blog – Page 121 – Dr. Dot's Blog

June 17, 2006January 6, 2024

Roger Waters = AMAZING!

Roger Waters = AMAZING!

Sometimes it’s hard for me to express in words the excitement of touching certain people. This doesn’t happen often. Last week, June 8th and 9th to be exact I was in heaven and it has taken me a few days to get my feet back on the ground. For some it may be hard to grasp being so excited about a musician, but I could tell you, it would be the same for a boxer to win a match, a soccer team to win the world cup, you get my drift.

I have met Roger Waters several times over the years and each time I am over the moon with glee. He has always been an object of my desire since the first time I heard his music. The fondness grew stronger when I first laid eyes on him in the film the Wall when I was in the 7th grade. Such a talented mastermind and so attractive and on top of that, he is the coolest. If you have any doubts, please watch the film “Pink Floyd: LIVE AT POMPEII” and after you watch it, think of me saying “I told you so”.

It may sound odd to some but for me, Roger is the UK version of Zappa, but probably just to me. His lyrics are so deep, so meaningful, they teach. Waters and Zappa wrote lyrics that I studied more than any subject in school. Ditto with the Beatles, but Waters (as well as Zappa) did many concept albums and they are not just entertaining, they really changed my way of looking at life. Animals, Dark Side of the Moon and The Pro’s and Cons of Hitchhiking are 3 albums I could not live without. I know, sounds obsessive, but we all have our cravings.

Roger wrote 98% of all Pink Floyd lyrics and music, (for example, Roger wrote the Wall and The Pro’s and Cons ALONE, and then presented them to the rest of the band and said “I will do one of these as a solo project, which one would you all like to do as a group. They chose the Wall. The Pro’s and Con’s is just as good, if not better, than the Wall. “Reg” is beyond AWESOME. He IS Pink Floyd in my opinion. I can not go see “Pink Floyd” if Roger isn’t there. I have videos of Floyd when Gilmour wasn’t even in the band. I do love Gilmour and the rest of the band, but I am a Roger fan and stand by that 100 %. Once in 1987, Roger was on tour and so were Pink Floyd. In Providence, RI, “Pink Floyd” (without Roger!) played and the very next day, Roger played ( I went to the show). There were so many fools walking around wearing shirts that said “Fuck Roger” I wanted to hurl! They bought them at the Pink Floyd show and they were black with the same writing as there is on the Wall album. How tacky. Enough ass kissing you say? Bollocks, don’t get me started, I could go on and on about “Reg” (Roger’s nickname). My 4 musical favorites are Beatles, Zappa, Floyd and the Stones; sometimes it changes, as in, some months it’s Floyd, Beatles, Stones and Zappa, and other times it’s Zappa, Stones, Floyd, Beatles; know what I mean? Those are my top three, and just like you shouldn’t choose your favorite child, don’t press me to choose just one favorite. Although over the years I have sort of loved the Beatles way more than the Stones. Long story..

I remember driving around NH, in between Grateful Dead tours, with my younger brother and sister, CRANKING the cassette: Ummagumma. I made them listen to it repeatedly. Then it was onto Meddle, Pipers at the Gates of Dawn, Saucerful of Secrets, Obscured by Clouds, Relics, a Nice Pair, even Barretts INSECTS album. I raised my daughter on great music although I never played Zappa for her until she was 18. His lyrics are rated PG. heh heh.

Jasmine can play ‘Wish you were here’ and some Beatles tunes on her guitar, which is so satisfying to me.

I have seen over 3,000 shows now, all for free. The only time I have bought tickets was before I turned 15 and for a Roger Waters benefit show in 1990 here in Berlin, his WALL show and then again for the Zappa plays Zappa show and more recently the June 8th Roger Waters show here in Berlin. Those shows were so important to me, that I didn’t want to risk it, what if no one wanted a massage? I had to be sure we were getting in. I ended up getting backstage for Zappa plays Zappa and gave my tix away to Jasmine’s pal and luckily, the same happened at the Roger Waters show.

It was looking like Jasmine and I would just be in the audience to see the show, but in the last minute, I decided to just try- I called Simon, a tour manager turned friend, whom I have known for a few years now. He worked with Dave Gahan and I saw him backstage at Live 8 with Roger Waters. He called me and he said “Dot, where are you? Can’t believe we are in Berlin and you’re not backstage”.

Um, say no more, Jasmine and I grabbed a cab and were bouncing off the taxi walls with insane excitement. The taxi driver was about 70 years old and took the longest, slowest possible route which made me want to explode, but nevertheless, we got there as the show started as we ran towards the stage singing the first song “In the Flesh” out loud (all of the Germans were looking at us like WTF??!!), but we didn’t give a flying fuck.

I was wearing an English Football (er, soccer for you yanks) shirt and this made me the object of hateful glares all night from the German football fans. They kept saying to me in amusing English “You are VEARING zeeee VRONG SHIRT!”. heh heh, we’ll see mates, we’ll see.

