Book me: info@drdot.com and write: ” Penny/Perth” in subject line
DOT BOT – Perth, Australia PENNY-LEE Like many of us on the team and Dr Dot herself, I realized my calling in life at a young age, having been blessed with the gift of ‘magic’ or healing hands. I have now been a qualified massage therapist for over 20 years. I absolutely love what I do and I am told that my intuition, energy and experience makes that clearly evident. Like all therapists, we are trained in many different modalities, however, the delivery of my treatments tend to be centred around deep tissue lymphatic drainage and medical massage, incorporating unique techniques and movements that I have developed over the years. I have taught and practiced my craft in Australia, the United States of America, Canada, Dubai and the Channel Island of Jersey. I have been extremely privileged to work in conjunction with many talented and varied doctors, surgeons, chiropractors and other therapists, treating celebrities, sports personalities and ‘regular Joes’ alike. I have worked onboard luxury cruise-ships, in hospitals (both traditional and alternative), in private homes, hotel suites, boats and yachts and in private practice. I have recently returned to my native Perth and am delighted to join the Dr Dot team. It is refreshing to be connected with other like-minded (and handed!) professionals. Like a lot of us, I have very small, but very strong hands. They say good things come in small packages! I look forward to treating you, either again or for the first time, next time you visit this beautiful city.
Book me: info@drdot.com and write: “Brendy/Jacksonville” in subject line
Hi I’m Brendy
As a child, massage for tight shoulders and headache relief came to me naturally. My family and friends spread my reputation as a helper and a healer. My vocation was set. As of 2012 I have 11 years of experience as a LMT. I travel to home, offices, hotels, and have been employed with several spas and chiropractic offices. Over the years I have learned the leading edge techniques in therapeutic massage and specialize in Sports massage and trigger point therapy.
In 2006 I discovered Trigger point therapy and perfected the technique by studying the human anatomy charts and implementing my findings in my therapeutic massage sessions. These sessions began changing the quality of life and improved the health and well being of my clients, my reputation brought me in contact with many who suffered with chronic pain (tendinitis, carpal tunnel, frozen shoulder, low back spasms, chronic headaches, restless legs, and tingling in the hands and feet…..just to name a few.
Trigger point therapy has shown to be rewarding with immediate results without the need for surgery or being trapped in a medicated fog!
If you or anyone of your staff are suffering with chronic pain….. I’m your girl!!
***For those who are interested***
I have developed a 2 hr. trigger point therapy session geared toward discovering the real issue behind your aches and pain improving your range of motion and lack of mobility giving your muscles a chance to recover.
I have great skills when it comes to full body therapeutic massage as well, releasing trapped tension caused by every day stressors.
I am so excited to be a Dot Bot, and look forward to the opportunity to meet you during your stay here in Jacksonville!!!
Contact me: info@drdot.com and write “Mike/CT” in the subject line, thanks
Greetings and salutations! My name is Mike, and massage has been a part of my lifestyle my entire life.
I graduated from the Connecticut School of Massage Therapy, and specialize in Deep Tissue, Swedish, and Sports Massage. I am licensed, nationally certified, and an active member of the AMTA of which I am a member of the Sports Massage and Community Service Teams.
I am currently attending classes for craniosacral therapy, and have completed levels 1,2, & 3 of the Qigong Science Foundation for breathing and healing techniques. I work at several wellness centers in the Hartford area providing massage to a broad range of clients, of which several are classically trained musicians, and professional athletes as well.
I have been practicing martial arts for 40 years, and hold a seventh degree black belt in the art of KaJuKenBo, as well as extensive study in Aikido and Arnis. Healing is fundamental to martial arts, and massage is the perfect way for me to integrate that aspect into my life.
I attended my first concert at the age of 17, it was 1968, and I was totally blown away by the Jimi Hendrix Experience at the gymnasium of Stony Brook University. It was full speed ahead after that (back then you could see a show for $5)! Hooking up with Dr. Dot was of course a natural fit. So give me a call and let me melt that tension right out of your body!
So I was invited by Slipknot to come to the Download festival in Derby England to set up backstage and massage them and they even let me bring two Dot Bots with me, Tyler and Lucy. We arrived one night early and stayed at a hotel near by. Lucy had her niece with her the first night, Mya and it was fun being Aunt Dotty all night, bringing her out to eat and spoiling her. She is a tough little girl, reminds me of myself when I was her age in many ways, not just the way she looks.
Michelle, or “Tyler” as she likes to call herself and Matt, a VIP tour manager we know and love.
Slipknot LOVES the Dr. Dot massage team, they get massages from us at pretty much every stop of their tours, we love them too. WILD music I tell ya!
