On the actual flyer it has my phone numbers on it, but I colored over it for the net, too many folks calling my number to chat, I am too busy to discuss the weather unfortunately
I shouldn't write a blog right now, it's almost 8 am and I am STILL up working. I finally figured out why the president of Georgia hasn't called about his massage (Georgia is at war with Russia). He called and said "Sorry Dr. Dot, I do want a massage, but I have too many asses to kick at the moment". Just kidding.
I am still fuming mad about Lisa betraying me. Fucking lying bitch! Now I start to think maybe that client DIDN'T run out on her, maybe he paid her and she made up that stupid lie just to keep the 20%. I don't trust her one bit now. She is fired and will be paying a massive fine. She is still trying to bullshit her way out of this saying she knew the band before. BULLSHIT. I sent her to massage them and she emailed me back saying she "has always wanted to meet them". In her paypal note she wrote "one of the guitarist wanted to bring me on tour, isn't that sweet?". BITCH. Rot it hell you lying cunt. I Hope Def Leppard does the right thing, but you would be surprised how far a cute face goes. She will probably cry, lie and beg her way back into Vivian's house and massage him again. Oh well, at least people can't say I tried to warn them.
I had a 3 hour massage last night from Sabrina and two hours of acupuncture tonight from another lady. Thing is, I always feel that I eat and behave so healthy, but in reality I have been making big mistakes. I found out the protein shakes I make for myself every "morning" when I wake around 4 or 5 pm are bad for me because of the 1 grapefruit, 3 oranges and 1 lemon I squeeze into them. Apparently all of that citrus is hell for my stomach and bladder. Also, the coffee is also doing a number on my bladder and sleep disorder, so I have to quit coffee 🙁 and cut back on the citrus (which I thought was soooo good for me). AND 99% of what I eat is raw/cold. I eat fruit, salad, shakes, cold beans in my salad, avacado mashed onto whole wheat bread, I mean doesn't that sound healthy to you? I have been told by so many people I have to eat warm meals. So I am doing a whole change now, not gonna like it, but something has to happen as I am a nervous wreck (oh, and the stress has got to slow down, but how?).
The massage biz just keeps growing and growing and not being able to trust people sucks ass. Shitten' kittens. This is nothing new to me. My mom fucked one of my boyfriends when I was younger, my best friend stole my passport to get into a 18 and over Santana concert in NH (Wendy you bitch) and then SHE fucked my boyfriend after. Then another best friend fucked yet another boyfriend. Needless to say, I don't introduce many girlfriends when I am dating a man. Then the employees who fuck me over. May they rot in hell.
Hard to be sweet and easy going with all of that shit going on. Sometimes I think "fuck it" and just visualize me selling everything I own and moving into trailer park in Florida to play cards all day with old folks. But that vision quickly fades when I think of all the fun I have making sure touring musicians get a kick ass massage, each stop of their tour. (touring is HELL on the body). So I just plow on. Some have said "business is business Dot" but I thought people who study massage were different. I thought they had a heart. I thought they cared about people and had more integrity then say, a stock broker or lawyer. Guess not. This isn't the first betrayal, but it is the biggest. And then there was the friend I let use my PC, who installed the KGB key logger and then read my emails and myspace messages for over two months before SHOWING me screen shots of all of my emails. "Down on me, yeah, down on me, feels like everybody in this whole wide world yea, is down on me" Janis Joplin.
I do LOVE life and LOVE people so much, so I will just have to try and trust again and keep on smiling. Lots to do and I guess having too much to do is better that having NOTHING to do. I really can NOT imagine being bored. I am never bored. Not even when I am sleeping.
I went jogging Sunday eve and saw a bunch of rabbits, looking at me. Then I went jogging again on Wednesday, same area and saw two red foxes in the SAME EXACT spot as the rabbits had been, also staring at me. The wild life is NOT afraid of humans here. I bet the rabbits are fucking scare of those foxes though. I had to laugh when I saw the foxes, thinking of the smart ass rabbits just days before. I would much rather be the fox than the rabbit I tell ya.
