How to help stop the madness?
Click HERE
and/or
Click here
and/or HERE
and if you really have time on your hands, you can write to the Ivy in London, the restaurant that serves Foie Gras on a daily basis, by clicking HERE
Myspace WHORE
It is sunny in Berlin, but really cold. Not just the weather either 
I have to say it is getting harder to adjust each time I go back and forth from NYC to Berlin. Takes longer each time. The differences are amazing. It's cleaner here in Berlin and more organized but the people just do not smile on the street and if you make eye contact with them and grin, they look at you like you must be drunk and/or crazy. Note to self: stop smiling.
Jasmine is back from Italy and can speak really good Italian (she would stop me and correct me "It's NOT GOOD, it's WELL!!" but hey, I think if James Brown sang "I feel well" it just wouldn't have had the same impact. I feel GOOD dammit. Well, not really, my throat is still keeping me down, making me sleep 10 hours a day. Going to a new Ear, Nose Throat Doctor today, see what SHE says. If it's true the American Doctor "Forgot loads of tissue!".
Anyways, it is sooooooo great to see and squeeze Jasmine again. My true love. My sweetie pie. She's a big girl now and wants to go live in NYC for 5 months or so. NOT Hoboken, she wants to live directly in Manhattan and will do so soon. OMG, more sleepless nights to come. I often ponder having another kid but would I just worry even more? Does the love outweigh the worry? I am sure it does. I am so stuck in my ways now though, I love sleeping in; sleeping until I feel like it. Traveling where and when I feel like it. If I have another child all that shit will come to a screaming halt. But I now have the funds and capability to have a nanny, to do the boring work: laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning.. which would leave me more time and energy to give more fun love to the child and sneak in a jog or two as well as regular concerts and karaoke nights.. oh the decisions. I am a Libra and can never decide anything.
My Birthday is this Friday. I hate birthdays. I think anyone over 30 hates Birthdays. BUT it is a fact, we all grow old (unless we get shot, run over or die of cancer before old age sets it). I guess one has to embrace it, but I will remain immature and youthful as long as possible. I am very immature. I admit it. I find myself gravitating to older women (STILL) to get my Mommy fix. Never got that motherly love so I crave it, still. Any women who read this and have a child or are thinking of having a child, be sure to love your child the best you can, as often as you can or they will grow up clinging to older women, like I do, it's pathetic.
Joe Jackson just called, he will come over again for another massage. He came last week and pointed out something to me that has never, in 18 years of flying back and forth from Berlin to NYC, occurred to me. Joe was trying to get a massage at like 8 pm last week and I said "Oh, no, I fall asleep at 7pm for a couple weeks after landing, thanks to Jet Lag". Joe says something that made me feel dumbstruck. He goes "Wot? You go to bed at 7pm and get up at 6am, that means you have Backwards jetlag Dot". LOL!! We talked about it and he is right. It makes NO fucking sense that I get up early after flying from NYC to Berlin. If I go to bed at 7pm here (Berlin) it is 1pm in NYC. Then I get up at 6am here but it's only midnight in NYC. But that's how I've been doing it for the last 18 years. So I have Backwards Jet Lag, as diagnosed by Mr. Joe Jackson. heh heh.
Anyhow, the two pictures below were taken on my balcony in the USA (notice Danny in the background)..Someone from myspace sent me (well, my assistant in Baltimore) this t-shirt to me as a present. I LOVE IT.
Gotta run, ttyl
x
Does the US Government take too much time off?
Berlin, baby
Sooooooooooooo, back in Berlin. The flight, as predicted, killed my ears and throat. Whine ,whine, whine. I know. Since I have been back, I have been going to bed at 7pm and getting up at 6 am. Can't seem to stop this insanity, but I am sure once I get better and go for a late night of karaoke, this early morning crap will be cured. I sit here for hours working online, thinking to myself, what do people do this early in the morning? I feel like I have too much time on my hands and all of my friends are still sleeping.