Even Catering was rockin’ out ^ All the bands that played the 3 day festival signed this poster – who the fuck knows who ended up getting it. Lucky bastard.
Hello & Welcome to “Paradise at the End of the Road”! My name is Nina and I’m a certified massage practitioner providing
Shiatsu
Reflexology
Thai massage
at The Secret Garden Day Spa in the coastal village of Placencia. Belize. I offer deep-tissue bodywork using a blend of effleurage, petrissage, lomi lomi, & tapotement. In other words, a really GREAT FULL BODY MASSAGE!
I was born to an unwed 15 yr. old, relinquished for adoption and spent my childhood wondering “who am I”? Having a passion for theatre and dance, I studied ballet with the dream of becoming famous and recognized by my biological family. My adoptive father would spend hours massaging my sore feet but stardom was not meant to be! After teaching dance for a while, I became a private investigator and for many years helped people find their biological family. Albeit extremely rewarding, I sought meditation, yoga, and acupressure touch as an antidote to the high stress levels.
Today I enjoy making a difference in people’s lives not just spiritually and emotionally but on a more physical level. I studied with the Raynor School of Natural Therapies, Hawaii and am currently a member of the International Natural Therapists Association and continue to study holistic healing.
I am impressed with Dr. Dot’s high standards and ethics and am proud to be a member of the Dr. Dot team. I look forward to the privilege of providing a healing touch to your body & mind. Please … come relax, rejuvenate, & rebalance. Experience the difference. Contact Dr Dot and I’ll see you in Placencia. Mobile services are available to your hotel room or cabanna.
The last few days I spent in Berlin, I was living off of 4 to 5 hours of sleep and loads of extra stress. I had ONE hour of sleep the “night” before I left for NYC so when I got on the plane, I was craving shut eye something fierce.
Finally back in NYC and started massaging as soon as I hit the ground.
Got a message that Adam of Maroon 5 wants a massage ASAP…
This was taken the last time I massaged Adam ^ and you can see his left arm wasn’t covered yet in his new tattoo:
Maroon 5 is on tour and I am handling their massage needs (sending out Dot Bots to any show they want a massage at) but Adam is in town just to finish his sleeve tattoo ^ above. I think it looks fucking awesome. Forgot the name of the tattoo artist, but I know it wasn’t done at Last Writes (where I had mine done).
Closer look ^
Anyways, after I massaged Adam I had to rush over to massage Billy Idol’s manager. I have also been taking care of the Billy Idol tour, massage wise. Going to see his show tomorrow here in the city. Super excited as he has BrianTichy on drums, I LOVE watching Brian play. OMG!!
Jasmine starts University tomorrow, another OMG. We are preparing and getting ready to move her into her dorm tomorrow early. Sleep is a thing of the past for me. Still getting over 400 emails per day too. I can hear my heart beating, it’s that loud. Heart attack approaching soon, stay tuned. lol. PLUS all of my regular clients all want a massage (They say they have been waiting months) and every friend and relative all want to chat on the phone, I am gonna snap. Hoping things settle down soon, but that is never the case when you are anywhere near NYC. This place is alive and kicking and the energy it radiates is contagious and can not be stopped. The weather here is AMAZING. Hot, sunny, nice breeze!! FINALLY I got a bit of summer. YAY!!
Jasmine wants to go power walking, gotta go
x
ps.NEWEST Maroon 5 tour dates:
Maroon 5 2013
02/25 Grand Rapids, MI- Van Andel Arena
02/27 Kansas City, MO- Sprint Center < Dr. Zach
03/01 Moline, IL- I Wireless Center
03/03 Omaha, NE- CenturyLink Center Omaha
03/04 Saint Paul, MN- Xcel Energy Center
03/07 Calgary, AB- Scotiabank Saddledome
03/09 Vancouver, BC- Rogers Arena
03/11 Seattle, WA- KeyArena at Seattle Center
03/13 San Jose, CA- HP Pavilion at San Jose
03/15 Los Angeles, CA- Staples Center
03/16 Las Vegas, NV- Mandalay Bay Events Center
03/19 Houston, TX- Toyota Center
03/21 Dallas, TX- American Airlines Center < ABBY
03/22 Tulsa, OK- BOK Center
03/24 Nashville, TN- Bridgestone Arena
03/26 Birmingham, AL- BJCC Arena
03/27 Atlanta, GA- Philips Arena < ALICE
03/29 Sunrise, FL- BB&T Center
03/30 Orlando, FL- Amway Center
04/01 Jacksonville, FL- Jacksonville Veterans Mem. Arena < BRANDI
04/03 Washington, DC- Verizon Center
04/04 Philadelphia, PA- Wells Fargo Center
04/06 Rosemont, IL- Allstate Arena
Amazing Massage and Chiropractic Treatments 24/7, all over the world.
