In your last column, you told a man he could improve his penis strength and size by "using it", you said the penis had muscle. Oh my god, Muscle in penile tissue?—and you are supposed to be a sex expert? The only muscle that I am aware of is the one between your ears. Get a real job where you wont misinform people about important health issues.. Of course,the idiot that posed the question is but one step above you.
Amply endowed
A.
I don't normally answer already answered questions, but Mr. "Amply Endowed" (all the blood that should be in your brain is obviously in your "ample" appendage), you've irritated me like a fucking rash. You seem to be "unaware" of that giant tool you have. There are a few muscles in the cock, one is called the Pubo Coccygeal (PC), that helps maintain an erection and can control premature ejaculation. The width of the penis is determined by two others; the Ischio Cavernous (IC) and Bulbo Cavernous (BC). These two sheets of voluntary muscle wrap around the shaft of the penis like the belts on a radial tire. When pumped and contracted they give added rigidity and thickness to the shaft. As with any of the voluntary muscles, these can be exercised and both their strength and size improved. Like I said " the more you use it the bigger and stronger it gets". Now, kiss my ass, wanker and stop whining about advice you get for FREE. ps. Since when is the size of a man's cock an "important health issue"?
Q.
I am seeing a married man since 1 year, he often comes to me for sex. I love him deeply and love our sex. I often wonder if he getting any at home from his wife and/or if I am his only Mistress. He says she never fucks him and yet he takes ages to come. What's wrong with this picture? How can I find out if I am the only one, or at least the only OTHER one?
Suspicious Sally
< Take 'em off Bitch!
A.
You can't gauge how often a man is "getting sex" by how fast he shoots his load. He could be wanking several times a day but no intercourse, which could make him last a bit longer, or have a few different women, you will never know. He cheats on his wife, chances of him being true to you are slim, take off your rose colored glasses so you can see that trying to find out where you stand is a huge waste of time. You can't count on or make demands on a borrowed man.
Q.
I have a boyfriend who is incredibly small, I want to break up with him because I can't feel him when we have sex, so how do i do it without being horrible. ….'Don't want no short dick man–Mandy'
^ NOT the right way to let him down easy
A.
First let me tell you how to avoid this dilemma in the future. After you've kissed for a while, give his cock a good squeeze. If he is either too big *sigh* or too small, slowly end the make out session and tell him things are moving too fast, you have to go. Now, to let the poor fella down gently, tell him you decided you want to be single again, or your ex has won you back. The BEST way to get rid of any man without hurting his feelings is to tell him "I'm tired of sex; I don't just want it anymore."
Q.
My girlfriend (of 8 months) just told me she is pregnant, even though she was on the pill. She claims the anti-biotics she was taking are the reason the pill didn't work. I am freaked out and want to know if this could be true or did she do this on purpose?
Petrified Pete
A.
It is true, taking certain antibiotics make the pill less effective. Doubting her about this is not a good idea, all you can do is politely ask her what she plans to do and to avoid this situation in the future, remember, No Glove, No Love.
We did LOADS of publicity stuff for our first gig in Berlin. Lot's of TV spots (some were dumb, they had me massage random people on the street in front of the club) but hey, sometimes you have to sing for your supper. That's Enno on the right. He is almost impossible to photograph, moves around so much.
Funny thing is, Sansi ^ (guy with hat and sun glasses) is our drummer, but they had him play guitar for this one TV spot. Sansi doing what he does best at our gig ^
; < I was surprised how packed our gig was
From left to right ^ Vitri, Enno, me, Frank (bass), Sansi (hidden) and Thimo on guitar. ^Me with sexy groupies/dancers. I was singing Highway to Hell
The first two rows were just press. They stayed the WHOLE show. I poured a whole bottle of water over my head. I was like "fuck it, I'm wet anyways, let's just go for it".
I started with a Frank Zappa t-shirt ^ (this was made by a friend called Ines especially for me) then I changed into a Motorhead shirt that Phil (from Motorhead) gave me. I ripped it up right before show time. Then at the end of the show I put an Aerosmith shirt on, that was customized by Ines. I decided to just sing barefoot the whole time and I was afraid of getting electrocuted since I poured all that water on my head and there were wires and cables all around my feet, but hey, I'm still alive.
See that cutie in the shiny black rubber skirt? That is Vitri, my back up singer. Jasmine in the crowd ^ watching me belt out some Janis
< From L to R: Enno, Vitri, me, Thimo
^ The girls in action ^ ANOTHER change of clothes (fuck, I'm worse than Cher!