Jasmine wanted to watch the show from the side, but I dragged her backstage as I wanted to thank Simon profusely for the backstage passes. He was super happy to see us and insisted we watch the show ON the stage in the VIP section. Jasmine was basically hyperventilating at this point from too much joy at once. She and I have watched Live at Pompeii an unhealthy amount of times and she has never seen Roger live before. *sigh*.

Simon bring us drinks on stage, hello, could he be any fucking nicer? Simon is the bomb!!!! ^

Please don’t read me the riot act here, yes, Jasmine had a beer. She will be 17 on Monday (June 19th) . Hello! They all start really young here in Europe, enjoying their beverages. If you try to prevent/forbid it, they just do it even more. I just go with the flow and trust her judgment.

The sound was amazing, I haven’t head such amazing sound quality since last years Live 8 when Pink Floyd reformed.

Roger is a perfectionist and I am grateful for that. My ears were smiling all night long. Jasmine started to weep during Wish you Were Here. You know how certain songs remind you of a certain person/time, well, that song had a lot of folks bleary eyed. I love how Roger goes to the edge of the stage and sings, even when he isn’t in front of a mic. I told him that I like that and he said he likes to encourage people to sing along and it works. The whole place seemed to know every word to every song, even though English isn’t their mother tongue.

^ Has been playing guitar for Roger for ages. Mr. Andy Fairweather Lowe, the Great!

I am wearing the RIGHT shirt! ^

< Jasmine and I in heaven!

The set list ^ which Roger Signed the next day after his massage. So, I massaged Simon after the show and he said that Roger wanted a massage the next day at 6pm, You know I was there early, with bells on, so to speak. Simon brought me to Roger’s room to set up and get prepared for when Roger returned from Golfing. It was the first warm and sunny day in ages in Berlin, great for Golfing. Funny how so many rock stars go Golfing in Berlin (Alice Cooper is one of many).

The TV was on and the first game of the World Cup was on. Germany vs Costa Rica (Germany won that game 4 – 2 by the way). Roger arrived and was in a great mood. He remembered me and was really sweet. I started his massage with my special invention (started doing this method when I was 5 years old on my mom) the “Bite Method massage”. He was keeping one eye on the game most of the time and he loved the massage. I was paid in advance for 90 minutes but I massaged him for 2 and a half hours ( I was making it last as long as possible

We had some small talk, I usually don’t speak during a massage, but we had tiny breaks to have a sip of water etc, and I asked him why he has never done “Across the Universe” live. He didnt recall ever doing that song and I said “I have it on video, you and Andy Fairweather Lowe on guitar”. “ah yes”, then he remembered. He said that he never thought about doing it live, but hey, if he ever does, feel free to thank me. He does an AMAZING version of that song. I asked him about the gorgeous turquoise/silver ring on his right hand. He said he has had it on since 1969. He banged it once and it bent and he can’t get it off. I found that to be really cute. By the way, no need to ask me “Did you ask him if Pink Floyd will ever get back together” because I would NEVER fucking ask him that stupid question. Don’t ask Sting about the Police; Eric about Cream and don’t ask Roger about Pink Floyd, it’s insulting and fucking annoying.

I love his work with Pink Floyd but I also love all of his solo albums, so we talked about those instead. I asked him why there is no dvd for the Pro’s and Con’s tour, He said they didn’t video tape that tour or Radio Kaos tour either. I find that VERY unfortunate. I own the “In the Flesh” dvd, it’s from Roger’s 2002 solor tour, it has Doyle Bramhall on guitar and it fucking ROCKS!!!! If you don’t have it yet, I highly recommend it. I have two copies, one for my NYC place and one for my Berlin place. Can’t be without that. Doyle isn’t on this tour, he is cheating on Roger with Eric Clapton (so all is forgiven). Clapton played the night before here in Berlin, so Roger and Doyle were up most of the night chatting and having a drink or two. Roger waited as long as he could for Eric to return from a recording studio, but he had to hit the hay eventually and they missed each other by minutes. Clapton played guitar on Rogers ‘Pro’s and Cons of Hitchhiking’ album, oh GOD, it’s AMAZING!!!

Note: I asked Roger (as I do every musician I massage) what he thought of Zappa. He said ” I used to hang around Frank a lot in the 60’s and even stay at his house for a long while, and ended up breaking Suzy Cream-cheese’s heart, unforunately.” He almost forgot about jamming with Frank until I reminded him. He said “are you sure?” Yes, I am very very sure:

Pink Floyd jamming with Frank Zappa ^

< THE ring

Rubbing Roger’s feet ( me= happy)

Roger said, even though there was no live footage for the Pros and Cons tour, he had JUST received a dvd the day before of never before seen videos he made back in the day for the Pros and Cons Album, Radio Kaos and even Amused to Death (“What God wants, God gets” with Jeff Beck on Guitar).

