Key West Florida winter 2008 ( Dr. Dot’s blog- continued)

This is a continuation of my Key West winter 2008 blog. Part one is HERE


(and I wrote about Key West a couple years ago too, if you want to see that BLOG )



 Video I made of this trip ^


So, I am staying at one of the Heron House hotels in Key West. GORGEOUS and expensive (the whole area is super pricey). I asked for the quietest room they have and I got the loudest room you can possibly have the first night. If you like quiet, do NOT stay in room 42 of the Heron House. It is directly over the office and the gate and doors are slammed every few seconds. AND it smells of serious mold. They moved me the next morning into another room which is extremely silent, no smells at all and is heaven on earth (squeaky wheel always gets the oil). This above is room 42. Awesome location, but as I said, smelly and loud (but very clean). Manager said most places smell of mold down here as it's so humid. 


My feet are loving the sunshine and fresh air. If I could only find a massage here..


 I can't believe how big the tits are in the store mannequins here. wtf? The times they are a changin' 

Above ^ Duvall street, which is said to be the longest street in the usa (but I heard that about a street in Manchester, NH too.. hmmmm. 


 I've been here pretty much every night since I have been here. Creature of habit, microphone whore. This place has karaoke every night and the sound and crowd, are kickin'. If you like seafood, you will love it here, but I hate it and stick to the salad.

Brian is the Karaoke DJ, originally from Connecticut (one of the many that "escape" to Key West and start a new life). The dark haired guy got nuts singing "touch me" by the Doors and ripped his shirt off (amazing abs) but the bouncer made him get his top back on right away, booo! hissssss! He is from Ohio and came with his two female buddies (below). I hung out with them but I forget everyone's names. 

Originally from Ohio, these cuties now live in Ft. Meyers Florida (they came together with the dark haired fellow up above). I will give them nick names and choose characters from Sex and the City that most suit their personalities. The girl on the left in the brown top would be Carrie, girl on the right (who can sing her ASS off) would be Charlotte for sure. Dark haired bloke, well, he would be Smith. Me? Samantha, of course (apart from the fact I HATE fashion). 

Look how sweet Charlotte's feet are. 


Even though Charlotte (and Carrie) is a school teacher and dresses really prim and proper, she was whipping that games ASS. Seems like she is no stranger to the rifle. Her voice by the way, is like butter. 

Continuing along with the Sex and the city name game, this would be Mr. Big (aka Roderick easier to remember a GIANTS name)  sitting on the biggest tree I have ever seen. He joined us. He is from Holland and is about 6' 4" so he towered over us, like this tree. LOTS of Europeans in Key West. LOADS. You would think it would be predominantly Latinos because Key West is closer to Cuba than it is to Miami, but it's not. In fact, Miami is loaded with Spanish speaking folks; not so in Key West. The music scene is really different too. I HATED Miami (lots of disco/techno/house music) and well, I was in on South Beach and it was just a heaving meat market which is fine for some, but I didn't like the vibe. Everyone is too perfect, too on display, too competitive. In Key West, people chill and the music, well, old time rock and roll rules.  A bit too much Jimmy Buffet but it comes with the territory. In NYC you hear too much Sinatra; in Key West it's Mr. Buffet. (not a fan of either, although I do respect them). 

Me looking like a snotty Fag Hag ^ shopping with Mr. Big (who looks a LOT like a German friend I know named Tarzan). 



Typical sight on Duvall street. Anything for a buck. Naked Cowboy, look out, you have competition.

Actually, now that I think about it, I am SURE the real Naked Cowboy goes South for the winter (can't imagine him standing in Times Square at this time of year).  THIS picture of the real Naked Cowboy actually looks like he is standing on Duvall street..





Duvall street ^


Duvall street has LOADS of performers, beggars, tarot card readers, body painters, tourist, BARS, shops and homeless folks who left their lives behind to live in which most people call Paradise. The homeless are kind of a drag as if you don't give them spare change, they snap at you and give you shit (try loudly to make you feel guilty). If you are here for a week, you can't give everyone on Duvall street spare change that asks you, or you will soon be on Duvall street begging for spare change too (same thing with Haight street in San Fran)

 Most every bar down here has live music all day and all night, 7 days a week and this band was taking a break but their mascot was keeping the guitar case warm. CUTE!

