Ask Dr. Dot April 2010


Email me your questions and I will answer them for free and I will change your name to protect your identity. Your naughty secrets are safe with me πŸ™‚

 

 

Q.


I have been dating this girl for about 2 months. We almost broke up two weeks in because she thought we were moving to fast.
She said we were having sex to often, but I was never the one coming on to her, she always came looking for me.
We eventually just went on, having regular healthy (great for both sides) sex. She text messaged me  describing what she was going to do to me sexually, but then after shopping with her, she texted me saying “I don't want to have sex for a while”  (so we didn't fuck after all). I asked her about it because I found it unusual. She didn't have much to say other then it's “not a big deal”.

I will admit the past two times we have had sex, it hasn't been the best. She seemed a little uninterested. When I asked her about this, if she was losing interest or what, she simply said  “well, I wasn't really in the mood but I fucked you anyways to please you”.  No girl has ever openly said such a thing to me, so I found it somehow sweet and endearing.  I just need a girls point of view on this whole thing… is it really not a big deal, that I'm blowing out of proportion?
Or is there something hiding behind this whole ordeal?  Any thoughts, suggestions would be appreciated. And by the way I'm 26 and she is 25

Horny Hans

 

 

 

A.

Not a good sign. If this is going on already, imagine being bound to her for the rest of your life. Imagine her saying "oh honey, you can fuck me if you have to, but I'd rather fold laundry, so hurry", as that's probably where this will end up if you stick with her, move in together or worse, marry her.
I'd keep your options open and play the field. You're too young for such restrictions. Best to have a girlfriend who wants to fuck you, rather than just tossing you a mercy fuck from time to time. Get out while you still can my friend.



Q.

A guy I have been seeing on and off for the last couple of years (we live in different countries) never, ever licks my pussy. I have a very clean tight twat and I know it smells and tastes good because other men tell me so and I often lick my fingers after masturbating.  He is considerably younger than I am so I have remained patient. I asked him flat out once "why don't you lick  my cunt?" and he replied like a smart ass "you never ask". This infuriated me and I almost ended contact with him. A while after wards I asked him, full stop on the phone, about this one way oral sex street we are on and he then came up with a new excuse, that I am older and he is afraid he won't be as good at it as any former lovers I have had. Do these excuses sound good enough to you? Am I over reacting?
I am extremely generous with giving head and I feel ripped off.

Oral Ora

 

 

 

A.


He sounds like a lazy sack of shit to me. Trying and failing is still better than not trying at all. Age has nothing to do with it either. You can't let him off easy all the time just because he is younger. When does he plan on learning? When he is 50? It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Suggest teaching him how to do it exactly as you like it. The fact he said "you never ask" shows he is being a selfish prat. Hold off on those generous blow jobs and if/when he asks why you stopped, give him a taste of his own medicine and tell him "ladies first" and guide his thick head down towards your neglected cunt. If he still refuses, show him the door. There are plenty of men around, of all ages,  who love to lick pussy.

 

 

 

Q.


Why is it hard for a 45 year old man to cum but still maintain a rock hard penis. It's like "the feeling" or "itch" want to rise but just doesn't. I also tend to get hot (body temperature wise). My beautiful girl comments that my penis always tends to make me sweat first before I cum. Now sometimes I do cum and it usually always explodes out as if there is a blockage in the valve and the pressure just pushes it out. I'm aware I might have a control issue as I generally don't have a problem masturbating. Rarely however, do I cum during intercourse. I don't hammer away, sometimes I go slow, sometimes I wiggle about – depending on how my partner is feeling or wants.


Diamond Dick-Dave

 



A.


It sounds to me like you and your cock are very dehydrated. When a person isn't drinking enough water, the body tends to get selfish and holds onto every drop of fluid it has. Avoid excess coffee and tea, which simply dry you up from the inside out. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day and go to a Urologist to have the "blockage" checked out. Blockages can occur as a result of infections (including STD's). These can be cleared up by taking antibiotics. If you have a structural blockage, you may need to undergo minor surgery. So a trip to the “Cock-Doc” and drinking more healthy fluids should cool you and your hot willy off and make ejaculation easier.

 

 

 

Q.

I am 24 and left my boyfriend (age 26) of four years for another guy. Then my relationship with that guy went bad and we broke up. When I first left my ex I heard many friends tell me how they had seen him constantly out drinking himself stupid in the corner of bars by himself and he looked unhappy. He used to email me telling me he missed me and still loved me, I was polite but not really interested. He stopped emailing, then friends started seeing him out with other girls and then one day he ran into me at a coffee shop and it seemed like he had been living in the gym, the guy was ripped. I added him on facebook and see a lot of girls always flirting with him on there including girls I know. I am shocked he has gone from the dotting depressed ex boyfriend to this. What's the best way to win back his heart and start dating again without looking stupid? I would also be very upset if one of the girls in my social circle try to fuck him and I fear they might. Help……

Goldie Cocks



A.

