new batch is already in the making and you never know if it will be clear, cloudy, thin or chunky style.
Semen quantity differs among individuals and can also change during different times of a man’s life. Older men usually make a milky or pearly-white spunk and if the guy doesn't empty his balls regularly, it can turn a bit yellow and get really thick like clam (OMG!) chowder. A lot of factors go into the appearance and consistency of semen, including diet and ejaculation frequency. Changing any of these can alter the way your semen looks.
A nocturnal ejaculation may have more prostate fluid in it (which is whiter and thicker),
while a daytime ejaculation may have more sperm and fluid from the seminal vesicles, which tends to be clearer and less viscous. You say he already produced a child, so I would tell him not to worry about being impotent AND you say his sperm is very watery, so if he isn't fucking you, he must be wanking a lot, when you aren't around. This may help him feel (1) Good (2) In control. Since he lost control of his child, wanking may make him feel in control of at least his cock. If he is that afraid, he should go to the Doctor and have it checked out but I think it would be a waste of time and money and make an already tense, unfortunate situation become that more tense, hence killing his sex drive even more. Just avoid talking about it and give him some sexy back rubs while wearing some hot undies. Try to have him get you off before he even attempts one of those 5 minute in and out escapades. Tsk Tsk!


Q.
Why is it I can only cum when I think about my husband having sex with his ex girlfriends? Any details he has given me race through my head and I act them out while fucking him and that is the ONLY way I can get off. I’ve never told him as I am afraid he would think I am nuts.

Am I?
Pervy Pam

A.
Wanting to love your partners past, right down to the juicy parts is nothing to be ashamed or freaked out about.
 A lot of people have to let their mind wander while fucking to cum, as sometimes the here and now is either
too much or too little and letting your imagination take over to get yourself off is a common pastime. I think
it means you are just very into his sexuality and imagining him fucking other girls is a turn on. A few people
 I know have admitted to doing the same thing, just relax and enjoy your home made, in-house porn.

Q.
I am also a massage therapist and want your opinion. Sometimes when I massage male clients,
they do obnoxious things that make me feel very awkward. For example, some point their penis
 South when they lay on their stomachs and I massage their back and back of their legs.
I then have to look at their cock the whole time and this grosses me out. Another popular
 antic is some men lift their asses up off the table so they are almost kneeling. What the hell?
 This makes me so nervous, I am thinking of just massaging females from now on.
Miss Massage



A.
Simply ask the client to “Please point your member North so I don’t accidentally graze it
 with my short fingernails” should frighten their cock as soon the words leave your mouth.
 If they moan about it, insist you can’t concentrate and/or cover “it” with the sheet/towel
and only work on one side at a time, keeping his jewels covered. You could be cheeky and say
“Look, it’s bad enough I have to see your balls squished onto my massage table, do us a favor
 and pack your meat up under your belly”. Humor helps in stiff situations. If they have their
 ass up in the air, it means their ass is an attention whore, so why let it down? Put one
 hand on top of your other hand and use full force when slamming his ass down onto the table.
 He will get the message loud and clear without you even speaking. If he asks, tell him it’s
the “Slam dunk method”.

Q.
For a year I have been seeing someone I have many things in common with, except I don't smoke pot
or do prescription drugs for pain and anxiety.  He always made me feel beautiful, respected and
pursued.  He always made the calls and arranged the dates.  But, he has made it clear to me he
doesn't like to be confronted or be the target of expressed anger.  Once Saturday night we went
out with his sister and her boyfriend to a music rave.  He took a walk with the boyfriend and left
 me with his sister.  When the boyfriend returned 15 minutes later he was alone.  My boyfriend
stayed in another part of the hotel watching some girl band singing and dancing by himself. He
stayed away almost an hour and I found him just because I was looking for something to do. His sister

had to set up her own band.  He came over to me buy I was livid. When he realized I was angry he froze me
out of the conversation later when the 4 of us ordered drinks at the bar. I was hurt and angry the
 rest of the night.  When our date was over he was annoyed at my anger.  He didn't call me for 2 weeks.
Then we exchanged a few emails, he called Easter and on my birthday. I couldn't see him the day he
 invited me to celebrate my birthday over a week ago, and I haven't heard from him since.  Should I
let him go? I rarely confront him, but I can't never get angry.
Fed Up Franny