Simon, of American Idol/X-Factor Fame has been in touch and I will hopefully be massaging him again soon. Ditto with Joe Jackson, Harry Connick Jr. and Rod Stewart and his entourage. Finally Harry will be able to get a massage from me personally. He has been using my team for ages but has yet to meet the Doctor. He even spoke about my team on stage one night on his tour, saying how much he loves Dr. Dot's massage team. He will freak when he gets a massage from me, he ain't seen nothin' yet
The guilt of not blogging has been rather strong, sorry about that. I went to my local Ear, Nose, Throat doctor yesterday here in Berlin, just to see how things were in my throat and hear a different opinion and this Berliner bases Doctor freaked out when she looked in my throat, thus spreading panic into me. She said (all in German of course) that the Americans butchered me, that there is still lots of left over tissue he (my USA based ENT Dr. ) "forgot" and that I am bound to have many more tonsil related problems as there is still left over tonsils lurking about in my throat. GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, when I told her I was home 2 hours after the operation, she turned a nice shade of maroon with rage. She didn't believe me and when I convinced her she was still irate and slagging off the American health care routines. She told me in Germany you have to stay "AT LEAST" one week in the hospital after such an operation. Not so in the USA, where they ask you to leave as soon as you wake from the anesthesia. Buh Bye they say as they shove you out the door…. "don't call us, we will call you".
The pro's and con's between the USA and Germany have been taunting me for 18+ years now, I am a Libra and have trouble making up my mind about every thing, so this is driving me batty. "Should I stay or should I go now?" runs through my head all the time. So afraid of making the wrong choice, that I make none and continue to live two lives, spreading myself thin. Naturally there are pro's to this situation, otherwise I wouldn't keep doing it. Hard to get bored if you keep moving "I don't know but I've been told, you never slow down, you never grow old" a quote from a very underrated Tom Petty..
So before I left, as you may know, I went to see Steve Vai and had fun hanging out with him. Somehow we got to talking about Farts, as you do, and he said "Farts are like God's little joke on us". So I went online and ordered him a fart machine. I sent it express mail up to Christin, my friend and also the worlds biggest Vai fan. They are pals, Steve always makes time for her, so she is not just a fan. Anyways, they met at a local Starbucks in Boston before the show, and she gave him my fart machine.
Steve & Christin ^ – Steve opening my Fart Machine 
Anyways, Jasmine returns tomorrow from Italy (she has been studying Italian in Bologna). I can't wait to give her mad hugs and kisses, yay!
Gotta run, things to do..ttyl
x
Back to Berlin
So I am leaving in a few hours back to Berlin.. hate flying and I mean LOATHE entirely. I am sure with the dry air on the plane my throat will be killing me. NOT looking forward to this one bit. But, alas, Berlin is calling and I have to go.
One last pic before my flight, another shot of the popular puppies (from my friends in the UK). They are so cute I could cuddle them all day and night. Can't you just smell their puppy smell? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah 
Ask Dr. Dot ( Buy her new boobs?/ Catching up on the Pill & Groupie love)
This is my syndicated Sex Column. Feel free to write me with any problems you may be having and no need to be shy, I always change the person's names around.
x
Q.
How can I politely hint to my girlfriend that I want to buy her a new pair of tits for her Birthday?
Hers are nice but less than a handful. I love her but need more Breasts.
Tittie Man Stan
A.
She will either be offended (imagine she bought you a penis extension because your knob wasn’t big enough for
her) OR she will let you buy them and get turned on by all that extra attention she is suddenly getting from men
(her confidence may soar) and she may want to try them out on those other, adoring men, who also love her new
implants. Unless your girl asks you for them, it’s probably better just to enjoy what she has and use your
imagination. Don’t fix what isn’t broken.
Q.
