Long story….. and yes, somehow Frank Zappa is involved, as usual-
working on the video and blog, I am swamped and I have to rest up as I am going to see Lisa Lampanelli tomorrow, yay!!
Stereophonics in NYC
Seeing the Stereophonics again was so fun. It's not everyday I get to massage a band that looks as good as they sound. They are ear and eye candy. Even listening to them talk is fun. Three of the guys in the band are from Wales (singer, bass, keyboards), one from Birmingham (guitar) and the drummer is from Argentina. A great mix.
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| Jasmine took this shot ^ without flash (she HATES flash) |
A Security guard took this one (with flash- I love flash) heh heh |
As you can see ^ they played the Webster Hall and they sold it out. It was heaving with people who seemed to know the words to every song. As I walked through the crowd, I noticed most of the crowd was Scottish, Irish, English, Welsh and a of course some were yanks. This band is getting bigger all the time, more and more popular and for good reason. They sound AMAZING.
Jasmine and I met briefly and ate something while the opening act played (sorry, I have a tiny attention span). I massaged the Stereophonics earlier on and wanted to give them some space and eat with Jasmine. We ate at the BEST falafel place in NYC (it's called Tahini ). OMG. Naturally I invited her to the show, just like I invited her to meet Gene Simmons the other night, but she is focused and not letting me be a bad, rock and roll influence on her. Yay. Mission accomplished. Raise a well focused child 
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Adam wasn't with the band the last time I massaged them in Berlin (see that BLOG ) |
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Javier told me he got his Salvador Dali inspired tattoos by a Tattoo artist based in Paris named Tin Tin
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I LOVE the moments before show time when a band warms up ^ |
 Standard dressing room behavior now a days, MAC in hand |
Kelly is so fucking sweet. He showed me pictures of his two daughters, omg, SUPER CUTE!!!
He told me where Broccoli got it's name. He said it comes from the Cauliflower family, it's the brother of Cauliflower actually, hence the name BRO-Cauli (get it?) ha ha.
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| Adam is the one from Birmingham. He accent is heavier than my Stepmothers gravy. |
This is one of the hardest bands to photograph; they never hold still and their light show is outrageous. I am lucky I got these two live shots.
I can not stress the fact enough how perfect the sound was. This must be the BEST venue to play in NYC. The band nailed it. Sold out show, sounded spectacular and everyone was singing along, dancing, sweating together and happy as fook.
So, there is the set list Chris (manager) peeled off the dressing room wall for me ^
They played for nearly two hours and seemed to never tired. I am surprised Kelly had any voice left after the gig, he sings so unique, hard to describe, in fact, you would have to hear/see them on youtube to know what I mean. Also, Kelly and Adam took turns playing lead guitar, which was cool.
All bands want time to themselves after they get off stage. They want to dry off, shower, have a drink and calm down from the huge adrenaline rush they get from playing live on stage. So, I waited outside their dressing room, on a tiny, cushy chair, reading emails on my blackberry when three people came and stood RIGHT in front of me. I had both feet on the chair, barefoot and heavily into my crackberry. One of my foot slipped and hit the guy RIGHT in front of me in the back of his leg. He turned around and said "oh, I am sorry, am I in your way, should I move?". He thought I kicked him on purpose. I said "sorry, did I hit you?", then he said "sorry, I'm in your way right?" ha ha. Anyways, I told him he wasn't in my way and the girl he was with, gets close to my ear and asks if I am with the band. I told her yes, I am their massage therapist for the evening. In her heavy English accent she tells me her name and says she is with Chase Crawford of Gossip girl and he wants to meet the band and asked if I could help them.
I have never seen the show, but have heard/read of it and felt like a right cunt for kicking Chase Crawford in the back of the leg, even if it was accidental. OMFG. Certainly I would help them meet the band now, now that I almost knocked him down lol. I texted the manager and told him and we had to wait a while as they STILL need to dry off. So Chase wants to try out my hands, so naturally, (look at him ok?) I was happy to oblige. How the fuck can someone be so good looking? Jesus. Last time I was face to face with such a perfect looking man was when I met Josh Hartnett backstage at Live 8. He was as friendly as he could be without pissing his date, Scarlett Johansson off. She was NOT happy at all that he was talking to other females. wtf? She's one of the most gorgeous women alive, so why the 'tude? Pffft! Needless to say, it didn't last. Anyways, so I rubbed Chase down for a while and he tells me that it's the "best massages he's ever had" and he took my card and said he will definitely be calling. Behave. It's just a massage. But hey, one can still think "schwing" or not? Happy to let you know, Chase isn't just beautiful, he is polite, friendly and sweet (and he has a great taste in music). I can only imagine how many girls swoon for this young man.
