Mikheil Saakashvili : Where Are My Western Friends?



Mikheil Saakashvili : Where Are My Western Friends?
Anna Nemtsova


From the magazine issue dated Apr 20, 2009

In the largest opposition demonstration in Georgia since November 2007— WHEN President Mikheil Saakashvili tested his democratic credentials by sending in riot police to quash the protests—tens of thousands of people filled Tbilisi's leafy Rustaveli Avenue last Thursday to demand Saakashvili's resignation. The president retreated to his residence, where he spoke with NEWSWEEK's Anna Nemtsova about the crowds on the street, his difficult relationship with Russia and how the West has largely abandoned him in recent months. Excerpts:

Nemtsova: Who wants your resignation?
Saakashvili: Mostly unemployed people. We fired about 250,000 people as a result of our reforms. A big percentage of these people have not managed to find themselves in the new economy. Fighting corruption and crime, we put thousands of people in jail. In Tbilisi alone we convicted 8,000 people; all of their relatives are outside today, asking me to resign.

What is the most painful part of the criticism?
I am not hurt by the criticism in Georgia, as I am hearing it from two opposition TV channels all day long. I did not expect the West to put all the relationships with us on hold while waiting for this revolution. An official delegation from France decided to postpone their visit. A Turkish company moved a scheduled contract signing until after April 9, and an Arab company until April 12. What is the matter with these people? Do we stop going to Paris or Strasbourg during their street protests?

Who sponsors the Georgian opposition?
Most of the money—millions of dollars—comes from Russian oligarchs. I have documentary proof of that, which I am not making public yet. Whether the money is being sent from Russia under the supervision of the Russian government, that I do not know.

Some experts predict a new military conflict as a result of social instability in Georgia. How possible is it that Russia and Georgia will begin another war?
The Russian government would probably be happy to see me leave the post. I could suppose that some of the military authorities in Russia think of attacking Georgia today, to say later that it was me who invaded Russia to distract the attention of my opposition. A week ago Russian tanks arrived in South Ossetia. We have information that there are about 5,000 Russian troops in the territory of South Ossetia, and 5,000 troops in Abkhazia.

Do you think President Medvedev would support the idea of another war with Georgia?
I do not think he would appreciate such an idea, as I saw how happy he was when President Obama gave him half of a smile. Russia heard clearly Obama's characterization of the August war. He called it “invasion,” and by that one word Obama drew a red line between Russia and Georgia. Neither Putin nor Medvedev is interested in crossing it again today.

Do you think it is possible that the Russian and American presidents might make a deal over Georgia? How do you think U.S. politics will affect Georgia under the new president?
The Kremlin might make an attempt to agree with Obama—say, that Russia helps the U.S. in Afghanistan, Iran and Central Asia, and the U.S. helps Russia to achieve their geopolitical interests in this territory, to help Russia change leadership in this country. For many, I seem to be a dead end for relations with Russia. I used to be much more charmed by U.S. politics.

Who are your supporters in the U.S. today?
I have quite a few good contacts. Of course, my best friend was always John McCain. You can say he is Georgian already. We expect McCain to come and visit us in a week or so. I have good relationships with Hillary Clinton, Joseph Biden and especially Richard Holbrooke—he is my teacher. I learned a lot of great things from him.

Do you feel that the West is disappointed with you? Have you been in touch with President Obama yet?
Oh, yes, I have talked to him on the phone. The problem is not about us—the problem is about their own internal politics. We have integrated into U.S. internal politics. So during the change of power, there was some sort of vacuum in America. Nobody knew what to do with us. Everybody, including France, was waiting for Obama's guideline on what to do about Georgia. I admire American ideas. I used to idealize America under Bush, when ideas were above pragmatic politics. Now it is a new time, when pragmatic politics are in charge of ideas. That might spoil the America I know.

Would your policy with Russia be different now if you could turn time back?
Moscow blamed us for not keeping our promises. I am not sure what could be done now. I could hardly do anything differently. The values we appreciate are not embraced by Russia. Should I have compromised? If I did, we would have been like Kyrgyzstan, losing our democratic values now, or as poor as Armenia, whose economy fully depends on Russia. Just as our politics have been independent from the Kremlin all these years, we will handle the demonstrations as if the Russian issue did not exist, and Russia as if the demonstrations did not exist.

Greetings from Georgia, former Soviet Union


I am here for a week massaging my favorite client on earth (sorry Simon Cowell, you’ve been bumped down a notch from my #1 spot for now), President of Georgia, Mikheil Saakaashvili, who invited me to his interesting country.