The good news is, men can forgive. But they don't forget. If he really loved you, he may give you another chance. The other girls may be different and new to him, but sometimes a history between people can mean more than fresh meat. You can send him a real letter; not an email and tell him you are sorry and that you know for sure leaving him was a grave mistake. Mention that sometimes it takes such a stupid move to make one realize how good they had it and how grateful they should be for what they have/had, the grass always seems greener but it isn't, yadda yadda yadda. Make it short, sweet and to the point. He won't want to read a book, just one short page of how you would love to see him again. That's all you can do. Do NOT call him as you may catch him at a really bad time and that could make things worse. A letter is less threatening and gives him time to think. You may want to slip an old picture of you both into the letter to spark memories (and a few nude self portraits too of course). If he doesn't answer you, it means he's moved on and nothing can change a man's mind once he has it set. If he does start fucking around in your social circle, you just have to write it off as "the one that got away" and remember they are experiencing your left overs.




Q.


Is it true what they say that "once you go black you never go back”?


Wondering Wanda

 


 
   


A.


I'm sure that rumor was created by a black man. I've seen plenty of naked black men as I am also a massage therapist by profession+ most take off their clothes.


They don't have bigger cocks than other men, it's just that the ones who do have massive dicks are in porn, hence the reputation. I've never fucked a black man (would shag Chris Rock if he wasn't married + was given the chance). Not racist at all, but I prefer light eyes on my lover (green or blue) so that narrows it down considerably for me now doesn't it?

 

 

Q.

 

I have been dating this girl for about 5 months, and I cannot seem to make her climax. It seems like no matter how long we go I always end up going first, and then going limp. I have never had this problem before, and am used to being told that we have to stop and not getting to jizz all over the place, then finishing the deed later by myself. I don't know what I am doing wrong with her. We try different positions and I ask her what she needs to make her get there (she is shy) and still I don't get the satisfaction of her screaming in joy from a little present that I gave to her.. Is there any way I can extend how long it takes me to cum, to be able to hold a stiff dick after I come or to loosen her up so that she climaxes' harder faster?


No-Go Jo



A.

She needs to know how to make herself cum before she can cum with you. Ask her in a nice, calm manner, how she makes her self cum. If she says she can't, there is your answer. It's not you, it's her. If she says she can and tells you how, ask her to SHOW you how she makes herself cum. Then try to integrate that method into your fuck fest. If she doesn't know how to cum (some women just don't). Then bring her ass to the edge of the bed, kneel on some pillows and lick her clitoris as long as it takes to make her cum. Don't worry about sticking your fingers in there, just concentrate of long, firm, constant strokes with your tongue as wide as you can make it. Lick South to North and vice versa and check in with her once in a while and ask her if that's the right spot/ rhythm. Don't let up until she cums. It could take a while but if that is your goal, you have to hang in there. Make her cum first then you won't have to worry about how long it takes you. It didn't sound like she was complaining about you taking forever to cum, some girls like a long ride. Women can enjoy sex without climaxing. We don't have to climax every time to enjoy it, like most men do.



 

Venus wins again

Not turning into an avid sports fan, but I am fascinated by the Williams sisters and their success. I listened to the whole game today on the radio, BBC while making my morning fruit shake and breakfast etc.. it was so exciting to have both sisters playing against each other. I wonder what the Brits think of Americans dominating Wimbledon again? Do they hate it or do they just stay mutual and enjoy the game? If I was their Mother I would be so dam proud. These girls are go-getters; I LOVE their ambition and drive.

 Venus is now a seven-time Grand Slam champion and she captured her fifth Wimbledon title by beating her sister Serena 7-5 6-4 in a high-quality final. BRAVO!!!

 

 
   


Today in Berlin some German guy ripped Adolf Hitlers wax head off. WTF? Laughing my ass off. It's the talk of the town today. Guess he had it coming to him. ha. The guy is from Kreuzberg, my neighborhood here in Berlin. Guess all the freaks live here in Kreuzberg πŸ˜‰

Click HERE to read more about Adolf's decapitation. 

<  Adolf wants head.

I did go to the Hard Cock Cafe last night to eat with the German Vogue journalist, who said she'd never been there. It was fucking LOUD (dumb idea for us to go there on the 4th of July I guess). The service was TOO good, know what I mean? They kept interrupting our conversation, which we had to SHOUT over the music, every 20 seconds. UGH. There is no happy medium here. It's either the waitresses are UP your ass or ignoring you. That place has gone down the fucking tubes. It used to have great food, music, service. Now it just has LOUD crappy music and loud bloated tourists on top of Ice Berg lettuce, which I loathe entirely.

