Dear Dr. Dot, I've been dating the same guy (he is 26, I am 22) for over a year. We see each
other every other day, Friday nights he goes out with this friends and
Saturday night is always for us. He is ALWAYS tired on Saturday night and when
he comes to pick me up at my place, he has a way of convincing me to just stay
home and chill (FUCK). I feel short changed, I want to go out with him and
have fun, but he says being home with me is much more fun than going out.
The sex is amazing but I am starting to resent him for this leftover from
Friday night shit.
Should I just dump him?
Irate Iris
A.
It’s really simple. When he calls to let you know he is coming over, tell him
you aren’t at home, you are at a certain bar/club/restaurant. He should meet
you there. Then you are already out and about. You are far too young to be a
stay at home couple. If I was you, I would change this weekend situation, as
in, you suddenly can’t meet on Saturday nights anymore, so he will have to see
you on Fridays instead. That way he can be nice and tired for his friends on
Saturday. Insist upon this and it will work. Not wanting to sound bitchy, but
you are the one with the pussy, so you make the rules, the sooner you learn
this, the better.
Q.
Please give me a fake name. I was seeing two guys and having sex with both. I
am now 5 months pregnant and don’t know which guy is the father. I have picked
the best guy and he thinks it’s his and it very well could be, but it’s eating
me up inside not knowing. One guy is blonde, the other brunette. What do I do
if it comes out with blonde hair (I am with the brunette now)? Should I just
tell him now? What if he leaves me alone?
Frantic Freda
< Who's the Daddy?
A.
Perhaps it will calm your nerves to tell you this happens a lot. You can’t
change the situation anymore, so there is no point in stressing out, it will
just make you have a moody baby. Just go with the flow and if your guy someday
insists upon a DNA test, do it, you have to just let things unfold how they
are supposed to. If not, then there is nothing to worry about. Keeping mum
doesn’t mean you are lying it just means you aren’t saying anything, a tactic
men understand oh so well. When your child gets older and you sense the
brunette is not the biological father, you may want to tell your child and
he/she will want a DNA test. Worrying about the future and past just fucks up
today. Concentrate on being a great mom and everything else will fall into
place.
Q.
I have been religious about carrying condoms, just in case I meet a hot guy.
What I don’t understand is why the guys always look at me like I am a slut
because I have condoms on me. It really ruins the whole mood for me. We can’t
win. I tell them “better safe than sorry” but there is always this stigma,
that disapproving look comes my way.
Should I stop carrying them? Should I use a different line?
WTF!? Wanda
A.
Men should always have condoms on them, taken or not. You just never know when
a pussy might “accidentally” fall onto them. If they don’t carry them, and
they are single, it means (a) they are not a player and never expect to get
laid (b) don’t practice safe sex. Both are fucked up excuses.
Don’t carry them on you if you are so worried about what they think. If they
don’t have any on them, make it a fun trip to go get them together. You could
keep them in your medicine cabinet at home and say “My Mom/Sister/Dad bought
them for me for emergencies”. You could be really sarcastic (like me) and said
“oh, the last guy left them here”. My favorite is, when he asks you “do you
have any condoms on you?” say “why would I? I don’t own a cock”.
* If you have any questions, feel free to send them to me, I will answer them and
even give you a fake name to hide your tracks with x
I know, I know, it has taken me 6 days to complete this blog, but I am dam busy- hard to believe I know. No matter, the sweet taste/smell/sound of Juliette and her Licks are still fresh in my mind. Honestly, I had only heard that she has a band a year ago in NYC, my Jewish friend, Seth Abrams, who is very good friends with the band H20 told me about Juliette and the Licks, that they were playing in NYC and he wanted to bring me but at the last minute, it fell through, blah blah, apparently it was sold out as fuck and I couldn't be bothered to try to work/con/beg my way in, so I missed the show. Seth said it was amazing and I now know that was an understatement. I formed my band just this past April and was told by a few that I remind them of Juliette and I hadn't seen any of her videos or even heard any of her songs. Now that I have seen/heard her, I though "fuck it, why even bother! I will just throw in the towel right now, no point in even trying". This woman RULES Rock and Roll (and even Punk). She does stuff on stage I wouldn't dare do, things I couldn't do, things David Lee Roth did in his prime, things Iggy Pop tried to do. "She will rock you" (see the Rolling Stone magazine cover she graced).
When I showed Juliette this picture I printed out for her to sign ^ I said "I hope your band isn't upset that I just have a picture of you instead of the whole band" she smiled and said "oh please, they are SO used to 'the Juliette show' ". She is sooooo funny, I was laughing my ass off the whole night..
I massaged some of the band before Juliette even arrived. They were on a tiny Promo tour and were already all knotted up, tired and stressed out. They are NOT getting special treatment, they are paying their dues like all bands do. Living on 3 hours of sleep a day, riding in buses instead of sleeping in hotels and yes, barely getting paid.