I am probably too young to be reading your column (I am a 15 year old girl) but I learn a lot from you and education
is never a bad thing. I am on the pill and sometimes I forget to take one. I have a steady boyfriend and yes,
we do screw very often. My question is, what if I sleep over his house and forget a pill or two, can I make it
up by taking them when I get home? I don’t want to get pregnant; my Dad would kill both of us.
Little Suzy
c 
A.
No, you can not make up for forgotten pills. If you take two at once, you will throw up violently (well, it may take 3
to make you blow chunks). You just have to be religious about taking them. Take one every morning you wake and if you miss a day, take it the next morning you can. The only way to avoid getting knocked up is by using condoms or not fucking at all. If you missed a day or two, put a rubber on him to be extra safe. If he whines about the condom (like most guys do) tell him it’s sexier to wear a condom than to be changing diapers.
Q.
I have fallen for probably one of the most unavailable men on the planet and can't get myself unhooked. I keep showing up at his gigs, as he is a hot Brooklyn rocker dude, he keeps coming home with me, or in the past, me to his, and we have sex – which is OK. And then he leaves a few hours later. The sex has been increasingly more like 'meat and potatoes' mainly because I think he does not want me to get too attached to him and fall in love. He never takes me out on a date – we only have sex after his gigs, I am a 38 year old groupie to a 40+ rocker. Why do I do this? Because I love the warmth he creates at his shows, because I think he is a brilliant writer and I am in love with his voice and have found so much music I like through him.
This has been going on and off for a year and a half. I don't want to marry him – just have some sort of passionate breakthrough -how can I make him feel something and show it?
-Groupie Love
A.
First of all, if you fall for unavailable men, you may subconsciously feel you don’t deserve to be loved. Dig deep, find out why and fix it.
I am totally against trying to convince a man to like you. The men either love you, or they don't. I have also been in your shoes, and it doesn't feel good, it feels like you are number 2, or maybe even number 3 and that is not good for one's self esteem.
You are settling for tiny scraps of affection he tosses your way when it's convenient for him.
It may go on like that forever, or until you demand more.
Dating a pop/rock star is never easy (look at Jerry Hall, Pam Anderson, Heather Locklear).
If the man isn't head over heels for you by now, he never will be.
I am sorry if you were expecting tips on how to convince him to love you, but I have to speak my mind. Great blow jobs do keep a man happy,
but you should only do that if you like to do it, not to convince a guy you are the one for him.
Successful and famous men are used to having women fall at their feet and do whatever they want, whenever they want, so they usually end up
falling for a women who doesn't give a fuck about their fame or fortune, one that acts indifferent; one who is a challenge. All men LOVE a challenge and face it, you aren't one for him. You are his booty call, and maybe not his only booty call.
Shake things up a bit by not being available for the monthly meat & potatoes. Maybe it would heat things up if you went to one of his shows with a hot male "friend" to finally see if he gives a shit or not. I totally understand the groupie love; the hero worship; I would probably do the same for Paul McCartney, but then again, I would pretend to not really care about who he is, like Heather did when she met him (yeah, right, an English girl who doesn’t know who the Beatles are). Only difference would be I wouldn't fuck it up like she did.
Q.
My wife got pregnant last summer and she miscarried about six weeks into the pregnancy.
She thinks it happened because we had sex right before she lost the baby. The sex was a
little rough, but everything I've ever heard is that there's
no way having sex can cause a miscarriage. There's many other factors that could have
caused it, and she knows it. For one thing she smokes, even when she's pregnant.
She's pregnant again, and she's afraid to have sex,
fearing it could cause her to lose this one too, yet she's still smoking as much as ever.
I just don't understand this. Doctors have told her, smoking is not good for the baby,
having sex will not hurt the baby. Yet she's more focused on giving up sex rather than her smokes.
How can I convince her that it's okay to have sex, but put it gently that maybe the smoking has
been the problem the whole time?
Future daddy–or not?
A.
Sex will not cause a miscarriage. Smoking will. Smoking increases the risk
of losing a genetically normal baby. Women who smoke more than
14 cigarettes a day are about twice as likely to miscarry.