 There are free roaming roosters/chickens every where you look and listen here. They are protected by the law and some hate them and some love them. They crow all the time and I think it's sweet, but the locals seem to consider them irritating pests. You will also see several Geckos, Lizards and Cats walking around. This place is like a little zoo. purrrrrrrrrrrr.


 A few blocks from my hotel is one of the beaches (Key West is an island, but some areas only have boats- no beach). Anyways, I walked here thinking I could have a swim, but instead I felt I was invading the homeless folks private beach. You can see them napping and hanging around and the men were trying their best to chat me up and get me to hang out and give them money and/or food but I had neither of those on me and just kept walking. They look really weathered and smell of alcohol, I feel really bad for them and wonder what each one's story is. Where they are originally from? How long have they been here? I read in a book I bought called "Quit your job and move to Key West" by Christopher Shulz that the "homeless get around $100 per day so don't feel bad for them as they earn as much as most bartenders do"


 Lots of rich people come to play here. They spend their winters here and park their yachts in this area. Big contrast going on. Wealth and homeless. It HAS to get you thinking. If not you are surely numb.


Salt water, I love thee. 


I met lots of people here so far and this cutie ^ is one of the hottest women I have ever seen. She is from Russia and a bartender at Ricks. GORGEOUS. 

I think Rick's is where all the pretty ^ people hang out (Key West attracts lots of Gay men- I wonder if he is or not?)  "How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?" The Beatles

 Lori, a native (aka Conch) loves karaoke too and she and I have been singing together almost nightly since I have been here. I had originally planned to come with a few girlfriends (co-workers too) but no one could get time off or cough up the dough for hotel/flights so I followed through and came alone. BEST way to meet people is to go alone. It doesn't bother me one bit to be alone. I recently told one of my closest friends that I am never lonely or bored and he said "that sounds so cold!". What the fuck ever. If you are happy in your own skin, love your life and have enough to keep you busy, you shouldn't have time to get bored or lonely. Clingy, dependent and lonely does not suit me. Am I a freak? If so, oh well, I am a freak. I don't get lonely or bored. PERIOD. This doesn't mean I don't miss certain loved ones when I am not with them, it just means I enjoy the moment. If that is wrong, then I guess I am wrong. But I can't/won't change. 

 The bouncer at Two Friends is from Georgia (the country). I showed him the pic of me and his President and since then he has been spoiling me. He asked me to pose with him and also wanted a copy of the pic of his President and I to show his friends back home. Super nice guy. 

The DJ at Rick's took this picture of me singing TNT (ac/dc) and just emailed it to me ^



 Will work for food?  "there may come a time you can even take your clothes off when you dance" FZ


Exit Only. 


 Remember how I said no one really notices Christmas down here? Guess I was wrong ^

But overall, this is the best place EVER to avoid Christmas stress. There are LOADS of Jews down here too by the way (they don't do Christmas either! :).. Straight from Israel too. Most of the shops are owned by them. Great time to get deals as no one is spending. I got a great pair of shorts for $5!


My two favorite places to eat here are The Cafe (amazing healthy, mostly Vegetarian place) and "915" which has the best wine in Key West and the food is DELISH. BUT it is pricey. 


After reading more of "Quit your job and move to Key West" I thought about it but one thing would prevent me from ever moving there.. NO CONCERTS! There are tiny cover bands in every bar on every corner, but Ac/Dc or Steve Vai, etc, would never come play there as there is simply no venue for that. Closest would be Miami and I wouldn't want to drive 3 hours or catch a flight each time a band I love or have to work on comes to Miami. Pffft. See how much  trouble music can cause? ha ha. Just kidding. 


I made a few videos and will string them together once I get back to NYC..


Anyways, gotta run, literally- great place for jogging. OH, this place is perfect for rollerblading and bicycling too (you can rent bikes every where as well as mopeds). NO need to rent a car, the island is only 2 miles by 4 miles. Walk it baby.



I am back home in NYC now and my stomach is still feeling uneasy. UNFORTUNATELY I didn't get to the part of that book I bought until too late, that explains "All drinking water flows into the Florida Keys within a single 36-inch diameter pipe. Kind of like a giant garden hose". It also explains that the water is tainted with Fecal e-coli bacteria, etc.. hello!! I was drinking the tap water most of the time and my belly felt like there was a war going on inside. NOW I know why. SO if you are heading to Key West, please do NOT drink the tap water. 