He said “after the massage you can see them if you like”. Uh, ya think? YAY! He set up the videos on his lap top for me to watch and HE put the head phones on me and headed for the shower. I sat there for almost 30 minutes with my jaw open, one constant “WOW”. The videos he made simply MUST be released. I told him all of his fans would buy them. He seemed open for comments/feedback. Looking into his eyes is so exciting, I am still smiling. Bad news is, he is engaged and very much in love. I told him I find that to be a pain in the ass and extremely unfair. He is ALWAYS taken. I told him him it’s not fair and he should give other girls, like me for example a chance. He just grinned, never said a word when I was talking that shit. I did tell him his ass was in GREAT shape and he is still HOT. Again, just a grin

Face the facts, I have the balls to say what you want to say, it’s as simple as that. heh heh. Jasmine didn’t make it to school that day (day after the show), we both slept until 2pm (already has those rock star habits). I wrote her yet another rock and roll excuse note “sorry, Roger Waters was in town”. The last one was “Zappa plays Zappa was in town”. Her home room teacher smiled and said “Jasmine, you are lucky I am your homeroom teacher. Tell your Mom I am jealous”.

She made an incredible portrait of Roger and I brought it for him to sign. He was really flattered and signed it “To Jasmine, love Roger”. She is gloating.

^ This is now one of my favorite photographs. He is smiling at me. Not the camera. I can die peacefully now.

June 2, 2006

Ask Dr. Dot

I started dating a younger guy, he is 26 and I am 30. We decided to see each other occasional for only sexual activities. I really like him because he is a very handsome man. The first time we made love, it took only 2 minutes for him to cum. The second time the same thing and his penis is only about 5 inches long. Why he does cum so quickly??? This doesn't give me a chance to cum too….please answer! but he becomes erect so quickly with me…no problem on that side. PS: It is because his penis is not bigger or he doesn't like me?

Sounds like he cums so quickly because he doesn't care about you, just his little cock. The size of his penis has nothing to do with his stamina. Obviously he likes you a little bit otherwise he wouldn't be dogging you. He is young and selfish. Make him lick you until you cum, then let him fuck you, get your priorities straight.

My wife and i have been together since 1989. we were having wild hot sex almost every night . She would always cum a couple of times before i'd fill her up.Then last year i found that i did not feel as horny around her (she looks great and has a firm body) . seems that i always have to be the one to make the first move and if i don't initiate sex then there probably wont be any. I am becoming flustered by always having to be the ONE start the ball rolling and sometimes when were having sex its like ho-hum didely dum .but whats worse is that now my cock hardly ever gets real hard and alot of the time it goes soft long before either of us are pleasured . and the more i thing about the fact that it may go soft … the faster it happens . this has become an obsession with me now . I ve got Viagra from my Doctor but with a small dose my cock still went soft … any ideas on how help me regain my stiffness would be greatly appreciated

Big Softie

Notice how the sperm race towards the egg? They fight to be the first one to the egg. In my opinion, sex is always best when the man initiates the sex. Sure it's hot once in a while when your lady shows you she is hot and ready, but if she was the one usually starting the romp, wouldn't you feel more feminine? How strange would it be for the egg to suddenly chase after the sperm? I doubt your problem has to do with the fact that she isn't asking for sex, I think it's more that you are getting bored and worrying that a mid-life crisis/dry spell is heading your way. I am against pill popping, even though I am aware millions make a living cramming pills down peoples throats. You have two separate problems, the first being your sex life has become tedious and boring. This happens to most couples, sadly. I feel that sleeping apart keeps passion alive. Sleeping next to your partner makes them so familiar it can be hard to lust after them. All the tossing and turning and smelling each others farts can turn any hot romance into a predictable hell. Try sleeping separately once in a while (I prefer ALWAYS sleeping apart, but that's just my twisted mind). Make sure you are having alone time with you and your best friend: your cock. Make sure you two have naughty sessions to remind you who's really in charge. As far as getting soft, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it does come with age. You can try to prevent it by avoiding fluoride ( tap water/tooth paste) because I think it's a hard-on killer (it can't just be a coincidence that men born and raised in places that have fluoride in their drinking water have trouble with erections but have nice teeth, where as in Europe, etc, they have crappy teeth because there is no fluoride in their water, but have NO problem getting and staying hard). You two could also try a change of scenery, fucking in the same old bed time after time will make fantasy and passion difficult.

Even though it's over between me and my long term boyfriend (7 years) I am still obsessing about him. I always imagine how it looks when he fucks another girl. I put them into every position and worry if she is better in bed than I was for him. I always worry if he still loves me or if we will ever get back together. I wonder about him so much that I can't even sleep anymore. My girlfriends are tired of hearing it, so I am all alone with this problem. If you could just tell me how to get over someone, how to stop thinking about someone, maybe that would help.

Not over him Nat

Sounds like someone has too much free time on their hands. Get busy, get your life back, in other words, get a life.What will be, will be. You can't make someone love you or come back to you. If it's meant to be that you two reconcile, it will happen, but sitting around sweating him will not change anything, it will simply waste time. Before my Grandmother, DOT senior died, she told me "if you have one foot in the past and one in the future, your legs will be wide apart shitting all over today." Stressing over what was or what will be is actually ruining your present life and that's all we really have so cheer up, this isn't a rehearsal, it's the real deal, we only live once.

