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Spain wins
Berlin is very silent tonight apart from a few car loads of Spanish fans honking their horns at their 1-0 victory over Germany. I feel bad for the Germans, they were so supportive and hopeful.
Most have been saying "Picking a goalie like Jens Lehmann for the tournament was the worst decision made by trainer Joachim Loew". Doesn't matter now, it's over and done. Oh well, there's always next year..
Congrats Spain, you played an incredible game!
x
He loved it
Berlin is bursting with anticipation today. You can almost hear the people holding their breath whilst awaiting the big football match tomorrow. I will certainly be watching the show, but not on fan-mile, as it's too crowded and unpredictable, as in, you don't know if you're going to get smashed in the face or not.
Thursday MORNING my phone rang at 10 am. Normally I don't hear it as I turn it on silent, but because the night before was a bit wild (that was the night Germany beat Turkey and the wild Exberliner party night) and even though I ONLY drink two glasses of wine when I go out (any more and I end up blowing chunks) I still felt tired as fuck due to all the cig smoke in the air at Kaffee Burger. ANYWAYS, when I come home from a night out, I stay up even later than normal, catching up on the 300+ emails I receive whilst out.
So I had only been sleeping two hours, and they weren't even a good two hours as the construction workers seemed to be tearing down every building within a mile radius of my flat, the concierge of the Adlon hotel called and said the President of Georgia wanted another massage from me RIGHT NOW before his flight at noon. Um, sorry, can't do it.
I am not lazy by no means, but it's easier for me to do a massage at 4 am than at 10 am. 4 am is NO problem, I am still wide awake, full of energy, but 10 am for me is like 3 am for most normal people, who sleep from 10 pm to 6 am. I had to decline and the Pres will either be (1) angry and never talk to me again or (2) take that as a challenge and REALLY invite me to Georgia as he promised to finally get round two of "the best massage" he has ever had in his life. We shall see. I think this was the first time I said "no" to a hotel here in Berlin, but after two hours of extremely interrupted sleep, the massage would have been half-assed anyways and I would rather to NO massage than a shitty massage.
Irish gals out on the piss ^
Was out last night for a bit of karaoke at Oscar Wilde again. Can you believe the two dark haired girls at the top of this ^ picture are 17 years old (left side) and 15 years old (right side)? Well, I also didn't look 15 when I was 15, but it's funny seeing 15 year olds drink beer, as you know in Yank land you have to be 21 to even get into a bar. Berlin is so liberal. I sang 'River Deep Mountain High', 'Stay with me' < Rod Stewart, and 'D'yer Maker' < Led Zepp.. I love to sing but HATE being around drunk people who keep repeating themselves over and over again and there is one guy that is there every time I go there who SWEARS to GOD he is Smokey Robinson. Everyone believes him too- except me.
I'm like, fuck right off, if you were Smokey (didn't he die?) then why the fuck are you singing the same two songs every time karaoke is on? He sings "simply the best" by Tina Turner and "kiss" by Prince. Again, I love to sing, but karaoke is a freak magnet. Not sure how much more of it I will take. Ugh. Thing is, I don't like to just go out and drink as I don't drink much, so I have to have something to do, as in table soccer or karaoke, or I get bored. Hanging around in a bar just doesn't appeal to me. Watching a football match is good fun though but still, drunks irk me to no end.
Tough for me as I LOVE Rock and Roll but most of the guys who LOVE rock and roll are into drugs, drinking, lying around doing nothing. I love rock and roll, but work out, eat healthy as fuck and don't smoke and barely drink and I am as ambitious as Donald Trump (not as rich, just as ambitious) ha! Boo fucking hoo, I don't fit in. ha ha. Gotta run, it's gorgeous out
x
Germany wins over Turkey
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^ "fan mile" (in background you can see the Adlon Hotel where Michael Jackson dangled the baby out the window AND where I massaged the President the other night).
I am sure you heard it already, but last night Germany won over Turkey in football (soccer to the yanks) 3-2. It was a close game the whole time, super exciting!!!
Martina, my preggy gal pal, is lovin' her extra cleavage ^ I found it hard to look in her eyes whilst talking to her with such lovely optical distractions right in front of me, now I know how it must feel to be a man
Martina (my pregnant girlfriend) and I went and watched it in Oscar Wilde Irish pub, which is normally a peaceful place, BUT last night hard core German football hooligans, all with shaved heads, Doc Martin boots and Nazi symbols filled the place. At first there were just ten of them and it was funny watching them scream and shout and carry on, but then 20 or so more piled in and it got scary. Martina is German and said the songs and chants they were belting out were old German Nazi songs. The other Germans in the place were also getting very very uncomfortable with this, but even the owner and bar tenders were petrified of them, so no one could do anything. It was even too crowded to leave at one point. The shit really hit the fan when the power went out. There was a massive storm in Basel which caused a disruption of video footage, which means, all over the world, people who were watching it live, had to watch a blank screen for a few minutes during the match, and that happened 4 times, which created even more anticipation and frenzies galore.