A.
As nice as he may be, this ganja smoking Peter Pan is lost in his
own little never-never land. He can’t behave anyway
he wants and forbid any backlash. He is probably the youngest
child or a spoiled only child who always got his way.
I would ignore him and move on unless you want to walk on
eggshells your whole life long (exhausting!). If you really can’t live
without this sensitive control freak, let him do all the work, all of
the contacting and planning. Trying to turn a pot head/pill popper
 into a caring, thoughtful partner is an uphill battle. He sounds about
 as useful as a cat flap in an elephant house.

Q.
Why does it burn when my boyfriend cums in me?
Burning Bush Kate

 


A.
Think back. Did all of your other lover’s spunk burn you? If you have
 both been tested for STD’s and came out clean, this could be mother
natures way of saying "this guy is not the right one for you". Smell
and the way one makes you feel can really say a lot about a lover.
 “Love” should feel great, not painful and like someone used a flame
 thrower on your snatch.

Q.
On a recent night out with the girls, I fell ill and came home much earlier than I had planned
only to walk in on a horrifying scene. I am almost too embarrassed to even write it. My
husband was letting our dog lick his balls in the bathroom. I almost fainted when I saw this.
He poured chocolate sauce all over his testicles, making a huge mess on the floor and
submitted our poor dog to a crude act. I left and slept at my sisters house and instead of
being able to pour my heart out, I just can't get the courage to tell anyone but you. I am back at
home now but things are awkward between my man and I; I am hurt, angry and confused.
I feel he has cheated on me, but has he? I mean is that cheating? Is that sick enough that I should leave him?
Should he see a shrink? He claims he was just bored.
Humiliated Hannah

A.
*NOTE: This is the kind of question that makes people think I make them up but I don’t, the world is just full of horn dogs* Sigh.
If you really love him and this is the only problem, you may want to start licking his balls so your
dog doesn't have to do it anymore.. Everyone does daft, embarrassing things and you just happened to walk in on one of his.

Not cool using animals for sexual pleasure but life goes on. Buy a rubber tablecloth and some sugar free chocolate sauce

(to avoid any yeast infections) and show him you too, can lick his chocolate covered balls.

Posted on

OMG
   


Berlin is happier than ever right now. The Turks are happy as they won the other night and now Germany won against Portugal, so we have happy Turks along side Happy Germans, enjoying the warm weather. Life is grand here apart from the fucking construction workers who have been doing who knows WHAT since January in my court yard, who start making EXTREME noise at 7:30 am sharp, which leaves me about, uh, one hour of silences after my head hits the pillow at 6am as always. Lucky for them there are laws protecting them, ha ha.

 

So today (June 19th) is Jasmine's 19th birthday. OMG! Just thought I would throw that out there, she won't want me going on and on about it. sigh. I  am so swamped lately that even thinking about blogging makes me nervous. I have so much to write and so many pictures to crop and upload and explain. Perhaps I will find time this weekend to put a dent in the France and Italy blog. Jesus I have to much catching up to do AND my New Years resolution was to actually re-write my WHOLE book again so I can see if anyone wants to publish it. Thing is, I get asked several times a day per email "where can I find your book" or "where can I buy your book?" so I know there is a demand for it and I know it will help me sleep getting all of this info out of my fucking head (like taking a huge mental dump) so I can free up memory space on my mind before I get Alzheimers and forget it all. Feck!

So much to do everyday, so many emails and columns to write that I never get around to the fun writing.. I think it's better to have too much to do than not enough. I simply can NOT understand people who get bored. WHAT? Bored? I just don't comprehend. I have no time to be bored. There is always something to do, in fact, more than one thing to do; I'm not even bored when I sleep, I have naughty dreams keeping me entertained.

