Tag: and

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Forget it, old people. No more TV for you starting in 2009.

Funniest video I have seen in a couple weeks at least:

 

CLICK HERE to have a good laugh

 

Oh, someone told me you can't view that video outside the USA. so here it is

on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTSS8E7bKXg

 

ps. I have a few blogs cooking, just trying to find the time. Today I awoke to 739 unread emails. I am going nuts, I can't take this much longer. ugh!! I was the MC (host) for THE live karaoke band last night in Redbank, NJ. That is a lot of work. 2nd week in a row I did that for them. Hey, they pay well and I love the band, so it's all good. The night before, I went backstage to the COHEED AND CAMBRIA show at Terminal 5 to see my friend (their production manager). I had never heard of that band, but HELLO, it was sold out (all 5 of their shows there are sold out) as fuck. Packed with insane fans- they were all around 18-25 years old, and knew ever FUCKING WORD to every song. WOW. I will get into that more when I do a proper blog about it. So much going on.. I miss Europe, don't get to see Jasmine enough and wonder what will happen if Obama doesn't win. sigh. 

It's 6:27 am and I still have loads of work to do,

x

Posted on

The wrong choice

ok, heading back to NYC now.. it's been very relaxing up here in Wakefield (Boston). Time to get back to work and the swing of things.. LOTS to do. I went to Joe Satriani show last night in Boston, it was fucking UNBELIEVABLE!!!! Took some pics, will blog later (after the Motorhead blog finally surfaces). Gotta pack.

x

 

John McCain on NBC’s, Meet the Press, 1/30/00:
Mr. Russert:  “A Constitutional Amendment to ban all abortions?” 
McCain: “Yes Sir.”
Mr. Russert:  “But, Senator, women across the country would say, prior to Roe v. Wade, hundreds of thousands of women a year went to back alleys to have abortions.” 
McCain:  “I understand that.”
Mr. Russert:  “Many died.” 
McCain:  “I understand that.”

 

Watch the VIDEO HERE (funny how they have "Welcome to the Machine" playing in background heh heh)

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What happened to Ron Paul? www.wacla.org (we are change LA)

From: WeAreChangeLA - wacla.org 
Date: Thu, Sep 25, 2008 at 11:28 AM


Please email your Senators and Representatives now!

On Wednesday, George Bush went on TV to sweet-talk Americans into
letting him steal $700 billion of our tax dollars - $2,333 for every
man, woman, and child - to bail out his greedy rich friends on Wall
Street. Worst of all, it's another massive fraud. Bush lied to our
faces when he promised to buy toxic securities "at their current low
prices... and we expect that much, if not all, of the tax dollars we
invest will be paid back." Bull. This is the same administration that
promised the invasion of Iraq would pay for itself through lower oil
prices. The cost of that disaster is now $3 trillion and climbing, not
to mention millions dead, maimed, or exiled...Call your
Senators and Representative right now to say "No $700 Billion Bailout
for Wall Street" - dial the Capitol switchboard at 800-473-6711 or
202-224-3121 or dial direct using the instant phone lookup available
here. And if you have not emailed your Senators and Representative,
please do it now.

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Ask Dr. Dot (September 6, 2008)

Feel free to send me your questions about love, sex and relationships. Don't be shy, I always change the names, your secret is safe with me 😉

 

 
 http://www.ibrokemypenis.com/  

Q.
I have been dating this really special guy (age 30) for 6 months. We took our time getting to know each other and have been having sex for the last two months.
Last time we were shagging, I got on top and squatted on his cock and apparently slammed down on it the wrong way or too hard, or something and he stopped me and said his dick hurts. We couldn't continue, even though we tried, as he was in
pain and his prick was swollen. He left and sent me a text message a few hours later and said he was in the emergency room as I had broken his dick! He stayed in there THREE days and the worst part of all of this is he told his parents, as they needed to bring him clothes and I haven't even MET them yet. I am horrified. How can I continue seeing this man and how should I behave if I meet the parents? SOS!

Vicious Vagina

A.
Oddly enough, I have broken a cock before too. It DOES happen. Telling his parents
means he is an open, honest guy who obviously has a good relationship to his folks,
which is a good think (he could have lied and said he did it while wanking). The best
way to handle this situation is with humor. If/when you meet them, don't apologize
for fucking their son so hard you snapped his willy in half, just leave it and if THEY

mention it, make a little joke like "yes, we were "driving" recklessly that evening"

and let it slide. They are probably proud of their son for being open, honest and having

wild sex like they surely used to.