I know Juliette from her films, From Dusk til Dawn, Hysterical Blindness (my favorite), What's eating Gilbert Grape, California, Natural Born Killers and Cape Fear, etc etc…she has done about 50 films in 8 years, I think she is a work-o-holic. It seems she has just put the movie star career on the back burner to focus 100% on the Rock star career. It was a big risk and for the life of me, I can't think of another actor/actress that has done it successfully, but she is on her way to being the next female icon. I won't dare compare her to Janis Joplin, as Juliette is of course hotter, very modern, very very flexible and she stage dives, head first, then crowd surfs without fear, something Janis nor any other female rock/pop star has done, to my knowledge. She flirts with the audience sometimes in between songs and everyone, even females, melt.
She couldn't have chosen a better band to back her, they are tight and in person, are super cool, no attitudes, no ego's just great musicians (oh, they are all hot too, but that's besides the point completely).
Set list ^
This is Todd, formerly of H20 (just google it ok?). Seth lives or lived in the same building as Todd ^ in NYC. Todd is calm, cool, collected and extreme eye candy. The band has her back, the click so well together.
Kemble, is also extreme eye candy ^ , is very polite and friendly and WAILS on guitar!
The drummer is fairly new, not sure why they changed drummers, but this one learned all of their songs in 3 weeks. His name is Ed ^ and he is from Austin, Texas. I totally kicked his ass; wonder if he could move properly the next day.. but he needed it. Drummers always need deep tissue massage, more than anyone else in the band…
< Kemble in action
I did get a new camera – a bigger and better Sony cyber shot with 7.2 mega pixels, but still, it's not the best camera for onstage shots.
The band came out in full force and never let up. They had the crowd going mad, they were slam dancing so wildly that even I was getting crushed and tossed around and I was waaaay up front on the side near the amplifier (my ears are still ringing). She brings out the crazy fucking Indian in you, she makes you want to play, get sweaty and just ROCK.
It must have been hard when she first started out with her band, I can imaging the critics bashing her before she even started "oh great, another star wanting to change careers". But I am sure they have eaten their words now, as if you hear her sing, you can't imagine why she ever chose a career doing anything else. Even if being a Rock star for a while was a role she wanted to try out, she has become THAT rock star, she IS the REAL DEAL.
I imagined since she is such a well know movie star that she would have a big hair and make up crew on tour with her, body guards and personal assistants to grant her every wish. I was dead wrong. She has NONE of those. Paul, the tour manager, takes good care of her. He, by the way, multi tasks, he does tour/production and personally catches her when she is done body surfing. Juliette is lucky to be surrounded by so many great people who all care about her and want to help make this Rock and Roll journey work like a charm.
^ If you watch closely, you will see Paul (big blonde man) helping Juliette after her crowd surfing
Juliette spoke to me while we all had dinner in the catering room as if she knew me for years. She makes you feel welcome and comfortable. Actually, she is pretty much exactly how I imagined she would be, similar to the role she played in "What's eating Gilbert Grape". Laid back, FUN, cute as hell and sexy without even trying.
Everyone is drawn to her and her irresistible charisma. She is NO DIVA, she is the opposite, a pure rock chick , running around without any make up, worn out jeans and an old YES concert t-shirt on, before and after the show. She wanted her scalp and feet done before the show and when I was doing her feet, she said when her band makes it big, and she can afford me, she wants to bring me on the road to massage her every day. For me, that is the biggest compliment *sigh*.. I am still purring. I did warn her that she would want to marry me when she tried my foot massage. She was really loving it (note to men: I TOLD you, ALL women want is their fucking FEET DONE properly, so get busy).
After the show I massaged her again… she was really ill that night, a cold and living off of 3 hours of sleep over the last few days.
She still looks amazing in my opinion, not that she cares, she is SO not into the whole hair and make up thingy. She carries her own bags and didn't make any demands at all.
The band did a rather long meet and greet after the show even though they were dead tired. She posed with people for pictures and signed loads of autographs like a champ.
Watching her and seeing how much work this REALLY involves ( I have seen it for years, but watching her do it from scratch was different). I really saw first had what it takes to keep a band going, it's SO MUCH WORK, it actually turned me off wanting to take my band to the next level. Touring is HELL and it takes so much out of you. I felt sorry for the whole band and wish I could have gave them SLEEP as a present on top of the brutal massages. I over heard her mention that she just turned down a HBO series, which would have been amazing for her career, to keep working with her band. She said "I'm gonna ride this thing until the fucking wheels fall off!!!". Now THAT is Rock and Roll.
Their two month tour started yesterday (see the dates below) and if they are heading to a town near you, please go check them out, you won't believe your eyes and ears.
These pictures are from their myspace page ^ you can hear my favorite song of theirs American Boy on there…check it!