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Every time there was a goal from either side, stools went flying, beer was tossed everywhere (Martina and I were dressed in girly dresses and little strappy sandals and got SOAKED). There is no stopping these guys. A few took off their shirts and showed they had Nazi ( swastikas ) all over them as well as this one:
Every country has it's nationalists, but this is the closest I have been to the chaos they bring. Sometimes it seems football and nationalism go hand and hand together, sigh. This one hooligan KEPT spilling beer down Martina's back (who is 7 months pregnant) and I asked him to back up and be careful and he just screamed at us and made obscene hand gestures. Scary guys.
One of the Jewish waitresses was off duty and sitting with us during the whole match, she was not amused. Anyways, not sure how the Turks dealt with losing as there were NO TURK supporters what so ever in that pub, or on the streets in that area afterwards. I am sure they are pissed off, gutted, sad. However, the Germans are in the BEST mood ever, the sun is shining and Berlin is heaven on earth at the moment (if Jasmine was here it would be even better, but she is still in Italy).
Lots of great concerts coming up again here in Berlin, Motorhead, Radio Head, etc.. I will never be able to decide between NYC and Berlin. I just can't. I love them both. So instead of me trying to decide, I decided not to decide. Less pressure. ha! Next month the official smoking ban will be enforced ( I will believe it when I see it) then Berlin would be even BETTER. The Oscar Wilde pub is smoke free; LOVES IT! But "Kaffe Burger " where we went after the match to help the Exberliner celebrate it's 6th anniversary, was smoky as fuck. Oh, it's predominantly men there, and even being 7 months pregnant< Martina & I were getting hit on non-stop. So, if you are a lady and looking for a man in Berlin, head to Kaffe Burger. jeeze!!
Dr. Dot in KinKats magazine June/July 2008 issue
OMG
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Berlin is happier than ever right now. The Turks are happy as they won the other night and now Germany won against Portugal, so we have happy Turks along side Happy Germans, enjoying the warm weather. Life is grand here apart from the fucking construction workers who have been doing who knows WHAT since January in my court yard, who start making EXTREME noise at 7:30 am sharp, which leaves me about, uh, one hour of silences after my head hits the pillow at 6am as always. Lucky for them there are laws protecting them, ha ha.
So today (June 19th) is Jasmine's 19th birthday. OMG! Just thought I would throw that out there, she won't want me going on and on about it. sigh. I am so swamped lately that even thinking about blogging makes me nervous. I have so much to write and so many pictures to crop and upload and explain. Perhaps I will find time this weekend to put a dent in the France and Italy blog. Jesus I have to much catching up to do AND my New Years resolution was to actually re-write my WHOLE book again so I can see if anyone wants to publish it. Thing is, I get asked several times a day per email "where can I find your book" or "where can I buy your book?" so I know there is a demand for it and I know it will help me sleep getting all of this info out of my fucking head (like taking a huge mental dump) so I can free up memory space on my mind before I get Alzheimers and forget it all. Feck!
So much to do everyday, so many emails and columns to write that I never get around to the fun writing.. I think it's better to have too much to do than not enough. I simply can NOT understand people who get bored. WHAT? Bored? I just don't comprehend. I have no time to be bored. There is always something to do, in fact, more than one thing to do; I'm not even bored when I sleep, I have naughty dreams keeping me entertained.
Oh, I saw the Sex and the City movie tonight and LOVED IT!!! I went with my girlfriend Martina (who looks, dresses and acts just like Charlotte AND is 7 months pregnant, so at the part in the film where Charlotte was super pregnant, it was so funny looking at Martina!). Anyways the film is fabulous and we want MORE! On another note, I watched an episode of WEEDS, which everyone told me about; told me how much I would love it. HATED IT. What a waste of time that was. STUPID. Don't waste your time. Sometimes before I sleep, Pooh and I watch something on my MAC lap top (which I LOVE now by the way) and it's usually Meerkat Manor or Gene Simmon's Family Jewels which I order from iTunes. LOVE THEM.
I am just rambling on now, I have to get to bed before the trash men and construction workers start making their war sounds. Will write again soon,
x
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Help protect the last 100 remaining Ocelots
Help protect the last 100 remaining Ocelots from the Threats Posed by a Border Fence
There are between 85 and 100 remaining in the Texas area This Fall, Homeland Security plans to build hundreds of miles of fencing between Texas and Mexico. This fence has grave consequences for the small populations of Ocelots that still remain.
Speak out now for the protection of the endangered Ocelot!
