Fuck iTunes for spoiling it for Survivor viewers AGAIN

I KNOW it is really unimportant but I watch Survivor. Have done for years. I fucking HATE it when people post information about the show on my facebook page like who was voted off, or most importantly WHO WON because it fucking spoils it for those of us who watch it on iTunes.


iTunes is so fucking ignorant when it comes to series. They ALWAYS post the last two episodes of 99% of their series in the wrong order, SO before you get to see who won, they post the REUNION show exposing who the winner was before you even saw the last episode. Read the angry reviews on iTunes (if you give a fuck) and see the outrage. Again, I do realize how incredibly unimportant this is compared to bigger problems in life a the moment, but this is my blog and if I want to vent, I vent. I PAY for whole seasons of Survivor, I don't watch it for free on TV like most folks so you would think iTunes would get their shit together, but NO!!!!! This is the 3rd time they showed the reunion show before ending just on Survivor (they have done it loads on other contest shows too). FUCKING IDIOTS and to make it worse Facebook "Friends" on my fan page always rant and rave about who was voted off, who won etc before I get a chance to watch it, super pissed off, having a HISSY FUCKING FIT!!!!!!

Massage client scam: Massage assistant robbed in Arizona

Once again, a client received a kick ass massage for over 90 minutes and got away without paying. Last time, it was in LA when a client came to one of our massage assistants and got a 2 hour massage and just as the 2 hours were coming to an end, he pretended to have a spasm. My assistant asked him what was wrong and he said she had hurt his arm. He freaked out, yelled at her (she wasn't massaging him wrong, he just didn't want to PAY for the massage) and he started to leave. She asked for payment and he said "you are lucky I don't sue you! I am not paying!" and ran out the door without paying. PRICK..

 But tonight, a bigger scammer stuck one of my massage assistants in Phoenix, Arizona. Why am I telling you this? So you can prevent it happening to you or anyone you know who is in the massage business. Basically this asshole called me, using a fake name, requesting a massage in Arizona. I passed his number onto my assistant and he came to her for a massage. She asked for pre-payment, but he whined that the money was in his car; that he would pay later. Here are her words:

 "Brent made an appointment for today at 1pm at my studio.  He parked  his car in
my car port.   Seemed very nice.  We did a Thai massage  session at his request
and from the problems he was having in his hips  and legs the best modal. 
Before anything I had him sign your waiver  and fill out the intake form.  I
asked him to pay upfront.  He said he  had his wallet in the car and said well
can I just grab it after?  His  car was parked in my car port which is literally
in front of my front  door.  During the massage things were great he asked my
lots of  questions about yoga and reflexology stretching.  Once we were done we 
talked a lot and he even scheduled another appointment with me for May  3rd.  So
he went out to his car to get the money started his engine  and drove off, I
actually ran out the door like what the fuck!!!  It  was an hour and half
massage. DOUCHE BAG DOUCHE BAG DOUCHE BAG!   I  was so upset earlier…I'm still

I have since then left him 4 voice mails and sent him a couple text  messages. 
Telling him in a very nice way to please call me and let me  know what happened?
  I've never had anything like this happen to me in  the 3 years I've been
massaging.  I mean I've never even heard any  teacher or peer of mine ever have
this occur.  The last message I left  was me telling him Id give him 24 hours to
contact me and pay  before  I filed a police report.  I talked to my friend who's
a cop and they  said its a misdemeanor and no reason  I can't file"


Ok, do NOT fuck with us!!
I found this idiot's REAL name and
REAL address so our girl can go to the police and
get her money for her 2 hour massage and hopefully
teach this wanker a lesson not to steal from Massage

His REAL name is James

We are going to the police and will make sure he pays for his crime and we will NOT stop until he gets what he deserves. Massage is hard work and to pretend to be a paying client and even make another appointment to make it all more believable is pathetic. You piece of shit.  