Happily married, father of two, busy running the country and yet he finds time for a massage or two. He has been taking excellent care of me, I feel really safe and have everything I could possibly need. He LOVES Americans and says my massage is the best he has ever had (massaged him for the first time if you remember that blog, last summer, right before Russia and Georgia fought).

 Naturally after such a nasty war, he needs more massages on the shoulders that Russia keeps trying to sit on (please read this with sense of humor, lighten up folks).

Mr. President is so intelligent, sharp witted, generous,  friendly and fun, he is always smiling and making sure everyone has enough to eat and drink. Fighting hard here to keep my trim figure, but the first thing he says when he sees me is “are you hungry?” and then proceeds to order massive amounts of food. Ha ha. I read that in Georgia, they believe guests/visitors are a “gift from god” and they LOVE to feed their visitors.

I will blog more later and as TONS more pictures as it is sunny and warm out today and I want to get the hell out of my hotel room. He has also been a VERY good influence on me, I have been getting up at 9am every day and going to bed at midnight. So I am now (well, for NOW) a day person. Lets see how long it lasts.


 Pic taken on the plane ^ you know when you fly you can see where the hell you are going? I couldn’t help but get nervous when I was watching that screen seeing names of places I have never heard of or can even pronounce. But I felt safe, a plane full of heavily armed body guards, the emphasis on the word HEAVILY. JEEEEZE!!!  Laughing


When we landed, the body guards took me here. Since we can’t communicate, I had NO idea where we were going or why. I dragged my lap top with me as I had no idea, turns out they just wanted to show me around, to the “Black Sea” which looks more brown than Black actually.

The Black Sea in Batumi ^


 The pres was nice enough to first show me his beach estate in Tabuli, then the next day we flew to Tbilisi. This ^ is a view from my room here in Tbilisi. There are hardly ANY  cross walks here, so people and animals are always bookin’ it across the streets and from my hotel room view, it looks like that video game Frogger.

Secret Service Coffee anyone? Laughing

Entrance to my hotel. Looks peaceful but there is construction going on on top, on the side, across the street, it is loud as FOOK. But I am sure my room has the best view of Tbilisi. 

They were supposed to have a great fitness room, but when I asked to see it, they cringed. They brought me there and it was an old beat up tread mill, looked rusty and had some cow webs it on, a sad set of free weights and a super old fashioned exercise bike. I was like, um, never mind. The toilet in the fitness room made me laugh. I have not seen one of these since I was in Italy. Make sure you aim correctly ladies or your shoes will have piss all over them. 

View from my room at night – looks GORGEOUS.



 The President has SO MANY body guards, he has many to spare. He had them watching over me every day and I felt SO safe and secure. They are all so punctual, efficient, professional and dependable, it is amazing. Like a well oiled machine. The picture above is me and “Zoro #1”. He is a Major in the Military, not just a bodyguard. Super nice guy too. SUPER proud of his wife and kids (showing each other pictures while waiting for dinner was a great way to pass the time, as talking was rather difficult. His English is WAY better than my Georgian (can’t speak a word of it yet). 

My favorite place to eat turned out to be a place called “The Old House” or something along those lines. This massive house had many tiny little houses where you would go into with your tiny group to eat. The waiters would come in to each little house to wait on the guest. Very private, cozy and warm. I had the guards bring me there a few times as the Greek salad and chicken were the healthiest things I could find anywhere to eat. Nice and lean. 

Zoro # 1 told me that the blue jacket that was hanging on the walls of the Old House was a traditional old fashioned Georgia attire called a Chokha . So I posed in it. Could NOT for the life of me get it to close around the chest area, but you get the idea. Not sure if those things in the chest pockets were supposed to be bullets or magic markers though. 


People were on the side of the street, everywhere, selling something. This boy sold me and the body guards (who baby sit me every day, all day, when the massage is over). There are also free roaming COWS, dogs, sheep and goats walking everywhere, on the side of roads, highways, etc, it is so bizarre. The dogs and cats are all free agents. They live off of trash and the dogs chase the cars, it’s mad. 