Berlin weather is so crazy. One day (day, ha ha, that's funny) I mean, one afternoon, it's hot and humid, next eve it's cold, all the leaves are on the ground like it's fall and it's windy with rain. Like a fucking premenstrual wench. Oh yeah, the Doctors and acupuncturists also tell me taking the birth control pill is also bad. Omfg. How is it that I know some folks who eat french fries, steak, drink beer, smoke copius amounts of ganga and tons of coffee still sleep like a rock and seem fine and here's me, Ms. one glass of wine a week, one cup of coffee per day, salad til it comes out my fucking ears and I am a nervous wreck/stress ball? Could it be they are just punching a clock and get to "leave work behind" when they get home? My work never, ever ends. Go out to eat with me and I am looking at my blackberry 25% of the time. Have to! If I miss an email from Joel from GOod Charlotte, wanting a massage, he may call another massage company, ditto for any other celeb client of mine (and not just celeb clients, any client).
I am going to bed, as I am starting to get cranky and the construction workers are already here, outside my window banging shit around. Men and their toys.
oh, but first:
While searching for Lisa's contract to nail her balls to the wall, I came across this PROM picture of mine. Guess which hussy is me? ha ha. How embarrassing!! Rockville High School, Ct. My date was Billy Connelly (spelling?) who was a LOT like Huckleberry Finn. He normally wore jean overalls, no shirt, no shoes, bandanna on his head, smile on his face. I absolutely LOATHED our prom song "one more night" by Phil Collins. Bite me. I wanted Joey Ramone (whom I was dating at the time to come with me, but he was touring. BUT he made it up to me by playing a show in Ellington for most of my school 🙂
Why didn't anyone take me aside and explain how tacky bleached blond hair actually is? My Mom started that. She put highlights in my hair when I was in the 7th grade. That is too young for that crap. She was just experimenting on me like a lab rat and from then on, my hair was fucked with. I am so glad I let it natural now. Not to sound even more queer than I already am, but I want to quote Cher "if I could turn back time" ha ha.
DELIRIOUS at this point from lack of sleep. Why even bother going to bed? I should stay up and try to be a good Homosapien and follow the Suns rules.Oh, Rockville High is having a massive Class Reunion in September. Should be fun. See how many people still hate my guts. heh heh. They all know me as Dot Jagger. When I graduated, the principal even called my name out as "Dot Jagger". SO into the Stones at that point. OVER THAT!! Beatles RULE! Dot McCartney sounds way better anyways. I only went to Rockville High for two years, 11th and 12th grade, so the RHS kids didn't exactly welcome this blonde, mini skirt wearing blond rock chick with open arms. But I was used to being the "new girl" in school. Before that I was in Virginia Beach, Virginia at Bayside High and Bayside Junior High (only for the 9th and 10th grade). Before THAT I was in Newport, Rhode Island for some of the 6th and 8th grade and for my 7th grade I went to Thompson Junior High in Dover, New Hampshire, then back to Newport, oh God, don't get me going, in 12 years of school, I was in 15 different schools (still have the report cards here to prove it). Went to school in Memphis, Tenn. for the 5th grade (going backwards here).
I am so fucking tired of moving and traveling, I could scream. I really envy the people who have lived a stable life, with a stable family, in the same town their whole life, with a nice house and many pets. What's it like? Maybe in my next life, eh? But I supposed what you have lived through, makes you what you are, so I am fine with all that. The grass is always greener I guess. I am so happy Jasmine has lived her whole life so far in Berlin. I gave her stability (and so did her dad). That is what parents are supposed to do. You are supposed to show your child a life better than the one you had. Mission accomplished 🙂
I got nasty habits, I take tea at three
Yes, and the meat I eat for dinner
Must be hung up for a week
My best friend, he shoots water rats
And feeds them to his geese
Don'cha think there's a place for you
In between the sheets?
Come on now, honey
We can build a home for three
Come on now, honey
Don't you wanna live with me?
And there's a score of harebrained children
They're all locked in the nursery
They got earphone heads they got dirty necks
They're so 20th century
Well they queue up for the bathroom
'Round about 7:35
Don'cha think we need a woman's touch to make it come alive?
You'd look good pram pushing
Down the high street
Come on now, honey
Don't you wanna live with me?
Whoa, the servants they're so helpful, dear
The cook she is a whore
Yes, the butler has a place for her
Behind the pantry door
The maid, she's French, she's got no sense
She's wild for Crazy Horse
And when she strips, the chauffeur flips
The footman's eyes get crossed
Don'cha think there's a place for us
Right across the street
Don'cha think there's a place for you,
In between the sheets?