Sep 26 2006 8:00 Concorde 2 Brighton Sep 27 2006 8:00 Astoria London Sep 28 2006 8:00 MDH Manchester Sep 29 2006 8:00 Leadmill Sheffield Okt 2 2006 8:00 Rescue Rooms Nottingham Okt 3 2006 8:00 The Village Dublin Okt 4 2006 8:00 ABC Glasgow Okt 5 2006 8:00 Metropolitan University Leeds Okt 8 2006 8:00 Backstage Werk Munich Okt 10 2006 8:00 New Estragon Bologna Okt 11 2006 8:00 Rolling Stone Milano Okt 12 2006 8:00 Usine Geneva Okt 13 2006 8:00 Cooperative de Mai Clermont-Ferrand Okt 14 2006 8:00 Vents Des Suds Toulouse Okt 16 2006 8:00 Sala Apolo Barcelona Okt 17 2006 8:00 Sala Arena Madrid Okt 18 2006 8:00 Kafe Antzokia Bilbao Okt 20 2006 8:00 Trabendo Paris Okt 21 2006 8:00 Den Atelier Luxembourg City Okt 22 2006 8:00 Uebel & Gefaehrlich Hamburg Okt 23 2006 8:00 Pumpehuset Copenhagen Okt 25 2006 8:00 Folken Stavenger Okt 26 2006 8:00 John Dee Oslo Okt 28 2006 8:00 Trädgårn Gothenburg Okt 29 2006 8:00 KB Malmo Okt 30 2006 8:00 Debaser Medis Stockholm Okt 31 2006 8:00 Platensbar Linkoping Nov 4 2006 8:00 Palladium Warsaw Nov 5 2006 8:00 Roxy Prague Nov 7 2006 8:00 Coccon Club Frankfurt Nov 8 2006 8:00 Gloria Koln Nov 9 2006 8:00 Starclub Dresden Nov 10 2006 8:00 Riff Bochum Nov 11 2006 8:00 Karlstorbahnhof Heidelberg Nov 13 2006 8:00 Paradiso Amsterdam Nov 14 2006 8:00 Solus Bar Cardiff Nov 15 2006 8:00 Wedgewood Rooms Portsmouth Nov 16 2006 8:00 University Newcastle
My friend (right) Fabi and his girlfiend (left) are soooooo smitten with Juliette. They begged me to introduced them. Fabi helped produce
a song for my band and he is super cool, so I did. This picture cracks me up, it looks like Fabi is punching his girl in the face. lol.
I took this shot of the band just minutes after they got off stage.. Juliette is so low maintenance, so naturally beautiful.
^ Jason, the bass player is the only one I didn't get a solo picture of, he was really busy with his new lap top, and I came to this conclusion about Rock stars, Lap tops are
the main reason modern day rock/pop stars stay out of trouble now a days. They now have something constructive to do before and after the show, surf online, mainly on myspace.com. Whereas years ago, before the internet / Lap tops were so popular and easy to get, the artist would be bored out of their minds on tour, as they are only on stage for 2 hours, what the FUCK else do you expect them to do the other 22 hours? No wonder Jimi, Janis, Keith, Jim and co. all partied too hard, it's fucking boring waiting around for show time. So in some perverted way, the internet has saved Rock and Roll. Amen.
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< This video caught my eye and I've been a fan ever since
Tuesday, Sept 12th, 2006 Berlin (Kreuzberg) Germany at the club KATO..
line up:
headliners: Motion City Soundtrack
OK GO (stole the show from headliners)
The Hard Lessons (were amazing!)
< Sound check
I normally shy away from new music, it's hard to win me over, as I am so taken by the classics, you know, Zappa, Beatles, Roger Waters/Pink Floyd, Zeppelin, Hendrix, The Stones, The Who, etc…. but once in a while I hear or see something new that impresses me and this band, OK GO is very impressive. I saw their amazingly simple, yet utterly entertaining video out of the corner of my eye while at my desk in NYC just a few weeks ago. I turned up the volume and watched in awe.
They have so much enthusiasm, energy and humor… the music, text, moves, the whole concept is really cool in my opinion. It's no wonder they were asked to perform this video
live recently at the MTV Video Music awards…
last month in NYC. They had the tread mills on stage and all. Their video came out so late in the year, it was too late for it to be submitted for an award, THIS year. I hope they win a prize next year and I hope this vid isn't just forgotten about by then. The singer, Damian, told me his sister came up with the idea/choreography for this video and their video called in the Back Yard dancing (equally cool): < Video for their song "A million ways"
< Tim the bass player is really fun to talk to
The band is super friendly, but not in a superficial way. They are just fun people, very sharp witted and energetic, a breath of fresh air into the music industry.
I got to watch the sound check then I started massaging them all (everyone except the drummer( Dan) had a brutal massage from me). ..
DAN the man ^
The band isn't flirty at all, no one drinks much, no drugs, they are very focused and VERY into what they are doing. They are all extremely talented and if you think they are an overnight sensation, you are wrong. They have been a band for over 7 years and are just now enjoying WELL DESERVED success. I know, it sounds like I am kissing their asses, but if you have been reading my blog for years, you have read rather unfriendly reviews of certain bands too, so I am not always so nice, I only give compliments when I like what I see/hear.
..