Call us if you:
A) Want a certified massage therapist handle you with care
B) Want your artist/tour/venue to have certified, screened, trusted massage therapist on call for you, all organized
by Dr. Dot personally (runs TIGHT ship)
C) Are a certified, licensed Massage therapist and are yearning to work with a very organized, fair and happy team
www.drdot.com
Dr. Dot has massaged some of the biggest names in show biz over the last 20 years.
Her talented hands and strong ambition have earned her a place in the hearts of the
stars she massages and has expanded her business to reach all over Europe and the USA.
Now she has massage assistants who can treat the stars when she can’t be there personally.
Everyone on our team is certified, licensed, put under contract, wears our company t-shirt,
has their own company business cards, is on our web site (we have NOTHING to hide) and loves what they do.
“Dr. Dot gives the best massage in the world” – Sting
“Amazing hands” – Robert Plant
“Thanks for making me feel wonderful. Powerful massage” – Lauryn Hill
“You are damn strong for such a small woman” – The Undertaker (WWF)
“She eases the strain” – Henry Rollins
“Great for drummers” – Peter Criss
“If I could, I would have you massage me every day, all day. You rock!” – Courtney Love
“I love those hands!” – BoBo of Cypress Hill
“A really great massage!” – Bruce Willis
“Dr. Dot’s 4 hands rules” – Ice-T
“The Best massage of my life!” – Sylvia singer of the Killer Barbies
“Bite me again Dr. Dot” – Bella B of Die ƒrzte
“I really love your massage Dot” – Charlie Watts of The Rolling Stones
“Perfect Massage” – Ron Wood of the The Rolling Stones
“Thanks for fixin’ my lumpy neck! AWESOME!” – Dime Bag of Pantera
“I have never felt so relaxed before” – Joe Strummer
“Thanks, I’m a new man!” – Lou Koller singer of Sick of it all
“Dot you rule with the strongest hands in showbiz” – Josh of Queens of The Stone Age
“Great massage” – Cindy Blackman drums for Lenny Kravitz
“I love your hands!” – Maxi Jazz of Faithless
“OOH, AHHH, EEEEE, OOOO, AAHHHHHH” – Johnny 5 of Marylin Manson
“What a relief!” – Debby Harry ( Blondie)
“Can we bring your hands on tour with us?” – Justin Timberlake (at age 16)
“Dot kicked my ass!” – Proof (of D-12 and Eminem)
“I LOVE your hands Dot” – Paul Stanley of KISS
“That was an amazing massage” – Vin Diesel
“First massage of my life, I am now a fan” – Gene Simmons of KISS
“Lovely touch” – Mark Knopfler
“I feel like a new woman after that massage Dot” – Sheryl Crow
“Awesome foot rub!” – Marky Ramone
“Thanks for healing us man. Peace” – Carlos Santana
“Dot’s massage was the only thing that kept me going and going” – Sean, singer of Audioweb
“Your massage brought me back to life, you healed me baby!” – R. Kelly
“I love your massage Dot” – Eros Ramazotti
“Hands of STEEL” – Dave Navarro
“I remember it was very quiet, music playing on a boom box, the lights down low,” he told The Associated Press. “She was very professional. She also didn’t talk a lot, which I particularly liked.”