Tired of unorganized massage drama? Call the Doctor. Dr. Dot. Amazing massage, 24/7, all over the world. Come to us if you:
A) Want a certified massage therapist handle you with care
B) Want your artist/tour/venue to have certified, screened, trusted massage therapist on call for you, all organized
by Dr. Dot personally (runs TIGHT ship)
C) Are a certified, licensed Massage therapist and are yearning to work with a very organized, fair and happy team
Dr. Dot has massaged some of the biggest names in show biz over the last 20 years.
Her talented hands and strong ambition have earned her a place in the hearts of the
stars she massages and has expanded her business to reach all over Europe and the USA.
Now she has massage assistants who can treat the stars when she can't be there personally.
Everyone on our team is certified, licensed, put under contract, wears our company t-shirt,
has their own company business cards, is on our web site (we have NOTHING to hide) and loves what they do.
Quality, not quantity is our motto.
Dr. Dot on YOUTUBE ^
Here are some Testimonials:
"Heal my hands again Doctor" – Frank Zappa
"Dr. Dot gives the best massage in the world" – Sting
"Amazing hands" – Robert Plant
"Thanks for making me feel wonderful. Powerful massage" – Lauryn Hill
"You are damn strong for such a small woman" – The Undertaker (WWF)
"She eases the strain" – Henry Rollins
"Great for drummers" – Peter Criss
"If I could, I would have you massage me every day, all day. You rock!" – Courtney Love
"I love those hands!" – BoBo of Cypress Hill
"A really great massage!" – Bruce Willis
"Dr. Dot's 4 hands rules" – Ice-T
"The Best massage of my life!" – Sylvia singer of the Killer Barbies
"Bite me again Dr. Dot" – Bella B of Die ƒrzte
"I really love your massage Dot" – Charlie Watts of The Rolling Stones
"Perfect Massage" – Ron Wood of the The Rolling Stones
"Thanks for fixin' my lumpy neck! AWESOME!" – Dime Bag of Pantera
"I have never felt so relaxed before" – Joe Strummer
"Thanks, I'm a new man!" – Lou Koller singer of Sick of it all
"Dot you rule with the strongest hands in showbiz" – Josh of Queens of The Stone Age
"Great massage" – Cindy Blackman drums for Lenny Kravitz
"I love your hands!" – Maxi Jazz of Faithless
"OOH, AHHH, EEEEE, OOOO, AAHHHHHH" – Johnny 5 of Marylin Manson
"What a relief!" – Debby Harry ( Blondie)
"Can we bring your hands on tour with us?" – Justin Timberlake (at age 16)
"Dot kicked my ass!" – Proof (of D-12 and Eminem)
"I LOVE your hands Dot" – Paul Stanley of KISS
"That was an amazing massage" – Vin Diesel
"First massage of my life, I am now a fan" – Gene Simmons of KISS
"Lovely touch" – Mark Knopfler
"I feel like a new woman after that massage Dot" – Sheryl Crow
"Awesome foot rub!" – Marky Ramone
"Thanks for healing us man. Peace" – Carlos Santana
"Dot's massage was the only thing that kept me going and going" – Sean, singer of Audioweb
"Your massage brought me back to life, you healed me baby!" – R. Kelly
"I love your massage Dot" – Eros Ramazotti
"Hands of STEEL" – Dave Navarro
"I remember it was very quiet, music playing on a boom box, the lights down low," he told The Associated Press. "She was very professional. She also didn't talk a lot, which I particularly liked."