I decided there are 3 reasons I would/could never move there:

1) No rock stars: NO big concerts- the Who or the Stones would/could never play there. No space. 

2) Drinking water is dirty. I drink so much water, I would have to get another full time job just to quence my never ending thirst

3) It is over 90 degrees Fahrenheit every day from May – September and the humidity will make you sweat like a pig the second you leave your house- some say without an air conditioner, you would die. 

Oh well, guess I will be one of those winter visitors from now on


Merry Christmas


Greetings from Key West, Florida. I am enjoying myself thoroughly here, baking in the sun all day, working out and singing karaoke every night. It's wonderful here. Met some Danish folks last night- WHOLE lotta fun. Found a karaoke bar called Two Friends and they have a live web cam where people from all over the world can tune in online and watch the singers, so last night I had a couple friends texting me telling me they could see/hear me each time I sang and Uncle Jack too. I even sang "Joy to the World" (three dog night) for his baby, Jeremiah and he loved it. WICKED funny- every time a hot guy got on stage, my friends would text me "schwing!!". Karaoke live cam is HERE

They start every night at 8:30pm to around midnight (Florida time). THEN if you haven't gotten your fill, you can drag your add to Rick's , as they start karaoke every night at midnight. I need a break now though, my voice is shot from so much singing (lots of rage against the machine and ac/dc, audioslave, etc) ha ha. So I am just chillin like Bob Dylan on Christmas here, heading to the beach again, yay! Jasmine is in Germany, having a blast, all is well. I have taken a few pictures, but mostly with my blackberry; keep forgetting to bring camera out. Will do so though next time..

Christmas in the sun, with no shopping stress, tacky lights or awkward dinners with relatives you hardly know, in other words, paradise



 Self Portrait on Christmas. That bathing suit top is a bit too small and it makes my boobs look like I'm hanging upside down. Slightly sun burned already.


Santa collecting some spare change before he takes off in his sleigh, I mean, jet ski

Ho ho ho in Key West (literally) heh heh

 I hate how pics come out on my Blackberry, but I always have it on me, and so it goes..


Happy Holidays 


Dr. Dot

Passing of Petra…sad sad blog

It is with tears in my eyes (and all over the keyboards) that I write the words, my dear friend Petra lost her fight with cancer last night


                         ^ Petra                                          Iris and Petra  ^                  

^ Petra                           ^ Billy (Smashing Pumpkins)      & Me


                                                                                  ^ us two with Manny (ex Stone Roses)


    ^ Iris   and Petra                                             ^ Happy times.. Petra and I out in Berlin

I am brutally beating myself up mentally because I wasn't there for her at her bedside. The last time I saw her was October 28th, the day before I left back to the USA. I went to her house and saw her and her twin sister, Iris. I gave them their belated birthday presents and I gave Petra a massage. She was really ill and when I said good bye I burst out in tears, as I knew in my heart there was a chance I would never see her again. Fuck! Life is short, show the people you love how much you love them, don't wait.

Petra was a Libra, a sweet, caring fun person. An optimist, never saying anything negative about anyone,ever. She lived life to the fullest, even up to the end. I want to post some things below, images of things she loved, things she had pictures of in her cool, hot pink and red bed room. She had a red shag carpet, hot pink furniture and heart shaped lights all around, pink curtains and a fuzzy red chair, her room screamed Rockabilly. Here are some of Petra's favorite things, Heaven has just inherited a new Angel … πŸ™

  Petra LOVED ELVIS and the Beatles too


And oooh how she loved Sex and the city! We watched it together many a nights..


                                                                                                                             ^ Petra has tons of these

   <  Petra loved the Lord of the Rings books and films and wore one of those rings

^ Petra knew Johnny really well, but never bragged. She adored him, says he is super kind and fun.

Going to bed now, will rub my puffy eyes to sleep. Now I am faced with another decision, go to Atlanta on Wednesday to see my family as planned

and then fly to Berlin on Dec 1st or change it all around and go to Berlin now. Not sure when the funeral is yet, I hear it can take weeks in Germany.