– Gene Simmons of KISS
– “Thanks a million” Mariah Carey
– “That’s hot!” Paris Hilton (I’m not joking)
Satisfied Massage Clients include:
Mariah Carey – Eros Ramazotti – Back Street Boys – Peter Bond – Depeche Mode – Led Zeppelins Robert Plant – Hot House Flowers – Fugees – Rolling Stones – Sting – David Bowie Band – Tommy Lee & Mötley Crüe – British Bulldog – Rainbow – Credit to the nation – Krokus – The Clash – Steve Vai – AC/DC – Ratt – Blur – Inspiral Carpets – The Blushing Brides – Aerosmith – Skunk Anansie – Die Ärzte – Simply Red – Michael Jackson Band – Whitney Houston Band – Guildo Horn – Ramones – 60ft. Dolls – Van Halen – The Who – Tin Machine – The Misfits – Garbage – Tortoise – Stone Roses – Chris Jagger – The Undertaker (WWF) – Smoking Guns (WWF) – Bryan Ferry Band – Lenny Kravitz Band – N Sync – Fish-(NOT PHISH!) – Henry Rollins – Def Leppard – Ray Cokes of MTV – Alba Basketball Team – Nils Frewerth – Runrig – Bon Jovi – Red Hot Chilli Peppers – Heather Nova – Dread Zeppelin – Bush – The Pogues – Kinky Machine – Duran Duran – Happy Mondays – America – Ice T – Madness – Flock of Seagulls – Jesus Jones – The Alarm – Hans Klok (Dutch Magician) – Cucumber Men – Anthrax – Catatonia – Eric Clapton – Johannes B. Kerner – Keith Sweat Band – Oasis – Grateful Dead – Kiss – The Charlatans – Toni Braxton Band – Pulp – Andrew Strong Band – Weezer – Jay Z – Super Furry Animals – Billy Idol Band – Iggy Pops Band – Northside – The Romantics – Simple Minds – Calvin Russel – The Muffin Men – 38 Special – Finesse – Scarfo – Bob Geldof – Iron Maiden – Dirty Deeds – Offspring – Leningrad Cowboys – Norbert Blüm – Vera am Mittag – Matthias Wissmann – Stefan Raab – Esther Schweins – Sheryl Crow – Daniela Noack – Guano Apes – Courtney Love + Hole – Lynard Skynard – Alice Cooper Band – Traci BoyD – Cypress Hill – Blackeyed Peas – Foo Fighters – Ween – D-12 – Modern Talking – Alice Cooper – Papa Roach – David Byrne – Mark Knopfler – Die Happy – Nick Cave – Hed(p) – Annuschka – Steely Dan – Green Day – Joe Walsh – Truck Stop – R. Kelly – Cranberries – Vin Diesel – YES – Green Day – Bio Hazard – Soul Fly – Prince of Saudi Arabias gang – Dave Gahan – Bruce Willis – Robbie Williams band – Disturbed – Kylie Minouge – Russle Crowe – Chris Noth (Mr. Big) – James L. Dolan – Slunt – George Clinton – Marilyn Manson – Sir Bob Geldoff – The Explosion – Good Charlotte – Steve Vai – Project Object – Adam F. – Meldrum – Penny Royals – Ratdog – Crossfade – Paris Hilton – Stereophonics – Motorhead – Dave Navaro – Dropkick Murphys – Far From Finished – Rosenstolz – Paul Weller – Dweezil Zappa – Steve Vai – Terri Bozzio – Napoleon Murphy Brock – Prinz Ferfried von Hohenzollern – Roger Waters – Jeff Beck – Vinnie Colaiuta – OK GO – The Hard Lessons – Juliette Lewis & the Licks – Middleman – Nathan East – Herbie Hancock – Placebo – Kylie Minogue – Russel Crowe – Maroon 5 – Joe Jackson – Sonic Youth – Harry Connick Jr – Incubus- Zappa Plays Zappa – Kayne West – Devo – Justin Timberlake – The Coral – The Arctic Monkeys – Simon Cowell of American Idol – Sum41 – Pat Benetar – Steve Miller Band – Foreigner – John C. Reilly – Velvet Revolver – Kim Raver (of 24 & Lipstick Jungle) – Simple Plan – Angels and Airwaves – Arian Belew – The Hives – Kid Rock’s band – Slash – Peter Wolf – Jonas Brothers – Trans Siberian Orchestra – Sigur Ros – Greg Allman – Stevie Wonder ……to be continued…
Finally, a street named after Frank Zappa. I asked myself, “why, why Marzahn?” In case you didn’t know, Marzahn is on outskirts of Berlin and well, I would normally never go there. Sort of far from my house. I found out though, why Frank Zappa street was born in Marzahn.
The Orwo Haus is the reason. The Orwo Haus is the biggest recording studio in Europe and (some are sure) the whole world. 150 bands at a time can (and do) rehearse there daily. From the out side, it doesn’t look like much, no one would imagine what is going on inside. Well, you can read more about it HERE if you want.
< Harry
Napoleon (Napi) steals the show wherever he is. You gotta love Napi.
Around 3,000 people came from all over the place, on July 28th ( I know, this blog is long over due) to celebrate the unveiling of Frank Zappa street. Many bands played and headlining was Germany’s best Frank Zappa tribute band “Sheik Yerbouti” . Napoleon Murphy Brock joined them as their special guest. Nappi gets around
You can see many more pics from that event if you click HERE
I was asked to join them for their Encore, a hot version of “I am the slime”. I was freezing my tits off. When I left my flat, it was steaming hot, so I wore open toed shoes, a skirt and t-shirt and even after 18 years living in Berlin, you would think I would KNOW by now you have to literally drag a bag of clothes around with you as you never know how the weather will be/change.
I was literally shaking from being so cold that by the time I was asked to come on stage and read a letter from From Frank Zappa’s brother, Bobby to the crowd, my lips were purple. But, like a trooper, nothing keeps me from spreading the love and music of Frank Zappa. Nothing.
