Round 159 of Ask Dr. Dot. Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…
Q. My guy keeps bugging me for anal sex. I have heard from ALL of my friends that it hurts and it’s unpleasant. He practically begs me, says “If you love me you’ll allow it at least once”. I do love him but his dick is already too big for my vagina. I need help, fast. Exit Only Alice
A. Men always think we LOVE having a hard cock rammed up our poop shoot because they see porn stars begging for it in their “movies”. Fact is, it hurts; especially if the man is well hung. His begging for your tighter hole is similar to you begging for him to have a wider cock. If you let him try it once, he is bound to love your tight ass and will be gagging for it all the time. If you’re against it, don’t open Pandora’s Box or it will be a major pain in the ass.
Q. I've been dating this girl for almost 7 months. Most of her guy friends are guys that she has slept with in the past. She says that she has only been with a few guys like 8 or something but she still hangs out with half of them. Like going out to lunch and sometimes dinner. Always exclusively and never with her friends while I'm at work. Is this good girlfriend behavior? She says they are all just her friends and I believe her but it makes me uncomfortable…I don't hang out with anybody that I slept with in the past except one of my ex girlfriends who I dated and calls my girlfriend more than she calls me so that’s a lot different. Anyway one guy that she went to lunch with a week ago and also slept with in the past. Sent her a text message at like 10 or 11 at night asking her to hang out. She said she was watching a movie with me but then he replied that he would try harder when she was single. That really upset me and she was really upset when I brought it up she said that he was drunk and isn't like that normally. She didn't reply to the text message after he said that. She also talks to her ex boyfriend of 4 years a lot. Sending myspace comments back and forth and texting. He even brought her over a gift last week. She's pregnant.. with my baby. It's important to that I work these things out with her. What am I supposed to do here? Is it wrong for me to tell her that she needs to cease relationships with past flings? How do I tell her that? Nervously Neil
A. Ok, she has all the power now. So you can not tell her what to do, or even suggest it at this point. Do NOT mention them again! Once the baby is born, she won't have any extra time for these clingy fools. Just concentrate on her and put the blinders on to the Ex boyfriends. They are her ex's; you are her guy and father to the baby. You need to be more mature (I know they are aggravating and irritating but do not let them win). Offer her foot rubs, lower back rubs and just be fun to be with. She will want to be with you rather than them. Like I said, when the baby comes, those wankers will just blend into the Past; they will be history as her baby and you will keep her more than busy and hopefully, content.
Q. I am only 19 but I am sexually active even though I am a tad shy. I have noticed that the few men I have slept with all want to “69”. I go with the flow, but to be honest I don’t like it. Why are men so hooked on this? I find it embarrassing to have someone be face to face with my ass hole. What if they think it’s ugly? What are they THINKING when they are that close? Firm & Fruity Fiona A. Why are they hooked on it? Exactly the same reason you hate it.They love the close up view of your twat and chocolate star fish in their face. Don’t worry about them criticizing your crack, as I am sure they look upon it adoringly. I hate it for a different reason: it’s unpractical. How can one enjoy receiving great oral when they have to concentrate on giving great oral? What a stupid fucking concept. I am positive the 69 position was invented by some horny, unpractical, caveman. Another downside; there is always that chance your man was in a hurry the last time he wiped his ass. Sniff.
My column, "Ask Dr. Dot" can also be seen weekly at:
This ^ video took AGES to make. Still getting the hang of the ol’ Windows Movie Maker thingy
You could eat off the ground it’s so clean ^
I mentioned before (a few blogs ago) that I was heading to Monte Carlo. I finally found some time to make the blog.Kai Ebelthe famous German moderator suggested that RTL fly me down to Monte Carlo to massage a few of the Formula One drivers for a Travel Show he does. Once a year he does a huge special called “Formel Exclusiv” (it aired May 13th 2007 ).
Feeling grateful is an understatement. Ralf, the producer and the whole film crew were a blast to work with. Even Nico Rossberg, who was told by his Finnish manager not to remove his shirt for the shoot, was a great sport. He said “oh why not!” and ripped his shirt off. All of the girls who saw us filming and who saw it on TV were pleased with that decision.
Picture perfect, blah blah blah.
I heard the Royal family (Prince Albert and Princess Caroline etc) all live on the top of that giant hill/mountain ^
All in all I had a great time and I want to thank RTL for treating me so fine. I even got to stay an extra night and explore the place on my own. I visited the only Irish Pub there (I swear there are Irish Pubs everywhere) and I ate at a Mexican place instead of dining on Frog Legs like everyone else. I am now back in Berlin, enjoying Jasmine’s company and the hot weather. Susan Sarandon is filming SPEED RACER in Berlin and the management has my cards now so I am hoping I get to massage her. I have been a fan since the first time I saw the Rocky Horror Picture show ( I played Janet in a live production of it- you know when actors act it out while the film is playing at the same time) so I am really into her. Cross yer fingers for me will ya?
Heading back to NYC next month, gotta get my tonsils out finally. Sigh. Not looking forward to that. I won’t miss any time with Jasmine as I won’t leave until she leaves on her journey (going on a massive road trip with her friends in a VW bus). Cross fingers for her too while yer at it 🙂
Working on the London blog next. I need an ass massage from all this computer work 🙁
I just want to comment on all the Paris Bashing that’s been outshining the important news lately. I have met her, massaged her, hung out with her and I can confirm she is a darling. She is generous, sweet, polite and has a great sense of humor. It is so easy to judge people you haven’t met. So easy to bash celebrities for fun. I think the LA cops take things way to far when it comes to the stars. It’s almost as if they are so fucking bored and frustrated with their own mundane, crappy job that as soon as they get a chance to pull over a star, they use it as a claim to fame to throw the book at them ten fold. Mel Gibson was crucified and I still don’t believe he said those ignorant slurs. The cop knew what he was doing making that shit up. Same with Paris. If you know LA, you know that you HAVE to drive to get around and sure, Paris could afford a driver, but I know she likes to live as normal as possible; going out without body guards or a driver. She had a couple drinks, not many and she has to go to JAIL for 45 days now?