Another thing that FREAKED me out about this place was the MAD driving. I am not exaggerating here folks, I thought I was going to DIE pretty much every day I got in a car. My drivers were the best, highly trained BUT it is tradition there to pass other cars, apparently without any FEAR. There were always two lanes, one going one way, one going the other way. We would pass like 20 cars and in the lane coming towards us were other cars, trucks buses etc, and I would FREAK OUT screaming for my life as there was no where to go and I was counting on a head on collision, but somehow it works out. The all beep and honk and then the row of cars lets the passing car back into line to avoid head on collision. I am sure I got a few gray hairs there just from the driving in cars experiences. No need for amusement parks there, just take a fucking drive, you will get your fill of adrenaline. WOW!! I used to think Rome and Boston were the craziest places to drive, with Guatemala as the runner up, but Georgia takes the prize now for wild drivers. lol. It took me like 5 days to get used to the driving, to trust my drivers. By the end of my stay, I was totally relaxed and having fun when they drove. It is just a culture shock if you are not used to it. 

The Pres is so fucking sweet, he makes the body guards take me everywhere and show me shit. Too bad I realized I can use Bable Fish translator on my Crackberry a bit too late, I wanted to tell them I (1) HATE driving anywhere in a car (2) Hate churches and religion all together (3) If we can’t walk there, I don’t wanna go. But alas, we drove like an hour to the country side to see this OLD church, it is from the 1st century. OMFG. I was wearing my flaming RED pants, so eyebrows were raised when I was in the churches we saw. Pffffft!

Taking pictures inside the churches, whilst wearing flaming red pants will surely send you to hell in a hand basket. 

Was super cold inside the churches, everyone was doing those hail Mary gestures and some were crying. There were many little old ladies dressed in black REALLY trying to get money out of us for a little guided tour (unofficial tour) of the churches. They were brutal, like following us and wanting cash NOW. Thing is, I don’t care enough about it to want a tour and they can’t speak English or German and I can’t understand or speak Georgian, so what is the point?

Left ^ Zoro #1 trying to let the ladies in black down gently “no, we are not buying anymore God today, thanks” ha ha. He would never say that. I’m just playin.


This was inside one of the churches. I assume is says “Please do not come into our houses of the holy wearing slutty red pants or mini skirts, you skanks” and or “don’t take any pictures (unless you donate some cash, betch”). Don’t mind me, I am over tired and enjoy pushing the envelope when I am cranky/exhausted. 

Behind the 1st century church, see that tree with all the rags tied to each branch? Zoro #1 told me it’s a “witch tree”. Not sure what he meant, but I saw many of those around. Wondering if that is where the term “on the rag” came from, as in “she’s such a witch when she’s on the rag”. 

A view from the old church ^

What I hated was there was lots of Monk like dudes up there all trying to get money out of us. Hey, selling God anyone? I have to quote my hero Mr. Zappa once again “Tax the churches!!!”  No one has any fucking money in this country because they are so busy going to church all day, every day, they can’t/won’t/don’t have time to work and earn anything. They are WHIPPED. Religion rules here. Still. 

It finally dawned on me how to communicate with the drivers/body guards with the internet translator on my crackberry and I told them I fucking hate churches, religion and basically just want to go for a jog and write my sex column back at my room and they were laughing their asses off. I mean, they were just doing their job and the pres was just being sweet wanting me to see everything, but as I said, if I can’t walk there, I don’t want to go. Planes, Trains, automobiles are no fun for me, I feel trapped like, like I am in jail. Restrained. UGH. 

Outside the churches were locals pushing their handmade gear onto tourist and believe it or not, THIS ^ is a traditional Georgian style hat. I felt like a sesame street character/Muppet in this thing. It was warm as fuck, but I already stand out in my flaming red pants, so I had to pass on this one. 

As we drove to get me some blank CD’s so I could burn the pres and the drivers some more music (HATE the music on the radio in the car here) I got to thinking that Tbilisi looks like Rome, but then I realized, this place is MUCH older than Rome. Those Roman copy cats.  As I write this, I hear massive dog barking going on, as usual, I walk to balcony and look down, and as usual, the dogs are chasing the cars. wtf?

If you read my Rome blog (still not done with that one yet either) you would see what I mean, about how the places look similar. The people here are miles (erm, kilometers) friendlier than the snotty cunts in Rome. That place has turned into the most unfriendly place I have ever been. Lighten up people, perhaps cut down on the espresso and sugar and relax. Tourist are a good thing, they bring money.  The first time I went to Rome in 1991, the folks were much friendlier, I wonder what happened. Perhaps the economy made them bitter, but again, you would think they would be even nicer to tourist, not bitchier. 

I will ad more pics and text as soon as I can, I need to get out and stretch my stems. 


Next day..