My good friend Tina (Debutante Daisy) and I. She knows the words to ALL Zappa songs
Tina Growhowski
^ Robyn & Dot
Another HUGE Frank Zappa fan ^
She flew all the way from the USA along with a tour run by a man named Scott.
They all came together for the street naming and the Zappanale.
Like I was saying, NOTHING prevents me from preaching Zappa music. In Germany I am often invited onto talk shows and written about, as they find my career fascinating (so do I ). And every single interview I have ever done, since 1997, I have mentioned Frank Zappa. He crowned me “Dr. Dot” long ago, so that is usually how his name is mentioned “How did you come up with that name?” they ask. Then I tell them about Frank, how my Dad is a massive Zappa fan and how much his music means to me. His music is the BEST (well, I am also insanely into the Beatles, so it’s a tie).
This is my new Zappa shirt ^ My pal Mark drew it and made it for me.
That man ^ in the above picture with me, is Thomas, the President of the Arf Society. What is the Arf Society you ask?
“Founded on the 20 March 1993, the Arf-Society is a
Frank Zappa fan club based in Northern Germany
with an international membership.”
It’s best you just click HERE to read all about them.
Wolfhard K. actually founded the Arf Society but Thomas is the pres. since a few years (Wolfhard is a busy man). Wolfhard and Thomas are extreme Zappa fans and have been putting on the annual Frank Zappa music fest which they call the Zappanale. This year was the 18th annual Zappanale and they invited me to help out a bit and to join Project Object on stage for some fun. So I accepted and I will try to find the words to explain how happy I am that I went.
What’s missing from this picture? Sadly it’s Ike WILLIS, that’s what. Where was Ike? His name was on the posters, the tickets, the press releases. A driver was sent to pick him up in Berlin, all the way from Bad Doberan, which is a 3 hour drive. He did not get off the plane as planned. In fact, he never even bothered to get in touch to tell them he missed his plane.
Why would Ike miss his plane? Because he is having an unfortunate struggle with cocaine addiction. I am not leaking any private information here. Everyone who is hip to the scene knows this. In fact, just about everyone who has met Ike in the last few years, has lent him $50. Ike owes EVERYONE $50. It’s rather ironic that Ike, who was Frank’s right hand man for YEARS and his best friend, ends up a crack addict. Frank was shrewdly against drugs (well, cigarettes are indeed a drug too, but anyways..).
In my opinion, drugs suck. I have never tried cocaine and can’t stand being around people who take it or even talk about it. BUT I can imagine why Ike does this drug. Not making excuses for him, but imagine your best friend dying, how horrible that must be and then on top of it, having to sing his songs almost daily to a crowd of his fans. Frank’s shoes are impossible to fill, and being on the front line, almost daily (well, nightly) singing the lyrics your best mate wrote must do your head in. It must be hell. Hell in paradise.
Making a living doing something you love is paradise, but in such a circumstance, it can be difficult. If you are sensitive (most artist are overly sensitive) then falling into such a trap, is understandable. Not good by all means, but I can see why it happens.
Fame, drugs, money, (“or was it the music?” ). I just hope Ike gets help and fast. He could end up dying, like other artists have done, thanks to that pesky, overwhelming, addiction People should plan a huge intervention and toss him into Rehab. SO MANY famous artist are having trouble now a days. Amy Winehouse is throwing her fucking career in the toilet too, just like Ike is. It’s so sad.
But anyways, with or without Ike, the Zappanale party went on.
The first night ( Thursday) everyone meets and greets in preparation for the Zappanale party following the next day.
I LOVE that sweatshirt I have on. I got it in 1988 in Boston. It’s held up pretty well. It says “Broadway the Hard way” on the sleeve.
So this was night 1. I was a tad tired, but knew I could handle the up coming 3 nights of partying. It was so fun to meet some of the Zappa-teers (huge Zappa fan organization) and see Nappi, Andre’ and the guys again..
Andre’, guitarist/vocalist and founder of Project Object with his sweet heart, Cheri. ^ (his OTHER sweetheart Robyn, pictured way up in this blog) put Andre in the hot seat. Juggling two ladies at the same time. Typical musician
Andre’ preaches Frank big time. He doesn’t earn jack shit touring with his band, he does it for the love of Frank’s music.
This is the list of all the bands that played at the Zappanale ^
My hotel ^ it is really strange. There is no one at the desk all night, you could have a massive party in the living room they have off to the side of the lobby and you could drag that party into your fucking hotel room and no one would care; completely the opposite of the uptight rules they have in Dublin where you can’t even have someone come up to your room to help you with your bags. You have to give it to the Germans, they are tolerant when it comes to fun.
The Park across from my hotel. I heard this is where the first ever Zappanale took place. But it got too big for it’s britches and moved to a huge field..