We ate and headed over to the Hyatt hotel for some wonderful red wine. If you want excellent service, eat/drink at the 5 star hotels in Berlin. They HAVE to be nice to you and they have the best food/drinks ever. I eat at the Ritz, Hotel Rome and the Hyatt all the time. I am not a clothing snob (hate fashion) or jewelry snob, but I do spend a lot on good food and wine.

I suppose drinking wine with a journalist isn't a bright idea either. After a couple glasses of wine, things get personal and private information rolls off the tongue. Oooops. Lets hope she has a heart. heh heh. If not, oh well, I already have a room reserved in Hell anyways. JK.

Jasmine alerted me today she is in Sicily. Wot? Jeeze she gets around. When I was her age I was on tour with Frank Zappa. She is just on tour. Oh well, I hope she is safe. It can't be more dangerous than LONDON! I think I should stop watching the news, I get so freaked out over the horror stories happening over there. The two French students that were killed in their flat yesterday.. ugh. I had nightmares about that. The news sucks. Not sure if it's better to hide head in sand or watch the news. If you ignore it, you become ignorant, if you watch it, you become jaded and jumpy. No wonder so many people smoke grass. Being apathetic probably has it's benefits.

 

Recently I was asked to contribute to this book:

The Heavy Metal Book of Lists, to be published in Fall
2009 by Backbeat Books, an imprint of the Hal Leonard Corporation—with
a foreword written by Lemmy of Motörhead! The HMBOL is a follow up to
their recent Punk Rock Book of Lists, by Amy Wallace and Handsome Dick
Manitoba.

Just got done with my list. I listed 11 of the top Heavy Metal Bodies that I have massaged but now I realize I have forgotten a few. Dam. It's hard to decide. Naturally I can't reveal my list but I am just saying, it's going to be a good book. Can't wait for the release party. I was at the Punk Rock Book of Lists party: http://drdot.blog-city.com/nyc_december_2007.htm   < click to read that blog… THAT party was the fucking BOMB. Here I am writing about all this current shit and I STILL have not finished my France and Italy blog. OMFG I feel like SHIT about that. It's nagging away at my conscience. It's on my mental lists of things to do, but with Berlin being so warm and fruity (there are trees in Berlin that smell so incredibly sweet and beautiful, the whole city smells amazing in the spring and summer here, it's intoxicating) it's hard to stay inside and concentrate on such a huge project. I will get it done soon, then I can move on and forget it. Wonder if all writers feel like that sometimes.

Off to bed to watch the Gene Simmons ROAST on iTunes. yes!

Punk Rock is still alive and well in NYC

It's always fun to drop by Arturo's loft. After all, I have been dropping by in and sleeping over at Mr. Vega's lower East Side place since I was 15 years old. Artie always has new Ramones goodies, like these expensive collector's item skulls below. He is the Art Director of the Ramones and designed every Ramones album ever made, even the famous eagle with baseball bat logo on the skull at the right, in the picture below.

If you are really curious about Arturo and haven't heard of him before, just google: Arturo Vega. He is famous amongst the Ramones fans and alumni, etc. They signed their first ever record contract in his loft, so it's legendary and still an exciting place to hang. To know Artie is to love him.  

 

The loft is adorned with numerous art pieces by various artist, like Dee-Dee Ramone for example. He had a wild imagination, as you can see from the paintings below:

 

When Dee Dee came to Berlin, he stayed at my flat with his then wife Barbara. They spent an absurd amount of time coloring in fact (with crayons!). Lots of fun indeed. Did you ever read Dee Dee's book  "Lobotomy: Surviving the Ramones" ? He is so cute; didn't have enough funds to edit it, so it's unedited and hilarious!

 

 

Arturo (on the right) and his room mate James (middle) and his lovely sister (was visiting from San Fran)

Picture I took of a picture hanging on Arturo's bedroom wall ^ Johnny Ramone & Arturo YEARS ago. Look how HOT Arturo looks! He is older now, but still looks healthy, fit and much younger than he really is.  Notice Johnny looks miserable, as usual.

 

So after hanging at the loft for a while, Arturo, Jasmine and I all went to a ^ book release party at the Alphabet City bar, 'Manitoba's' to honor the "Official Punk Rock book of lists" by Handsome Dick Manitoba & Amy Wallace.  The party was packed with familiar faces and lots of ambitious artists, writers, photographers and other folks in the music & literary world. I found a review of the party online, click  HERE to read it.  Handsome Dick is also the singer of the Dictators and a radio personality.