All I know is Death don't no mercy…

"Well now death don't have no mercy in this land
He'll come to your house and he won't stay long
Look 'round the room one of your family will be gone
Death don't have no mercy in this land"   Hot Tuna

Petra Hammerer, gone but not forgotten…


Ratdog shows (Bob Weir and friends)

Yes, it's been a whole week since I saw Ratdog for the first time out of the 3 times I saw them this past week, but this is the first time I've had the time to sit down and focus on the blog. Now my column, 'Ask Dr. Dot' is due out in many different places, so I have more dead lines to meet and asses to kiss lol. Nah, just kidding, I love writing my column and I am proud to announce it now appears online at which has been goin' strong for 9 years.

They give me a lot of freedom (I am allowed to swear, yay!) compared to other US publications that run my column. So I have the rated PG version and rated R version. I don't like being tamed and having limitations, but I suppose sometimes you have to behave to reach a bigger audience with your advice/talent/what have you.

Back to Ratdog. Ratdog is fronted by the Grateful Dead's singer, Bob Weir. Now that Jerry Garcia is dead πŸ™ the G.Dead still tours, but sometimes members break off and tour alone with their own solo projects. Ratdog has been going on for 12 years now (that's what the drummer, Jay, told me anyways. I first met Bobby WAY back in 1984. I asked him for an autograph, as I was overwhelmed and didn't know I would see him almost everyday for 3 years after that.

Steve Parish, the former stage manager for the Dead (who was with them for like 30 years) invited me backstage to massage his neck during the show, actually on the stage. That is how I met the Dead. My family, (hippie parents) brought me to many shows of the Dead even when I was young, so I was always curious to meet them and see if they were like I imagined.

After I graduated high school, I put all my shit into storage ( I will still dating Joey Ramone) but got sick of the same old scene. I wanted to be free and follow the dead. I stopped shaving, wearing make up and a bra and just turned “natural” you know, granola baby. Needless to say, Joey was shocked the next time he saw me, barefoot and high and 5 pounds chubbier, wearing tied dyed everything and not giving a shit about a thing except what the Dead played the night before.

I have to laugh now, as Zappa wrote a few songs making fun of people like that, exactly how I was at that period, playing my bongos in the dirt in San Fran, in between Dead tours:


Hey Punk, where you goin' with that flower in your hand?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that flower in your hand?

Well, I'm goin' up to Frisco to join a psychedelic band.
I'm goin' up to Frisco to join a psychedelic band.

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that button on your shirt?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that button on your shirt?

I'm goin' to the love-in to sit & play my bongos in the dirt.
Yes, I'm goin' to the love-in to sit & play my bongos in the dirt.

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that hair on your head?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that hair on your head?

I'm goin' to the dance to get some action, then I'm goin' home to bed.
I'm goin' to the dance to get some action, then I'm goin' home to bed.

Hey Punk, where you goin' with those beads around your neck?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with those beads around your neck?

I'm goin' to the shrink so he can help me be a nervous wreck . . .”


I always wore a pin on my clothes of Frank sitting on the crapper, and so the dead heads all called me “Zappa Crappa” in stead of Dot.

There were around 3,000 of us dead-heads who were at every show, tour heads. I never asked for money from the dead for massaging them, I just wanted in to every show (back stage of course and to see every sound check and to occasionally take advantage of the catering πŸ™‚ I mainly massaged Bill and Mickey, the two drummers, but sometimes Bobby would have a back rub and Steve Parish always had a neck rub during the show. (I made braceletes and sold tye dyes to make $$). Jerry sometimes had his forearms and hands done, but he would never take off that famous red t-shirt of his. I am getting WAY off subject here.

I heard from certain band members (Ratdog) that now that the Dead tour without Jerry, that the bass player, Phil has taken charge and he is a bit of a control freak to say the least. This lead to Bob being a bit depressed and drinking a bit too much on the last summer tour. I found out how different even the management is now when I called backstage last summer to see if anyone needed a rub down and the people working the management are absolute assholes, screaming into the phone that “Steve Parish doesn't fucking work with us anymore” and just being snotty pricks.

So much for the hippie-love vibe, that died with Jerry, let me tell ya. Loads of people had been fired to save money and well, increase the income of the remaining folks, which I suppose is only natural, it is the survival of the fittest now isn't it? It's all about the Benjamins now with the Grateful Dead, so don't forget to buy a few t-shirts when you see them so Phil and co. can relax and live the good life.

They were the top grossing touring band for like 20 years, all of their shows were sold out solid and I mean ALL. Guess they didn't save up for that rainy day, tsk tsk.