Not sure if you saw our Flyer but we had a Groupie Application form on the back. Jaeger Meister saw our flyer, found the idea amazing and said they will watch our show and they want to see how we do the Groupie competition. So what started out as just a joke, actually turned into a real Groupie contest. I had some of the girls come on stage and show their stuff. Literally. Our drummer, Sansi, got a lap dance while he played.
Christy came from far away to be there, I was really grateful. ^She shared her tattoo with the crowd and they went WILD!
^ Shai and Danielle were part of the groupie game, and made the after show party in our dressing room a men magnet.^ Christy with her brews
< Um, this fella LOVES feet.
I gave Danielle (who danced for me in our version of HOT LEGS) a nice foot rub after the show ^
I have been to WELL over 3,000 shows so far and I have to say, our dressing room party was one of the best I have ever seen. Not just saying that, it really ROCKED! It was packed until 6:30 am!! A few famous German actors popped in and there were loads of Brits raising HELL all night long. The venue is called "White Trash" and they loved us so much they asked us to play once a month starting in September. Bitchfest will play the first Wednesday of every month from Sept 6th on. I will be doing A LOT of flying back and forth from NYC to Berlin from now on.
< Finally some male groupies for us!
Like I said, our dressing room was PACKED! These lads kept pounding the SHIT out of the ceiling all night, singing soccer chants (yay!)
I have written a few songs for Bitchfest. I am good with words, but can't get a melody going. I guess I am too intimidated by my musical heros. I mean, how the fuck can you top
"the long and winding road"? . I come up with lyrics everyday, then send them to my band, and then they put them to melodies. Here is one song I wrote called "Adios Hedgehog" let me know what you think about it. I feel with a name like BITCHFEST I am allowed to vent and bitch in my songs if I want. We are not the Bay City Rollers ok?
Hey Mr. Bait and Switch, you psycho son of a bitch, you are shorter than me, that just won't do. Only thing you could do was massage and screw, and that's just 'cause I taught you to.
Only takes the girls weeks to escape from you. Locking them in your house just won't do. I hope when you hear this song you start to shake and bite what's left of your nails, get nervous like you do.
*chorus: I'm glad it's over, finally sober, not drunk on your lies anymore This parting has surely inspired, you say there are ten men at my door? Send one home, I'm tired
Your music bores, so save your pennies for the whores. Such a fibber, pretentious Indian giver,
Remember this sound: What goes around, comes around, you vicious little troll.
Goodbye insecure tiny scammer, I hope they toss you in the slammer"
*chorus: Move on shorty, it's over, won't take your stalkin' anymore This parting has surely inspired, you say there are ten men at my door? Send one home, I'm tired
A few days after my gig, I got into the Football mood (soccer for you yanks) and went out partying big time. I passed by this bar on Oreinienburger strasse in Berlin
and saw everyone toking off this massive pipe and had a go. It's NOT grass, it's scented tobacco so I spat it out right away, ew! It is a very popular thing here to toke for hours off of these
"Shisha" pipes, the bars and cafes hand them out, it does smell better than cigarettes.
John from Belfast, me, and Rory enjoy a crowded as FUCK Ku'damm after German just won a world cup game. Here were are again raising hell ^
Christy took this ^ shot of me spitting off a very high balcony at Tacheles < click to see picture
Next day Christy and I headed to Fan Mile to watch England play against Portugal ^ (photo taken by Rory)
We were GUTTED when England lost. I feel they had no chance with an Argentinian ref, but what's done is done. We got TONS of shit from German fans the
rest of the night. They were hissing and boooing at us and telling us "Englanders" to go home. Even though we aren't English, I still got defensive at the seemingly
racial tension going on. One guy even tried to start a fight over our English shirts. 'Hello, calm the fuck down', was my attitude for the rest of the weekend to say the least.