The risk of miscarriage increases with the number of cigarettes a woman smokes.
Women who smoke during pregnancy are ignorant and selfish.
Go online with her and surf, there are endless articles that prove sex is FINE
during pregnancy, and smoking is can be deadly. I feel for you buddy, I really do.
Q.
I wank nearly every day so I am worried would I run out off cum, so how many
times can we cum?
Young, Dumb and hopefully, full of cum
A.
Lucky for you, you are a never ending fountain of spunk. Your balls produce about
about 300 million sperm every time you cum; they start brewing a new
batch as soon as you shoot your wad. It's impossible to run out of sperm.
In fact, the more often a man cums, the more sperm he produces, which explains why
Men never use up all their sperm. Wank away my friend.
Q.
I am in a tough situation and bet you can help. I was friends with this guy long ago,
and he got married and I became best friends with his wife. In fact, I get along with
her much better than I ever did him. Before I became such great friends with her, he used
to ask me to let him use my apartment to screw other girls. As time passed, this stopped
because he noticed that his wife and I were best buddies. Now it bothers me badly not to
tell her the truth that I know he cheats on her. He doesn't treat her well anyways and I
just wish I could tell her he is not worth the stress he puts her through. I am afraid but
something inside me tells me she has to know. Do I tell her or not?
Stuck with the Truth
A.
Would YOU want to know if your man was cheating? Even though the truth will set you free,
it may well turn you into the enemy. The messenger usually gets shot. Some people are so
in love that they don't want to believe the truth, even if you had photographs of him
cheating, she may find a way to deny it; to defend him. She may end up thinking of you
as the one trying to break up her marriage. What would you gain? Nothing. If she is meant
to find out that her husband is a lair, and then she will. What will be, will be. If she finds
out and knows you knew all along and asks why you didn’t tell her, blame it on me.
Steve Vai tears up NJ
This just in:
My family (Dad's side) down in Georgia just called and they said they won #1 place in the corn bread competition and 10th place (out of 300 hundred applicants) in the annual Stone Mountain Chili Cook off!!!!!!!
Lisa is down there with them raising hell and they are so ecstatic they took a giant trophy for their corn bread! They call themselves the Killer Bee's Chili team and they compete every year at this Chili Cook off down there. I think I will join them next year, sounds fun. They told me there were several cover bands playing at the all weekend festival, a Hendrix cover band called VooDoo was the best (my Dad said).
From left to right ^ My Dad's sister, Aunt Caron, her son JC, Aunt Nancy (Dad's other sister + favorite Auntie ), Allyson my Dad's wife of over 25 years, My DAD :), Melissa (Aunt Caron's daughter + my niece) + the girl Kneeling is Chantel a friend of Melissa's who helps them every year at the cook off.
So congrats to the whole Fam Damily for their cooking talents 🙂
Last night, the 28th, was 10 days after my tonsillectomy and even though I probably should have just stayed home and rested, I couldn't resist the call of the wild and went to the Steve Vai show at the Starland Ballroom, in Sayerville, NJ, my favorite venue in the world. I used to work at like 2 concerts a week there and know the whole staff. This place is SO FUN to go to, I love eveyone there, the cook, the bar backs, the roadies, managers, they just all rock.
Everyone always hangs out in the kitchen and cracks jokes. I warned everyone that I would be coming but couldn't speak loud or much thanks to a hurt throat but that plan went out the window, I simply had to speak and catch up with my old friends. One friend in particular was in dire need of some tender loving care. Two weeks ago, Pauls wife of one year gave birth to their first child, a baby boy.