May 26, 2006

Ask Dr. Dot ( polygamy/ Blaming Bitch/ Faking it)

My girlfriend keeps accusing me of cheating, even though I'm not. I want to know how I can stop her from this insulting behavior. Sometimes I work late or go for a few brews with my friends, and this prompts a huge amount of questioning and blaming. I love her madly but this has got to stop or I'm history.

Perhaps you should open your eyes a bit more as to what she's up to, why she's so quick to blame. The next time she throws accusations your way, say "Just like a thief lives in fear of someone stealing from them, a cheater is always afraid their partner is cheating on them, is that why you keep accusing me?". This should shut her up. If you really are being faithful and she won't let up, warn her once, then walk.

I have a confession to make, I have been faking orgasms with my boyfriend and I want to come clean. I am 34 and he is 27, we have been together for 2 years and he has never made me cum but I fake it so well, he thinks I cum every time. It started out harmlessly, I just faked the orgasm because he was working so hard at it and I was getting tired. Now it's a game I have to keep up and I am getting sick of it. I can make myself cum, but he can't. Please throw me a bone.

Faking Fran

Faking an orgasm is like bombing for peace, or fucking for virginity. It's the most ignorant thing one can do. Just be yourself and you can never go wrong. Telling him you have been faking it will surely end the relationship so if you want to save it, just stop faking it immediately and when he asks what's wrong, just tell him you are stressed/tired or you feel it's time to try new things in bed, then SHOW him how to make you really cum. Show him how YOU make yourself cum. If you really don't give a rat's ass about the relationship, tell him you have been faking, it will make you feel great to come clean but surely it will crush him and make you look like a lying cunt. Being brutally honest is empowering and can hurt others, but being too diplomatic and acting is far worse.

I have been "dating"(no sex yet , well maybe a little) a man whom I have had an incredible connection with . I hadn't been physically attracted at first but he made it clear he was and if we spent time together I would be too. He is an amazing man, kind, romantic, well respected ,very creative in many ,many ways (musician), treats me with great respect and appreciates the woman I am, we work well together, my affection did grow over time(about 9 months ) and now we are madly in love. The problem is he is a polygamist ( different than a swinger ) and of course a GEMINI . He is also Muslim ,very committed to his faith . Now when he first told me I thought no problem I was not attracted and we will have a great friendship, now that we are in love I have to decide to end it or continue, the thought of ending it breaks my heart . We have spent hours talking about his lifestyle and mine and I have come to understand the place his has and have come to accept it. I am very contemplative, intellectual person and have done a lot of reading on Islam and polygamy. He is very clear about his intentions to make me his 2nd wife (spiritual union before god , not a legal marriage) and despite my upbringing I am considering it on so many levels it feels right. He is not the player type , if I want to be with him I have to make a real commitment. He is planning a night out with his wife and I so we can meet each other. This will either snap me back into reality or be a pleasant surprise.

My question to you is :"Is it possible for a good descent man to want two wives? Is it also possible for a strong independent woman to truly accept this? Or am I compromising because I am so madly in love , have I been brainwashed?
Willing Wanda

A.

Most men find it hard to be physically true anyways, so what's the difference? (spare me the bitchy emails, I said "MOST") At least he's being honest about it. As in, "I am strong enough to care for more than one woman, and I want you to be one of them". Marrying him means you are cool with his ways and don't feel threatened. Nothing last forever anyways and we only live once. If you "marry" him and find out later it's not for you, just leave, as you said, it's not a legal marriage, just a spiritual one. No big deal.
Take a chance, love is worth it. Live, Love, laugh and do like Janis Joplin says "get it while you can!"

April 27, 2006

Ask Dr. Dot

I never cease to wonder at the constant chorus of females hammering home how important non penetrative clitoral stimulation is with the implication that straight copulation is totally uninteresting. I've even had a girlfriend memorably not bother to hide her own total ennuis when she deigned to consider normal coitus after she'd been serviced. I was grateful that your own contribution to this endless refrain was leavened by a reluctant quote from L'il Kim (If you ain't lickin' it, you ain't stickin' it). Why oh why then do vibrators exist? Where do they fit into the equation and could we not work out how to arrange for men to get their satisfaction at the same time as saving batteries?

Ennius? Coitus? No wonder your girl wants to use a vibrator, she can't fucking understand you. Vibrators make you feel like you replaceable? That's how porn and a pet dog make most women feel now a days (men getting their unconditional love from their four legged friend and their sex from wanking off to porn). As far as I am concerned, dildos and vibrators are made for Lesbians who crave cock but loathe having sex with men and for 'visual pleasure' (she bends over, legs apart naked and inserts vibrator repeatedly while he watches from the side of the bed, slightly drooling, pleasuring himself). Well, that's all I use them for anyways…NOTHING beats the real thing my good man.

Another good use for Vibrators ^

I am dating a guy since 9 months and I really want out of the relationship. It has always been very stormy, but the sex is always hot. I want to leave him because he drinks and is unstable but every time I talk about wanting a change, he threatens to kill himself. How will I ever get out of this mess? I have the feeling he would really do it!!