That German criminal who jumped me in January is still walking around free, never spent even an hour in court or jail, but the masses want Paris tarred and feathered for driving after a few drinks. I don’t even believe it was much. I know in the states the cops follow you around once you leave the parking lot of a bar/club and make you so nervous cause they are tailing you, that you end up doing something dumb like using the wrong blinker or something and then they jump on you. Give the girl a break, she is a sweet heart, really. She can’t change the fact that she was born into the lifestyle her parents had before she was even conceived. sigh. Everyone can get sympathy, but envy must be earned. Mitleid kriegt jeder, aber Neid muss man verdienen. Amen.
Q. For a year I have been seeing someone I have many things in common with, except I don't smoke pot or do prescription drugs for pain and anxiety. He always made me feel beautiful, respected and pursued. He always made the calls and arranged the dates. But, he has made it clear to me he doesn't like to be confronted or be the target of expressed anger. Once Saturday night we went out with his sister and her boyfriend to a music rave. He took a walk with the boyfriend and left me with his sister. When the boyfriend returned 15 minutes later he was alone. My boyfriend stayed in another part of the hotel watching some girl band singing and dancing by himself. He stayed away almost an hour and I found him just because I was looking for something to do. His sister had to set up her own band. He came over to me buy I was livid. When he realized I was angry he froze me out of the conversation later when the 4 of us ordered drinks at the bar. I was hurt and angry the rest of the night. When our date was over he was annoyed at my anger. He didn't call me for 2 weeks. Then we exchanged a few emails, he called Easter and on my birthday. I couldn't see him the day he invited me to celebrate my birthday over a week ago, and I haven't heard from him since. Should I let him go? I rarely confront him, but I can't never get angry. Fed Up Franny A. As nice as he may be, this ganja smoking Peter Pan is lost in his own little never-never land. He can’t behave anyway he wants and forbid any backlash. He is probably the youngest child or a spoiled only child who always got his way. I would ignore him and move on unless you want to walk on eggshells your whole life long (exhausting!). If you really can’t live without this sensitive control freak, let him do all the work, all of the contacting and planning. Trying to turn a pot head/pill popper into a caring, thoughtful partner is an uphill battle. He sounds about as useful as a cat flap in an elephant house.
Q. Why does it burn when my boyfriend cums in me? Burning Bush Kate
A. Think back. Did all of your other lover’s spunk burn you? If you have both been tested for STD’s and came out clean, this could be mother natures way of saying "this guy is not the right one for you". Smell and the way one makes you feel can really say a lot about a lover. “Love” should feel great, not painful and like someone used a flame thrower on your snatch.
Q. My girlfriend only wants to screw after lunch. In the morning I wake up and am ready for a shag before breakfast; while she's still a zombie. At night she's "too tired". Only after lunch does she suddenly get really fucking horny but I'm usually at work! Any tricks to turning her on in the early hours? Morning Muffin Man
A. Try to take a lunch break when she calls and is horny, run home, shag her, then go back to work with a shit eating grin on your face. Saying 'no' to a hungry pussy is just wrong. About her being "tired" at night, tell her "just let me do all the work honey, just lay there and let me fuck you". Those words usually work like "open sesame".
Q. Is it gay for a guy to pee sitting down? Lazy Luke A. Having dated a few European men, I can tell you, it’s rather popular over there. Maybe their wives have more effective ways of threatening them if they leave the seat up. But then again, peeing while sitting down enables you to: – Make sure you get all your piss in the bowl – Takes the weight off your feet – Requires less concentration – Getting your face ripped off by females for leaving the seat up doesn’t happen – Gives you the option of an unplanned dump, should the need arise. What's not to love? Why let a position define your sexuality? I say go for it, no one is supposed to see you do your business anyways. The only disadvantage is trying to stuff your morning stiffy down into the bowl.
Q.
My wife, god bless her, is 56 and still has her regular periods. When will it be safe to stop fucking her with a rubber? Rubber Hell
A. You should be happy and proud that you married such a healthy, ripe woman that still ovulates at age 56. This means she can still get pregnant, but from the sounds of things, you two have thrown in the procreating towel. If so, why not get snipped? Or she could have her tubes cut and tied. You could also have her start taking birth control pills OR use the 'Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor’ available at would need protection during her "dangerous Wal-Mart, CVS. etc (In Europe it's called "Persona" and you can get it in any Chemist) She would just keep close tabs with this gadget, finding out when she is most fertile. I am surprised you two haven't tried such things yet as one of the best parts about being married is being able to ditch the condoms for more pleasurable forms of birth control, like the pill or IUD, Diaphragm, the ring or this monitoring system I just mentioned. I hope you will be riding bareback again soon.
Q. I am in a difficult relationship, well not difficult but a confusing one. At first we were friends, mostly via the internet, and then when I moved closer to him, we started to see each other a lot more; we have been seeing each other (fucking) for the past 3 months. I know that he likes me and he tells me so, he tells me that if I was closer to him I would be his girl or he would be seeing me everyday; however when he returns home it’s a different story. He only will communicate via IM or myspace and speaking of that I’m last on his list. Sometimes I feel that he just doesn't want to be bothered…and considering we are friends; I will say, hey? do you need some time alone? (instead of making me sit in front of the damn pc while he is busy chatting with other ppl)..he just says, don’t be silly but then…I end up sitting and waiting.
