Ask Dr.Dot (Cougar trend/ condom battle/ Al the ass-man)


Q.
Why do all the best men end up with bitches? My husband and I have a male friend who is the
perfect guy; he’s handsome, has money, is smart, ambitious & treats women perfectly. Over the
 last 5 years I’ve seen him be screwed over repeatedly. He attracts moody, selfish women; of
course in the beginning they’re nice. Quickly the worm turns & they mistreat him. This guy is
a very confident, successful business man. It pains me to see such a great man wasted. All
these bitches use him like a credit card. Double dates kill me! It’s not fair because some of
 my girls swoon over him but he’s always taken by some slut and of course being the man he is
he is very loyal, doesn’t flirt. Should I intervene?
Meddling Mary

A.
Ever heard the term "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen"? A lot of men LOVE to be treated
like that. It turns them on. It's a challenge. I am not defending the woman you are
moaning about, I'm trying to remain neutral here. You say they are usually "sluts". Hmm, I wonder
 what could possibly keep him around? Dirty, hot sex perhaps? Women who have the upper
 hand are usually very confident, and that’s a huge turn on for most men. Not all men
want an agreeable, good girl. As hard as it may be for you to witness, that is what he
chooses and one can not change a man. Maybe someday he will get tired of the demanding
 divas and snap up one of your "girls" but I wouldn't hold your breath or get involved.
Count your blessings you have a blissful marriage and that
you’re out of the dating game.

Q.
I'm getting divorced after 22 years of 'bliss'. My wife and I are like oil
and water. I haven't changed since she met me.  I’ve the same
interests; the most important one is a need for a loving sexual bond with my mate.
 I'm very physical. She’s never been, though at first she put on a good act.  She prefers
 intercourse more than anything else, and loathes oral.  Very rarely in our years together
 has oral sex been something that she wanted; to give or receive either! All my other
 girlfriends before her, including my first wife who could cum at the drop of a hat orally
 and otherwise, loved the way I licked their pussies.  My nickname is "Spock" because
my ears had been pulled in ecstasy so many times. I recognize that there is a technique
 that most men really can’t master. This is what I’ve been told by dozens of women over
 the years.

From the many articles I've read on the subject, it seems that often times, women who are
self-conscious about the way their box smells are typically the ones that hesitate to have
 their lovers go down on them for fear of grossing them out. I guess since taste is about
 75% smell, they also figure that their pussy tastes bad as well. I LOVE the way pussy smells,
 tastes, looks, feels and even sounds!

That old joke 'once you get past the smell, you've got it licked' never made sense to me.
I totally love inhaling the scent of a woman! As I said, it adds to the sensuality.  I don't
think it has a damn thing to do with cleanliness.  In fact, the inside of a woman's pussy is
typically cleaner than the average mouth, when it comes to bacteria.  

Bottom line question: in your experience, how common is it for women to loathe their
partner practicing cunnilingus on them, and why?

Bobby Brown (“watch me now, I'm goin' down.”)

A.
Licking pussy is like a lap dance for your taste buds? Lovely. But if your partner
doesn't like it, you can't force her to spread 'em. Most women do enjoy it, the first few
months, but may grow a bit bored of the same old thing; even if it's heavenly genital licking.
 I am well aware of the fact men couldn't
imagine getting bored of head, but women can. If sex becomes routine, women tend to get a
"headache" or a mysterious second period that month. I hope you aren't divorcing her just because
 of her lack of sexual appetite, as that same thing can happen with other,
women as well. If your mind is set on divorce, try to avoid getting married again and/or living
together with a woman if you thrive upon a sizzling sex life. I don't give a FUCK how hot
you/they are, seeing someone ALL the time, sex will get boring and even spectacular oral becomes
 routine. Marriage and living together are so overrated and old fashioned. Sure, it's good for
raising kids and trimming your taxes, but even that can be done successfully while living
 separately. It all depends what your priorities are; family, sex, free time, money, etc. It’s
 hard to have it all and as cliché as it sounds, absence still makes the heart (and genitals)
grow fonder. Last but not least, some women simply don't enjoy having their twat licked out.
Some prefer to give and feel guilty getting pleasure and some ladies are too nurturing and kind
to tell their partner "I've got a spot that gets me hot, and you ain't been to it!"

