Swamped
Having fun in NYC, but by that I mean, having fun working. I am so swamped I feel I will never get around to doing my France and Italy blog and now I have another Foreigner (the rock group) blog to do. LOTS going on. Penthouse Forum are so on the ball compared to the last news paper I wrote for here in NYC. They pay promptly, answer my emails promptly (and politely) and even sent me a dozen copies of the May 2008 issue that I am on the cover of. I opened it and found the BEST intro ever. My column feels at home. Love it! I scanned it in:
I massaged Kim Raver ( of the shows "24" and "Lipstick Jungle") again tonight- non stop massage for three hours. Wonderful lady. She can take as much pain as I can during a massage. Extreme deep tissue the whole time. Tough woman I tell ya. Funny how the women seem to be able to take more pain/pressure during the massage than men (apart from Harry Connick Junior who seems to be made of steel). My fingers are actually aching as I type this, THAT'S how strong the pressure was. Going to sleep it off
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Florence, Italy by Dr. Dot
I am so mad busy, I have to build this massive Italy blogs bit by bit. The videos take the most time, so here is the Florence video.. will upload pics and text later. I fly to NYC in a couple days, so the mad rush has begun. I will be back in Berlin, however, early June, for KISS!! They are so fun and I LOVE Gene's "family jewels" show which I get from iTunes. Sounds odd, but I behave a lot like Gene and share a lot of the same views he has. Work-o-holic who frowns upon the idea of Marriage. Go Gene! Anyhow, here's the vid..
The owner of the La Residenza del Proconsolo hotel asked to pose with me. He is as sweet as his hotel. AMAZING service and gorgeous rooms.
Help End A Bear Poaching Plague
America’s bears are facing a poaching plague. Increasing demand for traditional medicines using bear parts like gallbladders is fueling a lucrative black market — and poachers are targeting bears in the U.S.
Representatives Raul Grijalva (AZ) and John Campbell (CA) have introduced legislation that will help bears by banning the trade in gallbladders at the federal level. The Bear Protection Act will end a patchwork of state laws that create an enforcement nightmare and allows the illegal killing of bears to continue.
Tell your Representative to become a cosponsor of the Bear Protection Act today:
Click HERE please
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Dr. Dot the cover girl of Penthouse Forum May issue 2008
It hit newsstands two days ago, yet I can't find one.. my friends who are looking for a copy in the city say it's too dirty for normal magazine shops yet not dirty enough for dirty magazine shops..lol.. I am proud to have my column called "Calling Dr. Dot" (a nod to the Kiss song Calling Dr. Love) in Penthouse Forum. They do it the right way. Introducing their new columnist with a cover story and all 
yay! I know some will snicker and make comments like "that is so unethical to be a massage therapist AND *gasp* write about sex" oh fucking well. Your little secrets come out while you are at the hairdresser, and your BIG secrets come out during a massage. I got good at giving love advice over the years, due to all of my experiences and hearing other peoples experiences (hell, watching my Mother while growing up taught me enough to be a qualified sex therapist lol).
Anyhow, I am super proud to have my column in Penthouse Forum. Hope you pick up a copy and let me know what you think.. here is the cover so you can find it
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Monte Carlo and France (links to video material)
This ^ is the first part of the video material I filmed while recently in Monte Carlo and France. And this is Part 2:
Report: Swelling Hippie Herds Pose Threat To Delicate Freakosystem
WASHINGTON, DC–The indigenous North American hippie population has expanded to the point that its teeming herds are endangering the planet's fragile freakosystem, warned a Department of the Interior report released Monday.
Earth In Crisis: An Onion Special Report
According to the report, over the past 20 years, the wide-ranging, largely migratory hippies have more than tripled in population, insidiously infiltrating nearly every other U.S. subculture while venturing far beyond their natural Vermont and Colorado habitats.
"Due to the species' lack of predators, willingness to live almost anywhere and rabbit-like breeding habits, the hippie has become the most prevalent feature on the American countercultural landscape," Secretary of the Interior Bruce Babbitt said. "If we do not soon find a way to thin their herds, they will overwhelm every other subculture on the continent, potentially leading to freakological disaster on a mass global scale."