The guitarist Andy ^ looks a tad like a young David Gilmour and the singer ^ Damian, is ridiculously GORGEOUS. Andy during sound check ^
< The Anvil, KoKo and Augie
^ The Hard Lessons, seconds before show time
( I LOVE that magic moment, RIGHT before the artists take to the stage, it's so full of energy, it makes me high)
The first band to go on were the Hard Lessons ^ I was really impressed by their sound. She has a VERY soulful voice and played her ass off, all the while dancing in dangerous pumps. She and the guitarist/singer are engaged and the drummer, who calls himself "the Anvil" is a little cutie pie, I really kicked his ass after the show. Drummers always need a deep tissue massage, it really helps them stay flexible. He asked me to marry him, heh heh… some do blurt out marriage proposals during a great back rub 🙂
Tim ^ sitting next to his friend from LA. Her name is Kelsey (spelling?) and she is back packing around Europe. So pretty that it makes you *sigh* to meet her. No make up AT ALL, no hair styling, just plain gorgeous (and super cool by the way). See that picture of Damian holding a piece of paper? ^
I gave him a German lesson before the show (a lot of artist ask for that). He wanted to learn how to say on stage:
"Hallo Leute, wir sind OK GO!" (hello people, we're OK GO)
then they played a few songs and he spoke again:
"Wie gehts? Tut mir leid, ich kann kein Deutsch. Ich bin nur eine Doof Ami" (how is everyone? Sorry, I can't speak any German, I'm just a dumb American)
Later on in the show he showed off, randomly a few other words I taught him like how to say Sour Cream, Spoon, Fork, etc.. just random stuff.. lol
It's a good thing he threw that "I'm just a dumb American" out there, as Germans, in general, hate us Americans. Since BUSH was voted into the office, they LOATHE
us with a passion and it's really unfair. I don't hate all Germans for the nasty things they have done in the past, so they should chill the fuck out and just live and let live.
Anyways, saying something like "I'm a dumb American" just made the crowd love him, somehow pointing out one's weakness endears people to you even more.
Like if you are really fat, you could say to your girlfriend/boyfriend "man, it must be hell looking at me". This will disarm them and make them laugh and embrace your humor and honesty. Europeans love this cheeky, twisted sense of humor…
A view from on stage ^ … It was pretty full considering there was NO PROMOTION AT ALL for this show, which was on a Tuesday night.
I swear, not one poster, flyer, mention on a radio station, NOTHING was done to promote this show. Right before the show,
a guy who works at the club, came out and taped a tiny poster on the window "Tonight, Motion City Soundtrack".
( OK GO covered ELO's "Don't bring me down" with perfection)
I told the lads that I found it odd they are part of the opening act and not headlining BUT not that odd, because that happens in Europe all the time! I saw Robert Plant
OPEN for Lenny Kravitz here. That would NEVER happen in the USA, where Robert is a Rock GOD. I've also seen Wide Spread Panic play to about 20 people (all Americans that flew over to see them play here in Berlin). But OK GO played with so much enthusiasm and perfection, you would think there would have been 20,000 fans egging them on. That is pure professionalism. I have to admit I didn't even see one second of the Motion City Soundtrack set. I was too busy massaging Andy's feet and Damian's back (did I mention how beautiful this man is?). You know me, I don't flirt with (a) artists (b) taken men but I can still swoon.
from left to right: Damian, Toby and Augie, the singer/guitarist of the Hard Lessons, Augie ^
Ok, Toby, the guitarist for my band, Bitchfest is a HUGE OK GO fan (since 2 years). He really really wanted to get backstage to meet Tim. He loves the whole band, but
really wanted to meet his hero, Tim. So the band agreed and I brought him backstage. Toby was in heaven and the band really enjoyed talking to him (which is amazing, as most bands want females only around them backstage, but this band is super cool).
< Tim and Danielle (with Dave, the English roadie in the background)
Damian is eye and ear candy ^ (note: he isn't vain or arrogant at ALL)
It was Tim's idea to pose in such a cool manner ^ Tim is fucking hilarious, luv him! You can see Danielle and Damian snacking on cheese in the background 🙂
So, if OK GO is coming to a town near you, please go check them out, you will see how fabulous they are…. very fun, very danceable, very unique. Here are their tour dates:
09.18.06 Bristol University Bristol 09.19.06 Uni Solus Cardiff 09.20.06 Wulfrun Hall Wolverhampton 09.21.06 Newcastle University Newcastle 09.22.06 Manchester Academy Manchester 09.24.06 ABC Glasgow 09.25.06 Metropolitan University Leeds 09.27.06 Pyramid Centre Portsmouth 09.28.06 The Astoria London 10.08.06 The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion The Woodlands TX 11.26.06 Eagles Ballroom Milwaukee WI 11.27.06 The Pageant Saint Louis MO 11.28.06 Orpheum Theatre – Memphis Memphis TN 11.29.06 Republic New Orleans New Orleans LA 11.30.06 Hobby Center for The Performing Arts – Sarofim Hall Houston TX
A few days later, I went with Danielle to Tacheles. She has been in Berlin for 10 months already (she is from Canada) and still hasn't been there. tsk tsk.
So I brought her and she was well into it… Click ^ on the word Tacheles to read about this joint, you have to visit it if you pass through Berlin..
It was a buidling taken over by squatters, but now it's an organized art hang out..
< I am taller than her, but the steps make me look like her mini me.
Berlin is in "Indian Summer" mode at the moment, super warm, sunny, and, ahem, MOIST! 😉
Q. My girl and I are very much in love, so there's no problem in that respect. The thing is, we've had better sex before, in that she used to cum once or maybe twice 'per intercourse' 🙂 but now I can't seem to satisfy her so much anymore. It seems that I cum too fast, it's like I've trained my body to enjoy too much too fast, or she's just too good. How do I get to please my woman again? Thanx! Quick Shooter Shane
A. You should "train" yourself to eat her pussy until she cums before you even get in there, where you "accidentally" cum to fast. Make it your goal to hear her scream and moan with pleasure, then celebrate your victory by giving her a good dose of your liquid love.
