My favorite web site: www.freerice.com (get smarter & feed the world simultaneously)
Click HERE to discover "Free Rice" my favorite web site, that challenges your intelligence, teaches you and simultaneously feeds the world.
< Free Rice 🙂
No, this is not spam, no, I was not hacked (this week),
x
Dr. Dot
Warning, it's addictive!
About FreeRice
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Ask Dr. Dot (the Bitch is back)
Q.
I can not sleep with another person. I don't mean sexually, I mean literally. I can not
sleep next to another person (just my cat) This has offended many women. Can this be corrected?
Lester the Loner
A.
Funny you mention that, as I have the same problem. I can't even sleep in the same room
as another person. You are not alone. In fact, I think it stems from being a light sleeper
and/or fear of intimacy. Face it, when you sleep next to someone, it becomes a habit. It
can make you dependent on that person when you equate them with sleep. For me it is more
intimate than sex. It could also be just not wanting to hear another person scratching,
tossing and tossing off, farting and snoring all through the night. There is nothing wrong
with you. Just explain to them sleep is a very personal thing for you, and since your mind
is so busy working on saving the world, it is hard for you to turn it off and any distraction
at all will disrupt your badly needed rest. If you are shagging your partner properly, they
shouldn't mind where, when or how you sleep, as they will be too tired to give a shit.
Q.
I hate to use condoms, my cock goes limp when I put one on. I prefer to pull out right before I
cum, by how can I convince my new girlfriend to waiver the condom rule?
Raincoat dodger
A.
It is not her fault if you can't stay hard enough for a condom, so it's ignorant and rude to try to
make her screw you without one so you can get your rocks off. If she prefers safe sex, respect her for
that. Now about that pull out myth….
Pre-cum, which is that clear liquid that seeps out of your dick during foreplay and intercourse
has loads of sperm in it too. There is a high chance of some sperm left in the urethra mixing with
the new precum Even before you cum which can get her pregnant. You are playing with
fire if you screw without a condom on. An expensive, dangerous fire. Only if you are in a monogamous
Relationship for a long time, where you both had time to be tested for nasty diseases, you
trust each other, AND if she is taking birth control, should you have sex without one. This "pulling
out" method is a good idea, but is about as dependable as a wet paper bag.
Q.
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year now and the sex was great, and
now the past 2 months my boyfriend cums in about 3 min. He used to be able to
last awhile. Why does he get off so fast?
Ms. Loveme Longtime
A.
He is getting lazy and selfish.
Time to rock the boat. Make him lick you until you cum, and then he can enjoy his
3 minutes. Tell him you are getting bored with the quickies. Men like a girl who
can speak up and says what she wants, especially in bed.
< comfort zone
Q.
I am facing a dilemma I have no clue how to handle, and it’s getting
quite frustrating. This is what's going on:
I am completely in love with my girlfriend. Though we have only been together
for a year, we spend every day together, and I would love to do so for the rest
of my life. I am in no way unsure of my emotional feelings toward her, but I
have another problem.
I don't know why, but I have always been very interested in sodomy. I don't know
why, it's not a conscious decision.
She has given me head a few times, though she has only done it until I came on
two separate occasions. One time she swallowed, and the other time she didn't. I
know how other people's sex lives are often void of oral, so I don't see myself
as incredibly unfortunate, but there's one thing that tips the scales, and that
is that I frequently go down on her. It'll usually happen about 3-4 times a
week, if not more, and it’s not very rare for twice in a day.
Don't get me wrong, I love doing it, and I am very good at it, as she comes
every time. But I feel like our sex life is very one sided. I've tried talking
to her about it, but all I get are answers like, "I just don't feel like it" or
"Do we have to do it all the time for our sex life to be good?" (I don't
understand how that last one even applies though, because she's getting some
practically every night.) I don't know how to stress this point well enough to
her, without seeming like a sex hungry jerk. I also suffer from the fact that I
was in a different relationship about two years ago, and that girl gave me head
all the time, (almost nightly) and we did anal once. (That's when I got my thing
for it.)