Rory's photo of me supporting England ^ the final world cup game when Italy won ^
^ Rory took some amazing pictures of the whole world cup Berliner scene, thanks for letting me use them for my blog 🙂
Total bullshit. An Argentinian referee (everyone knows they HATE the English) gets rid of Rooney; Beckham was down (got stomped on by Portugal's Nuno Valente…
THEN the penalty goal was in, but the ref said, well, I wasn't ready, so it didn't count. I feel it was unfair. England should have won. Can you say 'conspiracy'?… 🙁
Finally we have help in Italy. I am so happy to introduce Melissa, our right hand wo-"man" in Rome. Why does it take so long to get Dr. Dot massage assistants all over the world? Because I insist on quality and that means they have to be tested/auditioned by me and my team in order to make the grade. I wouldn't suggest a restaurant to you without having tried it myself, nor would I send a massage therapist to work on you without having them auditioned. Quality, not quantity, that's what our team is about. Read about Melissa (and see her picture) below. If you are heading to Rome, let me know, we will set up your massage appointment.
Dr. Dot
ps. Melissa's first mission for the Dr. Dot team was to massage Roger Waters in Rome. Now that's a great first mission.
My name is Melissa and I was born in the states but have been living in Italy since 2005. I graduated from the University of South Florida in Tampa with a degree in dance performance and have been dancing professionally for several years now in the States and Italy. Being a dancer, I understand how important it is to keep the body healthy physically and mentally, seeing injuries occur on a regular basis including myself. For this I decided to enter into massage, to be able to help those around me and really to get a better understanding of how the body functions. I attended Massage Therapy School in Florida and received my license specializing in Sports massage and have been working with dancers, other artists, and the general public, privately and in centers since 2004. I incorporate several different modalities into my massage depending on the needs of the client; from a more sports/rehabilitative approach to a general Swedish relaxation massage. I fee l very fortunate to have the opportunity to work with Dr. Dot, her team, and all the artists who come through doing what they do. Truly beautiful.
Me and my boyfriend are both rather young. We have just started watching porn together and it is rather awkward just sitting there watching it, I mean, what does one normally do? It feels odd how we both just sit there in silence.
Wondering Wanda
A.
Try doing it doggy style while you both watch your naughty film or lie on your back while he munches on you (you can have your head hanging over the bed and watch watch upside down or look to the side). When guys watch porn together, they just sit there in silence, but when a couple watches it, you are supposed to get busy. Don't ask him, just get naked and into position, he will follow your lead.
Q.
I've been with my boyfriend 10 months now, we are very sexually active and experiment quite alot. He's made me cum through my clitoris, however he has never made me have a vaginal orgasm at all, I have also tried to find my g spot myself, they say it is meant tho be about 2 or 3 inches inside you, however i cannot find anything there at all, i am getting very upset and annoyed by this and I am wondering if it is possible that some women cannot have a vaginal orgasm at all, please help me because it is becoming a major concern of mine, thanks Clity Kate
A.
First of all, this G-spot bullshit is highly overrated. When one is looking for mine, it just makes me have to piss. Ditto with all of my gal pals. The clit is like a tiny penis, in fact, some will argue that it IS a tiny penis that just never grew. SO you have to treat it similar to a penis. Could you make a man cum just by touching his balls? Highly unlikely. One of you would have to touch his cock to get him to cum. Same with the clit. He can lick your clit or slide against it while you two are shagging to get you to cum. Stop worrying so much about a 'vaginal orgasm' or your mysterious G-spot and just enjoy the fact that he can make you cum. I know many women who can't cum at all, so count your blessings.
Q.
My boyfriend of 6 years has never liked kissing or giving oral sex.. also the frequency is about every 12 days… he is 51, and all his other girlfriends have complained about the same issues.. is he gay? Curious Carol
A.
Honey, if you have been dating him for 6 years and still don't know if he is gay, you have serious problems. Gay men don't date women first of all. They like cock. Did you and the other girlfriends stop to think that maybe he is just a man who doesn't like to suck face/pussy? Kissing is extremely intimate as is oral sex. Some people are just not that deep. Like it or leave it.
Q.
I am 22 and my girlfriend is 21,and she always wants to suck my dick.That's fine but she always bites it. What would you do to stop this?
crazycasey
A.
Put a bunch of coins in a tin can and the next time she blows you and her fangs dig in, shake the can aggressively. Dog trainers use this tactic but I am sure it will work for your toothy gal. Tell her to roll her lips over her teeth, like she has no teeth, just gums (like that old lady in the film 'King Pin') and tell her not to let her teeth touch your willy. Explain to her that it's is like being in heaven and hell at the same time.
^ Sex with teeth = Heaven and Hell
Q.
I have been seeing this guy for three months now… horizontally we are a great match and have a lot of fun… vertically, I unfortunately am finding him more and more boring… and he seems to have fallen in love with me… how do I deal with this situation without breaking his heart??? Bored Bonnie
A.