Q. I have a problem I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and in those two years of having sex with him I have not came ONCE! I don't know what the problem is. When we have sex i cant feel anything its like it is 'numb'.. please tell me what my problem.. Numb Nelly
A. Sounds like you are with the wrong boyfriend if 2 years have gone by, no orgasm and you "can't feel anything". Ask yourself these questions: Have I climaxed with other men in the past? and Can I make myself cum? If the answer to both of these questions are yes, the problem could be he isn't doing you correctly, you need to speak up and show him EXACTLY how to make you cum. If the answer to the questions is NO, then you need to spend more quality time alone, working on how to trip your own trigger, then once you learn that, integrate it into your sex life, making sure you show him everything. This "numb" feeling and the fact you can't feel anything could mean he is too boring and/or small for your snatch for you to be shagging him. "I've gotta spot that get's me hot, and you ain't been to it"
Q. Prior to me, my ex-girlfriend dated guys with bigger penises than mine. She always told me it was tiny to just tease me and when I broke up with her she told everyone I had a small one, and my friends never stopped picking on me for 3 years. I know I’m a little over 5 inches and that should be around average but being told you have a small penis for 3 years will subconsciously make me fear it is, even if I know it isnt. But now, I have a new girlfriend, I really love her and she loves me, and I cant describe how compatible we are on a sexual and sensual level and when were kissing, but I just found out that her ex and first boyfriend had a 9 inch penis (despite knowing you should never ask about exes). We haven’t had sex yet, but were both nearing the point where we want to. Will my 5-inch dick satisfy my girlfriend, even if the guy before me had a long willy? Does the vagina get bigger after a big one? She also told me her and her ex never finished actual intercourse, despite trying many times, because it was painful for her. I understand that this may just be my ego talking, because it just might be big-mouthed ex-girlfriend all over again, but even though, I really want to give my woman the best mind-blowing sex ever. I bet I can give her a rocking time with foreplay or going down on her, because kissing for the two of us is amazing and only fuels our passion even more… but I just want to know if I can still pleasure her in actual intercourse. And I can’t go down on her because she thinks its disgusting. So all I can do is foreplay, play with her down there, and intercourse.
A. Telling a new boyfriend about her ex's big cock is just as mean as you telling your new girlfriends that your ex was a rich model, it's just plain evil. You should stop them in their tracks when they do this and tell them "uh that's too much information darling", OR "that's so funny you say that as my last girlfriends pussy was MUCH tighter than yours". You have to convince her to let you lick her pussy. This will be your golden ticket to winning her over for good. Massage her feet for over 20 minutes, while she sips some gorgeous red wine. Lick and massage her calves, thighs, she may not notice when you start to lick her clit, nice and slow, like cow with a big tongue. You simply have to convince her to let you try. Don't worry about your cock size, as long as it stays hard and you make her cum, that's all you need. You should be happy you got rid of that mean HOLE who made fun of your penis size.
< Mean hole
Q.
I've been seeing this girl for a while now, we met, started kissing…..later on sex…you know the score, took our time etc etc. Now when she first started blowing me she did not swallow. I did'nt mind cause cum dont taste that good to me. Now we have been together for 3 months she has started to hold my balls look me in the eyes and swallow. It makes me feel great. I feel in love with her within weeks. I was not sure how she felt about me, i guess i am trying to ask is does the fact that she has started to swallow (and give other extras in bed) point to the fact she is really falling for me. A friend ( a girl) told me most girls only swallow for guys they REALLY like.??? Spunky Steve
A. Woah "Cum don't taste that good to me". Bravo for admitting you taste your own spunk, takes a real man to do that. Well, I'm guessing it's your own spunk you are talking about (?). Anyways, YES!, it means she digs you now, she accepts you and every drop of you. Now don't fuck it up by asking her "Do you love me?". Just enjoy!
It’s embarrassing how much time has passed since I met and massaged Jeff Beck and I am just now blogging about it. I think it was 8 weeks ago? This show was July 15, 2006.
Nevertheless, he is fresh in my mind. Jeff is SO FUCKING FUNNY, he could just hang up the guitar and do comedy, but his main passion, I found out, is restoring old
cars, working on them, making them gorgeous… I think he LOVES music, but just does it still to support his car hobby 🙂
The man hasn’t an arrogant bone in his body, so polite and humble, so real, so fucking cool! I was in heaven that day, sun was shining, Jeff Beck on guitar, Vinnie Colaiuta on drums, the band was amazing. Buddy guy opened and I could HEAR him play through the open window in the dressing room (it was an outside gig at little castle) but I couldn’t see him as I was busy massaging Jeff and Vinnie. I know Vinnie from his days with Zappa and then later, Sting. Vinnie is hysterical as well, so my face hurt from laughing the next day.
Jeff told me a lot of funny things that happened to him in his life and about his relationship with Roger Waters, who I had just massaged recently as well. Roger is a HUGE Jeff BECK fan and he “felt honored” to have Jeff play on his ‘Amused to Death’ album. A LOT of people want to hire Jeff, but he is simply too busy and sometimes can’t be bothered. He does what he wants and when he wants it, but is never arrogant about. I have heard first hand that he was chosen to be the next Rolling Stone after Brian Jones died; but Jeff just never hung around for the audition. He just didn’t give a shit. It’s an amazing balance he has, being that confident but not at all arrogant, one that I have seldom come across in show biz. I doubt he has any enemies, they all love him and want him to play with their band, but Jeff is hard to get, just naturally, not a calculated hard to get, if you know what I mean.
