I finally had the pleasure of not only seeing Paul Weller live in Concert, but getting to massage him as well. I have heard about Paul for years, most of the British bands I have massaged all rant and rave about the man, especially Oasis. They must be his biggest fans. When I massaged Oasis, they played the Stones, Beatles, but most of the time, they had Paul Weller on. Noel told me all about him, as I had never heard of him before. I have heard of his former band, The Jam, but have to admit that I don't have any of their records.
Some call him the MODFATHER of Rock and Roll, as in, his music is very MOD. The band he is touring with presently are incredible. When I first walked backstage, the bass player, Damon Minchella yelled "I met you backstage at Live 8!!". He was playing bass for the Who and I was massaging those guys that day.. Then the Drummer, Steve White said the same thing. He is the brother of Alan White, the former drummer of Oasis. You see, the Rock and Roll world is very small, so don't piss anyone off, especially me heh heh.
I was in the production office, waiting to see who would want a massage first and I noticed that every one kept coming in and ironing their clothes. The whole band was busy getting their kit ready for the show. Paul came in and said hello. He said he wanted a back rub, so instead of getting on my massage table, he just sat his gorgeous self down and I started his rub down right there. He is in no way snobby or arrogant, he is really down to earth and cool. He was a bit sun burned as they just got back from Spain. I asked him casually what he thought about Frank Zappa. He said "I have no opinion about him at all, I have maybe heard one track of his my whole life, you see, they never played him on the radio in the UK, so I have nothing to say about him". I think that is the first guitarist I have ever met who hadn't anything to say about Frank. Like Frank or not, everyone usually at least knows his stuff and has respect or at least an opinion about him. I was on a mission from that point on.
He over payed me and was very grateful for my massage. Then he got out a piece of paper and wrote the set list for the evening. I have never seen an artist write their own set list (some type it out) . His tour manager, Ken, who has been with him for years and years told me he does it every night and the set list is different every night, depending on his mood. Ken made me a copy of the set list:
Yes, those are the treasures that I love! ^
After a few songs, my friend Martina came to the show and I got her backstage. We went to the front row and watched in awe.
< Paul in concert
Most of the audience here in Berlin were Brits that live and work here (some Irish as well) . The place was heaving and in heaven. Paul was in a great mood and on the ball. He gave it his ALL!!!! I knew then what Noel was on about, how great he plays and his voice, oh God , how SEXY!!! It's a tad like Joe Cocker and Rod Stewart, but unique. An English bar tender I know here in Berlin was standing next to me, he pointed at Paul and said "He is the sexiest man on Earth!". I know DAM WELL the bar tender is married and far from gay, but Paul has this aura, like Bowie, that draws even hetro men in. His music and voice are THAT good. At one point his leather guitar strap broke, but he just carried on and held on and played the best he could until his guitar tech came on stage to sort it out. It seemed to me that the whole band never stopped smiling once. The guitarist, Steve Cradock, who also plays in the band called Ocean Colour Scene has every good reason to smile. His guitar solos were so sharp and tight, he sometimes stole the show. Don't even get me started about the bass player. Paul obviously knew what he was doing choosing that band to tour with. The bassist & drummer are in a band called The Players Lounge as well.
Paul and I (he is mad cool!) ……. Giving him some deep tissue elbow action ^
Steve White (drums) getting his hands done… ….just like his brother did years ago when he was with Oasis ^
Note: in that pic of Oasis, I have Alan Whites hand in mine, massaging it, that chick in the red dress is a belly dancer, she was dancing for the opening act. Noel said "Dot, there's some old Slapper out in the hall, she speaks German, I can't bloody understand a fooking word she's on about, can you translate?". She asked if she could pose with the band. They said ok, but when she sat down next to Alan, her sequins pulled a few threads from Alan's sweater, he was not amused and that is why the chick has such an apologetic look on her mug. If you look closely, you can see the magazine cover that I had the band sign, which is now proudly displayed in my autograph section.
Steve the guitarist getting a rub down after the show ^
< Martina was lovin' life
Ok, after the show, Martina drove me home to drop off my massage table and to change. I grabbed a copy of Frank Zappa's cd 'Joe's Garage' which is a good starter kit for someone who doesn't know Zappa. I also grabbed a copy of my Bitchfest cd heh heh.
We arrived at the bar they were at and Steve, the drummer was talking to fans, I slipped a current copy of VIZ in his hand and his face lit up. He stopped talking to the fans and started going through the issue. Paul greeted Martina and I with a peck on the cheek and asked us what we wanted to drink. I was really tired and said "a Martina, no ice, no salt". Paul and Martina both said "WHAT?" and laughed at me. I was like OH!! Dam!! I mean a "Margareta, no ice, no salt" what the FUCK?! Martina on the brain!! Paul was so sweet, getting everyone drinks and even bringing them to his guests, like a good host does! I slipped the Zappa cd in his hand and said, I hope on tour you find a chance to give Frank a listen. He was really please. He assured me he would. The drummer and bass player are madly into Zappa, but Steve the guitarist and Paul both needed the started kit. After a couple drinks, I got the balls to give Paul my Bitchfest cd. I told him it's no big woop, just my cover band and to please listen to it when he was alone. He said "NO WAY! I will play it for the whole band and crew, really loudly"! ha ha.
I asked Paul if he checks his myspace.com page. He said "WOT? Never heard of it". He said he doesn't spend time online. I told him myspace may seem like a silly concept, but if the radio doesn't play his music, how are young people supposed to know about it? Myspace is the perfect way to get your music out there for all walks of life to enjoy (or loathe). He agreed in the end, but still, he does NOT have anything to do with his myspace profile. Some artists on there are really on there, but Paul is not one of them.