Feast your eyes on these lovely lads ladies! (and poop pushers) ^
You know I am bad with names. The blonde is from Glasgow and the Brunette is American. Both fun, we hung out and went to the pub after with the band where everyone feasted on chicken wings and Guinness (not me, I had ONE glass of wine as I drive). I sat in between Kelly and Adam and wouldn't have traded my spot for anything. Super cozy and loads of laughs with these two. We spoke of Paul Weller and their recent gig up in Toronto with Oasis and Weller (did you hear a crazy fan pushed Noel off stage DURING the show?? wtf!!)
You can SEE a video of it HERE (it happens at 1 minute 28 seconds). Feel sorry for Noel, he is a sweet heart, really! Fucking idiots attacking artists on stage (or killing them like with Pantera). What is the world coming to eh? Peace people, peace.
Last pic ^ I massaged Roberts (bassist) left hand for ages. They have been touring for over a year now and I think they need a break soon, they are all aching and I could tell they need a break. Touring is SO hard on the body, it's ridiculous. Better them than me, I am not into touring anymore, no matter how cushy the tour (the Rolling Stones for example) it still drains ya. Your sleeping and eating routine gets really out of wack (like my sleep "routine" could be any worse) and you meet strangers every day, everyone talks your fucking ears off and the artist have to be nice to everyone and miss their loved ones at home. I feel sorry for them and the least I can do is give them a massage and make them laugh a bit, to show musicians how grateful I am, at least, for doing what they do. "Music is the best" FZ
It's now 8am and I have to get to bed (couldn't sleep until I crapped this blog out)
Last but not least, Stereophonics tour dates (guess they're not taking a break yet
Sept 11 208 8:00P 9.30 Club Washington DC
Sept 12 2008 8:00P Mr Smalls Theatre Pittsburgh, PA
Sept 13 2008 8:00P Metro Chicago, IL
Sept 16 2008 8:00P Henry Fonda Thatre Los Angeles, CA
Sept 17 2008 8:00P Great American Music Hall San Francisico, CA
Sept 19 2008 8:00P Wonder Ballroom Portalnd, OR
Sept 20 2008 8:00P Commodore Ballroom Vancouver, BC
Sept 21 2008 8:00P Showbox Market Seattle, WA
Dec 2 2008 8:00P SECC Glasgow, Scotland
Dec 3 2008 8:00P SECC Glasgow, Scotland
Dec 4 2008 8:00P AECC Aberdeen, Scotland
Dec 6 2008 8:00P International Arena Cardiff,Wales
Dec 7 2008 8:00P International Arena Cardiff, Wales
Dec 9 2008 8:00P Echo Arena Liverpool, UK
Dec 10 2008 8:00P MEN Arena Manchester, UK
Dec 12 2008 8:00P Metro Radio Arena Newcastle, UK
Dec 13 2008 8:00P Trent Arena Nottingham, UK
Dec 15 2008 8:00P NIA Birmingham, UK
Dec 17 2008 8:00P International Centre Boumemouth, UK
Dec 19 2008 8:00P Arena Sheffield, UK
Dec 20 2008 8:00P O2 Arena London, UK
How to blow chunks with style
“Women against Sarah Palin” http://womenagainstsarahpalin.blogspot.com/
On behalf of Lyra Kilston and Quinn Latimer, editors at the esteemed art
> magazine Modern Painters, I pass on the following--
>
>
> Friends, compatriots, fellow-lamenters,
>
>
> We are writing to you because of the dread we have felt since the announcement
> of Sarah Palin as the Vice-Presidential candidate for the Republican Party. We
> believe that this terrible decision has surpassed mere partisanship, and that
> it is a dangerous farce on the part of a pandering and rudderless Presidential
> candidate that has a real possibility of becoming fact.
>
> Perhaps like us, as American women, you share the fear of what Ms. Palin and
> her professed beliefs and proven record could lead to for ourselves and for
> our present or future daughters. To date, she is against sex education, birth
> control, the pro-choice platform, environmental protection, alternative energy
> development, freedom of speech (as mayor she wanted to ban books and attempted
> to fire the librarian who stood against her), gun control, the separation of
> church and state, and polar bears. To say nothing of her complete lack of real
> preparation to become the second-most-powerful person on the planet.
>
> We want to clarify that we are not against Sarah Palin as a woman, a mother,
> or, for that matter, a parent of a pregnant teenager, but solely as a rash,
> incompetent, and all together devastating choice for Vice President. Ms.
> Palin's political views are in every way a slap in the face to the
> accomplishments that our mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers so
> fiercely fought for, and that we've so demonstrably benefited from.