I have confronted him in a nice way of course and asked where do I stand with him? His response was that, he is confused and unsure what he wants at the moment. I asked him if he is keeping his options open? His response is NO. He also states that, he wouldn't like it if I was with someone else…because he wouldn’t be with someone else. This is just confusing again!
This is hard for me because I am so in love with him and when he is here I know he is mine it’s when he is gone that I feel lost and confused and hopeless. I don’t want to loose our friendship but I just don’t know where I stand with him or what he wants but then again, neither does he. Blinded by Love-Layla
A. My advice, start seeing other people as it sounds to me like he has another, even if he says he doesn't. It’s been said “women can fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships”. If he was that into you, he would be begging you to move closer, to let him move near you, or to at least see you more often. He would call, rather than chat with you like an online buddy.
When a man is in love and hell bent on making sure the girl is HIS, they don't behave like the wanker you are describing. Sorry but I don’t sugar coat. He is taking advantage of you; open your eyes and realize you are just his fuck buddy and nothing more. Get gorgeous, get busy and stop "waiting" around for that indecisive fuck face.
Q. Hello Dr. Dot. I read the New York Press every Wednesday, and your column is the first page I turn to. Honest. I have a quick clean question. I am a single, never married 45 year old Hispanic male, well educated (2 degrees), not bad looking I am told, good shape (like to work out) etc.etc. but I cannot find a date. You have heard it before I am sure. I am thinking of taking dance classes to possibly meet interesting women. Good idea or bad idea. What kind of dancing should I learn. I have no experience at all with any type of dancing. How should I approach this decision? Thank You very, very much Dr. Dot. Pimpin’ Pedro
A. Dance classes, along with cooking and yoga classes are excellent places to pull. Salsa lessons would ensure you meet lots of ladies who either already have a fiery rhythm, or want one. Such classes are usually predominantly female and you would end up a popular dance partner. It's tough finding love in a big city but as a single male, the odds are on your side (lots of gays mean, lots of single ladies). Make sure your breath is ALWAYS fresh and buy a fresh scent: 'Angle Men' (A-men) from Thierry Mugler or Fahrenheit from Christian Dior, these scents make women weak in the knees.
Q. I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months, and things have been great, but are moving into a beyond the 'surface' stage of our relationship.I haven't had something like this in awhile and he was very romantic and generous with his word up until recently. He isn’t seeing someone else and he contacts me regularly but the sweetness has faded a little. He’s very stressed at work and the last time I saw him he looked tired and admitted that he takes on too much and then feels overwhelmed. I freaked a little when he said he has to find balance. I took it personally because when I had heard that before, it meant that they were disappearing,and that perhaps I had done something to change their mind. In my heart, I know he really cares about me, but I am afraid. He’s invited me to go with his family for dinner next week, but that urgency to see me has faded and he’s really putting himself first these past days.I understand that, but I still get fearful that my romantic guy won't come back. I apologized for the mini-freak out and explained to him my fears. He was all ears and philosophical about it. I just wish I could relax and not worry so much. Any thoughts? Fearful Freda
A. You need to chill. Men can smell insecurity, fear and doubt like a dog can smell another dogs ass miles away. It’s natural for things to calm after a few months. The only way to keep things really spicy is to only see each other once a week, but then you can never really get closer. You’re hooked on that romantic high; that addictive butterfly effect a fresh love has on everyone, but love never stays that intoxicating. Eventually romance turns into a familiarity; there is no way of avoiding it. We would all like our lover to be mad about us, to imagine they only think of us when they wank, but it's just bullshit; that only exists in romance flicks. You shouldn’t have freaked out. Less words and tantrums; more confidence and calm will prevent them from disappearing. Men need space, patients and above all, less drama. Realize that you are worth hanging around for and try to feel so happy in your own shell, that even if you were alone, you would be fine. Men can sense that and feel free. Just like being in a room alone with a cat, if you close the door, the cat wants OUT now. If you leave the door a bit open, he will want to sit on your lap and pine for your attention.
Q. I cheated on my bf while I was on holiday and he found out. I don’t know why I did it. My man has been exceptionally good to me. When I was exposed he just called me a slut and walked off. The next day he came round and demanded to know the details, saying he could not make up his mind about me till he knew everything. I could not say anything because I was crying so much I couldn’t talk. He is glad I admitted to it. Should I tell him all about how it happened? How can I get him to stay with me? I need him in my life. How long will it take for us to work this over? Should I buy him a present or something similar……right now he will not even kiss me. Beaver Deceiver
A. For some reason Men love to know the exact details when they catch their woman cheating (seen the movie "CLOSER" yet?). It's best not to give him the details, as if he does forgive you, which it sounds like he will (if he was really done with you, you wouldn't have heard back from him) then he will always have that scene running through his mind".
Just write him an email or text and tell him you were drunk, missed him and that you regret it with every bone in your body; you are SORRY. That's all you can do. Giving him a gift or apologizing too much just makes you look even guiltier. You didn't LOVE this guy you fucked around with; it was just a physical thing, so it shouldn't get blown out of proportion. It's not like you were seeing him for months and fell in love, it was just a tryst. Men understand as they can usually separate love and lust. Tell him going into details is difficult as you were so drunk and you don't even want to relive such a mistake. Assure him it won't happen again and sit back, be patient and give him some space to think. Let HIM make the first move! Otherwise you will appear desperate and it will remind him that you are feeling guilty; not good. Ease your mind by knowing life will go on & what's meant to be will be.