Went out to dinner again with the President and his posse in such a great restaurant. It is so COOL how all of his guards scope out the place first and I mean miles before the place you can see cops and guards everywhere. SUPER tight security. I thought the Rolling Stones were VIP and all until I met and hung with Mr. President. It was so exciting to see all of this. I can not stress how efficient and tight they all are. You can tell how loyal these men are to him, it is amazing. I loved hanging with the guards, I always had a couple tall, built, handsome, armed men  around me who always open the doors for me and pay for everything! It’s like having a few WONDERFUL boyfriends around you at all times. lol. 

 After dinner I had the guards drive me to a karaoke bar (forget the name of the place off the top of my head) but these flags hanging were not far from the karaoke joint. 

 Tbilisi even has a Beatles Cafe/Bar. I walked in and it smelt like Grandma’s moldy old cellar and it was empty as FUCK. The stench alone made me run out of there. They mean well, but “ooooh whooo that smell, can’t you smell that smell?”


 This is Zoro #2 (different body guards all the time, I can’t even COUNT how many I met so far). Zoro #2 as you can see, is fit as fuck and easy on the eyes. Walking into places with them is hilarious. They scope the place out and NO ONE gets in their way. The karoake bar was the smokiest place I’ve ever been too (no smoking ban gonna happen there for another 20 years I am guessing. 

The karaoke DJ was a microphone WHORE and would NOT stop singing or talking. No matter who sang, he was there singing right next to the singer, most of the time singing LOUDER than the singer and while the singer gave it their all, the DJ would just start talking into the mic, announcing their name, the name of the song, etc, DURING their song. If he did that in NYC he would get a fist in the face for sure. 

 They had NO JAMES BROWN anywhere on their song list/book. UGH, how can you forget James Brown?? They had Bad Company and loads of random USA/UK hits, but the God Father of Soul? no dice. I sang Ike and Tina’s Proud Mary and brought the house down. Zoro #2’s jaw hit the floor. Super funny. We only stayed a little while as our eyes were burning out of our heads. 

  Zoro #2 asked for some pics of us together, not sure how to get them to him as they are all so KGB, erm, you know what I mean, no numbers or email addresses, etc.. I burnt them onto a dvd and gave it to  a driver to pass onto Zoro 1 & 2. I burnt them SO MAN cd’s of blues, rock, funk, punk and some rap/hip hop too, as I could not stand the crap on the radio on the cars. UGH. They were LOVING the mixes I made. 

 I am guessing this is the tidiest street/passage way in the city. Simply gorgeous. 

Two of the funnies things the Pres said to me was that Ray Charles came to Tbilisi a few years ago, before he died and WHOEVER it was in charge of such things too him SIGHT SEEING. Guess they missed that memo that he can’t fucking see. After the tour Ray said his favorite part of his visit, was in fact, the sight seeing. He probably found it really hilarious. 

Last night before I went to bed, I heard MASSIVE shooting like noises, SUPER LOUD, I wasn’t sure if it was fireworks or another attack from Mr. Putin and his posse. I was really frightened. I mentioned that to the Pres today during his massage and he made yet another wise crack saying that’s why they were unprepared when Russia attacked last summer, as they all thought it was merely fireworks too. Ha ha. He CRACKS me up!!!



One of the many cool shops in Tbilisi ^

The videos I made to go along wtih this trip can be seen here:

PART ZERO (the prequel)

Part 1  

Part 2

From a reader:

“Dear Doctor Dot,

I was chatting with my big brother today and asked him about Georgia and his main points about Tbilisi are:

The locals whilst very friendly have a complete lack of empathy or regard for fellow humankind.
For example – when someone got run over by a car, a policeman merely stood next to the dead victim whose entrails were all over the place and waited for the ambulance to arrive, whilst passers by, including children, strolled by barely glancing over, as though it’s an everyday occurrance.
No attempt to cover the body or cordon off the area.

Nothing worked, such as lifts etc., and his main gripe was the pollution in the air, which he is convinced has affected his health.

He also thought the food was terrible, but this was 5-6 years ago so it might have improved.
He lived there for about 6 months at the Sheraton Metachi Palace which he said was fine.
He recommends a German informal restaurant called “Rainers” but there are probably lots of others to choose from nowadays.

One of my German colleagues was visiting me the other day (I’ve been off work since an accident last Xmas, but that’s another story) and she said that every single person she knows from our company that has stayed in Georgia for more than a few weeks has suffered subsequent health problems…
Coincidence or what?