Q.
I am a 31-year-old brother and my girlfriend, age 23 and I got engaged 3 months ago. Recently she got all dolled up and went out with the girls. They went out dancing and she came home around 3am in a giggly, sexy mood and I am pleased she had fun. We start making out and she says she needs to go to the bathroom. I could hear the shower going so I go in to surprise her. She was washing her pussy and a load of cum was sliding down her leg. I wiped it off and smelt it. It was 100% cum! I stormed out and slept over one of my homies houses.  DEVASTATED DOES NOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL. I demanded the truth and she admitted EVERYTHING; some guy bought her drinks, she sat in his lap and he felt up her legs and arse then he got his dick out under her skirt and she sat on it. Later they fucked again out the back of the club. Of course she used the “drunk" excuse. She has apologized 50 times already. I don't know what the fuck to do.
Shittin’ Kittens   


A.
Although I am aware that being 100% physically true is almost impossible, she crossed the line by putting you in GREAT danger. Had you not walked in and snatched the cum wad from her thigh, you would have never known. She can’t be trusted. The worst part is she didn't use a condom. This cannot be tolerated. If she that ignorant and irresponsible that she can go fuck a stranger in a bar without a condom, why would you want to keep her around? If you stay with her your self-esteem, confidence and most importantly your life will be in constant state of fear and danger.  Show the whore the door.

 

Q.

My boyfriend and I have great sex but whenever he is about to ejaculate he withdraws and wanks over my tits or face or stomach. He very rarely comes inside me. I have never had an orgasm with him because he always withdraws and wanks over me.  I am then left feeling frustrated. I have been with him 2 years but don’t know how to talk to him about this.  He watches a lot of porn and I think that because most of the porn he watches this is what the blokes do, he thinks that is the norm.
Frustrated Fiona


A.
Men shoot their spunk over a woman for numerous reasons (1) In their subconscious they may think
the girl won't get pregnant if they pull out (2) It's fun to watch themselves mark their territory
(3) They are curious as to how exactly big that batch is.
 He should be grateful he has such a good sport as a partner as some girls would get offended when a man sprays his baby gravy all over them. I am guessing he never asks about you having an orgasm and if not, you should learn to speak your mind.  The fact that he is doing something that annoys you is partly your fault because how the fuck is he supposed to know it bothers you if you don't speak up? I assume he isn't a mind reader.
Just come right out and say, "Darling, would you stay with a girl who can't make you cum?” Then he will probably give you a dirty look and answer, "fuck no! why?" then you say, "well, I know it's
 my fault for not saying anything, but I never, ever cum with you, in fact I would prefer you cum IN me sometimes, not just on me, so lets try something different please". If you don't whip up the courage
to say something, then you deserve to just be his loving cum rag.

Q.
I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months, and things have been great,
 but are moving into a beyond the 'surface' stage of our relationship.I haven't
had something like this in awhile and he was very romantic and generous with his
word up until recently. He isn’t seeing someone else and he contacts me
regularly but the sweetness has faded a little. He’s very stressed at work
and the last time I saw him he looked tired and admitted that he takes on
too much and then feels overwhelmed. I freaked a little when he said he has to
find balance. I took it personally because when I had heard that before, it meant that they were
disappearing,and that perhaps I had done something to change their mind.  In my heart, I know
he really cares about me, but I am afraid. He’s invited me to go with his family for
dinner next week, but that urgency to see me has faded and he’s really putting himself
first these past days.I understand that, but I still get fearful that my romantic guy won't come
back.  I apologized for the mini-freak out and explained to him my fears. He was all ears
and philosophical about it.  I just wish I could relax and not worry so much. Any thoughts?
Fearful Freda

A.
You need to chill. Men can smell insecurity, fear and doubt like a dog
can smell another dogs ass miles away.
It’s natural for things to calm after a few months. The only way to keep things
really spicy is to only see each other once a week, but then you can never really
get closer. You’re hooked on that romantic high; that addictive butterfly effect
 a fresh
love has on everyone, but love never stays that intoxicating. Eventually romance turns
 into a familiarity; there is no way of avoiding it. We would all like our lover to be
 mad about us, to imagine they only think of us when they wank, but it's just bullshit;
that only exists in romance flicks.
You shouldn’t have freaked out. Less words and tantrums; more confidence and calm will
prevent them from disappearing. Men need space, patience and above all, less drama.
Realize that you are worth hanging around for and try to feel so happy in your
own shell, that even if you were alone, you would be fine. Men can sense that
and feel free. Just like being in a room alone with a cat, if you close the door,
the cat wants OUT now. If you leave the door a bit open, he will want to sit on
your lap and pine for your attention.