Why not enjoy the horizontal part with him as much as you can and when you are done tell him you have things to do. Keeping busy is good for the soul, so is great sex. It is hard to find someone who is perfect for you in every category. Be honest with him and tell him you love having sex with him but that's about it. Some men don't mind being on call just for sex. Relying on someone to entertain you is ridiculous. Also, in this day and age, if you are up front about wanting to see other people and practicing safe sex, it's not frowned upon to date more than one person (one who is fun, one who is good in bed, one who spoils you, etc). Besides, there is no "Mr. Right" there is only "Mr. Right-NOW".
Sometimes it’s hard for me to express in words the excitement of touching certain people. This doesn’t happen often. Last week, June 8th and 9th to be exact I was in heaven and it has taken me a few days to get my feet back on the ground. For some it may be hard to grasp being so excited about a musician, but I could tell you, it would be the same for a boxer to win a match, a soccer team to win the world cup, you get my drift.
I have met Roger Waters several times over the years and each time I am over the moon with glee. He has always been an object of my desire since the first time I heard his music. The fondness grew stronger when I first laid eyes on him in the film the Wall when I was in the 7th grade. Such a talented mastermind and so attractive and on top of that, he is the coolest. If you have any doubts, please watch the film “Pink Floyd: LIVE AT POMPEII” and after you watch it, think of me saying “I told you so”.
It may sound odd to some but for me, Roger is the UK version of Zappa, but probably just to me. His lyrics are so deep, so meaningful, they teach. Waters and Zappa wrote lyrics that I studied more than any subject in school. Ditto with the Beatles, but Waters (as well as Zappa) did many concept albums and they are not just entertaining, they really changed my way of looking at life. Animals, Dark Side of the Moon and The Pro’s and Cons of Hitchhiking are 3 albums I could not live without. I know, sounds obsessive, but we all have our cravings.
Roger wrote 98% of all Pink Floyd lyrics and music, (for example, Roger wrote the Wall and The Pro’s and Cons ALONE, and then presented them to the rest of the band and said “I will do one of these as a solo project, which one would you all like to do as a group. They chose the Wall. The Pro’s and Con’s is just as good, if not better, than the Wall. “Reg” is beyond AWESOME. He IS Pink Floyd in my opinion. I can not go see “Pink Floyd” if Roger isn’t there. I have videos of Floyd when Gilmour wasn’t even in the band. I do love Gilmour and the rest of the band, but I am a Roger fan and stand by that 100 %. Once in 1987, Roger was on tour and so were Pink Floyd. In Providence, RI, “Pink Floyd” (without Roger!) played and the very next day, Roger played ( I went to the show). There were so many fools walking around wearing shirts that said “Fuck Roger” I wanted to hurl! They bought them at the Pink Floyd show and they were black with the same writing as there is on the Wall album. How tacky. Enough ass kissing you say? Bollocks, don’t get me started, I could go on and on about “Reg” (Roger’s nickname). My 4 musical favorites are Beatles, Zappa, Floyd and the Stones; sometimes it changes, as in, some months it’s Floyd, Beatles, Stones and Zappa, and other times it’s Zappa, Stones, Floyd, Beatles; know what I mean? Those are my top three, and just like you shouldn’t choose your favorite child, don’t press me to choose just one favorite. Although over the years I have sort of loved the Beatles way more than the Stones. Long story..
I remember driving around NH, in between Grateful Dead tours, with my younger brother and sister, CRANKING the cassette: Ummagumma. I made them listen to it repeatedly. Then it was onto Meddle, Pipers at the Gates of Dawn, Saucerful of Secrets, Obscured by Clouds, Relics, a Nice Pair, even Barretts INSECTS album. I raised my daughter on great music although I never played Zappa for her until she was 18. His lyrics are rated PG. heh heh.
Jasmine can play ‘Wish you were here’ and some Beatles tunes on her guitar, which is so satisfying to me.
I have seen over 3,000 shows now, all for free. The only time I have bought tickets was before I turned 15 and for a Roger Waters benefit show in 1990 here in Berlin, his WALL show and then again for the Zappa plays Zappa show and more recently the June 8th Roger Waters show here in Berlin. Those shows were so important to me, that I didn’t want to risk it, what if no one wanted a massage? I had to be sure we were getting in. I ended up getting backstage for Zappa plays Zappa and gave my tix away to Jasmine’s pal and luckily, the same happened at the Roger Waters show.