Steve the guitarist ( I have to keep saying that cause the drummer's name is Steve too). Steve got a foot rub in the bar and then decided it was my turn. I tell ya, guitarist of any kind always give great foot rubs, don't let them tell you otherwise
< My favorite thing on EARTH! FOOT RUBS!
You see, I let Steve off easy with the price of his massage, so I guess he felt obligated to rub my feet YAY! 🙂
< Last but not least, Damon.
What a cool Mo Fo he is!! He LOVES to talk about music, so we just went on and on… Try to catch these guys live in concert if you can, you won't be disappointed.
Q. My boyfriend's spunk is so chunky, I would have to chew it to get it down, not only that, it smells like fish. We're talking chunky style clam chowder here and he expects me to swallow his salty tide. He gets super annoyed if I don't do this. Everything else is fine, but I am not down with this, I would need a blender. Can you come up with a solution to this? Gagging Gail
A. Bring a bag of croutons into the bed room and tell him you need them to go with your clam chowder.Maybe that will bring the point home. If not, next time he cums in your mouth, french kiss him right away, slip some of his stew into his mouth and see how he likes it.If you don't have the balls to do that, tell him he needs to drink more water and wank more often, that is what's clogging his pipes. If that doesn't work, tell him you will only blow him if it doesn't involve taking his stew into your mouth. Smell and taste are nature's way of telling you this partner is or isn't the right one to breed with.
Q. Dear Dr. Dot- My job takes me on the road sometimes for up to 8 week at a time. My wife and I are in our mid 40's and our sex life is great when I'm at home but when I'm away, she becomes all about everything but sex. I don't know how she cannot feel the need for relief as I do during these long times apart. We have two young boys (14/16) and she says she's too busy to even think about sex. I have suggested other ways to spice up these weeks apart but she seems to want no part of it. I've tried sexy e-mails and several suggestive type phone calls. I even sent her X-rated pictures of myself but still NO LUCK! She says she doesn't even think about sex when I'm away. I don't know what to do to get her motor running from long distance. She knows I need more sexual attention during these lengthy road trips but also makes it clear to me she's just not in the mood when I'm away. This response (or lack of) has become extremely frustrating and has me resenting her somewhat for her disinterest. Please help! Should we see a specialist? A. No, don't see a specialist, it will put too much pressure on an already tense situation. Most wives want less sex then their husbands, I get these emails every day. All you can do is play upon her romantic side.. Tell her she looks good, you miss her smile, you can't wait to massage her feet again, give her genuine compliments ('you are so smart and kind, you are my wonder woman') and this will hopefully get her to want to reward you with sex (or as women sometimes prefer, 'love making'). Have you never heard the expression "women fuck to cuddle, men cuddle to fuck"? Keep that in mind at all times and follow through with your romantic promises, foot rubs get all women horney! Just don't slack off, do it for at least 20 minutes, in a candle lit room, with a glass of wine at hand, it should work! By the way, most women don't get turned on by x-rated pic's, it takes more than a visual to get us going AND you should be happy that she says she is "not interested in sex at all when you aren't around", it would be hell if she was gaggin' for it while you were away..the UPS man would be having all the fun.
Q. Please help me. I am 39 yrs and I have been married since I was 22. My husband cheated 18 yrs. ago, and 3 yrs. ago. He set up a meeting via Internet with a woman..That woman was me! (he didn't know it). He seeks "relief" with porno and live Internet chats. A while ago I came home to find him with his pants down on line-live.
This has all devastated me. Our sex life is horrible. Perhaps 7 times last year. He blames me for his behavior and our lack of sex. He is partially right. I am a typical woman with emotional needs-when emotional intimacy is lacking-I can not have sex-if so, I feel used. This porno has been an issue almost from the start of marriage. At first, being young I was devastated-but learned to understand the testosterone beast. I do watch it with him and enjoy it. The live chat thing has been addressed, and I've many times expressed my insecurities and he "stops"-only for it to show it's ugly face again later. He has recently told me that he masturbates after we have sex-thinking of the sex we just shared. I feel like a failure-I feel like I will never be enough for him.I still love him and other then these sex issues, he is an honorable man and truly a devoted father, keen business man and great friend. I don't want to leave, but I feel that it is the only thing to do. I deserve better, and so does he. I just don't know how to leave, it never seems like a good time to break up our family. I am graduating college next month and my husband just started his own business-these things were our life's goals. Funny, we're accomplishing them and I feel like it's over-I feel like my best friend died. When I tell him he hurts my feelings when he does the live-on-line chats, he says he knows it will hurt me but that he needs the "release"-this tells me that one day that release could be a woman. That is something I do not want to be around for. Pissed off Pat A.
You say he is an 'honorable man' and 'devoted father & friend' and you still love him, so why even think of leaving him? Bruce Springsteen sings "every body's got a hungry heart" and he ain't lyin'. Even if you broke up your family and found another man, the next man will probably watch porn secretly as well. Even if you watch it with them, they sometimes want to watch it alone, secretly. As we all know, forbidden things taste the best! Stop taking his naughty side so seriously. The more you freak out about it, the more he will do it. If he is treating you good, that is all that matters! You can NEVER control what another person does and why would you want to?
If he is blatantly cheating and throwing it in your face, then you should consider leaving him, but it seems you are hunting for clues and spying on him (setting up traps for him on-line- tsk tsk!), which means you have WAY too much free time on your hands and are looking for evidence that he doesn't love you. You have been together so long, it's only natural to have sexual fantasies about others and porn makes it easier. If I were you I would concentrate on your career and kids. When he wants to show you love, welcome it with open arms. When he wants alone time with his cock, find something else to do. It doesn't mean he doesn't want you or love you, it doesn't mean he will soon cheat on you, it means he wants to have a wank, plain and simple!
Q.