Q.
I am recently divorced after a 25 year marriage.. During the entire 25 years,
I (we) never used a condom. I now find myself 'suddenly single', and the women I've
encountered insist on a condom. I completely understand the necessity of their use.
However, I just can't seem to move past the awkwardness and loss of sensation with their
use. In fact, I hate them!  Any suggestions?
Withering Willy

< Jimi Hendrix's cock, immortalized in plaster, thanks to Cynthia Plaster Caster

 Jimi found a way to reman hard forever

A.
No one likes them, not even us girls. Have the lucky lady suck on you while you unwrap
the condom. Say "do us a favor darling and keep me in your mouth while I wrestle with
this thing", make it fun and they will. Hopefully she will give you good head while you
get it ready, then quickly slip it on and slip in her as fast as you can.
It would be best to give her good oral, no, GREAT oral before the condom is even mentioned,
to make sure she got her fun before you possibly loose the nerve. If you go soft while
wearing the condom, try to make her cum with your mouth or hands and then wank off
onto her breasts or face…It may take time to train him to get used to the ol' wet
suit again I'm afraid. Find a girl to be monogamous with and perhaps you can ride bareback again.

Q.

My son is 21 and he is dating a 38 year old woman. She looks great for her age; very
youthful and she is fun, and I understand why my son loves her, but I can’t help but
wish she would just disappear and let me boy enjoy his youth. Should I just ignore this
potentially hazardous relationship or try to wake him out of this puppy love?
Mrs. Robinson

A.
When a person is 21, they can and will do whatever the fuck they want. You can buy him a
copy of the film Harold and Maude and hope he get’s your point, but as long as they are
both happy why make waves? The more you mention it to him, the more you will drive him
towards her. He has many years to experiment and fool around; she should be the worried
one, not you nor your young ripe son. Rather than trying to fight the Cougar trend, try
to love him unconditionally like a parent should. What will be, will be.

Q.
Ok, here is my problem. I love women. I love women a lot. Maybe too much. The problem is
that most women can only get me excited one time and one time only. I look at them completely
different as soon as the act is finished. I don't even want to ever talk to them again.
I feel horrible. Like I am a bad person. I am 40 and see no sign of slowing down. Any
idea why I feel this way? Am I a fucking asshole? Am I a freak?
Johnny Apple-seed

A.
I feel the same way sometimes. You aren’t a “bad person” in fact being “fruitful and multiplying”
is what being a man is all about, genetically. I am sure a lot of people feel that way,
maybe not to that extreme, but a tad, it’s just they can’t do much about it, as relationships
and social responsibility renders the ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ routine. As long as you are
completely up front with your conquest before you dive in, and they are cool with your motto,
why beat yourself up over it? Maybe someday you will meet your match and fall in love. Hopefully
 you are using condoms as you could get a nasty unpronounceable disease and/or knock someone up
which would surely slow you and your unquenchable appetite down.

Q.
In one of your recent columns, you told a girl to avoid anal sex if she was against it. I think
she should try it, I know a few bitches that let me fuck their ass, and they don’t mind. Don’t
be so close minded. Anal is great.
Al the Ass-man

A.
I am thrilled that your bitches put up with you pounding their asses, now I can sleep soundly.
I told “Exit only Alice” to avoid letting her persistent boyfriend screw her in the ass if she
was against it. Had you took the time to read it thoroughly, you would have seen she was afraid
and against the idea. I don’t see how men who haven’t tried receiving anal sex can be appropriate
pro-anal cheerleaders. Have you ever been fucked in the ass Al? If so, did you like it?
Did it hurt? Come on, don’t be so close minded. Anal is “great”. Wouldn’t want you missing out on
any of the “fun”.