It was looking like Jasmine and I would just be in the audience to see the show, but in the last minute, I decided to just try- I called Simon, a tour manager turned friend, whom I have known for a few years now. He worked with Dave Gahan and I saw him backstage at Live 8 with Roger Waters. He called me and he said “Dot, where are you? Can’t believe we are in Berlin and you’re not backstage”.
Um, say no more, Jasmine and I grabbed a cab and were bouncing off the taxi walls with insane excitement. The taxi driver was about 70 years old and took the longest, slowest possible route which made me want to explode, but nevertheless, we got there as the show started as we ran towards the stage singing the first song “In the Flesh” out loud (all of the Germans were looking at us like WTF??!!), but we didn’t give a flying fuck.
I was wearing an English Football (er, soccer for you yanks) shirt and this made me the object of hateful glares all night from the German football fans. They kept saying to me in amusing English “You are VEARING zeeee VRONG SHIRT!”. heh heh, we’ll see mates, we’ll see.
Jasmine wanted to watch the show from the side, but I dragged her backstage as I wanted to thank Simon profusely for the backstage passes. He was super happy to see us and insisted we watch the show ON the stage in the VIP section. Jasmine was basically hyperventilating at this point from too much joy at once. She and I have watched Live at Pompeii an unhealthy amount of times and she has never seen Roger live before. *sigh*.
Simon bring us drinks on stage, hello, could he be any fucking nicer? Simon is the bomb!!!! ^
Please don’t read me the riot act here, yes, Jasmine had a beer. She will be 17 on Monday (June 19th) . Hello! They all start really young here in Europe, enjoying their beverages. If you try to prevent/forbid it, they just do it even more. I just go with the flow and trust her judgment.
The sound was amazing, I haven’t head such amazing sound quality since last years Live 8 when Pink Floyd reformed.
Roger is a perfectionist and I am grateful for that. My ears were smiling all night long. Jasmine started to weep during Wish you Were Here. You know how certain songs remind you of a certain person/time, well, that song had a lot of folks bleary eyed. I love how Roger goes to the edge of the stage and sings, even when he isn’t in front of a mic. I told him that I like that and he said he likes to encourage people to sing along and it works. The whole place seemed to know every word to every song, even though English isn’t their mother tongue.
^ Has been playing guitar for Roger for ages. Mr. Andy Fairweather Lowe, the Great!
I am wearing the RIGHT shirt! ^
< Jasmine and I in heaven!
The set list ^ which Roger Signed the next day after his massage. So, I massaged Simon after the show and he said that Roger wanted a massage the next day at 6pm, You know I was there early, with bells on, so to speak. Simon brought me to Roger’s room to set up and get prepared for when Roger returned from Golfing. It was the first warm and sunny day in ages in Berlin, great for Golfing. Funny how so many rock stars go Golfing in Berlin (Alice Cooper is one of many).
The TV was on and the first game of the World Cup was on. Germany vs Costa Rica (Germany won that game 4 – 2 by the way). Roger arrived and was in a great mood. He remembered me and was really sweet. I started his massage with my special invention (started doing this method when I was 5 years old on my mom) the “Bite Method massage”. He was keeping one eye on the game most of the time and he loved the massage. I was paid in advance for 90 minutes but I massaged him for 2 and a half hours ( I was making it last as long as possible
We had some small talk, I usually don’t speak during a massage, but we had tiny breaks to have a sip of water etc, and I asked him why he has never done “Across the Universe” live. He didnt recall ever doing that song and I said “I have it on video, you and Andy Fairweather Lowe on guitar”. “ah yes”, then he remembered. He said that he never thought about doing it live, but hey, if he ever does, feel free to thank me. He does an AMAZING version of that song. I asked him about the gorgeous turquoise/silver ring on his right hand. He said he has had it on since 1969. He banged it once and it bent and he can’t get it off. I found that to be really cute. By the way, no need to ask me “Did you ask him if Pink Floyd will ever get back together” because I would NEVER fucking ask him that stupid question. Don’t ask Sting about the Police; Eric about Cream and don’t ask Roger about Pink Floyd, it’s insulting and fucking annoying.