I guess my question is what makes you enjoy giving head? I love giving her head,
and I've asked her once, maybe twice, if she liked doing so to me, and all I get
is an "I don't mind." I feel very unsatisfied, and seeing as I please her with
my tongue on an almost nightly basis, I feel she should do the same.
I do not want a "Doing it because I have to" blowing though. That sounds
horrible.
Hungry for Head
A.
First of all, stop eating her out. When she asks why you stopped, tell her "I
don't feel like it" or "do I have to in order for our sex life to be good?"
She should get the fucking message loud and clear. She is selfish and spoiled by
your eager mouth.
I really think you want anal sex because it reminds you so much of your ex who
satisfied your oral cravings, like a good girlfriend should.
Look what happened to Bill Clinton when he wasn't getting head from Hilary. Stop
giving and you will start receiving.
It is clear you are more into her, then she is into you. She is obviously into
sex, as she lets you lick her clean every night, so it just boils down to her
being selfish and just not into your cock like she should be.
ps. Maybe you and "Loveme Longtime" should get together
Q.
If a girl swallows for you does it mean something? I mean
do women swallow on one nighters? What does it signify?
Delighted but scared
A.
It means you hit the Jack Pot. Some may scoff and label such a willing
creature to be too promiscuous; down right slutty. Then again, it takes
two to tango; two to be naughty enough to give it up on the first “date”.
When a woman swallows you, it means she accepts you completely;
she REALLY likes you. She’s a keeper 😉
Feel free to send me your questions. I never use a person's real name, so fire away:
drdot@drdot.com
x
Dr. Dot
Hackers are fucking cowards
A person I know, who I thought was a very close friend, finally confessed to hacking my email, myspace and even bank account. I simply can not find it in me to write a sweet, funny, entertaining blog right now. I have so much to write about but can not find the right energy. I am floored. The lies, the deceit.. it has actually made me physically ill.
First they said their "friend" did it. Then they said THEY asked their friend to do it, then finally the big truth, that THEY actually did it themselves. They showed me the proof, showed me conversations I have had per email, on myspace and told me exactly how much I have on my bank account. What the FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some people have told me to "change your passwords!", I appreciate the help and advice, but that does NOT help! I used to trust this person and they have been on my lap top, so they had the chance, if they wanted, to install trojans, spyware, etc, to open ports and shut down my firewall. They have access because I use wireless etc, they may have installed a key logger even, so they can read EVERYTHING I write, anywhere, online. They told me how they did it even!! Guess it helps them look in the mirror; helps them sleep. They even tried to tell me they did it as a FAVOR to show me my system is not secure. I have to buy a MAC, which I will do in a week or two..
It is sick that you can't trust anyone. "I am a rock, I am in Island"
I hope I wake up out of this shock soon as I have a lot to say. I hope this shit never, ever happens to you.
Question: What do you think would be easier to forgive: Your lover cheated on you with another, or you found out a CLOSE friend (or lover) hacked into your email and has been reading it for a few months..
Would you forgive them? Could you forgive and forget?
Back in Berlin
Omg, been so busy it's insane. Just got back from London, where I was since last Sunday massaging Simon Cowell, who is by FAR my all time favorite massage client. I will do a blog about London and the Rod Stewart show I worked at but I have to sleep a day or two lol..
Jasmine is in NYC and I am so nervous I can barely sleep, so that is adding to the sleeping disorder here.. Berlin is freezing, damp and dark (when I go to bed it's dark, when I get up it's dark). One good thing about that is you don't have to worry about sun damage to your skin 
Frank Zappa’s Inca Roads butchered by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
"This is the only Frank Zappa song, that I allow" Anthony Kiedis, singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers (extremely over rated band)
If you can figure out what the fuck he is saying, please let me know. Sounds like "this is the only Frank Zappa song I allow to exist" but he wouldn't dare say that, would he?
Sigh. Jasmine leaves for NYC on Sunday, I leave for the UK shortly after. Lots to do, little time to do it. I still have to write my Rod Stewart blog and pack.