In a rut with a nut

Reminds me of a book I read called "If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet?".

You should write aletter to him telling him it would be worse for him if you stayed out of fear and sympathy than to end your love affair. Tell him you will be there for him as a friend, but you must move on as you have lost interest in being his lover. Make a couple copies of this letter and give one to his Mom, Dad or best friend, so he gets support and the others know what's going on. If he is too weak to handle that, it's not your fault or problem, sadly life is really survival of the fittest and you can't save everyone (that's my job) heh heh.

I'd like to know what constitutes big. My cock is 6 inches long when it's hard and pretty thick, no girl has complained, but I want your opinion please. Thick Nick

A. I am pretty sure that every man on earth has measured his cock at least once, but I have never gotten a ruler out to find out exactly how big a guys schlong is. Some may argue with my opinion, but if it reaches the navel button when it's hard, that's big enough, anything longer and it will be poking our delicate belongings. If you can't touch your index finger to your thumb when you have them around your cock, that my friend, is called paradise. That nasty rumor that size doesn't matter was made up by a man with a tiny cock. Size does matter, but what you lack in size you can make up for with your tongue and fingers. I wish I had enough free time to measure my body parts.

< Measure your Cock the correct way

April 27, 2006

Mr. Paul Weller…….

I finally had the pleasure of not only seeing Paul Weller live in Concert, but getting to massage him as well. I have heard about Paul for years, most of the British bands I have massaged all rant and rave about the man, especially Oasis. They must be his biggest fans. When I massaged Oasis, they played the Stones, Beatles, but most of the time, they had Paul Weller on. Noel told me all about him, as I had never heard of him before. I have heard of his former band, The Jam, but have to admit that I don't have any of their records.

Some call him the MODFATHER of Rock and Roll, as in, his music is very MOD. The band he is touring with presently are incredible. When I first walked backstage, the bass player, Damon Minchella yelled "I met you backstage at Live 8!!". He was playing bass for the Who and I was massaging those guys that day.. Then the Drummer, Steve White said the same thing. He is the brother of Alan White, the former drummer of Oasis. You see, the Rock and Roll world is very small, so don't piss anyone off, especially me heh heh.

I was in the production office, waiting to see who would want a massage first and I noticed that every one kept coming in and ironing their clothes. The whole band was busy getting their kit ready for the show. Paul came in and said hello. He said he wanted a back rub, so instead of getting on my massage table, he just sat his gorgeous self down and I started his rub down right there. He is in no way snobby or arrogant, he is really down to earth and cool. He was a bit sun burned as they just got back from Spain. I asked him casually what he thought about Frank Zappa. He said "I have no opinion about him at all, I have maybe heard one track of his my whole life, you see, they never played him on the radio in the UK, so I have nothing to say about him". I think that is the first guitarist I have ever met who hadn't anything to say about Frank. Like Frank or not, everyone usually at least knows his stuff and has respect or at least an opinion about him. I was on a mission from that point on.

He over payed me and was very grateful for my massage. Then he got out a piece of paper and wrote the set list for the evening. I have never seen an artist write their own set list (some type it out) . His tour manager, Ken, who has been with him for years and years told me he does it every night and the set list is different every night, depending on his mood. Ken made me a copy of the set list:

Yes, those are the treasures that I love! ^

After a few songs, my friend Martina came to the show and I got her backstage. We went to the front row and watched in awe.

< Paul in concert

Most of the audience here in Berlin were Brits that live and work here (some Irish as well) . The place was heaving and in heaven. Paul was in a great mood and on the ball. He gave it his ALL!!!! I knew then what Noel was on about, how great he plays and his voice, oh God , how SEXY!!! It's a tad like Joe Cocker and Rod Stewart, but unique. An English bar tender I know here in Berlin was standing next to me, he pointed at Paul and said "He is the sexiest man on Earth!". I know DAM WELL the bar tender is married and far from gay, but Paul has this aura, like Bowie, that draws even hetro men in. His music and voice are THAT good. At one point his leather guitar strap broke, but he just carried on and held on and played the best he could until his guitar tech came on stage to sort it out. It seemed to me that the whole band never stopped smiling once. The guitarist, Steve Cradock, who also plays in the band called Ocean Colour Scene has every good reason to smile. His guitar solos were so sharp and tight, he sometimes stole the show. Don't even get me started about the bass player. Paul obviously knew what he was doing choosing that band to tour with. The bassist & drummer are in a band called The Players Lounge as well.

Paul and I (he is mad cool!) ……. Giving him some deep tissue elbow action ^

Steve White (drums) getting his hands done… ….just like his brother did years ago when he was with Oasis ^

Note: in that pic of Oasis, I have Alan Whites hand in mine, massaging it, that chick in the red dress is a belly dancer, she was dancing for the opening act. Noel said "Dot, there's some old Slapper out in the hall, she speaks German, I can't bloody understand a fooking word she's on about, can you translate?". She asked if she could pose with the band. They said ok, but when she sat down next to Alan, her sequins pulled a few threads from Alan's sweater, he was not amused and that is why the chick has such an apologetic look on her mug. If you look closely, you can see the magazine cover that I had the band sign, which is now proudly displayed in my autograph section.