>
> First and foremost, Ms. Palin does not represent us. She does not demonstrate
> or uphold our interests as American women. It is presumed that the inclusion
> of a woman on the Republican ticket could win over women voters. We want to
> disagree, publicly.
>
> Therefore, we invite you to reply here <mailto: womensaynopalin@gmail.com with
> a short, succinct message about why you, as a woman living in this country, do
> not support this candidate as second-in-command for our nation.
>
> Please include your name (last initial is fine), age, and place of residence.
>
> We will post your responses on a blog called "Women Against Sarah Palin,"
> which we intend to publicize as widely as possible. Please send us your reply
> at your earliest convenience, the greater the volume of responses we receive,
> the stronger our message will be.
>
> Thank you for your time and action.
>
> VIVA!
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Quinn Latimer and Lyra Kilston
> New York, NY
http://womenagainstsarahpalin.blogspot.com/
Ask Dr. Dot (September 6, 2008)
Feel free to send me your questions about love, sex and relationships. Don't be shy, I always change the names, your secret is safe with me 
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| http://www.ibrokemypenis.com/ |
Q.
I have been dating this really special guy (age 30) for 6 months. We took our time getting to know each other and have been having sex for the last two months.
Last time we were shagging, I got on top and squatted on his cock and apparently slammed down on it the wrong way or too hard, or something and he stopped me and said his dick hurts. We couldn't continue, even though we tried, as he was in
pain and his prick was swollen. He left and sent me a text message a few hours later and said he was in the emergency room as I had broken his dick! He stayed in there THREE days and the worst part of all of this is he told his parents, as they needed to bring him clothes and I haven't even MET them yet. I am horrified. How can I continue seeing this man and how should I behave if I meet the parents? SOS!
Vicious Vagina
A.
Oddly enough, I have broken a cock before too. It DOES happen. Telling his parents
means he is an open, honest guy who obviously has a good relationship to his folks,
which is a good think (he could have lied and said he did it while wanking). The best
way to handle this situation is with humor. If/when you meet them, don't apologize
for fucking their son so hard you snapped his willy in half, just leave it and if THEY
mention it, make a little joke like "yes, we were "driving" recklessly that evening"
and let it slide. They are probably proud of their son for being open, honest and having
wild sex like they surely used to.
Q.
I am a 31-year-old brother and my girlfriend, age 23 and I got engaged 3 months ago. Recently she got all dolled up and went out with the girls. They went out dancing and she came home around 3am in a giggly, sexy mood and I am pleased she had fun. We start making out and she says she needs to go to the bathroom. I could hear the shower going so I go in to surprise her. She was washing her pussy and a load of cum was sliding down her leg. I wiped it off and smelt it. It was 100% cum! I stormed out and slept over one of my homies houses. DEVASTATED DOES NOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL. I demanded the truth and she admitted EVERYTHING; some guy bought her drinks, she sat in his lap and he felt up her legs and arse then he got his dick out under her skirt and she sat on it. Later they fucked again out the back of the club. Of course she used the “drunk" excuse. She has apologized 50 times already. I don't know what the fuck to do.
Shittin’ Kittens
A.
Although I am aware that being 100% physically true is almost impossible, she crossed the line by putting you in GREAT danger. Had you not walked in and snatched the cum wad from her thigh, you would have never known. She can’t be trusted. The worst part is she didn't use a condom. This cannot be tolerated. If she that ignorant and irresponsible that she can go fuck a stranger in a bar without a condom, why would you want to keep her around? If you stay with her your self-esteem, confidence and most importantly your life will be in constant state of fear and danger. Show the whore the door.
Q.
My boyfriend and I have great sex but whenever he is about to ejaculate he withdraws and wanks over my tits or face or stomach. He very rarely comes inside me. I have never had an orgasm with him because he always withdraws and wanks over me. I am then left feeling frustrated. I have been with him 2 years but don’t know how to talk to him about this. He watches a lot of porn and I think that because most of the porn he watches this is what the blokes do, he thinks that is the norm.
Frustrated Fiona
A.
Men shoot their spunk over a woman for numerous reasons (1) In their subconscious they may think
the girl won't get pregnant if they pull out (2) It's fun to watch themselves mark their territory
(3) They are curious as to how exactly big that batch is.
He should be grateful he has such a good sport as a partner as some girls would get offended when a man sprays his baby gravy all over them. I am guessing he never asks about you having an orgasm and if not, you should learn to speak your mind. The fact that he is doing something that annoys you is partly your fault because how the fuck is he supposed to know it bothers you if you don't speak up? I assume he isn't a mind reader.