Many Ocelots travel from Texas into Mexico for water and to breed, and this fence will almost definitely disrupt this natural migration and could threaten the last remaining Ocelots.
An environmental impact statement released by the Department of Homeland Security stated, "Habitat loss and fragmentation especially along the Rio Grande pose a critical threat to the long-term survival of the ocelot. Efforts are underway to preserve key habitat and biological corridors necessary for ocelot survival."
Tell them to keep their word! Sign the petition today :
CLICK HERE to sign
New Frank Zappa dvd! YAY!
Hurry and Help to Protect Pacific Leatherback Sea Turtles
Pacific leatherback sea turtles need your help right now.
The National Marine Fisheries Service (NMFS), the government agency responsible for fisheries management, is considering allowing hundreds of miles of fishing lines and baited hooks to be set inside the Pacific Leatherback Conservation Area off California and Oregon under what is known as an "Exempted Fishing Permit." The permit would be for the catch of swordfish, but would also allow for the catch of up to five endangered leatherback sea turtles, a short-finned pilot whale and other marine life as well.
Click HERE to sign the petition. If you live outside the US, just make up an address, it's urgent.
x
Ask Dr. Dot May 23, 2008
Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy..
Q.
I have met lots of guys who don't care what the woman wants but I've
met a couple who ask me what I want does this mean the feelings run deeper or
they are still after that one thing?
I've also have heard that if a guy helps you out with your bra and clothes
he loves you. Is this true or does this just show that he is a master player?
Young and curious
A.
Unless the man is flaming gay, he will want pussy. We are put on this earth to breed,
so naturally, they are after that "one thing". Their behavior is the important thing.
If they make you laugh, treat you well and you can feel that they love you, then they do.
Ignore the words; they can blind your judgment. You can't evaluate a man's love by things
like removing your knickers or asking how you like your oral, that's too general. Good men and players
alike will do such things. A man can say "I love you" a million times, but
if he is treating you like shit, what good are the mandatory verbal treats? It's his actions,
not his words that tell the truth.
Q.
My ex will NOT stop stalking me. He creates different email addresses and myspace accounts just
to torment and threaten me. All I did wrong was NOT want him anymore. It seems I have to pay
for that "mistake" the rest of my life. What is the best way to stop such a prick in his tracks?
Petrified Patty
A.
Print out all of his nasty messages; photocopy them several times, along with a picture of his face
attached to the stack of papers and bring them to his work/office/parents (whoever means the
most to him). Do the same with the emails, copy and paste them all into one long message and send
it to everyone you both know and in the subject line write "Isn't he a sweet heart?". If he keeps
bothering you, bring one of the "booklets" to the local police so they can keep it on file.
Asking a 6 foot tall male friend to visit him can't hurt either. Hammer time.
Q.
My husband and I have broken up a few times due to his inability to remain physically true. We
are both Italian, so cheating usually isn't grounds for divorce (bad attitude is). After a 6
month break, we finally moved back in together and all is well except he won't make love to me.
Recently we were driving in my car, phone rang and it was a woman who said she has been seeing
my husband for the last 20 years and that he married me secretly so she wouldn't find out and
that he was two timing me. I knew about this skank already and he promised me he would delete
her number. I forced him to show me his cell phone. Her fucking number was still in there. I made
him delete it right in front of me. I was calm, but cold to her on the phone and then ripped his
face off verbally.
He is seeing a therapist about his infidelity but I am wondering if you think a man like that
can ever really change. He claims he wants to have a baby this year. I am lost.
Just a Woman in love
A.
Next time she calls, tell her "Two timing? Oh honey, you got that all wrong. He is 4 timing and
you are just one of the holes he calls when he gets bored. Our relationship is an open one,
so just take a fucking number." Your apathetic attitude is your best weapon against her. Not
sure he is worth all the effort though. He seems to have a problem with integrity in general;
not a good trait. Make a time limit in your mind and if hasn't straightened up by then, you
should cut your loses and move on. European or not, bullshit is an international turn off.
Q.
I have a bit of a problem. My clitoris is very tiny, I mean REALLY tiny. Even
when I'm aroused it's still really small. This makes it pretty much impossible
for me to orgasm because my clit is so sensitive. In fact, the only way I can
orgasm is by masturbating. I do it by laying on my stomach with my hands flat
under my abdomen and grinding my clit up against my hands. I have to have
clothes on too, because it's too sensitive without it. This is very frustrating
for me and my husband because he doesn't know how to stimulate me because
every time he tries I have to make him stop,
So I was wondering, is there a way to make my clit bigger? I think this would
help me alot because the nerve endings in my clitoris wouldn't be all in one
itty bitty space, thus making it insensitive.
If there isn't a way, then what would you suggest I do? I've told him what I
like but he still can't do it, and orgasm by masturbation isn't so great
anyway because I feel like I'm not actually getting a good orgasm… they only
last about 5 seconds, if even.