The wife died 4 days later due to complications from her c-section. So he is beyond gutted. I couldn't massage last night because my Doctor said you can't workout or work for at least a month after a tonsillectomy but I brought one of my best massage assistants with me, Koree, to be there to massage anyone who needed it at the Steve Vai show and so I treated Paul to 30 minutes of massage from Koree, who has hands of steel, like butter, I love her. Paul LOVED his massage and felt a little better, the
poor guy 🙁
Paul is a massive Dead head and always has the Dead or solo Garcia playing in the kitchen, even during shows. He just cranks his stereo up louder to drown out whatever act is on stage lol
Nick is a fucking NUT ^ I love him madly. He makes everyone who enters the Starland Ballroom howl with laughter.
< I know a few people with that tattoo
It was great to see the "mad fiddler" again, Ann Marie ^ I am just kidding, she is a violinist..
When Steve introduced the band on stage, he mentioned how he "stole her from Jethro Tull" with a sharp laugh. It is true, I asked her. She was touring with Jethro Tull and then auditioned for Steve Vai and instead of doing the next leg of the Jethro Tull tour, she joined Steve on the road and the rest is history. This woman is so talented and gorgeous, it's hard to take your eyes off her when she is on stage. She challenges Steve during the show, her violin, his guitar, it is amazing to see and hear, absolutely mad!
The Bass master, Bryan brought his parents and introduced them to me. He looks just like his Mom. The NJ native was beaming all night but you could tell backstage that he was missing his cutie Kira Small, who is on tour with her band at the moment.
Zack is young fresh guitar blood. Read about him by clicking HERE
Steve is giving this 20 year old guitar genius a chance to shine by letting him open for him at every show and even invites him on stage every night for a number or two. Frank Zappa did the same for Steve when he was 20, plucked him fresh out of the Berkley School of Music. So I guess Steve is keeping the faith and sharing his spot light with Zack as Frank did for him. What a man Steve is. Zack showed me all the movies he has made on his lap top and I am pretty sure he will end up a movie director one day, as he is amazing at it.
Speaking of Lap tops, everyone on Steve's tour except for Bryan Beller uses an Apple. I feel so old fashioned using a PC still. I have to get a Mac I guess to keep up with the times. Steve said PC's are crap compared to Apples and he said Blackberry's are junk compared to the iPhone. Why oh WHY did I just order a new version of the Blackberry (the Curve). I wish I hadn't now that I have seen how fucking cool the iPhone is. Oh well, maybe I will just give my Curve to Jasmine and get a freakin' iPhone next.
I got to spend a lot of one on one time with Steve before and after the show, yay. He showed me his iPhone for about 20 minutes and it made me loathe my Blackberry with a vengeance. He showed me how you can type in any address and zoom in on it with the satellite and we found my house and saw it on his phone! He is indeed Mr. Gadget. Love the pic he gave me ^ I think I will have it framed in silver and wear it as a necklace charm.
We talked a lot about Frank Zappa and his music and his son Julian, who is currently in Massage school, inspiring to be a member of my massage team. That would soooooo rock, having a Vai on our team. I have yet to meet Mrs. Vai, maybe next time. I hear from everyone that she is as sweet as Steve is.
Steve has a great sense of humor. Somehow we got to talking about my sex column and I told him about the time a woman wrote in asking for advice about how to hide her farts on long weekends at home with her man. Steve said "Farts are like God's joke on us". He fucking cracks me up. I ordered a fart machine and had it shipped to my pal Christin's house, who will see him up in Boston in a few days… she will give it to him for me. I can't wait to hear how he reacts.
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Steve trying the Bite Method on me ^ ?
His famous guitars ^
During the show, as I said before, Steve introduced the band and directly after, he said "Special thanks to my friend Dr. Dot for coming out tonight to make us feel good, give a hand to Dr. Dot everybody" and he pointed at me on the side of the stage (I was next to the sound/monitor man Roger). Oh my God, I was NOT expecting that and blushed ten shades of red.
Steve is by far my favorite client, there is no other artist that sweet. He is the absolute fucking bomb and that show last night was brilliant. It was PERFECT.