Posted on

Burning candle at both ends (as usual)

Last night (Thursday) I massaged Gene Simmons (we watched the pathetic Republican Convention- what a crock of SHIT that was). Then directly after Jim Norton (comedian you see on most Comedy Central Roasts and you hear every morning if you get the Opy and Anthony show). I have known Jim, who wrote a book called "Happy Endings", for years. Hmmmm, he has never asked for one, so I wonder wtf that is about? lol. Jim is a self confessed massage WHORE, he gets them all the time, mostly from me, but if I am away, from my team or other therapists, he has to have them. 

I am so tired I am going to cry. It is 9am and I am STILL up. By the way,  Gene is in NYC because he just appeared on the Today Show. From Gene's blog:

GENE SIMMONS Keynote Speaker
at AARP CONVENTION, WASH DC

   Heading out to NY to do the TODAY SHOW to promo my forthcoming Keynote Speech at the Annual AARP CONVENTION on September 6th in Washington DC, in front of 30,000 people.
   Then head off to Toronto on September 7th for a Charity Event hosted by Magna, the world's largest auto parts entity.

 

 

Gene is so fucking cool, omg!Oh, he turned me on to a show I have never heard of, probably because it's on the Cartoon Network lol, It's called Robot Chicken . WICKED FUNNY. 

The night before, I went and saw one of my best friends, Jonesy , do his live stand up comedy act at the EastVille Comedy club . He is there every Wednesday. Super funny!!! I predict Jonesy is going to be as big as Jim Carrey someday, mark my words. He is the fucking BOMB!! We are both New Englanders and have the same smart ass sense of humor. We bond!

I can't write anymore, I am falling asleep here. The sun is out, it looks like it will be another scorcher! Oh, last night in NYC, I saw numerous Cock Roachers! OMFG!! They are everywhere (so is garbage). I do miss the clean streets of Berlin right about now. I was talking to a woman on the street out side the hotel I I massaged Gene at, and a fucking Cock Roach landed on her neck. We both flipped out, hysterical, screaming, omfg!!!!! She said some of them can fly? Holy fuck, if it landed on me, I would have passed out. I loathe those seedy mother fuckers. 

 

 
   
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“Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why, you had to hide away for so long”

I feel like Joe Btfsplk  lately. Not because I am dirty or scruffy, but because there is a fucking storm over my head wherever I go. While I was in NYC last time, it was cold and wet the whole time. Everyone said "This is SO weird, as it was gorgeous before you got here". While freezing in NYC, my friends in Berlin bragged about the hot weather and blue skies every day. I get to Berlin and it's fucking raining every day, gray skies and freezing. Wtf? Oh well. I guess one advantage of missing out on the sun is lack of sun damage to the skin. Many ask me how my skin stays so nice. I tell them "I never fucking see the sun". I either sleep too late, work on the computer and get out when it's already dark or wear 50 SPF sunblock if I do get out when the sun is out lol.

 

Anyways, I STILL haven't gotten done uploading all my France and Italy pictures. I mean, why even fucking bother now. UGH. I am so busy, my massage team is growing like MAD  and my sex columns keep me busy too. Then there are my massage clients, friends, 300+ emails a day. OMG, I need a break. Leaving again next month back to NYC for a long haul. I will miss Berlin. Not sure how long I can stay away from it this time as I have really FINALLY grown to love it. Sure, there are things I don't like about it, but you will have that anywhere you go. One good thing about Berlin is there are no forest fires, floods, hurricanes, tornados, earth quakes or many shootings. ha.

 

Jasmine is in town, but I only saw her once. Not happy about that. I find it hard to blog if I am not happy. Why log on here and dump a bad mood on you? I just can't. There is ALWAYS someone in the world that has it worse than you do, so my motto is, if you haven't anything FUN to say, shut up.