A herd of hippies grazes in a field near Burlington, VT.
Experts say the hippie-related environmental damage has largely been the result of their sheer numbers. Long regarded as a mere nuisance species, the hippies have grown over the past 10 years into one of the most populous in North America, numbering close to 20 million. Further, because of the hippie herds' normal daily cycle of waking, bongo-playing and large-scale grass consumption, followed by a brief period of torpor and then aggressive nutritive replenishment, their freakological impact is enormous.
"Each summer, the hippie herds migrate north to Boulder, wiping out 80 to 90 percent of the hummus supply of the regions through which they pass," National Park Service director Roger Kennedy said. "In certain parts of Colorado, by mid-August, the patchouli reservoirs are entirely drained."
The burgeoning herds–identifiable by their dreadlocked hair, hemp jewelry and distinctive tie-dyed markings–have greatly affected the quality of life of people living in these areas of high hippie concentration.
"They're everywhere," said Linda Hewson of Albany, NY. "Last night, when I went to take out the trash, I found one of them foraging through my garbage cans for Dead bootlegs. I shooed it away, but a bunch more came by later scavenging for discarded twirling sticks."
"My property is overrun with them," said Vallejo, CA, resident Patrick Davis, who said he is considering moving if the problem gets worse. "They even set up a bead-vending stand in my backyard."
First introduced into the cultural landscape in the early 1960s, the hippie, or homo habilis VWbus, was initially applauded by freakologists, who believed they would be beneficial in curbing the growth of the then-ubiquitous Establishment Type. When the crisis passed in the early 1970s, the hippie population was reduced to a fraction of its former size, creating room in the American freakosystem for numerous other subcultures, including punks, new-wavers and goths. Social developments of recent years, however, have caused the hippies' numbers to balloon once more.
A 1985 photo of an Olympia, WA, meadow sparsely populated with hippies. By 1996, the meadow was destroyed, its topsoil stripped clean by migratory hippie herds numbering in the thousands.
"For some time, it was believed that the extinction of Jerry Garcia and the dispersal of The Grateful Dead would have a suppressive effect on the size of the hippie population," Kennedy said. "Surprisingly, though, exactly the opposite has happened: The herds have grown, diversifying and spreading out. In the past, if the Dead were playing in Chicago, the entire hippie species would be singularly concentrated there. But today, you could have a herd of hippies at Red Rocks to see Phish while, at the very same moment, an equally large herd is massing in Ann Arbor for a Widespread Panic show."
Another reason for the hippie explosion, environmentalists say, lies in the differences between the current crop and the more mature, "old-growth" hippies of the 1960s. While old-growth hippies were a gentle species that was considered a mild annoyance at worst, the new breed, they say, is a hardier, more insidious creature which seems to thrive in virtually any environment.
"We're seeing these young hippies in the malls, in fraternities, on Madison Avenue–all kinds of places where hippies were once considered non-indigenous," said Alfred Meijer of the Nature Conservancy. "Years of cross-breeding and exposure to television have produced a hybridized, consumer-culture-bred hippie that can adapt to literally any environment, countercultural or mainstream. And unlike the old-growth hippies, which at least were anti-materialistic, the new ones are voracious consumers, swiftly depleting their habitat of all resources and purchasable goods."
Though most experts agree that the vast herds must be thinned, they are divided on how to go about it. Some are calling for the hippies to be spayed and neutered and then placed in designated preserve areas, where they would be free to roam peacefully and play hacky-sack. Others suggest more extreme measures, advocating the use of large, headshop-shaped traps to lure the hippies. Once inside the traps, the hippies would be poisoned with super-adhesive, cyanide-laced Guatemalan blankets and sweaters.
"Whatever we do, we must do it soon," Babbitt said. "If we don't, we are dooming our children to live in a world overrun with backless apron dresses and bare feet. And that is a fate we can ill afford."