Because of my heart being walked on by a self-centered piece of human shit in woman form almost a year ago, I feel I am unable to fall in love with anyone. I see women, I want them, I take them, they give themselves to me, and it makes me a great big man slut. I get laid so much it's beyond comprehension, and it's fun. Nice and empty fun. But for whatever reason I feel as though women are motivated by money – that basically without money I would never be getting laid at all – and that sort of makes me the forever-John and the women I meet, all of them, forever-whores. Pretty fucked up perception and I don't want it anymore. I want to believe in LOVE again. How? Help.
Bitter Bob
A.
I am wondering how these "money motivated whores" even know your financial status? You must flash and flaunt it otherwise they wouldn't know you have it. You have a catch 22 vicious circle on your hands/heart/genitals. You get laid because of your money, then loathe the women because they want you for your money (rock stars have the same dilemma… they get laid thanks to their status, but sometimes feel empty because they are aware of that, then numb their pain with either drugs, alcohol or yet more easy meat). Just as men rubber neck at young, perky breasts, a tiny waist and child bearing sexy hips, women look for security, which is measured by money. Most of the time they subconsciously gravitate towards successful men as they want that safe nest to bare children, so it's USUALLY not an evil motivation, it's human nature, just like in the wild, the female mates with the strongest male, you can't bash them for this and you certainly can't change it. What you can change is yourself and how you court the opposite sex. Try meeting women who aren't in the VIP bars, clubs and restaurants, try using your charm and humor to attract women, perhaps in the park, dance classes, gyms, etc.ALSO, sometimes going for the hottest, most gorgeous chick is the problem. You may want to lower your standards a bit, try a cute but chubby woman, you get my drift. The tall, slender, hot women KNOW they are fiercely sought after and they usually go for the richest or strongest one they can find. Chubby plain jane types try much harder and will appreciate you more. (Have you seen Steve Martin's "The Man with Two Brains"? If not, it's a MUST SEE!).
Never pull out your trump card by telling them your financial status or even flashing that Rolex, then you will never know if they want you or your security. Haven't you seen Eddie Murphy's "Coming to America"? If not, rent it. True love does exist, but you have to play the game of love with patients, it doesn't happen over night. You have to love yourself and I mean really love being you, before another person can. The survival of the fittest routine is even more extreme in big cities, so you have to use your wits when hunting down the heart of gold you yearn for. I feel for you and hope you find your true love. x Dr. Dot
I have been dating this chick for over 6 months now, and she is always talking about having my baby, but I am only 26 and she is 24, I told her it's too soon for me, I want to sew my wild oats. I do care for her and love fucking her, but never wanted her to get pregnant. She always told me she takes her birth control pills, so I never used a condom with her, now she is 4 months pregnant and refuses to get rid of it. I told her I will NOT marry her or even live with her. I feel trapped and angry as hell. She tries to make me feel guilty and wants me to be only with her. Pulling my hairs out here Dr. Dot, please help, give me advice.
Balls in a vice, Vinnie
A.
Lets get one thing straight, if you don't want offspring and/or diseases, always use condoms.
You can't blame it ALL on her. But now you have this situation on your hands, so "should've, would've, could've's" are useless. You did the right thing by telling her where you stand, you shouldn't marry or co-habitate out of pressure and guilt. Be as kind to her as possible without leading her on and tell her you will be a good father, friend and support her and your child the best you can, that's all you can do. You live and learn, you screw and reproduce.. Try to see the positive side of it, she is bearing your child, a gift that lasts forever. Just try not to piss her off.
Q.
Dr. Dot,
This weekend I am planning on driving up to my boyfriend's house to see him. I want to surprise him with something new in bed, but don't know what to do……do you have any suggestions that won't cost me an arm and a leg??? (I am a poor college chick.) I am willing to do almost anything in bed, but have no idea what "new" thing to do to him.
Clueless in Jersey
A.
Dear Clueless,
First, your shopping list: A cheesy, inexpensive table cloth made of soft plastic, the 99 cent ones you can get at Walmart for picnic tables. Then you need a few bananas, sugar free whipped cream, sugar free chocolate syrup (both can be found in the diabetic section of your grocery store) and some cherry's (either fresh ones or those freaky neon red ones), and some chocolate or rainbow sprinkles/shots/jimmy's whatever the hell you call them in your area for the finishing touch.
If you haven't guessed by now, YOU will be HIS Banana Split.
For a dramatic effect, shave your pussy nice and smooth for him and walk into the room wearing just a long coat, belted tightly so he can't see what's under (and sexy shoes/boots). With a very confident and sexy look on your face, hand him the bag of goodies and tell him to look inside for his surprise.
He will no doubt be like "eh?", that's when you take off your coat and say "Make me into a Banana Split". He should slice the bananas in half first of all, while you lay out the plastic "sheet". Lie down naked let him decorate you with the goodies.
Don't worry about the mess, just let him go wild and decorate you and then lick it off of you, don't spoil the mood by whining about your hair, etc. The reason the sweets have to be sugar free, is to avoid the worst yeast infection known to man-kind. In fact, the most expensive part of this surprise, may be the cream you will need for your snatch if any sugar gets in there, hence the sugar-free grub. This is a surprise that he shall never forget and it makes a great conversation piece the next day/week at work.
Finally! I am proud and relieved to announce we have a very dependable, strong and ambitious Massage assistant in Hollywood.
It is so hard to find a female massage assistant in Hollywood that is qualified, strong, honest, dependable and quite frankly, good enough to
be on our team. Good things come to those who wait and we did. Please let me know if you need a massage in Hollywood, I will
set you up with Laura and you will be healed in no time. See her picture and read more about her below.
Thanks!