– Gene Simmons of KISS
– "Thanks a million" Mariah Carey
– "That's hot!" Paris Hilton (I'm not joking)
Satisfied Massage Clients include:
Mariah Carey – Eros Ramazotti – Back Street Boys – Peter Bond – Depeche Mode – Led Zeppelins Robert Plant – Hot House Flowers – Fugees – Rolling Stones – Sting – David Bowie Band – Tommy Lee & Mötley Crüe – British Bulldog – Rainbow – Credit to the nation – Krokus – The Clash – Steve Vai – AC/DC – Ratt – Blur – Inspiral Carpets – The Blushing Brides – Aerosmith – Skunk Anansie – Die Ärzte – Simply Red – Michael Jackson Band – Whitney Houston Band – Guildo Horn – Ramones – 60ft. Dolls – Van Halen – The Who – Tin Machine – The Misfits – Garbage – Tortoise – Stone Roses – Chris Jagger – The Undertaker (WWF) – Smoking Guns (WWF) – Bryan Ferry Band – Lenny Kravitz Band – N Sync – Fish-(NOT PHISH!) – Henry Rollins – Def Leppard – Ray Cokes of MTV – Alba Basketball Team – Nils Frewerth – Runrig – Bon Jovi – Red Hot Chilli Peppers – Heather Nova – Dread Zeppelin – Bush – The Pogues – Kinky Machine – Duran Duran – Happy Mondays – America – Ice T – Madness – Flock of Seagulls – Jesus Jones – The Alarm – Hans Klok (Dutch Magician) – Cucumber Men – Anthrax – Catatonia – Eric Clapton – Johannes B. Kerner – Keith Sweat Band – Oasis – Grateful Dead – Kiss – The Charlatans – Toni Braxton Band – Pulp – Andrew Strong Band – Weezer – Jay Z – Super Furry Animals – Billy Idol Band – Iggy Pops Band – Northside – The Romantics – Simple Minds – Calvin Russel – The Muffin Men – 38 Special – Finesse – Scarfo – Bob Geldof – Iron Maiden – Dirty Deeds – Offspring – Leningrad Cowboys – Norbert Blüm – Vera am Mittag – Matthias Wissmann – Stefan Raab – Esther Schweins – Sheryl Crow – Daniela Noack – Guano Apes – Courtney Love + Hole – Lynard Skynard – Alice Cooper Band – Traci BoyD – Cypress Hill – Blackeyed Peas – Foo Fighters – Ween – D-12 – Modern Talking – Alice Cooper – Papa Roach – David Byrne – Mark Knopfler – Die Happy – Nick Cave – Hed(p) – Annuschka – Steely Dan – Green Day – Joe Walsh – Truck Stop – R. Kelly – Cranberries – Vin Diesel – YES – Green Day – Bio Hazard – Soul Fly – Prince of Saudi Arabias gang – Dave Gahan – Bruce Willis – Robbie Williams band – Disturbed – Kylie Minouge – Russle Crowe – Chris Noth (Mr. Big) – James L. Dolan – Slunt – George Clinton – Marilyn Manson – Sir Bob Geldoff – The Explosion – Good Charlotte – Steve Vai – Project Object – Adam F. – Meldrum – Penny Royals – Ratdog – Crossfade – Paris Hilton – Stereophonics – Motorhead – Dave Navaro – Dropkick Murphys – Far From Finished – Rosenstolz – Paul Weller – Dweezil Zappa – Steve Vai – Terri Bozzio – Napoleon Murphy Brock – Prinz Ferfried von Hohenzollern – Roger Waters – Jeff Beck – Vinnie Colaiuta – OK GO – The Hard Lessons – Juliette Lewis & the Licks – Middleman – Nathan East – Herbie Hancock – Placebo – Kylie Minogue – Russel Crowe – Maroon 5 – Joe Jackson – Sonic Youth – Harry Connick Jr – Incubus- Zappa Plays Zappa – Kayne West – Devo – Justin Timberlake – The Coral – The Arctic Monkeys – Simon Cowell of American Idol – Sum41 – Pat Benetar – Steve Miller Band – Foreigner – John C. Reilly – Velvet Revolver – Kim Raver (of 24 & Lipstick Jungle) – Simple Plan – Angels and Airwaves – Arian Belew – The Hives – Kid Rock's band – Slash – Peter Wolf – Jonas Brothers – Trans Siberian Orchestra – Sigur Ros – Greg Allman – Stevie Wonder ……to be continued…
As always, I am editing my books with one eye and have the other on Animal Planets “Animal Cops “ this time it is filmed in Houston, and I can NOT eat my yogurt any more, after seeing the 5 horses they have just discovered. The horses are nothing but BONES – you can see every bone in all of their bodies and most have duct tape wrapped around their hooves, probably holding them together!
The officers say the horses probably haven’t had a decent meal for 6 months. The horses were so hungry that they were eating away at the wooden barn they were kept in.
People who mistreat their animals should get the same exact treatment put onto them. Wankers! Animals can not ask for help. It is beyond cruel to mistreat a helpless animal, I am pretty sure, if there is a hell, these folks will end up there on a tight leash.
When I end up rolling in cash, I will be funding such shows as Animal Cops and Animal Precinct and of course the ASPCA. Love them.
How did that happen? I missed a day? Time flies, I thought