Q. For the last year and a half I've been in a relationship with one of the most gorgeous girls I've met inside and outside I think I am in love with her but there's one issue (actually multiple issues). I am 23 and she is only 20. I am very independent, have my own place, work somewhere in Wall Street and graduated from college almost 3 years ago. I come from a very poor and humble family and feel that I have already accomplished a lot. My girlfriend on the other hand is 20 and still in school, her parents pay for her car, give her money every week, and pay for everything. Now the big one: She has a curfew! she has to be home at 10 every night, which would be ok with me if I was in high school but all of a sudden I cant handle it. Also please note that even though she is young she makes good money in her part time job (at least more than $20 an hour) I tried very hard to make this work but after a year I feel like I should go out there and meet people that are on the same stage as me…The icing on the cake is that her family is Jewish and I am not so they do not approve of me so there's no way I can convince them to leave the situation. Even though I love her lately…I've just been thinking really about where this all going…and at the end of the day I am just not happy…what’s your take on this? Master Baiter
A. Just because you love one, doesn't mean you have to hate the rest. You are 20-fucking-3. Your life has just begun. You will meet many people in your life and if you try and settle down now, it probably won't last, especially with so many odds against you. I sense a bit of resentment from you towards your younger, sheltered/spoiled 20 year old Jewish Princess. Her family will not bend unless you concert and even so, if they are so anal as to put a curfew on a 20 year old, why would you want to be part of that family? Imagine how strict they would be if you had kids with her? You obviously year to meet others so do it. Leaving her would be easy, just blame it on her family not accepting you and her curfew. Tell her you want to be friends but want to be single. You are a young and ambitious man in a big city, in other words, it's raining pussy.
Q. I recently moved to a new town and had my tits made bigger (new town; new jugs) and I love them. But every time I go out, people, mostly men, ask me “are those real?” and they are not even huge. This really pisses me off.. I don’t know how to respond without looking like a liar or coward. Some even ask about my breasts before they ask my name or if I want a drink. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Breasty Beauty
A. A few ideas off hand: (1) If you weren’t so ignorant, you may have found out yourself (2) Does it really fucking matter? Or if you have a sense of humor (3) No, I just bought them on Ebay, aren’t they fucking bodacious?
Q.
Me and my girlfriend get along well; we have the occasional small fight but nowadays, Sex has gotten outta hand, it just seems I can’t cum any more. Me and my girlfriend have tried almost every position, including foreplay. We try crazy things like her dressing up or fulfilling fantasies, but she just can’t handle it, we go at it, and then she cums, and im stuck in a not so sticky situation. She does kegel exercises and is indeed nicely fitted to my penis, however she says my penis is too long, and there are times when I can feel my cock hit a dead end so to say. Sometimes causing her a rush of excitement, others causing pain. Any ideas on what to do? Long Dong Silver
A. Too long does hurt our delicate love cave, but avoiding the doggy style position could help avoid extreme pain. Let her be on top, so she can control the pressure, or when you are on top, be gentle. Perhaps take a break from all of the bells and whistles and just have her blow you for a good hour. That should make you cum. Tell her not to forget your balls or your taint (tain't your ass, and it tain't your balls). Never met a man who can't cum from great oral.
Today on MTV total request live (TRL) around 3:30 pm, see Adam Levine do his thing. Great guy!
I massaged him again last night here in NYC, then went out for some karaoke. Karaoke in NYC rules. I am having so much fun here, I hate to leave. I will return to Berlin in a few days to see my cutie pie, Jasmine. I have a massive blog, well, two massive blogs to write. I still haven't done my Monte Carlo and London blog. OMG, I will never get these done 🙁
I am pretty sure that I will be living back in NYC again by the Fall. I will still keep my flat in Berlin, but being back in the US with friends, family and loved ones is so nice. Just walking down the street is fun, everyone smiles, they are enjoying life, having fun, being friendly; it's so refreshing, I miss that! I will still have to visit Europe often, as I love it too. Wish I could split myself in two and live both places at the same time. I will be back again in NYC for just about the whole month of August, as I have to get my tonsils removed. Not looking forward to that. Hope it doesn't change my singing voice. I don't want to be a soprano or so. I need my AC/DC voice! 😀
x
Dr. Dot
"We can never know about the days to come But we think about them anyway, yay And I wonder if I'm really with you now Or just chasin' after some finer day
Anticipation, anticipation Is makin' me late Is keepin' me waitin'
And I tell you how easy it feels to be with you And how right your arms feel around me But I, I rehearsed those lines just late last night When I was thinkin' about how right tonight might be
Anticipation, anticipation Is makin' me late Is keepin' me waitin'
And tomorrow we might not be together I'm no prophet and I don't know nature's ways So I'll try and see into your eyes right now And stay right here 'cause these are the good old days
(These are the good old days) And stay right here 'cause these are the good old day"
Fewer than 5,000 tigers remain in the wild. In the last 50 years alone, three sub-species of tigers have gone extinct in Asia.
China banned the domestic trade in tiger parts in 1993. But in an attempt to reopen this trade, large scale tiger farms in China are breeding tigers at a frightening rate to produce tiger products for commercial trade such as tiger bone wine, misleadingly promoted as traditional medicine.
Ask China to keep its tiger trade ban in place. Your views will be personally conveyed to China's leaders.
My friend Lisa , who I first met when I was 16 in Rockville, Connecticut, finally left the USA and came to visit me here in Berlin. It was her first time in Europe and we went nuts taking pictures. She took too many for me to post here, but here are a few.
/
Can you believe these posers charged her 2 Euros for this shot? Capitalists.
< I just bought this stuff and Lisa was the first to try it. Better her than me.
We HAD to visit the local Harley shop so Lisa could stock up on Harley t-shirts, etc, for the folks back in Vernon.
I brought Lisa to White Trash, we felt at home there. heh heh. ^
A somber place ^
Pascal, one of the only bikers I know in Berlin, having a brew with Lisa at the Hard Rock Cafe ^
He BARELY speaks English, so they had the biggest communication problem I've ever witnessed. It actually gave me a flaming head ache listening to them "talk". DOH!