I love his work with Pink Floyd but I also love all of his solo albums, so we talked about those instead. I asked him why there is no dvd for the Pro’s and Con’s tour, He said they didn’t video tape that tour or Radio Kaos tour either. I find that VERY unfortunate. I own the “In the Flesh” dvd, it’s from Roger’s 2002 solor tour, it has Doyle Bramhall on guitar and it fucking ROCKS!!!! If you don’t have it yet, I highly recommend it. I have two copies, one for my NYC place and one for my Berlin place. Can’t be without that. Doyle isn’t on this tour, he is cheating on Roger with Eric Clapton (so all is forgiven). Clapton played the night before here in Berlin, so Roger and Doyle were up most of the night chatting and having a drink or two. Roger waited as long as he could for Eric to return from a recording studio, but he had to hit the hay eventually and they missed each other by minutes. Clapton played guitar on Rogers ‘Pro’s and Cons of Hitchhiking’ album, oh GOD, it’s AMAZING!!!
Note: I asked Roger (as I do every musician I massage) what he thought of Zappa. He said ” I used to hang around Frank a lot in the 60’s and even stay at his house for a long while, and ended up breaking Suzy Cream-cheese’s heart, unforunately.” He almost forgot about jamming with Frank until I reminded him. He said “are you sure?” Yes, I am very very sure:
Pink Floyd jamming with Frank Zappa ^
< THE ring
Rubbing Roger’s feet ( me= happy)
Roger said, even though there was no live footage for the Pros and Cons tour, he had JUST received a dvd the day before of never before seen videos he made back in the day for the Pros and Cons Album, Radio Kaos and even Amused to Death (“What God wants, God gets” with Jeff Beck on Guitar).
He said “after the massage you can see them if you like”. Uh, ya think? YAY! He set up the videos on his lap top for me to watch and HE put the head phones on me and headed for the shower. I sat there for almost 30 minutes with my jaw open, one constant “WOW”. The videos he made simply MUST be released. I told him all of his fans would buy them. He seemed open for comments/feedback. Looking into his eyes is so exciting, I am still smiling. Bad news is, he is engaged and very much in love. I told him I find that to be a pain in the ass and extremely unfair. He is ALWAYS taken. I told him him it’s not fair and he should give other girls, like me for example a chance. He just grinned, never said a word when I was talking that shit. I did tell him his ass was in GREAT shape and he is still HOT. Again, just a grin
Face the facts, I have the balls to say what you want to say, it’s as simple as that. heh heh. Jasmine didn’t make it to school that day (day after the show), we both slept until 2pm (already has those rock star habits). I wrote her yet another rock and roll excuse note “sorry, Roger Waters was in town”. The last one was “Zappa plays Zappa was in town”. Her home room teacher smiled and said “Jasmine, you are lucky I am your homeroom teacher. Tell your Mom I am jealous”.
She made an incredible portrait of Roger and I brought it for him to sign. He was really flattered and signed it “To Jasmine, love Roger”. She is gloating.
^ This is now one of my favorite photographs. He is smiling at me. Not the camera. I can die peacefully now.
I started dating a younger guy, he is 26 and I am 30. We decided to see each other occasional for only sexual activities. I really like him because he is a very handsome man. The first time we made love, it took only 2 minutes for him to cum. The second time the same thing and his penis is only about 5 inches long. Why he does cum so quickly??? This doesn't give me a chance to cum too….please answer! but he becomes erect so quickly with me…no problem on that side. PS: It is because his penis is not bigger or he doesn't like me?
A.
Sounds like he cums so quickly because he doesn't care about you, just his little cock. The size of his penis has nothing to do with his stamina. Obviously he likes you a little bit otherwise he wouldn't be dogging you. He is young and selfish. Make him lick you until you cum, then let him fuck you, get your priorities straight.
Q.
My wife and i have been together since 1989. we were having wild hot sex almost every night . She would always cum a couple of times before i'd fill her up.Then last year i found that i did not feel as horny around her (she looks great and has a firm body) . seems that i always have to be the one to make the first move and if i don't initiate sex then there probably wont be any. I am becoming flustered by always having to be the ONE start the ball rolling and sometimes when were having sex its like ho-hum didely dum .but whats worse is that now my cock hardly ever gets real hard and alot of the time it goes soft long before either of us are pleasured . and the more i thing about the fact that it may go soft … the faster it happens . this has become an obsession with me now . I ve got Viagra from my Doctor but with a small dose my cock still went soft … any ideas on how help me regain my stiffness would be greatly appreciated
Big Softie
A.