Oh, I saw the Sex and the City movie tonight and LOVED IT!!! I went with  my girlfriend Martina (who looks, dresses and acts just like Charlotte AND is 7 months pregnant, so at the part in the film where Charlotte was super pregnant, it was so funny looking at Martina!). Anyways the film is fabulous and we want MORE! On another note, I watched an episode of WEEDS, which everyone told me about; told me how much I would love it. HATED IT. What a waste of time that was. STUPID. Don't waste your time. Sometimes before I sleep, Pooh and I watch something on my MAC lap top (which I LOVE now by the way) and it's usually Meerkat Manor or Gene Simmon's Family Jewels which I order from iTunes. LOVE THEM.

 

I am just rambling on now, I have to get to bed before the trash men and construction workers start making their war sounds. Will write again soon,

x 

   
   
Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot May 23, 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy..

 

Q.
I have met lots of guys who don't care what the woman wants but I've
met a couple who ask me what I want does this mean the feelings run deeper or
they are still after that one thing?
I've also have heard that if a guy helps you out with your bra and clothes
he loves you. Is this true or does this just show that he is a master player?
Young and curious

A.
Unless the man is flaming gay, he will want pussy. We are put on this earth to breed,
so naturally, they are after that "one thing". Their behavior is the important thing.
If they make you laugh, treat you well and you can feel that they love you, then they do.
Ignore the words; they can blind your judgment. You can't evaluate a man's love by things
like removing your knickers or asking how you like your oral, that's too general. Good men and players
alike will do such things. A man can say "I love you" a million times, but
if he is treating you like shit, what good are the mandatory verbal treats? It's his actions,
not his words that tell the truth.
 

Q.
My ex will NOT stop stalking me. He creates different email addresses and myspace accounts just
to torment and threaten me. All I did wrong was NOT want him anymore. It seems I have to pay
for that "mistake" the rest of my life. What is the best way to stop such a prick in his tracks?
Petrified Patty

A.
Print out all of his nasty messages; photocopy them several times, along with a picture of his face
attached to the stack of papers and bring them to his work/office/parents (whoever means the
most to him). Do the same with the emails, copy and paste them all into one long message and send
it to everyone you both know and in the subject line write "Isn't he a sweet heart?". If he keeps
bothering you, bring one of the "booklets" to the local police so they can keep it on file.
Asking a 6 foot tall male friend to visit him can't hurt either. Hammer time.

Q.
My husband and I have broken up a few times due to his inability to remain physically true. We
 are both Italian, so cheating usually isn't grounds for divorce (bad attitude is). After a 6
month break, we finally moved back in together and all is well except he won't make love to me.
Recently we were driving in my car, phone rang and it was a woman who said she has been seeing
 my husband for the last 20 years and that he married me secretly so she wouldn't find out and
 that he was two timing me. I knew about this skank already and he promised me he would delete
her number. I forced him to show me his cell phone. Her fucking number was still in there. I made
 him delete it right in front of me. I was calm, but cold to her on the phone and then ripped his
face off verbally.
He is seeing a therapist about his infidelity but I am wondering if you think a man like that
can ever really change. He claims he wants to have a baby this year. I am lost.
Just a Woman in love

A.
Next time she calls, tell her "Two timing? Oh honey, you got that all wrong. He is 4 timing and
you are just one of the holes he calls when he gets bored. Our relationship is an open one,
so just take a fucking number." Your apathetic attitude is your best weapon against her. Not
 sure he is worth all the effort though. He seems to have a problem with integrity in general;
not a good trait. Make a time limit in your mind and if hasn't straightened up by then, you
should cut your loses and move on. European or not, bullshit is an international turn off.

Q.
I have a bit of a problem. My clitoris is very tiny, I mean REALLY tiny. Even
when I'm aroused it's still really small. This makes it pretty much impossible
for me to orgasm because my clit is so sensitive. In fact, the only way I can
orgasm is by masturbating. I do it by laying on my stomach with my hands flat
under my abdomen  and grinding my clit up against my hands. I have to have
clothes on too, because it's too sensitive without it. This is very frustrating
for me and my husband because he doesn't know how to stimulate me because
every time he tries I have to make him stop,

So I was wondering, is there a way to make my clit bigger? I think this would
help me alot because the nerve endings in my clitoris wouldn't be all in one
itty bitty space, thus making it insensitive.