Dr. Dot
"Hi, My name is Laura. I'm originally from San Antonio, Texas and raised in Los Angeles, California. I became a Massage therapist in January of 2004. While I was going through school for massage I was dating a drummer. He was the one I practiced on most of the time. I learned about his body mechanics and what kind of massage techniques to apply to his specific needs as a musician. I realized there must be a great need in the music industry for Deep Tissue Massage.
My real focus when I started was to work with professional athletes since I'm an athlete myself. Working in Hollywood has really pulled me more into the world of movies and music. I've worked on famous musicians and people in the film industry. I am certified in many types of techniques. My specialty is deep tissue. I always sink into the muscles rather then just “dig in”. I have an uncanny ability to sense what is going on in the body just by touch. I can sense injury, pain source, and tension. When giving a massage, I take a lot into consideration before customizing something to fit your specific goals. During the massage, I’m very focused on what I am doing and blocking out everything else around me. I love what I do and it shows in my end results. People often tell me I have magical hands, they are surprised and delighted at how deep I can get into the muscles.
I was thrilled when Dr. Dot contacted me. I was tested and passed with flying colors. I’m grateful to be a part of her international massage team."
I was walking around Berlin the other day and couldn't believe my eyes. You know they take this open mindedness a bit too far sometimes, I mean, just look at some of the Architecture….
But then again, my blog is sometimes too "open minded" as well…
It was the movie Rock ’n Roll High School
that turned me on to the Ramones. I had this burning teenage lust to meet the
singer, Joey Ramone. He looked so sexy! I’m not sure if it was how he sang “I
want you ‘round” so sensually to the girl in the movie, or how he wore his
jeans so snug on his boney hips, but I just had to meet this man.
In the movie, it’s totally impossible to even get a ticket to see the Ramones
in concert, much less to meet them in person. So I was going out of my mind
when I saw them for the first time at the Agora Ballroom in Hartford,
Connecticut, when I was 15. Before the show, I started talking to one of their
roadies, and he said he would introduce me to the band if I showed him my
tits. I was like ‘no deal’.
He let me watch the show from the soundboard anyhow, where you could see the
whole stage. The lighting person then was a guy named Arturo Vega, who
designed their logo and all of the record covers. He did sound, lights,
managed and organized the whole tour thing, and anything else the Ramones
needed at the time. Arturo was at the sound board and he asked me if I wanted
to meet the band (he kinda rescued me from the horney roadie guy who wanted to
see some TIT). So naturally I was over the moon at the offer. About twenty
minutes after the show, he took me backstage and upstairs to the dressing
room.
The band was very sweet to me. DeeDee Ramone, the bassist, was acting all
crazy, making wild faces and smoking.
< DeeDee spitting
Johnny, the guitarist, was not at all
like I imagined. Not overly friendly, definitely not a flirt. The drummer at
the time was named Ritchie. He looked good, but he was involved with a ballet
dancer and he wasn’t very chatty to other females.
Then came the moment that I spoke to Joey. He was sitting alone in a corner.
Joey speaks very softly, and you have to listen up or you’ll miss something!
But everything the man said was funny as hell. This I found unbelievably
attractive. A man that can make a lady laugh has it all! He asked for my
number, and said they come to Connecticut often and that he would call me up
next time they were in town. I was in heaven! Joey signed my left tit, and
wrote “ To OL’ Dot, love Joey Ramone” and made the “O” in “OL’ go rite around
my nipple, I still have
Now I was even more crazy about the Ramones. At the time I was living with my
Grandfather and an Aunt in Ellington, CT. Bless their hearts, they had
absolutely no control over me at all. I did whatever I wanted, whenever I
pleased. Sure, they complained sometimes, and frowned upon certain things, but
they were too busy to actually tighten the leash.
Anyway, Gramps can be very grumpy, especially if woken up in the middle of the
night. Joey would usually call late at night, after the gig. I was thrilled,
but sometimes Gramps would answer the phone beside his bed before I could get
to the one in the kitchen. He would scream down the hallway, “Dot!!!
Joey is on the phone, and it’s two o’clock in the God Damned
morning!” But I would still get on the phone every time. I’d have to sit on
the stairs that went from the kitchen to the basement and talk to him very
quietly. It was so great to hear from Joey, my „first love” – like a dream
come true.
He would tell me where he was and what they were doing, and ask when I could
come to the next show. Joey lived in Manhattan, and most of the shows would
happen on Fridays. So from then on, after school on Thursdays, I was finished
with school until Monday. I was almost never in school on Fridays in the 11th
and 12th grades, all because of those concerts.
Uh, by the way, I had told Joey that I was 19 years old. I know, I know,
that’s lying, but I knew if he knew how old I really was, he would never have
been interested. My breasts surely looked 19 years old, so the tiny white lie
went over without a doubt.Most young girls make themself older and as we all
know, most older women make them self younger. *sigh* -women!
I went everywhere to see the Ramones. Any show in Connecticut, Rhode Island,
New York, all over New England – and I was there. I even flew to Virginia for
a concert once!
^ Me and Vera (Dee Dee’s first wife) at a Ramones show in Virginia Beach. I know,I know my HAIR!
Joey and I were an item, and I always got taken care of. After the shows I got
to ride in the minibus back to the hotel or to the next gig, sitting right
next to Joey. I always massaged his feet and hands in the mini van, and later
on I would massage his back in the hotel room. (Joey had a really bad back,
totally out of line.)
DeeDee always had the back seat and he would toke on a joint and tell the
weirdest jokes and stories. We never needed a radio! Arturo sat in the
passenger seat, and Monty, the Ramones’ tour manager, drove. Monty never cut
loose and partied; he was serious about his job. Once and a while I got him to
soften up and smile, to relax. Sometimes a little shoulder massage while he
was driving helped.