After the show I was soooooooooooo hungry, it has been 10 days since I've had a real meal and I couldn't take it anymore and nibbled on a tiny piece of pizza; chewed it REALLY good and got it down. That tasted so good I ate the whole thing. It took me about 30 minutes to chew it all, but I got it down and man it felt good. SO it looks like I am pretty much healed now. I still have a sore throat but I am on the road to recovery 🙂
Steve Vai leftovers ^ 🙂
We were talking about my Tonsillectomy and he told me about his when he was 6 years old. He said the first thing he asked for when he woke up was Potato Chips. He said his Mom called the Doctor and said "Doc, he wants Potato chips!!" and the Doc replied "Aaaah, then give him Potato chips"
LMFAO!!!!!!!! So he got Potato chips. This is one tough cookie.
Steve noticed I was finally eating and offered me his left over pasta which Paul, the cook whipped up especially for him. Whole wheat Ziti Pasta with bits of Tofu and red & green peppers and zucchini coated in a Balsamic Vinegar sauce. I am in fact eating Steve Vai's left overs as I type this and man are they yummy. Heh heh. He ate most of the Tofu though..dam him! heh heh
x
< random video bits ( Video leftovers)
Steve Vai tonight :)
So it's day 10 after my tonsillectomy and I finally got 7 hours of solid sleep. I needed it bad. My throat and ears still hurt the most when I lie down, but when I am awake, just my throat hurts. I am soothing it with honey dew melon, luke warm water and cold soups.
I simply can not pass up the invite to go see Steve Vai tonight in concert. He emailed me personally and so I am going there in a few hours. I won't be doing much talking as it hurts to talk but I will be all ears for the Guitar God. It is GORGEOUS today in NYC. It rained last night, hard core, so today it's crisp, clear yet sunny like the perfect fall day. Slight breeze makes it even better. I will go for a tiny walk, as I am feeling as soft as warm jello. This pisses me off as I love to stay in shape and now it will take a while until I am firm and fruity again I suppose. 
But I am hoping all this HELL was worth it, as my tonsils were keeping me ill for over 2 years. I can't count the times I was on antibiotics and I always felt tired and had a sore throat. I am counting on feeling much better now that my infected tonsils have been junked.
Anyhow, back by popular demand, more puppy pictures from friends of mine in the UK, a family I hold very very dear to me.
Enjoy
x
Recent pictures of NYC, Weehawken and Hoboken, NJ
Ok, 8 days after surgery and I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I can only sleep for 4 hours max, then due to ear aches & dry throat from the surgery, I wake and can't fall back sleep, but I have been getting a lot done nevertheless. Look at all the blogs I have been writing 
Some of these pictures are a few weeks old. The one above, from left to right, is of Tom, Jeremiah & my uncle Jack (my late Mother's younger brother). They are obviously flaming gay and call themselves the "Sears of Gay" since they are from the 'burbs of CT. They have been together for 19 years (maybe even 20 by now) and are legally married. Now they have reached the pot of gold at the end of every gay rainbow and have adopted a baby. He is cute as hell and actually a blood relative.
My cousin Crystal, who's Mother Irene is my late Mother's younger sister is her mother. Anyways, Crystal already has 2 healthy children and decided to make their dream come true and allow my Uncle and his husband adopt her baby; they were even there to cut the cord. I suggested they call Ophra, but then again, in conservative CT, it may be unwise to cause a fuss.
Jeremiah gets all the love he needs and Tom is the dotting "Mom" so to speak and can barely wait to get home from work to show his son loads of love and attention. They are great parents. Funny thing is, when we all go out to eat, I catch myself putting lipstick on at the dinner table, you know, after eating and looking in my pocket mirror for food between my teeth, self absorbed behavior and I look around and see people watching me and imagine they must be thing "what an ignorant Mother! She has barely given that kid any attention all meal, the poor men have to do all the work!". Then I have to giggle and think , if they ONLY knew the situation.
It's also funny walking around with them as people stop and want to say "the baby looks just like…..you?" ha ha. What a gas.