If there isn't a way, then what would you suggest I do? I've told him what I
like but he still can't do it, and orgasm by masturbation isn't so great
anyway because I feel like I'm not actually getting a good orgasm… they only
last about 5 seconds, if even.
Clitty Cat


A.
They have pumps out there you can buy, just like the penis enlargement pumps. I
think it's a bunch of bullshit, these tools may feel good and increase ones
confidence buy tricking people into thinking "My clit/cock is swollen, so it
must be bigger" but they don't work. Try using your husband instead of your
hand. Do exactly the same thing you do alone, but do it on top of him with
lots of lube. If that doesn't work, have him lick you, there is nothing softer
than a tongue for those sensitive spots.

Q.

I have a Fart question. I know you have written about how to avoid farting in
front of your lover, but these one cheek sneaks can't go on forever, can they?
I live with my boyfriend now and he farts around me, so when can I start farting
around him? This is the first time I have lived with a guy and my first long
term relationship. I don't want to let it all hang out and loose him, yet I hate running
to the bathroom every time my ass is acting up. When can we fart without shame?

Farting Frauline

 

A.

The Fart Threshold; an unavoidable topic when living together. If he is already telling
you he loves you, then it's ok to let one rip in front of him occasionally. You simply
 have to know if his love is real or not. Who wants conditional love? ("If you fart,
 I won't love you anymore"). Make it fun by blaming it on him . Men fart all
the time, their dogs fart all the time, so they will only be shocked the first time they
hear you cut one. When it does, giggle and change the subject; act like it never happened.

Q.
  I am the Husband of Tainted Tammy that has been writing you, you know "THE BITCH" that
 gets it 5 times a week, for which I am extremely thankful for. My side of it is that
 when we 1st met I let all my skeletons out of the closet which weren’t a lot but I was
a recreational intravenous drug user, (did it about 10 times my whole life) I got involved
with a bad bunch of people and I was the ride for the most part and didn’t have much of
a sex life due to an abusive up bringing at the hands of my father both physically
 & mentally since I was a wee boy. When it was her turn she told me she lost her virginity
@ 17 to a guy that was 21 & he raped her, so I said to myself @ that time "no big deal she
had sex with this guy 1 time it wasn’t her fault and that was the end of it" now 18 years
later she is telling me it was an ongoing sexual
relationship and each time I bring it up the story changes, I was so angry at this guy that
 I was going to inflict physical damage to him and get even as he took my wife’s purity
 from me but now that the truth has come out I feel I can’t hurt this guy because now I see
it was consensual on both parties. This all could’ve been avoided  if she was just up front
from the beginning; I would have married her anyway but I almost feel like she got me on
 false pretences, I love her with all my heart but the deceit really hurts after all these
 years, thanks,
Mr. Bitch

A.
That part was left out in her email to me; I didn't know she was lying about her past. But the past
is the past and I totally frown upon the idea of digging up one's “skeletons”, unless there’s
children involved. Since you were abused in the past, honest and purity must be extra important
to you; hence her blurry past is eating you alive. Take her for a walk and have her tell you the
 whole freakin’ story once and for all. Say "tell me the truth and I shall drop it forever!". Let
her vent and keep your word, just let it slide, otherwise it will just be a constant annoyance and
it will drive you both apart.
If you love each other and want to stay together, you need to clear this shit up. She said you were
 “depressed and
not the same anymore.” Why not tell her why? You have to communicate or it won't work. Just because
you weren't the first guy IN your woman, doesn't mean she isn't pure. She has been with you for years,
 and she has sex with you very often, that shows that her love for you is pure. You can't beat that.
 Let the past die, it's over, done with and know that we all make mistakes.
(*note: the wife has since written  and they’ve cleared everything up and are happy as clams in water)