The town of Bad Doberan is clean, quaint, gorgeous and very tolerant of the annual Zappa festival.
< Dressed for my “Mary” skit
I finally got to meet my pen pal. Andrew ^ and I have been corresponding online for years. He runs a UK Zappa news/fan web site called “Idiot Bastard Son”. He has intervied many of Zappa’s alumni and I did one for him too a while ago. He was as funny in person as he is online. But then again, most Zappa fans are intelligent, special and funny, just like Frank’s music.
< Bass extraordinaire
Project Object were one guitarist and vocalist short ( Ike) but you would have never known it! They were fantastic!
Don Preston , the man in the purple velvet jacket on key boards, was one of the high lights of the whole Zappanale. He plays with Project Object on tour most of the time, but is busy with many solo projects. I am sure he is over 70 as he is one of the original members of the Mothers of Invention.
Project Object doing their thing ^
One of the few females at the festival was serving beer. I brought that plastic urinal with me, thinking they may not have anything to throw water on me when I play Mary. I got this urinal in a bar in Berlin called Cafe’ Klo (Klo is a nick name for Toilet in German). Everyone drinks out of these urinals in that bar and you can buy them as well. I don’t drink beer, but they do hold a lot of beer, so I made good use of it and kept my pals well watered with all of those unwanted beer tickets I was given..
This is Andrew’s pal Ian ^ Andrew wore this ^ shirt, thinking Ike would be there.
Andre’ is a master on guitar ^
This is not the first time I have played “Mary” on stage with Project Object. I like participating anyway I can. I asked them to learn “Valley Girl” so I can sing that with them next time our paths cross.
Here are the lyrics to the song “Fembot in a Wet T-shirt” in case you are one of those people who don’t know the album Joe’s Garage by Frank Zappa..
Act I
SCENE FIVE
THE WET T-SHIRT CONTEST
After a few weeks on the bus, being porked by
Toad-O’s road crew, and being too exhausted to do
their laundry on a regular basis, MARY is dumped in Miami.
With no money (and no other famous rock groups due into
the area for at least three weeks), she tries to pick up a few bucks
by entering the Wet T-Shirt contest at The Brasserie…
IKE:
Looks to me like something funny
Is going on around here
People laughin’ ‘n’ dancin’ ‘n’ payin’
Entirely too much for their beer
And they all think they are
Clean outa-site
And they’re ready to party
“Cause the sign outside says it’s WET T-SHIRT NITE
‘N’ they all crave some Hot delight
Well the girls are excited
Because in a minute
They’re gonna get wet
‘N’ the boys are delighted
Because all the titties
Will get ’em upset
‘N’ they all think they are Reety-awright
‘N’ they’re ready to boogie
‘Cause the sign outside says it’s WET T-SHIRT NITE
‘N’ they all crave some Pink delight
When the water gets on’em
Their ninnies get rigid
‘N’ look pretty bold
It’s a common reaction
That makes an attraction
Whenever it’s cold
‘N’all of the fellas
They wish they could bite
On the cute little nuggets
The local girls are showin’ off tonite
You know I think it serves ’em right
You know I think it serves ’em right
You know I think it serves ’em right
You know I think it serves ’em right
And it’s WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
I know you want someone to show you some tit!
BIG ONES! WET ONES! BIG WET ONES!
At this point, FATHER RILEY (who had been recently de-frocked
for not meeting his quota, and has grown his hair out and
bought a groovy sport coot and moved to Miami and changed
his name to BUDDY JONES) steps onto the crowded bandstand
in his exciting new role as a WET T-SHIRT CONTEST EMCEE…
BUDDY JONES:
Ah, thanks, IKE…
Yes, it’s WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
Here at The Brasserie… Home of THE TITS… huh huh…
And it’s the charming Mary from Canoga Park
Up next in her bid for the semi-finals…
Hi,Mary…howya doin?
Having been fucked senseless by the boys in the crew, MARY does
not recognize the former religious personage from her nights in the
rectory basement during which she acquired her basic manual skills…
confounded by his sport coat, she replies…
MARY: Hi!
Realizing that she no longer recognizes him… or even appreciates
the patient religious training he had given her in the past, BUDDY JONES,
like a true WET T-SHIRT EMCEE type person, proceeds to say various
stupid things to waste time, making the contest itself take longer, thereby
giving the mongoloids squatting on the dance floor an opportunity to buy
more exciting beverages. . . liquid products that will expand their
consciousnesses to the point whereby they might more fully enjoy the ambiance
of Miami By Night…
BUDDY JONES:
Where ya from?
MARY:
Ah, the bus…
BUDDY JONES:
Which one?