The New York Times even commented on this blog: http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/08/a-president-his-masseuse-and-her-blog/





Dr. Dot on facebook: www.facebook.com/drdotislovinlife 

Key West Florida winter 2008 ( Dr. Dot’s blog- continued)

This is a continuation of my Key West winter 2008 blog. Part one is HERE


(and I wrote about Key West a couple years ago too, if you want to see that BLOG )



 Video I made of this trip ^


So, I am staying at one of the Heron House hotels in Key West. GORGEOUS and expensive (the whole area is super pricey). I asked for the quietest room they have and I got the loudest room you can possibly have the first night. If you like quiet, do NOT stay in room 42 of the Heron House. It is directly over the office and the gate and doors are slammed every few seconds. AND it smells of serious mold. They moved me the next morning into another room which is extremely silent, no smells at all and is heaven on earth (squeaky wheel always gets the oil). This above is room 42. Awesome location, but as I said, smelly and loud (but very clean). Manager said most places smell of mold down here as it's so humid. 


My feet are loving the sunshine and fresh air. If I could only find a massage here..


 I can't believe how big the tits are in the store mannequins here. wtf? The times they are a changin' 

Above ^ Duvall street, which is said to be the longest street in the usa (but I heard that about a street in Manchester, NH too.. hmmmm. 


 I've been here pretty much every night since I have been here. Creature of habit, microphone whore. This place has karaoke every night and the sound and crowd, are kickin'. If you like seafood, you will love it here, but I hate it and stick to the salad.

Brian is the Karaoke DJ, originally from Connecticut (one of the many that "escape" to Key West and start a new life). The dark haired guy got nuts singing "touch me" by the Doors and ripped his shirt off (amazing abs) but the bouncer made him get his top back on right away, booo! hissssss! He is from Ohio and came with his two female buddies (below). I hung out with them but I forget everyone's names. 

Originally from Ohio, these cuties now live in Ft. Meyers Florida (they came together with the dark haired fellow up above). I will give them nick names and choose characters from Sex and the City that most suit their personalities. The girl on the left in the brown top would be Carrie, girl on the right (who can sing her ASS off) would be Charlotte for sure. Dark haired bloke, well, he would be Smith. Me? Samantha, of course (apart from the fact I HATE fashion). 

Look how sweet Charlotte's feet are. 


Even though Charlotte (and Carrie) is a school teacher and dresses really prim and proper, she was whipping that games ASS. Seems like she is no stranger to the rifle. Her voice by the way, is like butter. 

Continuing along with the Sex and the city name game, this would be Mr. Big (aka Roderick easier to remember a GIANTS name)  sitting on the biggest tree I have ever seen. He joined us. He is from Holland and is about 6' 4" so he towered over us, like this tree. LOTS of Europeans in Key West. LOADS. You would think it would be predominantly Latinos because Key West is closer to Cuba than it is to Miami, but it's not. In fact, Miami is loaded with Spanish speaking folks; not so in Key West. The music scene is really different too. I HATED Miami (lots of disco/techno/house music) and well, I was in on South Beach and it was just a heaving meat market which is fine for some, but I didn't like the vibe. Everyone is too perfect, too on display, too competitive. In Key West, people chill and the music, well, old time rock and roll rules.  A bit too much Jimmy Buffet but it comes with the territory. In NYC you hear too much Sinatra; in Key West it's Mr. Buffet. (not a fan of either, although I do respect them). 

Me looking like a snotty Fag Hag ^ shopping with Mr. Big (who looks a LOT like a German friend I know named Tarzan). 



Typical sight on Duvall street. Anything for a buck. Naked Cowboy, look out, you have competition.

Actually, now that I think about it, I am SURE the real Naked Cowboy goes South for the winter (can't imagine him standing in Times Square at this time of year).  THIS picture of the real Naked Cowboy actually looks like he is standing on Duvall street..





Duvall street ^


Duvall street has LOADS of performers, beggars, tarot card readers, body painters, tourist, BARS, shops and homeless folks who left their lives behind to live in which most people call Paradise. The homeless are kind of a drag as if you don't give them spare change, they snap at you and give you shit (try loudly to make you feel guilty). If you are here for a week, you can't give everyone on Duvall street spare change that asks you, or you will soon be on Duvall street begging for spare change too (same thing with Haight street in San Fran)

 Most every bar down here has live music all day and all night, 7 days a week and this band was taking a break but their mascot was keeping the guitar case warm. CUTE!