Dr. Dot traf Eva Longoria zur Massage (Press release in Germany)
Dr. Dot traf Eva Longoria zur Massage Kategorie: Models, Menschen Von: JC Sierks Verführerische Momente an der Côte d'Azur
Echte Geniesserin: Eva Longoria Anfang der Woche präsentierte Promi-Masseurin Dr. Dot an der Côte d'Azur Eva Longoria, dem neuen Gesicht der Marke Magnum, ihre speziell entwickelte „Hot Chocolate Massage“. Als erklärte Liebhaberin von Genuss und Entspannung war Eva Longoria von der sinnlichen und wohltuenden Schokoladenmassage begeistert. Zur Präsentation der neuen Magnum Eisvariationen reiste „Desperate Housewives"-Star Eva Longoria am Montag in das Genussland Frankreich. Dort stellte sie nicht nur das verführerische Magnum Temptation vor, sondern traf auch auf die international renommierte Masseurin Dot Stein – besser bekannt als „Dr. Dot". Diese hatte eigens für die bekennende Wellness- und Schokoladenliebhaberin Eva Longoria eine besondere Schokoladenmassage entwickelt: Die „Magnum Hot Chocolate Massage". Inspiriert von den Vorlieben und der Sinnlichkeit Longorias hat die Wohlfühlspezialistin Dr. Dot die anregende Wirkung von Schokolade als Grundlage für diese exklusive Massage entdeckt. Der angenehme Duft sorgt für sinnliche Verwöhnmomente und die euphorisierende Wirkung des Kakaos tut der Seele gut. Die Haut wird seidig weich, und nach der Massage bleibt ein leichter, angenehmer Schokoladenduft zurück. Eva Longoria war begeistert. „Toll! Das möchte ich auch gern mal probieren!" Denn: Das neue Magnum Gesicht sucht nach stressigen Tagen ihren Ausgleich gern in besonderen Verwöhnmomenten. Der Hollywood-Star steht wohl wie keine andere dafür, das Leben zu genießen und sich von dessen kleinen Versuchungen verführen zu lassen. Sei es von schokoladigem Eisgenuss à la Magnum oder einer sinnlichen Massage. „Es ist enorm wichtig, im Leben die Balance zwischen Disziplin und Verführung zu finden. Man braucht von beidem etwas", erklärt die Schauspielerin. 
Frank Zappa quote that makes me feel sane
"Let me tell you one great thing about America, that everbody in Europe could be jealous of. For the land mass that we have Vs. the land mass of the European part of the world, you have more hatred per square foot, from country to country, than exists anywhere in the United States. The idea of the ethnic pride, and the grudges that go back thousands of years, that will keep this part of the world a disaster area for centuries yet to come, is something that we will not experience in the States. And I'm happy to be from there, rather than from here(Europe), because over here(again, Europe) you have to choose. You get to be English, or you get to be French, or Polish, or whatever it is, but you,ya know, you have to say, "We're the best," and you live your life thinking that you're the best, and the guy next door is a poot-head, and you have to conduct your business that way, and its the business of hate.
There's no cooperation, and there's no standardization, and you can insulate yourself and think that what you're doing in your country is really terrific, but it's not. Ultimately, it Bites. And in the Unites States, weird as it is, there is always the possibility that something good could happen all the way across the country, there is a national feeling there among a large number of people. Even though the guy from Vermont might have totally different tastes than, politics and everything else, from the guy in Texas, but they are still Americans, and they're happy to be that way. You don't hear people saying, "I am a European and proud to be that way." You hear them say, "I'm French, and the rest of you guys go die."-Frank Zappa (Music Box, 1984)
Ask Dr. Dot…. March 2008
Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…
Q.
My husband turns 42 this year and he's become this insecure person. He was never like
this very insecure, withdrawn, needy, and at times high strung. We have sex 5 times a
week sometimes twice a day. He brings up my first long term relationship up constantly.
This past relationship was 23 years ago, lasted 2 years and I was only 17. I have been
married to my Husband for 17 years and now this is coming up in conversation constantly.