 

 

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…

My column, "Ask Dr. Dot"  can also be seen weekly at:

WWW.NYPRESS.COM

and   www.nyrock.com

and www.exberliner.com    

 

Kanye West has a new fan

 Tonight was a busy night. I just wanted to chill but I helped Jasmine get ready for her prom -she wore a cute hippie looking wine colored dress that hung above the knees and she rejected the sueded flip flops I bought her, instead, she wanted to go barefoot. Her dread locks were tied up and some of her hair stayed down, you know, half up, half down, like Angelina Jolie always wears hers. I guess this hippie attitude comes from me seeing the Grateful Dead about 50 times while I was pregnant with her.

 

I am happy she is a rock chick; I'm not complaining, I just wish she would have worn shoes and maybe let me buy her a dress. The other kids and parents must think "That Dr. Dot must spend all her money on rock and roll t-shirts and globe trotting as Jasmine wears all these hippie rags and converse high tops that have more holes in them then the streets of Blackburn!" But that's not true. Jasmine is not a consumer. She loathes getting presents and being given money etc. Very practical and frugal. Like me. I do love me a new lap top and my iPod though 🙂

 

ANYWAYS, after that hectic whirlwind, I went home and massaged Joe Jackson (who lives in Berlin now, and is recording his new album) from 11pm until 1am when my phone rang. Kanye West was in Berlin (on a promo tour) and wanted a massage. I could have sent one of my assistants, but I was curious to meet this man that Perez Hilton and the press always talk about. They usually mention this "He stormed out of an award ceremony, angry, because his video didn't win the Video of the Year award!".

 

They scathe him and I wanted to see if he was really like they described. In fact, I have never even heard his music, the only reason I knew of him was because of this nasty rumor. That and I know he did a song with Jamie Foxx, who I LOVE since seeing (and buying) the film RAY. 

I was expecting a WHOLE lotta attitude. I got NONE.  I was lead to his room and was kept waiting for a few minutes, along with his assistant. He opened the door and I yapped "Avon Calling!". heh heh. His room smelt like he had been burning a stack of rubber tires! He was holding what was left of some plug adapter, which was now half black from the flames and melted. LMFAO!!!!!!!!

Apparently the hotel gave him a plug adapter and what he needed was an electricity converter, like a mini transformer or so. It was their fault, not his. Thank God it didn't fry his lap top! Anyways, we got that sorted, I told the front desk in German to sort it out. I massaged him for about 2 hours and the music he chose to play from his lap top was mostly Maroon 5, then later, Modest Mouse. He said he is friends with Adam, the singer of Maroon 5 (I told him he was a client of mine too) and that they did a song together. I never head much Maroon 5 up until tonight. I only knew the two popular tunes "She will be loved" and "This love has taken it's toll", you know those catchy tunes..

 

Anyways, then we heard Modest Mouse, who he said is one of his favorites. I told him how I met Modest Mouse one night at one of my karaoke hang outs in NYC: Cassidys Pub, W 55th street. They have karaoke every Friday night (no they didn't pay me to write this). Modest Mouse was in there, acting like wankers. Showing off, hogging the mic, being really obnoxious and the singer was snotty to me and my friends. Once we said "aren't you Modest Mouse?" then suddenly they were all sweet and polite and they bounced right after that. As in, "oh shit, we can't act like cunts anymore, they know who we are". Whatever. The band is tight, but have a listen, the singer sucks ass. He must purposely sing out of tune and all over the place. Have a listen, then you will know what I mean. He's a pretentious twat. 

Oh LORD I am totally off the subject now, which is HOW WONDERFUL Mr. West is! I asked him about this rumor, about him storming out of the award show in a sour grapes mood. He said "It's true" but then told me the whole story, the part the press so conveniently over looks when taking the piss out of him, you know, slagging him off. Ok, for you yanks, when they are being really mean and writing bad about him. (see why British/Irish slang is so useful? It gets to the point faster).