I saw the Temptations in concert tonight. Came in at half time, missing the Four Tops 🙁
Great show but they played in the Tempodrome, which has the WORST acoustics in Berlin. Shaped like a big TeePee, all the sound echoes and sounds shallow, it's really bad. Anyhow, gotta get some shut eye, will write more asap.
x
Arturo Vega in Berlin, part 2
Ask Dr. Dot October 28 2007
Q.
I'm married to the hottest chick ever. We have two awesome young kids, a great apt.
good jobs and are 100% faithful to each other in mind and body. However she is literally
addicted to "mom" chat rooms, "Myspace" and the computer in general. Subsequently our
sex life has all but disappeared.
Before the computer came along we had vibrant, frequent, imaginative and mutually fulfilling sex.
These days I'm lucky if we have sex once a month. When we do, it is under the covers, lights
off and late at night. I come home with flowers, wine, cook diner and get the kids to sleep.
Is she waiting for me in the bedroom in a black lacy garter belt, thigh high fishnets, half
cup bra and spiked leather collar like she used to?
No. She is not. Instead she says, "Don't pressure me to go to bed! I'm on the computer right now!
" I am frustrated, hurt and miserable. How do I get my wife off the computer and back into the bedroom?
Desperate for the solution,
Cuckolded by the computer.
A.
Having children usually does dampen the sex life of most couples. It's not them that do it, but
the task of being parents that sadly lets sex fall low on the list of priorities. Kids should and
do come first for most mothers but this chat room shit has got to stop. I got bored just reading
about it. Thing is, if you are making a decent salary, it may be worth it to stop buying flowers
and wine and invest in a part time, trust worthy nanny to help with the mundane chores which would
then give your wife more free time to tend to the kids, work out, buy sexy panties, etc.
You could maybe bargain with her and tell her you are willing to trade (nanny for her, more time
and sex for you both).
You may have to write her a romantic note and tell her you are sad that she gives people she has
never met (and will probably never meet) her undivided attention. The net is a double edged sword.
It helps so many people but yet kills so many marriages and sex lives. You really have to speak up
and tell her sweetly you feel neglected and miss her. If telling her nicely doesn't work, unplug
the PC and wisk her away in your arms to bed, even if she's throwing a tantrum, she has to see
the light or lose a good man.
Q.
I was thinking about an advice column you wrote a few weeks ago about internet relationships…
I have been involved (business & friendship) with a girl in Belgium for a long time. However,
we grew closer & closer. I admit to letting my dick do the thinking instead of my brain, but
I finally came to the conclusion to break this entire thing off.
She's a married woman who has no problem cheating on her husband with me (someone she's never met in person.).
Because of that I feel I cannot trust her. If she'll lie & cheat on someone she's been married to for
YEARS and has a child with, why wouldn't she fuck me over too?
Am I wrong here? I will miss her friendship so I am sad. but I think I’m doing the right thing by
getting out of this shitstorm of emotions and focusing on the REAL people I can look in the eye.
It was your column that opened my eyes to the situation, and no matter how much it hurts now,
I do think it's the right thing. I just want a non bias opinion. After all, you're the doctor…
Wide awake Wade
A.
You hit the nail on the head. Even though it’s almost normal in Europe to have affairs, the fact you
already can’t trust her is a giant red flag and what if you don’t even click when you meet?
Use your new found free time to meet local ladies instead. All the smoke and mirrors one can hide behind
online can be very misleading and disappointing. Love never comes with insurance but that situation
sounded way too risky.
Q.
When I think about proposing to my lady I feel tears approaching; is it ok to cry in front of your woman?
I have given her 4
years of strength; if I show emotion will she think less of me?
Mr. Softie
A.
It’s normal to leak tears in such special moments, such
as proposals, the birth of your first child or when you both
cum at the same time, you know, big moments, don’t sweat it, just do it.
Q.
Is it true that if someone sucks on my boobs for a few weeks that I will produce milk?
Busty Britney
A.
Even if you’re not pregnant, when the breast are sucked on a few times a day for a few weeks,
they will make milk. The suction makes the body think there must be a baby around and it produces milk.