UPDATE: August 9, 2008:

  Subject: I was robbed too!!!!! Please read  
From: ahmin21
Date: Friday, 8 August 2008     3:08:58 AM
Last week! I believe I was faced with the same massage stealing douche bag. He use the name Jesse Wilson he scheduled a massage with me last friday 08/01/2008. After the session he went to the car and he came back in and told me that he left his wallet in the car. He called someone and said that he left his wallet on the counter and that he was on his way to get it. He told me he would be back in an hour and he even rescheduled with me for the following week. Needless to say a few hours later he would not answer my calls and he finally returned a text message when I told him that I had his license plate number. He said he would bring it would bring but he never did! He gave a fake address 685 W Shawnee. I described his car to my boyfriend and he told me the same car was parked in the garage next door were he approached a man that looked like the man I described but he lied he denied it all and was trying to send him on a wild goose chase for different men in the neighbor hood. That is how I found this blog by google the 681 address because my boyfriend said he had a feeling it was him because he seemed so nervous plus he fit my description white male 6'3" light eyes, crater face, he had the same leg and glute problem. He had a green chrysler sebring! I just have a question. Did you guys take any further action with this jerk?


Steve Vai tears up NJ

This just in:

My family (Dad's side) down in Georgia just called and they said they won #1 place in the corn bread competition and 10th place (out of 300 hundred applicants) in the annual Stone Mountain Chili Cook off!!!!!!!

Lisa is down there with them raising hell and they are so ecstatic they took a giant trophy for their corn bread! They call themselves the Killer Bee's Chili team and they compete every year at this Chili Cook off down there. I think I will join them next year, sounds fun. They told me there were several cover bands playing at the all weekend festival, a Hendrix cover band called VooDoo was the best (my Dad said).

From left to right ^ My Dad's sister, Aunt Caron, her son JC, Aunt Nancy (Dad's other sister + favorite Auntie ), Allyson my Dad's wife of over 25 years, My DAD :), Melissa (Aunt Caron's daughter + my niece) + the girl Kneeling is Chantel a friend of Melissa's who helps them every year at the cook off. 


So congrats to the whole Fam Damily for their cooking talents πŸ™‚

Last night, the 28th, was 10 days after my tonsillectomy and even though I probably should have just stayed home and rested, I couldn't resist the call of the wild and went to  the Steve Vai show at the Starland Ballroom, in Sayerville, NJ, my favorite venue in the world. I used to work at like 2 concerts a week there and know the whole staff. This place is SO FUN to go to, I love eveyone there, the cook, the bar backs, the roadies, managers, they just all rock.

Everyone always hangs out in the kitchen and cracks jokes. I warned everyone that I would be coming but couldn't speak loud or much thanks to a hurt throat but that plan went out the window, I simply  had to speak and catch up with my old friends. One friend in particular was in dire need of some tender loving care. Two weeks ago, Pauls wife of one year gave birth to their first child, a baby boy.
The wife died 4 days later due to complications from her c-section. So he is beyond gutted. I couldn't massage last night because my Doctor said you can't workout or work for at least a month after a tonsillectomy but I brought one of my best massage assistants with me, Koree, to be there to massage anyone who needed it at the Steve Vai show and so I treated Paul to 30 minutes of massage from Koree, who has hands of steel, like butter, I love her. Paul LOVED his massage and felt a little better, the
poor guy πŸ™


Paul is a massive Dead head and always has the Dead or solo Garcia playing in the kitchen, even during shows. He just cranks his stereo up louder to drown out whatever act is on stage lol

 Nick is a fucking NUT ^  I love him madly. He makes everyone who enters the Starland Ballroom howl with laughter. 

  < I know a few people with that tattoo

It was great to see the "mad fiddler" again, Ann Marie ^  I am just kidding, she is a violinist..

When Steve introduced the band on stage, he mentioned how he "stole her from Jethro Tull" with a sharp laugh. It is true, I asked her. She was touring with Jethro Tull and then auditioned for Steve Vai and instead of doing the next leg of the Jethro Tull tour, she joined Steve on the road and the rest is history. This woman is so talented and gorgeous, it's hard to take your eyes off her when she is on stage. She challenges Steve during the show, her violin, his guitar, it is amazing to see and hear, absolutely mad!