Q.
I’m pregnant and very horny most of the time. My husband seems to be into it. We got married recently and he wanted kids right away, so here I am, pregnant and jealous. My first husband cheated and I’m paranoid again. I try to keep telling myself men cheat. I don’t ever want to be divorced again. I know if he did cheat I would have to cheat just to build up my ego also. I already have a child and realize how hard it is on a marriage. I’d like to feel like I shouldn't have to worry. I’m a pretty sexual person and love my husband and would like to feel like he only wants to be with me. He tells me he’s waited his whole life for me and wanted to be married and have a baby. He is  37 and I’m hoping he is really ready for all of this. He has been doing whatever he wants for so long. Are all men going to cheat no matter what?
Nervous & Knocked-up

pregnancy can be super sexy ^

A.
Some men cheat; so do some women, but there are those that are satisfied with what they have. The way you described your husband made it sound like he initiated the marriage and pregnancy, so you really don't have to worry.
Had you trapped him in a marriage due to an "accidental" pregnancy, well, then it would be a whole different situation. Your sex drive and confidence will keep everyone happy. Worrying while pregnant isn't good for the baby at all and it's pointless to stress about something that hasn't happened, so just breath deep and enjoy your bun in the oven and the hot baker who helped make it.

Posted on

Swamped

Having fun in NYC, but by that I mean, having fun working.  I am so swamped I feel I will never get around to doing my France and Italy blog and now I have another Foreigner (the rock group) blog to do. LOTS going on. Penthouse Forum are so on the ball compared to the last news paper I wrote for here in NYC. They pay promptly, answer my emails promptly (and politely) and even sent me a dozen copies of the May 2008 issue that I am on the cover of. I opened it and found the BEST intro ever. My column feels at home. Love it! I scanned it in:

 

I massaged Kim Raver ( of the shows "24" and "Lipstick Jungle") again tonight- non stop massage for three hours. Wonderful lady. She can take as much pain as I can during a massage. Extreme deep tissue the whole time. Tough woman I tell ya. Funny how the women seem to be able to take more pain/pressure during the massage than men (apart from Harry Connick Junior who seems to be made of steel). My fingers are actually aching as I type this, THAT'S how strong the pressure was. Going to sleep it off

x 

Posted on

Ask Dr. Dot May 14, 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy..

Q.
I am dating a guy, since 3 weeks now and he keeps talking about his ex.
He has shown me many pictures of her, some nude ones as well, and she is
 fucking gorgeous and it makes me feel inadequate. Now that I think back,
 most of the men I have dated have pulled this shit. I am always polite and give compliments,but inside I
want to (a) rip up the cunts picture (b) knee the guy in the balls for showing it to me.
 How can I  stop such ignorant behavior without coming across as insecure or bitchy?
Sick of it all Sally

A.
It’s ridiculously easy to get pictures of giant cocks online. Craigslist is
 famous for having people post nude pic’s of themselves. Find a picture of
the biggest cock you can find, hell, most guys who have monster cocks are
happy to send them to any curious female  (or male for that matter). Print it out (or save it on your computer) and
 when a guy shows you pictures of his hot ex girlfriend, show him the monster cock and say
“well, this is the only picture I saved of Dan” (< insert any name). That will shut him the fuck up.

Q.
 
I totally love my wife, but the sex is FAILING…she'll let me do whatever I want,
most whenever I want, but she does nothing in return.  NOTHING.  It's miserable.
Like spankin' the monkey.  We're both working hard and have a busy family. 
What should I do?  Is there no way out? Does this mean it’s time for an affair?
Divorce?
Fucking the Boring Golden Cage

^ Help her live out her fantasies 

A.
On one hand, you have it better than most guys; at least she lets you "do
whatever you want, when ever you want", which is more than most married men get.
 But it is no fun having a passive partner. Mix things up a bit, hire a baby
sitter and bring her to a hotel, bring her lingerie shopping and fuck in the
 dressing room.  Ask her what would turn her on? It's a popular, but sad dilemma.
 The old challenge was to get the girl, now it’s keep her hot and horny. Massage,
 wine, hotels, porn, vacations, you really have to work at it to keep your busy
wife in the mood to be your sexy bitch under the sheets.