You would have to find someone to suck on your tits at least 3 times a day and for 20 minutes each time
in order for that to work. In the past, some women went through this to wet nurse. Certain female
aristocrats who didn't want to breast feed would hire a wet nurse (a woman to nurse their baby).
Sometimes the wet nurse had a baby of her own, but it wasn’t necessary. Some men go nuts over
lactating breasts, so if you have the time and a willing feeder, it can be a sexy (but tedious) adventure.
Q.
My boyfriend says I need to learn how to give better head. It hurts my neck, so I never do it for long. It's not like I can take a class
or something. Any tips for me?
Eager Ester
A.
Make him sit on the corner of a bed. You kneel down on your knees (this will
prevent your neck form hurting).
Take his cock into your hand (your best hand, if you are left handed, use your
left hand, if you are right handed, use your right hand).
Hold his cock very firm, imagine the whole time how it feels for his cock.
Just like us girls like a big fat cock, men like a small, tight, wet, pussy.
Suck on the tip of the cock and at the same time, use your hand to hold it
tightly but move it like he is fucking a pussy, you know, stroke it , He
should only notice that you have it in your mouth, he should not see or notice
the hand much. Keep it wet so your hand slides nicely while you keep the head
of the cock in your mouth. Your mouth and hand should work together, the same
pace, the same direction, the same stroke. Ask him once, "does this feel good
baby?" and if he says yes, KEEP doing it, until he cums and when he cums,
don't miss a beat, let him cum in your mouth, and store some of cum in your
cheeks like a hamster does food, and swallow a tiny bit at a time so you dont
choke. He will be happy that you swallow his cum!
and try to look him in the eyes once in a while when you blow him, this makes
him know that you accept him, which is VERY important for a guy.
Act like you LOVE to suck his cock, that you can't get enough of blowing him
and he will go crazy over you!!
Make sure you blow him for a little bit, and say "is this how you want to cum
later? In my mouth?". Then fuck him or make him eat you, and make you cum,
THEN blow him again until he cums, he will be yours forever.
Harry Connick, Jr.
For the last year, Harry Connick, Jr. and his entourage has been using my massage team while on tour. I know the managers Ted and Tom very well and they love our team. Harry does too. I had never met Harry until this past wednesday, but that never stopped him from talking about our massage team WHILE on stage, during his show. He has done this a few times already. The managers and my massage assistants have reported back to me "Harry spoke about us on stage, he said "I want to thank Dr. Dot and her wonderful massage team for making us feel good" etc. This is the BEST form of PR one could ever hope for. How sweet is he to do such a thing?
My heart was melting each time I head that. What a man I thought. EVERYONE on my massage team that has massaged Harry and his entourage was taken by his charm and their warm hearts. I have been anticipating meeting him myself for a long time now.
I spent Tuesday massaging Arturo in the Ramones museum (video to come) and then Tuesday night massaging Tom, one of Harry's managers (artist usually have a few with them: tour, production, assistant, etc). Then Wednesday I went to the Schiller Theater to massage them all. I had been there a few times before, namely to massage Hans Klock , the Dutch Magician, who has since carved a huge name for himself engaging Pamela Anderson in his new Las Vegas based act.
< Happy + proud to say, this is a standard view of the backstage area of most
Harry Connick, Jr. shows
The Schiller Theater must be an OLD building as many folks on the entourage were agreeing that it looks like Adolf used to hang out in there. It has a big Nazi feel to it, really. It's scary!!
I hung out while Harry napped and massaged his lovely assistant Megan. Young girl from NYC, suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper sweet. She went to wake Harry and told him "you know that massage team "www.drdot.com" we always use? Well, the REAL Dr. Dot is here today to massage you". He came out of his dressing room all sleepy eyed (read: cute) and saw me sitting there and said "You're the real Dr. Dot!??" and before I could even answer, he said "You're GREAT Dr. Dot!!" . I was laughing so hard. He is SO sweet!! His Southern accent and genuine way of speaking and looking you in the eye is so refreshing. I told him "how do you know? I haven't massaged you yet" and he went on to say he loves my team and can't wait to get a massage from me later.