;;
;;
The show was predominately male (ladies, keep that in mind, if you want to meet COOL men with great taste in music, go see ANY Zappa tribute band, Steve Vai and/or
Jeff Beck in concert, you can have your pick!). Jeff’s show was only instrumental. He said sometimes he has some woman on tour with him singing (Beth Hart)
and she sounds ike Janis. Of course when I heard that I sang him a few bars of Bobby McGee and told him I am for hire (heh heh).
I stood in front of the stage watching him in awe and my friend was chatting a bit to me (not loudly) about something that had just happened in the crowd and a
Jeff Beck fan screamed “How the FUCK can you talk during a Jeff Beck guitar solo!????”. Nuff said.
“
Vinnie warming up backstage
Vinnie is So adorable, so fucking fun! Last time I saw him was when he was on tour with Sting, and I think that was 9 years ago. He and Terri Bozzio are the best drummers around (yes, I LOVE John Bonham, I am talking living drummers). Vinnie doesn’t even know how many fans he has. He just plays, He is so straight now, no booze, no smoking, just music and that’s it. Sooner or later the rockers realize they have to get and stay healthy if they want to remain in the strenuous rock and roll circus and that includes getting a massage whenever possible. They know when I am around, they are in for extreme deep tissue and they know I will make they cry like babies. They love it. My massage team is known for it’s brutal capabilities and we have been labeled the ‘Pit Bulls of Massage’. Music to my ears *sigh*.
If you want to hear Vinnie on a great Frank Zappa cd, just get “Joe’s Garage” and you will see why he is so sought after….
< when he toured with Sting
After the show, Jeff and I were standing in the production office and he was pouring very expensive champagne into my glass
and my friends glass too (Jeff is SUPER generous!). We were just shooting the breeze and telling jokes when a German security guard came up to
us and since she knows me (I am rather known here in Berlin) she looked and us both and said “well, there are many fans out side and they want to know
how long you will be back here” and before anyone had a chance to say anything I belted out “tell them I am busy and they will have to wait”.
Jeff and I both burst out laughing. That’s the kind of humor Jeff has, not stiff at all, he loves a good laugh. Love him!
^ Jeff’s reaction when he found out where the ‘Cosmopolitain’ drink was made famous
After the show my friend (male friend by the way) and I were invited by Jeff to join them all on the bus (don’t make a fuss, just get on the bus) for
some “special” drink that Jeff likes to make everyone. Of course we came along happily, it’s not every day, nor every year Jeff invites you for some bevy’s.
We were all cracking up and exchanging stories, and Jeff played bar tender. He was so excited to mix this drink for me, one he thought I had never heard of before.
He handed it to me and said “this, my dear, is called a “Cosmopolitan“. Now, any girl who was hooked on “Sex and the City” like I was has heard of that drink years ago.
I was like “uh, Jeff, that drink was made famous on Sex and the City”. He was like “eh?” . He had never seen it. I explained that it’s a show that had 4 women on it and they always talked about men and went out and drank that drink. He went “WOT!??? I’ve been making and drinking a GIRLS DRINK!???” The whole bus roared with laughter.
Vinnie wanted a foot massage on the bus, so I gave him one. He made faces and noises like I’ve never seen before. I said “you sound like me the first time I had anal sex”
Again, the bus was hysterical. I am telling you this lot knows how to laugh, even the bus driver was hilarious. If you see Jeff Beck heading to a town near you,
it will be worth every penny to go see him, he is the BOMB!!!!
Moving right along. I got a new camera, as you can see and I am trying out the video options as often as possible.
This is a view from my favorite town in the USA, Hoboken. Hoboken is better than NYC because it is only 5 minutes away from NYC
yet still clean, safe, cheaper, friendlier, etc. I just LOVE that place… I walk down the street and I seem to know everyone and vice versa.
I love that small town feeling, but I have to have the big city at hand, and as you can see from that video, it’s REALLY at hand..
ps. Flying back and forth is killing me. You can’t bring any lip stick, lotion, powder, tooth paste, you can’t bring FUCK ALL on the plane anymore, which makes my Pet Peeve, flying, even worse now. They do sell, however, expensive as FUCK lotion etc, on board, how convenient, those wankers! Yeah, you Hetro men won’t have a clue what I’m on about but us ladies/queers know, we need lotion and chap stick at least or we dry up like raisins. I put some lotion into a condom, tied it into a knot and crammed it up my, yeah, there. You have to be smarter than the average bear to make things happen. So I had my lotion! heh heh.
I didn’t have much time to play recently in NYC but I did manage to see some of my friends….
This was our official 2nd show as BITCHFEST. What pissed me off is the FUCKING FOG. Here it’s not too bad
but at some points I couldn’t (1) Breath (2) see the audience or my band. WTF!??????