Q.
My name is Michelle and I am 12 years old.  I am not really sure what I am.  I
love men, but I think more about women sex, and all that shit.  I guess I wish
I had a boyfriend at school, but when I come home, (and at school sometimes) I
am all about women, and masturbating.  I was wondering if you could help me
with two things (by the way my parents don't know and I would like to keep it
that way)
1. What am I?  Lesbian, Bisexual, Bi-curious, Straight?
2. How can I make myself cum without my parents finding out?
I masturbate when I am in bed, on the toilet and in the shower.
Please help me figure this out, I feel I am a grown up woman in a little girl’s
body, I am ready to explore and want to be ready for when IT first happens.
Please don’t patronize me because of my age; I am very mature in every way.
Lolita

 
A.
Part of being 12 years old is discovering who and what you are, which
could change several times in your lifetime.
There is no need to label yourself, just do what you like and what feels
natural. Most young girls feel more comfortable experimenting with other
young girls as their bodies are so similar and it feels safe and comfortable.
It could be you end up a lesbian or it could be that you get bored of girls
and yearn for boys sooner or later, only time will tell and you have lots of it
so stop stressing about your genitals and concentrate on school or you won't
have a home to masturbate in once you leave school.
Ps. If your parents haven’t noticed that you are masturbating in the shower,
toilet and in bed, I sincerely doubt the will notice you having an orgasm.
Perhaps part of the reason you are giving yourself so much attention, is
because you are yearning for some unconditional love from them. Speak up;
 tell them you need a hug.

Q.
  I've been dating my boyfriend for five months now. It’s actually no longer
dating but a serious relationship. We have talked a lot about our relationship
and he told me that he can see a future with me, which I am very happy about
because he is an amazing guy and I really like him. So here is the
problem, we went drinking the other night and he told
me that he doesn’t like my bag because its ugly. I didn’t get offend after all he
is my boyfriend I want him to be honest. But he also told me that he had spoiled
his exes in the past. He told me he got one a Gucci bag and a lot of
other expensive things. He also said that he spoiled them all but me. I don’t
know how I should take this. How should I take this?? I'm not a materialistic
girl but I feel that it’s so unfair because I have done a lot more for him in
these 5 months than his exes ever could. he's the one with the well paid job
but I’ve been the one spoiling him and he claims that he can see a future with
me and didn’t with his exes yet he spoiled them and here he is telling me that my
stuff is ugly but hasn’t got me anything like he had for his exes. How should I
go about dealing with this? I'm hurt and frustrated. please help thanks.
Whipping Post Pauline

A.
A lot of men start out spoiling their girlfriends, and unfortunately, each time
they get hurt and/or burned, the toughen up, become harder, more jaded, but that
is how they become a man, one that can focus on his career and then his girlfriend,
not the other way around. Face it, if a man is completed besotted with his lady, he
is soft and may find it hard to concentrate on his work, which in counterproductive
if he wants to take care of his lady and their future children. It's hard for men in
that sense; they want to be kind, but have to protect themselves from being turned
into a powerless wad of jelly. A good man concentrates on work, but is still kind and
attentive to his lady. Some lose balance and decide "I am never going to be that
generous and sweet again; the next girl will suffer and know who the boss is!” This
is indeed unfair to the next girlfriend, who is; in this case you with the ugly cheap bag.
You have to let him know it is ignorant to tell you about spoiling his ex's and it's like
throwing pearls at swine, bragging about the expensive gifts while degrading your
accessories (only gay men even notice a fucking hand bag!).
Write him a note and say the only time you want him to mention bags is when he is
buying you one or putting his “bags” on your face. Just because you are into this man,
 doesn't mean you have to put up with that arrogant behavior. He was obviously hurt by
 one of these Gucci loving bitches and is taking it out on you. Mention that you too
deserve to be spoiled, and it doesn't
have to be with material items either. If he won't spoil you, make yourself available
for the one who will. 