Notice how the sperm race towards the egg? They fight to be the first one to the egg. In my opinion, sex is always best when the man initiates the sex. Sure it's hot once in a while when your lady shows you she is hot and ready, but if she was the one usually starting the romp, wouldn't you feel more feminine? How strange would it be for the egg to suddenly chase after the sperm? I doubt your problem has to do with the fact that she isn't asking for sex, I think it's more that you are getting bored and worrying that a mid-life crisis/dry spell is heading your way. I am against pill popping, even though I am aware millions make a living cramming pills down peoples throats. You have two separate problems, the first being your sex life has become tedious and boring. This happens to most couples, sadly. I feel that sleeping apart keeps passion alive. Sleeping next to your partner makes them so familiar it can be hard to lust after them. All the tossing and turning and smelling each others farts can turn any hot romance into a predictable hell. Try sleeping separately once in a while (I prefer ALWAYS sleeping apart, but that's just my twisted mind). Make sure you are having alone time with you and your best friend: your cock. Make sure you two have naughty sessions to remind you who's really in charge. As far as getting soft, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it does come with age. You can try to prevent it by avoiding fluoride ( tap water/tooth paste) because I think it's a hard-on killer (it can't just be a coincidence that men born and raised in places that have fluoride in their drinking water have trouble with erections but have nice teeth, where as in Europe, etc, they have crappy teeth because there is no fluoride in their water, but have NO problem getting and staying hard). You two could also try a change of scenery, fucking in the same old bed time after time will make fantasy and passion difficult.
Q.
Even though it's over between me and my long term boyfriend (7 years) I am still obsessing about him. I always imagine how it looks when he fucks another girl. I put them into every position and worry if she is better in bed than I was for him. I always worry if he still loves me or if we will ever get back together. I wonder about him so much that I can't even sleep anymore. My girlfriends are tired of hearing it, so I am all alone with this problem. If you could just tell me how to get over someone, how to stop thinking about someone, maybe that would help.
Not over him Nat
A.
Sounds like someone has too much free time on their hands. Get busy, get your life back, in other words, get a life.What will be, will be. You can't make someone love you or come back to you. If it's meant to be that you two reconcile, it will happen, but sitting around sweating him will not change anything, it will simply waste time. Before my Grandmother, DOT senior died, she told me "if you have one foot in the past and one in the future, your legs will be wide apart shitting all over today." Stressing over what was or what will be is actually ruining your present life and that's all we really have so cheer up, this isn't a rehearsal, it's the real deal, we only live once.
My girlfriend keeps accusing me of cheating, even though I'm not. I want to know how I can stop her from this insulting behavior. Sometimes I work late or go for a few brews with my friends, and this prompts a huge amount of questioning and blaming. I love her madly but this has got to stop or I'm history.
A.
Perhaps you should open your eyes a bit more as to what she's up to, why she's so quick to blame. The next time she throws accusations your way, say "Just like a thief lives in fear of someone stealing from them, a cheater is always afraid their partner is cheating on them, is that why you keep accusing me?". This should shut her up. If you really are being faithful and she won't let up, warn her once, then walk.
Q.
I have a confession to make, I have been faking orgasms with my boyfriend and I want to come clean. I am 34 and he is 27, we have been together for 2 years and he has never made me cum but I fake it so well, he thinks I cum every time. It started out harmlessly, I just faked the orgasm because he was working so hard at it and I was getting tired. Now it's a game I have to keep up and I am getting sick of it. I can make myself cum, but he can't. Please throw me a bone.
Faking Fran
A.
Faking an orgasm is like bombing for peace, or fucking for virginity. It's the most ignorant thing one can do. Just be yourself and you can never go wrong. Telling him you have been faking it will surely end the relationship so if you want to save it, just stop faking it immediately and when he asks what's wrong, just tell him you are stressed/tired or you feel it's time to try new things in bed, then SHOW him how to make you really cum. Show him how YOU make yourself cum. If you really don't give a rat's ass about the relationship, tell him you have been faking, it will make you feel great to come clean but surely it will crush him and make you look like a lying cunt. Being brutally honest is empowering and can hurt others, but being too diplomatic and acting is far worse.
Q.