For me the BEST part of the show was watching Jasmine climb up on stage and then crowd surf. Then, during
Back in Black, I did as well. This was my first time crowd surfing and it was fucking FUN! I will do this from now
on. How often does one see a daughter, then the Mom crowd surf at the same show? It was fucking hilarious.
I had to have a word with the German crowd though, as at first the crowd surfing didn’t work. Jasmine and her friends
were just let down, as in, dropped. I was like “hello, you’re supposed to catch and carry the bodies, not stand there and sip
your drinks and laugh”. They finally got the hang of it and it was marvelous. The sound man made a crappy video and sound
recording and when I figure out how to up load it, i will post it. You can see Jasmine surf and then me for a bit too).
From left to right, Vitri (back up vocals, Chrisi (drummers girlfriend, me and Danielle, back up vocals ^
Dr. Cock likes to draw cartoons, this one is of He and I ^ My friend Martin^ (Aussi) and some unknown dude backstage
Um, after the show, we had fun with my camera… don’t ask.^
Communication Breakdown
Tush
Move over
Dot welcomes audience
Black Dog
You really Got me < Back up singers come on stage
Heart Breaker < Back up singers
Dirty Deeds < Back up Singers (leave stage After Dirty Deeds)
American Woman
Dot introduces band
Highway to hell
Helter Skelter
*Back up singers come back on stage, Dot introduces them
Piece of my Heart < Back up singers
Back in Black < Back up Singers
BAND LEAVES STAGE
ENOCRE:
SANSI (drummer) COMES BACK ALONE FIRST AND DOES:
Moby Dick
(whole band comes out now)
Whole Lotta Love
Twist and Shout < Back up singers come and sing and twist/dance
Our set list ^
I have known “Fricky” since 1992. He is really strange, an artist. He let me draw the Zappa stache on him, yes! ^
Danielle, me and Sarah (she is from Sweden) partied ALL night after the BITCHFEST show…..
THIMO my guitarist will cheat on us this Wednesday 🙂 ^
Check him out, he ROCKS!!!!!
< The newspaper the next day, after the BITCHFEST show….itvch
< BB is the KING!
I saw BB KING live this past Thursday. It was one of the best show’s I have ever seen. He almost had me in tears
when he told the crowd he would never be passing through this town again, as he is “80, almost 81 years old” and his health
isn’t the greatest. I had to literally swallow my tears. He was so charming and funny how he told the crowd so many tiny stories and
his voice, Jesus, even if he didn’t play a mean guitar, I would pay to just hear the man sing. BB, I LOVE YOU!!!!!
Meet Kathy, the latest member of my massage team. She is super strong and has a soothing touch. I am so grateful to have her on my team and hope if you are heading that way and plan on having a massage, you will let me know so I can set up an appointment for you.
I am thrilled to have such a great team and love how it keeps growing with such talented therapist. We’ve got your back.
x Dr. Dot
My name’s Kathy, and I grew up near Nashville. I’ve been a nationally certified Licensed Massage Therapist since 2002 and have worked in California, Kentucky, and Tennessee. I have taken several continuing education classes including Pain Relief Therapy and Spinal Reflex Analysis and am always interested in learning new techniques. Currently, I am the editor of the American Massage Therapy Association’s newsletter for Tennessee. I read about Dr. Dot on the Internet and was invited to audition to be on her team. I passed her test with flying colors and now I’m very honored to be a part of her team.
I live next door to my Ex-Husband with my new husband. My Ex-Husband left me for my sister, so she lives next door with him. As you can imagine the tension is high. Things started happening when my Ex-husband threw a plastic bottle at my car as I left my drive one day after an argument with him. My Ex gets in contact with me regularly regarding our kids, and to complain about my new husband (that he is too loud as he is reshaping our yard with loud tools). There was been so many fights that it has almost ended in violence on several occasions. I am stuck in the middle of all this testosterone. I love my new husband dearly and don't want him to get into trouble, but my ex-husband threw the first stone. My new husband wants to go round with the baseball bat and kill him. What should I do to control this situation Greetings from Suburbia HELL
A.
WTF? Just move!
Q.
I just met this handsome guy in his 50's. I want a serious relationship with him but he mostly fantasizes about us being with another women and me making love to her while he watches. Although we have not been intimate yet, is this possibly a relationship that could get serious without a third party. Does it mean that he will not be faithful or is this just a fantasy to help him get turned on?
Sexy Sadie
A.
If you just met him, haven't even fucked yet and he is already trying to drag other bodies into your bed, it's not a good sign.
Everyone has sexual fantasy's but they usually wait to verbalize them, after things start to get too familiar and stale.
It doesn't mean he will cheat, it just means he is very direct, impatient and doesn't give a shit if you like the idea or not.
"Serious relationship"? He doesn't sound serious to me at all and "Handsome" is never enough, he has to be kind and care about your feelings. If this is his way of courting, tell him to fuck off.
Q.