The sound check started. I counted at least 14 people in his band. Big band set up, which has a swing/jazz vibe to it .He stood facing the band, conducting them and singing without a microphone along to the music. I heard that he is VERY spontaneous, never has a set list and this keeps EVERYONE on their toes, especially the sound techs. He has a cult following and has sold over 40 million records. I had never seen him live before so I was excited to see what he was all about. The sound check took hours because it was their first day back after a tiny break. He is a perfectionist, I could tell, like Mr. Zappa. The band was tight so all the hard work pays off. There aren't that many artist today, that write all their own music, lyrics, sing the songs themselves and play at the same time. There are a few, but not enough in my opinion. He is extremely talented and the show sounded PERFECT.
The Schiller Theater is one of those venues that do not allow you to simply go in and out of the main hall without assistants. As in, they don't want people making any noise, disturbing the crowd or audience, so if you leave to piss, the guard will have to escort you back in ONCE the song is over. The Germans really take the spectator thingy to a whole different level. Which is good, as they REALLY pay attention when someone is on stage. They are not talking about their love life, children or what they ate earlier to their friends during the show. I wanted to view some of the show, but not all as it was hot as hell in there and maybe someone else wanted a massage during the show (management, truck drivers ,etc).
So I like to pop in and out, which is tricky in such a venue. I sat at the sound board for a few songs and I can tell you, the sound was absolutely PERFECT. It sounded like you were in his recording studio with him. His piano playing, voice, band, were all flawless. No wonder he has such a big following. It doesn't hurt that he is extremely attractive either. The ladies were melting. No wonder it was so fucking hot and moist in there.
Speaking of truck drivers, I got along really well with an English driver named Al. He made me laugh and blush till my face hurt. Told me how everyone on tour now a days has to multi-task. It's not enough to just be a driver anymore, you have to also run the spot lights. Same with tour managers, they usually end up being the body guard or running a monitor or two during the show. I feel bad for the people who tour for a living, it's hard work, they get lonely and massage is the least I can contribute to the people who make live music a reality. Bless their hearts.
I was wondering why every one had NOLA written on their hats, shirts, etc. Nola is short for New Orleans, that is where Harry is from and that is the name of his current album too. The stage was set up to look like you were in New Orleans. Street lamps and all. There was no opening act and I am almost certain the show was about 3 hours long.
After the show, we all went out back to leave for the hotel and Harry was surrounded by fans and he took his time making sure everyone got their autograph. He is really nice to his fans. They weren't just female fans, it was 50% male, 50% female.
A driver was packing my massage table into a van and I was about to step into it as Harry approached his limo and he said "Dr. Dot! I want you to ride with me! I want to get to know you, get in!". He said this rather loud and everyone heard. I said ok, and hopped into his car with him. Makes perfect sense, as if we don't chat in the car, we would waste precious massage minutes chatting. Not good.
So, in the back of the car, there was Harry and I and in the front, the driver and his assistant, Megan. Harry was full of questions about my massage team. How did I start out? When did I start out? He was also full of compliments, saying how brilliant an idea it was and how great each one on my team is. We both laughed about the nut case I had to fire in Vancouver. I won't mention her name, but she did give a good massage but otherwise she was a fucking NUT! First of all, my team lost the Buck Cherry account because of her. The guitarist Jimmy gave me his cell number ages ago, and said to have my team check in with him to see if he or the rest of the lads want massage at each stop on their tour. Dumb ass up in Vancouver CALLED him at 8am, demanding to know how much she would be making, how long they would want her there and if she would be fed. Naturally he told her to fuck off and hung up on here because NO ONE in the biz should be disturbed before NOON! Artist should never be disturbed before like 4pm, managers noon. What a dumb bitch. She claimed she didn't know (yeah right, rock stars get up at 8am every day, wtf?) so I gave her another chance.