Sometimes I would be so damn tired that I would put my head in Joey’s lap and
he would play with my hair for hours. It was heaven. Joey was actually very
shy and withdrawn. He wasn’t a loudmouth; he was very smart, funny and gentle.
He didn’t talk much, but when he did speak, it was always wise, sarcastic, or
hilarious. When he kissed me, he would put me on his lap and hold me, and the
kisses seemed to last forever. He had the softest lips oh GOD how lovely they
were.
^ Joey and I (that is a fake fur I am wearing so calm the fuck down)
After a while, I became a part of the Ramones scene. I even helped out a bit.
Before every show, Joey had a routine. He put on his fingerless leather gloves
and his stage clothes – which varied from time to time, but it was usually
very tight dark jeans, a sweatshirt, and sneakers. Then he would find an empty
room and do these very loud vocal exercises, clearing his sinuses with very
loud honking noises. No one was allowed to watch, but I was always waiting for
him outside the door, so I heard it all. I just thought it was great to be
able to witness all these pre-concert preparations. I still enjoy seeing what
all the stars do before shows. Some pray, some meditate. A lot of them do
vocal exercises. I have always found every aspect of backstage prep just as
exciting as the show., and sometimes even better!
Sometimes I would help Joey off the stage. Normally this was Monty’s job, but
I did it whenever I was around. Joey wore very dark tinted glasses, and it
would be so dark when the lights were off at the end of the show – and he was
so damn tall – he needed someone to hang onto, to help him see to get down the
ramp or the stairs.
Then there were the favors I did for DeeDee. At the time, DeeDee was married
to a gorgeous woman named Vera, but he also enjoyed nice scenery backstage. A
„looking at the menu, but not ordering” kind of attitude. DeeDee would have me
go out into the audience before and after the show to „find a cute chick.” So,
with my good eye for beauty, I would scout around and find the cutest looking
girl. I’d tell her DeeDee wanted to meet her, or ask her if she would like to
meet DeeDee.
I would bring her backstage and introduce her to the gang. DeeDee would have
his very dark Sun Glasses on, so you couldn’t even see his eyes. He would just
casually say ‘Hi,” and stay sitting where he was, usually in a corner, and
hardly talk to the girl! Talking to her was my job. I would just chat with her
and try to make her feel comfortable. It was actually very difficult, because
they never knew what was going on (no one did).
Girls would wonder why they were brought backstage, and the only real reason
was to light up the room, to give the band some eye candy. Even though it was
DeeDee’s idea, he would just smoke his joint and stare, or even pick his nose
in front of the girl. He didn’t care. This behavior usually scared the shit
out of the girl, and she would ask to excuse herself and quickly disappear.
Once I asked DeeDee why he picked his nose when the girls were around, and he
said, ‘Well, I don’t want them to fall for me. I just like to look at them!’
It was hilarious.
THE RAMONES II, from Dot’s diary:
The absolute highlight of my whole time with
the Ramones was the concert they played in my „home town,” Ellington, CT. It
was summer 1984, and I was begging Joey to come play in my tiny little town.
„But there isn’t even a concert hall there,” he argued. So I told him about a
restaurant in Ellington called the Country Squire. I told him the Country
Squire had a little stage, and they sometimes had country acts there. And
besides, the bartender, Kenny, was the biggest Ramones fan in the world.
So, after a lot of pleading and foot massages, Joey agreed. I can still
remember doing sit-ups in my grandfather’s living room, watching MTV, and
seeing the VJ’s face when she read off the Ramones’ tour dates. When she got
to Connecticut, it sounded like she was asking a question: „The Country
Squire? Ellington, Connecticut?” (the Country Squire is now called
Cippinno’s ). All my friends from school called me in
disbelief. They all knew I was hanging out with Joey, but still no one
believed they would come to Ellington. It’s in the middle of nowhere! It’s a
cow town!
Of course, most of my high school showed up for the gig. An hour and a half
after the show was scheduled to start, there was still no sign of the band,
and I was sweating bullets. Everybody was teasing me, saying the Ramones
weren’t coming, that it was all a joke. Then the mini van finally pulled up in
the gravel parking lot. I was practically crying for joy.
The guys jumped out and started explaining why they were late. Just up the
road by our local 7-11, the cops had pulled them over, apparently for
speeding. One look at the Ramones, though, in all their black leather, and the
cops had a field day. They searched the whole van for clues of a rock band’s
party materials – but they found nothing. The police tried to keep them there
as long as possible anyhow. It was probably the most exciting thing that had
ever happened to them. I mean, how exciting could it be to work as a cop in a
town like Ellington?
Finally, the concert began. I remember Joey hitting his head on the ceiling
during the show, because he is so frickin tall. He cut his head – it was even
bleeding a little. But they kept on playing.
During the break, the band and I went out back to get some air. The guys were
like, „Dot, there are cows surrounding us, and there’s corn everywhere. What
the fuck is this place?” I was so happy, I just wanted to marry Joey and live
happily ever after. And all my friends were totally flipping that the Ramones
were playing in our town. It was Ellington being put on the map.
Joey wanted to stay with me so he and DeeDee came over to my grandparents’
house. Gramps, who even Joey called „Grumpy Gramps,” made them both sleep in
the living room. The next morning, I remember bringing them to Vernon, the
next town over. They wanted to ride the go-carts. It was quite a sight, as
Joey’s legs were a frickin mile long, so it was hell for him to squeeze into
the tiny go-cart seats. This is why I loved Joey. He was so fun, drinking
chocolate milk, riding go-carts, making me laugh. He was like a big kid.
As always, it was really fun hanging out with Joey. He didn’t talk much, but
everything he did say had me in stitches. He didn’t flirt with anyone or even
talk to other girls. He made me feel like the only girl on earth. I remember a
lot of other details from that time.