Obviously Jeremiah is inspired by my many "foot on tour" pictures and has pulled a copy cat move here in Hoboken ^
The view from Weehawken is also breath taking. I was thinking, Jeremiah is gonna have to grow a thick skin. He is half black, has white parents, who are both male and gay and his name isn't exactly the kind that blends in. I hope he takes karate lessons before he hits the 4th grade. The part of CT they live in is predominately white and conservative like I said. Oh well, it is his destiny to open minds; to rock the boat 
So I am sitting here sipping pure cranberry juice and listening to the Who's Quadrophenia. I was inspired to hear more Who by my friend Justin Kreutzmann. His father is the son of the Grateful Dead drummer, Bill. Justin is a film director and just sent me a dvd he directed for the Who called 'Fragments; fan club dvd'. It is amazing.
Justin said he would someday direct my "how to give a massage" dvd that I have been dreaming of making for years now. That would rock if it happened. I wonder if I could convince Sting to keep his word and be in my dvd. Or I could ask Simon Cowell, I bet he would do it 🙂
Justin works full time for Pete Townshend, filming and doing whatever.. great job to have, or?
Aaah, Jonesy . It was SO GREAT to hang with Jonesy again. He is one of my favorite people on earth. Talent oozes out of every pore of his. He is a singer and stand up comedian. He was singing "I keep forgetting we're not in love anymore" by Michael McDonald when I took this shot. He sounded EXACTLY like the original. Jonesy can morph into anyone he sings. He can do Aretha Franklin and sound just like her, seriously. When I first met him, I walked into a karaoke bar and heard "Misses, misses Jones" (you know that great song?) and wondered which black dude must be on the mic. I came further into the bar and it was a short blonde guy from Boston. That was about 3 or 4 years ago and we have been best buddies ever since. I can NOT understand why he isn't famous yet. He is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay funnier than Dane Cook. I predict he will be the next Jim Carey. Mark my words.
Brooke is a karoake DJ at Iggy's in NYC. She is 24 and an Opera singer so I have no idea what such a gorgeous girl is doing hosting karaoke. I love going there on Monday nights as you can sing ANYTHING as it's not so crowded. Jonesy, Danny and I were whipping out such crazy tunes. I sang Rocky Raccoon, Happiness is a warm gun and Back in the Saddle again (none of which I ever tried before). Those were the days, when I could go sing karaoke 🙁 I wonder how long I have to wait to (1) sing karaoke (2) give head after this tonsil surgery. I really wonder.
Danny and I ventured out to sing with the "Super Karaoke Fun Time Band" in Jersey City.
They were supposed to start at 10pm and only play until Midnight so I was rather annoyed that they played 20 minutes of them jamming (mainly cool Stones tunes). I mean, us karaoke whores were DYING to grab the mic and sing with the live band so it was torture just listening to them heh heh. If I want to go see a live band, I will go see Steve Vai ok? I went there because the bar was hosting Live Karaoke.
After 20 minutes of them jamming (which I figured out was them just pulling off a sound check while on the clock) Danny and I got to sing some songs. I sang Back in Black, Dirty Deeds and Helter Skelter. Danny sang I touch myself and YMCA, which he did NOT sign up for; I signed him up secretly and he was not amused, but still pulled it off well. Singing with a live band is waaaaay better than normal karaoke. I filmed Danny and he filmed me, but it was too dark in the tiny shit hole, so I had to scrap the material, sadly.
Fet once again, made our photo shoot fantasy come true by photo-shopping Danny ^
Even shopping with Danny is fun. I am such a fag hag.