Just come right out and say, "Darling, would you stay with a girl who can't make you cum?” Then he will probably give you a dirty look and answer, "fuck no! why?" then you say, "well, I know it's
my fault for not saying anything, but I never, ever cum with you, in fact I would prefer you cum IN me sometimes, not just on me, so lets try something different please". If you don't whip up the courage
to say something, then you deserve to just be his loving cum rag.
Q.
I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months, and things have been great,
but are moving into a beyond the 'surface' stage of our relationship.I haven't
had something like this in awhile and he was very romantic and generous with his
word up until recently. He isn’t seeing someone else and he contacts me
regularly but the sweetness has faded a little. He’s very stressed at work
and the last time I saw him he looked tired and admitted that he takes on
too much and then feels overwhelmed. I freaked a little when he said he has to
find balance. I took it personally because when I had heard that before, it meant that they were
disappearing,and that perhaps I had done something to change their mind. In my heart, I know
he really cares about me, but I am afraid. He’s invited me to go with his family for
dinner next week, but that urgency to see me has faded and he’s really putting himself
first these past days.I understand that, but I still get fearful that my romantic guy won't come
back. I apologized for the mini-freak out and explained to him my fears. He was all ears
and philosophical about it. I just wish I could relax and not worry so much. Any thoughts?
Fearful Freda
A.
You need to chill. Men can smell insecurity, fear and doubt like a dog
can smell another dogs ass miles away.
It’s natural for things to calm after a few months. The only way to keep things
really spicy is to only see each other once a week, but then you can never really
get closer. You’re hooked on that romantic high; that addictive butterfly effect
a fresh
love has on everyone, but love never stays that intoxicating. Eventually romance turns
into a familiarity; there is no way of avoiding it. We would all like our lover to be
mad about us, to imagine they only think of us when they wank, but it's just bullshit;
that only exists in romance flicks.
You shouldn’t have freaked out. Less words and tantrums; more confidence and calm will
prevent them from disappearing. Men need space, patience and above all, less drama.
Realize that you are worth hanging around for and try to feel so happy in your
own shell, that even if you were alone, you would be fine. Men can sense that
and feel free. Just like being in a room alone with a cat, if you close the door,
the cat wants OUT now. If you leave the door a bit open, he will want to sit on
your lap and pine for your attention.
Sarah Palin: would you want her running the USA?
If McCain wins, then crokes (strong possibility), then Sarah (anti-abortion, pro wolf killing, GILF) Palin will be running America. Now I REALLY can't sleep soundly. OMFG.
Jimmy Carl Black (the Indian of the group)
Burning candle at both ends (as usual)
Last night (Thursday) I massaged Gene Simmons (we watched the pathetic Republican Convention- what a crock of SHIT that was). Then directly after Jim Norton (comedian you see on most Comedy Central Roasts and you hear every morning if you get the Opy and Anthony show). I have known Jim, who wrote a book called "Happy Endings", for years. Hmmmm, he has never asked for one, so I wonder wtf that is about? lol. Jim is a self confessed massage WHORE, he gets them all the time, mostly from me, but if I am away, from my team or other therapists, he has to have them.
I am so tired I am going to cry. It is 9am and I am STILL up. By the way, Gene is in NYC because he just appeared on the Today Show. From Gene's blog:
GENE SIMMONS Keynote Speaker
at AARP CONVENTION, WASH DC
Heading out to NY to do the TODAY SHOW to promo my forthcoming Keynote Speech at the Annual AARP CONVENTION on September 6th in Washington DC, in front of 30,000 people.
Then head off to Toronto on September 7th for a Charity Event hosted by Magna, the world's largest auto parts entity.
Gene is so fucking cool, omg!Oh, he turned me on to a show I have never heard of, probably because it's on the Cartoon Network lol, It's called Robot Chicken . WICKED FUNNY.
The night before, I went and saw one of my best friends, Jonesy , do his live stand up comedy act at the EastVille Comedy club . He is there every Wednesday. Super funny!!! I predict Jonesy is going to be as big as Jim Carrey someday, mark my words. He is the fucking BOMB!! We are both New Englanders and have the same smart ass sense of humor. We bond!
I can't write anymore, I am falling asleep here. The sun is out, it looks like it will be another scorcher! Oh, last night in NYC, I saw numerous Cock Roachers! OMFG!! They are everywhere (so is garbage). I do miss the clean streets of Berlin right about now. I was talking to a woman on the street out side the hotel I I massaged Gene at, and a fucking Cock Roach landed on her neck. We both flipped out, hysterical, screaming, omfg!!!!! She said some of them can fly? Holy fuck, if it landed on me, I would have passed out. I loathe those seedy mother fuckers.
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Our new flyer
On the actual flyer it has my phone numbers on it, but I colored over it for the net, too many folks calling my number to chat, I am too busy to discuss the weather unfortunately
You likey?