Joe Jackson came over this week for a massage. He is probably the only star (no, I forgot, Jerry Garcia too) that I have massaged but never asked for a picture or even an autograph. At this point, Joe and I are friends, so it would just be STRANGE. He, and Jerry, are just not the type. You never even get the feeling of wanting to ask them (yes, I fucking know Jerry is long gone, I mean, when he was alive). They both have this "I am not a star, so don't act like a fan" vibe. It's really cool. Joe doesn't like the whole show biz crap anyways.  He is so down to earth. He loves the Beatles and Zappa as much as I do, so we get on perfectly. Only thing we butt heads over is the smoking vs anti-smoking arguments. He smokes and hates the idea of a smoking ban. I hate smoking and smoky places and LOVE the smoking ban. ha. 

 

Anyhow, here in Berlin I don't massage nearly as much as I do when I am in the USA. There I massage ALL the time until my fingers hurt (and that takes a long time to happen). Berlin is just so laid back and slow paced. No one gives a FUCK about earning money (OR spending any). They really do live for today. Hippie bastards. Ha ha. Just kidding . I am the ONLY cunt in my building that listens to anything even remotely "hippie". The others listen to techno shit. ew. I blast Led Zepp, Beatles and Zappa right back at them. (Frank would roll his eyes if he heard me mention his name in the same paragraph as "hippie". It is 7am and I am still awake. I have a massive sleep disorder. When you work at home, and there is no one nagging you to "come to bed" you can end up working all the time without any structure. But I actually love the fact no one tells me what to do. Freedom is one of the most important things to me.

 

" Give me my freedom for as long as I be.
All I ask of living is to have no chains on me.
All I ask of living is to have no chains on me,
And all I ask of dying is to go naturally.
Oh I want to go naturally.

And when I die, and when I'm gone,
There'll be one child born
In this world to carry on,
to carry on."  Blood Sweat and Tears

 

x

 

 

Posted on

Venus wins again

Not turning into an avid sports fan, but I am fascinated by the Williams sisters and their success. I listened to the whole game today on the radio, BBC while making my morning fruit shake and breakfast etc.. it was so exciting to have both sisters playing against each other. I wonder what the Brits think of Americans dominating Wimbledon again? Do they hate it or do they just stay mutual and enjoy the game? If I was their Mother I would be so dam proud. These girls are go-getters; I LOVE their ambition and drive.

 Venus is now a seven-time Grand Slam champion and she captured her fifth Wimbledon title by beating her sister Serena 7-5 6-4 in a high-quality final. BRAVO!!!

 

 
   


Today in Berlin some German guy ripped Adolf Hitlers wax head off. WTF? Laughing my ass off. It's the talk of the town today. Guess he had it coming to him. ha. The guy is from Kreuzberg, my neighborhood here in Berlin. Guess all the freaks live here in Kreuzberg 😉

Click HERE to read more about Adolf's decapitation. 

<  Adolf wants head.

I did go to the Hard Cock Cafe last night to eat with the German Vogue journalist, who said she'd never been there. It was fucking LOUD (dumb idea for us to go there on the 4th of July I guess). The service was TOO good, know what I mean? They kept interrupting our conversation, which we had to SHOUT over the music, every 20 seconds. UGH. There is no happy medium here. It's either the waitresses are UP your ass or ignoring you. That place has gone down the fucking tubes. It used to have great food, music, service. Now it just has LOUD crappy music and loud bloated tourists on top of Ice Berg lettuce, which I loathe entirely.

We ate and headed over to the Hyatt hotel for some wonderful red wine. If you want excellent service, eat/drink at the 5 star hotels in Berlin. They HAVE to be nice to you and they have the best food/drinks ever. I eat at the Ritz, Hotel Rome and the Hyatt all the time. I am not a clothing snob (hate fashion) or jewelry snob, but I do spend a lot on good food and wine.

I suppose drinking wine with a journalist isn't a bright idea either. After a couple glasses of wine, things get personal and private information rolls off the tongue. Oooops. Lets hope she has a heart. heh heh. If not, oh well, I already have a room reserved in Hell anyways. JK.

Jasmine alerted me today she is in Sicily. Wot? Jeeze she gets around. When I was her age I was on tour with Frank Zappa. She is just on tour. Oh well, I hope she is safe. It can't be more dangerous than LONDON! I think I should stop watching the news, I get so freaked out over the horror stories happening over there. The two French students that were killed in their flat yesterday.. ugh. I had nightmares about that. The news sucks. Not sure if it's better to hide head in sand or watch the news. If you ignore it, you become ignorant, if you watch it, you become jaded and jumpy. No wonder so many people smoke grass. Being apathetic probably has it's benefits.