Clitty Cat
A.
They have pumps out there you can buy, just like the penis enlargement pumps. I
think it's a bunch of bullshit, these tools may feel good and increase ones
confidence buy tricking people into thinking "My clit/cock is swollen, so it
must be bigger" but they don't work. Try using your husband instead of your
hand. Do exactly the same thing you do alone, but do it on top of him with
lots of lube. If that doesn't work, have him lick you, there is nothing softer
than a tongue for those sensitive spots.
Q.
I have a Fart question. I know you have written about how to avoid farting in
front of your lover, but these one cheek sneaks can't go on forever, can they?
I live with my boyfriend now and he farts around me, so when can I start farting
around him? This is the first time I have lived with a guy and my first long
term relationship. I don't want to let it all hang out and loose him, yet I hate running
to the bathroom every time my ass is acting up. When can we fart without shame?
Farting Frauline
A.
The Fart Threshold; an unavoidable topic when living together. If he is already telling
you he loves you, then it's ok to let one rip in front of him occasionally. You simply
have to know if his love is real or not. Who wants conditional love? ("If you fart,
I won't love you anymore"). Make it fun by blaming it on him . Men fart all
the time, their dogs fart all the time, so they will only be shocked the first time they
hear you cut one. When it does, giggle and change the subject; act like it never happened.
Q.
I am the Husband of Tainted Tammy that has been writing you, you know "THE BITCH" that
gets it 5 times a week, for which I am extremely thankful for. My side of it is that
when we 1st met I let all my skeletons out of the closet which weren’t a lot but I was
a recreational intravenous drug user, (did it about 10 times my whole life) I got involved
with a bad bunch of people and I was the ride for the most part and didn’t have much of
a sex life due to an abusive up bringing at the hands of my father both physically
& mentally since I was a wee boy. When it was her turn she told me she lost her virginity
@ 17 to a guy that was 21 & he raped her, so I said to myself @ that time "no big deal she
had sex with this guy 1 time it wasn’t her fault and that was the end of it" now 18 years
later she is telling me it was an ongoing sexual
relationship and each time I bring it up the story changes, I was so angry at this guy that
I was going to inflict physical damage to him and get even as he took my wife’s purity
from me but now that the truth has come out I feel I can’t hurt this guy because now I see
it was consensual on both parties. This all could’ve been avoided if she was just up front
from the beginning; I would have married her anyway but I almost feel like she got me on
false pretences, I love her with all my heart but the deceit really hurts after all these
years, thanks,
Mr. Bitch
A.
That part was left out in her email to me; I didn't know she was lying about her past. But the past
is the past and I totally frown upon the idea of digging up one's “skeletons”, unless there’s
children involved. Since you were abused in the past, honest and purity must be extra important
to you; hence her blurry past is eating you alive. Take her for a walk and have her tell you the
whole freakin’ story once and for all. Say "tell me the truth and I shall drop it forever!". Let
her vent and keep your word, just let it slide, otherwise it will just be a constant annoyance and
it will drive you both apart.
If you love each other and want to stay together, you need to clear this shit up. She said you were
“depressed and
not the same anymore.” Why not tell her why? You have to communicate or it won't work. Just because
you weren't the first guy IN your woman, doesn't mean she isn't pure. She has been with you for years,
and she has sex with you very often, that shows that her love for you is pure. You can't beat that.
Let the past die, it's over, done with and know that we all make mistakes.
(*note: the wife has since written and they’ve cleared everything up and are happy as clams in water)
Q.
I’m pregnant and very horny most of the time. My husband seems to be into it. We got married recently and he wanted kids right away, so here I am, pregnant and jealous. My first husband cheated and I’m paranoid again. I try to keep telling myself men cheat. I don’t ever want to be divorced again. I know if he did cheat I would have to cheat just to build up my ego also. I already have a child and realize how hard it is on a marriage. I’d like to feel like I shouldn't have to worry. I’m a pretty sexual person and love my husband and would like to feel like he only wants to be with me. He tells me he’s waited his whole life for me and wanted to be married and have a baby. He is 37 and I’m hoping he is really ready for all of this. He has been doing whatever he wants for so long. Are all men going to cheat no matter what?
Nervous & Knocked-up
pregnancy can be super sexy ^
A.
Some men cheat; so do some women, but there are those that are satisfied with what they have. The way you described your husband made it sound like he initiated the marriage and pregnancy, so you really don't have to worry.
Had you trapped him in a marriage due to an "accidental" pregnancy, well, then it would be a whole different situation. Your sex drive and confidence will keep everyone happy. Worrying while pregnant isn't good for the baby at all and it's pointless to stress about something that hasn't happened, so just breath deep and enjoy your bun in the oven and the hot baker who helped make it.