 There are free roaming roosters/chickens every where you look and listen here. They are protected by the law and some hate them and some love them. They crow all the time and I think it's sweet, but the locals seem to consider them irritating pests. You will also see several Geckos, Lizards and Cats walking around. This place is like a little zoo. purrrrrrrrrrrr.


 A few blocks from my hotel is one of the beaches (Key West is an island, but some areas only have boats- no beach). Anyways, I walked here thinking I could have a swim, but instead I felt I was invading the homeless folks private beach. You can see them napping and hanging around and the men were trying their best to chat me up and get me to hang out and give them money and/or food but I had neither of those on me and just kept walking. They look really weathered and smell of alcohol, I feel really bad for them and wonder what each one's story is. Where they are originally from? How long have they been here? I read in a book I bought called "Quit your job and move to Key West" by Christopher Shulz that the "homeless get around $100 per day so don't feel bad for them as they earn as much as most bartenders do"


 Lots of rich people come to play here. They spend their winters here and park their yachts in this area. Big contrast going on. Wealth and homeless. It HAS to get you thinking. If not you are surely numb.


Salt water, I love thee. 


I met lots of people here so far and this cutie ^ is one of the hottest women I have ever seen. She is from Russia and a bartender at Ricks. GORGEOUS. 

I think Rick's is where all the pretty ^ people hang out (Key West attracts lots of Gay men- I wonder if he is or not?)  "How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?" The Beatles

 Lori, a native (aka Conch) loves karaoke too and she and I have been singing together almost nightly since I have been here. I had originally planned to come with a few girlfriends (co-workers too) but no one could get time off or cough up the dough for hotel/flights so I followed through and came alone. BEST way to meet people is to go alone. It doesn't bother me one bit to be alone. I recently told one of my closest friends that I am never lonely or bored and he said "that sounds so cold!". What the fuck ever. If you are happy in your own skin, love your life and have enough to keep you busy, you shouldn't have time to get bored or lonely. Clingy, dependent and lonely does not suit me. Am I a freak? If so, oh well, I am a freak. I don't get lonely or bored. PERIOD. This doesn't mean I don't miss certain loved ones when I am not with them, it just means I enjoy the moment. If that is wrong, then I guess I am wrong. But I can't/won't change. 

 The bouncer at Two Friends is from Georgia (the country). I showed him the pic of me and his President and since then he has been spoiling me. He asked me to pose with him and also wanted a copy of the pic of his President and I to show his friends back home. Super nice guy. 

The DJ at Rick's took this picture of me singing TNT (ac/dc) and just emailed it to me ^



 Will work for food?  "there may come a time you can even take your clothes off when you dance" FZ


Exit Only. 


 Remember how I said no one really notices Christmas down here? Guess I was wrong ^

But overall, this is the best place EVER to avoid Christmas stress. There are LOADS of Jews down here too by the way (they don't do Christmas either! :).. Straight from Israel too. Most of the shops are owned by them. Great time to get deals as no one is spending. I got a great pair of shorts for $5!


My two favorite places to eat here are The Cafe (amazing healthy, mostly Vegetarian place) and "915" which has the best wine in Key West and the food is DELISH. BUT it is pricey. 


After reading more of "Quit your job and move to Key West" I thought about it but one thing would prevent me from ever moving there.. NO CONCERTS! There are tiny cover bands in every bar on every corner, but Ac/Dc or Steve Vai, etc, would never come play there as there is simply no venue for that. Closest would be Miami and I wouldn't want to drive 3 hours or catch a flight each time a band I love or have to work on comes to Miami. Pffft. See how much  trouble music can cause? ha ha. Just kidding. 


I made a few videos and will string them together once I get back to NYC..


Anyways, gotta run, literally- great place for jogging. OH, this place is perfect for rollerblading and bicycling too (you can rent bikes every where as well as mopeds). NO need to rent a car, the island is only 2 miles by 4 miles. Walk it baby.



I am back home in NYC now and my stomach is still feeling uneasy. UNFORTUNATELY I didn't get to the part of that book I bought until too late, that explains "All drinking water flows into the Florida Keys within a single 36-inch diameter pipe. Kind of like a giant garden hose". It also explains that the water is tainted with Fecal e-coli bacteria, etc.. hello!! I was drinking the tap water most of the time and my belly felt like there was a war going on inside. NOW I know why. SO if you are heading to Key West, please do NOT drink the tap water. 

I decided there are 3 reasons I would/could never move there:

1) No rock stars: NO big concerts- the Who or the Stones would/could never play there. No space. 