The missing part of the story is that his management and record company told him his video had won Video of the Year, and insisted that he attend this ceremony. 

Here is what you find when you google this crap:

Kanye West, you may remember, stormed the stage at the MTV Europe Music Awards in Denmark last week, interrupting the winners' speech, claiming his video deserved the "Best Video" Award for "Touch the Sky," which lost to Justice vs. Simian's project "We Are Your Friends."

 No fucking WONDER he was pissed off! He was lied to. He was told his video had won. So he was lead there under false pretenses. I just think it's unfair how the press leaves shit out. So you can't say they are lying, because they just leave shit out. Guys all over can relate with that method, as they use it all the time when explaining to their better half where they fuck they have been, etc.

 

I think he's cool. He was calm, friendly, intelligent, generous, very funny and had NO ego or attitude at all. I am not an ass kisser/brown noser, I am honest. The guy is wonderful. I know it's tabu to say, but he has an amazing ass. I told him too, so there.

x

ps. The only bad thing about me working until 4am and now still up online until 7:30 am, is I will be too tired to go and try to massage Lou Reed later today. Oh well, I think he is over rated anyways. Sweet Jane and take a walk on the wild side are not enough to cut into my 8 hours of sleep (Sour Grapes). Dragging my cranky ass into bed now. 

NYC/NJ video…round 1

 

Catherine ^ my friend, best massage assistant and right hand woman, comes up to NYC to visit me and we just trade massages for 3 days straight or more. Our hair gets so much massage oil in it, that we stick to wearing hats and laying low until the massage fest is over. But ooooooooh, it's so worth the message hair. It's heaven on earth! Some clients are lucky enough to get our 4 handed massage when she is up visiting from Baltimore. I do their backs while she does their legs and then we switch. Paradise. 

Braveheart ^ 

Another treat in May was massaging Adam Levine again. Talented eye candy. The girls LOVE him.

 

Speaking of eye candy. Look who I found wandering around NYC.. a real live cowboy (from Wales). Thought for sure he was a yank with that hat on.  Maybe he doesn't herd cows or horses, but sheep? Anyways, he's as pretty as a picture. 

Thanks to the dollar being so low and useless, the Brits and Irish are floodig Manhattan. These lads are from an Irish Rugby team. 


 My gay friend Darren was enjoying the fleshy show. I only drink two glasses of wine when I go out. Apparently it's too many.

I hate the song, but it is truly "Raining Men" in NYC. Straight, Gay, Buff, Rich, Poor, Fun, Boring and/or from every corner of the world you can imagine. If these guys are willing to take off their clothes in public, why shouldn't I take some lovely pictures? Too bad one can't hear their accents through the pictures, the Welsh and Irish accents are oooh soooo lovely.

Darren, my gay pal, is the one with the wild eyes and tiny goatee' beard. He was THOROUGHLY enjoying all the men loitering around us at one of my favorite karaoke bars, Solas. I am a fag hag again. Between Danny and Darren, it appears I do in fact get along rather well with gay men. In the past, I have seen some act more vicious than any bitch could dream of being, so I was afraid of hanging with gays. But I am over that, we get along and if we have to have a tiny cat fight, we do and move on. The fights always seem to revolve around tits, men and another catty fag hag, but oh well, it's worth all the fun in the end.

Speaking of GAY, today, sore throat and all, I dragged my tired ass out to witness the annual Christopher Street day parade.I took my new and improved video camera out with me for the first time and made LOADS of videos. I now have the task of editing and narrating it, blah blah blah. That's coming up next 🙂 

By night or day, Manhattan is breathtaking to look at. Almost as breathtaking as the energy it gives off. Even the surrounding burrows; the ambition and joy that the people feel is contagious. You get high off it. NYC: a natural high. I LOVE NEW YORK (and Hoboken 🙂

 

Berlin, last night ( June 19 2007)

 The Brandenburger Gate in Berlin, last night. Jasmine turned 18 last night. Oh what a night.