My first relationship was HELL, we hardly saw each other and all we did was fight and
I chose to forget about it a long time ago but he keeps bringing it up because the
fuck I was with took my virginity and my husband feels it was
Memorable, but not for me because it was basically forced and at that age and you put
yourself in stupid situations. I don't think there are too many women out there that say
what a beautiful experience it was losing their virginity. I am sure there is some but
it's not the majority. My question is how do I get him to get past this? Or is it
something I have to live with? Should I let him go and maybe he can find himself a
“memorable” virgin to deflower? I don't want him to tear me down to bits so I feel
tainted while I am married to him. But I don't know how much more of this I can take-please
advise!! By the way LOVE YOUR COLUMN-IT IS THE BEST!!!!!!
Tainted Tammy
A.
The Bitch gets sex more than 5 times a week, even after 17 years of marriage
(this must be a world record) and yet he is still “insecure, withdrawn, needy, and
at times high strung"?
What a spoiled prick. Dogs, like Men, are on their best behavior when they want to be
fed. Keep his "bowl" half full, as in; keep him hungry for you and he may be a bit nicer
to you. Being TOO nice to men, giving them TOO much sex doesn't make them love you more,
it can have the opposite effect, it can make them ungrateful, lazy and it can turn them
into monsters. Sure, they all say they want sex everyday, but then there is NO
challenge and they feel they have all the power, like yours; he feels so powerful that
he picks on you about something that happened decades ago. Ask him "are you that fucking
bored?” Tell him you are done talking about the past and it’s killing your sex drive to
the point where you don't want to fuck him anymore let alone several times a week if he
keeps up this bullshit.
He is probably unhappy about other things, like turning 42, and no matter how much pussy
he gets, it won't make him happy, only he can make himself happy, so stop trying so
hard to please him, you are only making it worse. Sometimes when people are miserable,
they actually resent folks being too nice to them as they subconsciously feel they don't
deserve it. In other words, he doesn't deserve all that pussy if he is being a wanker.
Good luck with that, I would tell him to be nice and drop the past or move the fuck on
as he obviously doesn’t know how good he has it.
Q.
I have a girlfriend whom I love very much and she loves me very much. Making
love is like unbelievable; we both have a great connection and 80% of the time
we both orgasm together. Though it seems like every time she is on top of me I
can’t seem to hold an erection for more then 5 minutes. In fact when I feel my
self losing my erection, I switch positions right away. I have never ever had
this problem with other woman before. One thing I noticed is that she gets very
wet and usually cums two to three times, and literally drips gulps of fluid. Do
you think it's her fluid that is making me lose my erection? I can’t understand
this. please help me.
Wet Willy
A.
You say it didn't happen with other women, so it could be her dripping wet pussy
gets too loose/relaxed to keep your cock hard. It is a compliment that she gets so wet,
so be sure not to whine about it, just take your hand from time to time, and wipe
her pussy (ask her to lift up for a second and wipe her). Your dry (clean) hand will take
enough excess fluid away to regain some resistance which you surely loose when it
gets so slippery, hence you loose your stiffy. If your hand isn't enough, then you
should keep a clean, soft rag around to sop up her juice from time to time; mop that
baby up and keep going as a juicy girl is good thing.
Q.
My wife and moved to Berlin, Germany 6 months ago as my job has relocated me here.
(we are both from the UK). She can't
speak German and hasn't been able to find a decent job. She is extremely fit, very
good looking indeed and so I wasn't that surprised (but not happy) to find out that
she is working for an online, sexy web cam chat thingy. One of my work mates found her
and actually paid her for a chat (he claims he was just checking to make sure it wasn’t full nudity,
it’s topless). We had a giant argument about this and she doesn’t see
anything wrong with it, but I want her to quit. I feel World War 3 coming on, please
answer fast.
Nervous Nate
A.
You can’t force her to stop so try to think positive; those girls can earn loads of cash,
they never meet the men they chat with and it’s good for her ego; getting told she
looks good will boost her confidence and sex drive. Plus, she is obviously grooming
herself well, so she will stay looking hot for you too. Women do those things for two
reasons (1) Not enough income (2) They like to be admired and looked at. It could be worse,
she could be stripping in a club, where men can meet her and maybe even touch her. So
count your blessings, your double income and be happy you married such a sex bomb you
lucky bastard.
Q.
A few years ago, my wife was attacked and
robbed in a bar she worked in. Her and the
manager were stripped and left bound and gagged
for hours until they were able to work themselves
free. She said she was "fondled slightly" by the criminal,
who she has described as "not unattractive."