 

Recently I was asked to contribute to this book:

The Heavy Metal Book of Lists, to be published in Fall
2009 by Backbeat Books, an imprint of the Hal Leonard Corporation—with
a foreword written by Lemmy of Motörhead! The HMBOL is a follow up to
their recent Punk Rock Book of Lists, by Amy Wallace and Handsome Dick
Manitoba.

Just got done with my list. I listed 11 of the top Heavy Metal Bodies that I have massaged but now I realize I have forgotten a few. Dam. It's hard to decide. Naturally I can't reveal my list but I am just saying, it's going to be a good book. Can't wait for the release party. I was at the Punk Rock Book of Lists party: http://drdot.blog-city.com/nyc_december_2007.htm   < click to read that blog… THAT party was the fucking BOMB. Here I am writing about all this current shit and I STILL have not finished my France and Italy blog. OMFG I feel like SHIT about that. It's nagging away at my conscience. It's on my mental lists of things to do, but with Berlin being so warm and fruity (there are trees in Berlin that smell so incredibly sweet and beautiful, the whole city smells amazing in the spring and summer here, it's intoxicating) it's hard to stay inside and concentrate on such a huge project. I will get it done soon, then I can move on and forget it. Wonder if all writers feel like that sometimes.

Off to bed to watch the Gene Simmons ROAST on iTunes. yes!

Posted on

OMG
   


Berlin is happier than ever right now. The Turks are happy as they won the other night and now Germany won against Portugal, so we have happy Turks along side Happy Germans, enjoying the warm weather. Life is grand here apart from the fucking construction workers who have been doing who knows WHAT since January in my court yard, who start making EXTREME noise at 7:30 am sharp, which leaves me about, uh, one hour of silences after my head hits the pillow at 6am as always. Lucky for them there are laws protecting them, ha ha.

 

So today (June 19th) is Jasmine's 19th birthday. OMG! Just thought I would throw that out there, she won't want me going on and on about it. sigh. I  am so swamped lately that even thinking about blogging makes me nervous. I have so much to write and so many pictures to crop and upload and explain. Perhaps I will find time this weekend to put a dent in the France and Italy blog. Jesus I have to much catching up to do AND my New Years resolution was to actually re-write my WHOLE book again so I can see if anyone wants to publish it. Thing is, I get asked several times a day per email "where can I find your book" or "where can I buy your book?" so I know there is a demand for it and I know it will help me sleep getting all of this info out of my fucking head (like taking a huge mental dump) so I can free up memory space on my mind before I get Alzheimers and forget it all. Feck!

So much to do everyday, so many emails and columns to write that I never get around to the fun writing.. I think it's better to have too much to do than not enough. I simply can NOT understand people who get bored. WHAT? Bored? I just don't comprehend. I have no time to be bored. There is always something to do, in fact, more than one thing to do; I'm not even bored when I sleep, I have naughty dreams keeping me entertained.

Oh, I saw the Sex and the City movie tonight and LOVED IT!!! I went with  my girlfriend Martina (who looks, dresses and acts just like Charlotte AND is 7 months pregnant, so at the part in the film where Charlotte was super pregnant, it was so funny looking at Martina!). Anyways the film is fabulous and we want MORE! On another note, I watched an episode of WEEDS, which everyone told me about; told me how much I would love it. HATED IT. What a waste of time that was. STUPID. Don't waste your time. Sometimes before I sleep, Pooh and I watch something on my MAC lap top (which I LOVE now by the way) and it's usually Meerkat Manor or Gene Simmon's Family Jewels which I order from iTunes. LOVE THEM.

 

I am just rambling on now, I have to get to bed before the trash men and construction workers start making their war sounds. Will write again soon,

x 

   
   
Posted on

Hurry and Help to Protect Pacific Leatherback Sea Turtles

Pacific leatherback sea turtles need your help right now.

The National Marine Fisheries Service (NMFS), the government agency responsible for fisheries management, is considering allowing hundreds of miles of fishing lines and baited hooks to be set inside the Pacific Leatherback Conservation Area off California and Oregon under what is known as an "Exempted Fishing Permit." The permit would be for the catch of swordfish, but would also allow for the catch of up to five endangered leatherback sea turtles, a short-finned pilot whale and other marine life as well.

 

 Click  HERE to sign the petition. If you live outside the US, just make up an address, it's urgent. 

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