Joey, Arturo and I often went out to eat
Indian food when I was in town. It was like a ritual. I remember Joey had a
cat named „Mouse.” Joey loved having his feet rubbed more than anything, and
he would massage my back. This was way before I became a professional
masseuse. He was so generous and caring, so romantic. I remember he would hold
me in his arms and kind of rock me, and he would pet my hair. Unlike most
boys, who would go right for the naughty parts, he always wanted to make me
feel comfortable. He was an awesome boyfriend, and I couldn’t get enough of
him.
^ Richie (was the Ramones drummer for a while)
* I remember the Ramones played a place in New Haven CT called Toads place.
You absolutely had to be 18 to get into this place. The owner demanded to see
my ID but naturally I didn’t have one as I was still under age. Joey told
him that I was with him, but the prick didn’t care. He said under NO
circumstances
was I allowed in the building. This argument went on for a few hours and
finally
Joey said “either she comes in or we don’t play”. How romantic was that? Well,
we won and the show went on. What a man!!!!By the way, here’s some Ramones trivia: Joey told me that the name Ramones
comes from their love of the Beatles. In the 60s, when Paul McCartney would
check into hotels, apparently he would use the name “Paul Ramone.” Supposedly,
Paul took this from his album RAM which has a song called “Ram On”. In the
beginning of the Ramones’ career, they were being marketed as the punk
Beatles, because of the Beatles haircuts and matching punk clothes, four
members, etc.
—————————————————————————————————————
RAMONES, NOVEMBER 1989
In November of 1989, I was living in Berlin doing the Hausfrau thing my
twenty-year-old husband and six-month-old daughter, when the Ramones once
again entered my life. I was thinking that my rock & roll days were long gone. Then one day the
phone rang. It was Arturo, telling me the Ramones were playing that night in
Berlin. It wasn’t that far from our house, so I told my guy that I wanted to
go and say hello.
It was the call of the wild, echoing in my ears once again, going, ‘Rock and
roll never forgets, Dot! Come back to us!’ I brought Benjamin and my daughter
– with the stroller, the burp rag, the whole family thing – to introduce my
family to the Ramones. “We’re a happy family” was ringing in my ears. I showed
my daughter off to the band, took a photo of Joey holding her in her little
snowsuit – November in Berlin is cold!
Joey didn’t want to meet Ben, and Ben couldn’t have cared less.I understood
Joey,I wouldn’t have wanted to meet his new girl either,we obviously still had
feelings for eachother. When the show started, it got mega loud as usual, and
I did not want my daughter to get scared. So we left without even seeing the
show. But contact with the music scene stirred something up in me again. I had
been trying to ignore it, but I couldn’t any longer.
By the time the Ramones came back in 1992 I looked completely different. I was
wild, dressing like Madonna, wearing mesh clothes, and acting as carefree as I
ever had. They couldn’t believe how many times I changed my ‘image,’ but back
at the hotel Joey told me that he adored them all. We sat for hours in Joey’s
room, C.J was there too, it was the first time I met him, it was fun to hang
with the new Ramone and Joey,my old flame. While we were chatting, I made use
of the time by massaging Joeys big feet, that was his favorite, a firm foot
massage,with little to no oil on my hands, so he could “feel” my hands better.
When I said good night, Joey kissed me on the cheek and made me promise to
keep in touch. I would call on holidays and every time I went to America, I
would call Joey and we would have a nice chat, so we did keep in touch.I
still,to this day,know his old number by heart.
——————————————————————————————-
THE RAMONES VI, from Dot’s diary, January 1996:
The Ramones were just in
Berlin as part of their “Adios Amigos” tour, which is supposed to be their
last tour ever.
^ Joey, me and Monte back stage at Huxley’s Neue Welt
^ Marky gets a foot rub back stage in Berlin
^ CJ afer his massage
(CJ took over where DeeDee left off in the band)
It was great to see them all again, especially Joey. After the show, he wanted me to come back
to the hotel with them in the van, as it was a bit far from the gig. Johnny complained that only the band
should go in the van, because it was too full. Joey told Johnny to shut up and put me on his
lap and off we went to the hotel. You could have cut the tension with a knife.
We all got into the lobby, and everyone wanted to rush to their rooms for a
shower. I told Joey I would meet him in the bar, but as soon as I got out of
the elevator on the second floor the other elevator opened and Joey came out,
as if he was in a hurry. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me he
would clean up later and that we should sit and chat in the bar now.(this
melted my heart). So we sat together for a while. All the Germans were
staring, of course, because Joey looks really unique. So he suggested we drink
up and just go to his room.
I thought it was so sweet that he hurried to meet me, and now he wanted to
talk in private. Up in his room, Joey told me he was dating someone, but he
still kept being incredibly sentimental with me. I massaged his feet and he
played a cassette for me that his voice coach had made for him to practice
while on the road. He did all these vocal exercises for me (just like old
times!). It was awesome, and once again I felt privileged to still be so close
to Joey after all these years.
Right before Joey died, he would email me and tell me how he was doing. I told
him I was writing a book and I wanted him to read the Ramones chapters I wrote. It
took him ages but finally he read it all and wrote back to me “not bad, but take it
easy on Johnny ok Dot?” I was floored. My orignial material really was brutal, as in,
I spoke my mind and mentioned how basically everyone felt about Johnny but I edited it as Joey
wished and was nicer to Johnny (MEOW!) . That just shows you what kind of man Joey was.
If you you know anything about the Ramones, you would know that Joey should have been
the last person to request that someone be nicer to Johnny (Johnny famously stole Joey’slong time Girlfriend from him,
(thank God othewise I wouldn’t have been with Joey)
^ Mr. Grump (Johnny) in Providence, R.I, doing the doughnut thing.