The relentless and verbally abusive DJ ^ at Cafe Klo (he will rip you a new asshole)
Lisa at Cafe Klo (Klo is a nick name for Toilet in German). Those silly Germans & their toilet humor. Everyone there drinks out of Urinals; you know those tiny ones you pee in when you're stuck in bed at the Hospital?
Lisa, the man magnet, had fun letting the local guys try on her new Harley Jacket. Schwing.
< Lisa took this great shot of the "Siegessäule" which means "Victory Statue". The French gave it to the Germans as a present. Whatever.
Lisa in wonderland ^
Our pal Roar showed Lisa around to things that I probably wouldn't have, like the Olympia Stadium. Nice shot.
WTF? ^ Makeup your fucking mind. Are you a Zebra, Ant eater, Horse, deer, Hyena, Giraffe?….. Look at the cute Meerkat. I lingered here the longest, as I am a big fan of their show "Meerkat Manor ", they have their own reality- show! CUTE!
I am torn. I love to see Lions, but when I see them like this, behind bars, my heart aches 🙁
< Knut with his caretaker
Lisa arrived during the Knut "mania". This little polar bear was abandoned by his mother and they Berliner Zoo was going to put him to sleep. So many people protested, they decided to let him live. When Shai, Lisa and I arrived at the Zoo at 3:45 pm, they told us, "Too late, no more Knut today" and we almost threw ourselves on the ground and had a temper tantrum. They didn't have that info on their web site (that you can only see Knut from 11am to noon and then again from 2pm to 3pm). We went in anyways (it cost about $20 to get in) and we had a lovely day anyways, so there.
Dj Big Bear . Our favorite Karaoke DJ in Berlin ^ He has NO attitude, No ego, doesn't hog the mic or sing unwanted back up and he has the biggest song selection around. LOVE HIM!
Lisa, after 6, yes SIX double shots of Jaegermeister and a few beers, me and Shai. Lisa is made of steel.
Lisa's karaoke set list: "wanted dead or alive", "I've got friends in low places" and "Born to be wild". Nuff said.
'' < HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
< Steph doesn't remember posing for this pic.
^ Those bikes are ALL over Berlin. You call the number on the bike, give the operator your credit card info, and they unlock it over the phone. You get charged per kilometer. Strange, but practical.
< it's love
Lisa made it home safe and immediately fell into the arms of her new Harley ($25,000 worth)
I am heading to NYC on Monday, yes! I LOVE NEW YORK
RTL, one of Germany's most popular TV stations, flew me to Monte Carlo to film one of their Lifestyle TV shows which will air this coming Sunday on RTL of course (around 4pm they said). The host is Kai Ebel who is very well known in Germany for his work with Formula 1 race car drivers and boxing events as well. He is a moderator for all things sports basically. The production team treated me like a queen and I had a blast exploring the unreal world called Monte Carlo (a sunny place for shady millionaires).
My foot, on vacation, letting it all hang out ^
^ I know it looks like I scanned in a post card, but I really took this pic with my Sony cyber-shot camera. It's really pretty here.
*Everyone there in Monte Carlo is getting ready for the Grand Prix races, so some of the drivers need massage..
They filmed me massaging Kai and Nico Rossberg, a 21 year old Formula 1 race car driver. He was born in Germany but raised in Monte Carlo. His father is a famous race car driver too. Nico is VERY famous in Monte Carlo and apparently we were lucky to get him in front of the cameras for a massage/interview. I will just post a couple pics now and finish this blog when I catch my breath ( I am still traveling at the moment and hate using this lap top).
Here I am massaging Nico on a gorgeous yacht. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it ^
I have SO many pics and videos to post, I will have a flat ass by the time I am done blogging. I still have Berlin pics of Shai, Steph and I, then Lisa's trip (her first time ever in Europe) and then Monte Carlo and a few other surprises.. sigh. I am off to NYC soon too, so I have to get busy before I forget all the great things I have seen/experienced.
Loads to tell you, but I am exhausted..stay tuned
ps. Even though Monte Carlo is it's own country, stuck in between France and Italy, everyone there speaks French, considers themselves French, and acts French, so Frank Zappa's tune 'In France' is in my mind 24/7:
"The girls is all salty The boys is all sweet The food ain't too shabby, An' they piss in the street In France Way down in France Way on down Way on down In France
They got diseases Like you never seen Got a mystery blow-job Turn your penis green In France Way down in France Way on down Way on down In France
They got some coffee, Eatin' right through the cup, An' when they go ka-ka They make you stand up In France Way down in France Way on down Way on down In France
If you're not careful, It'll stick to your cheeks You'll smell like a native For a couple of weeks In France Way down in France Way on down Way on down In France
We cannot wait Till we go back It gets so exciting When the poodles 'react' In France Way down in France Way on down Way on down In France
Tonight, Saturday night, I was walking down the street at around 10:15 pm with my friend who I call Prince Harry. We had just bought some chocolate from the gas station, and were heading down the same street that the German man attacked me on January 26th
Anyhow I was JUST saying to Price Harry that this was the same area that fucker lives, (he was heading into his house on his bike when he started shit with me, so I assumed he lived in THAT house). As soon as the words left my mouth, a saw a man on a bike, heading our way and I focused to the point where my eyes were watering (you know if you don't blink for a while, your eyes flood) well, sure enough, as he got closer, I recognized him and shouted at him. Prince Harry grabbed him by the scruff of his jacket at said he needs to hold on a minute while I call the Police. The wanker pretended not to know me but I KNOW 1000% it was him.
He even went so far as to have painted his crappy bike a light blue (shitty hand painted job to disguise himself while on the get away vehicle).