I was walking down Washington street in Hoboken the other day and thought to myself, these ^ guys look so old school Hoboken (home of Frank Sinatra and supposedly the birth place of Baseball (but I can imagine Romans playing stick ball WAAAY before America was even discovered)
Typical scene on a week end night in Hoboken outside the Path train station, girls waiting for a taxi ride home..
sweet. I LOVE Hoboken.
x
ps. Steve Vai emailed me today and asked me for my home address. Wonder if he is sending me a get well soon present? I will definitely drag my ass to his show on the 28th (tomorrow). I can't miss it! I will just have to keep my mouth shut backstage and not say too much, as it hurts to talk.. it's a big challenge for me (being quiet 🙂
Preparing for a Tonsillectomy
Day 8 after surgery and it still feels like I gargled razor blades and drank lemon juice and tobasco sauce directly after. Catherine went home 3 days ago, then I had Danny (anal ring toss) stay with me for 2 days in case I needed help. Danny and I raise too much hell; we laugh too much, so I asked him to leave me alone to suffer again. Which make me think of a list of things to warn people who are preparing to get a tonsillectomy. A check list for them; things I have learned that could maybe make things easier for someone else.
1) Go shopping before and get baby food but NOT applesauce, as it has citric acid and burns like hell. Plums went down the best. Get soft bread, chicken soup and baby wipes. Baby wipes are helpful the first week as we are not supposed to shower, so they are good for wiping the offensive areas. Get vitamin water (I am guessing they only have those in the USA) and "Power-c" is the best one as the others have too much citric acid. You need to drink more than just water to keep up your electrolytes. Get a min chalk board or scetch pad to write on so you don't have to speak the first few days at ALL. But some Cloreseptic Throat Spray as it's s good to numb the pain, but only after like 5 days, as the first few days it's too sensitive for such a spray. Get anti-nausea tablets ahead of time, as your Doctor could be a slacker like mine and not write you a prescription. These pills help when you can't eat but need pain pills. Trust me.
2) Avoid ice cream that is dairy based the first 3 days as it clings to the wounds and makes a mucus and it's already difficult to sleep as it is. Pear sorbet is good as the others (strawberry or orange ) burn like HELL.
3) Tell everyone you know that you are having the operation and ask them NOT to call you for a week as speaking hurts. The dumbest thing in the world is CALLING a tonsillectomy patient after their operation. They can't speak as it hurts like HELL!!!!!!!!!! Have people text your or email you and get back to them when and if you feel like it.
4) Find a serious friend to look after you, post OP. We all have goofy friends and serious friends. Choose the serious one to look after you as they will understand that laughing and talking is not an option and will have their head on straight and hopefully be dependable for you, like Catherine was for me.
5) After a few days, gut a piece of bread (discard crust to the birdies) and zap some chicken soup broth (mushed carrots that come in chicken soup are great too) in the microwave for 20 seconds and take it out and tear up the soft bread and let it absorb the soup. Once it is completely cooled, slowly chew it and swallow. This was the best meal I had so far since this whole thing started. It is hard to slowly chew as I am so fucking hungry my body wants to wolf it down, sigh. That reminds me, I lost 10 pounds already but am starting to feel soft in the middle, like my Pooh bear. I can't work out so I'm getting soft. ugh! Which brings me to number 6..
6) Work out as much as possible before the operation as you can't exercise for WEEKS after. Eat really healthy (well, always anyways) the last few days before the OP as you won't be eating well for ages.
7) Gargle with salt water every couple of hours after the surgery to help my throat heal faster, and it seemed to work real well. Just take plain old table salt, preferably the iodiized kind, mix it with warm water, and gargle with it for at least a minute every couple of hours, or as often as you possibly can. It tastes like shit, but it really does help your throat heal up faster. And be sure to drink as much water as you possibly can so that you keep yourself hydrated
8) Those Slim Fast shakes or any protein shake that you like help after a few days, as they keep you loaded with vitamins and liquid and taste great. Like drinking a meal.
9)Shower right before you check into the Hospital. You won't be able to wash for a few days.
10) Honey dew and Cantaloupe melons seem to go down just fine (at day 7). I am sure they would go down earlier too. It is hard to get enough vitamin C during this whole ordeal, so this is the fruit I found to be the easiest to eat
Well, that's all for now, but when/if I think of something else, I will slide it on in here asap.
x
< Schwing!