My next “close encounter of the Ramones kind” was in the summer of 1998, when
DeeDee called me from New York, asking if he could come and stay with me for a
while, and maybe his wife would come, too. He told me some really long stories
about the weird hotel he was living at in Manhattan.
He said he wrote a book and he was doing art, but he really wanted to come to
Berlin. DeeDee grew up in Berlin. His mother is German, and his father was a
US soldier. He wanted to resurrect his music career. He was really into rap
now, and he asked me to find some German rappers who would like him to rap
with them.
DeeDee’s wife Barbara is from Buenos Aires. She was 19 at the time, and only
14 when they got married. After a Ramones gig in Buenes Aires, Barbara, who
couldn’t speak any English at the time, asked DeeDee for an autograph. DeeDee
can’t speak any Spanish, but somehow they fell in love, and now they’re a
pair.
I picked them up from the Berlin airport in my little Volkswagen, and I
couldn’t believe how DeeDee looked. He was incredibly skinny, and his head was
almost shaved, and the hair that was there was gray.
Dee-Dee and Barbara coloring in my living room ^
Barbara is a cutie. She looks more like a Ramone than Dee Dee did sometimes. She has that original
Ramones haircut. Black hair with long bangs. A pageboy cut, you know? Like the
Beatles had. And she has the same exact tattoos that DeeDee has, on her
forearms. It’s a row of five skulls going from the elbow to the wrist, on the
underside of the forearm. So I figured it must be true love.
I have already learned my lesson about having stars as guests in my house. The
first thing you do after you pick them up is take them grocery shopping.
Otherwise you’ll be sorry. So we went to the grocery store and it was
hilarious. Just imagine DeeDee, super jet-lagged, talking my ear off up and
down the supermarket aisles. They bought mostly junk food, noodles and coffee.
No health food. Probably to keep up the Ramones tradition.
Next on the agenda: where can I get DeeDee some weed? Naturally they can’t
bring their own, and it’s legal in Germany. But grass is hard to find. Hash is
everywhere, but he wanted grass. I didn’t know many people who smoke; only one
friend I know smokes regularly, but he won’t sell it. He will smoke with
people, but doesn’t want to deal it.
I tried to explain this to DeeDee, and he got increasingly angry. So I brought
him and Barbara over to my friend’s house, and my friend laid out a hell of a
lot of hash and grass and we all sat around chatting. I explained to DeeDee
that it’s not cool to just show up, smoke and leave. That he has to get to
know the guy and have a nice chat. And then they can smoke together.
They looked at a lot of old German antiques that this guy had, and books,
photos. But you could see it in DeeDee’s eyes how impatient he was getting.
He wasn’t used to not being in control, and I couldn’t help him out in this
situation. I simply don’t hang out with potheads here.
Finally they smoked and DeeDee loved it and he asked if he could buy some. He
wanted a lot, but the guy said no. But he gave DeeDee some to take with him
anyway. The amount he gave him was generous, but it didn’t last long.
Then DeeDee started bothering me constantly about grass. I was getting
annoyed. I was giving them a free place to stay and taking them sightseeing
and getting him press galore, so I felt he should be more grateful.
It was easy for me to get DeeDee Press attention, because I am already famous
in Germany. I had my book, and I was appearing on every German TV show
possible. So the press is happy when they have a new story with me.
One of Germany’s most popular TV stations (like ABC, or NBC) is called SAT1.
The have an evening show similar to Entertainment Tonight called Blitz. They
came to my house and interviewed us while I was massaging DeeDee.
He can speak a little bit of German, and I helped him along when he was stumped.
It was hilarious.
They filmed us for four and a half hours, although they only showed eight
minutes on TV. That’s typical with TV. Even though they had hours of footage,
they chose not to edit out DeeDee trying desperately to put his T-shirt back
on. He thought he was stuffing his head through the hole for the head, and he
was trying to stuff his head through the arm hole. It was frickin hilarious to
see DeeDee with his head stuck in such a tiny hole.
I still have this interview on video. So we helped each other out to get
publicity, and I am still grateful. There was a constant stream of journalists
in and out of my apartment the whole week DeeDee was there, and his photo was
in every Berlin magazine. The press didn’t know before that DeeDee was from
Berlin.
Apart from interviews, searching for pot and staying up all night smoking on
my balcony, DeeDee and Barbara spent a lot of time playing with my daughter.
She loved DeeDee and Barbara, because they were like kids, too. They
especially liked to color with her.
DeeDee would draw all these crazy things for her and she loved the way he
talks. He would say the funniest things like, ”I can’t believe she (Barbara)
likes me. Look at me! I’m ugly!” And he would say it in such a childish voice.
Sometimes even today, my daughter tells me to ” talk like DeeDee.”
DeeDee grew up in Berlin, and he was bored out of his mind in New York, so he
came up with the idea that we should swap apartments for a year. I was
actually thinking about it for a minute.
Me massaging DeeDee in my Berliner flat (1997?)
I like DeeDee, but I think the music business has made him a bit eccentric to
say the least. He has mood swings like New England’s weather changes! He told
me he wrote two books, but couldn’t afford an editor, so the books are printed
unedited, with a shit-load of mistakes. I find this unique, and typical
DeeDee.
All in all, DeeDee has a good heart. While he was in Berlin, Arturo called. He
was also in Berlin, with the Misfits, a punk group from NYC. Arturo was doing
the same for them that he did for the Ramones: a little bit of everything.
Lights, sound, merchandising, graphic designs for the merchandise, etc.
Arturo invited us all to the Misfits gig, in a club here called SO36. It was
small and trashy looking; a punk club. The Misfits know DeeDee already, and
invited him on stage at the gig to sing a few Ramones songs. The crowd went
wild!