Backstage at the Starland Ballroom, last Tuesday night, I saw Bob Wier and he said “Hey Dot, long time no see” which was really nice. He seems really happy and healthy now, but yes, he is still wacky. He is hard to describe. Silly, strange, moody, sweet, mysterious but most of all fun.

His wife is about 20 years younger than he is and she looks like Shaina Twain. They have a kid or two together, I saw one backstage at the Beacon theater shows.

Anyhow, it was cool pulling into the parking lot, reminded me of the G. Dead days, everyone smoking doobies and dancing next to their car, each car blasting out a different dead tune. Most selling shit next to their car, like tye dyes, hand made jewelry and food. I was curious about the music, as I had never seen Ratdog before, just Bobby and the Midnights, his other solo project. Ratdog played mainly Dead tunes, check it out

^ I'm telling you, my camera is not the best

And keeping with Dead tradition, Bob had an oriental rug on the stage. The place was full of Dead Heads all twirling and dancing around, just like the old times. I think Bob is happier doing Ratdog than he is touring with the Dead, but they have to tour again for their 40th!! anniversary tour this summer.

I massaged the guitar player (he signed the set list above) and drummer, a hottie named Jay Lane. Hello, his wife is one lucky lady, he is super fun and extremely sexy, like an American Indian with a bit of European thrown in there. He is about 6 foot 5 inches tall and well, aaah, I am swooning still.

They invited me to massage them again the next couple nights at their hotel in NYC and then again at the Beacon Theater shows Friday and Saturday night, both were mega sold out. Loads of hippies standing outside just holding up one finger, as in “I need a miracle, just one miracle”.

My pal Steve, the tour manager goes outside at every show, when there are 3 songs left and gives out a bunch of “miracle tickets” as he calls 'em to random Dead Heads, which is so sweet of him.

Steve at work> Steve is a hard rocker, and so I hung out pretty often in his tour office listening to his favorite group, the Deftones on his computer. I am certain the hippie music is just not his thing.

I was told Bob's wife didn't want me to massage Bob. In fact, he used these very words “She would hand me my left nut”. LOL! She shot me dirty looks every time she saw me backstage. What ever snotty, get over it, if I wanted to shag Bobby, I would have done it LONG ago, before he met you.

She was just out for a few shows, bothering, I mean, visiting Bobby. No wonder most rock stars leave their ball and chain at home, no man wants to be told what he can and can not do, especially a rock star. No big woop, I had a blast hanging out with the lads, massaging them and then on the last night, going out to karaoke with a couple of them. One thing I will always remember, is telling Jay, the drummer, how it irked me that I never got to see Jerry play 'Dear Prudence' live.

I have seen the Dead over 300 times and it was always the show (Jerry solo) that I missed when he played that tune. (Also, I can't believe all those years and not one picture of them in person. You just don't ask the Dead for such a thing, it was like a religion and Jerry was the pope, you just didn't. I mean, how many pictures have YOU seen of Jerry and a fan? None. Anyhow, Jay said, “I will get Bob to play it tomorrow”. Sure enough, they played it Friday night, it was fucking incredible.

If Ratdog is heading your way, try to catch their show, it's almost like the old days, in fact, it is better than seeing the dead from 1986-1989 because when they released that song “touch of grey” and went on MTV for the first time in 1986, the secret party was over, it was laden with fake hippies selling crack and scalping tickets, it just wasn't the same anymore. Now that the smoke has cleared and they hype is over, Ratdog, even though Jerry isn't there, is a special exprerience, a secret party, so keep it low.

I just love how colorful the Dead passes were. I have to get my Ratdog passes scanned in, they have a snarling, vicious dog on them. My book 'Butt Naked and Backstage” (which isn't out yet in the US) goes into great detail about my years on Dead tours as well as every band I come across. My blogs are just quickes, someday the long version will be available for you if you want. It's a rock and roll diary, yeah baby.

Females I love

Finding a good, honest friend is almost as hard as finding a snowball in hell. The ones in my life, I hold dear, they live scattered all over the globe, but we are always in touch. Here are my favorite females:

That is Betsy, she is like the Mom I (almost) never had. She is so funny and talented, her oldest son was my guy for a while, waaay back. It ended between us, but I kind of adopted his mom as my own πŸ™‚