I rang the 911, which is the freakin' Fire Department here, lol, and they connected me to the Police. I was shouting, too excited to speak proper German and I have no clue how they understood me, but they said they were on their way. Meanwhile a car pulled up and a man said he was an undercover cop and asked if everything was ok. we told him the scoop and he said he
too would wait until the cops came. The wanker who hit me suddenly said he remembered me and said to Prince Harry "I remember her, she called me a German DICK!". Hello? Probably as he was trapping me against the building , holding me captive, I did shout out some swear words, and I also shoved him to get free and run away from him! (see older blog) But none of that gives him the right to bother me while I am jogging and to hunt me down and knock me out and then flee like a coward. I screamed at him in German that he was a coward and he said "you are a coward!". His English was crap and it was really hard for Prince Harry to hold back from dragging him into the woods and giving him what he gave me, a nice big punch in the face.
Anyways, as the cops were arriving, Mr. Wanker spotted a stick (twig) on the side walk and when he picked it up, I actually thought he was going to try to hurt us with it, but he is so anal, he was simply tossed it into the bushes, as in, to clean the sidewalk. This is the same anal behavior that made him approach me and scream at me for stretching on a building, not even HIS building. The cops got out of their van and asked him for his Identification, and he hadn't any on him. I said "I am sure he lives in building
number 36, don't you!?" and he said "yes" and I said, "see, I knew it was him, that's the guy!" and one of the cops was one of the ones that came on Jan 26th to take my report after I had been beaten up. He remembered me, he said "You are the American lady right?".Yes, he remembers. He was a cool cop, and he totally wanted to find this fucker and now we did. He said that I should just head home and they would be in touch.
30 minutes later, the two cops were at my door. They came in and told me that HE wants to press charges against ME. WTF? We all had a laugh, but still, the cop still had to take his statement. He claims I hit him first on Jan. 26th (that's funny that (a) it took him almost 2 months to do anything about it (b) that he fled after bashing my face and I have pictures to prove it AND the cops saw my bloody face directly after I was knocked out. The cops also said that they checked his records and he has a huge history, a long record of violent crimes. This should come to NO surprise to you that people who are repeat offenders get to walk free here, as yesterday on the cover of all the papers, was a 25 year old woman who was just brutally raped and beat by a man who had already served time for rape AND murder. They let murderes and of course, rapist walk free here. WAAAAAY too liberal, that's why no one is afraid of the law, and that's why they aren't afraid of committing crimes, as they know they will simply get a slap on the fucking hand.
Bad thing is, the fucker knows my last name as he heard me call the cops and they wanted to know my name so I had to tell them
and we don't live far from one another. I find it creepy that he lives RIGHT around the corner from me and knows my last name. My pal Prince Harry said that works both ways, we know exactly were he lives and if the law won't punish him, well, my English friends want to. I really hope justice is served here, that fucker who has a history of hitting people needs to learn his lesson.
The fact that he went so far as to paint his bike and then wait 2 months to file his complaint and his bad record will probably hurt him in court. Having to see his ugly fucking face again was bad enough, now I have to face him in court, ew! Price Harry says he looks about 47 years old. What a PRAT. But I am happy now that I saw him again, happy, nervous, scared, excited, lots of mixed emotions, just thought I would give you an update as many keep asking me "have they caught that fucker who hit you yet!?" Well, now the answer is YES, we caught him (he is still in his apartment, nice and comfy, but the cops have his info now, so we shall see what happens next, which will probably be just a slap on his hand from the Liberal German legal system).
Taking a step back now, back to December, in NYC. I know, it's taking me ages to blog lately, but I have a lot of things going on, lots to juggle indeed. NYC was amazing; it's still my favorite place on earth. I filmed my Ask Dr. Dot column for an internet radio show but who knows if that will ever take off or not. People come to me daily with "great ideas" on how to make me rich/famous, get my books and ideas out there. They all talk SHIT! It was good practice, as now I am thinking of how to make a Pod cast for my column. Only thing holding me back is the fact that I would have to spend even MORE time online (my poor ass doesn't want to be sat on that much). I like to move it, move it, I like to move it, move it. You get the picture.
< Rite Aide
Even though NYC is one of the BEST places on earth to go out and party, my friends and I try to find healthy, fun things to do instead of always hanging out in bars doing karaoke and shaking our asses. Rite Aide and CVS are open 24/7 and so you can shop whenever you fucking want to without anyone rushing, pushing, nagging, etc. We end up in these places very often and well, we like to spice things up by pushing the envelope. My ass needed some air, so I let her out and started a trend amongst my pals. It was a big rush of adrenaline, seeing how far we could REALLY go without getting caught/arrested for indecent exposure.
My Gay friend Danny and I raise extreme amounts of hell, and we don't even need alcohol
to do so. We are naturally high. We had to ask a stranger to take these pics, he wanted some
cash in the end and we were like "ok, check's in the mail fuck face".
Our mutual pal MAX shot this tiny video in Rite Aide on New Years Eve. Well, it was actually
in the wee hours of New Years Day come to think of it. NAUGHTY!
This was really CHEEKY! ^ I am on a bench, in front of the Hoboken Town Hall, and in front of their Nativity
scene. Tsk Tsk, what a disrespectful wench.
^ Ok, that plunger idea was mine. Too bad he kept his undies on 🙁
It's REALLY fun riding in those carts; the place was packed so this shot was difficult to pull off without many
people seeing the ASS.
Funny thing is, I met Danny AGES ago in a Rite Aide, buying a stupid amount of Cotton Balls at 4am. Long story.