Big mistake. At the Harry Connick, Jr. show in Vancouver, she was in the massage room with Harry and instead of going out of the room and letting him get undressed and get on the table, she stood there watching. Trying to be polite, he said "oh, you can come back in a minute" and she just said "no, that's fine, I'm ok" and just stood there and watched him undress like a horny dude watches strippers undress. THEN during the face massage, she looked deep into his eyes and went off about how she can "see into his soul" and how she "knew what he was thinking" and how they were "as one" blah fucking BLAH, what a freak!! You should not talk during a massage let alone talk BULLSHIT during a massage. I hate that voo-doo bullshit some therapist pull out their asses during a massage. Less voo-doo please, and more fucking massage work!!
She freaked him out so bad, he had to stop the massage and leap off the table, grabbing his clothes and beat feeting it out the door. Then management tried to politely ask her to leave, but she hid! No one could find her. She ended up in the press pit or some shit like that and then once she was brought backstage demanded to be fed. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nightmare from hell.
Harry and I had a laugh about her. He said that he never would let one rotten egg spoil a dozen good eggs, and all was forgiven. In fact, it was me who brought her up, he had already "forgotten about her". Whew! 🙂
Harry asked me many questions, he was wide eyed and all ears, listening to my story of how I became Dr. Dot and formed my team of "Dot bots" as many people on tour cunningly name my assistants. Then, he started dialing on his iPone as I was still talking and he interrupted me by starting a conversation with his wife back in NYC "Honey, you know what? I am riding next to the legendary Dr. Dot!". I swear to God I am not making this up. I was smiling ear to ear, as was Megan in the front seat, it was SO CUTE! He then went on to tell her how he always uses my team but this time he was about to get a massage from the "REAL Dr. Dot!". OMG, I was in heaven. I love it when people are so into massages. He definitely LOVES massage.
And as I found out during the massage, he loves DEEP TISSUE massage. I mean, seriously deep tissue. I was trying my hardest to make him whine from pain, and sadly, I could not. I mean, am I getting old? Losing my painful touch? Or is Harry Connick, Jr. made of some secret steel found only in New Orleans? No music or talking, the room was silent for over two hours. I was sweating my ass off trying to go as deep as possible. Finally found a spot where I could make him at least acknowledge my "hands of steel", the arch of his feet. I can go mad deep on the feet. yay! He did say several times during the massage that it felt great, but I had the feeling I wasn't strong enough. He is a solid man, solid as a rock… super fit!!
Normally I ask artist/stars to pose for a picture before the massage as I know I will make them an oiling, puffy mess from the massage. Harry opted to pose after the massage. Takes a brave person to do that lol, I know I would avoid posing after I get a massage at all cost as I am puffy and greasy, hair looks like Nick Nolte's did after his arrest (mug shot), but hey, Harry still looks amazing. Those blue eyes, oh LAWD!
My gay uncle Jack is thrilled I finally massaged Harry, as he was a regular on Will & Grace for ages, so he has a big gay following too.. I heard he has been in a few movies too, but I haven't seen them..
Anyways, I am mad impressed by Harry and his talent. He is on tour, so if you read that he is heading towards your area, go see him, it's worth every cent, every minute of your time. Pure pleasure.
Click HERE to see a great video of Harry's
x
TOUR DATES:
10/29/07 Antwerp, Bel Queen Elizabeth Hal
10/30/07 Paris, Fra Grand Rex
11/03/07 London, UK Royal Albert hall
Nov 5 Madrid, Spain Teatro Circo Price
Nov 6 Malaga, Spain Teatro Cervantes
Nov 7 Zaragoza, Spain Sala Multiusos
Nov 10 Barcelona, Spain Palau de la Música
11/13/07 Dublin, Ire RDS Main Hall
11/14/07 Belfast, UK Waterfront Hall
11/16/07 Glasgow, UK Clyde Auditorium
11/17/07 Birmingham, UK Symphony Hall
11/18/07 Birmingham, UK Symphony Hall
And last but not least, I showed some of the Harry Connick, Jr. crew around Berlin^
Chip, Aj and Scott