MARY:
You know…the last tour…
You know…
Leather
BUDDY JONES:
Oh.. .you were the girl that was stuck to seat 38 on Phydeaux III…
why don’t you get in position now and take a deep breath, because
this water is very, very cold, but it’s goin’ to be so stimulating. And
Mary’s the kind of Red-Blooded American Girl who’ll do anything…
MARY:
Anything…
BUDDY JONES:
I said anything… for fifty bucks
That’s right!
MARY:
I really need the fifty bucks you know I gotta get home!
BUDDY JONES:
Yeh, I know, your father is waiting for you in the tool shed… that’s right,you
heard right… our big prize tonite is fifty American Dollars to the girl with
the most exciting mammalian protruberances…
MARY: Here I am!
BUDDY JONES: …
as viewed through a thoroughly soaked, stupid looking white sort of male
person’s conservative kind of middle-of-the-road COTTON UNDER-GARMENT!
Whoopee! And here comes THE WATER!
MARY:
EEEK!
BUDDY JONES:
No, you’d squeak more if the water got on you …sounds like you just got an
ice pick in the forehead… AND HERE COMES THE ICE PICK IN THE FOREHEAD…
a million laughs, Mary! Anyway; good golly, what a mess…she’s totally soaked..
totally committed to the fifty bucks.. .That’s it just step into the spotlight.. let the guys
get a good look at ya honey!
MARY:
Here I am!
BUDDY JONES:
Whaddya say, fellas?
Nice setta jugs?
Now Mary, how’s about shakin’ it around a little…
BUDDY JONES:
Oh my goodness, look at her go!
MARY:
Oooh! I’m dancing!
I’m dancing!
BUDDY JONES:
Ain’t this what living is really all about!
Here’s your fifty bucks, Mary…
MARY:
Oh great! Now I can go home!
BUDDY JONES:
Home is where the heart is.
MARY: “On the bus!”
That water was fucking freezing, so the look of shock/horror is authentic. heh heh.
“ Oh great! Now I can go home!”
“with leather?”
The headliners of the whole Zappanale ^.
I haven’t seen Chad since 1988!! He is so shy, so soft spoken. SO SWEET!!! His whole band is sweet in fact. I loved hanging out with these guys. They played an all instrumental set. No Zappa tunes at all, although at certain points you could hear a tad of a Zappa riff, like they were teasing us. They were brilliant. I suppose everyone was expecting them to whip out at least one Zappa tune, but they didn’t.
Perhaps Chat wants to stay on Dweezil and Gail’s good side. At least now they can’t bitch at them for playing any Zappa music!
Oooh they sounded like butter. Lovely! x
^ you can see from his smile how sweet and genuine he is
Eric Slick ^ plays drums with Project Object. He is a genius (started playing drums at age 2
His Mom, Robin Slick, is a famous writer. Check out her blog HERE
The English band, Monty and the Butchers ^ were soooooo fun to hang out with. A million laughs indeed.
Jorg, the film director, who happens to be holding the mic, films each Zappanale. They make a dvd of each Zappanale. They interviewed me for the dvd. I was lively as usual.
I was lacking sleep, which I really really need right now, as I am literally running on fumes. My tonsils are beyond infected and I was told a year ago they have to be removed but I never find the time, so I have been living on antibiotics and feeling like shit for about two years. I know, it’s stupid. A vicious cycle, but I just never find the time. So if I get less than like 7 hours of sleep, I feel dizzy, sore throat, all that wimpy shit. I was devastated when I was told I had to be up and ready for an interview on stage Saturday at noon. I know this sounds like a diva talking but it’s not. I am just a night person and seldom fall asleep before 7am. Hard habit to break at such short notice
Jim Cohen, who has been the host for a few years at the Zappanale, was to interview me Saturday at noon. He does a representation each year on the Saturday of the Zappanale (the Zappanale always takes place in the first week of every August fyi) . He interviews guests and talks in great detail about Frank Zappa. He is a walking encyclopedia of Frank Zappa trivia/facts/info.
I was there, on time, and went through with the interview. I did most of it in German as it takes place in Germany, but said somethings in English too for the English speaking audience. What I am getting at, is this weekend is a marathon. You won’t be resting, you will be ON the whole time, partying, talking, laughing, dancing and by the end of the weekend, you won’t have a voice anymore. I swear I am still hoarse from the festival and it was a few weeks ago. Found that out the hard way last night at karaoke.
Eric Svalgård ^
The other Eric of Project Object and I signing the symbol for the Arf Society.