2) Drinking water is dirty. I drink so much water, I would have to get another full time job just to quence my never ending thirst

3) It is over 90 degrees Fahrenheit every day from May – September and the humidity will make you sweat like a pig the second you leave your house- some say without an air conditioner, you would die. 

Oh well, guess I will be one of those winter visitors from now on


“I’ve got nasty habits”

I shouldn't write a blog right now, it's almost 8 am and I am STILL up working. I finally figured out why the president of Georgia hasn't called about his massage (Georgia is at war with Russia). He called and said "Sorry Dr. Dot, I do want a massage, but I have too many asses to kick at the moment". Just kidding. Laughing

I am still fuming mad about Lisa betraying me. Fucking lying bitch! Now I start to think maybe that client DIDN'T run out on her, maybe he paid her and she made up that stupid lie just to keep the 20%. I don't trust her one bit now. She is fired and will be paying a massive fine. She is still trying to bullshit her way out of this saying she knew the band before. BULLSHIT. I sent her to massage them and she emailed me back saying she "has always wanted to meet them". In her paypal note she wrote "one of the guitarist wanted to bring me on tour, isn't that sweet?". BITCH. Rot it hell you lying cunt. I Hope Def Leppard does the right thing, but you would be surprised how far a cute face goes. She will probably cry, lie and beg her way back into Vivian's house and massage him again. Oh well, at least people can't say I tried to warn them. 

 I had a 3 hour massage last night from Sabrina and two hours of acupuncture tonight from another lady. Thing is, I always feel that I eat and behave so healthy, but in reality I have been making big mistakes. I found out the protein shakes I make for myself every "morning" when I wake around 4 or 5 pm are bad for me because of the 1 grapefruit, 3 oranges and 1 lemon I squeeze into them. Apparently all of that citrus is hell for my stomach and bladder. Also, the coffee is also doing a number on my bladder and sleep disorder, so I have to quit coffee 🙁 and cut back on the citrus (which I thought was soooo good for me). AND 99% of what I eat is raw/cold. I eat fruit, salad, shakes, cold beans in my salad, avacado mashed onto whole wheat bread, I mean doesn't that sound healthy to you? I have been told by so many people I have to eat warm meals. So I am doing a whole change now, not gonna like it, but something has to happen as I am a nervous wreck (oh, and the stress has got to slow down, but how?).

The massage biz just keeps growing and growing and not being able to trust people sucks ass. Shitten' kittens. This is nothing new to me. My mom fucked one of my boyfriends when I was younger, my best friend stole my passport to get into a 18 and over Santana concert in NH (Wendy you bitch) and then SHE fucked my boyfriend after. Then another best friend fucked yet another boyfriend. Needless to say, I don't introduce many girlfriends when I am dating a man. Then the employees who fuck me over. May they rot in hell. 

 Hard to be sweet and easy going with all of that shit going on. Sometimes I think "fuck it" and just visualize me selling everything I own and moving into trailer park in Florida to play cards all day with old folks. But that vision quickly fades when I think of all the fun I have making sure touring musicians get a kick ass massage, each stop of their tour. (touring is HELL on the body). So I just plow on. Some have said "business is business Dot" but I thought people who study massage were different. I thought they had a heart. I thought they cared about people and had more integrity then say, a stock broker or lawyer. Guess not. This isn't the first betrayal, but it is the biggest. And then there was the friend I let use  my PC, who installed the KGB key logger and then read my emails and myspace messages for over two months before SHOWING me screen shots of all of my emails. "Down on me, yeah, down on me, feels like everybody in this whole wide world yea, is down on me" Janis Joplin.


I do LOVE life and LOVE people so much, so I will just have to try and trust again and keep on smiling. Lots to do and I guess having too much to do is better that having NOTHING to do. I really can NOT imagine being bored. I am never bored. Not even when I am sleeping. 

I went jogging Sunday eve and saw a bunch of rabbits, looking at me. Then I went jogging again on Wednesday, same area and saw two red foxes in the SAME EXACT spot as the rabbits had been, also staring at me. The wild life is NOT afraid of humans here. I bet the rabbits are fucking scare of those foxes though. I had to laugh when I saw the foxes, thinking of the smart ass rabbits just days before. I would much rather be the fox than the rabbit I tell ya.