Steve the guitarist getting a rub down after the show ^

< Martina was lovin' life

Ok, after the show, Martina drove me home to drop off my massage table and to change. I grabbed a copy of Frank Zappa's cd 'Joe's Garage' which is a good starter kit for someone who doesn't know Zappa. I also grabbed a copy of my Bitchfest cd heh heh.

We arrived at the bar they were at and Steve, the drummer was talking to fans, I slipped a current copy of VIZ in his hand and his face lit up. He stopped talking to the fans and started going through the issue. Paul greeted Martina and I with a peck on the cheek and asked us what we wanted to drink. I was really tired and said "a Martina, no ice, no salt". Paul and Martina both said "WHAT?" and laughed at me. I was like OH!! Dam!! I mean a "Margareta, no ice, no salt" what the FUCK?! Martina on the brain!! Paul was so sweet, getting everyone drinks and even bringing them to his guests, like a good host does! I slipped the Zappa cd in his hand and said, I hope on tour you find a chance to give Frank a listen. He was really please. He assured me he would. The drummer and bass player are madly into Zappa, but Steve the guitarist and Paul both needed the started kit. After a couple drinks, I got the balls to give Paul my Bitchfest cd. I told him it's no big woop, just my cover band and to please listen to it when he was alone. He said "NO WAY! I will play it for the whole band and crew, really loudly"! ha ha.

I asked Paul if he checks his myspace.com page. He said "WOT? Never heard of it". He said he doesn't spend time online. I told him myspace may seem like a silly concept, but if the radio doesn't play his music, how are young people supposed to know about it? Myspace is the perfect way to get your music out there for all walks of life to enjoy (or loathe). He agreed in the end, but still, he does NOT have anything to do with his myspace profile. Some artists on there are really on there, but Paul is not one of them.

Steve the guitarist ( I have to keep saying that cause the drummer's name is Steve too). Steve got a foot rub in the bar and then decided it was my turn. I tell ya, guitarist of any kind always give great foot rubs, don't let them tell you otherwise

< My favorite thing on EARTH! FOOT RUBS!

You see, I let Steve off easy with the price of his massage, so I guess he felt obligated to rub my feet YAY! 🙂

< Last but not least, Damon.

What a cool Mo Fo he is!! He LOVES to talk about music, so we just went on and on… Try to catch these guys live in concert if you can, you won't be disappointed.

April 14, 2006

Ask Dr. Dot (Chunky Spunk strikes again/ She’s so cold)

Q.
My boyfriend's spunk is so chunky, I would have to chew it to get it down, not
only that, it smells like fish. We're talking chunky style clam chowder here
and he expects me to swallow his salty tide. He gets super annoyed if I don't do
this.
Everything else is fine, but I am not down with this, I would need a blender.
Can you come up with a solution to this?
Gagging Gail

A.
Bring a bag of croutons into the bed room and tell him
you need them to go with your clam chowder.Maybe that will bring the point
home.
If not, next time he cums in your mouth, french kiss him right away, slip some
of his stew into his mouth and see how he likes it.If you don't have the balls to do
that, tell him he needs to drink more water and wank more often, that is
what's clogging his pipes. If that doesn't work, tell him you will only blow
him if it doesn't involve taking his stew into your mouth. Smell and taste are
nature's way of telling you this partner is or isn't the right one to breed
with.

Q.
Dear Dr. Dot-
My job takes me on the road sometimes for up to 8 week at a time. My wife and
I are in our mid 40's and our sex life is great when I'm at home but when I'm
away, she becomes all about everything but sex. I don't know how she cannot
feel the need for relief as I do during these long times apart. We have two
young boys (14/16) and she says she's too busy to even think about sex. I
have suggested other ways to spice up these weeks apart but she seems to want
no part of it. I've tried sexy e-mails and several suggestive type phone calls.
I even sent her X-rated pictures of myself but still NO LUCK! She says she
doesn't even think about sex when I'm away. I don't know what to do to get
her motor
running from long distance. She knows I need more sexual attention during
these lengthy road trips but also makes it clear to me she's just not in the
mood when I'm away. This response (or lack of) has become extremely frustrating and
has me resenting her somewhat for her disinterest. Please help! Should we see a
specialist?
A.
No, don't see a specialist, it will put too much pressure on an already tense
situation.
Most wives want less sex then their husbands, I get these emails every day.
All you can do is play upon her romantic side..
Tell her she looks good, you miss her smile, you can't wait to massage her
feet again, give her genuine compliments ('you are so smart and kind, you are
my wonder woman') and this will hopefully get her to want to reward
you with sex (or as women sometimes prefer, 'love making').
Have you never heard the expression "women fuck to cuddle, men cuddle to
fuck"?
Keep that in mind at all times and follow through with your romantic promises,
foot rubs get all women horney! Just don't slack off, do it for at least 20
minutes, in a candle lit room, with a glass of wine at hand, it should work!
By the way, most women don't get turned on by x-rated pic's, it takes more
than a visual to get us going AND you should be happy
that she says she is "not interested in sex at all when you aren't around", it
would be hell if she was gaggin' for it while you were away..the UPS man would be having all
the fun.