The Bass master, Bryan brought his parents and introduced them to me. He looks just like his Mom. The NJ native was beaming all night but you could tell backstage that he was missing his cutie Kira Small, who is on tour with her band at the moment. 

Zack is young fresh guitar blood. Read about him by clicking HERE 

Steve is giving this 20 year old guitar genius a chance to shine by letting him open for him at every show and even invites him on stage every night for a number or two. Frank Zappa did the same for Steve when he was 20, plucked him fresh out of the Berkley School of Music. So I guess Steve is keeping the faith and sharing his spot light with Zack as Frank did for him. What a man Steve is. Zack showed me all the movies he has made on his lap top and I am pretty sure he will end up a movie director one day, as he is amazing at it.

Speaking of Lap tops, everyone on Steve's tour except for Bryan Beller uses an Apple. I feel so old fashioned using a PC still. I have to get a Mac I guess to keep up with the times. Steve said PC's are crap compared to  Apples and he said Blackberry's are junk compared to the iPhone. Why oh WHY did I just order a new version of the Blackberry (the Curve). I wish I hadn't now that I have seen how fucking cool the iPhone is. Oh well, maybe I will just give my Curve to Jasmine and get a freakin' iPhone next. 

 I got to spend a lot of one on one time with Steve before and after the show, yay. He showed me his iPhone for about 20 minutes and it made me loathe my Blackberry with a vengeance. He showed me how you can type in any address and zoom in on it with the satellite and we found my house and saw it on his phone! He is indeed Mr. Gadget. Love the pic he gave me ^ I think I will have it framed in silver and wear it as a necklace charm. 

We talked a lot about Frank Zappa and his music and his son Julian, who is currently in Massage school, inspiring to be a member of my massage team. That would soooooo rock, having a Vai on our team. I have yet to meet Mrs. Vai, maybe next time. I hear from everyone that she is as sweet as Steve is.

Steve has a great sense of humor. Somehow we got to talking about my sex column and I told him about the time a woman wrote in asking for advice about how to hide her farts on long weekends at home with her man. Steve said "Farts are like God's joke on us". He fucking cracks me up. I ordered a fart machine and had it shipped to my pal Christin's house, who will see him up in Boston in a few days… she will give it to him for me. I can't wait to hear how he reacts.

  Steve trying the Bite Method on me ^ ?

His famous guitars  ^

 During the show, as I said before, Steve introduced the band and directly after, he said "Special thanks to my friend Dr. Dot for coming out tonight to make us feel good, give a hand to Dr. Dot everybody" and he pointed at me on the side of the stage (I was next to the sound/monitor man Roger). Oh my God, I was NOT expecting that and blushed ten shades of red. 

Steve is by far my favorite client, there is no other artist that sweet. He is the absolute fucking bomb and that show last night was brilliant. It was PERFECT.

After the show I was soooooooooooo hungry, it has been 10 days since I've had a real meal and I couldn't take it anymore and nibbled on a tiny piece of pizza; chewed it REALLY good and got it down. That tasted so good I ate the whole thing. It took me about 30 minutes to chew it all, but I got it down and man it felt good. SO it looks like I am pretty much healed now. I still have a sore throat but I am on the road to recovery πŸ™‚


Steve Vai leftovers ^  πŸ™‚


We were talking about my Tonsillectomy and he told me about his when he was 6 years old. He said the first thing he asked for when he woke up was Potato Chips. He said his Mom called the Doctor and said "Doc, he wants Potato chips!!" and the Doc replied "Aaaah, then give him Potato chips"
LMFAO!!!!!!!! So he got Potato chips. This is one tough cookie.

Steve noticed I was finally eating and offered me his left over pasta which Paul, the cook whipped up especially for him. Whole wheat Ziti Pasta with bits of Tofu  and red & green peppers and zucchini  coated in a Balsamic Vinegar sauce. I am in fact eating Steve Vai's left overs as I type this and man are they yummy. Heh heh. He ate most of the Tofu though..dam him! heh heh


 < random video bits ( Video leftovers)