I'm in a bit of a situation that's turning' me more gray headed then usual. I can't seem to decide on the best route to take here. I moved back to my home 6 years ago to help take care of my mother, she's 76, gave birth to me at age 40. My biological father was a married man already with family. She raised me by herself on welfare for 14 yrs until she remarried. I was adopted then but never got very close to her husband (who later left her for a younger woman). I returned back to this Podunk hell hole I now live in and my life previously was much different, meaning, I had a good day job, nice apt. and car, lived alone and played in bands on weekends. Now, after 6 years of living with my mother, because none of my family will give the time of day to check on her, I can't afford to put her in a home nor do I really want to. But my personal life has taken a serious blow these last years. I can't have women sleep over under the same roof as mom. My love life has been a complete failure with the girls I've met around here, they just don't understand my situation. My guts tell me to spread wings and fly the coop but my heart says it would be mean. I need freakin' advice in a bad way. Some direction, motivation?
Super Son
A must have ^
A. Any woman that falls for you, will love you even more for caring about your Mom. It's a VERY good sign when a man cares for his mom, in fact, if a girl wants to know how a man will treat her in the long run, she simply has to see how he treats/talks about his mother. Keep that in mind and you will see your situation as a plus, not a minus. You can't leave your Mom hanging, without her, your ass wouldn't be here. You are doing the right thing and should feel great about it, that will make you shine and hence, attract a lovely lady. You need to sort out the sleeping over situation, everyone has to compromise, your Mom should understand that, in fact, she doesn't have a choice, so help your Mom, but make your own rules about your love life or you simply won't have one. The girls probably understand that you take care of your Mom, but get turned off by the fact you don't have the balls to insist upon sexy sleep overs. Mom is probably too deaf and blind by now to notice any romps you would have at home anyways.
< Mom won't mind
Q.
Please answer me as soon as possible. It's really urgent because I met a man on-line
and we have been flirting for months. I have a really cute face, but I am kinda over
weight. I am good at hiding that fact with the way I pose in pictures.
Now he has booked a flight to come see me and when he sees my body, he
may freak out. I obviously can't lose 50 pounds in 3 weeks, so what can I do?
Should I tell him now that I am a wide load?
Big Legged Emma
A.
False advertising and on-line dating go hand in hand. People tend to exaggerate and bullshit on-line, so you never know,
he may be shorter than he says or have a limp dick/bad breath. Don't worry so much, just make sure you are fun and if
it does come down to sex, make sure you blow him like you have diabetes and his dick has all the insulin in it that you need,
as in, give it to him good. He won't even notice the extra padding.
A. It’s really simple. When he calls to let you know he is coming over, tell him you aren’t at home, you are at a certain bar/club/restaurant. He should meet you there. Then you are already out and about. You are far too young to be a stay at home couple. If I was you, I would change this weekend situation, as in, you suddenly can’t meet on Saturday nights anymore, so he will have to see you on Fridays instead. That way he can be nice and tired for his friends on Saturday. Insist upon this and it will work. Not wanting to sound bitchy, but you are the one with the pussy, so you make the rules, the sooner you learn this, the better. Q. Please give me a fake name. I was seeing two guys and having sex with both. I am now 5 months pregnant and don’t know which guy is the father. I have picked the best guy and he thinks it’s his and it very well could be, but it’s eating me up inside not knowing. One guy is blonde, the other brunette. What do I do if it comes out with blonde hair (I am with the brunette now)? Should I just tell him now? What if he leaves me alone? Frantic Freda
< Who's the Daddy? A. Perhaps it will calm your nerves to tell you this happens a lot. You can’t change the situation anymore, so there is no point in stressing out, it will just make you have a moody baby. Just go with the flow and if your guy someday insists upon a DNA test, do it, you have to just let things unfold how they are supposed to. If not, then there is nothing to worry about. Keeping mum doesn’t mean you are lying it just means you aren’t saying anything, a tactic men understand oh so well. When your child gets older and you sense the brunette is not the biological father, you may want to tell your child and he/she will want a DNA test. Worrying about the future and past just fucks up today. Concentrate on being a great mom and everything else will fall into place. Q. I have been religious about carrying condoms, just in case I meet a hot guy. What I don’t understand is why the guys always look at me like I am a slut because I have condoms on me. It really ruins the whole mood for me. We can’t win. I tell them “better safe than sorry” but there is always this stigma, that disapproving look comes my way. Should I stop carrying them? Should I use a different line? WTF!? Wanda
A. Men should always have condoms on them, taken or not. You just never know when a pussy might “accidentally” fall onto them. If they don’t carry them, and they are single, it means (a) they are not a player and never expect to get laid (b) don’t practice safe sex. Both are fucked up excuses. Don’t carry them on you if you are so worried about what they think. If they don’t have any on them, make it a fun trip to go get them together. You could keep them in your medicine cabinet at home and say “My Mom/Sister/Dad bought them for me for emergencies”. You could be really sarcastic (like me) and said “oh, the last guy left them here”. My favorite is, when he asks you “do you have any condoms on you?” say “why would I? I don’t own a cock”.
< Kemble in action
< Some are proud of their large pussy 
< Not everyone likes it doggy style 
< Sound check
< Tim the bass player is really fun to talk to
..
..
< The Anvil, KoKo and Augie
< hear/see them: 
< I LOVE this shot, Ko Ko is HOT!
< check them out: 
< Tim and Danielle (with Dave, the English roadie in the background)
< I am taller than her, but the steps make me look like her mini me.
< Mean hole
< If she swallows, it means she likes you
;;
to insist upon sexy sleep overs. Mom is probably too deaf and blind by now to notice any romps you would have at home anyways. 