 

The Berliner Dom (Cathedral) yesterday. Berlin is soooo fine in the summer.

Sleepy London town (get’s a wake up call :)

It took me a while to make the video ^ so I hope you enjoy it.. It was filmed in May, during my stay in London. I went their mainly to meet up with my two gal pals, Christin and Nicole, who Steve Vai has sweetly nick-named the “Crazy Red Heads”.Next time I hope we have more time together and it would ROCK if we could meet up again in Dublin for example. We got along great…we have that special New England charm, that razor sharp smart ass sense of humor that not everyone understands. Wickedfuckinpissa  for example. 

Roy brought me out with his brother Erez  and his Fiance’, Nikki (my friend too) to Tramps, alllegedly  the BEST  nightclub in London.  The food  was  great but  as the night grew later,  the service grew worse.  It’s obviously  London’s version  of Studio  54.  Well, living off of  the old fumes of such a scene.  VIP wanna-be’s,  wearing as little as possible,  snorting this, snorting that.  Posing at the bar,  hoping to be  seen/recognized .. all  to  the crappy  tunes they  dare call  “music” .   ew! Give me  ROCK AND ROLL!

My pal Roy lives 5 minutes from Abbey Road, so we had fun stopping the traffic (just as all Beatles fans do) to take pictures, walking the same path the Beatles walked years ago.. It’s the busiest fucking street ever, even on a Sunday! It’s worth the hassle though 🙂

 We joked constantly about the ridiculous prices in and around our hotel. $15 for a bowl of strawberries for example. Bite me!

Like I said in the video, we wanted to walk to this restaurant my pal Amir suggested, call the Red Pepper. Obviously we took a wrong turn on the yellow brick road and we weren’t in Kansas anymore, we were in the Projects (the Brits call them “Counsel Estates or Counsel Flats” as in, the Government is supporting this particular neighborhood. ANYWAYS, we were getting nervous as we could sense we were not in a safe area and were desperately trying to flag down a cab. Everytime one stopped, they seemed to be waiting for someone to get out, go make a dope deal and get back in. There were no available taxis. Boo fucking hoo.

I saw a cop car heading our way and ran out in the street to flag them down. I am sure it was our American accents that charmed them into not only telling us how to get to the restaurant, but they brought us there, gladly. One of the cops was actually pretty hot. The Red Pepper became our daily bread. We loved it so much, we ate there every fucking night. Best spinach I have ever had.  I know there are loads of choices as far as places to eat go in London, but I am a creature of habit and when I love something, I want it all the time. Pun intended. 

;;;

Sitting on the ground, chilling in front of the Palace. When the flag is flying, it means the Queen is “home”.

My my you have a big…weapon

I slipped my flyer into his boot. They aren’t allowed to move/flinch, etc. I told him to call me if he needed a massage. He did eventually text me, but I had already left. What a cutie 🙂

 

 “Wild Horses couldn’t drag me away

Mad men of London ^

 My standard convenience store pose. I convinced that Moby look-a-like above to try it too.

The over worked door men of the Dorchester Hotel let me try on their hat

 

The lovely lane that lead to the Hyde Park Stables ^

My temporary Horse. She was a sweet heart..

Carrots get you everywhere 🙂

St.James park is breath taking ^

 

Another crazy Red Head ^ 

President Roosevelt and Winston Churchill didn’t mind me sitting on them for a while ^

Not to sound like a moaner, but London isn’t exciting as you may imagine. Everything is closed by 1am (most pubs close at 11pm!!). The shops close at 6pm, or the latest, 8pm. There is NO karaoke scene at ALL. I found one place, called Murphis and all of their songs have that accordion sound. As in, they aren’t allowed to have the real version, so they have a play school tone to them. Imagine Highway to Hell played on an Accordion. You couldn’t bring your own discs, like you can most places either. Their web site makes you think it’s gonna be a HUGE, two floored, happening place. Trust me, it’s not. HATED IT. In short, London, like the Stones say, is a “sleepy town”. Cute, expensive but a tad boring compared to Berlin and NYC.