I have been "dating"(no sex yet , well maybe a little) a man whom I have had an incredible connection with . I hadn't been physically attracted at first but he made it clear he was and if we spent time together I would be too. He is an amazing man, kind, romantic, well respected ,very creative in many ,many ways (musician), treats me with great respect and appreciates the woman I am, we work well together, my affection did grow over time(about 9 months ) and now we are madly in love. The problem is he is a polygamist ( different than a swinger ) and of course a GEMINI . He is also Muslim ,very committed to his faith . Now when he first told me I thought no problem I was not attracted and we will have a great friendship, now that we are in love I have to decide to end it or continue, the thought of ending it breaks my heart . We have spent hours talking about his lifestyle and mine and I have come to understand the place his has and have come to accept it. I am very contemplative, intellectual person and have done a lot of reading on Islam and polygamy. He is very clear about his intentions to make me his 2nd wife (spiritual union before god , not a legal marriage) and despite my upbringing I am considering it on so many levels it feels right. He is not the player type , if I want to be with him I have to make a real commitment. He is planning a night out with his wife and I so we can meet each other. This will either snap me back into reality or be a pleasant surprise.
My question to you is :"Is it possible for a good descent man to want two wives? Is it also possible for a strong independent woman to truly accept this? Or am I compromising because I am so madly in love , have I been brainwashed? Willing Wanda A.
Most men find it hard to be physically true anyways, so what's the difference? (spare me the bitchy emails, I said "MOST") At least he's being honest about it. As in, "I am strong enough to care for more than one woman, and I want you to be one of them". Marrying him means you are cool with his ways and don't feel threatened. Nothing last forever anyways and we only live once. If you "marry" him and find out later it's not for you, just leave, as you said, it's not a legal marriage, just a spiritual one. No big deal. Take a chance, love is worth it. Live, Love, laugh and do like Janis Joplin says "get it while you can!"
I never cease to wonder at the constant chorus of females hammering home how important non penetrative clitoral stimulation is with the implication that straight copulation is totally uninteresting. I've even had a girlfriend memorably not bother to hide her own total ennuis when she deigned to consider normal coitus after she'd been serviced. I was grateful that your own contribution to this endless refrain was leavened by a reluctant quote from L'il Kim (If you ain't lickin' it, you ain't stickin' it). Why oh why then do vibrators exist? Where do they fit into the equation and could we not work out how to arrange for men to get their satisfaction at the same time as saving batteries?
A.
Ennius? Coitus? No wonder your girl wants to use a vibrator, she can't fucking understand you. Vibrators make you feel like you replaceable? That's how porn and a pet dog make most women feel now a days (men getting their unconditional love from their four legged friend and their sex from wanking off to porn). As far as I am concerned, dildos and vibrators are made for Lesbians who crave cock but loathe having sex with men and for 'visual pleasure' (she bends over, legs apart naked and inserts vibrator repeatedly while he watches from the side of the bed, slightly drooling, pleasuring himself). Well, that's all I use them for anyways…NOTHING beats the real thing my good man.
Another good use for Vibrators ^
Q.
I am dating a guy since 9 months and I really want out of the relationship. It has always been very stormy, but the sex is always hot. I want to leave him because he drinks and is unstable but every time I talk about wanting a change, he threatens to kill himself. How will I ever get out of this mess? I have the feeling he would really do it!!
In a rut with a nut
A.
Reminds me of a book I read called "If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet?".
You should write aletter to him telling him it would be worse for him if you stayed out of fear and sympathy than to end your love affair. Tell him you will be there for him as a friend, but you must move on as you have lost interest in being his lover. Make a couple copies of this letter and give one to his Mom, Dad or best friend, so he gets support and the others know what's going on. If he is too weak to handle that, it's not your fault or problem, sadly life is really survival of the fittest and you can't save everyone (that's my job) heh heh.
Q.
I'd like to know what constitutes big. My cock is 6 inches long when it's hard and pretty thick, no girl has complained, but I want your opinion please. Thick Nick
A. I am pretty sure that every man on earth has measured his cock at least once, but I have never gotten a ruler out to find out exactly how big a guys schlong is. Some may argue with my opinion, but if it reaches the navel button when it's hard, that's big enough, anything longer and it will be poking our delicate belongings. If you can't touch your index finger to your thumb when you have them around your cock, that my friend, is called paradise. That nasty rumor that size doesn't matter was made up by a man with a tiny cock. Size does matter, but what you lack in size you can make up for with your tongue and fingers. I wish I had enough free time to measure my body parts.
< Take 'em off Bitch!
< I was surprised how packed our gig was
< From L to R: Enno, Vitri, me, Thimo
< Um, this fella LOVES feet. 
< Finally some male groupies for us!
< Jasmine and I in heaven!
< THE ring