Barb and Dee-Dee at Misfits gig ^
^ Doyle getting a rub down in Berlin from my healing hands
The Misfits liked me very much. Jerry, the bassist, and Doyle the guitarist both asked me to massage them after the gig.
Jerry was extremely sweet to me, and told me I could come on the rest of the tour if I wanted, but
I declined.
The Misfits line up has changed a lot since then. They had Marky Ramones on drums for a while…
Well, anyway it was great to have another round of Ramones, no matter how
strenuous it was. “We’re a happy family!”
* Update.
I asked Monte why I wasn’t mentioned in his book “On the Road with the Ramones”
and he said it was because I was so young when I dated Joey, that it could make Joey look bad. But
it was my fault, I never told Joey my real age…
I still see Monte sometimes when I go to Arturo’s house. Arturo is one of my
favorite people, no one on earth is as dedicated to the Ramones legacy as he
is. He has a lovely dog named Diesel who I could just eat alive, he is so
sweet! He is a boxer and is getting a bit old now but still wags his nub every time I come over.
^ Arturo Vega and I at one of his Art shows at the Niagra bar
^ Arturo’s tatttoo. He replaced Marky’s name with his own..ouch.
Little fact not all Ramones fans know, Johnny’s ex wife is busy suing everyone she can. She has sued Vera, Arturo, Marky, Mickey (Joeys brother) and everyone else she can as she just can’t stand it unless she has ALL of the control over the Ramones legacy. Pathetic.She wants EVERY SINGLE penny. She tried to prevent Vera from telling her own story in her book ‘Poisoned Heart’ even though the book had NOTHING to do with Linda or Johnny. She made Vera’s life HELL and cost her thousands of dollars in lawyer fees. Tsk tsk. Linda wants to own the Ramones logo, all the song rights, get all the royalties etc. So sad. She runs around dressing in the nasties clothes EVER (fur, micro mini skirts (isn’t she 60 years old now?). Karma, where are you?
It is with tears in my eyes (and all over the keyboards) that I write the words, my dear friend Petra lost her fight with cancer last night
^ Petra Iris and Petra ^
^ Petra ^ Billy (Smashing Pumpkins) & Me
^ us two with Manny (ex Stone Roses)
^ Iris and Petra ^ Happy times.. Petra and I out in Berlin
I am brutally beating myself up mentally because I wasn't there for her at her bedside. The last time I saw her was October 28th, the day before I left back to the USA. I went to her house and saw her and her twin sister, Iris. I gave them their belated birthday presents and I gave Petra a massage. She was really ill and when I said good bye I burst out in tears, as I knew in my heart there was a chance I would never see her again. Fuck! Life is short, show the people you love how much you love them, don't wait.
Petra was a Libra, a sweet, caring fun person. An optimist, never saying anything negative about anyone,ever. She lived life to the fullest, even up to the end. I want to post some things below, images of things she loved, things she had pictures of in her cool, hot pink and red bed room. She had a red shag carpet, hot pink furniture and heart shaped lights all around, pink curtains and a fuzzy red chair, her room screamed Rockabilly. Here are some of Petra's favorite things, Heaven has just inherited a new Angel … 🙁
Petra LOVED ELVIS and the Beatles too
And oooh how she loved Sex and the city! We watched it together many a nights..
^ Petra has tons of these
< Petra loved the Lord of the Rings books and films and wore one of those rings
^ Petra knew Johnny really well, but never bragged. She adored him, says he is super kind and fun.
Going to bed now, will rub my puffy eyes to sleep. Now I am faced with another decision, go to Atlanta on Wednesday to see my family as planned
and then fly to Berlin on Dec 1st or change it all around and go to Berlin now. Not sure when the funeral is yet, I hear it can take weeks in Germany.
All I know is Death don't no mercy…
"Well now death don't have no mercy in this land He'll come to your house and he won't stay long Look 'round the room one of your family will be gone Death don't have no mercy in this land" Hot Tuna
I had only been in Berlin for 24 hours and was already massaging the amazing Stereophonics. I wasn't even close to catching my breath or unpacking, but nevertheless, not tired enough to turn down such a gig.My friend Quinner, whom I've known since 1992 is on tour with them. He invited me to come rub everybody down. I have never met this band before and certainly wasn't familiar with their music. A friend of mine from the UK told me “they are as huge as Coldplay! Go see them!”. I was so tired from my jet lag, I was really not in the mood to go anywhere, but dragged my tired ass to the Columbia Hall anyways to see them all.
Glad I did. What a great bunch of people. The management was sweet as pie and so was the band. The singer, Kelly has an incredible voice, rough and strong, super powerful. It was a sold out show and the place was heavin' with Brits who live in Berlin. I could hear every song perfectly from my massage room. I didn't see much of the show, as they smoke so much in Berlin, the air makes your eyes blood red within minutes. The band was not amused at how smokey the place was. It's so ignorant when people smoke at concerts, the smoke kills the singers voice and makes it hell.
^ Kelly and I (slap that arrogant look off my face k?). You can see my Leopard Bra, how cheesy..
Anyhow, the bands main members are Kelly Jones (singer/guitarist/song writer) and Richard Jones (Bass). They come from South Wales (yummy accents!) and have been friends since like the 3rd grade (that's what Quinner told me anyways). The drummer is from Argentina and is called Javier Weyler. The keyboardist, Barry, is from Manchester and had gorgeous eyes, like most Mancunians by the way…. I didn't take his picture though, slipped my mind, too much going on.
^ Richard (6 feet of fun)
After the show they all got a massage and we hung around havin' a laugh and what not. The roadies were in and out of the dressing room and even they were cool. One of the cool things about being in Berlin is that when bands pass through, they are usually on their way to another country and they give me certain things that they can not bring across borders, loads of small change and other goodies… YAY!