My friend FET made this Thong with the Wind movie poster, that's what friends are for 🙂
Daryl is my NYC massage rep. She runs the show in that area when I am away. I trust her BIG TIME, she is so incredibly honest and ambitious and amazing at what she does. I now have 3 reps on my team, Daryl, Catherine (Baltimore) and Roddy (London). They work their way up to that position and it means they are extremely dependable and trust worthy and basically the best at what they do. That guy there in the pic, Don, is a myspace friend. Sometimes when I know I will be in a certain area, I post a bulletin and say "lets RAWK! Let's karaoke!" and I meet some of my myspace pals. Don is a really cool dude. We all went to some cheesy Asian karaoke bar cause my favorite place, IGGY's (upper East Side) didn't have it that night, the night I ask all my myspace friends to come sing with me if they can (Normally they have it 7 nights a week but they didn't that night so I was flappin'!)
Daryl and her "friend" who looks like Tiger Woods. Daryl can sing her ASS off, I was amazed!!!!! People come up to
that guy and ask for his freakin' autograph on a regular basis. He REALLY looks just like him, it's bananas.
Even though Iggy's was closed the one night, it didn't stop me from going back. I LOVE that place, it is a fucking freak show!
This one guy brings his freakin' Chinchillas in there while people sing wicked loud (karaoke). I let them crawl all over me
(not the guests, the Chinchillas). After touching those little critters, I have to loathe anyone who wears that kind of fur. MEAN!
I got to see one of my best pals, Jonesy and his gal Barbara at one of my favorite restaurants "44X10". It's called that cause it's ON 44th and 10th. It's fucking LOVELY, the food, the service, the drinks, the staff. PLUS you can park free on 10th ave after 7pm. What more could you want? And of course, it's NON smoking, which is heaven on earth for me. Jasmine and one of her best pal's Rachel joined us: those girls!! Also pictured above, Mechel and I and her pal (Mechel is the one wearing the skull & cross bone shirt) and you can see Danny lurking in the back ground. He was nervous being in another "Breeder" bar (as in, not a gay bar), but he survived.
Back in Berlin, Shai, Danielle and I go out and sing from time to time. I usually have to play body guard and shoo the men away, as those
two are too nice. Not the case with me. Heh heh.
Of course the convo usually leads to oral sex and this time they wanted me to show them what I meant ^ (don't ask)
< Shai singing some country song that mentions "Wal Mart" repeatedly
I can't BELIEVE I still have that fucking shirt. I bought it in NYC at Trash and Vaudville in 1984!! No wonder I'm not a millionaire yet,
I gave out a fortune in Beatles and Stones shit over the years. That bastard cost me $80 and I've never worn it.
OK, I massaged Shai, then Alex, then they got crazy on my massage table ^ They are NOT shy.
I went to Manchester, England on Feb 10th. I was so excited to go there and hang with my friends and Vicki (dressed as a man here) organized me going on a Music related TV show called "Manchester City Social" or something to that effect. The night I landed was pure chaos. The place I was supposed to stay at, well, the guy changed his mind and said "not tonight, but tomorrow" which left me in the fucking shit. Vicki offered me a place to stay at her place, but it's really small and she and her room mate already had guests staying there and so I had to move my shit to another random renters house, a guy named Keir who was mad cool, but the room he rented was FAR from dark and quiet like he said it would be, in fact, I doubt a place could be any fucking LOUDER!.
Anyways, Vick, Will and I went to the party, the party in which women were supposed to dress as old men and men were supposed to dress as old ladies. Didn't sound very fucking appetizing to me, so I came dressed normal and luckily didn't get turned away for showing up without a costume. The party was great and Vicki rapped on the mic, freestyle for what seemed like hours, she is born to entertain and she is getting her own radio show very soon, and personally, I think she belongs on TV, she is so fucking funny. She sings and has a song called "Don't fucking touch me on the dance floor!" which I am SURE would go over very well in the states, as I personally hate dancing in America, as the men think it's ok to hump you raw on the dance floor, some even sandwich you like a piece of lunch meat.EW, fucking EW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sad thing is, they do it cause the girls LET them do it, so they think it's ok to do that to every snatch they see. Wrong fucking answer.
< Too much touching on the dance floor
As you can see, most dressed up for the party.
^ Vicki's breast made a special appearance
This is at a bar called Siam Orchid Lounge (Portland ave). It has karaoke 7 nights a week!! So basically, it's the Iggy's of Manchester. Lots of rowdy fucking
red necks (but the Mancunian accent makes them kewl). It takes for FUCKING HOURS to sing here, so bring lots of time and money
as it's also very expensive. I suggest drinking at home, then going here and drinking water. Their wine SUCKS ASS (screw off cap). It's
great for karaoke, but the food and drinks here bite, get my drift? It's a karaoke-whore hang out. I found it horrifying that they didn't have ONE
James Brown song in their song book. WHAT THE FUCK!? Are you kidding me? Bring your own karaoke cd's to be on the safe side. heh heh.
ps. It's smoky as FUCK in every bar/pub/restaurant in the UK. I can hardly wait for the smoking ban. Amen.
^ Pauline went and washed off that make up and took down her hair. I didn't even recognize her at first. She is a
KNOCK OUT! (she is from Scotland and her accent is so charming, oh LORD!)
Another myspace mate of mine, Jed. He helped me with my bags, helped me get the hell out of Manchester. I
left in a hurry as the guy who found the last place I stayed at seemed to think it was ok to ring my door bell for hours,
sneak into the building and bang on my door for ages and follow me down the street even when I said I don't want
to talk to him, so in some sense, he was stalking me. I am a drama magnet. Holy FUCK!
Vicki and I went out after I filmed that TV show and we ate at a place called Wagamama.
It quickly became my favorite place to eat in Manchester. I ate there several times.
Yummy as HELL!