“Evrywhere I hear the sound of marching, charging feet, boy
cause summers here and the time is right for fighting in the street, boy
But what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock n roll band
cause in sleepy london town
Theres just no place for a street fighting man
No”   The Rolling Stones

Ask Dr. Dot ( Anal Sex= HELL/ Those freakin’ ex’s/ 69 is stupid)

Round 159 of Ask Dr. Dot. Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…

Q.
My guy keeps bugging me for anal sex. I have heard from ALL of my
 friends that it hurts and it’s unpleasant. He practically begs me,
 says “If you love me you’ll allow it at least once”. I do love him
 but his dick is already too big for my vagina. I need help, fast.
Exit Only Alice

 

A.
Men always think we LOVE having a hard cock rammed up our poop shoot
 because they see porn stars begging for it in their “movies”. Fact
 is, it hurts; especially if the man is well hung. His begging for
your tighter hole is similar to you begging for him to have a wider cock.
  If you let him try it once, he is bound to love your tight ass and
 will be gagging for it all the time. If you’re against it, don’t
open Pandora’s Box or it will be a major pain in the ass.

Q.
 I've been dating this girl for almost 7 months. Most of her guy friends
are guys that she has slept with in the past. She says that she has
only been with a few guys like 8 or something but she still hangs out
with half of them. Like going out to lunch and sometimes dinner. Always
exclusively and never with her friends while I'm at work. Is this good
girlfriend behavior? She says they are all just her friends and I believe
her but it makes me uncomfortable…I don't hang out with anybody that
I slept with in the past except one of my ex girlfriends who I dated
 and calls my girlfriend more than she calls me so that’s a lot different.
 Anyway one guy that she went to lunch with a week ago and also slept
 with in the past. Sent her a text message at like 10 or 11 at night
 asking her to hang out. She said she was watching a movie with me but
then he replied that he would try harder when she was single. That
really upset me and she was really upset when I brought it up she said
 that he was drunk and isn't like that normally. She didn't reply to the
text message after he said that. She also talks to her ex boyfriend of 4
 years a lot. Sending myspace comments back and forth and texting. He
 even brought her over a gift last week. She's pregnant.. with my baby.
  It's important to that I work these things out with her. What
 am I supposed to do here? Is it wrong for me to tell her that she
needs to cease relationships with past flings? How do I tell her that?
Nervously Neil
 

A.
Ok, she has all the power now. So you can not tell her what to do,
or even suggest it at this point. Do NOT mention them again!
Once the baby is born, she won't have any extra time for these
clingy fools. Just concentrate on her and put the blinders on to the
Ex boyfriends. They are her ex's; you are her guy and father to the baby.
You need to be more mature (I know they are aggravating and irritating
but do not let them win). Offer her foot rubs, lower back rubs and
just be fun to be with. She will want to be with you rather than them.
Like I said, when the baby comes, those wankers will just blend into the
Past; they will be history as her baby and you will keep her more than
busy and hopefully, content.

Q.
I am only 19 but I am sexually active even though I am a tad shy.
 I have noticed that the few men I have slept with all want to “69”.
I go with the flow, but to be honest I don’t like it. Why are men so
 hooked on this? I find it embarrassing to have someone be face to
face with my ass hole. What if they think it’s ugly? What are they
THINKING when they are that close?
Firm & Fruity Fiona
 
A.
Why are they hooked on it? Exactly the same reason you hate it.They
love the close up view of your twat and chocolate star fish in their
face.  Don’t worry about them criticizing your crack, as I am sure
they look upon it adoringly. I hate it for a different reason: it’s
unpractical. How can one enjoy receiving great oral when they have to
 concentrate on giving great oral? What a stupid fucking concept. I am
 positive the 69 position was invented by some horny, unpractical,
 caveman. Another downside; there is always that chance your man was
 in a hurry the last time he wiped his ass. Sniff.