Berlin weather is so crazy. One day (day, ha ha, that's funny) I mean, one afternoon, it's hot and humid, next eve it's cold, all the leaves are on the ground like it's fall and it's windy with rain. Like a fucking premenstrual wench. Oh yeah, the Doctors and acupuncturists also tell me taking the birth control pill is also bad. Omfg. How is it that I know some folks who eat french fries, steak, drink beer, smoke copius amounts of ganga and tons of coffee still sleep like a rock and seem fine and here's me, Ms. one glass of wine a week, one cup of coffee per day, salad til it comes out my fucking ears and I am a nervous wreck/stress ball? Could it be they are just punching a clock and get to "leave work behind" when they get home? My work never, ever ends. Go out to eat with me and I am looking at my blackberry 25% of the time. Have to! If I miss an email from Joel from GOod Charlotte, wanting a massage, he may call another massage company, ditto for any other celeb client of mine (and not just celeb clients, any client). 

I am going to bed, as I am starting to get cranky and the construction workers are already here, outside my window banging shit around. Men and their toys.

oh, but first:

 While searching for Lisa's contract to nail her balls to the wall, I came across this PROM picture of mine. Guess which hussy is me? ha ha. How embarrassing!! Rockville High School, Ct. My date was Billy Connelly (spelling?) who was a LOT like Huckleberry Finn. He normally wore jean overalls, no shirt, no shoes, bandanna on his head, smile on his face.  I absolutely LOATHED our prom song "one more night" by Phil Collins. Bite me. I wanted Joey Ramone (whom I was dating at the time to come with me, but he was touring. BUT he made it up to me by playing a show in Ellington for most of my school 🙂

Why didn't anyone take me aside and explain how tacky bleached blond hair actually is? My Mom started that. She put highlights in my hair when I was in the 7th grade. That is too young for that crap. She was just experimenting on me like a lab rat and from then on, my hair was fucked with. I am so glad I let it natural now. Not to sound even more queer than I already am, but I want to quote Cher "if I could turn back time" ha ha. 

DELIRIOUS at this point from lack of sleep. Why even bother going to bed? I should stay up and try to be a good Homosapien and follow the Suns rules.Oh, Rockville High is having a massive Class Reunion in September. Should be fun. See how many people still hate my guts. heh heh. They all know me as Dot Jagger. When I graduated, the principal even called my name out as "Dot Jagger". SO into the Stones at that point. OVER THAT!! Beatles RULE! Dot McCartney sounds way better anyways. I only went to Rockville High for two years, 11th and 12th grade, so the RHS kids didn't exactly welcome this blonde, mini skirt wearing blond rock chick with open arms. But I was used to being the "new girl" in school. Before that I was in Virginia Beach, Virginia at Bayside High and Bayside Junior High (only for the 9th and 10th grade). Before THAT I was in Newport, Rhode Island for some of the 6th and 8th grade and for my 7th grade I went to Thompson Junior High in Dover, New Hampshire, then back to Newport, oh God, don't get me going, in 12 years of school, I was in 15 different schools (still have the report cards here to prove it). Went to school in Memphis, Tenn.  for the 5th grade (going backwards here).

I am so fucking tired of moving and traveling, I could scream. I really envy the people who have lived a stable life, with a stable family, in the same town their whole life, with  a nice house and many pets. What's it like? Maybe in my next life, eh? But I supposed what you have lived through, makes you what you are, so I am fine with all that. The grass is always greener I guess. I am so happy Jasmine has lived her whole life so far in Berlin. I gave her stability (and so did her dad). That is what parents are supposed to do. You are supposed to show your child a life better than the one you had. Mission accomplished 🙂


I got nasty habits, I take tea at three
Yes, and the meat I eat for dinner
Must be hung up for a week
My best friend, he shoots water rats
And feeds them to his geese
Don'cha think there's a place for you
In between the sheets?

Come on now, honey
We can build a home for three
Come on now, honey
Don't you wanna live with me?

And there's a score of harebrained children
They're all locked in the nursery
They got earphone heads they got dirty necks
They're so 20th century
Well they queue up for the bathroom
'Round about 7:35
Don'cha think we need a woman's touch to make it come alive?

You'd look good pram pushing
Down the high street
Come on now, honey
Don't you wanna live with me?

Whoa, the servants they're so helpful, dear
The cook she is a whore
Yes, the butler has a place for her
Behind the pantry door
The maid, she's French, she's got no sense
She's wild for Crazy Horse
And when she strips, the chauffeur flips
The footman's eyes get crossed

Don'cha think there's a place for us
Right across the street
Don'cha think there's a place for you,
In between the sheets?

 Rolling Stones