April 12, 2006April 29, 2014

World Wide Massage (for everyone)

“Someday we will be famous and rich and get a massage from you”

This is just one version of the silly myths about my massage business. One doesn’t have to be rich OR famous to get a kick-ass, deep tissue and/or relaxing massage to soothe your mind, body and soul.

“Normal person getting massage by Dr. Dot ^

I have massage assistants all over the world and we have good prices. If you come to the Dr. Dot assistant closest to you, it will be cheaper then having them come to you. Having a massage in your home naturally cost more, this isn’t Domino’s pizza ok?

If you want a rub down, just let me know. If you happen to live in NYC or NJ I could probably massage you myself, but if not, one of my tried and tested and very much trusted massage assistants will sort you out.

Click HERE to see my assistants and scroll lightly over the flag next to their name to find out their location…

I have them in the following locations:

Helsinki, Hartford, Berlin, NJ. NY, VA, MD, Philly-PA, FLA (Miami and Tampa), Boston, All over CT, Dallas, Hamburg, Frankfurt, Zurich, London, Birmingham, Glasgow, Dublin, LA (and OC), Paris, Vancouver, Dallas, Albuquerque, Toronto and the list keeps growing.

“You don’t have to be a star baby”

March 31, 2006

Ask Dr. Dot

Q.
Please help me. I am 39 yrs and I have been married since I was 22. My husband cheated
18 yrs. ago, and 3 yrs. ago. He set up a meeting via Internet with a woman..That
woman was me! (he didn't know it). He seeks "relief" with porno and live
Internet chats. A while ago I came home to
find him with his pants down on line-live.

This has all devastated me. Our sex
life is horrible. Perhaps 7 times last year. He blames me for his behavior and
our lack of sex. He is partially right. I am a typical woman with emotional
needs-when emotional intimacy is lacking-I can not have sex-if so, I feel
used.
This porno has been an issue almost from the start of marriage. At first,
being young I was devastated-but learned to understand the testosterone beast. I
do watch it with him and enjoy it. The live chat thing has been addressed, and
I've many times expressed my insecurities and he "stops"-only for it to show it's ugly
face again later. He has recently told me that he
masturbates after we have sex-thinking of the sex we just shared. I feel like
a failure-I feel like I will never be enough for him.I still love
him and other then these sex issues, he is an honorable man and truly a
devoted father, keen business man and great friend. I don't
want to leave, but I feel that it is the only thing to do.
I deserve better, and so does he. I just don't know how to leave, it never
seems like a good time to break up our family.
I am graduating college next month and my husband just started his own
business-these things were our life's goals. Funny, we're accomplishing them
and I feel like it's over-I feel like my best friend died.
When I tell him he hurts my feelings when he does the live-on-line chats, he
says he knows it will hurt me but that he
needs the "release"-this tells me that one day that release could be a woman.
That is something I do not want to be around for.
Pissed off Pat

A.

You say he is an 'honorable man' and 'devoted father & friend' and you still love him, so
why even think of leaving him? Bruce Springsteen sings "every body's got a
hungry heart" and he ain't lyin'. Even if you broke up your family and found
another man, the next man will probably watch porn secretly as well. Even if
you watch it with them, they sometimes want to watch it alone, secretly. As we all
know, forbidden things taste the best! Stop taking his naughty side so seriously.
The more you freak out about it, the more he will do it. If he is treating you good,
that is all that matters! You can NEVER control what another person does and why
would you want to?

If he is blatantly cheating and throwing it in your face, then you
should consider leaving him, but it seems you are hunting for clues and spying on
him (setting up traps for him on-line- tsk tsk!), which
means you have WAY too much free time on your hands and are looking for evidence that
he doesn't love you. You have been together so long, it's only natural to have sexual
fantasies about others and porn makes it easier. If I were you I would concentrate on your
career and kids.
When he wants to show you love, welcome it with open arms. When he wants alone
time with his cock, find something else to do. It doesn't mean he doesn't want you or
love you, it doesn't mean he will soon cheat on you, it means he wants to have a wank, plain and simple!

Because of my heart being walked on by a self-centered piece of human shit
in woman form almost a year ago, I feel I am unable to fall in love with
anyone. I see women, I want them, I take them, they give themselves to me,
and it makes me a great big man slut. I get laid so much it's beyond
comprehension, and it's fun. Nice and empty fun. But for whatever reason I
feel as though women are motivated by money – that basically without money I
would never be getting laid at all – and that sort of makes me the
forever-John and the women I meet, all of them, forever-whores. Pretty
fucked up perception and I don't want it anymore. I want to believe in LOVE
again. How? Help.