My column, "Ask Dr. Dot"  can also be seen weekly at:

WWW.NYPRESS.COM

and   www.nyrock.com

and www.exberliner.com    

 

Monte Carlo by Dr. Dot

 

 This ^  video took AGES to make. Still getting the hang of the ol' Windows Movie Maker thingy

You could eat off the ground it's so clean ^

 

I mentioned before (a few blogs ago) that I was heading to Monte Carlo. I finally found some time to make the blog. Kai Ebel the famous German moderator convinced RTL to fly me down to Monte Carlo to massage a few of the Formula One drivers for a show a travel show he does. Once a year he does a huge special called "Formel Exclusiv" (it aired May 13th 2007 ).

Feeling grateful is an understatement. Ralf, the producer and the whole film crew were a blast to work with.Even Nico Rossberg, who was told by his Finnish manager not to remove his shirt for the shoot, was a great sport. He said "oh why not!" and ripped his shirt off. All of the girls who saw us filming and who saw it on TV were pleased with that decision.  

 

Picture perfect, blah blah blah.

 

I heard the Royal family (Prince Albert and Princess Caroline etc) all live on the top of that giant hill/mountain ^

Kai with an amazing set of wheels ^ 

Nico has his own  WEB SITE   (schwing) 

 

All in all I had a great time and I want to thank RTL for treating me so fine. I even got to stay an extra night and explore the place on my own. I visited the only Irish Pub there (I swear there are Irish Pubs everywhere) and I ate at a Mexican place instead of dining on Frog Legs like everyone else. I am now back in Berlin, enjoying Jasmine's company and the hot weather. Susan Sarandon is filming SPEED RACER in Berlin and the management has my cards now so I am hoping I get to massage her. I have been a fan since the first time I saw the Rocky Horror Picture show ( I played Janet in a live production of it- you know when actors act it out while the film is playing at the same time) so I am really into her. Cross yer fingers for me will ya?

Heading back to NYC next month, gotta get my tonsils out finally. Sigh. Not looking forward to that. I won't miss any time with Jasmine as I won't leave until she leaves on her journey (going on a massive road trip with her friends in a VW bus). Cross fingers for her too while yer at it 🙂

Working on the London blog next. I need an ass massage from all this computer work 🙁

I just want to comment on all the Paris Bashing that's been outshining the important news lately. I have met her, massaged her, hung out with her and I can confirm she is a darling. She is generous, sweet, polite and has a great sense of humor. It is so easy to judge people you haven't met. So easy to bash celebrities for fun. I think the LA cops take things way to far when it comes to the stars. It's almost as if they are so fucking bored and frustrated with their own mundane, crappy job that as soon as they get a chance to pull over a star, they use it as a claim to fame to throw the book at them ten fold. Mel Gibson was crucified and I still don't believe he said those ignorant slurs. The cop knew what he was doing making that shit up. Same with Paris. If you know LA, you know that you HAVE to drive to get around and sure, Paris could afford a driver, but I know she likes to live as normal as possible; going out without body guards or a driver. She had a couple drinks, not many and she has to go to JAIL for 45 days now?

That German cunt who jumped me in January is still walking around free, never spent even an hour in court or jail, but the masses want Paris stoned to death for driving after a few drinks. I don't even believe it was much. I know in the states the cops fucking follow you around once you leave the parking lot of a bar/club and make you so fucking nervous cause they are tailing you, that you end up doing something dumb like using the wrong blinker or something and then they jump on you. Give the girl a break, she is a sweet heart, really. She can't change the fact that she was born into the lifestyle her parents had before she was even conceived. sigh. Everyone can get sympathy, but envy must be earned. Mitleid kriegt jeder, aber Neid muss man verdienen. Amen.

 

Guess what Paris is hiding in her right hand? 4:20 baby.