She says it could have led to rape although it didn’t,
but the probability of it kept her wet!
Ever since that incident, she constantly referrers to it
during our love making. She admitted almost
from the day it happened that she was aroused by
the entire thing and masturbates while
thinking about it and she says she cums the hardest
while thinking about the ordeal while we screw.
Now she wants me to tie her up and re-create it.
I refused. I'll talk about it, but not this.
She now calls it an "erotic encounter!" It was a crime,
not an encounter or a fantasy. It makes me very upset.
How can something like this be arousing? I'm concerned
that she has some type of personality disorder.
What do you think?
Disgusted Dan
A.
It's common for people to find a sexual way to look
at drama in order to digest and deal with it.
Had your wife been violently hurt and still wanking over it,
then perhaps she has a screw loose but if she was just stripped,
gagged and fondled perhaps that turned her on. Imagine you were
stripped and gagged by a hot female thief? Try to put yourself
in her shoes. If this is the only thing that makes you think
she could be nuts, I’d let it slide.
She is just a pervert in bed and lord knows there are loads of
those around.
There is no way to change her way of thinking and the more you
tell her it's sick or wrong, the more forbidden and naughty it
will get for her. Why not tie her up once and act it out, just
to shut her up and make her fantasy finally come true.
Even people who have never been raped act it out in the bedroom
as a fantasy.
Try it once then tell her later that you are getting bored
reliving her “encounter” and you want to play out one of your
fantasy’s now and don't sugar coat it either. If you can’t beat
‘em, join ‘em.
Q.
I have a perfect BF who treats me great but I have taken advantage.
For the last few months I have been a vicious shrew to him. I said
some really cruel stuff that I didn’t mean!. He is still with me but
the twinkle in his eye has gone, and I can sense he’s lost his
confidence. He used to be so funny and full of life. To make things
worse, the hot bartender at our drinking hole has noticed our relationship
sinking and she now flirts with him in her slutty clothes; last time
we were there she was really pushing it, I know she wants him. He goes there
on his own sometimes, what can I do to stamp my mark on him again? She
wasn’t sniffing around before when things were perfect. My eyes are starting
to water now thinking about it. I care about him and want to make it up
to him. How can I get him back to his normal self? Why did I act like that?
Flirting with Disaster
A.
Don’t worry about “getting him back to his normal self”, you need to
get back to normal. Sometimes we use our partner/lover as a whipping
post, we forget that only our parents have to love us, anyone else
can (and will) walk away if you treat them badly. Perhaps you are drinking
too much caffeine? Caffeine can make people very edgy and bitchy.
Think hard about your habits and routines and see if you can find any thing
that is contributing to your bitchy behavior. Some people get too cozy when
they are being treated well. They start to get high off of the power of
having the upper hand in the relationship and they just take advantage,
like you were doing.
Write him an honest letter; keep it short and sweet, tell him you are embarrassed
for being so evil and ask him if there is anything you can do to make it
up to him. Don't go over board though; just start being sweet and grateful
right away. Massage him, give him loads of oral and let him do most of the
talking for a while, and give him some space. When he reaches out, be there,
be kind and if you two are meant to stay together, things will be like they
used
to be, sparkle and all. Now about the hot vulture. Never mention her to
him and vice versa! That would only make them gravitate towards each other.
Start giving him amazing, really long blow jobs, take your sweet old time,
and sit him naked on the corner of a bad, kneel down on a pillow, naked on
the floor in front of him, make sure there is a mirror in back of you, so
he can see you from behind while you blow him and lick his balls,. I doubt
going to a bar would be on his mind anymore. Dress sexy around him, red dress
, cleavage, STOCKINGS.
Start doing fun things with him, tell him the bar is starting to bore you,
bring him bowling, out to karaoke, anything that would keep you two out of
that bar and be fun! (try to do this transition slowly, so he doesn't think
you are going over board).
When you see the bitch at the bar, be really nice and friendly to her and
tip her a lot, it's harder for a girl to steal another girl’s man when she
is "friends" with her.