Q
I’m the mother of 2 young women. I never tell them when
or with whom to have sex, simply because I know I can't control this, and they will
do what they want or need to do. I want them to be good people who enjoy sex
and every other part of their lives. I have always been open with them when they have asked
any questions about sex and relationships. So, between me, their friends, the pop
culture and the internet, I know they have any info they need about sex and relationships
-short of the hindsight gained by good and bad experiences of their own. I am most fearful
though that my opinion about something going on in the life of my 20 year old, is the wrong
one for a mother to have. Nonetheless, it is my opinion.

She is in love with a 44 year old married man.
They would probably be a fine couple. I have told her that it might be the best thing
to back off because she will ultimately not be able to feel good about being a wedge between
two married people. This woman (his wife) could be her, could be me, could be her friend.
And, would it ever be possible for her to be trusting of a person who has cheated on a wife
or someone he has made a commitment to?

I can't say that she's making a wrong decision, because I am not my daughter.
She was born with the maturity of a 21 year old, and this man (I've not ever met him.)
is a youthful 44 year old with the spirit of a 21 year old. He is not a player.
I've checked him out without his knowing so.

Are my Morals out of whack? Am I being too
"Non-judgmental”? I’ve told her all of the drawbacks of this situation but
I want to support her and I know of others enjoying age gap relationships, like Celine Dion,
Michael Douglas, Nicolas Cage, etc.

I have been married for 25 years and there isn’t any divorce in either of
our family histories. I am pretty sure that there has been cheating whether hidden or
accepted in those histories. I don't like cheating. It makes me sad just to hear of it.
Then there is Karma and another man or woman with a potentially shattered life.
Why am I not preaching to my daughter about "morals"? Tell me please, I can take it.
Momma Karma

A.
Young girls love to see how much power their pussy has: Could it lure another man away
from another woman? Could it break up a marriage? Can I make boys buy me things with it?
It's a big power thrill and an incredible aphrodisiac.
Flirting with and/or fucking a married person is like playing with fire. There are enough single
people around to seduce. The unhappily married person should have the balls to end their marriage
before starting another relationship on the side. I am against marriage in the first place; just
the pressure of being so tied down makes most want to stray at one point or another, so why fucking
pretend? Sure, being married makes it nice for the kids at school and gives people a tax break,
but it's an old fashioned tradition that ends in divorce more that 50% of the time.
If he did leave his wife for her, she would have a new title: "home wrecker" and most
of the time, when a man leaves his wife for his mistress, the mistress gets bored, as the challenge
is gone. Buy a copy of the book called 'The Rules for your daughter and leave it in her room.
It's not the greatest advice, certainly not as modern as mine but it will show her that she is in fact,
getting the short end of the stick. Don't be a friend; be a parent and tell her you don't approve.
Karma will prove to her that it's not a good idea to touch other women's men, as what goes around,
will in fact, come around.

Q.
Tell me why, why, why every single website that involves sex winds up (quickly)
with the guy getting a blow job?  I am straight as an arrow, but since I love
having my tits sucked long and hard, sometimes I would like to watch before my
boyfriend comes over to get me started.  I look for sites with strictly tit
sucking and find virtually nothing.  It says, "watch the blonde get her tits
sucked just before she goes down on the guys cock"?  Give me a break.  How about
something to get the girls going"?  Maybe I should write a sex story about it. 
I did that for a friend of mine and he said every time he reads that e-mail
again, he gets off.  It almost all of it is about having my tits hanging in his
face and him working them over.  Must work for some guys too!  Thanks.  Your
column is great!

Tittie Talia

A.
That's an easy question to answer. Most porn is made by men for men, so
tit sucking is just a tiny side order. They make it obvious what really
turns them on, marathon blow jobs, DP and all those sticky cum shots.
Perhaps this is a challenge for you, start producing some porn that will
turn women on and we can finally abolish that annoying belief that using
the tip of your tongue to flick the clit for a few seconds actually does
anything for us. Why not film your boyfriend grabbing, licking and sucking
your jugs for a good half hour and next time you want to rub one out,
you can just watch your personalized video and wank.