< Video I made of that expensive HOLE I stated in
A tiny video I made of that OVER PRICED shit hole I stayed in for 5 nights (it was 300 pound for 5 nights, which is like $600 and it isn't even a hotel, it's a flat that has no internet, mold in the bathroom and pubic hairs all over the bed. Fucking EW!!!!!! The bar above, Churchills, is on Canal Street, the gayest street in the UK, which the fags nick named "Anal Treat" (they altered the sign, so instead of Canal Street it's ANAL TREAT). Anyhow, even hetro's hang on this street as it's hoppin' 7 nights a week and Churchills has karaoke tues. thurs and sunday nights. Vick and I went in there and the Lesbo's were really into my leather pants. One even started waltzing with me in the ladies room. I belted out some James Brown and I have to say, the sound is the best in that town for karaoke. Loved it there. Their song book is a foot thick, they have it ALL. Overall, I found Manchester to be EXTREMELY expensive. I had to drag my lap top to Starbucks every day and pay 5 pounds an hour to check my emails. A cup of coffee is like 3 pounds ($6) and to ring a friend on a cell phone, it usually cost about 4 pounds for a quick chat. I don't see how English people survive. Sure I know a lot of stars, a lot of rich folks, but the normal people I hung with were so broke, they couldn't PAY attention, I mean NO ONE has ANY money there, no one! Really sad situation.
The Germans better fucking count their blessings (6 weeks paid vacation per year,6 weeks of paid Sick Days, cheap health insurance etc) as the English have it HARD compared to how cushy it is in Germany. I bet the UK will fall to pieces if they fall prey to converting to the Euro. I doubt they could survive that blow.
Also, the streets and shops and bars are dirty there (Manchester). Litter everywhere and even the canals were loaded with trash, it was fucking nasty. Sorry, but I have to be honest here.I didn't see ANY grass at all, barely any trees and it stunk like garbage. A great town to go party if you are rich, but there is a lot of fighting there as well, very hostile drunks there (and I mean the WOMEN!). Yes, The women, well, they need to put some fucking clothes on, and no, I am not being prude, I mean most are so fucking chubby and ugly and yet wear things 8 times too small for them and they parade around the streets like that in the FREEZING, wet weather. No matter if it's snowing, raining, freezing, they refuse to wear coats, they want to make it as EASY as possible for the men to look at their bodies.
I can't understand why 95% of the people there walk around without a coat on, are they numb? Dumb? Drunk? Afraid of losing their precious coats? Can't afford one? Or all of the above? Please, fill me in on this, so I can peel my jaw off the floor. Call Jerry Springer, he needs to have a Manchester based show.
Now I know exactly where they got the inspiration for the popular UK comics THE FAT SLAGS from!!
Some crazy fucks floating around that town I tell ya and I was MADLY disappointed at the lack of rock and roll. Everywhere I went I heard shitty "music". I was shocked as I thought great music came from that area. I was hoping to at least hear some Oasis, Happy Mondays or James or so, but no, just cheesy bubble gum techno shite that would make the Spice Girls sound like Led Zepp! Next time I go there, I will do massive research as to where to REALLY go for some good music. The TV show I was on had 3 amazing acts on it, I couldn't believe my ears. So I know there is talent there, but where they fuck do they play/hide?
I guess it's the same in every major city, if you hang out in the tourist center of town, you will get CHEESE.
Me at a tiny English bus stop ^ and a tiny video I made of the country side ^
On my 7th day there, I decided it was time to escape. I was thinking of staying 2 weeks but the place I was staying at fell prey to a stalker and it was getting so expensive, the whole trip cost me more than 1000 POUNDS (that's $2,000) and for what? I still don't know the answer to that. A very special friend of mine came and rescued me, he drove me to the South of England, near Gloucester and I got to see the lovely country side (Prince William lives a mile from there). THIS is the side of England I love, countryside, fresh air, polite folks, no litter, rolling hills of green, cute pubs and loads of land to walk around on, undisturbed. I guess I prefer the country side over the big cities. The ONLY big city I love is NYC, litter and all.
"There's no place like home"
(but where is home? "Home is where the heart is. On the bus")
Just came back from Manchester, UK, will do a major blog as soon as I catch my breath… it was a crazy trip, as usual.. Anyhow, meet our new Massage Therapist, Sadie. She can massage you in or around London when ever you want a Dr. Dot style massage. If you are heading there or are already there and want a massage, let me know x
Hi my name is Sadie and I live just outside of London, England. I worked freelance in Illustration for a year after completing a course at the London College of Fashion. To earn some money I worked in the Banking industry for two years, but that was definitely not for me. I wanted a more creative job that matched my personality & interests.
I have always loved massage and decided to enroll on a course, I totally absorbed myself and completed last year in Swedish massage. I am now on an advanced course for Swedish massage that specializes in deep tissue, and hope to go into Reflexology and Holistic therapy at the end of the year. I would also love to study abroad for different massage techniques and therapies; I am always looking for ways to enhance my massage techniques and create a more unusual and tailor made experience for the client.
I met Dot last year at a party and we got talking straight away, I was instantly inspired. I had never met anyone so focused and ambitious. When Dot explained the Dr.Dot team and gave me a leaflet I couldn’t wait to audition. I massaged Dot later that week and was thrilled and shocked to have been offered a place on the team!
Email me at info@drdot.com and write "Sadie/London" in the subject line if you want to book a massage
/
< I just bought this stuff and Lisa was the first to try it. Better her than me. 
< Knut with his caretaker
< HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
< Steph doesn't remember posing for this pic.
He even went so far as to have painted his crappy bike a light blue (shitty hand painted job to disguise himself while on the get away vehicle).
< Rite Aide
< Shai singing some country song that mentions "Wal Mart" repeatedly
"There's no place like home"