Monty and the Butchers hamin’ it up during the grand finale’ ^
The crowd (above) and the sound men ( are nice guys, but have to work while everyone else is raising hell, hence the glum faces)
Chad and Andre’ ^
Don and I discussing his amazing threads his wife sews for him. What a sweet heart! ^
Christian ^ was my driver for the whole festival. His Father Wolfhard is the founder of the whole Zappanale. The Arf Society was obviously trying extra hard to please me
Musician soup ^ …………. backstage at the Zappanale was heaven on earth
Hasi ^ a Zappateers member, from Austria and I in the Zappateer tent. This tent is out in the camping area at the Zappanale festival. Everyone in the camping area pretty much parties straight through, with no sleep, from Thursday to Monday morning. It is a non-stop Zappa themed party. The Zappateers tent is the center of it all. I was welcomed with open arms and even knew a few of the people hanging out in the tent.. It was super fun, but I had to hang backstage most of the time, as they had tiny tasks for me to do.
What are the Zappateers? ” The Zappateers are dedicated collectors of Zappa live shows.”
It’s best to click HERE to read more about the Zappateers..
These two lovely gals ^ know every word to every Zappa song and I love them. They were a fixture in the Zappateers tent and later on stage for the Grand finale too. They are seriously dedicated Zappa fans.
Sunday when I woke up, I thought: I am too tired to go to the Zappanale grounds again. I thought I would just sleep all day and hide until my ride took me back to Berlin. WRONG ANSWER. Thomas, the president of the Arf Society called and said “where are you hiding!?? We need you on stage at 9pm!” Eh? I thought my work was done. Guess not. So I dragged my ass out of bed, well, off the floor as I always sleep on the floor in hotels, as I am a walking sleeping disorder.
Painted my face a bit and tried to get motivated for yet another night of partying. I am only used to going out like once a week, sometimes once a month. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t go out much at all. I am a hermit. It looks like I go out a lot because I blog about it every time I go out. I can only handle two drinks and hate smoking so I am a light weight and need a day to recover when I party (I have always been that way, so don’t laugh to yourself as you say “it’s called getting old” under your breath). I have always been a light weight. sigh. ANYHOW, where the hell was I?
Oh yes, my lovely driver came and basically had to pry me out of my room as I was really dragging my ass by Sunday. But like magic, once I set foot on the Zappanale grounds, I woke up like a freshly watered flower.
So, I was wondering, what was my chore of the day? Why was I needed on stage at 9pm? Another Wet T-shirt thingy? A massage for Chad? Was I entered into the Zappa trivia game without my knowledge?
Napi and Um, I know he works for the Zappanale, I think he is the director of transportation but don’t quote me on that, but at any rate, that is Napi posing with a man I think may be Hendrik. (Lets play “name that German!”)
Chad & Andre’ ^
Kurz, Italian Frank Zappa fan and musician (he let me draw that stache on his face
I was attacked by a sharpie pen ^
Naturally after 3 nights of camping, the Zappanale guests, artist, campers and workers started to smell a bit. I mean, it is hot, humid, dusty.. everyone is sweating and drinking.. you get the picture. I had a close wiff of Matthews (bassist/vocalist/founder of Monty and the Butchers) underarm. Me likey. I LOVE the smell of a man’s sweat. Fuck deo and perfume and show gels. I want to smell the MAN, not the fucking brand. Nothing I hate more than a man wearing perfume, cologne, aftershave, deo etc. I want to smell the truth baby!
Well, it’s only fair… ^
Sunday night, we were ALL TOAST. I couldn’t believe that Monty and the Butchers hadn’t seen the Zappa statue of Bad Doberan yet!
The drivers brought us there and we had a little photo shoot. The one with the glasses (passed out) is Joe. he plays horns some times for Project Object. What a laugh that night was!
Me posing with the Zappa statue. There was a LOT of controversy surrounding the statue. Gail Zappa didn’t approve it and is still not happy about it. The Arf Society had to fight tooth and nail to convince the town of bad Doberan to even allow the statue to be erected there. All the drama!! It’s so sad how everyone behaves after an icon dies (James Brown, Zappa, Elvis, John Lennon, etc).I hope to fuck the dead idols are looking down, watching the behavior, keeping tabs….
I want to close this now and mention once more, how AMAZING the Zappanale was. I will be there for sure next year. This festival has been going on 18 years, and I hope it keeps going on for many more years. It has a special vibe to it, so much love for Frank, so many cool people, so much fun!!!!!!!!!!! The area is amazing too, it’s magical, in fact I couldn’t think of a better place to have such a wonderful meeting of minds. Thank you Arf Society for the lovely time, I will never forget it.
x
ps. If you haven’t seen them yet, I made 3 videos (well, one long one, broken up into 3 bits) of my Zappanale experience.
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< Dressed for my “Mary” skit 
(Lets play “name that German!”)