Bitter Bob

I am wondering how these "money motivated whores" even know your financial
status? You must flash and flaunt it otherwise they wouldn't know you have it.
You have a catch 22 vicious circle on your hands/heart/genitals. You get laid
because of your money, then loathe the women because they want you for your
money (rock stars have the same dilemma… they get laid thanks to their
status, but sometimes feel empty because they are aware of that, then numb their pain
with either drugs, alcohol or yet more easy meat).
Just as men rubber neck at young, perky breasts, a tiny waist and child
bearing sexy hips, women look for security, which is measured by money.
Most of the time they subconsciously gravitate towards successful men as they
want that safe nest to bare children, so it's USUALLY not an evil motivation,
it's human nature, just like in the wild, the female mates with the strongest male,
you can't bash them for this and you certainly can't change it. What you can
change is yourself and how you court the opposite sex.
Try meeting women who aren't in the VIP bars, clubs and restaurants, try using
your charm and humor to attract women, perhaps in the park, dance classes,
gyms, etc.ALSO, sometimes going for the hottest, most gorgeous chick is the
problem.
You may want to lower your standards a bit, try a cute but chubby woman, you
get my drift.
The tall, slender, hot women KNOW they are fiercely sought after and they
usually go for the richest or strongest one they can find. Chubby plain jane types try much harder and will
appreciate you more. (Have you seen Steve Martin's "The Man with Two Brains"? If not, it's a MUST
SEE!).

Never pull out your trump card by telling them your financial status
or even flashing that Rolex, then you will never know if they want you or
your security.
Haven't you seen Eddie Murphy's "Coming to America"? If not, rent it.
True love does exist, but you have to play the game of love with patients, it
doesn't happen over night. You have to love yourself and I mean really love
being you, before another person can. The survival of the fittest routine is
even more extreme in big cities, so you have to use your wits when hunting
down the heart of gold you yearn for. I feel for you and hope you find your true love.
x Dr. Dot

March 24, 2006

Ask Dr. Dot

I have been dating this chick for over 6 months now, and she is always talking about having my baby, but I am only 26 and she is 24, I told her it's too soon for me, I want to sew my wild oats. I do care for her and love fucking her, but never wanted her to get pregnant. She always told me she takes her birth control pills, so I never used a condom with her, now she is 4 months pregnant and refuses to get rid of it. I told her I will NOT marry her or even live with her. I feel trapped and angry as hell. She tries to make me feel guilty and wants me to be only with her. Pulling my hairs out here Dr. Dot, please help, give me advice.

Balls in a vice, Vinnie

Lets get one thing straight, if you don't want offspring and/or diseases, always use condoms.

You can't blame it ALL on her. But now you have this situation on your hands, so "should've, would've, could've's" are useless. You did the right thing by telling her where you stand, you shouldn't marry or co-habitate out of pressure and guilt. Be as kind to her as possible without leading her on and tell her you will be a good father, friend and support her and your child the best you can, that's all you can do. You live and learn, you screw and reproduce.. Try to see the positive side of it, she is bearing your child, a gift that lasts forever. Just try not to piss her off.

Dr. Dot,

This weekend I am planning on driving up to my boyfriend's house to see him. I want to surprise him with something new in bed, but don't know what to do……do you have any suggestions that won't cost me an arm and a leg??? (I am a poor college chick.) I am willing to do almost anything in bed, but have no idea what "new" thing to do to him.

Clueless in Jersey

Dear Clueless,

First, your shopping list: A cheesy, inexpensive table cloth made of soft plastic, the 99 cent ones you can get at Walmart for picnic tables. Then you need a few bananas, sugar free whipped cream, sugar free chocolate syrup (both can be found in the diabetic section of your grocery store) and some cherry's (either fresh ones or those freaky neon red ones), and some chocolate or rainbow sprinkles/shots/jimmy's whatever the hell you call them in your area for the finishing touch.

If you haven't guessed by now, YOU will be HIS Banana Split.

For a dramatic effect, shave your pussy nice and smooth for him and walk into the room wearing just a long coat, belted tightly so he can't see what's under (and sexy shoes/boots). With a very confident and sexy look on your face, hand him the bag of goodies and tell him to look inside for his surprise.

He will no doubt be like "eh?", that's when you take off your coat and say "Make me into a Banana Split". He should slice the bananas in half first of all, while you lay out the plastic "sheet". Lie down naked let him decorate you with the goodies.

Don't worry about the mess, just let him go wild and decorate you and then lick it off of you, don't spoil the mood by whining about your hair, etc. The reason the sweets have to be sugar free, is to avoid the worst yeast infection known to man-kind. In fact, the most expensive part of this surprise, may be the cream you will need for your snatch if any sugar gets in there, hence the sugar-free grub. This is a surprise that he shall never forget and it makes a great conversation piece the next day/week at work.

February 7, 2006

Open minded (or just plain naughty?)

I was walking around Berlin the other day and couldn't believe my eyes. You know they take this open mindedness a bit too far sometimes, I mean, just look at some of the Architecture….

But then again, my blog is sometimes too "open minded" as well…