( I HIGHLY recommend clicking that link to read their report of the event, it's much more thorough than mine πŸ™‚ 

Dick, me and his gorgeous British born wife, Zoe ^  

Zoe is so incredibly sexy, you just get pulled in by her piercing blue eyes and luminous skin, then she seals the deal with her charming English accent and contagious smile. She was "thrilled" to meet me and shrieked loudly when introduced "Dr. Dot!? I know you, I've read your column for AGES! I LUV YOU Dr. Dot!" and proceeded to whisk me around, introducing me to new people and  people that already knew me, but I didn't know yet, like Eric, the Managing Editor of Penthouse Forum/Girls of Penthouse, who reminded me we already know each other from a 2 hour phone interview for a piece the Penthouse Forum did on me a year or two ago. "oooooh, I forgot about that" I sheepishly admitted.

 

Me and Eric Danville ^ 

 

Eric told me it's ok to spill the beans, to pass on the great news, that as of May, my sex/relationship column, "Ask Dr. Dot" can be found monthly in the Penthouse Forum. I am over the moon about this. This certainly helps ease the pain of having my naughty column let go from the NY Press thanks to their new, wholesome (word:Boring) image. Sigh. Penthouse Forum, here I come. 

 I got to chat with Mike Edison, Senior Editor of Backbeat Books and Hal Leonard Books, which was a thrill. The man is legendary. You couldn't swing a cat without hitting a cool, connected New Yorker. I should go out with Arturo more often, it's so fun and there are always great folks around. I do admit I spend too much time at karaoke bars, whoring the mic. Karaoke WHORE!

 

 

 The legendary Photogrpaher, Leee Black Childers (yes, it's with 3 "eee's) and Zoe  ^

 Click HERE to read ALL about Leee and his part of Punk & Rock and Roll history… Speaking of history, Zoe doesn't hesitate to let you know she is an ex-PORN star who is working on her memoirs. Maybe even a reality show. She's so attractive, I'm sure many would tune in. SCHWING!

< Leee, on the left, was HOT when he was a young man. 

It was GREAT to see my pal Monte again. I have known him (And Arturo) since I was 15. Monte, in case you don't know, was the Ramones road manager. He kept everything sane & as organized as possible on the road. He was always on the ball! I haven't seen Monte for a couple years (last time was at a party for Joey's Birthday celebration at CBGB's in 2002) yet the first thing Monte says to me when he saw me was "why did you remove me from your myspace top friends!??". LMFAO, that's so funny, myspace is taking over. "you're still in MY top friends!!" he continued. "Ok, ok, I rotate my top friends, but I promise to have you back up there by tomorrow" I swore to him. I made another snide remark about how I find it totally UNFAIR that his book "on the road with the Ramones" does NOT include my name at ALL. How could that be? I was dating Joey for 3 years and hardly ever missed a weekend show! (had to go to school Monday – Thursday, skipped Fridays to be with my Punk God). Well, we all know why I am not mentioned. I was only 15 when I started seeing Joey (I told them ALL I was 19). This seems kinda creepy now, but it wasn't back then, I looked 19, acted 19 and so, to them, I was 19. Anyways. What's done is done, I'm not in the dam book! Fine. I will just write about it in mine (again). Snap πŸ˜‰

Close up of Monte's jacket. I'm sure it's a collectors item…

Many more pics from the party can be seen HERE 

 

I do have lovely pictures of Jasmine, but she's banned me from posting any pics of her and even mentioning her. I will get my face ripped off for even mentioning her name in this blog. Sigh.  Trying as hard as I can to NOT write about my lovely, talented, honest, intelligent daughter, but I have to respect her wishes. Hoping you don't think I'm SOOOOO wrapped up in my business and activities that I forget my Jasmine; it's just the opposite, I wish I could post ALL the pics I have of her, she's so subtle, shy, humble and sweet; but she doesn't want it, so I can't. She isn't a camera hog like her mum. How can that be? We are the same at some points but completely opposite at others. I respect her completely and that's why you don't see a parade of Jasmine pics/videos.

 

   

 Random shots I took whilst about town (town, I mean, CITY!). Isn't it funny when you say "I'm in the city" people still ask "what city?". I don't feel a slight bit of guilt when I say "THE city; NYC". If you haven't been to Manhattan, then you may not understand the sarcastic, presumptuous response. 

 

 
   

 

 Is it strange to be surprised when people ask "what city?" when you tell them you are "in the city" ? If you have never been to Manhattan, you may not understand that sarcastic, presumptuous response (THE city!)

 

 The infamous ^  Jonesy in front of the 24/7 Apple store on 5th ave    

                                                                   

Icy branches amuse me  ^

 

I made another little video in Manhattan. Click HERE to see it  

 

Times Square always makes for a good photo-op.

Not that I watch much TV (in Germany I NEVER watch any TV, don't even get one channel and if I did, I still wouldn't watch it) but here in the USA they are having a writers strike (enough already peeps, get the fuck back to work, be happy you have a job). TV sucks monkey balls at the moment, hence all the time for blogging. Animal Planet + Discovery Channel are the only things worth watching. "You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals, so lets do it like they do it on the Discovery channel"